#SHES NOT THE NORMAL ONE SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP

[suguru-getos]

“i have scars in my hands from touching certain people” — cult leader! geto x monkey! F->reader

genre: fluff, angst, comfort, budding building relationships between sugu and the reader. taunting, trauma. it’s a mix of everything really. (mentions of gore & killings, mentions of locking up the reader, suguru has caged her basically but he’s very suguru-like about it :3)

the lunch was so eerie, quiet, but so unlike the geto estate’s normal day to day. suguru was sitting eating quietly at the head’s chair, to his right side was mimiko, nanako to the left, manami, miguel, larue and a few others he proudly calls family seated. the farthest from him was you. and somehow the nearest — for you sat right in front of him at the other leader chair. you’re not one to talk anyways, despite the silence being deadly.

suguru found you a few months ago, when his temper got the better off of him on an italy trip with his dearest precious angelic girls. your friends were taking a seat right behind, the dinner place otherwise secluded. maybe it was how loud you all were, or perhaps, how disrespectful your friends was when the waiter asked her to tone it down a little upon suguru’s urgency. he was here for some peace and quiet. it was liberating as is in his head to tolerate monkeys around, breathing, heart beating against their chests & living… he couldn’t help but kill everyone.

the sound of bodies trampled by something you can’t see, some screams— you were luckily in the rest room & you didn’t dare come out. suguru knew better though, he knew you were here. his eyes had lingered a little too long when you came inside this place anyway. he gets up, eyes clinging together in his usual smile, headpatting nanako. “i will check if there are others.” the girls wished their geto sama wasn’t so temperamental all the time. but whenever suguru was amongst monkeys, it seemed like the infinite, ocean-like patience he harbors fades & evaporates from within him. she sighs, watching suguru walk towards the entrance of the restroom. a few more screams… “happy birthday to me.” she scoffs, looking down.

when it came down to you, a terrified little girl leaning against the restroom corner of one of the stalls, eyes closed, ears covered, he knew he might just make an exception. maybe it was to show mimiko & nanako that he didn’t kill them all & he is working on his actions… maybe he just knew you’d have nowhere to go, all your companions & friends were dead. he purses his lips, eyes blearing hard in annoyance. "get up." you still remember the command that ran through your skin. you get up, trying not to cry at the man, big and looming, a feet taller than you, his face smeared in blood. "please don't kill me. i wouldn't say anything..." you manage to croak, voice hoarse at the panic it brings you.

"i wouldn't. shut up." he seethes, a warning pretty clear the way your shoulders slump and you quiver. you don't want to make sure you die right here.

...the rest is history, suguru took you to the room in italy, the girls just mingled with you within a few days. then, he took you to japan. you had work, you had a life, but you didn't want to say anything after you saw your friends lifeless. you hated geto suguru, but your silence was all you could possibly do.

it's been a few months to this now, eventually, you're at a stage where things have changed. your family thinks you have 'moved in' with your boyfriend, you had obviously resigned from work and on being asked to serve your notice or pay fine, suguru slapped the fine on their faces. you just exist in this estate when geto sama is on his meetings, when the girls spend time learning, when miguel and larue are on missions... sometimes you take out time out of your already free day to write. but there's nothing else to your routine except being suguru's monkey pet.

you are traversing through your thoughts, and suguru clears his throat to snap you back to reality. "y/n. you didn't answer the question asked." oh shit- "sorry- what question?" "do you like the food?" he asks, observant, and ever so keen to know things about you. you have no idea why he does that. you have known he hates humans. the only people he has tolerated is your brother and your mom. when they came to 'visit' you. he played the boyfriend bit quite well, also. "yeah, s' great." you hum, taking another disinterested bite.

"really? i didn't like the spice level, you like spices too, don't you?" he hits you with another question. manami and larue are gazing at you, they don't know what kinda mood suguru is in at the moment. there are times he just locks you up for hours because he doesn't wish to contaminate the house with monkey stench. you don't want it to be one of those days either.

"i like it." you answered, not sure what is it that he wishes to hear.

suguru has also been like a quiet cat in the last few months. he just observes you, watches you keenly, accompanies you on your walks and has attached himself to a fleeting hope that you would eventually open up to him. you haven't asked him anything about himself, or ever expressed your discomfort. you don't want to talk about the instances where you and him have almost kissed for several times. or when you seek him out with sillies like, "do you want to take a walk? do you want to go and eat ice cream? do you wanna watch a movie?" there are moments with suguru which almost feel a little too domesticated. its not all bad.

there are moments when he clutches at your wrist and you feel the burn seep through your entire body, and then you hate yourself for it. there are moments you hate him and wish for him to die when you remember it's your friend's birthday and she's no more. there are a total of good and bad and even which you can't possibly count. there are times suguru hugs you for good mornings and then there are times he doesn't want to see your face. you both are struggling to accept each other.

"last time this was made, you didn't take a bite." he raises a brow. "so i made sure they had something you liked for store." he crosses his arms. raising a brow. oh goodness.. suguru geto and his fierce memory. "i like it now." you scoffed stubbornly.

the chair slides back and your heart sinks, suguru is coming towards you. there is a layer of panic in your body language that isn't unreadable despite there having enough close moments between you two. you flinched when he takes the last footstep, standing in front of you. his hand yanking the plate away and shoving it closer to your face. "does this look like the plate full of something you love?" he's right, you have barely taken a bite or two. you swallow thick, unsure why you're being lectured like a child. "sorry... i was just busy thinking about something but, i'll finish it." you mumbled, eyes glossed up at the sudden change. maybe its him who is in a bad mood today.

"no, i said i got something else." he yanks the plate against the wall, the crockery breaking the same time as a stray tear falls down your cheek. oh he's mad. its so evident the turmoil suguru is in when he's around you. you wish he didn't have to go through the psychological torture either, but its him that needs to understand that too. "don't be mad and ruin the dinner for everyone geto." your words have a slight gnaw, a warning. you don't know where you muster the strength to say all that but... you just do.

suguru is tamed just like that, a heavy sigh followed by an eye roll. you get up, wanting to leave when you feel his hand clasp around your wrist, tight, restricting some of your blood flow.

"i said, i got some food for you y/n" he raises a brow, why are you so difficult and why can't he kill you off. he knows he has a soft corner for you, he knows he ... loves you. which is why this hurts. he hates that fate had to choose no one but a fucking monkey for him. the very kind he hates has this much control over him. he wishes so bad that the feeling goes away, but his heart is taut between needing you near him and wanting to push you away.

"please." he murmurs like an injured lion next, leaning his hand away when you hiss in pain. so frail and breakable. he's so afraid to touch you wrong even, you're like a little bunny and he's this... big bad wolf. can't even hold you up well without hurting you. always extra careful... delighted to be extra careful. your hand reacts to his hold, turning redder and slightly blue. even though you're the one that's bruised, suguru is the one that's hurting.

"don't understand how weak someone can be." he hums, holding your hand gently and glaring at the wound. he hates this so much. then, there's always you attacking with words as well.

"oh you mean these physical wounds? eh, they're no problem. you can lock me up again if you're scared of hurting me physically, geto." you remind him that these are physical wounds, that this is something unrelated to the mental wounds he's given you.

"i have scars too, little one. so many scars from touching you." he replies, he also, means the emotional scars. you are a living, breathing reminder that his hate isn't enough after all.

"eat your food." suguru ends with a hum, despite everything, he can't let you go.

[inmyheaddd]

walkin’ out the door with your bags — part 6

⤷ “i’m not the type to run, i know we’re having fun,”

summary: you and gigi are peacefully enjoying your day, when you find out, grayson’s… back? and he wants to talk. what could go wrong? wc: 3.0k masterlist || part 1 || part 2 || part 3 || part 4 || part 5

14 years old… 

you found him hiding in the library.  

he was slumped in the corner, knees pulled to his chest, head buried in his arms. at first, you weren’t sure it was him—grayson hawthorne never looked so… small. 

his usually pristine shirt slightly wrinkled like he’d been tugging at the hem, and it wasn’t tucked in. he didn’t look straight at you when you stepped in, but he didn’t tell you to leave either.  

“what do you want?” his voice cracked, but he tried to sound cold.  

you didn’t answer. instead, you sat down beside him, legs crossed, like it was the most normal thing in the world. 

he blinked at you, waiting for an explanation, but you just shrugged. years of knowing each other, and it always went down like this. 

“company.” you picked a random book off the nearest shelf and flipped it open. “you can pretend i’m not here.”

he didn’t reply.

minutes passed. long enough that you thought maybe he really would ignore you. at one point, you began actually reading the book you were pretending to read, and nearly forgot about the boy beside you.

but then, out of nowhere, he spoke.

“i don’t know what to do.” he admitted slowly. “there’s this girl… emily,” he said, his voice low, and you felt your heart beat faster. “and… my brother. jameson.”

your chest tightened, though you weren’t sure why. your kept your gaze fixed on the pages of your book, but your hands had stopped turning the pages.

“what about them?” you asked carefully, glancing at him for a second.

he ran a hand through his hair. “she’s… complicated. and jameson—he doesn’t think. he just jumps into things, never stops to think what it might do to everyone else.”

you hesitated, breath hitching as you studied the way he wouldn’t look straight into your eyes. whatever this was, clearly meant a lot.

he continued, looking down at the floor. “it gets repetitive. jameson, emily—they don’t think about the damage until it’s too late. and then they leave me to clean it up. and stupidly, for some reason, i do. i always do.”

you’ve seen grayson sad before, but this was different. he looked… lost. and angry. and for someone like grayson, who always carried himself like he had the whole world in order, it was jarring.

“you’re allowed to be mad, you know,” you said.

that made him pause. “i’m not mad,” he said, but the words sounded like a blatant lie.

your shoulders were barely touching , but the act alone felt larger than anything else. 

you tilted your head, a soft smile growing on your face. “okay, then you’re… frustrated? dissapointed? annoyed? irritated? pick your adjective.”

that earned the tiniest flicker of a smile, and your chest felt a little lighter, but then it disappeared just as quickly. he looked at you then, and something about the way his eyes searched your face made your breath catch.

“sometimes, i think you’re the only person who actually sees me,” he said quietly.

your heart stuttered, and for a second, you couldn’t think of anything to say. 

but then you smiled, “of course i see you,” you rolled your eyes jokingly like he hadn’t just sincerely confirmed that he really did see you as a friend, after years of just feeling like you pestered him. 

your cheeks reddened, “i’m your friend, that’s what i’m here for.” 

“but, you know,” you continued, “you’re surrounded by people who care about you,” you said softly, taking the focus away from you, and back to being there for grayson. “just let yourself see it. don’t push them away.”

his head snapped up at that, his sharp eyes meeting yours. “but people never just… stay.” he mumbled. “they have their own lives, their own motives.”

you stayed. you always would. “that doesn’t mean you have to shut everyone out,” you said, your voice steadier now.

“not everyone’s going to hurt you, grayson. but you won’t know that if you keep closing the door before anyone gets close. i mean, i annoyed you for so many years straight even when you pushed me away.” you said. 

“not everyone has my extreme level of patience and willingness to accept moody brooding.” you joked to lighten the moment, but there was truth behind it, he couldn’t expect people to stick around if he pushed them away.

he stared at you for a long moment, and something in his expression cracked, like he wanted to believe you but didn’t quite know how yet. 

he looked back at the floor, “you never actually irritated me,” he admitted, “and i never hated you. perhaps you’re right, i don’t… i don’t like to let people in.” 

you shrugged casually, “i’m always right.” 

he looked at you with a newfound softness in his eyes. “you’re annoyingly persistent, you know that?” he said finally, your shoulders still brushing against each other. 

“oh, i know.” you grinned. “if i wasn’t, we wouldn’t be friends right now.” you said with a small smile. “someone’s gotta stick around to remind you you’re not as alone as you think.”

for a while, neither of you said anything. grayson leaned his head back against the wall, letting out a long, quiet breath. 

that was when you knew he was replaying your words, letting them sink in—even if he wouldn’t say it outloud. 

— 

present

after days of confusion and radio silence from grayson, you finally told yourself that you were done overthinking. gigi had dragged you to your favorite ice cream shop for a much-needed distraction. 

the two of you sat at your usual table near the front, the smell of waffle cones and the soft hum of background music lulling you back into some sense of normalcy. that was until gigi leaned closer, her voice a hushed whisper.

“don’t look now, but…” gigi trailed off, her eyes going behind you once again. “grayson is kind of, um, here. and sitting behind you.” 

considering gigi had made very careful effort to not even mention his name around you — even when you persisted you didn’t care— hearing graysons name come from her lips stunned you for a moment, then you realized what she had just said. 

“what?” you whispered in shock, and then you turned around before you could think it twice. 

there were quite a few people in the shop, so there was quiet chatter mixed with the background music, but it all seemed to silence. 

but there he was, grayson hawthorne, sitting in the back of the empty icecream shop, glasses on typing on his computer.

‘who did he think he was?’ you thought, ‘coming to our— my place? the one that i introduced him to?’ 

you focused on the anger so you wouldn’t feel anything else. 

what on earth was he doing here? who the hell comes to an ice cream shop and doesn’t even get anything? and does what, office work? and who—

he looked up through his glasses, and you realized to late that you were sort of… full blown staring. 

he met your eyes for the briefest of seconds as you turned your head back around. 

“holy cow…” gigi mumbled as she looked down at her icecream, “he’s giving you a major longing stare right now.”

“okay,” you hummed, raising your eyebrows momentarily in lieu of a shrug that he would he able to see, “i don’t care.”

“sure you don’t,” she replied knowingly, dragging her spoon through her melting sundae. you gave her a look that said you didn’t agree, and that you seriously did not care, but she didn’t say anything. 

a beat passed before gigi suddenly grinned. “okay. in five seconds, i’m giving him a major angry glare.” she mumbled under her breath. 

“gigi, do not.”

“three…

“seriously, don’t.”

“two… one. i’m doing it!”

“gigi!”

she tilted her head back up, and bless her heart, gave her best attempt at a seething glare at grayson. 

it was sort of impossible for her to look angry with her wide blue eyes, no matter how hard she furrowed her brows. 

and she didn’t let up at it for a few seconds, then raised her eyebrows — half surprised and half amused. “ha,” she grinned to herself and fisted the air. “he looked away first. loser.” 

he was probably just crazily confused, you reckoned. 

“okay,” you chuckled under your breath, your cheeks reddening by the second. “um, should we leave now?”

“no,” gigi whined, taking a bite of her icecream. “that’ll make it obvious we’re mad. besides, i haven’t finished my icecream.” 

“well, i think that look you gave him made it more obvious,” you told her, and she only laughed as she shook her head. “but alright.” 

it wasn’t long before you left. you didn’t even have an appetite any more, and you were too overly aware of a presence behind you to focus on anything else. gigi finished her icecream promptly. 

the drive home was quiet. gigi hummed along to the radio, her mood as bright as ever, but you couldn’t shake the tightness in your chest. 

your thoughts churned, questions you’d been trying to bury for a few days swirling all over again.

“you’re quiet,” gigi said after a while, her tone soft. she glanced at you, concerned, but you only shook your head, trying to force a small smile.

“just tired,” you mumbled.

gigi didn’t push, and you could tell she didn’t buy it.

you pulled into the driveway and sat there for a moment, the car engine ticking softly as it cooled. gigi patted your arm before grabbing her bag and heading inside.

you smiled and nodded, muttering something like ‘i’ll meet you inside,’ and you stayed behind for a moment, staring at the steering wheel.

your phone was put on silent, then you scrolled through your notifications. 

grayson 

— Hi, I believe I saw you and Gigi today

you

— yeah haha i think gigi told me she saw you  i thought you were gone for 8 days? — it’s nice to see you back

grayson 

— Likewise. — I think we should talk, It’s been long overdue. 

a scoff escaped before you could stop it. the audacity.

your fingers moved before your brain could catch up.

you

— ok — talk then 

grasyon

— Would you be alright with talking in person?

you 

— yeah sure whatever — where?

grayson

— I’ll come to you.

you

— maybe not — i don’t want to disturb gigi

grayson

— Our park spot, then?

you

— ok

your heart slammed in your chest. you sat there for a moment, staring at the screen wordlessly, trying to process what just happened. 

our? how could he even still use that word?

this was happening, you were going to talk to grayson for real this time. you anticipated it wouldn’t end good. things with him were rarely easy.

you put on your headphones to numb your thoughts, pulled on a hoodie, and made your way out the house. 

the playground was completely empty, which was usually how it was when you and grayson used to go. the sun was already beginning to set when you walked out of your house, and it was fully dark once you arrived, making your way toward your spot. the bench.

it wasn’t anything special—just a worn wooden bench tucked away at the edge of the playground. but it had been yours. you and grayson’s.

he was already there when you arrived, sitting with his elbows resting on his knees, staring at the ground like it might have the answers he needed.

you sat down on the opposite end of the bench, keeping a deliberate distance. “okay,” you said, crossing your arms. “talk.” the park was eerily quiet, the air cooling rapidly as the sun finally disappeared behind the trees. the bench felt cold under your fingers as you sat down, the weight of the moment settling in.

his eyes flicked to yours, and for the first time, you thought you saw a hint of guilt there. 

you were both silent for a few seconds, before you looked away, down at the floor.

“fine, if you won’t talk, i will.” you muttered. 

“grayson,” you sighed, “you can’t just—” you started, your voice breaking slightly before you caught yourself. 

you cleared your throat, willing the tears to stay put. “you can’t just disappear and then show up like nothing happened. like i’m supposed to just... what? forget it?”

he inhaled, then hesitated. “you know, i never meant it to be like this. i didn’t mean for it to feel like that.” he said quietly, his tone so calm that it just made you more angry.

“feel like what, grayson?” you finally snapped your head towards his. “like you were ignoring me? like you couldn’t be bothered to let me know what was going on? because that’s exactly what it felt like.”

his jaw tightened, but he didn’t say anything.

“that’s it?” you scoffed, followed by a bitter laugh as you sat up straight. “you disappear, you come back, and all you’ve got is ‘i didn’t mean for it to feel like that?’”

he wielded silence like a weapon, just like he always had.

you continued, still. “what’s going on with you? you’re acting so— so different, i barely even recognize you.”

he let out a breath as he looked away, running a hand through his hair. “please, don’t make this harder than it already is,” he started, his voice calm but careful. “yes, we are good friends, but we’ve tarnished that too far for us to ever be simply friends again.”

“what? grayson,” you said through a forced laugh, “what are you even saying right now?” you knew precisely what he was saying. 

“you’re a good person.” he said, almost sounding like he was begging for you to see his point, “you’re a lovely person, the most caring and funniest person i’ve met. you deserve better, i’m not the person for you.” 

“grayson, what is wrong with you?” you couldn’t help but laugh at the absurdity at what you were hearing, but you were so frustrated at his… selfishness.

“i want you, you want me, right? it’s that simple! just let us be us.”

“it’s never that simple.” he shook his head, that one strand falling back into his face. his brows furrowed slightly like the words hurt him to say.

“it is that simple! you’re making no sense, just— just stop.” you stood up, and he followed, fear flashing in his eyes momentarily. 

you took a slow step away from him.

“you kissed me! you kissed me.” your voice crackled, and you swallowed thickly, forcing yourself to keep going. “if you knew from day one that you couldn’t do this, you should’ve just spared me the effort and left me alone.”

he looked at you like you’d shot a dagger through his heart, though his eyes were the only thing that showed it. were you being unfair? probably. but in your eyes, you had every right to be. 

as much as both of you hated to admit, his eyes were far too easy for you to read. they were like a language only you were fluent in, like you could have a whole conversation without even speaking.

now, all they said was pain. 

“you’re the only thing making things more difficult, gray.” you hated the way your voice trembled. 

low blow after low blow. but he deserved it. 

all those nights you’d spent together? he knew you inside and out, what hurts you, what doesn’t, and exactly how you love.

he knew all of that, and he still thought that leaving because things were difficult was going to be the right thing.

this couldn’t be real.

“look at us, don’t you see it?” he motioned between the two of you, like whatever was happening was a tangible thing he could see. “we’re fighting like this, and we’re not even together. we’re going to ruin each other.”

ruin each other? is that what he thought? god knows how many years of friendship, a pretty perfect friendship too, and he thought making something official would lead to you ruining each other? 

you weren’t fighting with him, you were trying to fight for him. for the chance of you actually being something more. 

“we can’t do this.” his voice felt so detached, but his eyes looked so hurt at the same time. he didn’t getto feel hurt, not when it was his fault. “we’ll just end up hurting eachother, and i don’t want to hurt you.”

you nodded silently, willing your tears back. every inch of you you wanted to scream in his face, “you already have! you coward.”

he was doing nothing but hurt you these past few days.

instead, you nodded, biting the inside of your cheek to keep the tears at bay.

“yeah,” you said, pressing your lips together as you nodded again. “alright. i get it. that’s it then?”

grayson’s eyes narrowed for a split second like he was confused. 

was he surprised? did he think you were going to hang on longer? because you weren’t. you’d spent far too much energy on him. you always saw him as someone worth spending you time on, someone worth trying to figure out, someone you wanted to know.

but you understood now: he didn’t want you to figure him out because he didn’t even know who he was himself. he was scared. but that wasn’t an excuse; you were terrified, and you still were. 

love had always been your fatal flaw, the one thing you were unsure of, but you were willing to dive in head first because it was grayson. 

he just didn’t feel as deeply though. 

you didn’t want to figure him out, and you didn’t want to know anything about him anymore. 

he didn’t answer right away. instead, he looked at you, and for a moment, his mask slipped. his eyes—those stupid, stupid eyes— almost made you want to feel sorry for him. he looked vulnerable, but you were too angry to let it affect you this time.

“i… yes.” grayson finally said, sounding unsure of himself for once in his life. “i suppose that’s it.”

“good,” you nodded as your crossed your arms, “because i don’t want to hear what you have to say ever again.“ 

he reached his hands out but quickly let his arms fall back, curling his fingers into a fist. 

he looked at you like he didn’t know what to say, his mouth opening and closing before he finally settled on just staying silent.

you still felt like there was a million unspoken words that needed to be said, but you turned and walked away. 

for once, you didn’t wait to see if he’d try again.

you willed your feet to move and not think about how he looked behind you, because if you did, even for a second, you had a feeling you’d turn right back. 

a/n: guys it gets better i swear they’ll be happier than ever soon 🙏 taglist: @x-liv25-jamieswife @wish-i-were-heather @thecircularlibrary @whatsamongus @littlemissmentallyunstable

@anintellectualintellectual @lovethornes @maybxlle @sheisntyou @emelia07

 @midiosaamor @sweetreveriee @charsoamerican @hxress23 @imaseabear 

@clarissaweasley-10 @off-to-the-r4ces @thelov3lybookworm @graysw1fe @lanterns-and-daydreams 

@hermesenthusiast @elysianwayy77 @that-daughter-of-hephaestus @apollosmusee

[hplonesomeart]

Hey. Sorry about the inactivity, but pretty sure no one cared that much anyways lol. Been a looooong time since I kept that distant from Tumblr…at least now I know I’m able to survive without checking posts every day/being chronically online! I’ve got an intense love-hate relationship with this lifestyle I’ve dug myself into. Think I’m getting a little bit better with the balance even if school isn’t really giving me an option. Got a load of work I need to keep catching up on if I don’t want to disappoint my professors. We’ll survive somehow. Here take a quick batch of Puzzle doodles k bye

[therandompagesblog]

SKZ Pack: Chapter 6

Trigger Warnings: none

The journey home was insatiable. It was awkward and quiet. Seungmin had even attempted to turn on the radio while he drove back but Felix turned it off with a huff. There were too many thoughts going around his head. Why did Minho bring her to his home? Why couldn't Minho have warned him? What is she thinking? Does she hate humans? Is Olivia going to pry? What's mum going to think? Felix felt stressed and conflicted. He wasn't annoyed at Y/N whatsoever but the situation put pressure on him. "So how's Chan hyung?" Seungmin asked as he put a dent in the awkward silence. "Jaehee's breaking his bones today. He's not healing. She's worried one of the wolves may have had a poisonous bite and that's caused Chan to struggle to fight the infection and heal." Minho answered plainly as he played with Y/N's hand. Minho looked up and gave her a soft smile as he squeezed her hand. "Why didn't Jaehee pick this up before?" Seungmin asked, there was concern in his voice as he thought about the weeks his alpha was suffering. Minho sighed and looked out of the window. "Because Chan is stubborn. He didn't want Y/N to worry so he's been trying to fight it. He even asked me to try and cut parts out of his leg." Minho stated. "You did what?" Y/N asked worriedly. "I told him it was stupid," Minho muttered. "The things you do for love!" Seungmin clicked his tongue. "Oh. You want to talk about doing things for love. The last time you did something for love you nearly killed yourself." Minho growled, smacking the younger beta's head.

Y/N could see Minho really cared about the younger wolf despite his aggression towards him. It made Y/N smile as she saw the beta glare through the wing mirror. "If puppy asked to sacrifice me in a ritual I would do it," Seungmin stated proudly while the three of them looked at him with concern. They were slightly disturbed by the confession. "That's not normal Minnie," Y/N stated. "She's right," Felix added. "What? It doesn't matter. Anyways. My love is exclusively for Y/N only." Seungmin answered causing them to roll their eyes, but the concern of Seungmin's confession didn't go unnoticed by Minho. Minho was aware of Seungmins intense emotions but he was worried about how this would lie with Y/N, because once Seungmin becomes obsessed he never lets it go. As soon as Seungmin is fixated on something, he will not stop until it's deep within his grasp. It worried Minho and right now Y/N seemed oblivious to it. She seemed unfazed by his words as if he joked about them a lot, and he did make slight comments about her. About owning her. It was strange, but Minho didn't want to alarm anyone, not yet at least, but was it Seungmin he needed to worry about or another wolf in the house?

Seungmin pulled up to the side of the house, parking next to Chan's car before snacking his car door against Chan's car. "Careful." Minho grumbled, causing the beta to shrug. Y/N shook her head and got out of the car noticing Hyunjins car had gone. "He's gone to the shops with Jisung to get you a phone," Minho said. "A phone?" Y/N was confused. "Yeah, because how else are you supposed to know where we are if we're late? It's also easier for you to get a hold of us without using one of us." Minho explained. "Oh." Y/N nodded as she shut the door. "Wait," Felix called as he grabbed her hand, pulling her towards him so that he could embrace her. His head fell straight into her neck tightly. "Felix!" Y/N cooed as she stroked his hair affectionately. "I can explain. Hear me out. There's a reason I never told you and you probably worked it out when you smelt them. And I never wanted them to know or you to find out. And I-" "Felix calm down. It's alright. I don't care what they are. I just want to understand. That is all." Y/N promised as she lifted his head up, looking into his frazzled eyes. It was a secret that some of the wolves didn't know and it was a lot for him to reveal it. "Felix. I want to know." Y/N pleaded. Felix nodded and nudged her towards the car. He could feel Minho listening and he didn't like that.

Y/N opened the car door and sat on the back seat, watching Felix climb in. He was nervous. Y/N could tell. It was the way he kept looking back as if he was going to be caught. Felix took a deep breath and rubbed his face as he built up the courage to tell her. "My father is an omega and my mother is human. My mother doesn't know my father is a werewolf. Fuck. I don't know how to explain this." Felix looked up at the roof of the car as he tried to find the right words. "My father came from an omega pack. He was a part of the revolution against alphas. There were nineteen in their pack, but they were divided in beliefs so a schism happened. My father stayed with his pack. I think there were six or seven. I can't remember what he told me but apparently war happened with a head alpha and when the head omega wanted to take them out my father ran away. He ran because he didn't want to be executed. My mum was carrying Rachel, so he couldn't do that to her. My mum believed he got into some trouble growing up so they moved into the house you saw. Then I came along and then Olivia came." "But how are you a werewolf? I don't understand." Y/N whispered. "I don't know, but my father picked up on the signs and tried to teach me everything he knew. My father believes I could have been a beta because of a recessive gene but who knows? Chan found me through my father who was looking for a werewolf pack at the time to teach me. The thing was Chan had a high opinion of omega packs back then, as long as I was loyal to him, Chan would never hand over my father." Felix stated with an awkward smile as if the whole situation was tough luck. He looked at Y/N whose brown eyes watched him as she tried to piece together what he had said. "I didn't tell you because I didn't know how you would react. Many werewolves are prejudiced or fearful of omega packs. Even Minho hyung despises them along with Hyunjin and Seungmin so it wasn't like I could say anything to them. Only Chan and Jeongin really know. The others have speculation but have never asked. I guess I also worried because of what happened with you and Ateez, I didn't want it to escalate further and target my family." "Oh, Lixie. I'm not mad. I was hurt for three minutes but I knew there was something more because we promised we would always tell each other." Y/N reached out and cupped his face in her hands. Her warmth made him close his eyes. "What I think is an omega pack is pretty cool and I support that because us omegas are treated badly you know."

Felix grunted lowly at her obnoxious thoughts. He didn't need her deciding to rebel against them. "My love. Don't even think about it. You are treated well. If not spoilt." Felix grumbled. "Me spoilt? Definitely not it depends on what you categorise as spoilt." Y/N stated causing him to roll his eyes. "I am sorry I didn't say anything when you came into the room. I kind of panicked and I couldn't exactly say you were my girlfriend when Seungmin had his hands wrapped around you, but then I felt guilty. So. So. So guilty baby. Not only that Rachel is so judgemental and I didn't want her to even have those thoughts about you." Felix stressed causing Y/N to roll her eyes. "I mean technically I am a whore-" Felix put his hand over her mouth, silencing her with a glare. "Do not ever say that. Ever." Felix growled. "Yes, Lixie." Y/N teased as she kissed him. She missed his kisses. They were always so loving and tender. They were delicate, like him. "Do you ever worry something may happen?" Y/N asked. "My father expects it but I worry for my mother and sisters. They never asked to be apart of this world and I want to keep it hidden from them." Felix answered. "If they do I will rebel," Y/N stated as she crossed her arms. "If you do. I can punish you now. You've been claimed." Felix said as his yellow eyes glowed slightly. "Um. Hello. Seungmin is that you?" Y/N teased, causing Felix to growl and chase her out of the car. Things were starting to get better despite the small cracks that were starting to show.

Taglist for the iconic readers:

@galaxy4489 @reallychaoticwoo @leezanetheofficial @mbioooo0000 @jisungs-iced-americano @maybeimmia @hwangrfrnd@wolfo2027 @kayleefriedchicken @leamueller920 @borahae-reads @jennibahng @cookiesandcreammy @jutdwae-flower @danceonmyheyday @jc003 @hpnsfwaddict @linocz @itzreetal987 @skzdreamer13 @liv1sworld @upsidedownchaire @jutdwae-flower @danceonmyheyday @jc003 @hpnsfwaddict @skzdreamer13 @ihttinniee @kingdomofpentagon @pixie0627 @tsunderelino @notevenheretbh1 @catlove83 @h0rnyp0t @hash2013 @hyunmikim @emi-han @iknow-uknow-leeknow @jigglypuff3000 @aalexyuuuhm @missseoulite @ihrtlix @estella-novella @xxeiraxx @atinyrosedoor @skz-ot8-stay @poetryforthesad @emi-han @galaxy4489

[honeychamomile1]

Not So Pretty

JJ Maybank x ex!fem!reader

Summary: No one, I mean no one, can be okay after a break up and that is just something that is shown to be proven not told.

Warnings: Light violence, mention of glass shattering, drinking underage (it’s JJ after all), crying, comfort, etc.

Note: Part three of “Pretty” series! I hope you guys enjoy! Also, @sunndroppp this is my apology for being so late! Please forgive me lol. :)

👉 Series Masterlist 👈

John B

“John B.” I heard in a sing-song voice, a tiny laugh escaping the person who was trying to disturb my sleep.

I opened my eyes with great effort, eyes fluttering a couple times before I had a clear visual of who was interrupting my slumber.

“Whoah, what the heck, man?!” I blurted, sitting up quickly, pulling the blanket with me to cover myself with its warmth.

JJ Maybank was standing over my bed, his face previously only a couple centimeters from mine. He laughed, mouth opened wide in a smile as he startled me awake.

“It’s nothing personal, I just wanted to wake my buddy up.” He explained, chuckling again.

For a second I almost questioned why he was acting this way; acting like everything was okay after he abandoned the one girl he truly loved, but I couldn’t know how he deals with his feelings, and I didn’t want to ruin his day by bringing it up; the last thing I wanted was to uncover feelings he previously buried.

Instead I only rolled my eyes, reaching up to rub the sleep out of them. My mouth opened in a yawn. “What do you want, JJ?”

He smiled and nudged my arm with his elbow. “Don’t know, you tell me.”

I glared at him. “You’re telling me that you woke me up for no reason at all?”

He smirked but his lips wavered. “Not for no reason, you can still make me breakfast now that you’re up.”

I grabbed the nearest pillow I had nearby and threw it at him, the object successfully hitting him right in the chest.

“Make your own breakfast, Maybank.” I teasingly snarled, and he laughed, walking out of the room so he wouldn’t annoy me further.

When I later went down stairs, I saw JJ sitting on the counter, a beer bottle in his hand. The same hands she used to kiss and hold, guiding him where she wanted to go while giggling at his complaints.

I laughed half-heartedly. “Already drinking somethin’?”

JJ huffed, a smile being forced on his lips as he looked at the glass in his hand, almost like he didn’t realize it was there until now. “Yeah, I guess so.”

My eyebrows furrowed, confusion flooding my senses. “You okay?”

He bit the inside of his cheek, taking off his hat with his free hand, ruffling his hair strands before putting the cap back on. He then seemed to flip his usual emotion switch on, a very forced smile stretching his lips. “‘Course, why wouldn’t I be?”

I felt a look of uncertainty surround my features since I couldn’t help but show it. No one, I mean no one, can be okay after a break up and that is just something that is shown to be proven not told.

“Nothing,” I started, and felt a sarcastic comment come up my throat. “Not like you just broke up with someone or anything.”

JJ’s jaw clenched, giving the impression his teeth were clashing together uncomfortably. It twitched, not seeming to be unlocking any time soon. “Shut up.”

Normally when JJ told me that kind of stuff I would laugh and refuse to do so, teasing him by pushing his shoulder. He would normally give me that kind of come-get-me-grin, testing me once again to see if I’d dare to make my response something along the lines of ‘make me.’

But this was serious, his voice stern as he looked, more like glared, at me. His hands turned white as he squeezed the beer bottle’s neck. For some reason my chest tightened in fear of it shattering, picturing glass particles everywhere like flickering lights. Of course, I knew JJ was strong but not that capable capable to break a glass bottle, but the fear was sitting in me nonetheless.

“Why?” I asked, confusion taking a seat next to the fear in my chest. “I am telling the truth, aren’t I?”

JJ’s jaw was still locked, eyes set on a wall across the kitchen, silently asking it a question and waiting for it to answer.

“Aren’t I?” I repeated, trying to squeeze the answer out of him like squeezing the juice out of a lemon, and I awaited the sour response of the truth.

“And what if you are?” He suddenly snapped, blue eyes making sharp eye contact with mine. I didn’t flinch, for I couldn’t do so, and I wasn’t scared enough to do it in the first place. There it was, the sour taste on my tongue.

I am never scared of JJ, and today will not be the time that changes.

So I stood my ground, looking in right back in the eye as he continued his outburst. “That doesn’t change anything, because I’m over it.”

His voice was so straight, straight as a line, not wavering whatsoever. But I knew him, and that last part of what he said had a dip in tone. “Yeah right.”

He slapped his eyes away for mine and back to the wall in front of him, legs swinging softly back and forth. His boots that still covered his feet-the fact alone bothered me a little- softly hit the cabinets below the counter, it closing and opening, closing and opening, closing and openi-

“Stop that will you?” I blurted, gesturing to his feet but instead is stopping he just jumped off the counter all together, setting the beer down on the surface he was previously sitting on and starting right for me.

His hands, the ones she used to hold grabbed me harshly by the shoulders, a face with nothing but rage fight in mine. His eyes darkened, they shined with anger as he dove me to the ground, the harsh kitchen floor beneath me.

A flashback to when we were younger, his tiny body squealing with laughter as he playfully pushed me down, the grass smacking my back as I attempted to wrestle back.

But this moment wasn’t playful, and if I didn’t stop him, I felt the growing fear he would actually hurt me.

“Hey, hey, hey!” I shouted, grabbing his shoulders and pushing him off me. I met his face, his eyes, and saw soft tears laid over them.

“Hey, man, what’s wrong?” I asked him softly, our legs bending to stand up again, my hands still on his shoulders to hold him steady.

“I-…sorry.” He swallowed, his hand lightly pushed mine off him before shooting to his hair, the blond strands being tangled within his fingers. I was worried he was gonna pull his hair out the more he pulled; I could almost feel the harsh tugs on his head on my own.

“Hey, no need to be sorry, tell me what’s going on.” I assured, and I felt my eyes following his body as he walked further into the kitchen, leaning against the counter as he roughly rubbed at his eyes, making the areas red quite quickly.

He then covered both his eyes with his palms, fingers touching both of his ears. “I-I broke up with her.”

This is information we both already knew, but seeing him with this much emotion flowing within him it wasn’t something I didn’t expect. I often believe that this was a stage of healing, of communication about one’s feelings before they discuss what the next step will be. And that part right there, the statement that JJ made, was a topic sentence to ease into the deeper meaning on why he broke up with her, not just the statement of action.

“I was so stupid, B.” He grumbled out, each breath he took seeming to increase pressure on his face with his hands.

I didn’t say anything, I chose not to, for I was worried I would interfere too much with the non-stop emotions flowing through him. So I stayed put, my feet gluing themselves to the ground on their own. I could have stepped forward, touched his shoulder affectionately and attempted to provide some comfort, but that would make him uncomfortable, and that was one of the last things I wanted. So I continued to stay put.

“Breakin’ up with her like that,” he continued to ramble, eyes still covered with his hands as he shook his head, disappointed with himself. “She must be broken, man.”

This time I wanted to respond, swallowing thickly. “Yeah, Pope was talking to her; he said she was crying.”

JJ shook his head harder. “Don’t.”

“Sorry, but it’s true.” I pried, my feet deciding to unstick and step forward, getting only a little bit closer to him. He needed to know the truth; what he did to her.

“I’m so upset with myself.” He said suddenly, clearly wanting to change the subject, and once again the statement is true. Gonna be honest, he was stupid, and he does look upset, so both statements just add to the pile of negative thoughts that are running through his head.

“Why’d you do it, man? Because I know it wasn’t because you stopped lovin’ her.”

“Not like I ever could.” He grumbled once again, stuffing his hands in his pockets. He finally took them out of his hair, I noticed almost right away, his strands left pointing to and fro in the air.

“Stop avoiding the question.” I stated. I had enough. I know I reacted confused and determined before, but now I’m feeling impatience forming within my chest, replacing the previous emotions. I want him to answer me, and I want him to answer me right now.

He sighed. “It’s stupid.”

“Yet stupid things have good outcomes?” I quoted the motto he claims all the time, raising an eyebrow, testing him.

He huffed, right hand coming to his hair strands again. “My dad.”

The words were breathed out roughly, and I was lucky I heard them because I don’t think he would want to repeat it if I asked him to.

“Look, I get it man, but you can’t break her as a way of protection.” I informed, knowing how wide of possible reactions he might have, but I say it anyway. Because not only did it need to be said, but also he isn’t protecting her in the right way.

“I know, but it was the only way I could think of, how else am I supposed to protect her? Let him beat her up like he does to me?”

I couldn’t help but step back at his outburst. My mind was so blank it couldn’t even picture it, the man who called himself JJ’s dad laying any sort of hand on her.

The thought couldn’t help itself but slip into my brain, picturing his hands on her, pure fear in her eyes as she cried for help, begging for her lover that left her broken inside.

“Don’t talk like that.” I ordered at him, forcing myself to erase the image from my mind.

“Well if I haven’t broken up with her, that imagine would’ve become reality. So I left her.”

The fact that he shrugged afterwards, like the answer was that simple; almost like it was normal for him to do that.

“What about the whole time you were together? You weren’t worried about your dad then.”

“Well he wasn’t exactly mindful of her was he? He knows, John B,” JJ almost snapped right back at me.

“Does it even matter at this point, does it, J? I know you’ll do anything to protect her.”

“Yeah, I do!” He blurted. “And that thing I did was leave her. She deserves someone better, someone whose father doesn’t beat them up. Someone who can love her and not worry about his father hurting her.”

I couldn’t help it, I pulled him in towards me and wrapped my arms around his shoulders, bringing him into a hug.

“Hey, it’s okay. It’s gonna be okay,” I whispered.

“Y-you were right, I’m not okay. I-“ he paused, a shaky breath aruptintg in his chest. “I miss her,” he breathed out in a soft whimper.

It was a soft moment, a side I didn’t really see of JJ except when we were kids and he scrapped his knee.

He learned to dig it deep down within himself as he got older, but I always knew that certain things made him crack, and she was one of those things. One of those beautiful, precious things that didn’t deserve to be hurt in any way.

“It’s okay,” I whispered again, not quite knowing what to say. I didn’t want to say something and spark any anger in him, so I continued to soothe the best way I could.

It seems to work, JJ’s breathing calmed down as his fingers practically dug crescent moons into my arms.

“…JJ?”

The body I was holding tensed up, stiffened into a board even.

He pulled away, eyes wide with pure terror, and confusion took over me, looking around, but seeing no one. No one at all.

“What’s wrong? You okay?” I asked, his hands sweaty on my arms before he pulled them away, his breathing picking up a bit.

He swallowed thickly, and I could almost feel how dry his throat was.

“N-nothing, I thought I heard someon-something.”

________________________________________

People I wanted to tag!

@immyowndefender @stephstephstephsteph @tairodriguess2010

________________________________________

Like, reblog, and comment to make me happy!! 🫶🏻

[starsjulia]

labour // leah williamson

a/n : i giggled a lot writing this.

warnings : none really, set in a hospital, reader being gobby

Leah was ready for anything. At least, that’s what she’d been telling herself for nine months. She’d read books, watched videos, and even gone to a birthing class where she’d accidentally fainted during the “miracle of life” video. But now, with you gripping her hand like you were trying to crush her metacarpals, she realized nothing could have prepared her for this.

“You’re doing amazing,” Leah said softly, her thumb brushing over the back of your hand.

“shut the fuck up you evil woman,” you growled, your head snapping toward her with the intensity of a woman possessed. “one more bloody ‘you’re doing amazing, and i’m going loose it”

Leah blinked. “Alright, cool, cool, cool. I’ll just… stop talking.”

“Good idea,” you hissed, then immediately let out a pained groan that shook the room.

The midwife, a chipper woman who apparently didn’t fear death, tried to help. “Let’s focus on breathing—”

“Don’t you start with the breathing! I AM BREATHING, AREN’T I?!”

Leah glanced at the midwife apologetically. “She’s normally lovely. I promise.”

“Don’t you dare apologize for me!” you barked. “You did this to me, you fucking cunt! You and your stupid, sexy smile!”

Leah couldn’t help but smirk. “You think my smile is sexy?”

“NOT THE TIME”

An hour later, you were in what the midwife called “active labor” and what you called “the seventh circle of hell.” Leah, to her credit, was trying to keep it together, but you weren’t making it easy.

“How about I go stand up front with the midwife?” she suggested, trying to be helpful. “You know, cheer you on from the sidelines—”

“ABSO-FUCKING-LUTELY NOT!” you yelled, grabbing her wrist then smacking her arm with surprising strength for someone in so much pain. “YOU ARE STAYING BACK HERE, WITH YOURE WIFE. I can feel my fanny ripping in half, ain’t no way in hell your seeing that”

Leah blinked, torn between amusement and terror. “Babe, that’s not—”

“NOT TAKING ANY BLOODY CHANCES!”

“Alright,” Leah muttered, holding her hands up. “I’ll just stay here then.”

“Good,” you snapped. Then, as another contraction hit, you added, “But you’re still not getting sex for a year. Minimum.”

Leah gasped in mock horror. “A YEAR?!”

“Maybe two! Depends on how long it takes me to forget THIS,” you shouted, gesturing wildly to your entire body before screaming in agony once again.

“Didn’t you say earlier that you’d forget everything once you saw the baby’s face?” Leah asked you.

You leveled her with a glare so sharp it could’ve sliced through steel. “FORGET WHAT I SAID EARLIER! one more word from you woman and i’m getting a divorce.”

By hour nine, the room had descended into chaos. You cussing out at everyone in sight, including the poor anesthesiologist who had tried to offer you an epidural.

“I don’t care if it’s late in the game!” you shouted. “Stick the bloody needle in my spine, you fucking COWARD!”

The anesthesiologist froze.

Leah quickly intervened. “She doesn’t mean that.”

“I MEAN EVERY WORD!”

“She’s in pain,” Leah added, patting his arm. “She called me a ‘stupid, gorgeous twat’ earlier. It’s just how she expresses love.”

The anesthesiologist looked unconvinced but did as you asked, and for the first time in hours, you seemed to relax.

“Thank God,” you muttered, leaning back against the pillows. Then, turning to Leah, you added, “Don’t get comfortable. I’m still mad at you.”

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, the midwife smiled. “Alright, one more big push!”

“One more?” you snarled. “THAT’S WHAT YOU SAID THREE PUSHES AGO, JANET!”

“Her name is Emma,” Leah whispered.

“I DON’T CARE WHAT HER NAME IS!”

Leah bit her lip to keep from laughing.

“Alright,” the midwife—Emma—said patiently. “Let’s do this together. Big push!”

With a guttural scream that would’ve put banshees to shame, you gave one last push, and suddenly, the room was filled with the sound of a baby’s cry.

“She’s here!” Leah exclaimed, tears streaming down her face as the midwife placed the tiny, squirming bundle on your chest.

You stared down at your daughter, your entire world shifting in an instant. “Oh my God,” you whispered, tears pricking your eyes. “She’s perfect.”

“She is,” Leah agreed, leaning down to kiss your forehead.

“She’s also loud,” you added. “Definitely gets that from you.”

“Oi!” Leah protested, but her grin gave her away.

Later, as your daughter nursed contentedly, you looked at her with a soft smile. “You know,” you said, stroking her tiny hand, “your muma is going to be so jealous. You’ve stolen her favorite spot.”

Leah gasped, clutching her chest dramatically. “Innocent ears! Did you just tell our newborn daughter about—”

“Yes,” you interrupted. “And she’s got a right to know.”

Leah shook her head, feigning devastation. “I can’t believe you’d corrupt her like this. On her first day. What kind of example are you setting?”

From the corner of the room, Leah’s mum, who had been quietly observing the whole thing, finally spoke up.

“Right, well,” she said, smirking, “this has been the most entertaining day of my life.”

You groaned, burying your face in your free hand. “Oh, God. You’re still here.”

“Still here,” her mum confirmed, grinning. “And I can’t wait to tell this story at Christmas.”

Leah burst into laughter while you muttered something about filing for divorce.

That night, as you lay in bed with your daughter snuggled between you and Leah, you sighed.

“I guess I forgive you,” you murmured.

“For what?” Leah asked, her voice soft.

“For putting me through hell today.”

Leah grinned, brushing a strand of hair from your face. “Does this mean the sex ban is off?”

You shot her a look. “Don’t push your luck, Williamson.”

[weirdgenetic-fuckup]

Hellooo 👋🏻

James being into rough sex, like bruises, bites, making sure you’re limping next day? Reader actually doesn’t like it, but takes it as she afraid he’ll break up with her? He doesn’t notice that she’s is pain and is enjoying seeing marks all over her body. Until one night he wakes up and finds her in the bathroom crying and trying to clean herself after the rough session? And he’s upset that she didn’t tell him she wanted him to be gentle? He takes her back to bedroom and they do it slow and passionately?

I’m thinking ajaf James or black album?

Warnings: smut, implied rough sex, bruises, hickeys, fingering (f receiving), angst, crying, aggressively cleaning skin, if you think I missed anything let me know otherwise enjoy!

You scrubbed and scrubbed but it didn’t stop the deep purple from spilling under your skin. Your neck, arms and legs all littered in bruises, muscles sore and voice hoarse, tears rolling down your cheeks in streams.

You bit your lip to keep your sobs down, not wanting to wake James who was fast asleep just down the hall. He’d gotten back from tour the day before and after sleeping the day away he was ready to release all his pent up emotions on you.

He loved seeing you all marked up, hickeys and hand prints, all from him. He loved owning you, claiming you as his for everyone to see, it was his favourite part and you were so convinced that if he ever knew how much you hated it, he’d hate you.

You couldn’t lose him, you loved him, the pain was worth it… right?

James woke up to find himself naked in bed, alone. It wasn’t normal for him to be alone at home, you were always there, you didn’t work because you didn’t need to, he didn’t want you to. He figured you’d just gone to the bathroom and would be back soon.

Then he heard a clattering sound and thought something happened, so he went to the bathroom and knocked on the door.

“Sweetheart, are you alright?” He asked, leaning closer to the door. He heard you sniffles and water running before you shut it off.

“Yes, yeah, I-I’m fine.” You said, struggling to keep your voice flat but managing, just barely. “I’ll, uh, I’ll be right out.” You kept working with the cloth, trying clean up the mess James couldn’t have been bothered with. At some point it became less about the sweat and cum, you were rubbing your skin raw trying to get the marks off, the scratches and bruises.

James waited a moment longer, listening to the faint sounds he could hear. He sighed with a nod. “Just be quick.” He said, turning and walking away.

He sat down in bed and waited for you to come back. He waited a whole minute, if even, before going back to the bathroom and knocking again. “Let me in.”

You jumped at his knock, not expecting him a second time. “I’m sorry, Jamie, I-I promise I’ll be out in a minute.” The words came out rushed and panicked, you didn’t know what he wanted or why he was here but it scared you all the same.

“No, I wasn’t asking, sweetheart, let me in.” He demanded, trying the doorknob but it was locked. You hesitated, then you questioned why you were hesitating. All he wanted was to get in the bathroom because he heard you crying, why were you scared.

You didn’t know what he was going to do to you, you didn’t know how he was going to react to you crying over the marks he put there but you assumed it would end tragically.

You unlocked the door and it swung open, making you step back, you gripped the counter for stability. James caught the notion, eyeing you closely.

You stood naked in front of him, covered in marks he put on you. Your skin was red and irritated but it wasn’t from him, the wet cloth in the filled sink gave him a decent idea of what you were doing.

“Sweetheart, what happened?” He asked, taking a step closer to you. You instinctively took a step back before mentally slapping yourself and moving closer to him again. He sighed and took a step back himself, not wanting to make you more uncomfortable, he could practically see your skin crawling. “I’m not mad, darling, I love you and I’m worried, what happened?” His voice was firm but gentle, full of love.

You crumbled, unable to hold it in anymore. You fell to your knees crying, James quickly got to his knees in front of you, pulling you closer until you were sitting in his lap. He gradually tightened his hold on you, planting kisses wherever he could reach in hopes of calming you down but he didn’t want to force you to stay in his lap.

You were scared of him, terrified even, and that broke a piece of him. He never wanted you to be scared of him, he wanted to be your safe place, who you came for when you cried. Here you were, hiding from him as you broke down.

You tried to speak but it came out mumbled and slurred, voice all choked up and you coughed between sobs so he just held you and kissed you all over, letting you catch your breath before you tried speaking again.

“It hurts!” You cried, the first thing he heard clearly.

“I get that but what hurts?” He asked, keeping his voice soft and low.

“You hurt!” You yelled, looking up at him with glassy eyes and a quivering lip. He stared back at you, eyes wide and flickering over your heartbroken features.

“I hurt..?” He repeated, words coming out barely above a whisper. “Sweetheart, no…” He tightened his hold on you, pulling your head to his chest. “Why wouldn’t you say something..?”

“I-I didn’t want- didn’t want you to leave-leave me…” You managed to get out.

James shook his head. He brought his hand to your face, cupping your cheek and tilting your head up to look at him. “I’m not leaving you anytime soon, love, if I do or say something you don’t like you have to tell me, you don’t deserve to be treated like that if you don’t like it.” He kissed you and let you rest against him once more.

He held you in his lap on the bathroom floor until you stopped crying when he carried you to bed and curled up with you. He lay behind you, an arm around your torso with his hand resting on your stomach, his other arm under your head, free hand playing with your hair.

James placed soft kisses to the back of your neck and leading down to your shoulder, the hand on your stomach moving down to rub your clit slow circles. You bit your lip to quiet yourself but it felt good and a few slipped.

“Don’t worry about it, sweetheart.” He said, kissing your jaw. “Just relax, don’t try to stop your body, alright? Just feel good.” Your lip slipped from between your teeth and more moans left your.

“Want more, Jamie.” You said in a whisper, not sure if you wanted him to hear it or not.

“More?” He repeated, pulling his hand away for a moment. “Just tell me if it’s too much.” He said, pushing into you with a low groan.

He moved his hips slow, letting you feel and savour ever moment of it. His hand went back to your clit, the pace was nothing he’d done with you before, it was always fast and hard, words harsh and degrading. This was different.

“You’re doing so good for me, darling, just keep making those noises, let me hear you.” He muttered, leaving kisses on you to leave kisses on you, not to mark you. Your skin was littered with James but they would go away, James loved you too much to put them back. As long as you loved him and knew he loved you nothing else mattered.

“Jamie-! Jamie, feels-feels good.” You whined, clutching the sheets, the hand playing with your hair went to grab yours, letting you squeeze him.

James didn’t have anything to say, leaving more kisses in his wake, feeling his own high coming up on him. Your eyes fluttered and rolled back, body melting into James’s as he came, filling you to the brim with his seed.

He moved, going to pull out but you stopped him. “Stay, Jamie.” You said, looking back at him over your shoulder. “Just stay.”

He smiled back at you and nodded, pulling you tighter to him. “I’ll clean up in the morning, then, alright?” You nodded, letting sleep take over you.

[ladylooch]

When We Met - [Nico x Lexi]

Vanilla, Nico thinks to himself. That is the other note to what he is smelling right now. 

Citrus, vanilla, and sweet roses- like the pink ones he got for his mother from the corner market earlier this season. 

For weeks, this same sweet, soft scent has lingered in the elevator on his way to practice. Sometimes it is there in the evening too, but mostly in the morning. Like whoever it belongs to just exited the elevator car before he got into it. Every day, Nico has been trying to pinpoint the notes of the perfume. He was pretty sure there was citrus and something floral. It took him days to nail down the rose connection. But the final note of sweetness wasn’t making sense to him.

Now he knows.

He stuffs his hands into his pockets, looking down at the elevator floor. Unexpectedly, a sadness drifts through his mind. He knows the scents, but not the girl they belong to. 

It doesn’t make much sense, but Nico wants to know her. She has excellent taste in perfume. What else does she have excellent taste in? He would like to know. He finds himself wondering about it at practice too. Once it happened during a game. Nico plays at too high of a level to be that distracted by perfume. Plus, this is a huge building and the chances of bumping into her are low. 

The elevator hits the bottom floor. Nico hooks a left towards the mail room, opening the door with his fob. He takes in the room of gray mailboxes, seeing he is alone. He walks over to his, sliding the key in and turning it open. He cringes when he sees the amount of mail stuffed inside. The box is almost full. Understandable considering that he can’t remember the last time he came down this way. Getting mail is a mundane task for Nico. Sure he walks by the mailroom every day when he gets home, but those extra few steps feel like too much effort after a grueling game or an OT loss. 

Carefully, he slides his hands on the top and bottom of the mailbox. He glides the big stack of paper out of his box, then curses when the package box key falls to the floor between his Nikes. Nico gets the papers the rest of the way out, tucking them against his chest before he crouches down to grab the key. 

As he does, the door swings open and quick foot steps speak inside. Nico keeps his gaze down, not wanting to take the chance of recognition. His fingers grasp the key in his hand and he slides it into the package box. He twists the lock open, grabbing a package out. It’s a sponsorship box he knew to expect. He shuts the door to the box then stiffens as he smells that same perfume from the elevator.

He shoots up like a bolt of lightning.

“It’s you!”

“OH MY GOD!” The brunette yells, tossing her mail into the air. “I didn’t know anyone was in here!” 

“Oh, I-I’m so sorry.” Nico mumbles. He tosses his mail onto the table in the center of the room, then rushes over to help her pick hers up.

Crouched down on the ground, Nico catches the gaze of the most stunning green eyes he has ever seen. They’re framed with long, curled eyelashes and a soft purple eye shadow that makes them pop. Her face is filled out with a full pink mouth and rounded cheeks that dust pink from their interaction. Long, brunette hair falls over her shoulder where it is held in a high pony tail. Holy smokes, his perfume queen is gorgeous.

“Do I know you?” She murmurs as they stand back up. Nico hands her mail in his hands over, but not before sneaking a peak at her name: Alexis.

His perfume queen, Alexis.

“Uh… I don’t think so.” Nico shakes his head.

“So what did you mean when you said 'it’s you'?”

“Oh! Um…” Nico pauses. How is he gonna say this and sound normal. “I recognize you from your perfume.”

Her thin eyebrows furrow together. 

Shit, that wasn’t it.

“I smell it every day.” He tries agin. She looks to the side, taking a slight step away from him.

Also not it.

“Okay.” She nods, looking down at her mail. She flips it over so the address is facing down. 

“What brand is it?” He asks, shoving his hands into his pockets so he looks less intimidating. An amused smile pulls up one corner of her mouth. Then she sucks her cheeks in, looking down at her shoes. She is wearing black and white Nikes too, but more athletic, paired with light blue scrubs. A name badge is clipped to her pants that says Lexi, not Alexis. 

“It’s YSL, flowers and flames.” She finally responds, hiking her bag over her shoulder.

“Nice. Maybe I can spray some on my pillow.” He tries to joke.

It doesn’t land.

He mutters a Swiss explicative under his breath as she purses her lips together. Her green eyes widen and she inhales a deep breath.

“Sephora has a sale right now.” She offers up. Red streaks into Nico’s pale cheeks. He turns, clearing his throat and heading back to his pile of mail.

“Good to know. Sorry about your mail.”

“Thanks for helping me…?” She murmurs back to him, ending with a question like she isn’t sure what to call him.

“Nico.”

“Thank you, Nico.”

“Least I could do.” He says as he gathers his mail back into his arms.

“I’m Lexi.” She tells him as she holds the mail room door open for him. He shuffles out with his arms loaded down. “Are you going up?” She motions to the elevator.

“Ah, no. Well, yes.” He closes his eyes at his stammering. Damn, is today his first day speaking English? “I am going up, but I’m going to take the stairs. Didn’t get my steps in yet.”

She pauses, like she might say something, then nods.

“Have a good day. Nice meeting you.”

“You too.” He shouts after her before dipping into the stairwell. He looks up at all the flights of stairs he has to climb, then gets to it before he can talk himself into getting back in the elevator with Lexi. As much as he wants to, he thinks he’s freaked her out enough today. 

By the time Nico gets to his floor, he is huffing and puffing. He may be in peak condition right now for hockey, but skating is no match for the strength it takes to climbs that many stairs. Sweat spills from his hairline, beading down his neck and shoulders to collect at the small of his back in a puddle. He struggles to pull the keys to his place out, dropping mail with each movement. He gets the door open, collecting the envelopes then letting the door slam behind him after he gets into his place.

“Fuck me.” He mutters, going directly to the table to drop it all off. 

A quiet knock hits his front door. Nico looks towards it with narrowed eyes then stalks over to the door, annoyed by everything that has occurred in the last ten minutes. He flings the door open, expecting to see one of his teammates who also lives in the building.

Instead it’s Lexi. 

Nico softens his face, seeing her holding an envelope addressed to him in front of her coy face.

“You dropped this.”

“Oh. Thanks.” He smiles sheepishly, grabbing the envelope from her hand. “I swear I’m not normally that weird. I’m very normal.” A smile stretches her perfect, pink lips apart. Lips that Nico wants to feel brushing against his, that perfume he is obsessed with melting into his skin from her body heat meeting his. 

What is wrong with him? He just told her he is normal and now he’s picturing her kissing him and grinding into his-

“Good to know this is what my perfume turns you into… bye Nico.”

Nico’s heart flutters in his chest. Did she just… flirt with him? His brown eyes raise over her head for a second, then come back to her face.

“See you around?”

“Yeah.”

“Say hi when you do.” She offers as she walks backwards.

Nico’s lips part in surprise and awe, unable to move his mouth to speak anything else to her. 

An easy wave is lifted over to him as she heads back into the elevator. 

The strangest giggle comes out of Nico’s mouth as he walks back into his apartment. He catches his reflection in the windows across the room. He looks like all seven of the dwarves wrapped up into one person. 

He may have just met her, but Nico Hischier is hooked on more than just Lexi’s perfume.

Read more Nico and Lexi here.

[burningcheese-merchant]

Hi, you're the first person on Tumblr I ever asked (still don't know how it works)

But how does Nutmeg Tiger feel about the kids in your Beast Redemption canon? Golden Cheese? Burning Spice and how he changed so much?

My "actually sitting down and answering asks" bender continues lol.

Nutmeg Tiger was quite shocked and confused when she noticed her master start to change. She's been fed the same stories about him all her life, had the same thoughts and expectations drilled into her skull as all the other Wild Spices. They favor the strong. Burning Spice favors the strong. Their raison d'être is power, battle, and bloodshed, and anyone who stands in their master's way must be destroyed, in keeping with the wanton destruction Burning Spice always craved.

But... Golden Cheese. That woman... That bird. Nutmeg was aware of her master's fixation on her from the get-go (it creeped her out a lot sometimes, but she always held her tongue), and obeyed when he demanded the bird be brought to him. She hated Golden Cheese almost by instinct, for any enemy of her master was an enemy of hers. She was outraged whenever Golden insulted him, and tried to escape his clutches, and when she actually defeated him (now THAT was a shock. She always thought her master was invincible. How could this be?). But she stood by and continued obeying his commands, even after that illusion she'd had of him being unstoppable was shattered. It was all she could do, in all honesty, for she never knew anything else.

But Burning Spice kept going after her. First to fight - but not even for the Soul Jam, just for fun. When Nutmeg tried to question this, Spice shut her down with prejudice and without explaining himself. She never asked again after that; she only had one head, she couldn't afford to lose it... And regardless, he was her master, and she cannot and must not question him.

...But then he started doing more than just fighting Golden Cheese. He started just... talking to her. Spending time with her. His infatuation with her was ever-present, but Nutmeg saw it slowly evolve from entirely selfish and deranged (even Nutmeg thought he was a psycho lol) to more tempered, healthy and genuine. Furthermore, Spice himself began to... calm down, for lack of a better term. He became more somber. More subdued. He seemed lost in thought often, when he was back home. His words and tone of voice began to lose some of their bite. He didn't want to go on hunts or destroy things as much anymore. If Nutmeg Tiger had it in her to say it - to anyone at all, including to herself - Spice almost seemed... depressed.

And it was Golden Cheese's fault, Nutmeg Tiger was certain. She was doing something to her master. In addition to stealing his power AND his heart, she has stolen his spirit - and for this, Nutmeg Tiger only hated her more. Greedy, haughty, conniving bird. If only Burning Spice had succeeded in killing her when he had the chance (she does not know or understand that he never wanted this in the first place; if Golden died, who would entertain him?)...

Worse still was when her master started bringing her there. He started bringing Golden Cheese back to Beast-Yeast, back to the Spice Ridge, to visit the Wild Spices. What- what even- what is this? What nonsense is this? He's bringing their sworn nemesis around like it's normal! Like he's bringing his girlfriend home to his family! (Which unironically is what he's doing lol that sly dog) And the other spices are OKAY WITH THIS! THEY ENJOY SEEING HER! THEY WARM UP TO HER AND LAY DOWN THEIR ARMS ALMOST INSTANTLY! Fools! Weaklings! Cowards, all of them! Is she the only one with any backbone left?! Is she the only one who sees and remembers the bird's treachery?!

Of COURSE Nutmeg Tiger is angry when she actually realizes that Burning Spice has well and truly fallen in love with Golden Cheese - and that Golden Cheese has fallen for him in turn, and thus they'd begun a relationship. She can't really say she's shocked, not anymore (probably not back then, either, her master was down BAD), but she certainly is appalled. In fact, Nutmeg almost feels... betrayed. All of that time and hard work, the blood and sweat and tears, spent on trying to follow HIS orders. LIVES were lost in the pursuit of this thief! And he just... shrugs it off? Shoves them all aside so he can pretend he's a good person and walk off into the sunset holding hands with their enemy? It's honestly insulting. Hurtful, even. The Wild Spices were fools, and now Burning Spice was the king of fools.

She remains resistant to everything for a very long time. Nutmeg Tiger is nothing, absolutely nothing at all, if not principled (read: stubborn). She does not accept her master's change of heart. She is not happy like the other Wild Spices are when he stops mistreating them and actually starts behaving like a proper king/leader. She only engages with Golden Cheese and her entourage (they start coming around too, and she hates it and them, that hooded servant that reeks of smoke most of all) to snap and snarl at them. She does not approve of Spice's relationship with Golden, even if he's genuinely happy - the sort of happiness she's never seen him express before. The kind brought by something light and warm, not the starved, manic, ephemeral glee that came with the carving of flesh and bone by his axe. It's anathema to everything she's ever known. It's an attack on her people, her way of life, HER. Perhaps everyone else has bent the knee to Golden Cheese, but she won't. Even if she's the last one on Earthbread who doesn't.

Except... She ends up bending the knee, too. Last one in line, but even so. When you're forced to hang around people all the time, it starts to reflect on you in some way. Especially if those people refuse to leave you alone, and seem to make an honest effort to speak to you and interact with you and get to know you. Especially that damn bird. Never any anger or malice on her face or in her voice... Did she not remember their rivalry? The pain they inflicted on one another? How can she still treat Nutmeg this way? Why is she being nice to her?

...Nutmeg Tiger never forgot that day. That moment where Golden Cheese condemned Burning Spice for ignoring Nutmeg while she was injured. They didn't even know each other. They were at war. Nutmeg was trying to hurt her. And yet, Golden still spoke up. She still stood up for her. Nutmeg Tiger has never known real kindness, be it giving any to others or receiving it... And there was someone giving her some, even if she herself could argue that it was undeserved. Golden had already driven a nail into Nutmeg's coffin by doing that... And all these visits from her, every attempt at conversation and fun and honest friendship, was just another nail. They stung, but Nutmeg was no stranger to pain... Only this pain kept building until not even she could endure it anymore.

Thus, slowly but surely, with the help and kindness of Golden Cheese and those beside her, Nutmeg Tiger, too, learned to change. Like Spice, she ended up confused. Depressed. She had a crisis of conscience and identity that took a long time to resolve. But when she did, she came out of it all the better, finally realizing the error of her ways and joining everyone else in the light. Perhaps she cannot undo her past actions - none of them can - but forward is the only way one can go regardless. And now, she finally wants to, and there are people there willing to help her along. To say no would be another wrongdoing.

She's happy at Spice and Golden's wedding. She welcomes the unification of their peoples. She accepts Golden Cheese and the others as friends (how strange it still is, to have "friends"...). She proudly serves her master still - both masters now.

And she loves the children like her own. She's the grumpy aunt that takes things too seriously and has a temper, but they still adore her (and vice versa). She helps train them (it is now her life's mission to ensure they become the greatest warriors to ever live lol). She'll carry them around on her back if they ask. She likes when they spend time in the nutmeg tribe. They are Wild Spices just like the rest of them. (She wasn't there when Pepper Jack was born, regrettably; she made it to the GCK a few days later. But she WAS there when Matar Paneer was born. Now THAT was a crazy day lol)

So yeah, there you have it. Nutmeg Tiger gets redeemed, too. Slower than Burning Spice (which is fundamentally absurd lol), but even so. She comes around to everything eventually.

And maybe she starts paying closer attention to "that servant who reeks of smoke"...

[sinnabarmoth]

Trusting You

Pairing: Rafayel x fem|Reader

Summary: Reader is bisexual but hasn't come out to anyone before. She decides that she's going to tell her boyfriend Rafayel first.

Content warnings: None

Length: 1k

~~~

You felt like throwing up. Which probably wasn’t a good sign. Then again, you had felt nauseous the other times you tried to do this. This would make your third attempt at coming out to your boyfriend.

You knew from an early age that you liked boys and a little later on you started to figure out girls were pretty too. Was your first crush on that mermaid princess in your one storybook? Yes. Was there a girl in your primary school that you had developed a crush on and didn’t know how to deal with it so you avoided her at all costs instead? Yes. Have you told anyone that you are bisexual? No.

It wasn’t that you were ashamed of who you were or anything, and you really had nothing to fear living in Linkon and being queer. But the fact remained that you were scared that coming out would change things between you and the people you cared about. You didn’t want things to change. Life was going pretty well. You were doing well at work, you had great friends, and your boyfriend Rafayel was the literal sweetest.

But as time stretched on you felt the weight of your hidden sexuality bearing down on you. So, you had decided that you had enough of living in the closet. You were going to come out and be proud of who you were and to hell with anyone that treated you differently because of it. Out of everyone you thought of telling you decided that you wanted to tell Rafayel first.

It wasn’t because you had found some hot new girlfriend to run off with but you trusted him. Rafayel had never shied away from being supportive of the queer community and had even done a charity auction of some of his exclusive pieces to raise money for trans youth. So you knew you had nothing to fear, but getting the actual words out was proving harder than expected.

You had tried once while over dinner and chickened out. You tried again at the charity auction but again couldn’t say it. Now you were at home with Rafayel, the two of you watching a movie. You weren’t sure why you decided this was when you wanted to try telling him again. Maybe because it was so normal. There was no pressure in this instant.

You kept glancing at him, unable to focus on the screen. It’s was just three little words. “I am bisexual.” That’s all you had to say and it would finally be out there and you wouldn’t have to carry around this secret anymore. At least not around Raf.

Your head was on his shoulder, a blanket draped across your laps. His arm around you was tracing soothing circles across your skin. You focused on the motion, taking even slow breaths to calm yourself.

In and out. In…and out… You could do this. Three little words.

“Raf,” you forced the words out, “Can I tell you something?”

“You know you can tell me anything.” he turned his attention away from the tv. “What is it?”

“I just…I um…” and there your tongue went to lead again.

His brow furrowed as he saw the sentence stuck in your throat. He quickly paused the movie and pulled you closer. “What’s wrong? Are you okay?”

“Yeah. I’m fine, I just…” you took a deep breath and screwed your eyes shut. “I’m bisexual.”

There was silence. Followed by a soft. “Oh.”

“And I’m not saying this for any particular reason! I promise.” your hands fisted the blanket, your eyes still shut tight. “I really do love you and only you but I’ve been wanting to tell you for a long time now but every time I tried I kept getting nervous and not doing it. And I don’t want this to change anything with us. Really I don’t. And if you need a minute to think about this--”

“Hey! Hey! Hey!” Rafayel put a finger to your lips, “Calm down. You’re gonna run out of air talking that fast.”

You peeked your eyes open. “Sorry.”

“No. You don’t need to apologize. I have no problem with you being bisexual, I’m happy that you told me.” he said giving you a reassuring smile. “And I’m sorry if I made you think that you couldn’t come out to me sooner.”

“It isn’t you. I know you wouldn’t have cared it’s just…” you took another breath and gathered your thoughts, “I haven’t told anyone about it. Ever. Not any of my friends or family. I’ve known for years but I always felt weird when I thought of bringing it up.”

“Cause you didn’t want things to change.” He said.

You nodded. “But I’ve been in the closet for so long and I was getting sick of it. And I knew I could trust you to not freak out about it.”

“I get it. I’m proud of you though. And I love you, exactly as you are.” he pressed a gentle kiss to your forehead. “And whether you want to tell others in the future or if this is just between us right now that is fine. We’re gonna go at your pace, but I know everyone else will still love and cherish you no matter who you are capable of falling in love with.”

You melted against him, endorphins rushing through your blood and filling your mind with warmth as you finally truly relaxed for the first time in years. That weight that had been dragging you down for years finally being lifted to let you have this moment of acceptance and peace.

“Thanks.” you whispered. “I really needed to hear that.”

There was a moment of silence as you let yourself calm back down. Then Rafayel chuckled. You looked up at him. “What?”

“I can’t lie, my first reaction when you came out was, ‘Hi bisexual. I’m Rafayel.’” he said with a teasing smile.

You grabbed the pillow and whacked him with a laugh and roll of your eyes. “You are so lucky I love you, you dork.”

[nylloth]

My opinion about Arcane s2 (mostly Viktor)

I'm trying to be neutral on this, but I'm upset with what they did to Viktor.

I was wrong about their relationship with Sky (but I had hope), you can see he never really cared for her and the animators put their all into conveying that. Plus, let's say Sky represents Viktor's humanity and Viktor himself gives up on her. And it's a lot easier for him to give her up than it is for Jayce, who he's trying to show this new “world” to.

They have a lot of gay moments with Jayce, I don't know why the writers call it “family”. It's really hard to see family in that. It seems like at some point they decided to change the plot, because at the end Jayce and Viktor just disappear and no one just doesn't care what Jayce has with Mel.

The thing I didn't like the most was how they changed Ryze, that now Ryze is Viktor, the all-powerful mage. We know from the documentary that it was Ryze at one point. That would make more sense than Viktor traveling through time and constantly dooming himself to a series of miseries. But then again, they added the “all for Jayce” aspect to it.

You can see it's supposed to be a different character, right?

I really didn't like how they treated Sky because obviously she wasn't an evil manipulative core. Viktor killed her twice for his own purposes. Once by accident, the second time on purpose. Look, you add a girl who is IN LOVE with a man, make her die twice for him, and show WHY he doesn't care. It's a dirty act. Amanda said she was “proud to write Sky”, I don't know what there is to be proud of. As a woman, it was painful for me to watch. You didn't have to do that. Did you mean to say the character is gay? You don't have to humiliate women to do that.

I always hoped Viktor wouldn't have any romantic innuendos because feelings, for Herald, are a weakness. But the fact that they're indulging JayVik fans makes it look NOTHING like that. Like, I'm not a fan of this ship, but even I don't consider what they showed as brotherly feelings. Especially from Viktor's side. He is literally too concerned with Jayce's opinion.

I also think that the writers largely emphasized the clips and fights, but didn't add to the story itself. I mean Silco's deep thoughts in the first season on political topics and the theme of family in general was shown much better.

Herald is essentially non-existent. It's a character for the last two episodes who is immediately killed off because of a few words from Jayce. Viktor returns and they vaporize somewhere. I take it this is starting a recurring time loop.

They kind of tried to put in Viktor's “here he's come to the realization on his own that humanity is bad”, but they did it SO FAST and literally because of one event that it looked bad. Yeah, it's not about hexcore. VIKTOR SUPPOSEDLY CAME TO THIS ON HIS OWN. Why? Because Jayce shot him, and then Jayce helped him realize otherwise. No, really, what was that?

I also didn't like the redesign. I was hoping the mask would look different, but it looks HORRIBLE.

It's supposed to give the impression that Viktor “shut down and withdrew into himself”, they also tried to make him a “deity”, but since it only lasted 20 minutes before he went back to his normal state, it didn't make any sense… Anyway… I sympathize with everyone who loved Viktor specifically, outside jayvik ship (happy for you guys). I know they are excited, but this is not Viktor's story. You see, Viktor doesn't have his own personal story now, he's too connected to Jayce. You could say he did everything and nothing at the same time. Because he keeps running this time loop, but he's running it because of Jayce's influence.

Waiting for his updated lore to read….. idk I'll read it and forget it like a bad dream.

[tansyuduri]

Chapter Two of "To Break A King" Is up

“Well, she knows how to hold a grudge,” Merlin observed softly.

“Don’t talk,” Arthur ordered. Talking would use up the little air Merlin had more quickly.

As always, Merlin did not listen to him. Instead, he shook his head and, with what was clearly a great effort, managed to push himself up slightly to lean against the magical membrane.

“Don’t you remember, dollophead? I never do what I’m told.”

“Merlin! Don’t talk!” Arthur urged.

“I sort of have to,” Merlin continued. “Well, not really, but I want to say things.”

“ Mer lin!”

“I wanted to say, I love you. This is not your fault. And if this is it for me, I’m—” Merlin cleared his throat. “Well, I’m partly glad you're here… Glad you’re here for my sake, but not glad about you having to watch. You don’t think you might be able to close your eyes?”

Merlin looked toward him, eyes full of hope. Then he nodded in understanding, not waiting for a reply. “I don’t think I would be able to either if I was in your spot.”

“Merlin. SHUT. UP. You’re using up air!”

“I know… but you can’t reach me either way. And we both know I cannot go a few hours without air.”

Arthur strained harder, desperate to stop this. His fingers scrambled against the cold stone floor, just out of reach from giving Merlin his freedom.

“I’m trying to think of what to say so you won’t blame yourself. What might help you… But I don’t know what to say,” Merlin continued rambling, using up precious air.

“I suppose… I love you and I wouldn’t change a thing? Well, I would change being in here. But if the choice was having the time I spent with you and dying here or never having met you, I know that I’d pick…” A pause, “I’d pick being with you, just in case that was not clear.”

“You stupid self-sacrificial… idiot of a sorcerer,” Arthur gasped out, agony and love filling his chest.

“It's not very nice to insult someone who is dying,” Merlin responded. “But of course, you would. You’ve never had nice manners. You should probably work on that.”

Arthur could feel the tears running down his face. He hurriedly brushed them away, then went back to struggling to reach the membrane.

“I love you, Arthur. With all that I am. Please don’t let this break you. I don’t want this to break you.” For the first time, he sounded frightened. Merlin finally couldn’t hide his fear, and what he couldn’t hide his fear of was how this would affect Arthur.

Also, was it Arthur, or did Merlin’s voice sound strained in another way?

No, it was starting, Arthur realized as Merlin gasped lightly and then tried to normalize his breathing.

“I love you,” Merlin told him, sounding breathless. “Always have... Always will. Well, not at first, thought you were a prat then... But perhaps…” He cut off to take a struggling breath of air.

Arthur could see Merlin's trembling. It was the one reaction to what was happening to him that he couldn't hide. Because he was trying to hide it. For Arthur.

Merlin gasped a few times. Clearly struggling and managing the words. “Goodbye, clotpole…love… you…” He then looked away from Arthur, likely so Arthur could not see the fear in his gaze.

Read it here!

[mukuberry]

The constant references to Otome Dissection are really interesting. Otome Dissection is about a suicidal girl who uses her connection to another person as her life line, constantly clinging to them and depending on them until they're drained and she goes too far and ends up dying. Which fits for Monitoring Miku, right? We don't know enough about her life to say she's suicidal but her entire existence is focused on the person she loves- except the song doesn't compare her to Otome Dissection, but instead the person she loves. She wants to "save (their) dissected heart".

At first, this doesn't seem to make much sense, right? This person, who I'll called "Monitored" for convenience, wants nothing to do with her- atleast until the end. But when you start picking apart Otome Dissection's lyrics more, the way Miku views their 'relationship' starts making more sense.

All throughout Monitoring, Miku showers Monitored in praise and comfort, telling them to just show her everything they want to hide, show all their pain so she can accept and heal it. In Otome Dissection, our protagonist is hesitant to fully rely on her lover, stuck inbetween wanting to pour everything on them and wanting to hide away from them. "Both of us with our masks on, we flirted" "Yeah, there's a kid there, lost in anything and everything, shedding tears, meowing 'SOS' with their eyes only halfway open" "I don't want to go so far as to share all the things that cause me pain, I just want to run away from this love" "'I don't want to live' is what I should've said, will I ever find peace?" This helps make Miku's perspective in Monitoring alot clearer- she's not just trying to break Monitored's will down so they let her in, she's genuinely convinced they secretly want her, and is simply putting on a mask of not wanting to let her in, very literally hiding how they really feel behind the door, and she just needs to convince them to let her in. They're 'purposely' "sprinkling spices" on the two of them, and it's Miku's job to "lick away (the) spices".

In some way, she's not completely wrong. We hear Miku call Monitored constantly through the song, and since she's talking to the door while she does this, I imagine its more of some way to check they're actually there listening to her rather than wanting them to pick up. Based on the vibrating sound, she's calling their cellphone rather than landline, and she only seems to have the one phone, so why don't they ever block her? Why don't they ever do anything to get rid of her? Why do they go and listen to her everytime? Unfortunately for Miku, it's not because they're super secretly in love with her and playing a game, but as Miku makes very clear in the song, Monitored is extremely lonely. They obviously don't want to be stalked and harassed, it's clearly having a negative affect on their mental state, their vision distorting whenever Miku is around- I doubt they're literally hallucinating but rather just feeling like they're going insane from the constant monitoring. We see their vision clear up and go back to normal when Miku lets up a little at the bridge, only for the visual distortions to reach their peak when she comes back full force. When Monitored eventually gives up and lets her in, their vision is normal again, as if they've just accepted her constant presence in their life as normal. Giving up is easier than resisting someone who has no intention of stopping, and Monitored is someone usually who spends everyday alone, having no one to share their hobbies with, staying up all night until eventually crying themselves to sleep- they're unable to completely shut out the only person who gives them any sort of love and attention. Miku is very much aware of this, and this is what she preys on to break them down.

It also adds a sense of urgency to Miku's harassment. Monitored's mental health was already bad before all the stalking due to the isolation they deal with, and Otome Dissection ends with the person she loves too drained to help her anymore, leading in her death. If Miku doesn't 'save' Monitored from themselves, she's convinced the worst could happen. Her harassment starts sexual but quickly turns into overbearing comfort, trying to convince them to just lean entirely on her instead of suffering alone. We see at the bridge she stops her constant conversations with Monitored, still waiting outside the door but for much shorter amounts of time. In Otome Dissection's words, she starts to grow "cold", having the "burning passion" pulled out of her. Since she's the one connecting her love to the song, she probably realises what's happening and that's why she goes back to harassing them even more intensely than she did before. In her eyes, she's keeping them alive, showing them that she'll always be there for them. In Monitored's eyes, she's showing them that there's no escape, that any moment of peace and sign of relenting won't last long. Eventually, Monitored is broken down and Miku gets to finally be her idol's savior.

Stream Monitoring 👁👍

[arcanarix]

Make That Double, Ch11 - Yan!SatoSugu X Fem!Reader [AO3]

❥ Word Count: ~6.8K

❥ Warnings: none in this chapter

❥ Summary: Double the trouble, or double the fun? Difficult to say when you're unfortunately roped into the affairs of two powerful shamans who can't leave each other alone, either.

Slower moments have become a bit rarer, and you cherish the moments where Geto keeps his hands entirely off of you. Especially around the twins, he’s come to respect the idea that you want to keep those matters entirely separate. Even if in his mind, he might think that a happily married couple who can’t keep their hands off each other is a healthy thing for the twins to see, you just don’t want to entertain it yourself.

Because no matter what he thinks, none of this is fucking real.

Geto and the twins have taken the liberty to take you out, first to a bakery as per tradition (the girls can’t go without their sweet treats), then a stroll around the park (again, as per tradition), and Geto insists remaining behind for a bit for a picnic and some sight seeing. While you engage with the twins, he sets aside time for solo meditation in the fields.

“Mom! I’m so excited for you and Mr. Geto to get married!” Nanako exclaims in the middle of attempting to snatch one of their hand-held game consoles from Mimiko. Mimiko huffs at her sister, keeping the console just out of Nanako’s reach while she’s got her brows furrowed in concentration, trying to beat another level at a classic Sonic the Hedgehog game. “It’s going to be so great for you to really be our Mom for real!”

“Nanako! For fuck’s sake,” Mimiko scoffs as she shoves her away. “Wait your turn! I’m almost done with this level and then you can play!”

“Girls,” Geto cautions from afar. “Be kind to each other! Remember I don’t like to see you two fight.”

“We’re not fighting!” they shout back in unison and you can’t help but hold back a little snort at that. Typical sister behavior.

“She’s just being rude as usual,” Mimiko sneers while shooting a glare at her. Nanako fumes, her nostrils flaring.

“Well you’re just hogging the game!” Nanako shoots back while scrunching her nose in disgust.

You find your lips twitching into a little smile at the exchange. Such a normal one in spite of the world they’re in, where you’re still not sure if you can make any sense of it. But little moments like this—where they behave like people and not like they’re plotting to change the world to fit an agenda that doesn’t seem plausible in the long run—it doesn’t feel that way here.

“So which one of you is the older twin?” you ask playfully, knowing full well that’s not the sort of question you want to ask twins.

“I am,” Mimiko points out in a matter-of-fact tone, side-eying her sister, and Nanako huffs in response. Such animated reactions from Nanako which is hallmark for the younger sibling in your experience.

“It doesn’t matterrrrrr because I’m the prettier one,” Nanako retorts while sticking out her tongue. Mimiko rolls her eyes at that and the game plays the level complete jingle when she hands the console over to Nanako.

“Finally! Sheesh, you take forever to beat these levels,” Nanako taunts as she navigates her character—she prefers Tails while Mimiko goes with Knuckles or Shadow—through the next underground level.

You giggle again at the scene and freeze the moment you feel Geto’s presence creep up from behind you, settling beside you and pulling you into his chest. You don’t say a word, shutting your eyes as he presses a kiss to the crown of your head and then to your temple. His arms snake around your waist, securing a protective hold.

“You seem like you’re enjoying yourself,” he murmurs, his tone tender, and his eyes flicker with a bit of amusement, but not from tormenting you this time. No, no—he’s happy you’re trying to make an active effort to be a part of this family.

For a moment, things go still between the two of you, and it’s not uncomfortable, exactly. You take notice of the way the sun’s warmth bathes your skin and you ground yourself with the sound of the soft rustling of leaves as soft gusts of wind rushes by. The more you concentrate on grounding, the more you can feel the pounding of Geto’s heart. A gentle ba-dump, ba-dump, ba-dump rhythm may have been a therapeutic one if it’s from someone else.

But you remember your place. You’re not free yet.

He calls your name and your eyes snap open again. He glances down at you with his eyes shining in the sun, twinkling like the little gemstones those violet eyes of his resemble. Yes, he does appear something akin to royalty, but he’s a slippery serpent beneath that fair facade.

“Yes, darling?” you whisper, wishing dearly to escape to another reality where you’re not in this cage.

“I love you,” he murmurs into your skin as he presses another kiss to your temple. “We all love you.”

He can believe that all he likes, but you know it can’t be true. Your fingers play with a few stray strands of his hair which gleams so brilliantly in the daylight. He does have such beautiful hair and such beauty is wasted on a man of his nature.

“I know,” you reply, but you don’t know. Not really. You’re not sure if you can ever believe a word that comes out of his mouth because there’s always going to be something else to decipher. “I know you do, darling. I’m happy that you’re happy with me.”

His finger trails along the gold chain on your neck, admiring how it reflects the light. That same finger dares to dip lower to trace little patterns along your collarbone and you suppress a shiver throughout your body.

“You make me the most alive I’ve felt in years,” he remarks—he’s been saying that a ton more lately, you notice—his tone reverent, like he’s praying to you like you’re his God instead. His hand finds yours, intertwining them as his thumb massages along your knuckles. Soft. Slow. Gentle. But each touch leaves behind a tingling sensation like in a way he’s marking you in a much more discreet way, in a more insidious way. You feel as if you’re restricted from movement or from any true protest, his hold on you tight, suffocating, much like his overall presence in your life is.

Somehow this feels more intimate than any time you have with him in bed which somehow feels impersonal and detached. “All I wish is that you feel like you belong with us because you do, my love.”

The smile that forms on his lips is soft; it’s such an unusual sight—like he’s trying to find some inkling of the man he might have been once upon a time before you came into the picture. Your lips purse; what kind of man had he been in the past? Any different to the version of himself now? At one point, has he tried to be kind?

You don’t know why you’re so curious all of a sudden, but if there’s anything the world has taught you, it’s that villains in the story are made, not born right off the bat.

“Sheesh, get a room, Mr. Geto,” Nanako grimaces while watching the two of you interact. Mimiko has a blank but you can definitely read displeased expression on her face. Your complexion pales at the remark and Geto can’t help but laugh in that empty and condescending way of his until his shoulders shake and he adjusts you so that you’re in a more comfortable position in his lap.

“I’m sorry, Nanako,” he replies through a string of hearty chuckles. “Don’t mind us. You focus on your sister.”

“Kind of hard to do that when you’re making it all gross and hot and heavy and we’re stuck watching it like non-consenting voyeurs,” Nanako quips with a flat look on her otherwise animated face. Mimiko hums in agreement.

“Well, at least we know Geto hasn’t forgotten how to charm a woman,” Mimiko points out with a note of sarcasm as she quirks an eyebrow. “For a while there I was concerned that with you being all work and no play you had forgotten how to find pleasure in the simpler things in life, Mr. Geto.”

You cover your own flushed face, and you can feel Geto’s gaze avert to you and the embarrassment sinks deeper into your very core of your being. You don’t even know why you feel this way but you have made it a point in the past not to behave in such a way around the twins.

You don’t even like entertaining this.

“You two,” Geto objects, and you can’t believe you see him fighting back a flushed face himself. This is the first time you have seen him lose his composure like this. “Don’t make me ground you both again.”

Nanako gawks, appalled, sticking her nose into the air before twisting herself fully away so she doesn’t have to witness the two of you faux doting on each other while she tries to focus on the Sonic level she’s still in the middle of completing.

You laugh openly again at her reaction and are then cut off as Geto jerks you to his direction, his lips hovering just above yours as your bewildered eyes bore into his before they squeeze shut the minute his lips meet yours. This time the kiss isn’t forceful or invasive, but coaxing. Gentle. A hand rakes through your hair as he deepens the kiss, the flat of his tongue resting over yours. As he pulls away a barely visible line of spit connects your lips and he breaks off the connection with a little flick of his tongue. His face is still flushed but more so from arousal than embarrassment.

“My love,” he rasps in a seductive manner, cradling your face.

“We all adore you so,” he reminds you again.

You don’t protest when he captures your lips in another passionate, consuming kiss—mostly because it might cause a bit of an unwanted scene—your arms snaking around his neck, your lips moving against his to appease his efforts. That’s what he wants, isn’t it? To seem normal, healthy?

You can do that. Just for a while longer.

The day you loathe is rapidly approaching. Miss Suda has taken the liberty of assisting you with your wedding preparations along with a few of Geto’s other servants. Geto has all the money in the world to throw away for the sake of the spectacle, and he’s all about showing off.

You stand there motionless before the large mirror spanning one wall almost like an accent, hands to your sides as Manami Suda fusses around with the silk of your wedding kimono. Her fingers are nimble, deft; her voice remains soft with that underlying edge of disdain (whether toward you or toward Geto is hard to discern for sure); her words with you are jagged and sharp like the jewels on her neck.

“I know you don’t want to do this,” begins Suda, her tone lacking any true comfort in them. “But I guess, playing the long game comes with its compromises.”

You do not respond to that. More like you don’t have any real response to that that won’t come off as bitter and vindictive which you do have every right to feel. Because if there’s one aspect of your agency Geto can’t change, it’s your right to feel the way you fucking feel.

In a way, you think of your silence as another way to protest. It’s one she dismisses easily with a sigh, though. She continues to shuffle around you as she adjusts your kimono, examining, assessing every curve and crevice of your body, determining your measurements, practically eyeballing it and not really utilizing the tape measure in her hands. Almost like this stuff comes as easy as breathing for someone like her, and given how effortlessly fabulous you think of her, it can’t be too far off.

The kimono she’s chosen for you is a beautiful one, but wearing it feels like a ball and chain, just a bitter reminder of your sorrows since your arrival here and now Geto hopes to pin you down permanently.

“For a week before the binding ceremony, you’re expected to fast along with Geto,” Suda explains, her voice still as detached as ever like she’s discussing something completely arbitrary like today’s weather. She gestures for you to lift your arms, her eyes scrutinizing the intricately patterned silk as it falls gracefully around your figure. “Then during the first ritual, he’s going to mix his blood with yours, but not the other way around this time for obvious reasons.”

Your eyes flash with irritation, undirected at Miss Suda of course.

Gee, you might have never guessed! Your lips curl into a bitter little smile at that notion. How can it be otherwise with someone like Suguru Geto, their ‘enlightened one’? Someone who can never dare taint his pristine sorcerer blood with that of a lowly monkey like you, even if he claims to love you. This marriage feels more like a purification process.

What an audacious way to put it, but that seems right up Geto’s alley.

“So what else should I know about the ceremony?” you dare to query like you’re interested in what to brace yourself for but your voice drenched in sarcasm. You fail to mask the bitterness in you but you figure it doesn’t matter around Miss Suda. As a woman, she understands your plight, your disdain, your reluctance to accept the status quo, and certainly empathizes with you but she has to maintain some semblance of her mask should Geto waltz into the room uninvited.

“Well, a long-winded speech from Geto, I suppose,” Suda answers with a sigh that borders on sympathetic. As sympathetic someone as stoic as her can appear toward non-sorcerers, even if you are a sister regardless of your status. “And you have to give one as well. I can help you prepare one. I can’t expect any sentiments you have for Geto are anything positive.”

Oh, if only. Maybe then this all won’t feel like such a fucking joke but here you are, about to be tied to a man you despise more than words in your extensive vocabulary can express. That says something.

“You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me,” you mutter under your breath, practically seething at the mere prospect. “Guess he’ll find any way to stroke that already over-inflated ego of his…”

Manami chuckles at that as she steps back to admire you in your wedding kimono.

Her dark green eyes meet yours through the mirror as she adjusts some of the wrinkles on your hips.

“I think I got all of your measurements. I’ll tailor the kimono to complement your body. You’ve got quite the figure,” Suda compliments with a small smile. “And of course, we can figure out what we’re going to do about hair and makeup. It’s still your wedding day, and while it might not be your dream wedding, we still want you to look your best.”

The words fall flat. Practically meaningless to you but you know she’s actually trying to forge some kind of bond with you and she doesn’t even need to do that.

You mumble a half-hearted, “Thank you, Miss Suda,” as your gaze lands on the mirror again. The reflection staring back is someone you no longer recognize. While the kimono is stunning as you’ve stated before, it’s an iridescent cascade of blues, silvers, and a hint of some pink shifting beneath the lights, it still feels like a mockery. Just some cheap version of a bride’s gown (even if Geto has spent a fortune on this damn fabric).

“Please, call me Manami,” Suda waves off, her dark green eyes twinkling with something that you can’t name. “Of course. I’m going to grab some more supplies, so hang tight for a few, alright?”

Manami then saunters out of the room with a little flounce to her shapely hips (that you’re a bit envious of yourself, you can’t help your eyes trailing after her a bit) and into the restroom to fetch more supplies, her absence leaving you alone with your raging thoughts. The silence is suffocating, deafening—broken only by the soft rustle of the silk kimono as you shift in your spot.

You give yourself another once over, glancing once again at your reflection, but all that stares back is still a stranger to you. You long for the woman you once were, someone full of fight and might and spirited as ever, but she seems beaten and bruised when you look hard enough past the superficial. All the little marks Geto or Gojo have left behind has tainted your perception of yourself. You feel dirty, used recklessly by two horrid men. You appear more fitting as a servant girl than a greedy sorcerer’s wife, yet he deems you the worthiest among a sea of unworthy.

You find your mind beginning to wander off to another reality, envisioning a scenario where you marry your real dream man and not some nightmarish ghoulish version of him that you find in Geto. You think of someone who’s attentive, someone who’s kind, someone who doesn’t coerce you or force you into some twisted fantasies his best friend has about sharing his girl. You’re not even his girl and you refuse to address yourself as such. Not without the title he’s thrust upon you being laden with resentment and bitterness. Foul like those curse spirits Geto is forced to consume.

You only ever hear him speak ill of his cursed technique, and you’re surprised he even vents to you about such thing when before he doesn’t bother to discuss his rituals in exorcisms of unsuspecting clients. In some ways, it seems that he’s begun to use you as a way to ground himself between the burdens he’s forced to carry on his labored shoulders. It’s almost as if…when he speaks anything of his role as a sorcerer, he doesn’t view his role as his sworn duty. More like an obligation he’s been forced into himself.

It’s almost as if…being a sorcerer is something he’s never wanted, either. While he enjoys being worshiped like a deity without a shadow of a doubt, he doesn’t appear to want to do this all alone. Yes, you understand you’re here to fill a certain void Gojo won’t be able to fill at one point in the future. But there’s something else there that you just can’t wrap your head around.

There are still too many missing pieces to this large puzzle. But the sooner you fit everything together, the sooner it might be easier to get the fuck out of there.

After the first few bits of preparations for the ceremony, you retire back to the bedroom and prepare a bath for yourself. Geto has not yet returned from his typical duties, and you don’t really care to wait much longer. You shut off the main lights and lit some tea lights to rim the bath tub and help yourself to some of the Epsom salt and bath oils Geto likes to spoil you with from time to time. This might have been even better with a bath tray full of bountiful gourmet snacks, but you can do without them.

As you wait for the bath to fill up you reach for some other supplies. In the middle of twisting around you realize the mirror beginning to crack and a shard flies toward your hand and you shriek from the contact, frightened out of your wits as you scramble out of the restroom and slam the door shut. You can’t even see what attacked you; it just seems like it came out of nowhere and now you’re fully naked with a sliced up hand and as blood drips out from the large gashes you try desperately to dab it clean with a towel you still had in possession.

Geto rushes through the door upon hearing you scream, calling out your name —what timing—and his eyebrows flash upon seeing you so shaken up, like you’ve seen a ghost which in his world isn’t far off because you couldn’t perceive who or what had been in there with you.

Geto dashes to you what feels like seconds, careful in handling you as you try to babble some excuses over what happened, trying to tell him you’re fine and it’s just a few scratches but he hushes your rambling and tells you to calm down.

Funny words coming from a man who looks far from calm about this.

Geto gingerly grabs the injured hand. He inspects the cuts and gashes, his eyebrows furrowing into what almost seems something akin to concern. It almost looks like how he looks when he tries to express guilt for when Satoru takes things too far between the three of you.

“Who dared to do this to you?” he demands, his voice low, grainy, feral eyes meeting your frightened ones. “Who the hell did this to you?”

“I-it was an accident,” you stammer, struggling to form a coherent response and a little dazed as you take in what’s happening—he’s not just concerned, he’s absolutely furious. Not with you, but with what’s happened to you? Are you sure you’re not hallucinating this entire thing? “I-I was just trying t-to reach for something and s-something cut me. I couldn’t tell what it was and I—!”

His piercing violet gaze renders you nearly breathless, as you endlessly babble on and on and on trying to find the right words but he lets out a sigh out of irritation. It’s not directed at you.

“—Someone attached a curse to you,” he interrupts while a deep scowl stresses his features, his forehead wrinkling. “It’s one I don’t recognize. I’ll take care of the problem, but I’m taking you to the infirmary to get this taken care of or actually…”

He trails his finger along the edges of the largest gash on your hand, his touch gentle, tender, but also clinical like he’s trying to examine your wound like a medic. You grimace from the light sting from the contact, tears welling in the corners of your eyes. He mutters a half-hearted apology under his breath as he gathers some supplies to help clean and disinfect the wounds.

“I’ll take care of this myself,” he snarls in a sharper tone. “I won’t let you out of my sight.”

He’s gentle with his handling of you, such a stark contrast to what you usually see from him. If you don’t know any better you might have glimpsed at something a bit more humane beneath the numerous layers of the role he’s forced into himself as some kind of deity. You know better than to trust what he chooses to show you. It’s all part of some grand scheme. That’s all he knows how to do; he’s a puppeteer. He knows how to string those around him along and it’s not just limited to you. You see that in how he slaps Satoru around like an obedient dog even if he claims to love him too. You can’t tell if a man like him understands what love really is.

If someone like him can truly love at all.

You examine his gestures with a quizzical look on your face. Nothing about this guy adds up at all; everything about him is a conundrum, a mystery. You don’t even understand the half of what kind of burdens that weighs so heavy on his shoulders.

“There,” he comments after a period of silence, inspecting your hand for any cuts or gashes he may have missed while tending to the wounds and ensuring everything is bandaged up. He cradles your hand in both of his, and your jaw slackens as you scrutinize him. It’s hard to make out what thoughts might be raging in his mind, but you’re shocked to find he truly is concerned for your safety.

"Suguru?” you inquire, tilting your head as you continue to search his eyes for something beyond what he chooses to display. You can’t understand it. Does he actually think you’d fall for this? That you’re going to believe he cares for you?

“You don’t have to speak,” he mutters as he leads you to the bed and gestures for you to rest on it. You follow his order without another word. One of his hands brushes through your hair as a way to ground himself, perhaps he’s grappling with what his next steps should be in figuring out who’s planted that curse he’s probably exorcised between this time and you haven’t realized it because you’re not yet gifted with the vision even with the aid of the talisman. He joins you on the bed and pulls you into him, his expression blank, unreadable. You take your uninjured hand and cup one of his cheeks, brushing your thumb against his skin.

“I’m alright now because of you,” you try to soothe him with false praise, but as long as he believes your words does it matter if they’re true or not? All you can ever say is what you know he wants to hear. No one ever likes the truth, especially when it hurts. “Thank you, Suguru.”

You bite down on your lip, snuggling yourself into him, just trying to bring him some semblance of reassurance, of comfort, something you wish you could have yourself but this brings you nothing but more and more resentment building a fortress around your heart. You feel him kiss you on your head again, hugging you close, breathing slow, controlled.

“No one should think of bringing harm to you,” he growls under his breath. “I’ll figure out who planted that curse and see to it that they’re executed on sight. No one should insult either of us like this.”

Your head snaps up at that. Both of you? Are your ears deceiving you? Why is he acting like this—? Why are you finding yourself falling for the act? Because that’s all this is to him, right? Just a little show?

“Suguru,” you begin tentatively, your hand dropping to his chest, drawing idle patterns as you usher for him to look at you. “Look at me; I’m fine now.”

Though I wish that curse offed me the chance it got, you think to yourself. Because if I can’t get out of here alive…

Geto grits his teeth at that, trying to find comfort in what you’re saying but failing; his grip around you constricts like squid arms and you feel your heart racing.

“I know,” he admits finally, loosening his grip as he steps out of bed. “You rest here. I need to take care of a few things. From tomorrow, we begin our fast.”

You nod and watch him as he ambles out of the bedroom, leaving you to dwell on everything.

Everything keeps making my head spin, you think, I don’t know what more to do…

Your eyes widen upon realization and you amble into the restroom to switch off the bath, thankful it hadn’t spilled over during all of this. As you perch on the edge of the tub, you hear the bedroom door creak open again and Geto returns, joining you in the restroom.

He’s brought you a bouquet of flowers, some more pain reliever, chocolates…

And you notice something else, a more bashful expression. Bashful. That’s something you’ve yet to witness from someone who prides himself on being composed and far too above such emotions.

He rests the bouquet of fresh red roses on the bathroom counter and rest the box of chocolates on your lap.

“Those are your favorite, aren’t they? You…mentioned that those were your favorite one time,” he mutters, his gaze averting elsewhere as though he’s trying not to make a big deal of this like he had just moments ago. “Are you alright?”

You blink, gripping the box of chocolates tightly.

“I am,” you whisper, “Don’t worry, darling. I’ll be fine. You exorcised whatever that was already, didn’t you?”

“Yes,” he replies, his gaze landing on the broken area of the mirror. “We’ll get that repaired as well. It might have been a stray curse, but you never know. I’m not very well received in the world of jujutsu and their conservative ways, so they might’ve planted a few things for me here and there.”

Ah, paranoia. Always a fun look on a man who already has so many other issues.

“So you think that thing was really after you?” you ask him, fiddling with the box.

“Perhaps,” he concedes, sliding a finger down your cheek. “Or someone close to me.”

You don’t know how to respond to something like that. You go completely silent but he’s the one kneeling before you now, his hands resting on your knees.

“I see you were drawing a bath,” he comments in a low voice. “You’re free to do that now, of course. There’s nothing here to harm you anymore, Mamma.”

You nod, brushing your hand through his bangs, admiring how silky his hair feels. He takes such good care of it, and your fingers idly twirl a strand while you hum in response.

“Join me?” you invite him, and you catch him flushing slightly in response—yet another moment of bashfulness that’s so rare to see from him. You can’t believe what you’re asking, but this doesn’t have to be more than what it really is for you and that’s trying to fucking survive this torment.

His breath hitches but he stands up, disrobing before you and getting into the tub, the water sloshing a bit as he settles inside. He beckons you to follow and you do, allowing him to pull you onto his lap.

“You’re supposed to be safe here,” he says after a period of silence. You’re not really paying attention, focused on the way the flames on the tea lights still flicker every now and then. “You still are, as long as you’re with me.”

He can keep telling himself that, but you know your own truth, you rown reality. It’s a reality you sorely wish to escape from, but your spirit is beginning to fade.

The dreaded day arrives. As you are instructed to do, three days prior you have fasted alongside Geto as a way to honor the cult. It’s in a way seen as a spiritual awakening.

Following the first ceremony, there shall be a bountiful banquet that only shall be shared between the two of you; no other spectators so you can enjoy your first night as an officially wedded pair.

You stand close behind Geto before all of his devotees who are on a platform just below you. Nanako and Mimiko are hidden in the crowd somewhere, but you know they must be eager to finally see their efforts in making their father not be lonely actually work out for them. You so dearly wish to crush their spirits like they have yours…

The chanting from Geto’s followers begins softly, their voices murmuring in unison:

“Death to the fool, punishment to the weak, love to the strong…”

The words merge into a crescendo, echoing through the grand hall of the temple.

Ah, the classic prayer Geto scripts himself for his goons to chant to him and he soaks up the attention like he really is some kind of God. It can’t be further from the truth, but you figure here, that doesn’t matter. Here, Geto calls the shots. Geto is the man of the hour at all times. Now he expects you to share his throne even if this is not what you want for yourself.

“Death to the fool, punishment to the weak, love to the strong…”

Man, I knew the guy was full of himself, but this is just on another level, you think as you’re seated next to him on a raised platform as his followers kneel and pray to both you and him. They chant like soldiers at war. Their words echoing through the room. As one of his followers in a Time Vessel Association cloak ignites the large fire in the center of the room, that’s when the ceremony finally begins.

“Followers of Time Association, lend me your undivided attention on behalf of our Enlightened One, our Lord, and our King, Geto Suguru,” the follower wielding the dancing torch announces in a deafening tone to the rest of the room. Your gaze flits around each corner and you find Manami and Miguel standing at the very end of the room, observing the events. “Tonight, we gather to celebrate the union between our Lord, our King of the New World and his chosen bride. A worthy woman who has sworn herself to him.”

Such fucking lies, you think to yourself as your gaze flits downward to your hand, which is still healing from the gashes from your accident. Geto notices something amiss with you and rests his large hand over your injury free one, catching your attention. Your brows furrow as he gazes down at you with a blank expression. If you don’t know any better, you would have thought he was expressing concern for your wellbeing.

But you know if he truly cares he would not have put you through this.

As Geto is presented a knife with the Time Association engraving just like the one on your necklace, you wince as you watch him sink the blade ever so slightly to pierce the skin and draw a bit of blood before doing the same to you. You clench your eyes shut as you feel the slight sting but you can tell Geto is trying to be kind, to be gentle with you. He presses two fingers into the open wound and gathers a bit of blood to circle into your wound.

“Now your blood has been purified by mine,” he murmurs with a hint of affection—none of that condescending nonsense or something he often laces with some kind of ulterior motive. Nothing. Just pure affection and you can’t believe that you’re witnessing something like that from a scumbag like him. You see his eyes dilate ever so slightly. The follower returns with small bandages to conceal the small cuts.

Geto yanks you forward, closer to him, and he removes a bit of his yakata to showcase what he’s tattooed onto his collarbone. Your eyes widen into the size of saucers.

Your name. It’s etched into his skin in a royal blue ink. Something he has done to himself. The brilliant color seems to pulsate with some kind of energy one can barely perceive if they’re not actively looking for something else.

“We won’t force this of you, allow this to serve as a reminder of my loyalty and my love to you, my dear,” he tells you, his tone still abundant of affection and you almost want to scoff at him but you hold your tongue. This is not the time nor the place. No need to cause a scene before his loyal devotees.

He gestures you to stare ahead to the endless arrays of followers who still kneel before the two of you, filling the grand hall to the very brim. Nameless faces who continue to chant that fucking mantra like they actually believe in his cause but you know the truth. Many either join him out of obligation or something rather, something that aligns more with their agendas. Suda and Miguel are the only ones standing and Suda has her gaze averted elsewhere, like she can’t live with this.

“May everyone bear witness the bond between the worthy,” Geto bellows to the crowd as they all raise their heads in unison and cheer for all present for the ritual to hear. “Kneel before her. Pray to her now. For as long as she is by my side, she is a Goddess.”

His hand reaches out to brush your cheek with his knuckles. His expression melds into a soft one, and those sharp violet eyes flicker with something else—something almost human, the most human you’ve ever seen from someone who declares himself a deity, a pseudo-religious figure to a world outside of yours you still cannot wholly fathom. He must pity your lack of understanding but he hopes to bring you into his world, into this new world order where only pure sorcerers reign across Japan. Is Japan the only country he hopes to conquer?

The existence of sorcerers outside of Japan are rare; the existence of sorcerers altogether is rare—you’re from outside the country as is Miguel—but you’re dumbfounded by his spiel even still. None of it adds up. There has to be something you’re missing that’s just beyond what he preaches to his followers.

You just aren’t sure what that is.

“It wasn’t fate but chance that I met such a perfect specimen of woman,” he breathes, pecking your forehead in a shocking tender way. Such a goddamn mockery of what love should be, yet he believes fully in his feelings for you. You know better than to think he has any reason or logic behind anything he does or says. “You are now betrothed to me, as my Queen.”

What might have been a dream come true for any other woman in the world is nothing more than a cruel insult or joke to you. A wave of disgust overwhelms you, rearranging your insides like stew, and you find yourself clutching at your stomach as you fight back the tears threatening to spill from your exhausted eyes. The concealer Suda has used for your bridal makeup does wonders on concealing the deep dark eyebags.

You have never hated your very existence more than in this moment. There’s still another ritual to fulfill the following morning. A reception of sorts. A large feast. Geto showing you off to his lowly monkey followers like you’re some shiny beautiful object to him.

Suddenly you hear the sound of a classic band from the back of the room. The banging against Taiko drums drones through the room, soon accompanied by other traditional instruments. Geto leads you to a an empty area of the room, leading you into a slow dance.

It’s difficult to maneuver in a kimono but you follow his lead, your eyes never leaving his as there’s a layer of tenderness in them that takes your breath away for real this time. Your breath catches in your throat as he twirls you around before pulling you back into him. You’re engulfed in the heat from his body; you shiver under the weight of his affectionate gaze that feels so much more like a mockery to what a union between two souls should be. If he really believes this is real then you remember there’s nothing you can do to change his mind.

But that doesn’t mean you can’t find a way to work with this.

The music keeps at a slowed, even tempo as he guides you across the floor. You ignore the endless stares from his devotees, some still chanting that fucking mantra as he focuses on you. His hands slide lower to rest on your waist, twisting you away from the observers’ direct view like he’s trying to protect you from their scrutiny.

“I love you,” Geto calls to you again and your head snaps up to meet his gaze, still shockingly tender. Those violet eyes still glimmer with that intensity but it’s softer, affectionate. Gentle. All the things he’s so, so far from in your book. He tilts your head upward with two slender fingers tucked beneath your chin and you hold your composure the best that you can—fearful of causing a scene in front of all of his ‘subjects.’ “I adore you. Let’s retire for the day. We should eat at that banquet they’ve prepared for us and rest up for tomorrow.”

You glance away, a tear escaping your left eye. “O-okay…”

He wipes away the stray tear, tutting at your reluctance.

“A life with me is better than a life in that circus out there,” he hisses under his breath, words only you’re meant to hear. “Trust me. You’ll come to find this is a blessing in disguise, one day.”

That day may never come. However, you do pick up on something floating above him. A much clearer image of a curse, a small one resembling a rodent hovering just above Geto’s head.

This is the first time you’re ever able to see one even if your vision is still a bit faint, and suddenly you have to fight back the twitching of your lips as realization dawns upon you.

This is the seed that’s planted—your ticket out of there. Now all that’s left is to set everything in motion.

[creative1writings]

Chapter 3: New Faces, Hidden Histories

Summary: You finally adjusted to your new home life, now you need to conquer school life, being the new student and meeting the people familiar to your father.

A/n: I hope you enjoy this chapter!!

Warnings: None (I don't think)

Chapter l, Chapter ll

Megumi had talked about you to Yuji and Nobara, having explained what happened and who you were, the pair became very familiar with you even though they haven't met you officially. Gojo and Megumi both were trying to make it an easy transition between schools, having been going to a relatively normal high school, you'll now be entering one that instead of teaching about the revolutionary war you'll be taught about the war between curses and humans. Not knowing too much of your cursed technique and what you'll be capable of, made this whole thing harder.

Your dad had wanted you far away from the world that was cursed, he wanted only good things for you, he didn't want you to have to worry about losing friends or if you'll live another day, he wanted your only worry to be what you were going to wear the next day, so he shielded you from it, kept you hidden like a precious gem, he made it to where if anyone/anything of ill intent came even close to your proximity, he'd have rainbow dragon dispose of them quickly, his new objective was to make it to where earth was a place for you to live happily, safely. He'd do it all for you, that's why before he died he had to make sure that Gojo would get to you first, make sure he promised to look after you, make sure you were safe and loved, and Geto knew that white haired bastard would be the one to provide that.

When you finally enrolled at jujutsu high, Shoko and Nanami couldn't help but hound Gojo for answers, not knowing their lost friend had an offspring, they had become curious. Both expecting an exact copy of Geto and that's exactly what they saw, standing across the classroom for introduction to the new year, they saw you walk in with Megumi, a shy smile playing along your lips when you noticed everyone's eyes on you. Yuji and Nobara both rushed Megumi, ecstatic to finally meet you, they were practically buzzing, the adults all let out soft chuckles at the reaction.

Nanami and Shoko couldn't help but stare, you were exactly like him, in every little detail that was presented when you did something. The way your eyes flutter shut gently when you smiled wider, the way your lips seemed to stay upturned slightly, your hair was the same shade as his and your eyes, the eyes were most like his, shining with the emotion you truly felt, they spoke volumes.

Nanami finally gained enough composure to look down at his classrooms attendance sheet, noticing a name he only just learned, Y/n , she was placed in his class, but why? Nanami made a quick approach to Gojo, catching him off guard slightly, he turns his full attention to him.

'What is this?'

Nanami asked clearly, showing him the attendance sheet, Gojo glanced down to see what he was on about.

'Shes in your class..so what?'

Gojo said in his usual calm tone, causing Nanami to blink at him.

'I see this, but may I ask why?'

Nanami sternly said, already fed up with Gojo's nonchalant attitude.

'Oh.. because since she's new to all things cursed, we thought we'd start her off in an easy class.' Gojo beamed.

'My class is not easy.' Nanami stated.

'For non sorcerers maybe.' before Nanami can retaliate Gojo walks off leaving him with the words stuck in his throat.

Gojo makes a direct line to where you were. Smiling down at you gently he asks if you're ready to meet your teacher to which you only respond with a nod and small smile. He guides you to a tall man with blonde hair, the man holding a look of stern and serious causes you to shrink in on yourself slightly before smiling nervously and introducing yourself, this seems to make the man lighten up a little, and in turn you learned his name was Kento Nanami.

A bell rang signaling everyone to go in the direction of their designated classrooms. Nanami instructs with his hand to follow his lead. You fall in step behind him as he leads the way, the classroom had only a few students and one teacher aid. You get greeted instantly by the teacher aid learning his name was Takuma Ino.

You later come to realize that this class was an introduction class, and you had one more class after this, one that tests not on papers but on your physical capabilities. Gojo sits you out this period, only wanting you to observe for now. He mentally noted to train with you privately at home to prepare you for the rest of the students, who were currently ranked higher than you when it came to strength and agility.

[jackienautism]

im just bitter but the next time i see someone refeer to kaitlyn as "the normal one" is the day i finally kill