#SNK angst

[daemontargaryenwhore]

He couldn't afford to lose another kid knowing he's going to lose one just for the battle to end.

[leviraaaaaa]

Farewell, Captain. (Levi Ackerman x injured!reader)

Cw: mentions of blood.

Summary: Levi Ackerman finds you in the verge of death.

-

It was going to rain

You bit down on your lip in worry. This was bad.

The expedition was supposed to be a small, short one. Just to catch a new titan or two for Hange's experiments. Go out, catch them, come back.

It was a small squad, about 15 people only. Section Commander Hange had picked out only a few to accompany. Being Levi's second, and one of the most treasured soldier in the military, usually they wouldn't call you for such simple tasks. The only reason you were asked to tag along was because you were also section commander Hange's assistant, you helped them in conducting the titan experiments. You didn't really mind as you had nothing better to do anyways. And by now, these small expeditions doesn't scare you as much as they used to.

You were ranked at the rear of the formation, along with two more. On one side, Sasha rode besides you, deeply focused. Captain Levi had, for some reason ordered her to come as well, to your joy (Though you suspected it was more of a punishment to stop her from stealing food, since banning her from meals only made the problem worse). You were glad hearing your best friend's coming too as the journey would be far less boring, although Sasha wasn't too enthusiastic. She kept groaning about how hungry she was and how she'd have to wait a couple more hours before she gets some food. (Irritated also because captain Levi had stripped her out of all hidden snacks before setting out.)

On the other side of you were a new recruit. She was in Section Commander Hange's squad, recruited because of her apparent brains in therotical knowledge. But Hange wanted her to have a bit of experience on the outside world too, so there she was. First ever expedition. Poor thing was shaking like a leaf.

Two nights ago, the special operations squad was sent out to clear the area out of any titans, baiting them towards where the trap was set along the South-East abandoned Tsuchou town. So the route was expected to be safe. And though precautions were taken, you and your teammates were much more relaxed, as you rode along, joking and laughing.

Except the new girl. She'd been rigid as stone since you've set out.

Suddenly, the girl closed the distance between you, pulling her horse so near, your legs almost touched. You looked at her, surprised. She'd been keeping noticable distance from you and Sasha until now.

"It's... it's going to rain, won't it?" She muttered quietly, glancing at you from the corner of her eyes.

You looked up and nodded, eyes shifting to the sky. "It appears so, yes."

"How long are we going to go on for?"

"Just a little further. We should be by the traps in about an hour."

The girl's shoulders visibly sunk, her face falling. "Another hour?"

"Hey," you called out softly, noticing the fear in her body language. She looked pitiful. "It's going to be fine. I know exactly what you must feel like but I promise you nothing's going to go wrong today. It's just a short trip, so hang on okay?"

Sasha shot an encouraging smile to her following your words.

She pursed her lips, giving a tight nod. Her hands gripped the reins tighter.

"I know..it's just..it feels so wrong." She whispered. "The sky was fine when we came out, then it turned dark within moments."

You understood. It really had been a good day. Or so it had seemed when the expedition began. Bright blue sky without a single cloud. Then half an hour in, it turned dark, thick black clouds appearing out of nowhere. And wind was blowing so heavy you could barely keep your eyes open, the dust that was getting kicked up by the horses kept flying into them.

It did feel wrong.

You thought about it for a second as you watched the girl gradually shifting further, regaining the distance. Her eyes unfocused, a worried expression settled.

"Sash, think I'm gonna go ahead." You told Sasha.

Sasha immediately started shaking her head but she barely had time to got any words out before you squeezed the horse's sides, telling her to speed up. She did, hooves clashing against the ground, leaving small clouds of dust. You passed through your comrades, ignoring their side eyes.

Breaking ranks was absolutely unpermitted unless in life threatening situations. But when you're favoured by the higher ups and second to none but Levi Ackerman, you get a lot of free passes and unspoken privileges—which, needless to point out, you abused whenever you could.

You speedened up until the familiar figure caught your eye. Nudging your horse, you manurvered it towards him, catching up to him in moments

Levi glanced at you sideways with narrowed eyes, annoyance flashing through his features at your appearance.

"Tch." He clicked his tongue. "Why the hell did you leave your post? Just because it's not an actual expedition doesn't mean-"

"Yeah, yeah" You cut him off, not in the mood for a lecture. Levi's eye twitched, but he didn't say anything. He never did.

If it was anyone else but you, Levi would have taught you a lesson right there. And if it was anyone but Levi, you would for sure at the very least be demoted for speaking in such tone. But though none of you would admit it, the relationship between you and Levi were much casual than it should be between a commanding officer and a soldier.

"It's going to rain, captain." You pointed towards the sky. "I don't like this. Can't we camp out or something? We've cleared out the area two nights ago anyways, there shouldn't be titans around. It'll be safe and we can continue later."

Levi sighed. "Tell that to four-eyes. I tried. They won't listen to me. Keeps saying, 'its not much further'."

You grimaced. When it came to titans, section commander Hange lost all rationality. "It won't be a light rain either. Looks like a fucking storm is coming."

Levi nodded in agreement. "I'll see what I can do." He huffed "You don't have to worry about it. "

"I'll be hella pissed if I get drenched, I swear."

"No one asked. And go back to your damn post, you little pest." He finished sharply, giving you a warning glance.

You obligated, even you knew when to step back. Pulling down on the reins, you slowed your horse down, turning it around to go back to your original spot. Sasha and the new recruit were staring wide eyed.

"You really need to stop doing that. One of these days, captain Levi will just go batshit on you." Sasha shook her head, a grin on her face.

"We'll see." You snorted.

"Seriously, I don't even know why he lets you screw around like this, if it was any of us-"

"Did you ask him about the rain?" The rookies high pitched voice cut Sasha off. She was staring at you, face contorted in anticipation.

"Yeah, kid." You responded gloomily. "Don't think they'll stop unless it actually starts raining."

She didn't say anything, just looked away, distancing herself with her horse again, knuckles taut on the reins.

"She's just scared." Sasha muttered, glancing at her.

"Weren't we all?"

"Don't remind me." She shuddered at the reminder of our first expedition—the one where more than half of us were massacred by the female titan.

You watched the sky with squinted eyes, as the clouds had covered the last rays of the sun, creating an eerie dark ambience, even making you shift warily in your position.

The kid was right, it felt wrong.

Somewhere far away, thunder rolled. Once. Twice. The rumbling sound was almost deafening.

That's when the first drop of rain hit your face. It rolled down your cheek and fell on the ground.

And then the sky crashed down upon the earth.

A curse escaped your lips, completely unprepared for the sudden phenomenon. Surprised yelps from others joined yours. Hastily, you wrapped your cloak around yourself tightly to regain some warmth that you lost.

Oh dear. This was definitely bad .

Within seconds, the world was white. You couldn't see anything. Only faint outlines and blurred green. Somewhere far front, you heard Hange groan and Moblit screaming out to move out to far right to the forest to take shelter underneath the trees.

Despite being half blind, you followed the orders, pulling the reins. You felt the thuds of Sasha's and the new recruits horses match yours.

Then Sasha gasped.

She hissed out your name, her voice terrified.

"Titans." She whispered.

Your heart fell. No.

"What?" You yelled out, praying to God you heard wrong.

"I can hear titans!" Sasha said louder this time, the panic in her tone clear. "From everywhere!"

Damn Sasha and her extraordinary hearing abilities.

"Shit. Shit shit shit!" You cursed out. Why? How? The area was supposed to be clear. Why were they swarming on you then?!

"We have to let the others know!"

"How!? The rain is too thick and loud for the signal guns to be seen or heard! Hell, we probably won't even hear titans come up until they're breathing down our damn necks!" You were losing your cool, the panic settling in.

Scouts did not go out in expeditions when it rained. It was a rule. Never.

But here the fuck you were.

You heard the rookie whimper right beside your ear. Your head turned to see her almost over your shoulders, eyes wide with terror as she heard the conversation, eyes switching from Sasha to you.

"It'll be fine." You said to her, trying to calm down for her sake. But you knew as well, the chances of it being fine was next to fucking zero because Sasha's ears were too fucking accurate. "It'll be fine, just stick close to me-"

The terrified yelps of several people up front cut you off and your blood froze.

A huge, enormous figure standing before you, staring down with wide, hungry eyes. A creepy smile on its face.

You stilled, right there. Your breathing stopped.

No no no.

Not here.

Your horse reacted before you processed it, throwing itself to the side just as the titans feet slammed against the ground just where you've been, sending tremors down the earth. It's grubby hand swooshed over your head.

The mount flailed wildly as you tried to keep balance. You were about to whip the reins and get the hell out of there when another cry pierced through your bones.

From much, much close.

The rookie.

You whipped your head to see the girl running the exact fucking opposite way, the titan following right behind with big, heavy thuds.

You didn't even care where Sasha might be.

She was experienced, she'd be fine.

The kid won't be fine.

In a split second decision, you turned your mount around, grabbing it's neck as it charged in full speed following the titan, speedily crossing it.

You were going in the forest.

Not the wisest decision you've made because you still couldn't see anything except for the outline of the titan behind you, you could crash into a tree any second.

But fuck.

"Hey, you moron! Come back here!" You yelled out to her in frustration and desperation. She didn't even turn around, only speedened up. "That's the wrong fucking way! Turn around!"

You moved, fast as the wind, raindrops stabbing your face like tiny little frost needles, making you wince.

You entered the forest, deeper, deeper.

This was bad.

And then it got worse.

It was the red that caught your eyes. The type of red you could recognize anywhere.

Blood was splattered all across the ground, the rainwater washing it away.

Oh no no no.

The crunch of human bones jolted you awake as you looked up to see the titan that had been the cause of it. You stared. Stared. Stared as it stared back at you.

You looked down, right there on the foot of it, rolling around was the detached head of the girl.

You gazed back up.

And then you saw two more. Slowly, steadily coming out of the forest, disturbingly enlarged organs swinging with every steps.

3 titans in front. 1 in the back.

What have you done.

You had barely turned your gear switch on when the first titan struck, stomping down your horse. Just in time, with the gap of a second from being smashed, you pressed on the triggers, the wires shooting forward, planting to whatever surface they had found and pulling you with it.

It was reckless. Stupid. Using ODM gear when you couldn't see shit. But you were in a forest so hopefully it'll randomly latch onto trees. Or it could fucking slip because of the rain and you could die. But you took your chance, not that you had a choice.

One of the advantages titans had was that they could see clearly in the rain. Their enormous pupils followed your movements, hands reaching out to grab you. You twisted just in time, releasing the wires and shooting them again, using them to swing yourself further and faster.

And you did that. Every time the wires shot out, your heart caught in your throat thinking it'd miss and find nothing to latch onto but fate must've had your back because it didn't.

Until it did.

Perhaps it was the stupid rush of confidence you gained from moving so perfectly, that you had speedened up. That was the downfall. Though one had latched, the other anchor slipped, missing the branch and instead going over it. The moment you realized it, you knew it was over.

The momentum from before and the pull of the wires, you slammed against the trees, hitting your head so hard, you felt your skull crack, the pain ripping through your brain. The anchor that had latched onto the tree didn't bury itself properly and you clashed right against it. The metal hook went straight through your shoulders. And nothing could ever have prepared you for the agony that panged through.

You dropped, back clashing against the ground. You lied there, sprawled and bleeding out, the rain pooling in your eyes, blurrying your already hazy vision from hitting your head so hard. But you watched the titans surround you, an almost giddy look crossing their stupid expressions.

Those little fuckers.

And so you watched, helplessly, as one of them reached out, pulling you up by your legs, your head dangling upside down.

And all you saw was big wide eyes and gaped jaws.

One of the other reached out, wrapping it's fat fingers around your midsections, pulling you towards itself. The one holding you groaned, pulling you back, as if it didn't really want to share. Your abdominal muscles and organs strech to the point you thought you'd split in half.

What a shit way to die, you thought.

You survived Shiganshina, you survived Trost, you survived that damn 57th expedition.

And you were going to die here.

Alone.

While four fucking ugly as hell titans fought about who got to eat you.

'Second to none but Levi Ackerman', your ass.

But your friends, you thought. Eren had yet so much to go, that you won't be there to see. Before you left, when you've said goodbye to Connie and Jean, you smacked both of them in the head, that wasn't a good farewell, was it? Sasha would go hungry during meals because you won't be there to share half your food.

You wondered if captain would be the slightest bit of sad.

Had he noticed you missing by now? Would he miss the little banters and bickerings you had every day with him? Would he be disappointed that you were going out in such a lame way?

You closed your eyes, dangling upside down was not helping your case. Your head was starting to get empty as you felt the blood pool down in your head.

That's good. At least you won't be conscious while you die.

It won't hurt.

One.

Two.

Three.

Four. Five. Six. Seven....one,five, four? Ticktocktickticktocktick-

Then you fell.

It wasn't a gentle drop You hit the ground again, full force. And this time you felt your leg bend awkwardly, a bone snapped.

But it didn't hurt, not really. You were too numb by now.

You felt the ground shook as something heavy impacted. Four times. Followed by loud, gutteral animalistic growls of a titan.

Thud. Thud. Thud. Thud.

One. Two. Three. Four.

But it was the sharp metallic sound of a sword clanging was what woke you up.

Your eyes opened and you saw steam.

Ah. Were the titans dead?

But who killed them?

Your head turned sheepishly and you found the answer.

There was Levi, staring at you with wide, wide eyes, mouth slightly parted. His swords were discarded by his side and he just stood there. Was his hands shaking?

Oh, that's funny. That's the first ever time you've seen captain react that much. He looked funny with such big eyes. Was it because of how filthy you were? You couldn't see yourself, but you knew. You must've been caked in blood and mud. Is that why captain was so shocked?

Your mind was so fuzzy, you wanted to go to sleep. Would the captain mind if you fell asleep here? In this filth?

Levi finally registered the sight. He shifted, still in a daze, and then he dropped, straddling you. Careful enough to not let any of his body weight touch you.

He looked so scared.

"Shit." He muttered. "Shit. Shit, shit, shit. Oi brat—" His hands closed around your arms, shaking you. Your brain felt as if it rattled in your head. "Fuck–can you hear me?"

His hand pressed against your face and he flinched at how cold you were. You only stared at him through half-lidded eyes.

Then, weakly, with all you had, you parted your lips, the words barely audible.

"...welcome to the party, captain. Bit late though I'm afraid." You mumbled. "You do realize shaking me doesn't actually help, don't you? Unless you want me to throw up or something."

Levi felt his heart hitch.

"You little shit–" he took a sharp breath. Then slowly, carefully, he slightly shifted you holding your hair back to inspect how bad the damage was, and it wasn't a pretty sight.

"I'm a goner, aren't I?" you muttered quietly, wincing when one of his fingers accidentally grazed against the injury. Levi immediately pulled his hand back, his hand stained red.

"Shut up." He hissed, trying to keep his growing anxiety from showing. "You're bleeding like shit. Thats way too much blood."

"I'm aware, can't help it." you groaned when your leg moved a bit too much, "Got it on your clothes too."

"I could care fuck less about it right now, you dumbfuck." Levi snapped out. The he shifted off of you, kneeling beside. He unhooked the green cloak around him with fast fingers. The green surface was smeared with dark red in places.

Carefully, he pulled you up by the shoulders, cradling you against his chest. You almost cried at the sudden feeling of warmth, and the sharp wave of pain that shot through your bent leg. Tears stinged your eyes. "Bite me. I knew you cared." You joked, an attempt to lighten the dire situation and to ignore the way your whole body ached and how you already felt the lack of oxygen in the air. Levi let out an irritated breath as he used the cloak to wrap around your head to stop the bleeding. His breathing loud and heavy beside your ear. "Can you shut up, you ungrateful brat? I'm trying to save your damn life."

Levi worked so gently, it was unfamiliar. You wondered as your head rested on his shoulder and his hands worked around you, every movement slow and careful, trying his best not to hurt you more.

Ah, so even the harsh captain can be this gentle. And despite emptiness clouding your head, you felt slightly glad. At least you got to see this side of him. This is a nice way to die.

As if he had somehow heard your thoughts, his jaw tightened. "Don't even think about dying. That's a fucking order."

If only the world worked like that.

Levi knew he wasn't doing a good job. His hands shook too much, and it was causing you unnecessary pain. He froze everytime you winced, taking a few seconds until you stilled, then continuing. He was also aware of how dirty the fabric was, with dirt and mud, but this'd have to. It's either this or watching you bleed out to death.

"Okay," he whispered quietly under his breath, more to reassure himself than you. He turned you so he could see your face. An absolutely panic stricken look passes him when he sees the tears. "Fuck, Did I hurt you too much? Does it still hurt?"

You sniffled, mouth twitching to a grin. You tried to ignore the pounding in your head. "It's not your fault. You didn't do anything."

Levi nodded, his eyes shifting to your shoulder. "How the fuck did this even happen?" He hissed sharply, seeing the metal anchor buried deep in the flesh. "Even when you get injured, it's in the stupidest ways possible." He thought about it for a second, biting the insides of his cheek. Unsure what to do. Then he sighed. "Shit. It's best to let it stay there. If I try to pull it out, might accidentally tear something. And the bleeding would be too much to handle."

"Nice." You groaned, then all of a sudden, broke into a fit of coughs, blood spilling out with each jolt. Levi's eyes widened at the sight, pupils blown out.

"The titans." You coughed, trying to explain. "Must've fucked up my insides. The grip was too tight."

Levi frustratedly ran a hand through his hair, uncaring of the grime and filth. His face screwed up and eyebrows knitted together, the fear in his eyes wide and clear. Internal bleeding was much, much concerning.

"Captain," the word was a groan. Your eyes were so heavy, begging to go to rest. Would that be so bad? "...I don't think I can make this one out. I'm dying, aren't I?"

"No you're not. But if you don't stop talking, I might actually make you a goner." Levi deadpanned while going over your leg. You snorted, the slight action paining you. But it was nice. With him fussing over.

"Come on, we gotta get you back-hey–" he slapped your cheek, seeing your eyes flutter. Gentle but sharp. "Don't pass out, kid. Better keep those damn eyes open. Stay awake. Stay the fuck awake, you hear me?"

His fingers fiddled with your uniform straps, removing the gas tanks and the overall gears. He had to cut down the wire that stuck with hook that was latched to your shoulder since he couldn't take it out. The removal of the extra weight made you feel slightly better.

"Alright," Cautiously, he hooked one arm over your shoulder, the other under your knees. "Brace yourself, this is going to hurt as fuck." Then, though carefully, with one sweep pull, he picked you up. And despite his warning, and the mental preparation, he was right. It hurt like shit. A soft cry escaped your lips. "I'm sorry, just–just hang on." He mumbled, cradling you close to him, adjusting your head so that it rested against his shoulder. He knew it wasn't the most ideal position as it'd be hard for him to move with ODM while holding you like this, not to mention your leg would not probably be in the best state either. But he couldn't think of a better position, your head needed support, he couldn't let any weight on your abdominal muscles either.

Then without moving his arms from beneath you, he reached for the ODM triggers with his hands and pressed his fingers down.

The takeoff was the final push. The jolt as he kicked off the ground and the pain that followed right after was the limit. You knew you were going to die.

"You pretend like you don't give two shits, but you're going to miss me once I'm gone aren't you?" The words escaped you without thinking. You weren't really thinking at all, it's just this urge that took over. But if you're going to die, you wanted to keep talking. You wanted to hear his voice. You wanted him to scowl and snap at you to shut up. So until you can't, you wanted to keep talking. One last bicker. Never in your life had you thought he'd be the one to hear your last words or that his ones would be the last you'd hear. And you didn't mind. At all.

"Fuck off." He responded coldly.

"I'm serious."

"You're serious? Now that's a shocker."

There he went, from one tree to another. You grinned, looking up at his contorted face. He was trying so hard not to panic, his eyes flicking from you to the route.

"Captain."

"Can't you just keep your mouth shut for once in your fucking life?"

"Said life's on the verge of death, so I'd rather not."

"Stop saying shit like that. You're not dying on me."

You sighed. He was wrong. You were indeed dying on him. Despite the warmth of his body pressed against you, you could feel your own temperature lowering dangerously. The cloak he had used as a makeshift bandage to stop the bleeding weren't helping much better either as you felt blood trickle over your eyes. You felt weak, dizzy, disassociated. You could barely remember where you are and where you're going.

"Captain. Thank you for choosing me."

"What?" Levi's eyes shifted towards you, surprised and confused. It was such a strange sight. The bangs he so carefully kept were now all messy and disheveled, some strands sticking to his face with sweat. You returned his silvery gaze.

"Thank you for choosing me. Letting me be a part of your squad. Saving my ass everytime I fucked up. For everything, really. You weren't the nicest, but you have a good heart. And I'm not the best at expressing gratitude but I had to let you know."

"Shut up." Levi hissed through gritted teeth, his voice cracked ever so slightly. The rain had lessened into a drizzle.

"Once I'm gone, there won't be anyone to nag you to go to sleep. Remember to take breaks, won't you?"

Levi wouldn't look at you. He couldn't look at you. But his hold tightened. "Shut the fuck up. Keep talking and I'll drop you." Oh, but you had to keep talking. Your breaths were numbered you could tell. And you wanted to spend them on talking.

"And hydrate. Don't drink too much tea. Stop being mean to Hange and Eren. Let Sasha eat, don't ban her from meals when she fucks up.." the words slurred, your voice becoming quieter with every words and each were punctuated with heavy and heavier gasps. Your eyes closed. The light was too bright for you. And blood was pooling inside your mouth, choking you. "..they care for you. I hope you know that. So be nice every once a while. It won't kill you I swear."

Levi sucked in a breath. "Oi, brat." His voice was so far, so far away. You wanted to reach out and hold on to it, somehow wrap yourself around it. So unlike the usual stoic and dry comments he'd send through your way.. "...I take it back. Don't shut up. Keep talking. Keep blabbering whatever the fuck- Don't die on me, not like this–shit–not like this—" Guess he did care after all. "—stay with me, come on, stay with me.–"

You were fading. Drowning. Floating. But you heard him. His words a broken record, repeating over and over in your brain—staywithmestaywithmestaywithme…

You apologized silently. You would if you could. But the air was choking you and you couldn't stay any longer. You'd stay with his mean ass for life if you had the choice, didn't he know? Didn't he know you dedicated your heart for him?

Oh. Time's out.

Goodbye.

Captain.

(might write a part 2 lol)

[seeingivy]

daylight

eren x f!reader

**part of my method acting series

an: someone on ao3 requested so lowkey I had to do it again

--

“Hey? Are you going to wear the blue or the green?” 

Eren’s voice is distant, but out of extra precaution, you still slam the lid of the toilet shut, shaky hands pulling the lever as you push up off your knees. You close the door shut behind you, quick to spray the room with the closest perfume as Eren walks in, his hair still damp from his shower, the drops glistening on his bare neck. 

“Green, Eren. Why?” 

“I was going to iron it for you. Are you feeling any better, sweetheart?” Eren asks, as he sniffs the air. 

You shake your head, washing your hands in the sink as Eren loops his arms around your waist, leaning down as he rests his cheek against yours. You try to swallow down the disgusting taste of bile and give him a smile in the mirror, trying to focus on the sweet smell of his shampoo instead. 

“No.” you respond. 

“Are you trying to hide that fact that you threw up, again, by spraying a bunch of my perfume?” Eren asks. 

“I’ll buy you a new one.” you respond. 

Eren rolls his eyes. 

“I don’t know what I should be more offended about. That you feel like you can’t tell me you’re not feeling well or that you think I care more about the perfume than you.” Eren responds. 

You look at Eren in the mirror, turning to the side to press a kiss to his cheek. 

“I’m sorry. I just want to make sure that you go to the party and have fun. I don’t want you to worry about me.” you respond. 

You take a beat. 

“And I mean, Sukuna would take ten years off of my life if I didn’t come to Grace’s birthday party, so I’m going to go anyway. I know that she’s been looking forward to this.” you respond. 

It had been two weeks since Grace realized. And three since you saw her, because you were in New York attending Falco’s Madison Square Garden shows. 

Since Grace was born, she always had a penchant for theatrics. Doing little fashion shows for Sukuna and Lana, making choreographed dances with Teddy, and most of all – performing all of her favorite songs for everyone at dinner. 

And it was all well and good, because Grace had yet to realize that her Auntie Y/N was the same person as her favorite singer-songwriter Y/N L/N. She had only ever heard them all refer to you by your first name and she preferred all of your older songs – which let it basically slide under the radar, since those were so long ago. 

You all decided it would be for the best to let her figure it out on her own. Which she did, when she watched an old performance of you and Eren singing New Year’s Day and was able to recognize Eren right away. Almost every day for the past three weeks, you’d get three phone calls – two from Sukuna and one from Lana – begging you to come back as fast as you could, because she was getting antsy. 

“I mean, that’s true. She even prepared a little dance for you. But if you don’t feel well, I don’t want you to push through it just to go to the party. You can always see her when you’re feeling better.” Eren adds. 

“No, no. It’s fine.” 

Eren reaches for the bottom drawer, pulling out one of the boxes at the bottom, and places it in front of you. He’s quick with it – digging through the box for one of the white, lacy ribbons – and sets it out. 

It had been years since you even wore one. 

“Eren.” 

“You know she’s going to want to see you wear it.” he responds. 

You sigh, giving Eren a nod, as he gives you a smile. You turn around, Eren’s hands soft through the strands of your hair as he brushes through the knots. He laces the ribbon in through your hair, a well seasoned professional at this point, as you slide the stacks of rings on your fingers. 

“Can you believe Grace’s turning four?” Eren whispers. 

Eren gives your head a little tap, signaling for you to turn around, as you reach up and wrap your fingers together behind his neck. 

This would be the perfect time to mention it. The perfect segway into telling him that you’ve thrown up three times in a row, that you’re craving weird things, and that your period is two weeks late. 

“No. I can’t even believe that Teddy’s almost eleven. I feel like all the kids are growing up.” you respond. 

You choke. 

Eren gives you a bright smile, before leaning down and pressing a kiss to your cheek. 

“Doesn’t that make you nervous?” Eren asks. 

You pause. 

“Make me nervous?” 

“I mean, about Teddy. Being eleven. He’s obviously not our kid, but…” 

“He’s your godson. And you were there when he was growing up. You do know it’s fine if you feel that way right?” 

Eren sighs. 

“He’s going to go to middle school. Aren’t kids in middle school like…evil?” 

You glare at him. 

“You didn’t even go to middle school. How would you know?” you deadpan. 

Eren rolls his eyes. 

“But you did. And you hated it, so.” Eren responds. 

You shake your head, reaching forward to push through the ends of his hair. Eren was letting it get close to the longer side, for an upcoming role that he had. 

“I didn’t hate it. Sometimes, I get really nostalgic about all that stuff. Like the first day of school  was always exciting and eating breakfast with Falco and Colt every morning was fun. We used to take a picture with one of those corny chalkboards every year.” you murmur. 

Eren sighs. 

“I know, I’ve seen the pictures. But I guess it’s just weird to think about him getting older and…and all the stuff that comes with that. What if he gets a girlfriend? What if she breaks his heart or something?” Eren whispers. 

“You don’t have to be so cynical. They could just have a whole like twenty year love story or something. I don’t know, I think that type of stuff is cool.” you respond. 

Eren smiles. 

“Give me a second to iron and then you can get dressed. I’m just glad we don’t have to worry about that thing right now.” Eren responds, giving you one kiss on the cheek, before pacing out of the room. 

You reach for the closest drawer, pulling open the pack of your birth control, and counting backwards again, for the fifth time. 

You were still two weeks late. 

And that was something Eren’s glad he didn’t have to worry about. 

--

Grace’s birthday party is in full flesh by the time that the two of you arrive, with Sukuna very aggressively managing a pinata with a group of children around him, and Lana refilling drinks at the table. 

Though at the sight of the two of you, they both drop everything they’re doing, both stalking over to where the two of you are standing at the door. Eren squeezes your hand as they walk up, excited smiles on both of their faces. 

You already know what this is about. 

“Don’t look too excited, Sukuna. I might get confused and think you’re happy to see me.” you joke. 

Sukuna rolls his eyes, as Lana leans forward, giving you a kiss on the cheek. Her hands are soft on your cheeks, giving you a little pinch as she leans forward. 

“You’re like glowing. What gives?” 

“What?” 

“You look amazing. All full in the face, it’s adorable.” Lana responds. 

That’s what you thought about her when she was pregnant with Grace. Eren looks down, eyes almost curious, as you shake your head. 

“Oh. No, I’m actually like…like really nauseous. Super bloated. It’s kind of disgusting.” 

Lana frowns. 

“Oh, ew. Okay, well, are you feeling up to seeing Grace? She’s really excited.” Lana responds. 

“You can’t say no.” Sukuna adds. 

You smile. 

“I’ll always feel up to that. Where is she?” 

“She was just using the bathroom. I think she’s inside.” 

Lana and Eren walk in step in front of you, Sukuna trailing at your side, as you walk into the cold air conditioned room of the house. Sukuna gives you a nudge in the side, eyes narrowed as he looks at you. You shake him off as you speed up to Eren and Lana. 

You knew that Sukuna would one, be able to figure out that you were hiding something, and two, get it out of you. 

And he would want you to tell Eren right away, make up some whole long winded story about how you needed to be honest with him, that no one’s ever really ready for kids, that you had been married for so long and such. 

You catch sight of Grace immediately, pink hair sticking out of the crowd as she tries to reach lemonade out of her grasp on the counter. Eren beats her to it, lifting the glass off the ledge and crouching down to hand it to her, which almost distracts her completely. 

“Eren!” 

You watch as Grace all but jumps up into Eren’s arms, tiny little arms curled around his neck as he returns the gesture – one of the sweetest smiles you’ve ever seen on his face as he lifts her up. Lana’s quick to join his side, her head nestled on his shoulder, as she reaches forward and fixes Gracie’s almost matted bangs. 

“That’s Uncle Eren.” Lana deadpans. 

Eren shakes his head. 

“You can call me Eren. But it’ll be our secret, so don’t tell…” 

Lana turns to you, rolling her eyes, as you walk up to the two of them, an almost nervous warmth in your throat as you tap her on the shoulder and muster your best smile for her. 

“Hi Gracie. Happy birthday, pretty girl.” 

At the sight of you she seems to get a little shy you suppose, because her cheeks turn bright red and she hides her face in Eren’s shoulder. Eren looks at you, his face nearly melting at the gesture, as he leans down, whispering in her ear. 

“Gracie. Aren’t you so excited to see, Y/N? Isn’t she so pretty?” 

She doesn’t respond, instead nodding against his shoulder, as he fights the urge to laugh. 

“You know that Y/N has a surprise for you?”

“She does?”

It’s enough to pique Grace’s curiosity, and maybe more importantly, enough to temper her nervousness – despite the fact that you’ve seen her almost every Friday since she was born, that she’s slept in her bed next to you multiple times – as she peeks her head out, bright brown eyes staring at yours as she expectantly waits for an answer. 

“Two things. First, I have this for you.” you start. 

You take the little gift-wrapped box out of your purse and hand it to Grace, who wastes no time in handing it right back to Lana to open. Lana’s gentle with the box, pulling out the little set of purple ribbons, and holding them out to her. Sukuna gives you a smile, almost entirely thankful, as you shake your head at him. 

It’s nothing. 

“These were mine. But I’m going to give them to you, to keep safe for me, okay?” 

Lana hands the bows over to Grace, who almost excitedly holds them close to her chest, as you lean forward and pinch at her cheek. That earns you a kiss on the cheek from Eren, who gestures for you to give her the next one. 

“The second thing.” 

You pause. 

“I know you like to listen to my music and sing it sometimes, so I was wondering if you wanted to sing a song with me? We can pick any song that you like.” 

Grace’s eyes go wide. 

“Really?” 

“Yeah. Any song you want, okay?” 

Grace ponders the thought, taking almost a minute of silence before she comes up with an answer. 

“I want to sing Death of a Bachelor.” 

“What?” Eren asks. 

You feel your throat dry and watch Eren’s face drop, in instant irritation. 

Of course she wanted to sing the one song that you wrote about Ricky. Or fake wrote about Ricky. 

You look up at Eren, who’s already shooting bullets into your face with his eyes. 

You can’t sing that, he mouths. 

You glare at him. 

It’s her birthday, you mouth back. 

You turn back to Grace, her eyes expectant as she waits, and you give her a peachy smile. 

“Sure thing. Do you want to sing it on the piano, Gracie?” 

Gracie pauses, before lifting one of her hands and beckoning you to come closer. You give Eren a weird look but oblige, the three of your heads almost pressed together in a circle – intentionally leaving Lana and Sukuna out – as she whispers. 

“Daddy told me to suggest that in front of Eren. But can we sing something else instead? I don’t really like that song.” 

You watch Eren’s eye twitch, as he all but hands you Grace, and stalks over to Sukuna. You watch Eren shove him once – and Sukuna laughing very gleefully – as you roll your eyes and focus back on Grace. 

“Did you find that funny?” you ask. 

“No. But Daddy’s never really funny. Mommy told us we should all pretend to laugh so we don’t hurt his feelings.” 

You watch as Sukuna’s face drops – and maybe more importantly, that Eren smiles and shoves Sukuna again. You turn to Eren, giving him a wink, before Gracie taps on your shoulder, and whispers in your ear. 

You give her a nod, as Lana, Eren, and Sukuna turn to you, waiting for an answer. 

“What are you singing?” Lana asks. 

You turn to Gracie, who shrugs. 

“You have to wait till we perform it, Mommy. That’s a secret.” 

--

Almost three hours later – and one very weird craving for peanut butter and spicy popcorn – the party died down to the very last of you all. You can see them all lingering downstairs from the guest bedrooms upstairs, Connie and Grace having a very animated conversation near the fireplace as he braids her hair and Eren and Teddy eating the leftover candy from the pinata. 

You can see Lana all the way on the right, getting ready to surprise Grace with a new baby acoustic guitar, as you press your forehead against the glass. And it takes all but three seconds before you hear quiet footsteps behind you. 

“What’s your problem?” Sukuna asks. 

You groan. 

“I’ve been sick for a few days. I was just taking a breather before I have to sing my little song with Gracie.” 

Sukuna hums in response and you watch the slow smile spread across his face at your side as he eyes Connie and Grace, before turning back to you. 

“Right. But besides your weird stomach bug. What’s your problem?” Sukuna asks. 

“I don’t have a problem.” 

“You keep staring at both of my kids with weird bug eyes. And you’re starting to kind of freak Teddy out.” 

“Really?” 

“No, but stop looking at him like that. You’re weirding me out.” 

You sigh, before turning over to him, and placing your hands flat on his shoulders. You squeeze as hard as you can – which Sukuna seems irritated at – as you lean closer to him. 

He would be the right person to tell. Maybe the only person who would ever give it to you straight. 

“If I tell you, will you promise not to tell anyone?” 

Sukuna gives you a theatrical nod, irritated, as he gestures for you to continue. 

“I think I’m pregnant. And I don’t know what I’m going to do. I’ve been throwing up for three days, my period is two weeks late, and I just ate the Takis in your pantry with peanut butter.” you state. 

Sukuna frowns. 

“You ate my food?”

You smack him. 

“Be serious. What am I supposed to do, Sukuna?” you whisper. 

“Are you a dipshit? Have the baby?” 

“I mean, yeah. Obviously, I’d have the baby, but like…it’s a whole thing. I don’t think Eren wants it.” 

Sukuna pauses. 

“I know we always joke that we’re like brother and sister, but I really wish we actually were right now so I could slap you without feeling bad about it.” 

You glare. 

“You really think Eren doesn’t want a baby? That he doesn’t want to have a baby with you?” Sukuna asks. 

“I mean, obviously he does. I’m his wife and all but that doesn’t mean he wants one right now.”

Sukuna glares.

“Earlier today, we were talking about how old Gracie is getting and how Teddy’s going to middle school. And he was saying that he was all nervous that Teddy was going to middle school and getting his heart broken and he was just…glad that we don’t have to worry about that right now. Having kids and worrying about getting their feelings hurt. That we don’t have that responsibility.”  

Sukuna sighs. 

“That doesn’t mean he doesn’t want to have kids with you. Or that he won’t be excited when you tell him.” 

You frown. 

“Doesn’t it? He’s scared. He’s glad that Teddy isn’t his son, since he’s not responsible for all that. And…I just…” 

Sukuna leans forward, placing both of his hands on your cheeks, before he squeezes so hard that you can barely get a word out. 

It was something that he did often. Obstruct you from talking so he didn’t have to hear your nonsense, in his very succinct words. 

“Did it ever occur to you that you’re projecting onto one small thing that Eren said because you’re scared to have a baby? He may have said that today, but you’ve clearly been having suspicions for at least a week. There was obviously a reason that you didn’t tell him the first second you realized.” 

You swallow hard. 

“Did you even take a test?” 

“No.” 

“Is it because you’re scared that it’s going to be positive? That you’ll really have to consider what to do after that?” 

You don’t respond. And that's enough of an answer for Sukuna. 

“Are you that really scared that you’re going to be a bad mom?” Sukuna asks. 

You pause. And maybe it’s hearing your exact fear being said out loud – from someone you love so much – that it sends tears sprouting into your eyes, and has him pulling you close, his hands rubbing up and down your back. 

“Eren’s just so good with kids. They all fucking adore him and…and I know they love me too, but it’s not the same. He’s going to be a natural. Teddy doesn’t love him for no reason and…and Olivia literally calls Eren almost every night.”

“Kids love you too. You know you’re like…my daughter’s idol, right?” 

You frown. 

“That doesn’t mean I’ll be a good mom. That doesn’t mean that I’ll be able to keep up with Eren. That I won’t let him…and my kids down.” 

Sukuna takes a beat, almost like he’s thinking, before he responds. 

“There’s nothing I can say to you that’ll convince you that Eren’s on board with this thing.” 

You frown. 

“I know.” 

“But you know those letters that Eren used to write? To the Institute about the triple threat thing?” 

You pause. 

“Yeah?” 

“Look for one from New Year’s Eve, maybe your twenty-second or twenty-third birthday. It should be one of those.” 

“What?” 

“Your answer to your stupid questions will be there. There’s no one better to tell you what you need to hear than him. And luckily enough for you, your dumbass doesn’t even have to ask him.” 

You reach up, wiping the snot from your nose, before looking up at him. 

“Really?” 

“Really.” 

“How do you know?” 

Sukuna pauses. 

“Lana told me what he wrote once. When we were talking about how sad he was. How much he loved you. Your answer will be right there, trust me.” 

Sukuna pauses. 

“And we used to make fun of him after the fact for how serious all of those letters was. He was fully unloading all of his feelings onto some poor intern.” 

You laugh, as Sukuna reaches forward, wiping the last of the wetness away from your cheeks, as he gives you one last tap on the head. 

“Now tell me what song you’re singing with my daughter. You’re both pissing me off.” 

You smile. 

“She wants me to sing Daylight. It’s her favorite because she knows it’s about her Mommy and Daddy.” 

Sukuna glares. 

“You didn’t even write that song. Eren did.” 

You shrug. 

“What she doesn’t know won’t hurt her.” 

Sukuna sends you home with a gift in your purse – a box of pregnancy tests – and gives you a very unserious ultimatum to tell him by Friday. 

--

When you get home, you all but bolt to the closet, digging out the little box of the letters that Eren had written, as he slowly trails behind, distracted as he washes his face in the sink nearby. You almost topple over trying to get the box, which catches Eren’s attention, as you try to hide it in the dark of the closet. 

“What are you doing?” 

“Nothing, Eren. Just looking for…something.” 

Eren pauses. 

“You’re looking for something? What is it?” 

You bite your cheek, ignoring the question as you file quickly through the letters, counting backwards to your twenty-second birthday. You quickly open up the letter, pulling it out of it’s envelope, as you glance over Eren’s messy handwriting in the dim light. 

Dear The Institute,  (Please tell me the name of your intern.)  You guys know those stupid posts that you guys make on your Twitter? Wishing happy birthday to all the past triple threats?  You should already be making one for Y/N. You’re years behind at this point, because she’s well and enough proved herself time and time again.  See: happiness  See: Attack on Titan Seasons 1-3 See: New Year’s Day See: any song she’s ever written, any show she’s ever acted in, any dance that she’s ever done  fsalfjdsklajfldafdsfs Plus, it’ll be a cool marketing thing in the future, when one of her children in the future is a triple threat. It’ll be a whole generation of triple threats.  Anyways, it’s her birthday. You will hear from me again next year.  Best,  Eren Jaeger 

Eren switches the light of the closet on, hovering over you before he joins you on the carpeted floor, as you look over at him, and hold out the paper to him. 

“Why are you reading these?” Eren asks. 

“What’s the part that you crossed out?” 

“Huh?” Eren asks. 

“There’s a part that you crossed out. What was it?” 

That had to be what Sukuna was talking about, because the line following right after was about children. 

Eren takes the letter from your hands, hiking his knees close to his chest as he reads it, and nods. 

“Oh, yeah. I wrote the part underneath basically, but I wrote something like it’ll be cool when our child becomes a triple threat, since at that point, we were both already Institute affiliated actors. And the statement insinuates that you would be a triple threat, so our kid and you being a triple threat would be cool. Since it would be generational or whatever.” Eren responds, handing it back to you. 

You pause. 

This was your time to ask. But you still don’t. 

“I erased it. It’s insane to say that you’re going to have a kid with your ex-girlfriend who hates you, obviously.” 

You laugh. 

“You used to think about that? I mean…do you still?” you ask. 

“I mean, I doubt they’re ever going to give you a triple threat now since they blacklisted you, but you know, who gives a fuck? Our kids don’t need a stupid fucking trophy to know that they’ll be talented or make something worthwhile. They’ll be great on their own.” 

You swallow hard. 

“You think about kids? Like…our kids?” 

Eren looks over at you. 

The premise itself sends a two dimpled smile on Eren's face as he leans against the drawers, gesturing for you to scoot closer to him in the cramped closet. 

“Are you crazy? Of course, I do. All the time, sweetheart.” 

“So you want kids? Because I think we might be having one right now and well, I’m not sure, but I was scared that you didn’t want it because things were good and all that stuff, but I wasn’t really I was just projection because I thought I was going to be a bad mom so I just figured that…” 

Eren cuts you off. 

“You think we’re having one right now?” 

You shrug. 

“You think we’re having a baby? Right now?” Eren asks again, waiting for clarification. 

“I haven’t had my period in two weeks.” you whisper. 

Eren’s eyes widen. 

“Y/N.” 

“I have a test. Sukuna gave it to me, I just have to do it.” 

Eren shoots up, almost yanking you up off the ground, as you reach for your purse, pulling out the little pink box. Eren parrots the instructions to you and you follow dutifully – peeing on the stick, pulling open the plastic – and placing it face down on the counter when you’re done. 

“We have to wait two minutes.” Eren whispers. 

Eren sets a timer and you both stand there in silence – staring down at the stick. Eren seems almost more nervous than you, hands itching as he keeps readjusting the way it’s sitting on the counter. 

“We should both turn around.” you murmur. 

“Yeah, yeah. Okay.” 

You and Eren turn your backs to the counter, nearly teetering on your heels as you interlock your fingers together, the two of you both shaking on the side. 

Eren squeezes your hand three times. And you do it back. 

“Should we call my mom?” 

“No. We shouldn’t call, Carla. She’s going to be sad if it’s not real.” 

“Falco? Gabi? Connie?” 

You squeeze his hand. 

“Eren. Falco and Gabi are sleeping. And Connie’s probably tired, you know he’s not feeling well lately.” 

Eren pauses. 

“Should I kiss you?” Eren asks. 

“What?” 

“I don’t know! I feel like my entire life is about to change and…and yours is too and I just want to kiss you.” 

You laugh. 

“You’re so weird. If you want to kiss me, just kiss me.” 

Eren leans over, placing a very quick kiss to your forehead. You can’t help but turn over and glare. 

“That was anti-climactic.” 

“I kissed you!” 

“I was expecting some big life changing kiss. You’re over here just kissing me on the forehead.” 

Eren rolls his eyes. 

“Just kissing you on the forehead? You love that.” 

You turn over to him, leaning forward to kiss him on the cheek. 

“Okay, okay fine. I do love that. And I do love you, that’s….that’s my big climactic moment before we check.” 

Eren smiles. 

“You love me?” he asks. 

You shove him. 

“Obviously I love you.” 

Eren grins. 

“I love you too. Is it time?” Eren asks. 

“Ten seconds.” you respond. 

Eren’s impatient – so impatient that he doesn’t wait for the last ten as he picks up the stick – looking down at the result. And he’s just as fast, dropping it onto the floor, and cupping the sides of your face as he leans forward, nearly throwing you off your balance as he presses his lips to yours. 

That can only mean one thing. 

Eren pulls back, voice shaking as he whispers against your lips, reaching forward to press three kisses to your face. 

“I’m having a baby.” Eren whispers. 

You can’t help but laugh as he leans his forehead against yours, noting the glisten in his eyes as you reach up, and place both of your hands on his cheek. 

That was your more than anti-climactic kiss – the one that Eren had to be referencing. You lean back, reaching forward to brush your thumbs over his dimples. 

“You mean, I’m having a baby.” you respond. 

“Yes. You, me, we…we’re having a baby.” 

You laugh, leaning forward as you return his first gesture of pulling him close, before wrapping your arms around him, and nestling yourself into the sweet smell of his soap and cologne mixed together. And you stand that way for some time, as you think about it all. 

Baby clothes. Names. Telling everyone. Fixing up the room at the end of the hall. Actually being pregnant with a baby inside your stomach. 

A baby that was already there right now. You look down, pressing your hand to your stomach, and nearly shivering. 

“When you were rambling earlier, about…about the baby, you said that you thought you were going to be a bad mom. Was that pregnancy nervousness or do you mean it?” Eren whispers. 

You forgot you even said that. 

“Maybe both. I was just scared to tell you. Or anyone, because…I don’t know. It kind of came out of nowhere.” 

“But do you think that? That you were going to be a bad mom?” 

You lean back, looking up at Eren, as you sigh. 

“Be honest.” Eren warns. 

“You’re just so good with kids. You, like objectively, have nothing to worry about.” you whisper. 

Eren rolls his eyes. 

“You think I don’t worry about this type of stuff? You know I’m scared shitless for this too, right?” 

You glare. 

“You’re scared that your kids are going to adore you like every other child in our life adores you?” 

Eren sighs. 

“Not that. I’m just…” 

You note that Eren’s face almost falls. And you reach forward, trying to sooth the smile lines back into his face. 

“I’m scared our kids will come out all…anxious and sad. That they’ll be all weird and twisty because I was like that as a kid. I used to cry all the time and I…I hated going out. I had panic attacks before I even knew what that meant.” 

You lean forward, placing your hand on his cheek. 

You almost forgot about that. 

“First of all, that wouldn’t be your fault. If that happened. It’s normal. We’d help them. It’s not something you…you just give to people, Eren. And you’re being silly. They could get that from me too. We were both like that at one point and…and it’s just a part of us. Us alone. Not them.” 

Eren sighs. 

“You know I’d die happy if our kids were like you?” Eren whispers. 

You laugh. 

“What?” 

“Maybe they won’t get that from you. Or from me. The sad twisty thing? But I hope they get everything else from you.” 

You lean forward and kiss the side of his cheek. 

“Your hair, your pretty eyes. Your laugh, your smile. God, I can’t even tell you how excited I am that there’s going to be a little you running around. With your horrible sense of humor, bad cooking skills probably, and...” 

You shove him. And Eren reaches forward, grabbing your hands as he lifts them up and places a kiss on the inside of both of your wrists. 

“Can you be a little gentle? You’re pregnant, you know?” 

“Gentle with what?” 

“Your wrists. You just pushed me and that was kind of hard.” 

You roll your eyes. 

“And what does that have to do with the baby? Or being pregnant?” 

Eren shrugs. 

“I don’t know. Take it easy. You could hurt her.” 

You pause. 

“Her?” 

“It’s a girl.” Eren responds. 

You roll your eyes. 

“Is not. It’s going to be a boy.” 

“You’ve been pregnant for three seconds. How do you even know?” Eren asks. 

You shove him again. Eren shoots you a warning glance, fingers soft on your wrists, as you fight from smiling at him fully. 

“I’m carrying our baby. Have been for a while now. I would know. It’s a boy.” 

Eren rolls his eyes. 

“Don’t insult Maya by calling her a boy.” 

You smile, remembering the names you and Eren had picked out almost ages ago, as Eren lifts your wrists and presses a kiss to them again. 

“Don’t insult Marco by calling her a girl.” you parrot back. 

“Stop shoving, sweetheart. That could have felt like an earthquake to her or something.” 

“Are you crazy? He probably isn’t even that big, right now. Or sentient, Eren.” you deadpan. 

Eren lifts his hand up, signaling for you to wait, as he reaches for his phone. You try to peer over but Eren leans it closer to his chest, giving you an antagonizing glare. 

“If your period is two weeks late, that means your last one was like…what…five weeks ago? Six? That means you're six weeks pregnant. And if you’re six weeks pregnant, that means the baby is as big as a pea.” 

“So?” 

“So our little sweet pea Maya could have felt that. You should take it easy. Let’s go lie down in bed. Do you want a massage?” 

You laugh as Eren all but places his hands on your waist, almost dragging you over to the bed. 

“Our little sweet pea?” 

“Y’know, like peas in a pod?” Eren asks. 

You roll your eyes. 

“Pea in a pod, Eren. It’s one baby, not two.” 

The statement ended up being insanely ironic when you looked back on it. And maybe a little sweet – because you and Eren both ended up being right. 

Marco and Maya were there with you the entire time.

--

an: anyways shits and giggles. eren totally calls maya his sweet pea btw. and calls marco and maya two peas in a pod. eren also writes never grow up about maya anyways..

taglist: @k0z3me @sugu-love @yihona-san06  @bsenpai @sweetenertea @mykyoon @violetmatcha  @rebeccawinters @cutiejg @bokutosthings @bookwrmm @mblrrr @wheredidmycrowngo @somethinginyoureyes7 @chilichopsticks @okaystopwhore @you-always-made-me-blush @itzmeme @firelordazulaaaa @whoami-72 @g-ghostly @intimacywithceline @erensmoodygf @cocomellxn @princess-ackerman @jaegerfiles @cacapeepee @rui-0836 @moonmalice @invisible-mori @sofiasber @bbybeeb @timetobegone @tee4str @ttokki2 @leave-rae-alone @ec3lipsy @officialsimpp @gojojang @yookayyo @lordbugs @multiplefandomthings @iobeyfandoms @ilo-uwu @justanotherkpopstanlol @mel-star636 @fvckingeetar r @ttalgi @najaemism @ilovekimchi123 @youraggedybitch @xoyumiqls @leafguitar @dreamy-carat @spiidergirlsworld @luvs4kim @levin4nami @florichun @hoonmyluv

[nectardaddy]

I'm rewatching aot and I like to make myself sad- here's some sad dating thoughts about levi I had :')

cw: death, major angst, this man does not mourn in a healthy way at all

He'd be mad at you if you died. He wouldn't cry, wouldn't ask himself why, he'd be pissed. How dare you die. How dare you leave him alone. How dare you for not being strong enough. How dare you rely on him for saving you. And how dare you for being in the wrong place at the wrong time.

He'd mourn for you in the most spiteful way possible. If you were lucky enough to have a grave, he would show up every day to complain. How dare you, of all people, add to his long list of deaths to weigh on him. He'd think you did it out of spite. One last way to annoy him as you exited the world.

He'd think of you whenever he tries to go to sleep, the bed being colder than normal and absolutely rage. Fuck you for leaving him. How dare you make his heart warm and then have the audacity to die.

After months of being enraged and angry, he'd eventually break down in solitude. Sobbing to his hearts content, then wipe his face like nothing ever happened. He would vow to never love again, fuck the thought of you wanting him to he happy. If this is what love felt like he didn't want any part of it anymore.

[sincerely-anascot]

Levi thought your long hair was impractical as a soldier in the Survey Corps. Even though you always kept it in a neat braided updo during training and expeditions, he doubts it’s an easy task. There’s also the fact that hair fall sounds like hell for a clean freak like him—he shivers imagining the shower drains after your turn.

He shuts up about it when he finally witnesses your skills with the ODM. You were a decent soldier at the HQ but an even better titan killer outside the walls.

He learns from someone(Hange) that you kept it that way since your mother adored your thick hair and taught you how to do all sorts of hair styles growing up. When she passed away after the fall of Wall Maria, your father learns to do your hair for you as you both grieve. It becomes a routine to commemorate your happy times. So, you go through the painstaking daily trouble of wrangling you hair with a brush and spending a good chunk of your hard-earned money on hair products. It’s all worth it when you get your leave to visit your father and he happily tells you he’s been practicing with the neighbors’ kids.

After the Battle of Trost, you had no more reason to keep your hair long anymore.

Levi catches you just as you motion to slide a knife across your hair. He admonishes you for being outside after curfew but then surprises you when he offers to cut your hair.

Just before he starts to slice away, he sees the hesitation in your eyes. You talk and explain why you kept your hair long after all these years and he pretends it’s his first time hearing the story. You break down and he does a very shit job at comforting you.

“When you braid your hair in the morning, will it remind you of their deaths or will it remind you of their love?” He asked you.

The question felt like a slap to the face when you realize the moments of peace when your parents did your hair was one of the happiest memories you had of them. And like a fool, you were about to rid of the only reminder of those times.

Years later, Levi would visit you with your favorite flowers at hand after the war.

He’d apologize if he didn’t have enough fingers to braid your hair anymore. But ruminates that you wouldn’t mind;

They buried you with your hair down after all.

[little-spoiled-brat]

it had been a few months since the rumbling ended. the peace that everybody worked hard for was finally achieved, making the sacrifices of friends that you’ve considered family, comrades, loved ones, all have meaning in the end. battle scars being proof that you survived.

levi had moved to marley after the war, he hasn’t been to paradis since then but today was the day he was finally going back. gabi, falco, and onyankopon helped him get ready to journey back to paradis for the day — making sure that he looked nice and up to his standards as he was reuniting with someone in a few hours. you.

once back at his homeland, gabi and falco took him to where the survey corps headquarters used to be. he was then greeted by his former subordinates as mikasa, armin, jean, and connie took over, wheeling their former captain around the area as they caught up on a few things whilst he was in marley.

“y/n has been waiting for you” mikasa mentioned as she walked alongside levi whilst jean pushed his wheelchair. the raven haired man hummed in reply, a smile making its way on his scarred face.

“at the spot?” levi questioned as they all nodded and he asked them to bring him to the usual spot where you would always meet — underneath the sakura tree, where you first met.

“should we leave you alone for a few minutes, captain?” armin asked as they stopped just a few feet away from the tree. levi nodded, thanking them as they left him to have his moment in reuniting with you. he wheeled himself over to the sakura tree, sighing contentedly at the sight of you as he looked up at the pink blossoming tree that you always loved.

“it’s been a while huh, brat? i’m sorry i couldn’t visit you sooner, boat trips to paradis are a pain in the ass to schedule back in marley” levi chuckled, carefully lowering himself off of his wheelchair and onto the ground as he started telling you stories and catching up with you about what happened over the last few months.

his hand grazed your headstone, tracing his fingers over the engravement on the stone of your name. the name of the person he will love until the end.

here lies y/n ackerman. a friend, a comrade, and a loving wife.

[freemilkshakesposts]

Bathing In The Rain

⚠️Warning ⚠️: Sexual content (18+) MDNI

Levi x Reader (Smut)

Summary: A Marley soldier and the captain of the Survey Corps, a love deemed forbidden, a passion that you once believed to be genuine—a lie, a fabrication, an illusion. How could you not have seen it for what it was? Yet, perhaps, when you encounter Levi beneath the rain's relentless downpour, the true essence of your relationship will be unveiled. In other words...outdoor smut in the rain.

The night unfurled in a wild dance of grey and silver, the heavens erupting in a primal deluge to drench the world below. Rain descended in relentless sheets, soaking everything in its path, an unstoppable force of nature. Thunder roared in the distance, a feral, beastly echo shattering the fragile stillness. But in this world, peace is an illusion. There is no such thing. There must always be chaos to balance the order, a perpetual disruption to maintain the façade of equilibrium.

Levi stood outside bathed in the raw splendour of the nocturnal storm, surrendering himself entirely to it.

The rain was merciless, each drop a sharp lance of cold against his skin, like arrows piercing St. Sebastian. But while Sebastian’s torment was divine, Levi's was an earthly baptism by storm.

The stinging rain was his punishment, embedding into his flesh, each droplet tracing his face with a crystalline touch. It slipped down his form like ghostly caresses, drenching his uniform, transforming the fabric into a darker, richer shade, while his dark hair clung to his forehead.

Yet, amidst the sting and the chill, there was a purity to the moment—a delicate, immaculate tableau. He stood in solitary watch, consumed by the storm’s relentless embrace.

"Levi," a voice called out, shattering the serenity of the moment, its barely audible murmur struggling against the storm's fury. "We need to talk."

He pivoted towards the voice, the rain continuing its onslaught, each drop slicing into his skin with the precision of tiny, cold blades. His gaze shifted, a nearly imperceptible softening in his eyes as he took in your disheveled state.

Your hair, plastered against your face in limp, damp strands, resembled wet seaweed. The drenched fabric of your shirt adhered to your form like a second skin, highlighting the curves of your breasts. Harsh creases marred your long, black coat, revealing the frailty of your soaked clothing underneath. You were utterly drenched, the rain's relentless, unyielding assault rendering you a sodden, vulnerable figure in the storm.

As you approached him, heavy droplets cascaded down your cheeks, blending seamlessly with the tears you fought to mask.

"Why did you come out here? Shit, look at you, completely soaked." His voice was low, edged with a chilling steel. "You might as well come inside to dry off; can't have you catching a cold." His grip tightened on your wet, cold shoulder, steering you towards the entrance with an unsettling calm.

You shoved him back instantly, your hand pressing firmly against his chest, eliciting a shuddered gasp from his throat.

“N-no,” you stammer, the quiver in your voice betraying the fortress of your resolve. You gasped internally, catching a glimpse of his eyes—eyes ablaze with a malevolent inferno, scorching your skin with their crimson heat. The raw power of his gaze almost consumes you, drawing you into submission. But then the cold rain, relentless and unforgiving, lashes at your face, a brutal reminder of the grim necessity of this act. Fuck it. You've bled and suffered, lost everything on this deranged quest for him, for this twisted mirage.

Drawing a deep breath, you force the truth up from the depths of your being. "Our whole relationship was nothing but a lie."

Levi's eyes narrowed, the rain beating down on his furrowed brow. "What are you talking about?"

It all became clear. The pieces had fallen into place: his sudden interest, the probing questions—questions you’d never answer to anyone else—and the frequent absences. Your heart tightened with the realisation that the man you had come to love had seen you as nothing more than a tool.

"You know exactly what I mean," you hiss, taking a deliberate step closer. "All this time, you've been using me, haven't you? Gathering intel, manipulating events—whatever fits your agenda. I'm nothing but a pawn for the Corps, a worthless rag for you just to squeeze dry for information on Marley."

The rain fell harder, each droplet crashing against the ground with such force it felt as though the world itself was convulsing, on the verge of disintegration, crumbling into a void.

Levi's gaze wavered, a flicker of something-guilt, regret?-crossing his features.

"I did what I had to do," he replied, his voice betraying a slight tremor as he struggled to maintain a veneer of control. "For the sake of humanity. For the mission."

You shook your head, the rain blending with your tears, searing your eyes with an almost exquisite agony. "Was any of it real then?" You asked, your voice trembling. "The nights we spent talking, the moments we shared...did your ever care for me, or was it all just a part of your elaborate scheme?"

The silence that followed was a deafening void, punctuated only by the storm's unyielding wrath. Rain hit against the trees with relentless brutality, flooding their limbs in a cascade of ruin, submerging the leaves in an unforgiving torrent. The once-refined petals of fragile blooms wept in mournful surrender, their fragile beauty annihilated, petal by petal.

Levi stepped forward, his hand extending to brush against your faintly reddened cheek. The chill of the air clung to his touch, an icy whisper that sent a shudder rippling through you, urging you to instinctively draw back.

"I never meant to hurt you," he murmured, his voice barely audible above the storm, tenderly tracing the contours of your face. "But this world... it doesn't allow for love. Not for people like us."

His words sliced through your chest like a precision-honed blade, extracting the vibrant, pulsing crimson of your heart until only void remains.

He's correct.

In this world, all that is beautiful is inevitably marred, unable to endure the unforgiving verities of our existence. This brutal equilibrium.

But inside, a primal urge festers—to be selfish, one last time. Selfish enough to annihilate that equilibrium. That's what you crave, what you deem necessary: obliterate the balance, reclaim and preserve that elusive beauty once more.

Without hesitation, you surged forward, seizing his cold, wind-battered face, pressing your lips to his in a desperate, punishing kiss.

He matched your intensity, his arms ensnaring you, yanking you closer.

The rain, now a relentless deluge, crashed over you, submerging your entwined forms on the sodden earth, both of you consumed by the downpour.

Your lips clashed, battled, and devoured each other with a ferocity so violent it was as if you were each other's last meal, a sacrificial communion.

You broke the kiss, gasping for breath, your eyes searching his. "Tell me this is real," you pleaded. "Tell me it wasn't all a lie."

Levi’s eyes softened, and for the first time you saw the man behind the soldier, the vulnerable soul beneath the hardened exterior. "This," he said, his voice quivering ever so slightly as his icy hands gripped yours, "this is real."

From those words something fractured deep within you, the final vestige of restraint, utterly incinerated.

Your shaky fingers wrestled with the buttons of his shirt, the rain turning the simple act into a battle against the elements. Frustration built within you, but Levi was there, his hands guiding yours with unspoken urgency, and soon his shirt lay discarded on the slick ground. In a swift motion, Levi began to yank the long coat from your shoulders. His hands slid beneath your own shirt, tearing at the buttons and pushing the fabric away, leaving you exposed to the relentless storm. As the cold air hit your skin, he shoved you against the wall, the icy stone biting into your back—a brutal contrast to the searing heat of his form.

His fingers began to glide along the curve of your spine with a soft touch, each touch a stroke of reverent artistry, like a painter spellbound by the sublime beauty of their subject, consumed by an all-encompassing need to possess it. As your body arched into his touch, the warmth of his mouth followed, tracing a burning path down your neck towards your chest. His lips found your left nipple, sucking gently, drawing soft gasps from you as his hand moved to massage your other breast, kneading it tenderly with each rhythmic pulse of his thumb.

It was clear that all semblance of propriety was swept away in the torrent.

He tore his mouth from your left nipple, lips now seeking yours again with an almost predatory hunger. The kiss that followed was desperate, devouring-his lips demanding, yours eager. It was a collision of mouths, breath mingling in a frantic exchange.

Your hands wandered without grace, pulling him closer, as if to meld into one being. A low groan escaped you, lost in the wet heat of the kiss, as his tongue probed beneath your teeth, slipping past your lips with audacious confidence. Fingers gripped your hips, digging in with a fierce possessiveness, as if this moment were the last chance to claim you. But then, he withdrew from the kiss, leaving only a thin, glistening strand of saliva bridging the distance between you both.

“Tell me you want this. Tell me,” he implored, his voice now laden with a desperate yearning that mirrored his pleading gaze.

This time you reassured him: an immediate breathless "Yes" slipping from your lips.

Levi suddenly swept you off the wall, causing you to gasp as he effortlessly spun you around, laying you gently on the damp grass. The cold ground stole the searing heat from your body, turning it into mist as you gazed up at the dark sky, breathless and captivated.

He moved to hover above you, his presence a cocoon of warmth that drew you inescapably into his orbit. Levi's eyes were dark and enigmatic, locking onto yours with a fierce intensity, a hunger that shattered any illusion of restraint. It was almost frightening, yet you couldn't deny that he was the very essence of seduction incarnate.

Rain clung to his lashes, falling onto your face like tiny, cool kisses. You were utterly enveloped by him, the sensation of wet mud against your skin fading into insignificance. In that moment, nothing existed but Levi.

His lips resumed their journey across your skin, each kiss upon your collarbone a jolt that stirred a ravenous need within. The cool droplets of water clinging to your flesh starkly contrasted with the searing heat of Levi's kisses, eliciting a sharp gasp from you. As his mouth wandered downward across your chest, his hands gripped your hips, steadying you. He knelt before you, his lips charting a slow, torturous path to the edge of your abdomen, lingering tantalizingly close to that aching desire that you yearned for him to sate.

"You look beautiful like this," he murmured, his voice low and husky.

His hands found the waistband of your trousers, seizing them and stripping them away with deliberate slowness, savouring the anticipation in the air. With the same fervent urgency, he tore away your black knickers, now damp with a delicate sheen, casting them aside to join the scattered remnants of your clothing.

He seized your thighs with a firm grasp, prying them apart.

"Already so wet for me," he murmured, the words seeming to reverberate off the tender skin of your inner thighs, as his thumb traced a lazy circle around your clit, the wetness amplifying in your ears.

His lips trailed a path down to your exposed core, each touch worshipful.

As his mouth closed around your swollen clit, a delicate gasp escaped your lips, the sensation verging on the unbearable. His tongue teased and flicked, coaxing moans from deep within, as his hands pressed your thighs back, exposing you completely to him.

You didn't care if anyone caught you; the thought of exposure was as thrilling as it was irrelevant. Your own comrades witnessing you submit to Captain Levi? It didn’t matter. This felt right—inevitably, perfectly right.

Within mere seconds, another moan tore from your lips, your hips arching instinctively toward his face as he administered a pleasure so exquisite it bordered on torment. His touch was a maddening interplay of fierce and gentle, each caress sending electric jolts through your every nerve. Your hands, almost of their own volition, ensnared his dark hair, fingers tracing the starkness of his undercut.

The swiftness of your approaching climax was both disconcerting and shameful like a delicate thread stretched to its breaking point, teetering on the edge of an inevitable rupture.

Then, the sudden warmth of his mouth vanished entirely, leaving behind an emptiness, a fullness that dissolved into nothingness.

An immediate chill settled over you, the void left by his absence creating a gaping abyss. It seemed to siphon away the invisible warmth that had enveloped and protected you from the rain, intensifying the bite of the night air against your exposed skin. Cold raindrops began to pelt your body with an unforgiving rhythm.

"Levi..." you murmured, a plaintive note edging your voice.

He drew his face from your thighs, returning it to yours, and gently placed a single finger upon your lips. His expression had taken on a wholly illicit quality. His lips were smeared with the glistening evidence of your desire, the damp sheen of your arousal staining them.

"I don't want you to cum like this. I want us to be selfish together. One more time. Will you allow me that?"

To be selfish. One more time. The notion, steeped in cruelty, dances on the edge of immorality—a siren call to greed. To be so selfish as to betray Marley, to find pleasure even with the enemy. Yet, how could one deny him now? His eyes, frantic with desperation, and the rain draping his skin in a luminous veil. He appeared insatiable. And, of course, you craved your own release... that sharp, intoxicating crescendo of pleasure only he could provide, a singular, forbidden ecstasy no one else could replicate.

You quickly nodded, finding yourself unable to form words, as your body instinctively leaned towards him again. Your legs parted with a kind of silent urgency, beckoning him closer.

Levi's lips curled into a knowing smirk as he observed your needy demeanour. He began unzipping his trousers, revealing his ardent desire, pulsing with the anticipation of being freed from its confines by the allure of your blossoming beauty.

"So tight..." He grunted, his determination palpable as he fought to penetrate the walls of your defenses, striving to reach that sacred, long-abandoned sanctuary within you-a place where he once found peace but had neglected in the name of duty and humanity, as he had so conveniently excused himself.

How much he lamented his neglect; in this moment, all he wanted was to shower you with the love you deserved, a desperate attempt to redeem himself and reclaim what was lost.

When he finally entered you, it was not mere pleasure that consumed him; it was something far more profound. His eyes dilated, and the veins in his neck pulsed beneath the pale strech of skin. This act was not a simple indulgence in physical desire; it was a dark, sacramental rite, a pursuit of redemption. To the unknowing observer, it might have seemed a mere spectacle, a cunning performance crafted to ensnare your affection and pry information from your lips. But you knew Levi too well.

The pounding rain formed a cacophony in your ears, drowning out everything but the sensation of Levi-his touch, his breath, each gasp and moan. Every thrust was a fervent prayer, a plea for more,as he surged into you with an exquisite ferocity. His movements were deliberate, forceful, each one reaching deep, pressing against the tender boundary of your cervix. His hands traced a delicate path across your skin- stomach, chest, face-a whisper of tenderness against the merciless rhythm of his thrusts. It was an intoxicating equilibrium, and you relished every moment of it.

"I'm sorry..." Levi purred into your ear, a groan lacing with his words.

Those words pushed you over the edge, sending you to your peak. The rain seemed to intensify, as if it were a baptism, washing away every ounce of the past, pain and betrayal. Your cry pierced the air, your nails digging ruthlessly into the wet earth, your body responding, convulsing around him. Levi was right there with you, his grip on your hips tightening, his breath a scorching whisper against your ear. In that moment, all restraints disintegrated, and his seed flooded into you, filling your garden. The long-barren soil of your existence was finally rejuvenated, and the once-withered flowers of your soul exploded into vivid, riotous bloom.

You both collapsed onto the grass, utterly spent, each breath ragged. Levi's head rested against your chest, his breaths shallow and feverish, their warmth searing your skin.

Glancing up at the dark sky, where menacing clouds hang like an impending judgment, fear is absent. Instead, a surge of life more vibrant than ever before courses through your veins.

Levi's restless shift upon your chest caught your attention, his head lifting languidly from its repose. Then, as if the storm itself were holding its breath, the silence was ruptured by his murmur: "I'm sorry," he whispered again, his voice scarcely rising above the tempest's roar. "For everything." In response, you extended your index finger tracing the contours of his face with deliberate tenderness, guiding from the curve of his cheek to the rigid edge of his sharp jawline. You lingered there, gently massaging the tip of his chin with your thumb.

"I don't know if I can forgive you," you whispered, your gaze heavy with somber intensity. "In this world, beauty and duty must always be in balance. What we share is beauty—rare and fragile. But duty remains, unyielding. I am a Marleyan soldier, and you are the captain of the Survey Corps. To disrupt this equilibrium continually carries profound consequences."

You sighed deeply, the weight of your decision pressing heavily on the air. "Yet we are all permitted one indulgence to disrupt this fragile equilibrium, one fleeting moment of self-gratification. I have elected to be selfish with you now, to forsake duty for this transient beauty. I chose you. But forgiveness, that would mean succumbing to the chaos that inevitably follows. I want you safe... for if we transgress, we unravel the equilibrium."

Levi remained silent, his eyes steadfastly locked onto yours, yet you could discern the unspoken acceptance of these truths within his mind. He nestled his face against your chest once more sighing into it, his arms encircling your form, drawing his body ever closer, as if seeking to fuse his very body with yours.

Both of you knew this brief peace was destined to shatter, as inevitable as a raindrop meeting the earth. Yet, for now, you chose to remain entwined, savouring the warmth of your bodies pressed together. Even the rain, once a curse, now felt like a gentle caress.

As your fingers traced the sharp lines of Levi’s undercut while he slept against your chest, you understood this was the moment—the singular truth you craved, the only reality you sought to possess.

[braunbakery]

I’m sorry if this is rude but would you ever write a sequel to little sparrow? Like what happens between jean and reader and Mikasa after reader confesses to him?

poison oak

☞ jean kirstein x fem reader

☞ sequel to little sparrow, word count: 3k

☞ sfw, angst angst angst, canon-verse [post aot finale.]

☞ plot: there comes a point where whatever false comfort you and jean are afforded by pretending what you said on the boat never happened hurts more than you can bear.

☞ inspired by poison oak - bright eyes

☞ poison oak

the nightmares will never truly leave.

this is something that you all know full well. know to your deepest cores as the paradis demons, the paradis survivors, the paradis warriors. heroes. it needs not to be talked about, to be acknowledged or discussed.

and yet, they seem almost worse now that you awaken to safety. now that you can awaken to the knowledge of a war victoriously won and finally over. it seems even near the calm flickering and warmth of a fire at your bedside, or the crickets chirping outside a window, your mind cannot forget. it seems easier to have a nightmare when you were living in one.

jean knows this all too well, as he remains between sleep and consciousness tossing and turning until his bedsheets are all but crumbled into a bundle on his mattress. this is the routine – one he knows that he and his friends often undergo – especially in the nights following the end of the final battle for peace.

sometimes he is a young boy again – fifteen and watching his friends be devoured by beasts beyond comprehension. sometimes he is older and wiser, but still inhabited by that same fear and dread that has followed him from his most innocent and tarnished youth just to face enemies that look just like him. sometimes there are guns and sometimes blades. sometimes he is surrounded by comrades and sometimes he is isolated and staring up at the wall that dictated his very existence until countless died to be rid of it.

and sometimes – not often, not nearly as often as he would like – his nightmares are interrupted by an ocean breeze and your blurry silhouette in front of him. back at that boat before the final stretch. you’re speaking – he can hear your voice and make out your figure moving – yet he can’t make out the words.

he doesn’t need to. he knows this scene well enough since the day it happened.

his mouth moves of its own volition and he can barely even see from this cursed blur cast onto his vision – but he knows he is clasping your shoulder and he knows what words will come next out of his mouth.

“i need to go.”

and then he is awake.

*~*

it’s easy to get wrapped up in whatever comes after the war.

months go by and you’re signing treaties and mourning and meeting officials and reinstating civilisations alongside your comrades – but it’s barely ever that you all get to be friends. no, these moments are few and in between yet when they come it is like an air of gratefulness settles into the room until once more you are all interrupted by whatever duties are bestowed upon you next.

you are somewhat thankful for this business – obviously not for the horrors of that final battle or the things witnessed and lives lost – but for this sudden political leadership you and your comrades now share. you do not have time to think of jean and your confession. sometimes thoughts of it do slip in, it is hard not to when you have to see him so often those first few months, but now it has been a year and you have all gone on to follow your respective lives.

that constant underlying ache for him has turned into an occasional sting. you love jean. you do. it is a fact written into the crevices of your soul since your youth – but you owe it to yourself to live. to torture yourself no more with thoughts of him.

(“how have you been?” he says to you in the corner of the meeting room you are all situated in. you’re both currently stood at the small make-shift coffee and tea station set up for you all and pouring yourself a cup.

“oh!” you had not realised jean had sidled up beside you, “good! um…i’m alright.”

jean’s eyes flit between both of yours and suddenly you’re filled with the same embarrassment you used to feel when you would get tangled up in your ODM gear when you were younger and jean would double over laughing at you. he brings up a hand to the back of his neck.

you both have not spoken of that day on the boat and you certainly do not plan to bring it up.

“good…” jean eventually replies, “that’s good.”

“sorry,” you blurt out, “how’re you?” jean is grinning at your perceived impoliteness.

“tired,” he candidly blurts out and now it’s your turn to beam at him.

“i think we all are,” you say, and jean nods at you until suddenly his hand is coming up towards you. closer and closer and you’re frozen to the spot, you don’t even notice that you’ve stopped breathing. all you can think of is his hand’s nearing proximity to your face until suddenly it stops right at your eye.

he lightly brushes his thumb under your eye – the sure sign of your sleepless nights. you’re looking up at him lost for words as he mindlessly stares at the slight darkness painting your undereye.

when he locks eyes with you, it’s like he has suddenly realised himself and with an all too quick motion jerks his hand away from your face and stares at the ground.

“yeah, i’d say that’s right,” he sheepishly mumbles.

you hand him the teapot and both stand in silence until you’re called back to the meeting table.

and then like a well-trained dog, whenever you catch him look at mikasa (whether sparingly, whether a glance or his utmost focus as she speaks), you stare down at your clasped hands in an attempt to no longer involve yourself in whatever wreckage jean kirstein unconsciously makes of your heart.)

sometimes he writes to you.

a meeting of the so-called ‘heroes’ has become infrequent and only once every few months. you’ve all settled in different places some far and some close. sometimes you meet without the guise of peace and restoration, and sometimes that very guise is what’s needed for you all to see each other again.

so, you resort to writing. it’s you that starts it.

you write to everyone. you want to know of their plans, of their news homes, new lives, new directions. armin writes back the most – always lengthy responses and curiosity practically emanating off the parchment paper. in the times you have all met between these letters everyone has expressed their dismay for having to sit and write (‘as much as we’ve gone through together, you know i’m not writing,’ connie quips), yet at least once a month you receive something.

this is excluding jean, who week after week has something to say back to you.

he writes of new friends, new hobbies, new places, new desire for exploration. he writes and he writes and he writes, answering every question you have and asking his own. and it’s hard not to get too wrapped in it – you are childhood friends, you are soldiers in arms. and you have only just been able to resolve the heartache from the boat into a rough reminder that only comes and goes.

so with every letter (every poorly-scrawled joke and sudden idea and ‘yours truly’) you swallow your beaming smile and read as if this were anyone of the others writing to you.

*~*

eventually you do all meet, months later, at a bar.

it’s rounds of beers and dastardly jokes and everyone chortling at connie and jean rough-housing each other like they were teenagers once more. it’s reiner being forced to chug pints with a red face as connie insist he loosen up and ‘you’re the biggest here, you need to catch up.’

jean meets your eyes as everyone cheers and all you can think is that you are so happy to see him so at ease. to no longer see him as that haunted boy on the boat. your eyes meet jeans and all he can think is that he is so happy to see you here with everyone (which includes him. here with him.)

a lull of silence falls over the table eventually and you look up at jean to find him already staring at you. you offer him a small smile, overcome by the smooth buzz of alcohol and the warmth of the bar, and he reciprocates yet neither one of you looks away.

in the depths of your mind, you can feel whatever thoughts of him you have supressed over time come crawling out once more and you wonder if you are both to go on with the rest of your lives without ever mentioning what happened that day long ago. the silence breaks and everyone’s head turns to reiner, who’s holding up his half empty glass.

“to eren,” he declares, and you can practically hear mikasa’s breath hitch in her throat from next to you. around the table you can see the slight glaze over everyone’s eye, the sudden realisation that you truly did all make it out, “and to everyone else lost.” reiner continues.

slowly but surely, everyone’s glasses are raised up to the air and you’re back to years before inspecting jean’s every move like you can practically bore your eyes through his head and read his thoughts. and as your arm is outstretched in tribute to those who should be here with you today, you realise that jean is not looking at you.

he is looking at mikasa, as a single tear slowly trails its way down her cheek. he looks and he looks and he looks, even after everyone places their drinks back on the table with a synchronous clink. everyone is sharing a sympathetic glance at her, but in your most selfish moment you stare at jean.

you slowly watch as he stretches out his hand across the table and gently clasps it over hers, offering her a consoling smile and looking at her in ways you could only dream. sometimes you think maybe this is the look he gives you, maybe this is what you see when his eyes suddenly catch yours across the room or when he had brushed his thumb under your eye or when he tells you he looks forward to your next letter. but no – the look you long for is in front of you between him and her. from him to her.

without even thinking, you clasp your hand on mikasa’s shoulder and make your way off of your chair and suddenly jean is quickly retracting his own from hers. you cannot even spare him a look. you feel so selfish, you feel so dumb. you made it through battle upon battle and monstrosity upon monstrosity yet for some reason you cannot make it through whatever you feel for jean.

“think i’m done for the night,” you blurt out, voice slightly slurred from the amount of drinks you’ve had – though you suspect everyone else’s voices are similar. through everyone’s boos and goodbye’s you can hear jean.

“what?”

but you can barely spare him a glance before you’re grabbing your coat from the back of your chair, crossing the room and leaving the bar with no hesitation.

*~*

it’s only ‘til you’re halfway down the cobblestone street where the bar is that you realise the reason you’re so uncomfortable and cold and wet is because it is raining and you forgot your damn umbrella in the bar. so swept up in thoughts of a man who doesn’t love you that now you’re standing in the middle of the street at god knows what time looking like a fool.

jean kirstein doesn’t love you.

does jean kirstein love you?

why doesn’t jean kirstein love you?

maybe you were fine with whatever lingering glance and weekly letter and small yet fleeting touch. maybe a deep most embarrassing part of your mind thought perhaps he was growing to. maybe some convoluted side of you thought that perhaps with this much effort he put into sustaining your friendship, something else could be there. maybe–

“hey!” a voice calls after you in the distance.

you instinctively turn around and of course, of course, it’s him in all of his glory standing in the rain with your folded umbrella in hand and raised towards you.

“i think you forgot something,” he says and he starts to jog towards you. when he notices your hair dripping wet and your face almost laminated as he reaches you he can’t help but laugh, “though i’m a little late.”

“thanks,” you muster out, but you can’t seem to manage to take the umbrella from him. you can’t seem to move at all. jean frowns. he knows that something is wrong, and you can tell that he knows. it’s not like you (you who insists on writing letters, on meeting every few months, on reminiscing and appreciating and loving those who have come all this way with you) to suddenly leave without another word.

“what’s wrong?” jean starts, staring down at you staring down at your shoes.

you can’t speak until suddenly a hand is lightly touching your chin and tugging your face up. you’re met with his face and you hope – you pray – that he cannot notice whatever tears may or may not have escaped and that he may think your sniffling is from spending time out in the rain and not from this sudden sadness that feels like it’s taking over your every limb.

sadness for what? for something that never was?

“i’m going to bed, jean,” you say, slightly angling your chin away from his hand which remains in mid-air despite your movement.

“tell me,” he repeats, “tell me what’s wrong.”

you stare at his wet hair that has started to stick to his forehead for a moment. for a few. until suddenly you realise that he’s begging. he’s begging. he’s begging for you to tell him…to say it. and surely by now he can tell it’s from all that time ago, when you were bearing your soul to him in what could have been your final moments alive with each other. he must know. he has to know.

it's when he slightly nods his head at you as he watches you rummage through your own thoughts that he does know. he just wants you to say it.

“you’ll never love me, will you, jean?”

“that’s–”

“jean, please,” you snap, “just be honest with me. you owe it to me.”

“i know i do, i…” he feels like he’s barely able to enunciate. barely able to keep the words pouring out of him before they even make sense in head, “i’m sorry about the boat.”

your heart is rising and falling and rising and falling and you don’t think you would’ve ever heard any acknowledgment about what happened that day for as long as you lived. you thought that despite the fact that the both have you have faced enemies larger than life, you would both have never faced that day together.

“yeah,” you barely mouth out.

“i’m sorry i didn’t say anything. i’m sorry i…i just left. i don’t know why i–” he cuts himself off with two hands up to his hair, scrunching and pulling at it like his life depends on it, “the last thing i ever wanted was to hurt you.”

“it’s a bit late for that,” you can’t help but spitefully remark. you hate what this has made you into, this bitter and sad person this heartache has rendered you into.

“i know,” he breathes, “i know. but i…” it’s like it’s paining him to speak, and it’s a miracle you can even hear each other over the raindrops colliding down onto the street beneath you. your chests are both heaving and your breath is evaporating into steam in front of you. your clothes are soaked all the way through and jean’s are certainly on the way to being the same.

“…you?” you urge.

“i think i do.”

what?

“what?”

his hands are suddenly on your shoulders and his eyes are boring into you and you can feel the steam of his breath on your cheeks.

“i think i do,” he says again, voice racing itself, “like, really really do. i know it’s mean to say this now, i know it’s selfish. but i just need time. i just need to let go, somehow.”

you can taste the salt of your tears.

“let go of her, you mean?” and jeans eyebrows scrunch at the fact that you know full well what he means. he’s always known that you’ve know – sure, he saw your reaction at the bar – he just never imagined that you’d speak it aloud. speak it aloud to him.

he swallows, “yeah.”

you’re tired, you’re so so tired.

“i’m going to bed, jean,” and you start turning and wrenching yourself out of his grasp, but his hand is now around your wrist holding you in place.

“wait,” he urgently blurts, “please.”

“jean,” you tearfully sigh. this is not the life you want to live. you did not survive for this. you did not fight and win and go on just to still have your heart dictated by jean and mikasa.

“please,” he says again, slowly.

“jean, i’ve been waiting for you for years, whether i’ve liked it or not.”

“i know–”

“and now we have no war. now we have people, we have lives. we have something more than bloodshed.”

this time, jean lets you when you carefully tear yourself out of his grasp and fully face him.

“and i’m not letting myself spend what we have now waiting.”

*~*

that night, you take your umbrella from jean and walk to the nearby inn that you have all purchased rooms in for your stay without ever opening it. you listen to your feet echo against the empty cobblestone street and thank yourself that you turned and left before you could stare at jean’s back leaving you like before.

when you get to your room, you strip off all of your clothes and leave them in a heaped damp puddle in the corner of the room, then sit at your bed alone staring out the window. the wind slightly batters against the wooden panes and you can hear its distant howl.

it’s then that you realise you are somehow still on that boat. and maybe you are cursed to never leave.

thanks for reading :) feel free to request (please something other than jean dear god)

[arlerts-angel]

in another life — a. arlert

note: misery loves company, enjoy angels 🤍 got some inspo and wrote it in one go

warnings: canonverse (~return to shiganshina arc) | angst/hurt no comfort | gn reader | not proofread sry

armin sat at the shore watching the foamy waves crash against his legs and feet, silently wishing he could feel each grain of salt within the water.

"i had a feeling i'd find you here," you giggle.

"oh, hi. i'm glad you found me," he replied, patting a spot in the sand next to him. you oblige and join him.

"it's calming isn't it, the water?" you ask as you reach into the water and cup your hand, then watching it slip between your fingers.

"it is, i can't even begin to imagine what's beyond it, and what lies deep beneath..." he sighs, "but it's starting to feel like i'll never know."

he begins to go on about how it feels like there's no end in sight, and certainly not a victory for them; and how he's afraid that all of this war and loss will be for nothing.

"i think anyone who isn't afraid of that has lost their mind," you joke, attempting to lighten the mood.

"you're probably right," he half laughs.

it feels so wrong to love amid such despair, during such a tragedy. how could your brain and heart betray you in such a devastating way?

you reckon he feels the same way, sometimes.

it was unspoken between the two of you. there was just no way for a relationship to happen when your future was so uncertain, but you'd be lying to yourself if you said you hadn't thought about it.

"if our fate is death anyway, let's run away... together, armin, and damn it all. we can live out the rest of our time together happily. no matter how long or short..." you propose.

"we can't just abandon our efforts, you and i both know that..." he sighs. "make no mistake, i'd love nothing more than to live our lives differently... happily... but we threw that away when we enlisted into the scouts.

"right," you reply and turn away, "i don't know why i said that."

"you know if things were different—" he starts.

"i know, armin," you assure him as you stand on your feet, brushing sand off of yourself, "i get it. that doesn't make it any less disappointing..."

he nods. "you understand why we can't run off together, right?"

"of course i understand. we have a duty, an obligation as part of the survey corps," you sigh, "i just feel like i can't just not say it any longer, though."

"say what?" he inquires.

"that i love you, armin. even though sometimes it feels like i shouldn't, not during a time like this." you admit.

his breath catches in his throat.

"maybe in the next life we can make this last..." you lament.

in that moment, there was nothing but you, himself, and the ocean. he gently cups your cheek and looks you in the eyes.

"in the next life, we will make this last..." he promises.

taglist: @la-undercover-latina @heliiacus @so-you-like-kpop @milky-aeons @lees-chaotic-brain

@slutforthanatos @layla240 @priv-rose @reiners-milkbiddies @toji-girl-main

@blueberrisdove @darkstarlight82 @pastasauceandmoms @kodzukein @drinklavalamps

@little-miss-chaoss @ravereina

[plutoccult]

ALWAYS THE ARTIST, NEVER THE MUSE

pairing: eren yeager x gender neutral reader

description: you know you shouldn’t have let yourself fall for eren, but you did anyway, and it only left you with nothing but hurt when you knew his heart belonged to another. after months of torture, you finally have the strength to let go, granting you the happiness you so desperately needed back in your life.

word count: 1.7k

also available to read on my ao3 here

author’s note: happy december? no, angsty december. this particular one shot is a little personal for me because it’s based off a final conversation i had with someone who i essentially let have hold of my heart for far too long and finally had the strength to let go of them a few months ago. he’s like jake gyllenhaal minus the age gap. i say this because he gave me the ability to relate to the moment i knew aka not being there for my 21st birthday! insane! i did however make it less personal by giving it some how i met your mother vibes, but there’s still inklings of my personal life in it. writing helps me heal and express my feelings in a way that i’m comfortable with, so i feel good writing this as part of my healing journey? corny to use fanfiction for healing, but to each their own. sorry if this is too angsty, but imagine how my life has been LMAO. anyway, big shoutout to my friend @toorubobatea for beta reading this. i really wanted her to read it before i posted it, so thank you queen!! and now i hope you guys can enjoy it just like she did! mwah! and i’m tagging @jeanboyjean since she so kindly asked me to <3

you knew that the day you met eren yeager, your life would never be the same, but my god, did it your life turn upside down. pulled in so many different directions you couldn’t tell what was left or right anymore. you felt like you were losing yourself in the process, but you wanted more of him like you wanted to breathe air.

it was always a mistake. one beautiful, soul-crushing mistake. he’d lead you on with mixed signals and uncertainty, but you lived for the thrill because it was the only interesting thing going on in your life. it’s “for the plot”, as you’d always say. even if your friends told you a million times he was bad news and you would only get hurt in the end, you didn’t care.

he was just your friend, that’s what you two always claimed; just friends, but you always sensed a hint of a lie in those words. you couldn’t be just friends. not when he remembered everything you said down to what you had for lunch last week or that time your mother fainted as she watched you get stitches for the first time as a kid. not when he spoke to you everyday like clockwork, a routine that seemed to come easy. how could you ever be just friends? how could it not be more?

you were inevitably in love with eren yeager, and it crushed you when you realized he never once had those feelings for you. not only that, but he was in love with someone else; mikasa ackerman, his best friend since childhood. it all made perfect sense, and you wished you never met him in the first place. but even then, you couldn’t keep yourself away from him. as long as he didn’t know of your feelings, everything would be fine, right? oh, how you were so, so wrong.

you tortured yourself every time you spoke to him. you listened to him as he pined for mikasa, too scared to admit his feelings to her. of course you knew what it was like to be in that position, the one you wanted was sitting right in front of you and he didn’t seem to have a clue. it frustrated you so much, but even so, you’d rather have something instead of nothing with him. such a sad way to feel, such a sad way to live when you think about it now. always the artist, never the muse. constantly crafting for others, nothing ever created just for you.

you’d push those feelings deep down into the darkest pit of your heart, but no matter how hard you tried, it would all come back every time you saw his face or even thought of him. those thoughts of maybe if you were prettier, funnier, and just overall better plagued your mind, but you had to shake them away. one day, you knew, you’d ultimately become fed up and blow up about it. it was the only way you knew how, the only way you could be free.

so now here you were, sitting at your usual booth in your favorite bar—assuming it may no longer be yours after tonight—waiting for eren to arrive so you could talk. you assumed he could sense your seriousness and urgency when you texted him, but you figured so be it. one way or another, you’d do this.

he arrived like you expected. you refused to let him make you second guess yourself, so you kept your cool and acted as normal before you dropped the bomb on him. besides, the shot you took before he showed up was quite the help, plus the drink you swirled around in its glass now.

eren walked over to the bar to grab a drink before heading over to the booth, expecting you to stand up and greet him with a hug like always, but you remained in your seat, clutching your drink in your hands.

“hey, i got your text.” he said as he sat down across from you.

“i see that.” you reply. he noticed you were acting different, not like the y/n he knew. it was obvious you had something on your mind, and since he knew you so well, eren could sense you were going to spill your guts about something.

“what’s up? is something wrong?” eren asked. this was it.

“i just.” you pause. oh god, you were really doing this. “i just wanted to say that i’m done with whatever this is.”

he’s silent, he doesn’t know what to say. you feel like the words are all coming out like vomit. you almost wish you were spewing real vomit right now, but you weren’t quite drunk enough for that. you had to get through this hellish conversation first, at least.

“i’m done. i’m not going to make a fool out of myself anymore. i’m done trying. i’m giving up.” you say, tears threatening to stream down your face, but you fight them away. “i’m done exhausting myself of trying to be something i’ll never be because deep down i know i’ll never be yours.”

eren should’ve seen this coming. all those times you fell silent when he ranted to you about his love problems. you always wanted to scream in his face about how the one person in this world that actually wanted him was always right there, that it was you. even so, he could never give you what you wanted, and he felt like the worst person in the world because of it.

you wait for him to speak, but he doesn’t say anything. if this was going to be your final conversation, he might as well say something. “well, speak now or forever hold your peace because i’m clearly not holding mine.”

“i mean, it’s just not what i was expecting to hear.” eren finally spoke. “i’m just shocked.”

“trust me, i never expected to say it either, but if i’ve learned anything, it’s that i care too much.” you tearfully admit. “too much about you when i know where your heart belongs and it’s not with me.”

“i’m sorry, y/n. i never meant for things to get like this.” he said with sincerity, although you wondered if it was all a lie. “and you must know that there was never any hostile intentions behind any of my actions.”

“that’s funny. it always seemed like there was.” you looked down at your drink, quickly moving your gaze back to him as he spoke once more.

“no, you…” eren paused, trying to put the words together in the best way he could. even if he didn’t seem like it, he did care someway, somehow. “you’ve been there for me when i needed someone most and i’m really, really grateful for that, but i can’t give you what you want, and i’ve been unfair to you as a result. i’m sorry.”

huh. this really wasn’t what you were expecting. where’s the insults? where’s the twisting of your words? why is he actually being apologetic and taking accountability? you wanted to say this was crazy, but this is eren you’re talking about. you always knew he was too good. too good to ever be yours, even.

“you know, this is usually the part where you flip out and make it all my fault instead by calling me delusional and crazy.” you force a laugh. might as well laugh through the pain, right?

“i’m not gonna flip out.” eren said.

“why?” you question him.

“because i know i’ve done wrong by you.” he replied.

“well, that’s a shock.” you take a sip of your drink, tempted to chug it, but eren’s words shocked you into stopping the liquid from going past your lips.

“it shouldn’t have to be, y/n.” he frowned. “you deserve someone who won’t weigh you down. you deserve to move on, even if it’s not flattering for me.”

you set down your drink as you let out a sigh and briefly cover your face, rubbing your eyes before showing yourself once more. “i hate that you’re being so nice about this. i was expecting to yell at you or something.”

“do you want to?” eren asked you.

as much as past you would have loved to, you didn’t have the energy to be bitter anymore. “no… i’m okay. this is better.”

“you sure?”

“yeah, positive.” you say, followed by silence. there wasn’t much for you to say anymore, and you couldn’t beat on this dead horse any longer. it was time to finally say goodbye, no matter how much it pained you to do so. “um, i guess we should just end this here, huh?”

“yeah, guess so.” he looked away. this hurt eren too, but you both knew this was for the best. you’ll be thankful later down the road.

“would it be totally wrong to sneak in a taylor swift quote right now?” you ask, almost immediately regretting the question.

“no, go for it.”

“eh, maybe not. too corny.” you thought it would be best to keep those words to yourself. besides, it was too hard to pin it down to just one thing. he was worth a hundred songs, ones you may never listen to the same way, but that’s okay.

“she’s a wise, wise woman, you know.” eren said, a grin slowly creeping up on his face, despite the circumstances.

“yeah, she is.” you softly smile. at least you could end this on a little good note.

“goodbye, y/n. i wish you the best in everything.”

“goodbye, eren. i really hope you get her someday.”

and with that, you placed a twenty dollar bill on the table and left the bar, no longer claiming it as your favorite and leaving it to eren, along with your favorite place to sit. like with everything else in life, nothing lasts forever, nothing stays the same, and that’s okay. you knew that now.

it was such a strange feeling, having this weight lifted off your shoulders. you had been burdened with this boulder for so long you forgot what it felt like to be weightless. you were finally clean of eren yeager, light as a feather, but most importantly, happy, and freeing yourself of such delusions was the greatest gift you could ever receive.

© plutoccult / 310802. please do not copy, repost, modify, or translate any of my content in or outside of tumblr. reblogs are appreciated <3

[daemontargaryenwhore]

I showed this to my friend and he asked “is he dead or just tall?” and i didn’t know how to tell him it was both.

Ctto. @h.dante on TikTok 🫶🏻

[deformed666doll]

[seeingivy]

sofia

actor!eren x f!reader

**part of my method acting series

previous part linked here

songs mentioned: champagne problems by taylor swift, when emma falls in love by taylor swift, and minor sofia by clairo insinuation (+ the name of the chapter)

“Can I ask for a favor?” Eren asks. 

You look up to find Eren and Armin standing in front of the dining table, both leaning on the backs of the chairs. The first whiff you get is a mix of sweat and deodorant, and you instinctively push your notebook closer to you and nod. 

You hate that Eren and Armin work out together. 

Not really, of course. You’re glad that Armin was able to find some type of segway that felt comfortable enough for him to interact with Eren, that they were slowly building back whatever it was that they lost. 

You just hate that Eren always wears that stupid headband to keep her hair back and insists on wearing a tank top – or no shirt at all –  for the five mile run they do at the end. 

You’re lucky that today is the former and not the latter. 

“Yeah, what’s up?” you ask. 

Eren places the little glass bowl in front of you, before giving Armin a nod, and sliding into the chair across from you. Armin takes his leave with Annie at his side, before giving you a passive wave over the shoulder. 

The first thing you note is that Eren’s fish tattoo is on display. It’s one of the few moments that you get to admire it – the physical reminder of you inked on to his arm – since the makeup team is always covering it up or he’s wearing a jacket. 

And the second is that Eren doesn’t really fit in the chair – because his legs are overstretched and hanging against the sides of the legs – and he nearly falls back when he moves a little too much. 

It’s crazy to think that there was a time that you and Eren would have your feet dangling in the air from how high the chairs used to be. 

You eye the little bowl, before reaching forward for it, and taking it in your hands. There’s only two little requests left, though you swear yesterday that you only had one left – which was Eren’s. 

“I know I technically already have a request in there. But could you please do another one for me?” Eren asks. 

“Sure. Which one is it that you want me to pull? The green slip or the pink one?” 

“Oh, no. It’s a separate request. I need you to write a song about Mikasa for me.” Eren responds. 

“Ah, yeah. Sure.” 

You reach forward into the bowl anyways and pull both of the slips out but Eren’s quick to reach forward and snatch them from your hands, much to your dismay.

“Hey!” 

“I just asked you to write a different song. Why did you take both of these out?” Eren asks. 

“Why are you in such a rush? I already have a song about Mikasa somewhere in one of my books, I just need to find it. I’m more curious about who added a request yesterday because there was only one left last night.” you respond. 

“It’s part of my gift for Mikasa. The wedding is next week, idiot.” 

Shit. You had yet to plan what you were going to give Jean. 

Eren looks back at the little slips, before tucking the green one closer to him and handing you the pink. You take it in your hands and find Sofia’s name scribbled over the top and open the slip. 

“It’s Sofia.” 

You pale when you read the slip. 

write a song with historia about how she said no to ymir’s proposal. (please!!!! if you can!) 

You hand it over to Eren who reads it before setting it down on the table. 

“Just don’t sing it at the end, especially if Ymir is there.” Eren responds. 

“I…do you think I should? From my very limited information, I think Ymir would hate it if Historia wrote another song about her.” you respond.

“That information is very limited because you refuse to talk to Historia. And Ymir won’t talk about it unless you ask, which you won’t.” Eren responds. 

You slouch back into your chair. 

“I’m not refusing to talk to her. I’m just in my nice….ignorance is bliss bubble. I like Ymir and Sofia but I also like Historia. I don’t want to get all complicated with the feelings if I know everything that happened.” you respond. 

Eren rolls his eyes. 

“You’re already mentally siding with Ymir because you know that Ymir got on her hands and knees and begged Historia to be with her after she said no to the proposal. And because you like Sofia.” Eren responds. 

“Can we go back to when you weren’t calling me out on my shit? What gift are you getting, Mikasa?” you ask. 

Eren smiles, before leaning forward. 

“For the record, I…I sided more with Ymir and Sofia too. Or did originally at least. I feel like you’ll run into the same thing as me, but we can’t really hold it against Historia. She just has different priorities than us and picked differently than we would have, but it doesn’t mean she’s wrong. And I’m making Mikasa an edited video and I want the song in the background to be about her. Preferably written by her best friend.” Eren responds. 

“Do you think Historia will hang Sofia at the stake for requesting this?” you ask.

Eren shrugs. 

“I’m positive that Sofia just requested it because Historia’s been making lots of snide comments to Ymir all week. And saying stuff about Sofia that she eventually finds out about. Everyone’s been telling her about how the songs and stuff have been helping them with their own situation, so she might have just seen it as a segway. Just don’t tell Historia who asked for it and  make it seem like it’s your idea. I don’t think Sofia meant ill will.” Eren responds. 

“No. No, I don’t think she meant anything malicious either. She’s so sweet. And she must feel awkward since we all grew up together and she’s the other woman, or something” you respond. 

“Yeah, she is really sweet. She kind of reminds me of you, sometimes.” Eren adds. 

“As if. She reminds me of you – she literally has the same dimples.” 

Eren scoffs. 

“Lots of people have dimples. I would look like half of the people on the planet by that logic. She actually reminds me of you, when you first got here. She’s just so…” Eren responds. 

“Normal.” you respond. 

Eren sighs. 

“Yeah.” 

 You choose to withhold your comments about how you're not that type of normal anymore. And it sours all together – because that was one of the things that Eren really loved about you when you first started dating. 

Eren gives you a smile before making his move to leave. But he stops before he retreats to his room, his hand is warm on your shoulder as he squeezes. 

“Still the same in all the ways that matter. To me, at least.” Eren mumbles, before walking off. 

You sigh. 

If Sukuna was still here, he’d call you hopeless. And you’d have to agree with him. 

--

You find Historia on set, intently watching Eren and Armin while they’re filming. You take the seat next to her, reaching forward to squeeze her shoulder and catch her attention, as she shuffles to the side and makes space for you. 

“Hi Hisu.” you whisper. 

“Is the Y/N L/N finally gracing me with her presence?” Historia responds. 

You roll your eyes. 

“Shut up.” 

You feel a tiny smack, before you turn around to find Levi glaring at the two of you. And the guilty culprit – the pencil he projectile launched at the two of you. 

“You two shut up.” Levi warns, before walking back to where he was standing at the viewfinder, with Hange. 

You both smile, like you’ve been caught passing notes by a teacher, before looking back down at the script to the scene that they were filming. 

“So what did you think?” Armin asks. 

“About what?” Eren asks. 

“About Y/N?” Armin asks. 

You lean forward, tucking your legs close to your chest, as you watch them. 

“The makeup team did really well with the hair.” Historia whispers. 

“Yeah. It almost looks like he still has the man-bun.” you respond. 

“Which hair was your favorite?” Historia asks. 

You pause. 

“I like the length it’s at right now. But, I kind of liked his short hair, like from before. Sometimes I feel like when his hair is too long it kind of drowns everything else out, like his eyes and stuff.” you respond. 

“Imagine thinking you’re not in love with the guy but talking about him like that.” Historia grumbles, as you reach to shove her in the side. 

“Who said I think that?” you respond. 

You watch as Historia’s eyes widen and you turn back to the two of them. 

“Do you think she’ll be able to forget about you and live happily with someone else? Just like you wanted.” Armin asks. 

Eren shrugs. 

“Well. Who knows?” Eren asks. 

Armin reaches forward and punches Eren in the face. You bite down on your cheeks to stop yourself from flinching, as you turn to your left to find Reiner and Connie shoving their faces into their own scripts to avoid distracting them with their laughter.

Reiner and Connie never got over laughing at immature stunts. Like punching each other. 

“The hell kind of answer is that? I still haven’t forgiven you! How do you feel about the fact that you ignored Y/N’s feelings?” Armin screams. 

You bite down on your lip. The deja vu feels uncanny. 

“Y/N risked her life and only ever had eyes for you. Did you really think you could say forget about me and it would be just that?” 

Sometimes you wonder if Eren’s a sadist for writing scenes like this into the show. You’re positive Levi must have insinuated the same when he suggested the entire thing to him. 

“At the very least, Y/N should forget about a heartbreaker like you and find happiness. She might find a good guy sooner than you think and hit it off with him.” Armin responds. 

It comes out quietly – Eren’s voice. Almost like a whimper. 

In all honesty, you had almost forgotten he was there for a second, with Armin’s screaming. But when you look over, you find Eren sitting there in the water, with tears streaming out of his eyes. 

“No. No, that would kill me.” Eren responds, his voice breaking. 

You press your hands to your cheeks, letting your fingers block out the periphery as you watch the two of them, and feel your chest compress. It’s almost like you can feel everyone else looking at you – Jean and Mikasa, Historia at your side – and you choose to ignore it for the time being. 

“I don’t want her to find someone else. I want to be her one and only for the rest of my life! And after I die, I want her to pine after me for at least ten years!” Eren responds. 

Armin pauses, lifting his hands to tousle his hair. 

“Oh. I didn’t think you’d say something so…pathetic…” Armin responds. 

Eren sighs, shoving his palms into the sockets of his eyes to still the crying. 

“Don’t tell Y/N any of this. I want her to find happiness. I really do…I don’t want to die. I can’t leave Y/N…or any of you.” 

Armin crouches down, hands heavy on his shoulders, as he pleads. 

It’s enough to make the wave of discomfort bubble up in your throat – because it’s the exact same as last time. And even in the fictional version, Eren won’t heed anyone’s advice. 

“Eren! Let’s keep trying! Let’s find another way!” Armin screams. 

You can’t watch them anymore. You reach for your script, giving Historia a smile, before you retreat to the dressing room and give Levi a wave as you pass. You can tell that he shoots you a concerned look, which you shake off, before you settle into one of the makeup rooms at the back and slam the door behind you. 

“We don’t need you till later.” 

“Yeah, I…just needed a breather from out there. Do you mind?” 

The stylist shakes her head as you shoot her a smile and settle into the chair. You lift the script again, still open on the page that they were just shooting out there, as you pause. 

You focus more carefully this time on the lines. You had read this scene when Eren wrote it – way back when, when he and Armin were still fighting. But Eren had given you the second half – about meeting each other in hell. 

You never read the part that he just said because Eren never wrote it. The only line that he was actually in the script was the first one, about how it would kill him. 

He had improvised the rest. 

It was like a lingering thought that was in the back of your mind at all times. 

Now that your previous excuse, that you needed everything to be settled before you could even think about Eren, was virtually gone. 

You had done the awards show, you had given your performance. And as annoying as it was, Eren was right. The heaviness of letting go was because now you had to move forward, because that chapter of york ife was sealed now. Danny and Sareen, Scott Clarkson and Hyla, Ricky even – they were always just going to be a footnote from here on out. 

Which is why you spent all three days of the break that Levi and Hange gave you thinking about Eren. About what would be the right way to approach him again. And every idea that you came up with seemed horrible, not good enough to bring him back. 

Deep down, you knew that Eren wanted you. That some part of him still loved you, and that if you made the move, he wouldn't reject you. 

The fear was what came after that. What if your relationship wasn’t the same? What if you two had changed too much, that there was just too much baggage that you both came with, that it would eventually drag you down? 

Then you’d really lose Eren forever. It almost felt safer to keep it the way it was now. 

But that came with its own mess. Because Eren wouldn’t wait for you forever and if you had to watch him move on with someone like Sofia, the same way Historia had to watch Ymir, you’re positive that you would handle it worse than her. 

There’s a knock on the door and it’s almost like you’ve summoned her by thinking about her. Because Historia’s peeking into the room, gesturing for you to follow her out. And you oblige, as the two of you quietly march back to the townhouse, arm in arm. 

--

Historia takes you straight to her room. And you note the sign scribbled on the door, how Historia’s crossed Ymir’s name out as you walk in. You both settle into the sheets, Historia throwing the throw blanket over the two of you, as you stare up at the ceiling. 

It’s quiet. And the thoughts are racketing around in your brain like a pinball machine. 

“I’m getting deja vu.” Historia states. 

You laugh. 

“Tell me about it.” you respond. 

“Can I tell you something that won’t help in any shape or form?” Historia responds. 

“Please.” 

“He improvised all of those lines.” Historia responds. 

“I knew that already. I realized it when I went into the stylist’s trailer.” you respond. 

“Well, he kept going after you left. He’s either down horrendous or he really wants to win an award.” Historia responds. 

You smile. 

Eren probably would win an award for this. And if he was lucky, he’d win Actor in a Leading Role – and actually get to celebrate it this time around. 

The thought of getting to win a triple threat again crosses your mind, but falls dead in its tracks. No one’s ever gotten it twice. And it was insinuated enough that it was more of a…lifetime achievement award, so your chance was already out the door. 

“So. You said no when she proposed to you?” you ask. 

She doesn’t respond. You look over to find her staring at the ceiling, her eyes almost blank. You reach for her hands under the blanket, following her lead instead of asking again. 

You can only imagine how agonizing it must be to watch someone as…nonchalant as Ymir beg on her hands and knees. 

“I would have married her.” she whispers. 

You feel your chest tighten, as you pinch your eyes shut. This is exactly what you didn’t want to hear. 

“I-I really would have, I swear. I just wasn’t ready.” Historia repeats. 

The retort is on the tip of your tongue. How were you not ready when you’ve loved Ymir since you were kids? 

But then again, you’ve loved Eren since then you were kids too. And you have yet to muster up enough courage to go for him, when he’s standing right in front of you basically waiting for it. 

“It was really perfect. She had invited everyone to fly out and come watch us, after I was done touring. Levi and Hange were there, Sasha and Jean, even Erwin was there. And they were all watching from afar and…and she…” 

Historia pauses. 

“I…I was already crying when she started by saying my dear, Historia. I could see the little box in her hand and I knew what was coming. And then she….she dropped to her knees.” Historia starts. 

She shakes her head, almost like she’s trying to rid herself of the mental image. 

“I always had this stupid running joke, ever since we first got together, that Ymir would never humble herself to propose on her knees. That…that was never really her style, to do something like that even though I’ve always wanted someone to propose to me like that. I’m more traditional and…and Ymir really hates that type of shit, so I just figured she wouldn’t do it when the time came.” 

You sigh. 

“I only knew the answer was no when she actually got on her knees and asked me. Because…because if it was me, I…I wouldn’t ever do that for her.” Historia adds. 

“What?” 

“I wouldn’t do that for her. If getting on my knees and proposing wasn’t my style, I wouldn’t get on my knees and propose. But…Ymir would, for me. And I know it’s fucking stupid and not that serious, but I just…” 

Ymir loved Historia, more than Historia loved her.

“I couldn’t say yes in good faith… because I wouldn’t give something up for her like that. Or…or for anyone, at that time. Even if it was something as trivial as where you stand while you’re proposing.” Historia states. 

You pause. You can tell what she’s trying to get at, though the comparison is hardly fair. 

“Well, your career is hardly trivial to you. But in all honesty, I don’t think you’d lose your career if you were a popstar who was gay.” you note.

Historia sighs. 

“I know you don’t feel the same way. I know that…that a lot of you don’t and that…that I must seem stupid but. But –” 

You hear her sniffle, turning your side to note that there���s tears flowing out of her eyes. 

“I’m not a bad guy for wanting to keep my career the way it is now. I’m not the villain for saying no to her proposal and not wanting people to know that I’m gay. Getting to make music, being in shows like this – it’s what I love. You know that most things like this are…are temporary anyways. I still need something I can fall back on.” she responds. 

You deflate. There was a small part of you that was hoping that she would deny it. That this wasn't really the reason that she said no. You lean closer to her, resting your head against her shoulder. 

“No one thinks you’re the bad guy, Historia. And you’re not the villain for wanting to keep your own life private. We…we just don’t like that you think you can’t be a popstar and be gay at the same time. There’s….there’s so many people who are successful. Just look at Hange.” 

Historia shakes her head. 

“Hange…doesn’t count to me. I had even tried to talk to them about it, but…it didn’t really apply. They even agreed with me.” 

“What do you mean?” 

“Hange blends in more than I do. Then Ymir and I would. They’re dating Levi and...if you didn’t know, you would think they’re a straight couple. On the outside, when they walk on red carpets together, they still look normal to people. But if Ymir and I…” 

“It would be different. There would be no question.” you respond. 

“You know that Hange gets overlooked for certain opportunities, right? Imagine if it were me. I’m not charismatic like Satoru Gojo and…and maybe I don’t want to have to forge my own path. I get that it’s glamorous to do things like this to some people but…it feels unfair that everyone else gets to do things normally but I have to be some trailblazer just to get to the same place.” 

You don’t know what to say. Because it makes complete sense to you. And she had checked you on what you had been thinking yourself. 

That Historia was insanely talented and that she’d continue to prove herself just as she did before people started doubting her. That when she came out of it at the end, people would love and praise her – for going above and beyond mere expectations that were put on her and staying true to herself. 

But it wasn’t fair. And you know well enough now, there’s nothing glamorous or fulfilling about climbing your way to the top like that. To have people speculate on every portion of your life, especially something so sacred like the ones you hold ear. To expect Historia to do it would be unfair. 

Eren’s words echo through your mind. Just because her priorities aren’t the same as ours doesn’t mean she’s wrong. 

It’s a silent thankfulness you have – that you and Eren are on the same page. You wouldn’t be able to handle it half as well as Ymir if he wasn’t. If he had picked his career over you.  

“Things like love aren’t temporary, though. You could have fallen back on her when things got hard.” you murmur. 

Historia scoffs. 

“You don’t believe that.” Historia seethes in response. 

“I do. There’s…there’s so many examples of it around us.” you respond. 

“I know that everyone’s on a high because Jean and Mikasa are getting married next week. But you weren’t here when they were fighting. I promise you, no part of that was pretty for Jean. She gave him more hurt than he deserved.” 

“But they moved past that! They love each other now.” 

“But not everyone does. Not everyone gets to rock bottom and climbs their way out – and in fact, most people don’t. Jean and Mikasa are the exception, not the rule. If you didn’t think that was true, you and Eren would be going to the wedding as a couple.” 

You sigh. She’s wrong. She’s so wrong – but you can’t throw it in her face. 

“It doesn’t seem like you really believe it either.” you respond. 

Historia shrugs. 

“Two things can be true at one time, Y/N. I can believe in love but know that Ymir and I are hopeless. We have been since she kneeled.” 

You reach for your notebook, which you had discarded on the floor, and for the shitty pen that was left in between the pages and scribble on the first open spot you find. 

sometimes you just don’t know the answer till someone’s on their knees and asks you 

The question bites at you. Historia still loves Ymir. 

“Would you say yes if she asked you now?” you ask. 

“Yeah. I think I would.” 

“Even if she got on her knees?”

“I’d crouch down just to be there with her.” Historia responds. 

The earnestness in the statement makes your heart crush. She was already too late. 

“What do you think about Sofia?” 

Historia rolls her eyes. 

“It’s irritating how likable she is. Like it actually pisses me off.” 

You snort. That sounds familiar. 

“Lacy, oh lacy…” you hum. 

“You’re not funny, bitch.” Historia responds, reaching to shove you in the side. 

You both laugh. 

“I wrote a few songs about her and Sofia. No one knew it was about them, but…but Ymir knew. Sofia knew, but she was too nice to say anything about it. I wrote this song called traitor, because technically, Ymir actually knew Sofia while we were still together. And she got mad because…” 

“Because how is she a traitor if you’re the one who said no…” you finish. 

“Yeah. It…it really hurt, Ymir. And maybe I did that on purpose, just because…I never actually expected her to move on. It felt like a betrayal to me.” Historia adds. 

“I know you’ve been making…comments here and there. To Sofia and Ymir. I know you don’t like her, but…you made your bed, Historia. You have to lay in it now.” you respond. 

She doesn’t respond. 

“I think Ymir and Sofia just want what’s best for you. Sofia is the one who wanted me to write a song with you about it, just…just so you could get some of it off of your chest. We all want you to be happy.” 

Historia pushes up off the bed, hiking her knees to her chest, as she buries her face into the hardness of her knees. You can tell that she’s racking out a sob, her breaths heavy, as you wrap your arms around her, resting your head against hers. 

“Historia–” 

“If Ymir wanted me to be happy, she would have gotten back together with me when I asked yesterday.” Historia mumbles. 

You cringe. 

“Don’t tell me you –” you murmur. 

“We…we were talking about how nice it was to be around each other again at the funeral. And Ymir was saying that…that I’d always be someone who would bring comfort to her, just like I did to her then. I thought she was trying to say that it was always going to be me so I asked. I begged her this time. And she said no.” Historia adds. 

“Historia, I’m so sorry. You–” 

She shakes her head. It’s almost like you’ve hit a brick wall, because instead of talking further, reaches for your notebook and scribbles the words onto the page with you. You can tell that the conversation is over, and that in true Historia fashion, she’s so stubborn she won’t touch it again. 

Wwith your permission, she rips the page out of the spine. The look she spares you over her shoulder before walking out of the room is haunting. 

--

Eren pops his head into your room an hour later. 

“Can you do me a favor?” Eren asks. 

“Can you stop asking me that?” you retort back. 

“My response is contingent on your answer.” Eren

“Yes. I can do you a favor, Eren. What is it?” 

Eren smiles, holding his hand out to you, as he all but yanks you off of your bed. 

“It’s not really a favor. I just wanted you to come into my room. Gabi and Falco are trying their outfits on for the wedding.” Eren responds. 

You smile as you walk straight across into Eren’s room, to find Gabi and Falco sitting eagerly on the couch. There’s four big boxes in his room, freshly delivered from the courier, as you take the seat next to Eren on the bed. 

“Okay. Falco, this is yours. Gabi, you can change in Y/N’s room and Falco take the bathroom. And don’t rip anything or you’re both going to the wedding naked.” Eren instructs. 

You watch as the two of them burst out into a fit of giggles, before they shuffle into their respective rooms with the hangers stretched over their shoulders. You turn to Eren, tapping on your thighs, as you wait for them to come back. 

“Your dress is here, too. If you want to try it on.” Eren offers. 

“Oh! Yeah, maybe I will. Are you going to try yours?” 

“Yeah. Yeah, I might.” Eren responds. 

It’s swelteringly awkward. You have no idea what to say. 

“I…found the song I wrote about Mikasa. Nico and Armin put together a backtrack for me so I’ll send it to you.” 

You watch as Eren’s eyes light up. 

“Thank you so much! I really hope she likes it.” 

“She will. You know how sentimental she is, I-I think she’s really going to love it.” you respond. 

“Speaking of. What are you getting Jean? I am morally obligated to hang you at the stake like it’s the Salem witch trials if it’s something bad.” 

You roll your eyes. 

“I actually need your help with my gift for Jean.” you state. 

Eren dramatically places his hands on his chest. 

“It’s your lucky day, Y/N! I live to serve. Especially when it’s you.” 

“When did you get so theatrical? Are you on something?” you state, voice dripping with sarcasm.

“Not only am I extremely helpful, but I’m really generous too. I’ll give you some of my fix.” Eren responds, returning the energy back in full flesh. 

“Not me getting the princess treatment! What did I do to deserve this?” 

Eren shoves you in the side. 

“Shut up. What do you need my help with?” Eren asks. 

“Well…” 

It’s right at that moment that you hear Falco and Gabi’s giggly voices again, as they both run into the room. You immediately press your hands to your cheeks and nearly squeal at how cute they both look – and specifically melt at Falco’s bowtie matching Gabi’s dress. 

Seeing Falco wear suits is less cute than it was when he was a kid. Only because he looks like a full grown person, instead of being a sweet little kid, and it makes your heart hurt at how big he’s getting. 

You know that Falco can tell what you’re thinking and he preemptively complains about it. 

“Y/N. Quit looking at me like that. You’re embarrassing me.” Falco states. 

“Do you remember when you threw up on me in first grade? Don’t talk to me about being  embarrassing.” you scold. 

Eren shakes you off, before gesturing for Falco to walk closer to him. Eren’s readjusting the collar against the coat, tightening the tie, before he gets up and rummages around in his drawers. 

“Okay, Falco. I’m going to let you borrow my cuff-links for the wedding, but you have to promise to take really good care of them, okay? These are really special to me.”  Eren states. 

“Really, Eren? You’re going to let me wear them?” 

Eren reaches forward to lightly mess with Falco’s hair, before he hands him the box. Falco sticks his hand out as Eren secures them on for him, before offering him a smile. Falco’s sheer excitement makes your heart flutter – and melt that Eren so freely offered something of his own – as Falco excitedly shows them to Gabi at his side. 

“You didn’t have to do that.” you whisper. 

Eren shrugs. 

“Of course, I did. It’s Falco.” Eren responds. 

Eren turns back to the two of them, watching the excitement on his face, as they thank him profusely. 

“What’s special about the cuff-links, Eren?” Gabi asks. 

“I wore them at one of my first award shows where I won something for Attack on Titan.” Eren states. 

Gabi curls her nose in disgust. 

“Eren. You hate award shows. You don’t even care about awards!” Gabi complains. 

“You’re right. I don’t. But, it was a pretty memorable one for me. Got my first tattoo, performed with Y/N for the first time.” 

You turn to him, as he gives you a knowing smile, and you shake your head. And he has the nerve to call Mikasa over-sentimental. 

“Wait, Gabi. I have something for you too.” 

Eren watches as you quickly rush to your room, noting that you must really be rummaging through things in your dresser since he can hear you drop things and shout in pain, before you run back with a little blue box in your hands. 

You hold it open for Gabi, as she admires the little earrings. 

“Do you like them?” you ask. 

“I love them, Y/N.” 

“You can wear them at the wedding. Here, I’ll put them on for you.” 

Gabi excitedly pushes her hair back, as you watch Falco with his lovesick eyes as he observes you fixing them. You tuck her hair behind her ears as you admire her dress in full, squeezing her wrists. 

“You look beautiful, Gabi. They’re perfect.”

“Thank you so much, Y/N. I love you so much.” 

You can’t help but frown as she presses herself into your arms, returning her warm embrace in full. You look over at Eren, who wraps his arm around Falco and smiles at you. 

“Gabi! You’re going to be the prettiest girl at the party. You should have at least given Mikasa a fighting chance.” Eren jokes, as you watch Gabi shake her head and blush at the compliment. 

“You’re corny, Eren.” Gabi responds. 

“Do you have a date to the party, Gabi? It would make my night if the prettiest girl at the party walked in with me.” 

Eren’s so sweet. It reminds you of how Levi used to be with Sasha. 

“Sorry, Eren! You snooze, you lose. Falco already asked me.” Gabi responds, linking in her arm with Falco’s. 

Eren clutches his hands to his chest, giving the two of them a dramatic display of hurt, before he puts his hand on Falco’s shoulder. 

“Fair enough. You’re a very worthy opponent, Falco. Make sure you put the cuff links and the earrings back in the box nicely. And again, if you rip your clothes, you are going to the wedding naked.” Eren states. 

It’s an innocent thought that crosses your mind. That Eren would be a really good dad, when it came to it. 

The two of them wrap their arms around you again before they run out of the room again and Eren turns to you, narrowing his eyes. 

“You’re a copycat. You only got the earrings idea from me.” 

“You’re just bitter because she gave me a bigger reaction than Falco gave you.” you bite back. 

Eren shakes his head, as he starts shuffling through the tagged clothes and looking for your dress. 

“Have to ask. What’s so special about the earrings?” Eren states. 

You smile. 

“I wore them to Levi and Hange’s vow renewal.” 

It was the first time you and Eren said that you loved each other.  Eren turns back, giving you a soft smile. 

“You’re a sap.” Eren responds. 

“Takes one to know one.” you respond. 

Eren places the dress at your side. You eye the silver beading through the little zipper, admiring Mikasa’s cursive handwriting on the little label. 

“So what do you need my help with?” Eren asks. 

“Oh. Well.” 

You tap the open spot next to you. 

“When we were going to the awards show, Jean told me something. I had asked him back then if he was delaying his wedding because you and I were fighting. He said that it wasn’t just that, but it was because…he wanted you as his best man and he was having a hard time letting go of that thought when it was how he always imagined his wedding.” 

Eren nods. You figured Jean had told him as much. 

“He said that he’s always imagined his wedding the same way. That Mikasa would have long hair, a short train but a long veil. That you would be the best man and I would be the maid of honor. And that we’d sing a song for them, one that we wrote together for their first dance.” you state. 

Eren smiles. 

“Fuck. Your gift is way better than mine.” 

You laugh. 

“Is not.” 

“You’re giving Jean his dream wedding. I’m giving Mikasa America’s Funniest Home Videos.” 

“She loves that show!” you defend. 

“Alright, alright. I’ll help you write the song.” 

--

Levi attempts to ban Connie from coming to set the day you’re filming the kiss scene. Naturally, Connie decides to sneak in by dressing up as one of the crew members, before he’s dragged out by the ear when Hange catches him. 

You count yourself lucky that Hange and Levi had thought ahead and made sure that the cabin scenes were the last ones that you filmed for the show. Dead last – meaning everyone would have already been gone by the time you and Eren actually prepared to film them. 

It was enough consolation that you’d be alone with Eren in the last few days, before it was all really over. Similar to the way it really started, just the two of you in the townhouse.  

Eren’s sitting high in the makeup chair, lazily reading through the lines of the script, as the artists paint deep red lines into the sides of his cheeks. You give him a halfhearted wave as you take a seat a few feet away, cracking all your knuckles in nervous anticipation as they start powdering your face. 

Levi and Hange walk over, hands on their hips, as they look over to the two of you for weary eyes.

“Are you ready?” Levi asks. 

You give him a nod, Eren shooting two thumbs up to them, as they both squint their eyes. They don’t believe you.  

“Just one kiss. It’s not a big deal – you’re both grown adults. And you’ve done it before! So it’s not awkward. If anything, it’s like a peck. Just a quick one and you’ll be good, Y/N.” Hange adds. 

Eren glares at Hange.

“If it’s not awkward, why are you being weird about it?” Eren deadpans. 

Hange deflates. 

“Right then. Well, legs up in five!” Hange responds, before shuffling off to the other side of the room with Levi. You can hear the two of the murmuring under their breaths, rolling your eyes at how utterly disbelieving the two of them were of you. 

You turn to Eren, the two of you giving each other a shared annoyed look, before you turn back and focus on the scene at hand. You watch as the entire crew tasks themselves with testing the lights, pulling the cameras into view, and scribbling quickly on the clapperboard. 

It’s fairly simple. You just have to stand there and kiss him. No lines, no big confession – just one kiss.  

The cast stages you and Eren – bustling hands fixing the lapels of your clothes, the stray strands of your hair as you and Eren look at each other. 

“Hey.” 

Eren smiles. He seems fairly calm, considering things. You on the other hand, you can’t help but feel that bubbling ball of anxiety pulsating in your stomach. 

“Hi Y/N. How are you today?” 

“I’m good. Good, good. You?” you respond. 

“Great.” Eren responds. 

You shove your hands into your pockets, wiping the accumulating sweat on the inside of the pants, when you feel the little plastic box in your pocket. 

“I have something for you actually.” you add. 

You pull the box of Tic-Tacs out of your pocket, before holding them out in front of Eren. He gives you a hearty laugh, before cupping his hands and holding them out to you and you pour three in his hand, before downing your own. 

“That was very self-preservationist of you. But, I’ll have you know that I didn’t eat anything all day just to avoid this type of issue.” 

You snort. 

“No way.” 

“They had pizza for lunch. God forbid I taste like marinara sauce when you kiss me. I’m not a dog.” Eren responds. 

“I’ll admit. I did eat the pizza, but then I vigorously brushed my teeth for like five minutes.” you respond. 

Eren smiles, placing his hands on his cheeks. 

“All for me? I’m flattered, Y/N.” 

You smile. 

“Okay. So, like…do we need a gameplan? Do I lean towards the right? The left? Do you have a preference? Because I can –” 

You watch as Eren’s eyes go wide, as he looks at you like you’ve grown another head. 

You can tell that he’s trying not to laugh. You glare at him, huffing as you cross your hands over your chest. 

“What?” you seethe. 

“Are you…staging a kiss right now?” 

“Just so we’re on the same page! You know, I don’t want to just lunge at you and catch you off guard.” you respond. 

Eren smiles, before reaching forward and placing one of his hands on your neck. He uses his thumb to rub into the softness of your cheek, before narrowing his eyes at you. You can tell what he’s trying to say. 

Relax. 

“Okay, okay. I’ll just do what feels right. Sorry for being weird.” you respond. 

Eren shrugs. 

“S’not weird. I just think you’re overthinking it. We’ve done it hundreds of times. It’s on your move anyways, so you’re in control.” Eren responds. 

“You guys ready?” 

You and Eren look over at Levi and Hange, their legs crossed in the director’s chair, as you give them a nod. You turn back to Eren, who gives you a mini-salute, as you back up a few steps and shake your hands at your sides. 

“Alright, Y/N, we’re rolling. On your move.” Levi calls. 

It’s like your feet are cemented into the ground. You can feel the unease that had been pooling in your stomach all day wash over you as you become acutely aware of how thick and warm the air is. It’s almost like it’s weighing down on you – hanging heavy on your skin, nearly throwing you off balance. 

You try to shake the feeling off, shutting your eyes before cracking each of the knuckles in your fingers. You can see it out of your peripheral vision, Levi shifting his head to the side to look at Hange, and the embarrassment bubbles in your throat. 

“I’m good. I just need a second, sorry.” 

Levi shakes his head. 

“Take your time. Whatever feels right.” Levi responds, giving you a comforting enough smile. 

It’s just a kiss. You’ve done it hundreds of times. 

The walk towards him, though it’s only two or three steps, is excruciatingly long. The clothes are too starched, too constricting, as you reach forward, and press your hands to Eren’s cheeks. The makeup pressed to his skin comes off on your hand, as you tilt his head up – slotting your lips against his. 

Eren’s quick with it. His lips quickly glide over yours, the familiar taste of the mint you had just offered him lingering, as he lifts his hands too, pulling your face closer to his. 

Eren can feel it – your entire body freezing against his, like the first time he had ever kissed you. The urge to swoop in and fix it, even though you’re the one who was supposed to take the lead is too overwhelming. 

He knows it’ll crush you if you don’t do it right. 

(And maybe Eren’s a little selfish.)

You can feel the blood rushing to your head, as Eren brings his hands up – one hand cupping your cheek and the other one slithering around your back to pull you closer. You nearly gasp into his mouth as he leans forward this time, the softness of his hands making you melt in his hands. 

It’s Eren. Tender, soft, and intoxicating. You don’t want to stop. You return the kiss in full this time, properly leaning forward and giving it back. 

But Eren’s the one who pulls away, resting his head against your forehead, as he lightly squeezes at your neck, where his hands are resting. You’re both panting in tandem, eyes still pinched shut and foreheads pressed together, as you swallow hard and try to catch your breath. 

“Hey guys. Quick note for you.” 

You both flinch at the sound of Hange’s voice in your ears, awkwardly taking a step away from each other, as a different embarrassment washes over you. You avert your eyes from Eren and look at Hange, who shoots you a weird look before focusing back on Eren. 

“Hm? What, Hange?” Eren mumbles. You can see him out of your peripheral vision – lifting his fingers and pressing them to his lips, a slight shake in his hand. 

“Eren, honey. She just decapitated you. Like, cut your head off. You are dead.” Hange clarifies. 

“Right?” Eren hums. 

“So, you can’t use your hands to kiss her. You don’t have hands anymore! And…and that was way too lively for someone who is supposed to be dead. Tone down the excitement a little.” Hange responds before shuffling off, as Eren’s cheeks go bright pink. 

Eren turns back to you, giving you a sheepish smile, as you shake your head. 

There was no need to be embarrassed. Not when you were the one who led wrong and he was trying to fix it. 

Not when you enjoyed that way more than you should have. 

Eren watches as you march back to your spot, shaking your hands at your side, as you fix your hair. Eren turns back to look at Hange and feels the humiliation increase when they mouth something that looks an awful lot like touch starved. 

Eren throws the thought out of his mind as he leans back again, tucking his hands behind his back. The situation is less than ideal, with his eyes closed – because Eren doesn’t really clock that you’re kissing him until you’re actually doing it. 

It’s your sweet hands cradling his face and then the warmth against his lips – before he can feel himself sinking into your embrace.

You can tell that Eren’s more apprehensive this time, as you flutter your eyes shut and lightly bump your nose against his on accident. You pull him up closer to you, scanning his face and smiling, before you lean forward and rub into the skin on his cheek. You can’t help but smile as you lean forward, the anticipation palpable as you press your lips to his. 

Eren can still feel his heart thrumming, at the way you’re so carefully holding him like glass, while making him feel like his body was on fire. He’s caught off guard when he feels your tongue against his, unable to contain his smile. 

You pull back, your lips burning and skin humming, as Eren looks at you, with a soft smile on his face. You give his cheek a little pinch, which he responds to by giving you a wink, before Levi walks over – his hands crossed over his chest. 

Eren groans. 

“What did I do now?” 

“Not you, Eren. Y/N. Well, you too, but she started it. Y/N, you just murdered the love of your life. LIke fully, had to be the one to murder him even though you didn’t want to because you were the only one strong enough to do it.” 

“Right.” 

“Could you not…smile into the kiss? You have no reason to be smiling.”

You cringe. 

“Right! Right, so sorry, Levi. Won’t happen again.” 

“Okay, because. You smile and then he smiles because you did. And again, just for extreme clarification, he is dead. This is supposed to be sad.” 

Levi rolls his eyes, as he shuffles back to the chair. You spare him a glance while Eren isn’t looking and he mouths something that looks an awful lot like the word freak. You shake him off, as you turn back to Eren, giving him a sheepish smile. 

“Sorry.” you offer. 

“Not a problem. I love it when you smile.” Eren responds, running his fingers over his lips again before he drops them. 

You can feel your head spinning. 

“Okay. Last one.” you clarify. 

“Third time’s a charm, princess.” Eren responds. 

You walk back to the spot, before you wait for Levi to give you the cue. And this time, walk forward as slowly as you can and repeat it to yourself. No hands, no smiling, no tongue.  

You reach forward, placing your hands around his neck, and lean forward. You slide your lips over his, circling your fingers into his neck to ground yourself into the touch rather than his intoxicating smell, as you kiss him. It’s overwhelmingly tender this time – the way you linger over him, before you pull back and let go. 

But the second you pull apart, it’s an immediate pang in your chest. It felt too final. 

“That was great guys! That’s the one.” Hange responds, as you look over and give them a smile. 

You awkwardly drop your hands, letting go of Eren, as he offers you a polite smile in response, holding out his hand to give you a high-five. You oblige, slapping your hand into his, though you can’t help but notice that the smile he gave barely reached his eyes. 

--

On your way out, you can feel the steaming that was pooling under your skin fizzle out as you walk out into the cold air, as you start marching on the pavement back to the townhouse. You prepare yourself for the unnecessary barrage of questions, and for how irritating Connie can be, as you push into the foyer. 

When you walk into the main room, it’s unexpectedly quieter than you thought it was going to be, the faint sound of the piano getting louder as you walk closer. And when you push into the room, the quiet warmth that was blooming under your skin is replaced with an ice cold pinch when you catch sight of what’s happening. 

Historia’s playing the piano, for the group of them. 

Mikasa looks up at you immediately, giving you wide eyes, as you press your hands to your temples, and look to your left. Jean and Connie give you the same look, the group of you all sweltering in the awkwardness, as you avert your gaze back to Historia. 

You booked the night train for a reason So you could sit there in this hurt

Bustling crowds or silent sleepers You're not sure which is worse

Because I dropped your hand while dancing Left you out there standing Crestfallen on the landing Champagne problems

Your mom's ring in your pocket My picture in your wallet Your heart was glass, I dropped it Champagne problems

Eren walks in right behind you, nearly bumping into you, as you press your hand to his forearm and squeeze hard. 

“Wha-” 

“Be quiet!” you whisper. 

Eren gives you a puzzled look, as you watch his eyes scan around the room, and watch the realization register in his face. He looks down at you, giving you an awkward look, as you shake your head. The two of you avert your gaze to the left again, to find Sofia crying with one of her hands pressed to her chest. 

How evergreen, our group of friends Don't think we'll say that word again And soon they'll have the nerve to deck the halls That we once walked through

One for the money, two for the show I never was ready, so I watch you go Sometimes you just don't know the answer 'Til someone's on their knees and asks you

"She would've made such a lovely bride What a shame she's fucked in the head, " they said But you'll find the real thing instead She'll patch up your tapestry that I shred

Watching Ymir is like watching someone get sucker punched in the face in real time. It reminds you of the same reaction that Eren gave you the other day, while you were filming, a visceral physical reaction. You watch as Ymir stumbles back, nearly loses her balance, as the tears start collecting in her eyes. 

And even worse, watch as Sofia tries to reach for her but Ymir pushes her away. 

And hold your hand while dancing Never leave you standing Crestfallen on the landing With champagne problems

Your mom's ring in your pocket Her picture in your wallet You won't remember all my Champagne problems

You won't remember all my Champagne problems

The second she stops playing, Ymir runs up the stairs – her feet leaving a pounding sound before the door slams shut. And you watch as Sofia takes a deep and heavy breath, before running out the front door. 

--

You find Sofia two hours later, a block and a half away from the townhouse, on a bench. You reach down, picking up her bike off of where it’s toppled on the concrete, and rest it against the edge of the armrest, before taking the seat next to her. 

Sofia doesn’t hesitate to talk – like almost half of the people you know. 

“Is Ymir okay?” she asks. 

You shake your head. 

“Last I know, Eren and Mikasa went to talk to her. I’m sure they talked her down.” you respond. 

Sofia gives you a nod, inhaling shakily, as she hikes her knees to her chest. You can barely see her face – the hood pulled over her head obscuring her face – as she presses her cheeks into her knees. 

“I didn’t think she was going to sing it. I’m really sorry, I –” 

“Did you know that Historia asked Ymir to get back together with her yesterday?” 

You deflate. 

“Yes. She told me right before I went to film with Eren.” you respond. 

Sofia doesn’t respond. It’s chilling – to see someone you’ve only seen smiling for the past week and a half so defeated in one fell swoop. And even more than that, knowing how small it can feel to be competing with things that feel larger than life, in an entire world that you don’t feel like you’re a part of. 

“Ymir said no. I know she really loves you.” you offer. 

“I know she did. She came and told me right after it happened. She walked in all hot and heavy, nearly red in the face, pissed at the audacity Historia had to say that.” Sofia states. 

She pulls her hood back, resting her head against the back of the bench, as she flutters her eyes shut. 

“There’s nothing that…that gets Ymir moving like Historia. Whether she’s mad…or happy…or sad, no one can make Ymir feel as much as Historia does. If Historia and her have a good talk about how they’re always going to be important to each other, she’s on top of the fucking world. If she gets on her hands and knees and begs for her back, it’s enough to send her into a blind rage. And if she sings a song about how she got away…it’s enough to send her sobbing into her room.” 

You swallow hard. 

“I feel like I’m intruding on people who are meant to be. I don’t think I should be here.” she adds, her voice cracking. 

You shake your head.

“Ymir really loves you, I-I can just tell by the way that she looks at you. It would kill her if you left, Sofia.” 

She shrugs. 

“I know I’m never going to be Historia. And I know that first loves and…and sexual awakenings or whatever are sacred to people, but…I can’t sit here when I’m not even a part of the competition. I’m smart enough to know when two people still care about each other more than they should. I feel like I’m committing a fucking crime by keeping them apart.” Sofia responds. 

You bite down into the hardness of your cheek, before leaning your head against her shoulder. She welcomes the touch, leaning her own against yours before you break the silence. 

“I don’t necessarily think you’re wrong. There isn’t anyone that gets Ymir going like Historia. But that doesn’t mean that they’re right for each other. It doesn’t mean that you aren’t Ymir’s perfect match.” you respond. 

You shift. 

“Just because Ymir gets to these big…big emotions with Historia doesn’t make her better than you. In fact, I think that’s the leg that you have up on her. Why you’re the one who is marrying Ymir and not her.” 

“Really?” she whispers. 

“I’m not sure how familiar you are with Jean and Mikasa’s situation but –” 

“I know. Jean slept over at our house once when they were fighting. We ate ice cream together at three in the morning and talked till the sun rose.” 

You smile. 

“Jean told me that there’s lots of different types of love that you have in your life. And I just think that there’s one person…or one situation that deeply cuts into you, so hard that it changes you. I think that’s what Historia is for Ymir. Because to her, it must have been devastating that she would have done anything, that she could have changed herself any type of way, and she still wouldn’t be enough for her. I think that would get anyone moving, being reminded of the deep hurt, the complicated feelings that come with that person.” you respond. 

You feel your phone buzz, as you look at the little screen. 

[eren]: did you find her?  [eren]: ymir wants to see her.  [eren]: really badly. 

You respond back, before turning back to her. You have to turn this around for Ymir. 

“The big feelings aren’t the ones you chase after, Sofia. They fizzle out eventually, when the spark is gone. You pick based on comfort, on consistency. And Historia’s never…been consistent. She could never give Ymir what she wanted like you could. Like you do.” 

Sofia gives you a halfhearted smile. 

“You’re really sweet, Y/N. I really like you.” 

You smile, your chest panging with hurt. 

“I really like you too, Sofia. I hope you know that Historia didn’t do any of that to hurt you. She just…feels first, thinks second. It’s how she’s always been. And it’s not fair to you, but…but I hope you know it’s not personal. Or anything about you.” 

Sofia puts a hand on your shoulder. 

“Thanks.” 

You can tell that she’s ruminating over your words and the two of you sit there quietly, dangling your legs over the side of the bench, as you wait for Ymir. Your stomach rumbles loudly, as you shoot her an apologetic smile. 

“Sorry. I didn’t take my lunch after Eren and I were done filming.” 

Sofia’s eyes light up, through the redness and puffiness. 

“Didn’t you kiss?” 

You groan. You only oblige the conversation because you know she means well. 

“Yes. We kissed.” 

“Was it hot?” Sofia asks. 

You snort. 

“Um…kind of. I accidentally used my tongue the second time.” 

Sofia gasps, excitedly pressing her hands to her chest as she leans forward. 

“The second time? Meaning you did it more than once?” you ask. 

You bury your face in your hands. 

“Three times. He…he got too into it the first time. Then I got too into it the second time. It’s supposed to be a really sad scene but –”  

“But you guys are horny, I get it.” Sofia finishes. 

“We’re not–” 

“Ymir says you guys eye fuck each other. I thought she was being kind of crude, but you really do.” 

You groan. 

“Sofia–” 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry! You guys are actually really cute and I hope you don’t think we’re all pressuring you. I just think it’s really neat the little things you guys do for each other. Connie was telling me about the mints that you got him before you kissed.” 

“Oh. Yeah. I was just kind of trying to break the ice so he was comfortable and stuff.” 

“No, I totally get what you mean. Okay, like. The first time Ymir and I went on a date, I was so ready to kiss her – I had been thinking about it all week. And before we got into the car, I ate an entire box of Altoids.” 

“An entire box? Doesn’t that get painful after a while?” 

“Listen, she’s like way out of my league. I had to impress her! Plus, it gets rid of that doubt in my head when I lean in and stuff.” 

“You wanted to impress her with minty breath?” 

“Okay, don’t question my methods. She’s my fianceé now. After we kissed and I went home,  Ymir told me that she really enjoyed it. So every time I went to see her, I would eat another box just so that she would enjoy it again.” 

“You know that Ymir hates mints, right?” 

“Is this just common knowledge that everyone knew or something? I literally had no idea. Mikasa told me a month later and I was fucking furious. God, I never bought another pack again.” Sofia complains. 

“You didn’t? I thought you said it got rid of the doubt.” 

“Yeah but, why would I? She doesn’t like them. I got over it.” Sofia states. 

You pause, leaning your head back. You refuse to comment on it, because winning her over was Ymir’s battle. And you surely hoped Ymir would be able to do it, because this was, in fact, her perfect match. 

Who would give up trivial things for her, like kneeling on the ground or chugging mints, just because Ymir asked. Just because it would make her happier. 

“How did Connie know I gave Eren the mints? Hange kicked him out.” you state. 

“Oh. He climbed onto the roof. That kiss was really important to him and Mikasa.” Sofia states. 

You roll your eyes. 

“Of course it was.” 

You scoff, before shaking your head. It’s enough to make her laugh through her tears. And surely enough, Ymir and Eren appear after twenty minutes – out of breath and panting. You take the cue and jump off the bench, reaching for Eren’s outstretched hand, as the two of you quietly walk back to the townhouse and leave them to it. 

“They’ll be fine.” Eren murmurs, trying to pull you into walking the other way. He’s trying to reassure you. 

You look up at him and smile. 

“Yeah, I’m sure they will be.”

--

Jean and Mikasa don’t do bachelor or bachelorette parties. Early on, Eren had clocked that something like that, a party celebrating them get married without the other present, wasn’t something that wouldn’t even be remotely fun to them. 

But you still had to do something. Which is why Eren settled for throwing the two of them a laid back party after filming at the end of the week, with enough alcohol for them to get drunk to their hearts desire. 

“Sometimes I have genuine concern for how their livers are still functioning.” Eren states. 

You avert your gaze from Gabi and Falco – who are sitting in the corner playing a very intense game of cards together and giggling – to Jean and Mikasa, who are very drunkenly dancing with Niccolo and Sasha, who unfortunately got roped into it. 

“Tell me about it.” you respond. 

You can’t help but smile as Niccolo takes turns spinning Mikasa around, as Sasha and Jean attempt a very dangerous version of a dip, which results in Jean dropping her flat on the floor. Eren’s ready to jump up, but Armin gestures for him to keep sitting before jumping up. 

“Sometimes I think it’s sweet though. I think back to all those award shows and realize that they probably had a really great time together. Just dancing together, enjoying each other's company.” you respond. 

“Yeah. That first one we did though was really fun. I mean, Sukuna and the lollipop thing was like really fucking annoying. But besides that, I really liked that we were all just sitting together having a good time.” 

You snort. 

“Do you ever think about how…important moments seem after the fact? And that…sometimes you don’t really know how much something will mean later?” you ask. 

“What do you mean?” 

“When we went to Seattle, I was talking with Lana. And I was telling her that Sukuna and I are nowhere near as close as you and her are. And she was telling me that Sukuna and I were like that. And that back then, when I met him, I was the one of the first people to kind of… understand that he was joking. To not immediately think bad of him or be weirded out by it, I guess.” you respond. 

Eren shrugs. 

“I guess. I mean, you showing up for my birthday dinner, it must have seemed to you that I was being so reserved when I left with Hyla. But that was the moment for me that I knew I wanted to be out of that thing, that kind of started everything.” Eren responds. 

You feel your cheeks heat up. And you’re sure that the four shots that Mikasa gave you earlier, the slight buzz in your veins, is what makes you say it. 

“This is one of them too. The important moments I’ll look back on.” you respond. 

You watch as Eren’s eyes go wide, before he awkwardly scratches at the back of his neck and smiles at the ground. 

“How so?” 

“All of this time that I get to spend with you. It’s up there, with everything else.” 

Eren reaches forward, linking his hand in with yours, before he squeezes three times. 

“Me too.” 

The two of you keep your hands that way, linked together and raised in the air, before the wind nearly gets knocked out of you by Jean leaning his entire weight on you. You can see that Mikasa is doing the same to Eren, hands tangled around his neck and nearly strangling him. 

“Did you guys know you’re the best maid of honor and best man ever?” Mikasa whines. 

Eren takes her hands, untangling them from cutting off his circulation, before letting her lean against his shoulder. You can see that he’s pleasantly surprised from the affection, wrapping his arm around her and leaning his head against hers as well. 

“Yes, Mikasa. We know.” Eren responds. 

“Stop being cocky, Eren.” Jean grumbles, as you turn your head to the side to smile at him. 

“Yeah, Eren.” you respond, emphasizing each syllable as he rolls his eyes. 

Eren shakes his head at the two of you, before looking down at Mikasa. 

“Are you ready for your gift, Mika?” Eren asks. 

“What? Really?” 

Eren gives her a nod as she nearly jumps up with excitement, teetering on the heels of her feet as Eren momentarily disappears to grab the little tape. Jean looks down at you, giving you a steely glare, as you roll your eyes. 

“What, Jean?”

“You are getting me a gift, right?” 

“Do you think I’m a nutjob? Obviously, I’m getting you a gift. You’re getting married.” 

“It better blow my fucking mind, Y/N. I have seriously high hopes after finding out what Eren got Mikasa.” 

You grin. 

“Trust me. It’s going to be everything you wanted and more.” 

Jean glares at you. 

“I don’t like your tone. If it’s a gag gift, you’re not meeting any of my children.” 

“They’re also Mikasa’s children. She’ll let me see them.” 

“No, I won’t let her.” 

“You don’t own the kids, Jean.” 

“The fuck do you mean? They’re my kids.” 

You elbow him in the sides. 

“These aren’t even real kids yet! Why are you getting territorial over people who don’t even exist yet?” 

Mikasa slings her arm around both of your shoulders, before squeezing the two of you way too hard under her grip. The two of you give each other wide eyes as she nearly cuts off your circulation and scolds both of you. 

“Why are you guys always so mean to each other? I thought you guys were getting along.” 

“We do get along!” Jean responds. 

“So along! We’re two peas in a pod!” you respond. 

Mikasa slightly loosens her grip as Eren walks up, twisting the little CD in his hand, as he eyes the three of you. She absentmindedly links her arm in with his and Jean, as Jean and Eren mimic their motions and loop you into the circle. 

There’s tears bubbling in her eyes, as you and Eren spare each other a glance, and prepare yourself for the waterworks that are going to follow. Mikasa was always an emotional drunk. 

“Thank you guys for planning such a good party for us. And for being really good friends to us.” Mikasa responds, voice cracking. 

You smile, cheeks nearly hurting, as you squeeze Eren and Jean’s arms. 

“Of course, Mikasa. You-” 

“We’re never going to be able to repay you both. I never forgot how many times you both took the fall for us back in the day whenever Levi got mad at us for switching our rooms around. And that you guys always did it whenever we asked.” 

Eren shakes his head. 

“I promise that we wanted to switch rooms just as badly as you guys did. Relax, Mikasa.” 

“I want you guys to be so happy. You guys are both such good people that it makes my heart hurt. You’re so, so perfect for each other.” 

You can feel Eren stiffen at your side as your cheeks heat up, the awkwardness sweltering in the air. 

“Thank you, Mikasa. That’s very sweet of you.” 

“I want my kids to be like ring bearers or flower girls at your wedding! I want our kids to be best friends like we were best friends and make those stupid videos like we used to do back in the day.” 

“Speaking of those videos, can I give you your gift now, Mikasa?” Eren asks. 

Mikasa lifts her hands, wiping the wetness off of her face, as she nods. Eren walks towards the TV, setting up the little video player, as you grab the group of them and signal them to join you around the couch to watch the video. 

The song starts playing, the soft little piano, of a song you had coincidentally written about Jean and Mikasa years prior. You and Jean had visited Mikasa on the set of one of her old films, Emma, and you had half heartedly scribbled some lyrics about it. You were able to find the old book in the back of your drawers and piece it together properly with Armin and Niccolo’s help. 

When Emma falls in love, she paces the floor Closes the blinds and locks the door When Emma falls in love, she calls up her mom Jokes about the ways that this one could go wrong She waits and takes her time 'Cause Little Miss Sunshine always thinks it's gonna rain When Emma falls in love, I know That boy will never be the same

'Cause she's the kind of book that you can't put down Like if Cleopatra grew up in a small town And all the bad boys would be good boys If they only had a chance to love her And to tell you the truth, sometimes I wish I was her

Eren pieced together the perfect videos. You’re positive that he’s stolen from all of Levi’s old tapes, as well as the dumb camera that the group of you all used in the early seasons. The clips are all of Jean and Mikasa – of such seemingly unimportant moments that nearly make your heart burst at the sight of the two of them now. 

There’s sprinkles of you and Eren in the videos, of the two of you recording them in the background holding hands when you were trying to catch their attention. And of Connie and Reiner just blowing kissy faces at them or Sasha and Bertholdt trying to imitate the two of them. 

Nearly everyone’s laughing at the clips – at how little Jean and Mikasa look at all of the clips – and Mikasa secures her hand in with yours. 

“Is that you singing? Did you write this song about me?” 

“Yeah. Way back when you filmed Emma.” 

You can see her face curl up in emotion, before she leans her head against your shoulder. She still has one of her hands wrapped in with Eren’s, stopping every few seconds to give him a really big smile that you can tell means the world to him. 

Emma met a boy with eyes like a man Turns out her heart fits right in the palm of his hand Now he'll be her shelter when it rains Little does he know, his whole world's about to change

'Cause she's the kind of book that you can't put down Like if Cleopatra grew up in a small town And all the bad boys would be good boys If they only had a chance to love her And to tell you the truth, sometimes I wish I was her Yeah, between me and you, sometimes I wish I was her

The clip ends with the group of you hugging, when you had finished wrapping season one. You remember the moment distinctly – the dread that came with it. Because you didn’t know if you were going to get a season two, if anyone was even going to like the show, or if you’d ever see any of them again. 

Armin initiates it first, by leaning forward over the couch and wrapping his arm around Eren and Mikasa. And then one by one, you’re all piling on each other – warm tears in your eyes as everyone ruffles Jean and Mikasa’s hair – the two of them pink in the face with their tears. 

You stand up to pop the CD out of the box as you watch Eren and Mikasa give each other a long hug, Eren responding warmly to the babbling mess coming out of her mouth. 

“Eren. Eren, I love you so much.” 

“I love you too, Mikasa.” 

“This is perfect. This is so perfect, you’re one of my best friends ever, you know that?” 

Eren laughs, before placing both of his hands on her shoulders. 

“You’re one of my best friends too, Mikasa. Save one dance for me at the wedding, okay?” 

“Of course. Of course, of course we have to dance together. You can’t leave me hanging, Eren.” 

“This was my idea! And you’re the one who’s going to be so busy. Just don’t forget me.” 

You’re caught off guard from watching the two of them when you feel a tapping on your shoulder to find Ymir at your side. You give her a smile as you both lean against the wall. 

“Hey.” 

“I was wondering if you could do me a favor. You can say no.” Ymir states. 

“Yeah, of course. What’s up?” 

“That was…a really sweet song you wrote about Mikasa. I’ve always really loved how you can feel the emotion in songs you write.” 

You smile. 

“Is there any way that you could write a song with me? About Sofia? Because, we’re good but I want her to know that she means the world to me. And she’s been a fan of yours for so long that I think that it would be something that was really special to her. And I know that things are complicated because of Historia and that you might have picked a side, but I’m just asking you for this as your friend and –” 

“I’m on your side too.” you state. 

“Hm?” 

“Historia is my friend. But you are too. And I want you and Sofia to be happy, I really like her and I really like you.” 

You watch as Ymir deflates. 

“Really?” 

“You’re meant to be together. I think that she can really love you in the way that you deserve.” 

Ymir leans forward, uncharacteristically affectionate, as she wraps her arms around you and squeezes your arms. 

“You’re a really good person, Y/N.” Ymir states. 

You laugh. 

“You must be as drunk as Mikasa.” 

“No, no I really mean it. You always have really good intentions at heart. I know that your whole lover girl branding must be…frustrating to look at after everything that happened. But that’s always who you’ve been, with all of us. It’s a really good part of you.” Ymir states. 

You smile. 

“You’re speaking really highly of me. All I did was say I was going to write a song with you, Ymir.” 

“I think you deserve really good things. People have given you way too much hurt than you deserve.” 

--

The following morning, you’re able to snag Armin to help you play Ymir’s song for Sofia. And surely enough, you can feel it radiating as you watch her face light up, the way she nearly beams at the two of you as you sing. 

You sit abandoned in the room, hours after Armin, Ymir, and Sofia trickle away. 

Only because it’s so overwhelming that it nearly suffocates you. The love in the room. 

Ymir and Sofia. Jean and Mikasa and Gabi and Falco. The way Eren and Armin have reconciled and how you always see Levi smiling at you from the back of the room when the group of you are messing around. 

You’re so full of it that you can barely breathe, so nervously anxious that it makes your stomach hurt. 

“You okay?” 

You look up to find Eren looking down at you. At the love in the room, staring at you so intently. 

“Yeah.” 

“I had a question.” 

You tap the open seat on the couch next to you, shuffling to the side, as he joins you. 

“Sure. What’s up?”

You watch as Eren leans forward on his knees, eyes trained on the ground as he cracks through each of the knuckles in his fingers. 

“You can say no. You don’t have to feel obligated to answer in any way because it was just an idea I had. I won’t be hurt if you don’t want to, or…or had other plans I don’t know about because you’re obviously entitled to that! And you know, it’s a harmless type of thing that I just wanted to –” 

“Eren.” 

He pauses, looking up at you. 

“Just ask.” you finish. 

“Will you be my date to the wedding?” Eren asks. 

You feel the butterflies swarming in your stomach as you smile at him, squeezing your hands into fists as you hold them close to your chest. 

“Really?” 

“Yeah. Yeah, I want to go with you. We’re doing a song together and…and we’re all good. It would be nice to be together, like we did back when we wrote invisible string. That and I kind of need you to point out all the love in the room for me just so I can remember it all.” Eren responds. 

You smile. 

“Of course. We’ll take turns. I’ll point one out and then you.” 

Eren grins. 

“Deal.” 

You reach forward, placing your pointer finger against his chest. He looks down before looking back up at you, confused. 

“What?” he asks. 

“You just asked me to point out the love in the room.” 

You watch as Eren leans his head back, unable to contain his smile, as he shoves your hand away and mimics the motion by pointing back.

--

next chapter linked here

an: anyways ymir requests a song about her relationship with historia later on and they write you're losing me. and yes, you're losing me and champagne problems end up being about the same relationship. also historia being so jo march coded by saying she would accept ymir's proposal now that she's actually with someone else and can't have her....anyways jeankasa wedding oh we cried

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[sonofthesaiyans]

Crack Poll! WHO TO SACRIFICE?

Okay, I got another quick one for you folks. AND.........I hope to actually see a few more responses this time because the last poll was pretty disappointing. As I said before, unless you intend to respond/reblog......you're advised to just move along.

Also if you're a Warrior fan, you may hate my guts. And I'm okay with that.....

Okay, Attack on Titan: The Final Season. Three Warriors, the last of the Shifters loyal to Marley....

You need no explanation. You all know they got the blood of thousands, if not millions all over their hands, on both sides no less. In this cruel world, why should mercy be granted to those who helped drive it into oblivion? I think we know who the real devils of this story are......Gotta love the irony of it all.

And yes, I could've made special mention of the little she-devil on Pieck's arm there folks, but if you've spent enough time here, you know she has no outs here. She signed her death warrant long ago.

So, you stand in the ashes of this dead world, you've been handed your blade.......or your rifle if you prefer......Who's the one who you send to meet the Founder herself? Take your pick.

They've gotten too many free passes in this story, off with the plot armor folks, in Reiner and Annie's cases literal plot armor; somebody's got to die.

[sincerely-anascot]

He should have never let you go.

That day when he walked you down the altar—was it any different to sending you off to your demise?

Erwin received a missive from the Military Police in the early morning. Levi arrived at Mitras in record speed, his mare at the verge of collapse when he handed the reigns to the stable hand.

The mansion was huge, bigger than the former Survey Corps Headquarters. And while he thought such a gaudy thing never suited you he was at least comforted by the fact that you had all your needs met and more. Your marriage may have been a sham to support the regiment yet he swore that a man that openly proclaimed so much admiration for you would cherish you.

“You must be Captain Levi.” A man with a white cloth over his nose and mouth met him at the top of the stairs leading to the second story of the mansion.

Levi followed through the gilded corridor, the sound of footsteps barely eclipsing the sound of his rapidly beating heart.

The room was as lavish as the rest of the building; filled with furnitures and trinkets he would never be able to afford. At the center of it all was an expansive four-poster bed and on it was a memory that would haunt him for the rest of his life.

Varying colors of bruises riddled your skin. Your once bright and eager eyes that seemed to wander to unseen lands stared up at him devoid of life. Cheeks sunken and limbs so thin, his mother may as well be lying before him again.

“There are signs of abuse that can be dated to weeks back. Starvation and dehydration played their parts too but ultimately, her death was due to blood loss from the multiple stabs wounds she sustained.” The medical examiner sounded too clinical for Levi’s liking.

It felt like torture almost—to hear about how much you suffered. So, he held the urge to punch the man in the nose because Levi thought he deserved the punishment.

“We tried to quickly operate on her upon her request but we couldn’t save the child either.”

A ringing began to grow in Levi’s ears. Bile started to gather up his throat. He could barely register the words ‘escape’, ‘fight’, and ‘self-defense’ coming from the medical examiner’s mouth but it was enough to form a gruesome story that had the captain spilling his guts at the foot of the bed.

The thought of you starting the family you always wanted and he could never give you was a balm that soothed his loneliness and bitter days.

He didn’t hear the doors closing as he was left alone to drown in his retch and vicious sobs.

Hours later, a maid silently slipped a tray carrying a jug of water, a glass, and a stringed, pile of letters beside where he knelt holding your hand at the side of the bed.

When he has exhausted himself from crying, Levi helped himself to the letters—all of them were addressed to him.

He opened the one dated on the day of your wedding. Not even half-way through he drops it on the floor and shakily stands up ignoring the numbness in his knees.

For the first time since he came into the room, he spots the bundle by your side.

He strides to the opposite side of the bed, legs heavy as if he was weaving through muck. Hand seasoned with battle trembling when he reached over to pull the fabric open.

The almost translucent skin doesn’t take away from the softness of the babe. If his fingers didn’t feel the coldness of the infant’s cheeks, he would’ve mistaken it to be peacefully asleep.

Fresh tears stained the swaddle as he lifted the unmoving bundle to his chest.

Levi whispered with deep regret and longing,

“Hello, son. Daddy’s here.”

[little-spoiled-brat]

Hi there can I get a Levi Ackerman x reader fic please? Levi and reader were together in the underground and he managed to save enough to get her out and she promised she will come back for him. After she left was when he met Furlan and Isabel so they don’t know who reader is. When reader finally saved enough to get Levi out, Levi wasn’t in the underground anymore. She didn’t know that he was recruited by Erwin. She volunteers with the survey corp doctors and gets along with Isabel and one day before the mission outside the walls, she opens up to reader and reader learns that Levi is still alive. After the mission and hearing about the death of his friends, she seeks him out and takes him to her home and comforts him. Some angst about Levi being bitter that she never came back although he kept telling her he never expected her to and thinking reader forgot about him until reader pulls out a huge bag full of letters and the money she saved up. Letters she wrote every month for him to give to him when they reunited. Told him he can do as he wishes with the money as she doesn’t want it. Then fluff ensues and reader and Levi make up. Thank you x

pairing: levi x reader

cw: a very long one full of angst, bring tissues because it's an emotional rollercoaster

- reunited lovers -

"no. i'm staying here with you" you said, holding onto levi's wrists as he caressed your cheekbones with his thumbs.

for somebody who gets the chance to leave the slums of the underground, you should be happy, anybody will be happy to see that little piece of paper securing a citizenship on the surface. it would be life changing for anybody, well, anybody but you.

you grew up in the underground city with levi, you went through a lot of ups and downs with him. it was always your goal to get out of there and move in a cozy house on the surface together, not like this.

"this was our plan, wasn't it? to get to the surface. this is it, y/n" levi said as you looked at the piece of paper that would let you go through the eleventh stairwell and up to the surface.

after years and years of doing bad things to survive and to get money, levi had finally saved enough to get you a permit to go to the surface along with a citizenship to stay there. the only problem was, he only saved enough to get you out of the underground.

"no. our plan was to get out of here together. i'm not leaving until you're coming with me, levi. i don't care how long i have to stay here, i don't care how much longer i have to survive down here, i'm not going up there without-" you rambled, tears streaming down your cheeks as levi gently shushed you.

"i know, brat. but i can't stand having you stay here any longer. you're safer up there, i may not be able to come with you but i know that you're strong enough to take care of yourself if anything does happen. life on the surface is better, y/n. so please, it would ease me to know that you’re safe on the surface and not down here where bad things can happen to you” levi said as you closed your eyes tightly. you hissed in frustration before gently grabbing him by the back of the neck and pulling him in for a kiss.

he was right.

“i’ll come back for you. i promise” you whispered, resting your forehead against his as levi nodded. he pulled you in his arms as you buried your face in the crook of his neck, holding him tightly.

it pained you to leave your boyfriend in this slum, he was the only person you had left in your life and you so badly wanted him to be with you but if getting separated from him for a while to take that step into getting the life you both worked hard for, then so be it.

"i promise, levi" you whispered one more time as he nodded and kissed you on the forehead. you took the piece of paper from him, you read it once before looking up at him. he chuckled softly, wiping away the tears from your cheeks and kissed your lips.

"i love you, y/n" levi said as you smiled sadly, your heartstrings pulling in your chest.

"i love you, levi" you said before sharing one last kiss.

like the piece of paper assured, it got you through the eleventh stairwell. you walked up, looking back and taking one last glance at levi as he softly smiled at you, nodding at you to go on. you took a deep breath before turning to the stairs that lead to the surface.

you squinted your eyes from the contrast of brightness, reaching the top of the stairs as you were met with the district of stohess. it was terrifying to be in a completely new environment to say the least but you were grateful to be able to see the outside world and the sun, although you would've enjoyed it better if levi was next to you.

with one last glance at the staircase that lead to the underground city - the staircase that lead to your lover, you continued, exploring the new territory around you.

for the next few days, you found yourself a nice little home in the district of trost where you had also managed to find your job.

you volunteered to work in the survey corps' medical field just a few weeks after you got to the surface. with you patching up countless of levi's wounds and yours when you were still in the underground, you had plenty of practice with closing up wounds that could save someone's life.

the first few weeks weren't easy and you had found yourself writing letters that were addressed to levi every time your emotions became too overwhelming. you tried to send it to him but it only gets returned to you as none of the mails addressed to the underground city gets delivered due to how dangerous it was down there.

you kept your letters in a small box. it started with one, then two, until you had several unsent letters all addressed to only one person. it became habit to you to write to levi, it comforted you and it reminded you of your promise to get him out of the underground city so he could be with you once again.

for months, you had worked hard and saved up your salary until you had more than enough to get levi out of the underground city.

you were practically sprinting out of the survey corps headquarters to reach your horse, the money safely tucked away in the pocket of your jacket. you travelled to stohess, returning to the staircase that lead back to the underground city - the staircase that lead back to your lover.

you made your way through the streets that were all too familiar to you. you walked around until you reached the house that you used to live in.

"levi!" you practically yelled, sprinting up the small staircase. you threw the door open only to see the house empty. your eyebrows furrowed and you walked around only to find no traces of levi.

you checked the closet where you used to keep all the odm gear but it was empty. there was cobwebs everywhere and dust were starting to build up on the furniture. it looked like the entire house was untouched for a long time and you were certain that if levi was still here that he would never leave the house this dirty. never.

tears starting to well up in your eyes. you didn't know where else to look. defeated, you left the house, making sure to close the door behind you before making your way back up to the surface.

you couldn't comprehend the pain that you felt as you rode back to trost. you weren't sure if levi was still alive, if he left that house one day and never came back. walls forbid but you still held hope that he was still alive, that he was okay.

for the next few days, you continued to work in the medical field. you continued to save up your salary in hopes of coming back to the underground city and finally get levi out of there - still held hopes that he was alive.

your thoughts were interrupted when the doors to the infirmary opened and walked in a girl with red-brown hair styled in pigtails as she held her wrapped hand against her chest.

“i just cut my hand a bit from the blades, it’s not deep but i still want it to get checked out just in case” the girl cheerily said as you smiled warmly at her and instructed her to sit on one of the beds.

“are you new? i’ve never seen you here before” you said, carefully unwrapping the girl’s hand before getting started on cleaning up the wound.

“yeah! my name is isabel, we just got here a few weeks ago” the girl, isabel, cheerily said as you nodded in acknowledgement. you noticed how she used ‘we’, indicating that she was recruited along with other people but you thought nothing much of it.

“nice to meet you, isabel. i’m y/n, i volunteered to become a doctor here” you said as isabel looked at you excitedly before she started asking you questions, just to get to know you better while you patched up her hand.

you enjoyed isabel’s company, much so that you worked a bit slower when you wrapped her hand in bandages just to keep her in the infirmary for a while longer. it was just a small cut so there was no need to rush in patching her up as it wasn't in risk of an infection.

the two of you became close within the next few days and isabel would come to the infirmary even she had no wounds that needed to be treated. she would sit on your desk, talking to you while you worked on records or prescribed medications of some soldiers.

like any other day, isabel was back in the infirmary. the survey corps have an expedition later that day and she just wanted to spend some time with you before she went off into the unknown and unpredictable titan territory where anything can happen.

“i like the surface better. i was born in the underground city, you know. i never saw the sun or the stars until i became a scout” isabel said as you stopped writing on the paper and looked up at her.

“i was born in the underground too. my boyfriend got me out of there a few months back. i saved up to also get him out of there but when i came back, he wasn’t there anymore” you explained as isabel frowned, bringing a hand down and rubbing your back comfortingly.

“so tell me about your friends, you mentioned them a while back but i never got the chance to ask you about them” you said, shifting the topic of the conversation as the red-brown haired girl perked up.

“they’re also from the underground city. i found an injured bird and tried to bring it to the surface but i got chased, i stumbled into a house and farlan and levi-bro took me in” isabel said happily as she recalled the day. your breath hitched in your throat when you heard it. you shook your head, thinking that maybe you just misheard her and continued as if you didn’t just hear your lover’s name come out of her mouth.

“levi-bro taught me how to use the odm gear and we had to do a mission that got the survey corps involved. we got held hostage and levi-bro agreed to becoming a scout and commander erwin brought us here and made us soldiers” isabel continued as you looked at her. you most definitely did not mishear her the first time.

“can i ask you something?” you asked as she nodded, crossing her legs and leaning against her hands on your desk.

“this levi-bro you’re talking about. what does he look like?” you asked, fiddling nervously with your thumbs as you await for her response.

“he’s short. shorter than farlan but taller than me. he’s very skilled and talented, he’s a bit cold and quiet but he’s very caring and nice. levi-bro is so cool, almost everyone in the underground is afraid of him” isabel explained as you physically felt your heartstrings pull in your chest. so levi is still alive.

“he’s also quite a clean freak. we had to clean the house everyday-“ isabel continued but she was cut off by a boy with dark blonde hair opening the doors to the infirmary.

“isabel, come on. we’re about to leave, levi’s waiting for us outside” the boy, to which you were guessing was farlan, said as isabel jumped off from your desk and waved you goodbye. you bid the both of them goodbye and to get back safe before the doors to the infirmary were closed once again.

you leaned back into your chair, trying to let isabel's story sink in. levi was in the same place as you the entire time, and he was alive.

by the time you got yourself together, the scouts had already left and you had no other choice but to wait for them to come back before you could find levi.

for the most part, you paced nervously around the infirmary. anxiously biting in your bottom lip and fiddling with your fingers.

you knew what the outside world held for soldiers, you’ve been working in the survey corps infirmary long enough to see how most of them came back with missing limbs or severe injuries — some were able to be brought to the infirmary only to not make it in the end.

you were terrified but you knew that levi was strong. you believed that he was strong enough to take care of himself just like he believed that you were strong enough to take care of yourself when you parted ways that day.

a few hours later, as expected, the infirmary was filled with soldiers as doctors and nurses were in and out of the room.

“there was only one survivor from flagon’s squad” one of the nurses said as she patched up a wounded soldier on the bed.

“the one that section commander erwin had brought from the underground city. the two friends that came with him didn’t make it but he was able to take down the titan on his own” she said as your heart dropped, you quickly finished up the soldier you were tending to and moved to another.

it took a while but once all of the injured scouts were tended to, you rushed out of the infirmary and ran to the headquarters building.

you searched every corner of the headquarters but found no sign of levi. you were about to head back to the infirmary when you noticed that the door that lead to the rooftop was opened.

carefully, you made your way to the rooftop and pushed the door open to find levi sitting on the edge. alone.

“levi?” you breathed, tears starting to fill in your eyes after seeing him again. he froze in his spot before slowly turning around.

“y/n?” levi whispered, standing up from his seat. you nodded, tears falling down your cheeks and within a split second, he had crashed himself in your arms and held you tightly against him.

you closed your eyes, burying your face in his neck. you squeezed him tighter, savoring the feeling of being back in his arms after such a long time.

“how did you- i thought you-“ levi started but you gently shushed him, running your hand through his hair.

“shh, my love. come on, let’s go home for now” you said as levi only nodded and started following you.

you lead him back to your house a few minutes away. you opened the door for him, letting him walk inside as he sat down on the couch.

"tea?" you asked as levi simply nodded. you made your way to the kitchen to make his tea - plain black tea, just how he liked it. you handed him the cup as he took it from you, holding it in his own unique way that you had engraved in your mind ever since.

"thank you" levi softly said, taking a sip as you nodded and sat across him. you stayed quiet, letting him take small sips of his tea as the both of you let the present moment sink in.

"why didn't you come back?" levi asked after a few minutes of silence. you physically felt your heart break at the tone of his voice - broken, hurt.

"you didn't even write to me to let me know how you were doing. i waited for you and i thought you left me too" levi added, his voice breaking a bit as he pushed down the sobs that threatened to slip from his throat.

you didn't realize that you had started crying until you felt your tears fall onto your hand. you wiped them away with the sleeve of your jacket, looking up at levi.

you opened your mouth to speak but no words came out. everything was overwhelming that you failed to put your thoughts into words. instead, you stood up and headed to your bedroom. levi quietly watched you leave the room before returning with a box in hand.

you placed the box on the coffee table in front of him before taking your seat across him again. levi's eyebrows furrowed a bit as he looked up at you and you nodded at him, giving him permission to look inside the box.

levi gently took the box in his hands, opening the top as his eyes widened and tears started to form in his grey-blue orbs.

"the first few weeks were overwhelming, it was so difficult to live on the surface knowing that you were still down there. i wrote you a letter almost every week. i tried sending them to the underground but all of them got returned" you started, looking up at levi as he read some of the letters that was in the box.

"i was also saving up to get you out of the underground. i managed to save up more than enough to get you out of there and to get you citizenship but when i came back to the house, you weren't there. while i was working in the infirmary, i met a girl, isabel and she happened to mention you before she left for the expedition. when i heard that you were the only survivor from your squad, i came to find you" you said, fiddling with your thumbs as levi went through the contents of the box for a few more minutes before putting back down on the table.

"i didn't forget about you, my love. i couldn't ever forget about you. i worked everyday with you on my mind. this was our plan, wasn't it? to get to the surface. i promised that i'll come back for you, didn't i?" you said, you throat closing up from all the emotions you felt. levi looked up at you with tears staining his cheeks.

"i'm sorry" levi apologized, you shook your head as he stood up and pulled you in a hug. the two of you silently held each other tightly for a few minutes. no words were needed to be said, just letting the realization of being back together sink in.

you pulled away from levi, looking into his eyes as a smile made it's way onto the corner of your lips. he was there, with you. after all those months, you were back in each other's arms once again.

levi looked down at your lips before he started to lean in, he looked back up to your eyes as if he was asking permission as you slightly nodded.

your eyes closed on it's own when his lips touched yours. your hands found their way onto his cheeks as he tilted his head to the side to deepen the kiss. you missed this. you missed him.

the kiss lasted for a few more seconds before the both of you pulled away to get some much needed air. levi rested his forehead against yours as he softly panted, he smiled at you before kissing your nose and you giggled.

"i missed you, brat" levi whispered as you smiled and replied by placing another kiss on his lips, holding each other for a few minutes more.

levi eventually moved in with you and the money you had saved up was put in a safe place as the both of you decided to just keep saving up your salaries for something else in the future.

for the next few weeks, you and levi caught up on what happened while you were apart and you felt complete with him by your side once again.

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