#SO EVEN IF THAT MATE DIDNT INVITE ME DIRECTLY THEN THIS OTHER MATE THAT I AM CLOSER WITH WOULD HAVE

[hella1975]

‘you don’t seem too happy tho :(’ cunt I’ll bite you

[bloodycassian]

Enemies and Allies - Reader + Night court. the concept:

enemies forced together in alliance to save their courts. Politics, tension, "Once we're done here I will be the one to kill you." slow burn reader x an Illyrian? Not sure who yet

Part 1 of a possibly reoccurring fic.

You never liked dealing with other courts, but Rhysand and Tamlin were possibly the two worst high lords to deal with. Helion would have been up there too if he wasn't so damn charming. And Beron didn't even count, considering he was your uncle. He was annoying automatically. And a damned fool for not showing up to the funeral. Tamlin was a brute shoved into power much too early. You could tell just from the way he carried himself. No nobility, no grace. Just the brutal beast that lurked under his skin. The way he didn't bother leaving any flowers along the coast line was further proof of his childish ways.   Rhysand was the polar opposite. The epitome of arrogance, grace, poise and political power. All words and strategy, enough to make you double take every time he opened his mouth. Constantly on the lookout for hidden meaning or loopholes in his word choice. He made your heart race with stress.  His spymaster and general though, were like two neutral, yet menacing gargoyles on either side of him. They were unsettling, especially with the shadows that crept over the spy. You tried not to stare at those curling around his shoulders, or the dull siphons that laid on each of their hands. Or the wings.  The wings would have been the worst part if there weren't other winged generals at the funeral. Peregryns guarded their high lord, one at each side much like Rhysand. Only they radiated sunshine, and light and goodness. Still terrifyingly deadly, though. Their polished armor and ceremonial scepters glinting from the overcast skies.  "A funeral should be a celebration... of the life that was. Please, join us." Tarquin said, voice thick. His mate's lip quivered. The ocean crashed against the sand, scooping up the flowers left to honor his son. Your heart squeezed at the tone change in his voice. The way he struggled to hold himself together for his court.  Vivienne turned from the crowd, and Tarquin followed. Her dark hair moved like water over her thin frame. They held each other for a long moment while the Summer court guards ushered guests to the large open beach house. You hesitated, looking out towards the ocean as it roiled. The dark water churned, seagulls overhead made no sound as they passed.  "Its been a long time, Autumn." The sultry voice was enough to make your skin crawl. He had kept the nickname since he'd met you. And in the two hundred years since. He did not forget such a remarkable introduction. Especially of someone who had your kind of power in an opposing court.  His eyes flashed with amusement when you turned, plastering on a charming smile. "I would have preferred longer, but the Cauldron works in strange ways sometimes." You retorted, and began walking away from him, grinding your teeth when he followed with ease.  He laughed and nodded. "Indeed it does, with the passing of Tarquin's only child." the not question was leading, looking to see if you knew anything of the murder. Anger spread though you at the subtle accusation. You couldnt let it show.  You had to keep your calm. Or he would surely suspect something of you. You could practically see the accusation scene play out when Night court invaded Autumn on Summer's behalf. Claiming that Autumn had killed the boy. "A parent should never outlive their own child." You said mournfully. You knew from experience how it ruined families after such a loss.  When you snuck a glance at his face, you could have swore you saw pain there. A longing that you didnt understand coming from him. It almost made you feel bad for him. You jolted yourself, forcing your mind to focus upon on your steps in the sand.  He paused for just a second before opening the bungalow door for you, inviting you to the wake. All courts dressed in mute tones of their colors, not one dared to raise their voice above the hushed murmurs. Rhysand gave a nod to his two generals in the corner, standing like statues. "I'll be seeing you then, Autumn." His eyes met yours and you swore you saw something linger there.  Before you could tell him to knock it off with the nickname, he was weaving his way across the room to the two Illyrians. Stopping every so often to give grim smiles to the families of Summer Court. His actions seemed genuine in nature. You dared not reach out a mental hand to him though, knowing you might not return with it intact.  + "And what of Night court?" Beron's slurred words were familiar. The old man had been wasting away in his own filth for years. After the Lady of Autumn disappeared, he had nothing left to keep him in line. His sons - Eris namely- made the important decisions in the court, but he still acted as ruler. The figurehead for important events and nothing more.  He had also become obsessed with the innate abilities of all the other high lords. Constantly comparing his own lingering power with the others. In two hundred years, his body had seemed to begin to wither. Directly after your birth, some said. And cursed you for their ruler's demise. After the shame of being one of the few courts to refuse to help win the war, Beron had given up completely. Still power hungry, but no longer driven.  "Night court seems to be fine. Not shaken by the murders." You surmised as best you could after your short interaction with the High Lord.  "Was it's high Lady there?" He asked with a grunt of a laugh. He was always undermining the role, laughing whenever you mentioned seeing the lady of Night. "She was not. I believe she was taking care of the babe, as the two generals were there." He shook his head, his gray hair falling in his face. "As a female should." You fought not to cringe or bite back at him. Even if he was your uncle, Beron would be a fantastic target if there was, in fact a murderer loose in Prythian. You shooed the tratirous thought away.  "Tarquin and Vivienne send their regards." You said, hoping he would allow you to take your leave. You glanced around to the cavernous space that encapsulated the dark throne room. The banners on the wall seemed lacking in color. Years of dust likely growing on them. The cracked stone floor showed its age as well, moss growing in the corners. He refused to let anyone touch up the dim room after his wife had gone.  Echoing steps sounded behind you. You turned on your heel calmly, but gripped your sword. Ready to defend your High Lord if needed.  Your mouth fell open at the sight of The Morrigan striding down the long hall. Eris on her heels behind her. She was a beacon of light among the dull ancient stone walls. Eris had a wicked grin on, eyes locked on his father.  +  "The Queens have been killed." She announced, no wavering in her tone. Your stomach hit the floor. Beron said nothing, didnt show any reaction in the slightest. As if he already knew. "And they sent you so I could be assured the court of Nightmares isnt lying?"  "They sent me because I saw to their end personally." Eris even glanced at her with the tone she used. She leveled a look at Beron.  He waved a hand, as if the Night court commander hadn't just announced that the biggest enemies to Prythian were dead."Cut off the head of the snake and more appear." He coughed after the shrug, his breathing labored. Eris hid a pained look that you knew all too well. The denial of his father's life coming to an end in front of him. You could have balked at him for the outright insult but kept your mouth shut. "High Lord.." you began, wanting to consult him on the weight of the situation. He glared at you, that familiar piercing stare that told you to stop whatever you were doing. As a child, that stare was enough to make you behave. You didn't dare think of what more than a stare Eris had to go through during his childhood.  Eris' jaw clenched before he began "Father, the Queens no longer pose a threat. This would be the perfect op-"  "Enough, boy!" Beron's voice echoed in the hall. Your cousin's face went red with shame. Fear settled in your stomach. If Beron  had no plan for moving forces to the continent to stablaise, there would be a power struggle. Even you knew that. "You assume I dont have a plan. We can discuss this when there are no wandering eyes or ears present." His tone was softer, but still laced with that High Lord's authority.  Mor's eyes could have killed them if she had the ability.  She snorted, and turned on a heel to leave. Her footsteps echoing in the long hall. "The Night Court's whore, going back to where she belongs." Beron mused to himself. She stopped dead in her tracks. Eris' face went pale when she turned. Your palms went sweaty at her eyes, like two daggers looking at him. She held up a hand. Light flashed, and suddenly there was a razor thin spear flying through the air.  You ran at The Morrigan before you knew what you were doing. Your hands were a flurry of movement as you tried to keep her down. Eris just watched, unable to move as he watched death race for his father.  A wet splatter, and Beron's chest was punctured by that golden spear. His mouth leaked blood, his eyes closing. Eris was rooted to the spot. Your body locked up, and Mor shoved you off of her with a grunt. She wasnt trying to win the fight, she could have obliterated you in a second if she was. You felt like you weren't in your body. She stood, wiping the blood from her face. You didnt remember hitting her that hard. Your mouth was dry, mind buzzing. Mor waved her hand again and the spear was gone.  "Have all the power you want, Eris. Our deal has been struck. Send your forces to Rask by next week." She scowled at the body on the throne. The male you had just wished death upon. The reality of it made everything fuzzy. Eris was still pale, his eyes not looking away from his father. "We will see you there." He said, voice weak. Distant.  You could only faintly hear Mor Winnow away. The roaring in your head was overwhelming. Your uncle dead on his throne. A hysterical laugh bubbled from Eris' chest. Only one, before you could catch his gaze and see the silent tears streaming down his cheeks. + "You killed the Queens and my father without consulting me first. I hardly think our deal was struck." Eris had been strange after his father's funeral. But for the first time since, you saw a glimpse of the old him. On the move to Rask, he had been that hollow shell he seemed like. Btu as soon as he laid eyes on Morrigan waiting at that tent, he seemed to put on more of a show.  Inside the tent seemed too small. It was enormous, but with everyone inside it was too hot. Too cramped. The sun beating down did not help. The two Illyrians in the corner leering at you and Eris was not helping either. "A deal's a deal young Lord. I suggest you choose your words more carefully next time." Rhys winked. You crossed your arms over your chest, trying to hold back your tone. "You murdered him. I am being blamed for not guarding him well enough." Your reputation in the court had fallen.  Several Royal court members had been rumoured of your position inside the court, if you should be banished because of the death. None of them knew what actually happened. You and Eris had agreed on a believable story though, whoever had murdered Tarquin's son also reached Beron the night of the funeral. "I did not murder him. My lovely cousin however, did." Rhys drawled with a cat-like grin. It made you see red. Azriel grinned behind him. Those creepy shadows of his seemed more transparent in the sun. Mor glanced to you, her eyes not betraying anything she felt of the kill. You were hoping she would show some remorse for the death. Heat roiled in your stomach at the lack of care.  "Dont act so upset, Autumn." Rhys waved a hand, and you felt those clawd mental hands whisk across your shields. You snarled at him, reaching for your sword. You knew you couldnt win, even on your best of days. That didnt stop you though. Eris placed a hand on your arm. The two Illyrians had their siphon shields glowing in front of their high lord instantly. Rhys laughed calmly despite the tension in the room.  "You did give Mor quite the cut however, and burn it seems. Call it revenge." He folded his hand on the desk, wiping away dirt that wasnt there. Azriel's siphons burned brighter. His wings tightened behind his back. Mor still showed nothing, only looking from her cousin to Eris. Tense, her shoulders and posture radiated the worry. The tension of the room. Eris' jaw locked. He pulled you, willing you to let it go. You weren't proud of the fight with Mor. You wanted Beron to have at least died in an honorable way. But in the recent years with him hardly leaving his seat at the throne or his room at the castle, it made the chance of him seeing battle again nearly impossible.  "Maybe I should have done more." You muttered, sheathing your sword. The shadowsinger stepped forward, chest pushed out. His lips pulled back in a snarl, "Do not-" He began, voice a low threatening growl. "Azriel." Rhys said calmly, voice like honey. You grinned at the Shadowed one.  Rhys sighed and waved his tattooed hand in the air. Wine glasses appeared on the table he sat at. "Let's begin the real discussion at hand." He said calmly, pouring a glass. You glanced to Eris. He hesitated, but strode forward, taking a glass and downing it. + Eris was nearly drunk by the time you helped him out of the tent. After the long hours of dribble and stale conversation about diving resources, you couldnt blame him for having a few extra glasses of wine. He tripped on the rug going out. You caught him, but noticed shadows lingering around his torso.  "Get. Off."  You hissed, Not looking back. The shadows lingered for just a moment, then skittered away. You heard something like a sigh come from one of them as you led your cousin to his tent.

[bubblyani]

Undeserved

(Reggie Kray x Reader)

A Reggie Kray One Shot

Warnings: Swearing

Anon Request: “Heyy! Can i request a Reggie Kray x reader! I tought reader is the daughter of a enemy they having a lot of trouble. Ron and Teddy decides to kidnap his daughter because of that but didnt ask Reggie and when he found out it was so late to give her back so he treats nice and kimd to her. She likes him a lot and Reggie likes her to and he try and find the exuces to give her back. You share so much Reggie to today, that posts gave me idea. 😂😘❤️ ”

Author’s Note: Dear Anon, thank you once again and hope you like this. Been a while since i wrote about Reggie Kray. So it was fun to get back into it. Enjoy!

“What the BLOODY hell did you both do?”

Reggie Kray was definitely not in his best mood. And it clearly showed when he stood with his hands on his waist, facing his twin brother Ronnie Kray, and his accomplice Teddy Smith.

“Aww! Come on Reggie…” Teddy cried out,  his tone seeping from excitement “You have to admit this is a great idea”

“You!” Reggie pointed at Teddy with a menacing glare, “Stay out of this!”

“No, Teddy is right…” Ron remarked, his deep voice resonating in the living room, “...this is the best way we can back at Milton… for what he did to the Firm” he said while Teddy merely shrugged his shoulders, before walking over to the couch. Covering his face with his palm, Reggie looked back up.

“Kidnapping his daughter for intruding Esmeralda’s Barn...won’t send a fucking message!”

“Of course it won’t! We will just have to do something far worse-”

“Ahem!”

Suddenly the twins were quietened, forcing them to look over to their side.

“In case you haven’t noticed, I’m right here…” you said, with a stern tone. Sitting with your legs crossed, you tried your hardest to sit upright on the couch.

Turning to your right, you shot Teddy a look of disbelief, to which he raised an eyebrow.

“What?” He asked with annoyance.

“I don’t get it…” you hissed softly, “Why are you here? A lad like you shouldn’t be involved in things like this”

Teddy appeared to look even more confused, “Things like what?”

“Well…kidnapping for starters” you replied with furrowed eyebrows. Ronnie looked at you sharply.

“Well your dear old daddy isn’t exactly the living saint now,  isn’t he?” He roared, making sure he was heard from every corner of the room. You looked at him with a look equally sharp as his.

“I don’t know what you talking about-”

“Oh Come on now! Don’t even be thinking about lying to us”

Sighing, you realized you didn’t have any other option.

“You’re right... He is not” you said, with a disappointed expression, “But that doesn’t mean I have anything to do with him”

“Really? And why is that?” Teddy jumped in smugly, comfortable by the atmosphere laid out by Ron. Looking at the young man, you shook your head slowly, looking right back at the twins.

“Be- Because…” you paused, “I barely knew him. He left me and me mum when I was little, and all that we knew about him was cozying up with all his mistresses, making trouble and-” you scoffed with a sudden realization, “Why am I even explaining myself to you?”

“No wonder it was hard to track her down…” Teddy said, his tone growing serious , “she went by Y/L/N…not Milton”

“And…” you began, “as much as I appreciated your consideration with these…” you said, showing your wrists that had been tied up tightly with muslin cloth, “I would really prefer my hands to be...untied. I won’t escape, I’m not that stupid. I know what I'm up against”

Your eyes wandered involuntarily towards Reggie Kray, scanning his frame as he stood there, watching you with curiosity.

“Oh really?” Ronnie asked, taking a step towards you, “And how are we to fucking believe that?”

“Yeah exactly” Teddy added, standing up.

“Lads!” Reggie finally spoke out once again, calmness entering his tone, “Come on, let’s not get rilled up. You know maybe she…I’m sorry, what’s your name love?”

“Uh…Y/N” you blurted out in surprise.

“Yeah…Maybe Y/N won’t be doing anything rash” he continued, “She seems like a smart girl…”

You felt relief washing over you. Finally, you finally realized how nice it felt to have someone take your side even for the smallest matter, to trust you. This man certainly appeared to be the more rational one  among the three.

The sudden knock on the door, announced the arrival of a thin, tall man. He looked at you with confusion, especially when you gave him a flat smile out of politeness.

“Boss…” he said, “We got a problem”

“What is it Albie?” Reggie asked.

Looking at you, Albert Donoghue quickly walked over to the twins. Hushed tones filled the room as Teddy quickly joined their conversation.

“The fuck did you do Ron?” Reggie cried out loud enough, “ You know Jack ain’t reliable…”

Grunting, Ronnie frowned at his brother. Albert leaned towards Reggie. “What do we do, Reg?” He said, allowing Ron to look over at Reggie. With wide eyes, Reggie extended his arms with a scoff.

“Well don’t look at me, I’m definitely not going to clean up your fuckin mess mate” Reggie said, looking directly at his brother.

“FINE!” Ron said, “Ted…you stay put and keep an eye on her-”

“No no Ted…” Reggie interrupted, placing his hand on Teddy’s shoulder, “You should go with him, keep him sane, yeah? I can handle this…Go!”

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

Closing the door on them, Reggie returned to the living room. And you just realized, how it was just the two of you now. Just the two of you.

Suddenly, you strangely missed the chaotic sounds of arguments that had been filling your ears earlier. For now it was just uncomfortable silence. When you could even hear the ticking of the clock, you did not know what to do.

“Right...” Reggie said, setting you at ease, “Well first things first...” he said, as he walked over to you in his swagger. For some reason it frightened you, for you had no clue what he had planned. A sigh of relief left your lips when you found  him gingerly taking your wrists to undo the wrist bindings. You were surprised just how gentle he was. Given the fact many knots were done, it took some time to set your hands free.

“Ah...thats better” you said , a soft smile adorning your lips as the bindings loosened up. Looking up, you realized he was looking directly at you, therefore enabling you to observe him with clarity at such close proximity. He was handsome, very handsome in fact. Much more handsome than his brother. Not that Ron Kray was ugly, but Reggie certainly appeared to be classier when it came to handsomeness. And those lips, they were not to be underestimated, for they appeared to look irresistible.

So you were not at fault when you blushed a little as a result. Clearing his throat, he stood up.

“Thank you...by the way” you said, rubbing your now-marked wrists, “You obviously seem much nicer than the rest , I...” you paused, “I appreciate your faith in me. I know what happens to people who don’t use their brain in situations like this”

“Oh yeah?” Reggie asked, looking amused, “What?”

“Oh...Simple” you replied, uncrossing your legs, “Their brains will just get blown up”

A soft chuckle erupted from Reggie Kray, which was definitely what you didn’t expect. Chuckling back, you felt strange to indulge yourself in humor at a time like this.

“Is this your house?” You found yourself ask.

“No...” Reggie replied softly, “ it’s actually mum’s...”

“Oh!” You were surprised, looking around “is she...”

“She’s on holiday...”

“Oh...” you nodded. An urge to make more conversation came over you.

“So...uh…” Reggie started, rubbing his hands together, “Would you er…like some-”

“Tea?”

“Tea?”

Amused by the coincidence, you both laughed together. “Yes...” you nodded with a smile, “Tea is good. I-I can make tea” you were surprised just how forward you were shocked of your response just now.

“Oh...Lovely” Reggie said, in a pleased yet nonchalant tone. Getting up, you rubbed your hands on your sides as you began to slowly walk forward. You felt nervous peeking into the kitchen.

“Um…”you hesitated, “Mr.Kray?”

“Reggie…call me Reggie, love ” he said, getting up as well. You nodded.

“Alright…uh…this is stupid but...” you began, “this is not my kitchen so…would you mind awfully to show me around?”

“Oh right! Right...”

“I don’t want to be rude and misuse anything...”

“No no ...Don't worry! here, let me help” Reggie assures you, guiding you into the kitchen.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

The sound of Reggie Kray sipping his cup of Earl Gray complimented nicely with the sound of the little spoon you stirred your tea with as both of you sat together.

“Now that’s a fine cup of tea” he said. You smiled involuntarily, unable to cope with your heart warming up.“Thank you, I’m glad” you said, proceeding to sip your own cup. As the tea refreshed your tongue, you couldn’t help but chuckle, which made Reggie look at you. He may not have had words, but his curious expression was inquiring you enough.

“Having tea...with Reggie Kray, after taken hostage…” you said , “...definitely not something you’d hear everyday” you added, taking another sip, “...suppose I should be privileged” you said teasingly.

“Well you should be…” Reggie winked. Your heart skipped a beat instantly. Pressing your lips together, you didn’t know why you felt that way.

“So love, what do you do for living? Reggie asked. Love, hearing him always call you that, you found it unexpectedly pleasing.

Placing your cup on the table, you crossed your legs.

“I’m a school teacher” you said with confidence.

“Really?” He asked with fascination, “What you in charge of? shaping the young minds?”

“No...Homework and scolding” you quickly responded, inciting more laughter and inviting more cheer into the room.

Constantly, you had to remind yourself  of where you were. For it was turning out to be dangerously easy to forgot you were taken hostage and not a party guest.  

Looking around the house, you smiled, “Do come here often? To see your mum?”

He nodded, “I do actually, so does Ron”

“You both love your mum very much I see?”

“Yeah, quite” you heard him say, “very much actually”

Nodding in acknowledgement, you kept smiling for you couldn’t stop, “...that’s really nice” And you meant it with all sincerity. Reggie put his cup down.

“What about your mum? You’re living with her?” He asked.

“Uh…” you hesitated , “No…” you replied, shaking your head, smoothening your dress.

“You visit her often?”

“No..” You answer was quick that you gulped later on. Looking at his confused face, you went:

“Cause she’s dead”

Confusion turned to realization. Shaking his head, Reggie sighed heavily,  “Y/N, love, I’m so sorry” you could hear the guilt in his tone.

“It’s alright…” you shrugged your shoulders, “It was a long time ago” you inhaled deeply,“Ever since dad left, it was just me and mum. So it definitely wasn’t easy for her” you continued, “She did so much, sacrificed so much...for me” you said, “But sometimes...it was so hard on her. And she wasn’t exactly the strongest person around. It was...too much on her I guess. I didn’t know much, I was too young. One day…” your voice broke slightly, “One day...when I came home after school, I couldn’t find her. She wasn’t in the kitchen, nor the bedroom”

Leaning forward, you enveloped your fingers together, “I....uh...” you began, clenching your jaw, “...finally found her in the bathroom…pills in hand” you forced yourself to smile with your lips pressed tightly, “... I was too late”

By a slight movement, you felt Reggie inch closer to you. But you did not look. You didn’t have the heart to.

“Dad didn’t even come to the funeral…bloody bastard” your voice broke once again. Clearing your throat, you continued, “He really didn’t care about us at all...” you laughed ironically, “...and yet, we are still being punished for ever knowing him. My mum…she...” your breathing was hurried and short, “She didn’t deserve it…oh..god!”

Frustrated, you bent your head down, covering your face with your hands, haunted by the memories you couldn’t escape from. You were so close to tears.

“Oh love...” Reggie cooed, “Come here”. Pulling you over to him, he wrapped his arm around you. Suddenly resting your head on his chest, you couldn’t help but feel comforted. You didn’t mean to open up, yet he made it alright enough for you to be. It had been a while since a man made you feel this way.

Turning your head upward, you glanced at his face. He looked gentle, and his concern was sincere. Why must he be this way? You wondered. And why, were his lips so capable of saying the sweetest things?

The moment he looked down at you, you pushed your hand against his thigh, finding enough balance to stay straight, as your lips touched his own.

A few seconds later, you retracted, worried of his reaction. But the moment he pulled you by the arm to kiss you back, you were more than relieved.

A part of you wanted to shout to the whole of East London that Reggie Kray was an excellent Kisser. But another part of you was selfish to share him with the world. That part wanted to indulge this particular piece of information all by oneself.

The kisses started out gentle, comforting. His lips assured he recognized you, assured he acknowledged and understood you. But as your hand grabbed on to his tie to pull him closer, the kisses deepened, and the comfort progressed towards a hidden desire you both had developed. That attraction which fueled a need you never dared to mention at the beginning. And it clearly showed when tongues came into play, impatient to entwine with one another.

Suddenly pulling away, Reggie sighed as he placed his forehead against yours. In complete disbelief,  you looked at him while panting. Disbelief of how much you longed for this man, that you wished Ronnie Kray and company would never return.

Another sigh. Heavier than before. This time, Reggie proceeded to look into your eyes.

“Right...” he breathed, “I’m taking you back home”

Suddenly your heart was beating fast, and it was definitely not out of excitement.

“Reggie...” you whispered, “ I don’t want to make trouble for you” for some reason, you found yourself rambling in desperation, “You’re not keeping me here by force...” your voice grew softer, “... not anymore”.

Your lips were in struggle of attaching to his like a magnet. Holding your face, Reggie allowed his thumb to graze over your bottom lip. Your eyes didn’t fail to flutter by the mere touch of his hand.

“No...” he said, “You need to go home, where it’s safe”

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

Truthfully, you should be happy. You should be relieved all was well and you were safe once again. But the fact you had to part with him somehow scared you. As if empathy, compassion, respect and attraction began to form in your heart in the shape of Reggie Kray. And you knew it happened the moment he spoke to you, the moment he turned his attention to you. He made it easier for you to endure an otherwise horrible experience, which also could have caused more impact than expected.

The engine stopped as the car was parked right in-front of your house. With his hands on the wheel, Reggie kept staring ahead. Sitting on the opposite seat, you did the same, sharing silence.

You took a deep breath which was loud enough for him to notice.

“You don’t have to do this...I don’t need to go. Your brother...everyone...won’t they be angry? ”you asked softly. He shook his head.

“Best that you go on in now love, come on” he said, with a restricted yet soft smile. He wasn’t exactly happy and you knew it.

“I know I should be grateful but...” you paused, “You are taking a risk here, are you sure?”

“Honestly love...” he began, “...keeping you hostage won’t really do us any good. And Ronnie..he...he should have known that. But his fucking pride...it got in the way”

You nodded, trying so hard to empathize. But still, you were helpless. You were enslaved to concern and attachment.

Reggie chuckled, seeing your worried look.

“Its alright...” he said, lightly stroking your cheek, “You can trust me. Now go on”

Your breath grew shaky by his touch,“I just need to do one more thing”

“What is i-”

Your desperate kiss shushed him so quickly. It was desperate yes, and very emotional.As if it were to be your last. When you felt him cup your face in response, you moaned in frustration. For you knew it was about to end.

“Is it awful of me to want to defile this car with you right now?” Eyes closed, you breathed into his lips. Chuckling low, he kissed you again. And for a few seconds it felt like heaven once more.

“Heh! Didn’t  know you had such a mouth in you” he replied, brushing his lips against yours. You smiled,  “Clearly you don’t know me well enough…”

“Yeah? Well maybe I will…some other time”

Your smile suddenly vanished with surprise. Suddenly, there was a silver lining.

“ You better...” Pulling away, you gave him a warm smile , “Thank you Reggie Kray”

“You’re very welcome Y/N !” He replied, as he watched you slide off the car.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

“What the BLOODY hell did you do?”

Roaring the moment he entered the house, Ronnie was definitely not pleased with what happened.

“Heh...didn’t think you’d turn that around, mate”

Reggie said, while blowing out puffs of smoke from his cigarette. Ronnie’s anger was justified, especially when he found his brother sitting comfortably in the armchair. With no hostage.

“It’s not fucking funny Reg!” His brother yelled,“Wha-”

“Consider it a favor...” Reggie said coolly, as he got up, “...me cleaning up your fucking mess which could have ruined ...everything” he added, continuing to smoke.

Unable to answer, Ronnie glared at him, breathing heavily. Getting up, Reggie sighed as he patted his brother’s shoulder.

“You can never stay mad at me...I know”

___________________________________________

Check my MASTERLIST for more :)

[bluesfortheredj]

Gwilym and the reader have been best friends for as long as they could remember and they just did a movie together so they’re doing an interview together and he accidentally reveals a huge secret

You sit in the middle of Joe and Gwilym on a small velvet purple coloured sofa, so small in fact, that it seemed as if it were made for you three, and you lean your head back as one of the make up team applies some powder to your face to make you look a little less shiny on camera. The three of you had done two previous interviews, and by now the room was a little on the warm side, so you needed all the help you could get for the next one, although it was your last, so there was a light at the end of the tunnel thankfully.

“You okay?” Gwilym asks in a slight whisper as the make up lady moves on to Joe.

“Yeah, I’m great, you?” you smile, turning as much as you could to face him.

“Perfect,” he grins, placing his hand on your thigh and squeezing it lightly. This was nothing out of the ordinary for you two, everyone knew that you’d been friends for years before doing Bohemian Rhapsody together, and your small public displays of affection went unnoticed nowadays, especially from the rest of the cast.

“Get a room you two,” Joe smirks from beside you. Well, it went unnoticed most of the time, anyway.

“We did, but you followed us in,” Gwilym quips back, shooting Joe a playful grin over your shoulder.

“Okay, calm down boys, one more interview then we can go for a drink, yeah?” you say as you turn to the face the currently empty chair in front of you all.

“Sounds good to me,” Joe replies, “will you be joining us, Gwil?”

“Wouldn’t miss it for the world, mate,” he says, stretching his arm around the back of the sofa, and carefully placing his hand on your shoulder so that it’s not visible to the camera. His thumb strokes your t-shirt, then the interviewer enters the room, and you all stand up to greet him. He’s a young man named Harry, and his hand shakes a little when it gets to you.

“You okay, Harry?” Gwilym asks, noticing the slight shake.

“Yeah, yes, this is my first big interview though, so please forgive me if I’m a little nervous,” he smiles as he takes his seat, “feels like a job interview with you three sat opposite me!”

“Don’t worry! At least it’s not all of us, right?” you grin.

“True, very true,” he nods, “thank you.”

The camera starts to roll just as he gets his papers in order, then with a surprising air of confidence, he makes his introduction, then delivers the first question.

“Gwilym, I’ll come to you first, how was it working so closely with the Brian May?”

“Intimidating, to say the least. Although by the end of it I think I was the one freaking him out… We sort of ended up mirroring each other quite a lot, it was a little worrying,” Gwilym chuckles.

“If it weren’t for the colour of the hair, you’d never have been able to tell them apart!” Joe adds, and you laugh along with them.

“Now, (Y/N), what was it like kissing Rami in those teeth? Did they get in the way at all?”

“It was more than a little awkward,” you laugh, feeling Gwilym’s hand on your shoulder again as he stretches out once more, his long fingers tickling you slightly, “there was a certain amount of practising that had to be done beforehand, that’s for sure.”

“Is that what you call it?” Joe smirks.

“I think Lucy would have been having words with me otherwise...” you say, nudging Joe’s arm.

“Speaking of which, were there any other romances on set?” Harry asks, looking along all three of you for some kind of sign before you answered. He may be nervous, but he knew exactly what to look for.

“You mean apart from the bromance that formed between the four guys?” you answer, before anyone else opens their mouths, “they weren’t exactly subtle about it, either.”

“What can we say? It was an instant connection,” Joe smiles.

“If only we’d met a few months earlier, they definitely would have been invited to our wedding,” Gwilym laughs, then his face drops as both you and Joe turn to look at him, shocked expressions on both your faces.

“Our wedding?” Harry asks without missing a beat. Gwilym looks directly at you, his mouth moving a little, but no sound coming out of it yet, and you manage to arrange your face into one of calm, then give him a nod, keeping your face turned to him as he speaks to Harry.

“Yes,” he croaks, then clears his throat as he sits upright and places his free hand on yours, which is resting on your knee, “our wedding.”

“Well, to be honest, that’s thrown my questions completely out of the window,” Harry laughs, “how long ago was the wedding?”

“Just over a year,” Gwilym replies confidently as Joe sits there like a deer in headlights.

“Guys!” he eventually gasps, “guys!”

“I take it you had no clue?” Harry asks Joe.

“No clue at all!” he replies, still looking at you both, “I’m speechless!”

“And he’s never speechless,” Gwil adds.

“(Y/N), would you like to add anything?” Harry asks, and you finally look back up at him with a smile.

“I don’t think so, no,” you chuckle.

“So, in light of this news, I have to ask… How was it watching your wife kiss another man?” Harry smirks.

You sit back against Gwilym’s arm with a laugh, his other hand still caressing yours on your leg, and you shuffle over to rest against his side as Joe looks at you both with a smile. Thinking about it, he knew there must have been something between you at one point, or there was going to be something in the future, and he was actually impressed with how well you’d kept the secret from everyone.

“It was a challenge, I’m not going to lie. Especially as they did actually have to practise it beforehand,” he laughs, “how I stopped myself from letting this slip then, I do not know.”

“Is there any reason you’ve kept this a secret so long?” Harry asks, looking to you more than Gwilym. You feel Gwil turn towards you, his hand resting soothingly on your back, and you give a short shrug before answering.

“Not particularly,” you start, “it just sort of… happened.”

“It was such a natural progression in our lives, that it didn’t even occur to us to ‘announce’ it as such,” Gwilym adds.

“You two are too much,” Joe says, pretending to wipe tears from his face, “the sweetest damn couple I’ve ever met.”

“Stop it, you,” you laugh, playfully slapping his leg.

“I’m just really happy I was here to witness this moment,” he carries on, dabbing his cheeks with his jacket cuff as if he were crying. Gwilym reaches from behind you to give him a shove, and you all sit there laughing for a moment before regaining your composure and directing your attention back to Harry.

“I have a question,” Joe then says, turning to you both on the sofa, “when were you going to tell us?”

“Probably when we got back to normality and started wearing our wedding rings again,” Gwilym laughs, “it would be the only time we’d actually remember that we hadn’t said anything before.”

“True!” you agree, “it’d be that sudden moment of realisation that you still had no clue!”

“I’ll try not to take it too personally...” Joe winks.

“Sorry, we’ve sort of derailed your interview here, haven’t we?” you apologise with a slightly worried look on your face as you meet Harry’s gaze.

“I can forgive you, you’ve given me more than enough with your accidental reveal,” he grins.

“Me and my big mouth,” Gwilym scoffs, rolling his eyes.

“What else has he got that’s big?” Joe asks you, a devilish grin spread across his lips.

@disneyprincessbuffyannesummers @mychemicalimagines

[fanficsandmoregalore]

Love By Moonlight

Kylo Ren x Reader chapt 2

While Kylo Ren was planning a festival, similar plans were being made in the Village La Resistance, under the rule of alpha couple, Leia and Han. The two had hosted several small parties, similar to festivals, but only certain packs were allowed to attend, for the safety of the village. They were called "confrences", but they were too formal and the villagers were usually bored by them. Like Kylo, Leia and Han had many allies and a fairly large pack but it was still a very closed community. Their village was a bit less advanced than Kylo's but that was okay. Everyone knew everyone which is why they decided to try to host another festival. Leia had gotten news that a handful of her villagers had not found their soulmates. One of those villagers was Rey's good friend, (y/n), who was a very shy omega.

 "(Y/n), come on!" Rey excitedly cheered as she dragged you to the center of the village. Rey had been talking about the plans for the festival nonstop since she heard Leia talk about it with Han. She was so excited for you to possibly meet your soulmate. She always felt bad for you, figuring you must've been so lonely. Truth be told, you were fine on your own, you sometimes preferred it. At last, Rey had successfully dragged you to the village square for the big announcement. News must travel fast because everyone was talking about the festival when you arrived. Leia and Han walked out of their home that was at the center of the village and everyone cheered immediately upon seeing their faces. Han signaled for everyone to quiet down.

 "We will be hosting yet another conference with our usual allies." Leia stated with a serious tone. The villagers all began to chatter amongst themselves, obviously very confused. Then Leia smiled and giggled a bit, making Han smile and chuckle.

 "She's kidding everyone. This year, we will be bringing back an old tradition. We are going to be hosting a festival!" And with that, everyone cheered. Except you, of course. You didn't like the confrences and the festival would only be a larger, more rowdy version of them.

 "Isn't this great?! A festival! I'm so excited!" Finn asked Rey loudly so she could hear him over the crowd. Finn was Rey's mate. Rey found Finn alone and hurt after he had saved Poe, another member of your pack and another one of your friends. Finn was originally in Kylo's pack but left because he felt out of place and didn't agree with their customs but nobody ever really asked him about it, he was just accepted as a new member when he arrived.

 "Yeah! Maybe we'll finally find out who this cutie's soulmate is." And there he was, Poe. He wrapped his arms around your shoulders from behind you and kissed your cheek, making you blush. Rey and Finn laughed and began to talk between themselves. Poe was always a big flirt when it came to you but you never returned the gestures. He was only a friend, nothing more and nothing less. But no matter what you told Rey, she was convinced you and Poe were soulmates.

 "You as excited as Finn, (y/n)?" Poe whispered into your ear. You shook your head and he hugged you.

 "I am. I hope i find my soulmate this time 'round. Maybe i have but i just haven't heard her sweet voice siging out to me." Poe's whisper was smooth but still not romantically appealing to you. Many girls in the village and elsewhere hoped they were destined to be Poe's mate but he had his heart set on you.  Poe went from having his arms around your shoulders to having his hand resting around your hip as he talked next to you with Rey and Finn.

 "You guys, i'm going to go home." You said quietly. They were too busy happily talking about the festival to hear you and you sighed. This wasn't unusual of them and it didn't make you upset or anything, it was just the fact that they didn't understand you. That's what you wanted from a mate, someone who understood how you felt. Poe was nice and all but he was too affectionate and loud for your liking. And his singing never called out to you, he sang to you often so you were definitely sure, but he kept trying anyway. You removed yourself from Poe's grip, which caught his attention, and started walking towards your home outside of the village. Poe gently grabbed your shoulder as he caught up to you, though you had only gotten a few feet away.

 "(Y/n), where are you going? Leia and Han were going to talk more about the festiva-"

 Poe stopped and began to growl, putting you behind him protectively, baring his fangs and his nails turned to claws. You heard gasps from the other villagers and looked over Poe's shoulder to see a blonde lady in a knight's suit of armor, a ginger who wore a black coat and black pants tucked into his boots, and a pack of grey wolves behind them, all showing their fangs. Han was quick to come and get between the visitors, you and Poe, who was still shielding you.

 "What the hell do you want?" Han questioned sternly, he seemed to know them and not in a good way. The blonde only rolled her eyes and looked to the ginger. He scoffed and handed Han a piece of parchment. Leia joined his side and looked at the page as well while the red-haired man spoke.

 "Your son, Kylo Ren, decided to bring back tradition and is hosting a festival."

 "Kylo Ren is not my son." Han hissed out, with resent lacing his words.

 "Either way, due to the code of our kind, we must invite all the neighboring packs and what not, that means you as well. That has our location and a list of who all has recieved an invitation. It's up to you whether or not you want to attend."

Han scoffed, crumbling the thing in his hands.

"No thanks."

"We'll inform Kylo Ren that you won't be coming. What a shame." The ginger said sarcastically and with that, the strangers left. Leia looked at Han with hurt eyes as if he had insulted her directly.

"Han, this might be our only chance to see our son again! What were you thinking?!"

 "Kylo Ren is a monster. Our son isn't." After that, Han gave the parchment to Leia and walked away. Leia looked at you and Poe, asking if you two were alright.

"I'm fine. You okay, (y/n)?" Poe said, he turned to you, looking normal again. You nodded and stood there awkwardly as Rey and Finn came over to join you.

"Leia, what are we gonna do? You're not actually considering going to Starkiller Village, are you?" Finn asked. Leia let out a sigh and looked in the direction the strangers had came from.

"He's my son. I haven't seen him since we ..... i want to go. I want to see him." Leia stated defiantly, "But Han will more than likely not let me go...at least not alone." Leia smiled at the four of you. You knew exactly where she was going with this and you didnt want any part of it.

You tried to tell her you didnt want to go, you were only an omega.

"Leia, i'd love to help bu-"

"Great! We'll meet back here in the morning to go to Starkiller Village and scope things out. If it seems fine, we'll attend Be-...Kylo's festival." Leia didn't like hearing her son's new name leave her mouth but the feeling of sadness was quickly replaced by joy when she thought about how she'd win her son back and they'd all be happy. Everyone split up, heading to their own homes, and you heading off to yours.

Early the next morning, against your better judgement, you showed up to the spot to meet with Leia, Rey, Finn, and Poe. They were waiting for you and before you got close to the others, Poe came over to you.

"Listen, (y/n). If we get there and anything happens, you stick close to me. I'll protect you, alright?"

"Sure thing, Poe. Thanks."

Poe gently pinched your cheek as he smiled.

"Anything for my girl."

You smiled but internally cringed. It was cute, too cute. You both walked the few feet to get with the rest of your group. Leia had a map and you could see where she had circled the location for Starkiller Village. It wasn't too far actually but it wasn't close either, a good 30 miles, if not more. You were uneasy as Leia talked about her plan. You had heard so many bad things about that village and even worse things about its alpha, Kylo Ren. You didn't know what he looked like but your friends described him as a scarred monster, a truly terrible human being, and so on and so forth.

"If we are separated by some chance, i want you all to find the river, follow it upstream to the waterfall and wait there until morning. I will come find you." Leia stated, pointing to the river in the map. And with that, the group was off. Leia was unaware that Han was very aware of her plans and was following your group, to make sure his wife was safe and, even if he didn't admit it, to see his son who he had cast out all those years ago.

- meanwhile -

"YOU DID WHAT!?" Kylo screamed at Hux. Hux rolled his eyes as Kylo began to destroy an entire room with his bare hands.

"I invited your parents' village; it's the code of werewolves to invite all the ne-"

"I know the damn code but I gave you direct orders not to invite them!"

"Sir, if you're going to host a festival, you have to do it right. And that means, all packs are invited, allies or not." Phasma added. Kylo threw another chair at the the wall, it shattered from the force he threw it with.

"I don't know why you're so angry, they're not coming anyway. Your father, Han Solo, was very clear about that."

"Han Solo is not my father!" Kylo growled, his eyes were a burning yellow. If he got any more upset, he'd wind up destroying his entire home. Hux chuckled to himself, recalling Han saying something similar about Kylo. Kylo sat in his throne chair, the only one remaining, and sighed as he pinched his temple.

"This was a bad idea. Nobody will want to show up." Kylo thought out loud. He was sure nobody would attend his festival and that he wouldn't find his soulmate after all.

"It would appear you're wrong. We have company." Hux stated as he looked out the window. Kylo stood and looked out the window. In the woods, he saw his mother leading 4 others. Kylo growled loudly but it escalated into a loud scream of anger.

"Did you guys hear that?"

Poe looked around, you were all close to the village by now but still in the woods.

"Poe, be quiet or we'll be spotted." Finn warned his friend in a whisper. And as if on cue, your group was surrounded by a pack of wolves similar to the ones from before. You all gathered around Leia to keep her safe but she stepped forward and from the shadows came the one she wanted to see. He circled around your group, slowly, looking over each and everyone one of you before stopping again in front of his mother.

"Hello, Ben."

"That's not my name." Kylo quickly replied, "What do you want, mother?"

"I want to come to your festival." She stated with a smile, clearly not frightened at all. Kylo frowned and turned his back to his mother. You looked at Kylo, he wasn't nearly as scary looking as everyone said.

"If my beta hadn't gone against my orders, you wouldn't even have an invitation. I'm feeling generous so I'll let you leave in peace....this time. But don't come back. Ever."

"What a jerk."

Everyone turned to look at you. You covered your mouth, regretting your sudden outburst. Kylo walked over to you and towered over you, trying to be intimidating. Poe was right by you, an arm already in front of you in case Kylo tried anything, and Kylo took note of it.

"And who are you? I know the rest of these people, but you are...new." Kylo asked, but he wasn't interested, he was annoyed and wanted to know who he was annoyed with.

"Uh, i'm (y/n)."

"Hmm, interesting." Kylo backed up and thought for a minute. He pointed at you but looked at his mother.

"Give her to me. Consider her collateral. You can come back and get her on the day of the festiva, and she satys here so i know that you won't plan some sort of attack. Deal?"

"No! Take me instead!" Poe took hold of your hand and begged Kylo. Kylo smirked and shook his head.

"I knew you'd say that, Dameron. But you're not as pretty to look at." Kylo said, purposely trying to make Poe angry, and he did.

"Come on." Kylo said to you before turning to walk back to his village.

"What if i say no?" You asked. Kylo turned on his heel and faced you. You were feeling surprisingly confident for someone who is always really shy and nervous around strangers.

"If you say no, then you can go back to your village, no problem, but you will never come back to mine. Not for some festival or any other reason."

You looked at Leia then back to Kylo and sighed. Leia was always there for you, it was time you returned the favor. She really wanted to go to this festival all to see her son and you were gonna be the reason she did. You looked up at Kylo and he smirked again, knowing your answer.

"Right this way, (y/n)."

[survivorkvaloya]

Episode #3: “I Wanna Start S#!t” - Chelsea

Honestly, Steffen, not much has happened for me in the first two episodes. We'll go over it really quick. I liked my original tribe of 5 with Jules, Liam, Christine, and Ryan. They were all awesome. My mentor, Colin, a fellow House of Shade alumni--also awesome. We won the flash game challenge (of the 5 competitors of my tribe, I scored 1 point which landed me in the middle of our tribe rankings). I bonded with Christine early. That could be something to hang onto. The following round was a crapshoot competition and we won that, too! On my new tribe, I like Lauren and Jack and I also have Christine there. I really wish there was more dirt or drama because I love writing lengthy confessionals, but things are just getting started here!

Alright. So I guess no one wants pleasant kind hearted lily around. They want mean angry bitter ass lily which I'm happy to give but they ain't gonna like it. I got an extra vote on this island thing that no one is gonna know about because fuck these bitches. I know I will need the upper hand later when the couples try to destroy the singles. When I get out of reflection island I'm gonna try to buddy up with Connor and ask him to be my new mentor. Jules I'm pissed. I wish I knew exactly what happened but I will try to get to the bottom of it and make sure all those losers pay. I hope you start feeling better too. I feel like I can't trust anyone after that but Jackson seems pretty genuine of not knowing or not being able to do anything. But, because of this HUGE betrayal everyone on that other tribe can fend for themselves. I'll be all nice nice yeah I'd love to work with you but nah. I ain't interested. Let's be clear here, I have no loyalties and I'm not playing some kind of loyal game. You cut my mentor ill cute you. BYE Andreas also told me about Jules getting voted out most likely before the vote which is cool. I appreciate that. But Nicholas Colin we ain't buddies. I'm rooting for a student to win but it ain't y'all. Tonight I will hopefully put together a board of what original tribes people were on their swap tribe and who their mentor is. I think this will help me get a better picture of what's going on. Also, being bitter as fuck only two days in? My aesthetic. 

Oh and also I miss the damn creative challenge? There better be more to come because I'm sad. I've never done a music video challenge this was my shot and these bitches took me out!!! What the HECKIE???? 

nothing's really happened imo. this main is slow. i want drama. nicholas said there's a majority cross tribe alliance. where's my invite? i wanna start shit. my goal is just to make merge so i can blow up, the best way "Trixsea" Steele knows how. :) :) :)

I know i killed this music video challenge, but Chelsea told me that me and only 3 others submitted anything and after re-reading the rules and seeing that its an extra 5 points for every appearance we could actually be fucked. It wouldn't be to big of a problem because honestly I like going to tribal and getting to vote people off, but I also know of the cross tribe majority alliance who supposedly has majority on our tribe right now. If we lose this I'll probably try to blow up and either shake that alliance up or go out in a blaze of chaotic glory.  

Im at tribal right now and I was getting a sick feeling that I was going to be the one voted out... But I always feel like that. I think that I am going to get my team together, Liam got a vote and if he wasn't sure if he wanted to work with me (even thought he said he wanted to) so yeah.... Me, Andreas, Colin, Liam, Ryan, Jackson... Then we have the numbers? yeah cus there is only nine of us rn. We could pull in Conner to make life really easy and to add a couple number just encase. If we do that then out of everyone we would have: Me and Liam, Colin and Brett, Ryan and Jackson, Andreas and... someone (-_- sorry) and then Conner who lost their student. Thats 9 people in a game with 18? maybe that  about half. I don't know what I'm talking about anymore but I do know that this needs to happen soon before I get bumped to the side... I do no like being a side bitch 

Ahhhh, I'm literally so in love with this challenge it was so much fun and Chelsea did such an amazing job editing it. If we don't win I'll be shocked...and scared. Lauren disappeared for a bit and didn't participate so like I'm a little...or a lot worried for her. As of right now I literally love this tribe. QuilLynn is super smart and I adore her, Willow and Chelsea are sweet and adorable and Brett is a gem. I guess the only person I haven't clicked with is Jack but for now everything's looking good and Im hoping we win the challenge :)

Whew, I'm so excited to have won immunity! The challenge was so much fun and now...its messy cause alliances are starting to form and QuilLynn told me about one that apparently me and Lauren are in? So I don't know if Lauren's making deals without me or what, but nobody's approached me specifically and I'm not in any chats so! I'm not sure what's going on and I don't like it. I think right now my #1 is QuilLynn. She's smart, sweet and very easy to talk to so I officially adore her and wanna protect her at all costs. I need to get things in order with Lauren cause I don't wanna get in the middle of some warfare we don't need to be in. 

We lost. Again. This is the worst. My tribe is cursed. Kinda. It's like a blessing in disguise for me tbh. I'm using this time to recover from last round and regroup. There's more talk of a majority alliance forming and I wanna make sure it happens so I can solidify my place in it. I think my number 1 ally has shifted from Nicholas to Jackson now. Jackson is literally my fave person in this game. He's so nice and fun to talk to, he's socially and strategically aware, and most importantly, he's really cute and nice to look at so! I still got that alliance with JD and Andreas but I am not really loyal to it. JD seems to playing messily and I've mentioned before Andreas seems too well connected for his own good. Anyway, onto this vote! Literally? The only thing I've heard? Is Connor? but....... that's all I've heard. Connor isn't putting out another name. No one else is putting out another name. And that's a recipe for paranoia in my mind. I wanna trust the majority that's been built, JD says Jackson and Ryan will be voting with us, and I trust them 10000% but I'm a paranoid hoe. 

my confessional game so far has been weak af so far like I literally forgot to write a confessional last round, so I guess I'll just do a quick recap. Essentially I have mixed feelings about my tribe bc there are 3 other people who I really like Chelsea, QuilLynn, and Gage. We ended up creating an alliance and QuilLynn titled it "arent you Klad I didn't say fjorden" which is iconic! Anyway that cookie challenge last round killed me but I'm glad I came up with the strategy to split 3 on 0, 3 on 9 and 3 in the middle. Lily was convinced that they weren't going to put all their cookies on one of our tribe mates so like I'm kinda glad I proved her wrong lmao idk. As for the people I have mixed feelings about Jack is okay I mean he usually replies but in PMs he can be kinda boring and give one word answers. Christine is really nice but she just doesnt reply a lot? maybe she just doesnt like small talk or something. Brett, I've heard really good things about him but he only replies when its about him lol, like if I ever start sharing one of my stories or whatever idk he just stops replying lol. Lauren, okay shes super cute but seems inactive. Anyway I was like super excited that we got to do the music video challenge this round, its always super fun even though what I make is always really awkward lmao. Anyway like 4 people from our tribe didnt submit, Jack was sick (so he says), Gage was moving which is alright, and Lauren (didn't say anything about why she didn't do it lol), and Chelsea was editing so its all good. Shes like a really good editor and our video turned out great so I'm glad we won even though we had like 4 people in the video compared to them having like 7. So then QuilLynn informs me that Chelsea told her that theres a majority alliance of like 8ish people?? like what the fuck thats about half the people here. So its Andreas-Jack, Colin-Brett, JD-Liam, and potentially Lauren-Christine. And there are a bunch of people we're unsure could be in the alliance. And then as Im hearing about the alliance I'm realizing that it consists of the people on my tribe who dont always reply to me lol or when they do are boring. And I mean I know im not the most interesting texter but these people are worse then me. So then I was talking to Ryan and asking him about his tribe and the reward and stuff to see if I could get any information about whether if hes in the majority or not without directly asking. So I was like whats was the idol clue reward this time and he told me about how it has to do with whoever gets the lowest score in the challenge, which sounds super complicated bc if someone with the lowest score doesnt have the clue then no one gets the idol. And he gave the clue to me, and I wanna give it to QuilLynn but we dont need too many people throwing the challenge and if one of our alliance members already has it then it should be alright, and it'll keep up my trust with Ryan since Im not supposed to give it to anyone so Im hoping its a win win. but he told me that I wasnt supposed to tell anyone about what the reward was but before he told me that I had already told my alliance bc I think I trust them more oops? but I think I want to trust Ryan. I told him that I heard rumors about a cross tribe majority alliance but thats all I knew, and he told me about a group of mentors and students talk about a potential alliance and they asked Danielle about it and she told Ryan she would try to get him in if she could. So then I tried talking to Danielle just making small talk or whatever and she only gave one word answers, which was fucking weird? Like some shit is clearly going on that I dont know about? I can already tell im becoming messy af which I wanted to not try to do as much as I did last season but maybe im just naturally a messy player and theres nothing I can do about it lol. Anyway I hope the majority isnt something I should worry about and I hope they self destruct somehow or Im just hoping that it doesnt exist at all and it was just a rumor made up to scare people or some shit. 

[officialviviennui]

Hurt...

I told him things I haven't told anyone... Burying my secrets in his touch... I trusted him not to hurt me. I told him that no one had touched me like that in ten years... and it was true. He touched me like I was soft and special and worthy of love and dignity and respect. The way my last love had touched me. It brought back memories... of a time when I found someone who put the fight back into me by just giving me space and showing me love. I explained that I had been hurting so badly because everyone who touches me, right now, wants to hurt me... Doctors. My husband. Even the other guys I had met... He said "touch is so important." Though I was pretty sure he invited me there to use me and hurt me and ridicule me (mmm... fat girls... the fatter the better)... It was what I expected at that point and didn't care. I didn't want anything from him... and I still don't. I didnt want to like him... because I went into it knowing he was gross and horrible and I wanted to be treated that way. I went to him gross and horrible because that's how he was going to treat me anyway and he didn't deserve me at my best. But then something weird happened... We both changed somehow. Something broke down the walls and we were just two hurt lonely people being real with each other. And I didn't want to be mean to him... And he didn't want to be mean to me... So I told him the truth about myself. I think it excited him to be "the other man". But I wasn't pretending. I just didn't want him to make a choice without knowing all of the details. I tend to believe people are... Good. Some guys would feel bad about that no matter what the circumstances. He was game. I wanted to kiss him. I had told him that I could tell it a guy could make me cum just by kissing him... So he stuck his tongue out and licked my lips like a vagina (which I found adorable and hilarious)... I smiled and said "Ok. I get it. You can eat pussy... Now kiss me like you MEAN it!" And we kissed... it was the best kiss of my life. Not because it was sexy or skilled... We connected deeply. I'm a cynic. I don't believe in soul mates. I don't believe in love at first sight. I don't believe in happily ever after. But I had all of these flooding feelings... confusing... We kissed for maybe an hour in his bed... But it felt like an eternity... and I looked up and him and he looked at me... We smiled at each other... This wasn't just sex. Something was happening and we both felt it... And he recoiled from me. Thats when I knew that we were just two sad lonely people... tearing down the things we pretend to be and being real. So, I knew it had to end that night. I have nothing to give him. Nothing. But I didn't want anything from him. And I didn't want to ever hurt him. So... I did what I do best. I made it weird. I set up the stage for my grand exit... planning to burn it all down to keep him safe from me. Because I'm a monster and a parasite... and I belong to someone else (until he can officially sign away the title and get rid of me). I was expecting that kiss to be hot and passionate. It was... Love. And I wasn't expecting it. I didn't go there for that. I told husband about the "kiss me to see" thing... And he excitedly kissed me. I didn't feel Love. I felt... Posession... Desire... Jealousy... Rage... but no love. No fire. No... Forever. I've been with my angry, abusive gaslighting husband since I was 21. I've had so many guys "fall in love" with me and the idea of me... but they all wanted to own me. This guy... Saw ME. My strength. My weakness. My fire. My love. I'm not delusional about what happened. But I wasnt expecting husband to get so hostile about it. So... fucking violently angry and upset. To tell me that I didn't feel what I felt... that I held the guy hostage "with my crazy"... that he doesn't like to fantasize about another man LOVING "My Wife". ... And I knew I made the right choice. Burn the bridge. Save him. Walk away. Save yourself. ... The next week was the hardest... Husband was especially cruel. Possessive. Demeaning. Grabby. Telling me all sorts of lies... Fucking with my head... When one person insists on being the only person in your world... Cuts you off from everything and keeps you "safe"... you trust their worldview. The day I tried to escape... I couldn't. No one would help me. I tried! I did all of the things you're supposed to do. But it became quickly clear that no one intended to help me... and the guy... who I kissed and left behind... The woman on the crisis line was baiting me like I was trying to get with him... Telling me my "stories" matter (they are TRUE!)... Asking me who my "boyfriend" is... I. Am. Trying. To. Escape. This. Abusive. Asshole. Please. Help. Me. Nope. They asked if I would call the police if he made me feel unsafe. I said I would. I lied. I won't. I never did with my Mom, either. I fucked it all up. All of it. I did this to myself. This is obviously what I want. ... And I explained to my husband that I learned I'm a monogamous person. That this "open" and "poly" shit he's been into isn't... Me. I've been devoted to him, monogamously, for like ten years now. Well, the same day... The lady he's dating tells him she's also monogamous. So he goes on a rampage because he's been rejected by both of the women in his life... for the same reasons and on the same day. Cue... Psycho shit. ... And yeah. I'm aware I'm posting this publicly. I'm aware he will read it. There is nothing in here that I haven't said to him directly first. ... So now my heart is broken because the man I gave all of myself to... is attacking in every possible way while our relationship is dying. He has started punching shit... and looks at me with murderous rage in his eyes. All I can think is... Fine... Kill me. Just do it. I won't fight back. Go ahead! I won't call for help anymore. I won't try. Just... Fucking do it already! ... I woke up today deep in my feelings. We let our old car go yesterday... I drove him around in that damn thing until it literally fell apart. It was like watching a chapter of my life burn to the ground. People wonder... Why stay in a relationship with someone who hurts you and enjoys it? Love. Duty. Seeing that they love you more when you're what they want you to be. Trying to be worthy of that love. Trying to be a person who deseves the Love they withhold. ... "I'm not abusing you." he said. Weird. That's exactly what my Mom used to say. ... I will NEVER again be the sad pathetic woman wrapped around a suitcase crying in the pouring rain because she thinks she's going to escape and people in charge of helping will help her... I will NEVER try to get help again. Ever. I'm going to be the big brave badass who can take hits and keep coming back for more. The truth is... I'm fucking pathetic and it isn't sexy or cute or fun. But at least it's REAL. And a broken heart means I have a heart to break... (and if you don't believe me... Fuck you! I've taken audio of how my husband treats me. Its illegal wiretapping... But I need to know it's Fucking REAL. I need to know it's REAL.)