#🍒 zeke ranting

[zekescherries]

zeke isn't a womanizer or a flirt, anything surrounding those things; he isn't. i'll happily die on this hill but i want to go more into depth.

first, we know zeke's backstory. we know he was an awkward kid and in one of my other analyses i said something along the lines of "zeke's awkwardness comes from isolation as a kid".

but, let's slow down. zeke in a romantic relationship depends on a lot of things, but mostly when that person meets him is obviously important. to make it easy lets just talk about adulthood.

zeke wouldn't approach anyone first, i highly doubt he would even know he found someone attractive until he's alone and it hits him; "hey, they're really cute." of course, for zeke it'll depend a lot more on emotional and mental aspects rather than physical ones.

zeke's self esteem is up for interpretation, at least imo. since he was raised to be a savior, but also i'm semi-sure he knows that people only want him because he is a savior, because he is a titan shifter, because he has status. zeke is never "zeke" in people's eyes. (i went more into depth on that on another analysis)

the way zeke acts is also a factor, a partner may think he's too brash or that he doesn't really have a filter with all his odd jokes. 💀

a potential partner will may also find zeke to be emotionally neglectful, why? because i really doubt zeke could be emotionally available after all the shit he's been through. he'd have to warm up and open up first before all that. which would probably take a good chuck on time.

i don't wanna ramble on inconsistently so i'll end this here.

[zekescherries]

i agree with this but he definitely caused no one to care for him, he didn't make strong bonds with anyone to be like "he did bad shit but I still wanna bury him!!" like eren did

also his grandparents died, because of his actions so obviously they weren't there

Thinking about how Zeke’s head just fell. Crushed underneath the feet of the colossal titans again and again and again.

Even if it wasn’t, who would be there to carry it? Two separate times, we see someone carrying Eren’s head. Caring for him.

But who is someone that Zeke is close to, someone who is still living and breathing, that would fight to make sure he got a “proper burial”?

No one would care for Zeke like that. No one would carry his head like that.

N O O N E.

[nighttimescribbles]

I don’t feel qualified to answer the majority of those questions because #ImNotAWriter but i don’t mind if you’d ask me sksksk. I could give you my answer for 🍌 just because I love you (Ill do it in a separate ask).

Anyway ill ask you the following that are highlighted:

#youarequalifiedandareawriter and i just fruitbombed you so there 😘

hohooooo so many things to answer. lesseeeee now:

🍒 What’s your favorite character dynamic to write? (Can be romantic or platonic, specific or general!)

i love the established-relationship-slice-of-life types that my stories indulge in so much. love when characters have settled into each other, especially when they've settled so deep they've practically made home in each others' very bones. more than just becoming part of each others' lives or routines, it's the kind of settling that soulmates do. maybe deep inside i am a hopeless romantic hahaha

🍍 What kind of AUs do you like? Are there any AUs you hate or just generally have beef with?

for heavier media (like aot), i tend to prefer modern au. in spite of the horrors of modern world, i like to think the characters have a better chance of living happier lives in a modern au. i have beef with high school au's because i did not enjoy high school, was glad to be rid of it forever and do not want to relive it in any way, shape, or form.

🍐 Is there anything in canon that you absolutely hate and love to fix in fics? A wrong choice made, a fuck-up in characterization, a misunderstanding never cleared up, a conversation never shown onscreen, etc…

Zeke's ending. omg he deserved a resolution of the angst that was his life. in some way, i wish he came full circle and found peace. because of that, i don't know when/if i'm ever going to stop recycling his awful childhood as fic fodder. i'm probably going to keep fixing him until i write one big fic that resolves it for good. 😂

🍈 Who’s your blorbo and what are some of your favorite headcanons/ideas about them that repeatedly show up in your fics? Free pass to rant about blorbo opinions.

OMG. YOU SHOULD KNOW ALL ABOUT THIS!!!! ZekeWin are my blorbitos and they repeatedly show up in my fics as powerful suit-dwellers. and we have talked ENDLESSLY about our shared hc's of them 😭 Zeke is secretly a subby pillow princess. i have written about this. Erwin's most annoying trait is his bossiness. he'll assume he knows what's best and will decide for you. give him a smack upside the head and he'll come back down to earth for some humble pie. BUT he is also the king of adoration. ;D

thanks for the ask, loveyy! 😘

join the roundtable and send a fruitmoji 🥰

[zekescherries]

random array of zeke headcanons

- zeke always wanted to play the cello, he just never got to because of obvious reasons.

- zeke is a massive cuddler, when mister ksaver was still alive he used to give the best bear hugs. now that he's gone, physical touch for zeke has become non existent even though he craves it.

- zeke smells like cigarette smoke and oddly expensive cologne.

- zeke hates vulnerability, for obvious reasons. he cringes inside whenever pieck or porco open up about their loved ones. he's not sure if it's jealousy over their emotional bonds or emotional intelligence.

- zeke always finds himself comparing himself to grisha, in both appearance or in personality. it's part of the reason why he let his beard grow out.

- zeke is sleep deprived and has noticeable eye bags, even seen through ksaver's glasses.

- the warriors gossip about zeke, mostly because they're nosy about his personal life, he knows but doesn't care.

- zeke hates arguments, he finds them unnecessary and so avoids them at all costs. in part because they trigger unwanted memories for him.

edit: for the second one, i kinda forgot about zeke's grandparents, so pardon me on that. 😭😭

[zekescherries]

zeke's sense of purpose / worth

- we all know that zeke grew up in an environment where his parents placed a duty upon his shoulders at a young age.

- since he basically grew up with this special purpose, this burden and the sense that: "my parents say that i am this important thing/person so i need to act like it." i think he definitely grew up as a people pleaser.

- but i also think that in the same breath he lost the opportunity to give himself a meaning/purpose, he never got to figure himself out so if he ever lost that purpose that was provided to him by his parents, he'd be completely lost.

- zeke thinks nobody understands him because nobody else was given a special purpose like how he was given one.

- being responsible for freeing your people from discrimination, fear and generational oppression is a lot, especially if you're starting at SEVEN YEARS OLD.

- as much as zeke says nobody understands him/what he's doing he never gives anyone the benefit of the doubt, he never opens up, never says anything to anyone.

- why? because they wouldn't even be able to understand his pain, but i also think that zeke can't express himself in that way anyway.

- he grew up with emotionally distant parents, dina & grisha probably didn't even know his favorite color, if he had any at the time.

- he couldn't be vulnerable with his own parents so why would he be vulnerable towards a "friend" who can't even understand his pain anyway?

not everything has some special meaning or significant, sometimes things are surface level and that's ok. it's okay for things to be ordinary, it's okay for you to be ordinary.

children are not mean't to be saviors, they're kids. if anything, they're the ones who need saving.

you are more than what someone says you are, you decide for yourself what you want out of life. (which is peaking into existentialism, i'll do an analysis on that with zeke one day)

I’m gonna end my yap session here so it's not too long

[zekescherries]

agreed, she was used but also she literally turned a blind eye to her son being abused. yes, she defended him but that was only once. what about the other times? she was okay with putting her son in danger for some plan that was ultimately unsuccessful, leading her to her death.

i am either the biggest Dina Fritz defender or hater depends on my mood

[zekescherries]

[zekescherries]

all of zeke's emotions are shown through his eyes

[zekescherries]

tw: mention of physical abuse

it was always talked about; how a mother loved her child. unconditionally, from the time she learns she's pregnant from the time her child is finally brought into the world.

she stares at them with adoration.

but dina never looked at zeke that way, not that he can remember at least. she always looked so sorrowful, like she pitied him, or herself. he couldn't really tell. she was always so submissive, gentle but passive and almost a pushover. letting grisha do all the talking, letting him rule the house.

like a tyrant.

grisha was never physically abusive but when his anger roared zeke always cowered, often looking to his mother for support, for protection but she never delivered. maybe she was afraid too, or maybe she stood back believing his approach was the only approach.

though, zeke never blamed her for the pain that was inflicted upon him. she was just as stuck as he was. despite that, he can't help the resentment that still lingers in his heart. the feelings of anger, that she didn't step in, that she rarely stepped in. that she sat back and watched.

it was always talked about; how a mother loved her child. unconditionally, from the time she learns she's pregnant from the time her child is finally brought into the world.

zeke still wonders if it's true.

[zekescherries]

more of random arrays of zeke headcanons

- grisha and dina sometimes took zeke to restorationist meetings, which he hated. he found them extremely boring.

- he's a picky eater, definitely.

- i do believe zeke gets female & male attention, i believe he just doesn’t know what to do with it. for example: "you're quite handsome, do you want to get to know each other better?" zeke will decline but say thank you for the compliment. his body language is tense though, he's super awkward. but that deserves a whole other array of headcanons.

- he draws sometimes, mainly when he's bored.

- zeke is really hairy, he doesn't necessarily have an interest in shaving unless it gets out of hand. and no, i'm not talking about what's in his pants.

- zeke hates when people stare at him, is there something on his face? either way he's mildly irritated now.

- he talks to himself, not all the time though.

[zekescherries]

zeke looked so hurt in this, like he just wanted to completely breakdown and shatter. he finally got some semblance of what he had been yearning for as a kid.

[zekescherries]

zeke & his looks

usually, i call zeke gorgeous and not ugly but realistically i think (by society's standards) he would be "ugly". and hear me out, i have an explanation.

canon universe zeke would definitely look rough. but why?

- stress hormones usually make people look older. trauma and other mental disorders could be another factor.

- he probably isn't getting enough sleep; overworking himself for marley.

- scars and other deep wounds could be a possibility if you believe (or headcanon) that after regeneration marks are still left on the shifter's body.

- zeke masks his face, in a sense. you really have to stare at him to recognize his facial expressions because of his glasses and by extension his beard.

- you could also factor in his facial expressions.

[zekescherries]

ׅ ˙ zeke & vulnerability

zeke refuses to open up, what is there to open about anyway? he thinks it's pointless, so he doesn't even try. it's best that no one outside of the marleyan higher ups know anything too personal about him anyway.

getting zeke to open up while in a relationship with him is a bit challenging, he's not sure where to start, or if he even should start.

you feel it's best not to rush him, so after a while you just stop asking.

sometimes, zeke's thoughts keep him up at night. a weird mix between his continuous night terrors and darkening thoughts. though, he sees a light at the end of the tunnel; one that wasn't there before.

he was so sure that nobody in this world would ever be able to understand him or his pain, much less try to. not after mister ksaver's death. but you're relentless,

zeke loves you, that's for sure. but relationship dynamics confuse him.

it's only then does he wake you up in the middle of the night, lighting a small candle and laying his head in your lap.

his shell finally begins to crack.

a/n﹕something small compared to the levi one, i didn't want to make this one as long.

© zekescherries 🍒

[zekescherries]

can we stop calling zeke a narcissist? can we stop using that word in general because 90% of people don't know what that word means and are just throwing it around 😭

[zekescherries]

grisha used both zeke and dina for his goals, even though he loved them he still saw them as "people of royal blood"

[zekescherries]

zeke & his anxiousness & awkwardness as a kid

this is the reference to one of @persephozee's posts btw 😭

- zeke grew up in a hostile and isolated environment, i imagine that grisha and dina purposefully did this to hinder suspension to the restorationist without knowing the affect it would have on zeke

- this lack of outside interaction would leave anyone in a state of "well, how do i talk to ___?" Or "how do i approach others?"

- grisha's hostility definitely made this worse, him being verbally abusive would instill fear in zeke that if he did something perceived as "wrong" or "inadequate" that he would be yelled at

- even when he was in the presence of other children while competing to be a warrior, he was publicly humiliated by magath who scolded him; much like grisha would and zeke could only look down in shame

- I wouldn't be surprised if other kids took pity on him or just avoided him all together, isolating him further