#SHE'S GONNA MAKE DECISIONS THAT AREN'T GREAT AND SHE'LL FEEL BAD ABOUT THEM

[cookiedough77]

the more people say "marinette is becoming gabriel!!!"

all i can think of is the scene from the owl house season 3 episode 3 where luz thinks she's just as bad as belos and the titan is like "the fuck??? no??? belos is genuinely awful and hurt alot of people, you are literally a teenage girl"

anyway the same thing is happening here sort of-

JUST AUGHHH

[yamujiburo]

Here's an arc I thought about doing but won't do because, it'd be a bit too sad and also it's too similar to the Turing Point Arc I already did and also it would be long. But I'll write it here for you angst enjoyers. This ended up being longer than I thought.

Despite getting the "okay" from Ash to date Jessie, Delia still worries that she's not doing the right thing or being a bad mom. Up until now she'd convinced herself that she had the right to be selfish for once after knowing only sacrifice and putting herself last.

Jessie and Ash, while not as antagonistic towards each other, still go at it. A Pikachu zap here, an angry "twerp" being uttered there. The guilt settles in for Delia and figures that it's best to just cut things off before things potentially get worse or before she gets too attached to Jessie. Her son comes first after all. That's what she signed up for when becoming a parent.

She sits Jessie down, eyes watery (it's the first time Jessie's ever seen Delia come close to crying). Delia says she thinks they should end things. Jessie is stunned but accepts it quickly. She sucks it up in the moment, puts a resigned smile on her face and tells Delia she'll leave immediately and not to worry about her. Delia's also broken up about it but promised herself she'd never cry over a goodbye and she wasn't gonna start now.

Jessie goes to James and Meowth's place greeted similarly to this, lightly teasing her about blowing it with Delia, and she breaks down sobbing. Oops it's real this time. James and Meowth do everything in their power to make her feel better. They let her know that things like this happen and they're ready to go wherever she wants to go (knowing that it'd likely be to painful for her to stay in Pallet). As much as she wants to leave, she doesn't want James and Meowth to lose the good thing they have going. She's not in the right headspace to make any decisions so she'll get to it later.

Ash returns home after doing a little training at Oak's lab. He notices Jessie's not around and asks his mom where she is. Delia is about to tell him but can't quite bring herself to say the truth out loud yet. She simply says "I don't know". Ash looks disappointed. "Aw man, I wanted to see if she wanted to battle. She makes a good battle buddy for all of my newer, baby Pokémon." Delia perks up that this. As quickly as he came, he leaves again to go train his Pokémon.

Later, Delia approaches Ash, asking him if he really meant that what he said about Jessie being a good battle partner. He gives her an enthusiastic "yeah!" and tells her that it's been nice having another battle ready trainer around since there's not many in Pallet. Delia starts to pry a little more. "I thought you and Jessie didn't get along?" Ash is confused, and tells Delia they get along great! "Jessie doesn't steal anymore! And she's getting better at battling which is cool." Delia brings up that she's head them argue before. "Oh... well I guess that's just how we are. I'd be weirded out if she was suddenly too nice to me all the time. Jessie's actually a lot like Misty. But taller!" This gives Delia a lot to think about but what's done is done and it's no use pressing on. It's easier this way.

The next morning Delia's getting ready for work. She must not have noticed that she was acting weird but Ash picks up on it. "What's wrong mom?" Delia's shocked he noticed (he's not usually this perceptive). She tells him it's nothing and that she just slept bad. "Hm. But Jessie says that when you're upset you get really quiet and intense." Delia notices that she was pretty intensely mixing the pancake batter. "Jessie told you that?" Ash nods. "Hey speaking of, where is Jessie? Haven't seen her since yesterday." Delia stops mixing and tells Ash that she and Jessie aren't together anymore. Ash is confused and upset at the idea of Jessie doing something that would hurt his mom enough for them to break up. Delia lets him know that Jessie didn't do anything like that and that them breaking up was just for the best. But Ash questions this, pointing out that he's never seen Delia as happy as she was when Jessie was there and also how Delia looks really sad now. Delia can't argue with that but then tells him that it's complicated. Ash, to Delia's surprise, looks a bit disappointed. He's bummed he wasn't able to say goodbye first and asks if she thinks Jessie would still be willing to come by and train with him sometimes. Delia asks him once more if he was really okay with her and Jessie dating. "Yeah I thought I said that already? Jessie's pretty cool when she's not being evil. And she really likes Pokémon which is a plus!" Such simple criteria. Delia's now worried that she might've made a mistake. She finishes making breakfast and heads to work.

At the restaurant she's met by James. She can feel an awkwardness hanging in the air. She knows that James knows. Before she can say anything James tells Delia thank you for employing him and helping him, Meowth and Jessie get back on their feet but that he's going to quit working at the restaurant and that they'll likely be leaving Pallet soon. Delia's heart sinks. There's now a ticking clock and she has to decide what she wants to do SOON. She asks James where Jessie is. James hesitantly tells her that she's at his and Meowth's place. Delia pleads with James to work the restaurant for one more day at least and to cover this shift. She has to go talk to Jessie. He agrees, hoping that this is a good thing.

Delia runs to James and Meowth's place. She knocks on the door upon arrival and waits. It takes a moment but she hears the door unlock. Jessie opens the door, disheveled, tears and snot all over her face, draped in a blanket. Jessie notices it's Delia and, frightened, slams the door. Delia's stunned for a moment and goes to knock on the door again but before she can the door opens. This time Jessie's tears are gone, her hair's fixed and she ditched the blanket. "Oh hey, Delia! What brings you here?" Delia can't help but be charmed. But this is serious. She shakes it off and asks if they could talk. Jessie invites her in. They get to the couch and Jessie starts frantically cleaning up all the crumpled tissues and dirty dishes off the ground. "Heh I caught a cold yesterday. A one day cold. I'm fine now." Delia doesn't call out the obvious lie and gets straight to the point.

She tells Jessie that she's worried she made a mistake. She made a panicked decision that she was hoping would protect Ash and her future self. But now realizes that she was afraid of the idea that she'd made a selfish decision by dating her. It was a selfish decision but that didn't mean it was a bad one. She was the happiest she'd been, Jessie and Ash were learning to get along and were getting along much better than she'd though. She acknowledges that Jessie has been there for Ash in a way that she can't quite be and is also grateful to her for managing to keep Ash home a little longer. She asks if Jessie would be willing to take her back (despite the distress she caused). Jessie starts sobbing with happy tears. She tearfully says she'll try even harder to get along with Ash and be a better person. Delia reassures her that she's doing just fine.

They kiss passionately but then realize it's weird that they're making out in James in Meowth's place and say they'll continue later. Delia tells Jessie to head back home and that Ash is looking forward to battling with her (and she also needs to let James and Meowth not to quit their jobs).

The end~

[lastoneout]

Thank you to everyone leaving kind words and advice in the comments, I really appreciate it <3 I cried a lot and ranted with my fiance for a while about how BS this was and between that and the assurance from everyone that this is indeed the most bull-est of shit ever I feel a lot better now. I looked up the info of the place I bought my rollator at back in 2018 and they have lightweight and ultra-light wheelchairs for sale and people who can help fit you for one correctly. I'm going to go down there this weekend and see what they can do for me and how much it's gonna cost, and then start trying to get the money together to just buy one myself. It's going to be hellishly expensive but I can't keep living like this, if I have to set up a gofundme or go into debt so fucking be it, I want my life back. I want to go to school so I can maybe get a job and eventually buy a house and have a fucking kid and get married instead of just spending every single day in pain with no help because apparently disabled people aren't supposed to do anything other than lay around and suffer.

They also offer rentals so I might be able to even try one out which would be great since I wasn't kidding about that whole "there are holes in my clothes" thing I REALLY need new shorts, but yeah that's the game plan. I'm also going to dig up my old physical therapy exercises and start doing them again, and maybe try to get my hands on a second hand exercise bike so I can make sure I don't let my legs atrophy or whatever. (It's SO wild too because like, at physical therapy they always focus on building my CORE muscles, I don't do that many leg exclusive things, most of it is building core muscles and you know what fucking builds your core??? Wheeling yourself around in a fucking wheelchair. I'm not getting an electric scooter, I'm getting a manual wheelchair and using it will help with what PT already wants me to do, BUILD UP MY CORE MUSCLES, like???? Jesus fucking Christ.)

And like tbh I'm not even that upset that she said no, I expected her to say no, I'm mad that she AGREED with me TO MY FUCKING FACE and then left the room only to have some other guy come in a reveal actually she didn't agree with me at all and I'm not getting any of the things I asked for. It wouldn't have stung as bad if she hadn't gotten my hopes up. For a small moment I felt so fucking happy and relieved and then it all got dashed against the rocks. She even told me I have a good head on my shoulders about all this and have a great plan to increase my mobility while still keeping my body strong and how she's impressed I was able to do all that despite the pain I was in!! And like I was proud of myself!! I believed her!! But now I don't even know how much of that was true. It was SUCH a massive slap in the face. I cannot believe that's how they fucking treat patients. Honestly, it's borderline inhumane imo. How the fuck do they live with themselves treating people like that??

And that's my real issue, it's the fact that I'm not being treated like a person with bodily autonomy who can give informed consent. Despite the fact that they only see me like once a year so they actually have no idea what I'm like outside their office they automatically don't trust me to keep up with my physical therapy and at home exercises to keep my legs strong. They automatically don't trust me to only use my wheelchair on the days I really need it, despite the fact that I already only use my rollator on the days I need it. I'm not being treated like an adult who can make informed decisions about what is right for my body, who can reasonably be expected to do what's needed to have a wheelchair and not give up on walking forever, or at least be allowed to recognize the risks of having a wheelchair and decide it's worth it anyway. I'm being treated like a stupid child who is so lazy she'll surely give up walking forever the minute she touches a wheelchair. I'm being treated like a child who can't even be trusted to be mature when a doctor tells me no, she couldn't even respect me enough to be honest with me, she had to go get help to tell me no after LYING to my fucking FACE about her thoughts on the matter.

It's structural ableism. I'm not a person to them. I'm a stupid crippled idiot who is too lazy to do the work needed to stay healthy so I have to keep suffering and not spending time with my friends and family or cooking or going to the store or doing anything because I should spend all of my time either suffering or recovering from suffering. They didn't even have the decency to treat me like a fucking human being when they tell me they won't help me.

But that's fine, I guess. I'm gonna take shit into my own hands, just like I always have. I only hope the next person gets treated better than I did.

the doctor said no to a wheelchair in the cruelest way possible

[sincerelyasomebody]

Give An Inch || Oscar "Spooky" Diaz

(GIF Credit: @merakiaes)

A/N: Not proofread, apologises. Feel free to point out any mistakes with the Spanish translations. Thanks!

Pairing(s): Spooky x Reader ▪︎ The Core 5 x Reader (platonic relationship) 

Summary: A helping hand is mistaken for something else. 

Warnings: fluff, language, mention of smut (very light), mentions of a baby, sexist comments, 

Word Count: 1815

- ♤ - ♡ - ◇ - ♧ -

"Come on, (Y/N)." Jamal begged, trying to snatch the bag filled with candy, "just one more and I promise I'll stop asking." 

"No, Jamal," she reprimanded the teenager, "you've eaten enough candy as it is."

He huffed, the rest of the group laughing at his misfortune. Oscar shook his head, wrapping his arm around her shoulders, clicking his tongue, "eh, just give him one." 

She looked at him, "and have him throw up on himself? I don't think so." She glanced over at the group and back at him, "besides, he keeps grabbing the (flavour) ones and there's hardly any left." 

With a laugh, he kissed her forehead, "so it's not about his well being? It's 'cause he keeps taking the ones you like?" 

"Shut up," was her response. 

That made him laugh harder, causing the group of teenagers to look back at the couple. Cesar smiled at how carefree his brother looked whereas his friends were still surprised, despite knowing of the couple's marital status. 

They and their families, the Santos and (Y/N)'s family were present at the courthouse, a simple but elegant affair. Despite her mother's protest about a big wedding, (Y/N) was more focused on spending the rest of her life with Oscar and Cesar (they were a packaged deal). She didn't care where they got married. 

It had been months since that court appearance and (Y/N) and Oscar had fallen in love with each other more everyday. Yes, they had their disagreements, but before the sun set apologises were said and a round of cuddles were given. He may have been a tough Santos leader, but Oscar was big on affection. 

A relaxed date night for the pair turned into an eventful group outing. (Y/N) didn't mind, having grown accustomed to having the teenagers around (even Jasmine with her big personality, something she really admired). Oscar was annoyed, but adjusted to having her attention shared. 

The teenagers began to disagree on whether to try their luck with the games or grab a bite to eat. The girls wanted to play some games and the boys wanted to get some more food. (Y/N) decided to make the decision for them, looking at Oscar, "you go with the boys and I'll go with the girls," she laughed, taking note of his unimpressed look, "they're not that bad." 

Right on cue, Jamal and Ruby began arguing about the most problematic person in the 90 Day Fiancé: Before the 90 Days cast. Cesar stood by, saying nothing and somehow got dragged into the debate. (Y/N) shook her head and pecked Oscar's cheek, "good luck." 

And with that, she walked off with the girls in tow. 

The three walked around for quite a bit before deciding on playing Whac-a-Mole; no lines, reasonably priced and the prizes were really good. (Y/N) handed the attendant the money and watched the game light up. 

"How do you plan on winning?" Monse asked, knowing that a bunch of the games were rigged. 

"By imagining something that pisses me off," she replied. Both girls quirked an eyebrow and watched as she hit almost every single mole that popped out of its hole. When the game ended, she glanced over at them, "see?" 

They laughed at her chosen stuffed animal being a wolf, knowing her obsession with dogs, when the attendant asked about her prize. Taking a step back, she allowed the girls to decide if they wanted to play a game. 

Unbeknownst to her, a figure had been watching from afar and decided right at that moment to start up a conversation. 

(Y/N) felt a presence move closer, she smiled thinking they were passing by, but instead stopped right in front of her. Her eyebrows furrowed, as she took in the person; solid build, tall and tanned skin. 

"The name's Damian," he introduced himself.

She nodded, "hello, Damian, I'm (Y/N). Did you need something?" 

Before he could reply a mallet hit the side of his head. She covered her mouth to stifle her laughter, eyes looking at the direction of where it flew to find Monse nodding towards Jasmine, the girl giving a sheepish grin. (Y/N) turned back around to find Damian rubbing his head.

"Well… uh, that was… something," he muttered, picking up the object and holding it out. 

"Sorry," Jasmine apologised, taking it and giving it back to the attendant.

(Y/N) noticed his cheek darkening, "you might need some ice for that," she held up her finger, "follow my finger, please." A couple seconds later, she concluded, "you don't seem to have a concussion, but you should check out the medical tent." 

He smiled, "you in the medical field?" 

"A nurse at the local hospital." 

"Beauty and brains," he complimented

She shook her head, "come on I'll take you," she glanced over her shoulder, "tell the guys where I'm going, okay? I shouldn't be long." 

Monse and Jasmine nodded at her instructions, sharing a look when she walked around the corner, hopefully Spooky wasn't nearby. 

But of course, luck wasn't on their side. 

"You girls win anything?" 

They turned around and found Cesar walking ahead of the group, a grin plastered across his face holding up a teddy bear and handing it over to Monse. Jamal and Ruby holding a slushie and a churro in their hands. Spooky took notice of the missing figure, his eyes staring at the pair, "where's (Y/N)?" 

Jasmine piped up, "at the medical tent," when she noticed their concerned faces she quickly added, "don't worry, she's not hurt. She took a guy there 'cause I hit him in the head with a mallet." 

"You hit him with a mallet?" questioned Ruby, taking a sip of his slushie. 

"Sí, pero no propósito," she gestured to the truck, "I was using it for the game, they really need to tape that shit down."  

Jamal's eyebrows scrunched together, "aren't those things attached?" 

"Yeah, they are," Monse replied, "well.. one used to be." 

As the group got on the subject of other carnival games, they didn't notice Spooky slipping away to find (Y/N). Always being down to help whoever with whatever, it didn't come as a surprise to him hearing she had walked the guy over to the medical tent. It was a trait he loved about her, but of course it had setbacks. 

With a heart as big as hers, there were some people who liked to take advantage of her goodwill. 

If the guy fell into that category, then he was in for a rude awakening.

He walked around the corner, avoiding a bunch of kids running with their parents trying to keep up with them. Passing by several tents he found the one he was looking for. It wasn't that hard as an ambulance, cots and paramedics stuck out among the food trucks and carnival games. 

His eyes focused on her, her hands clutching a stuffed animal, a smile crossed his face taking note of it being a wolf. She let out a laugh and continued talking to the person next to her. He moved towards them, his pace picking up when he noticed her twiddling her thumbs, a subtle sign that showed she was beginning to feel uncomfortable. 

"Cariño." He called out. 

Her head turned in his direction, a big smile on her face as she rose to her feet. When he was close enough, she wrapped her arms around his waist, resting her head on his chest. When she released her hold, she pecked his lips. 

Quickly bending down to pick up the wolf plushie.  

After shaking it, she held it up to his face, "say hello to the new love of my life." 

He kissed his teeth, "new love? The only new love of your life is gonna be the baby I put in you, esta noche." 

She gasped and hit his chest, laughing when he pulled her in and kissed the top of her head. 

"Uh… you're taken?" 

The couple turned to the figure holding the ice pack to his cheek. (Y/N) nodded, "yep, happily taken." Holding up her left hand to reveal just how taken she was.

Damian shook his head, "you're married and walking around as if you're single? Wow, aren't you a great catch." 

Her eyebrows furrowed, at the switch in his tone, "excuse you?" 

"You led me on."

"Led you on?" She scoffed, "how?" 

He gestured to the tent, "you brought me here." 

"Yeah, I brought you here to make sure you were okay," she replied, "and before you say anything about me staying with you, I thought I'd keep you company before your friends arrived." 

"You have to train her better," Damian shifted his focus to Oscar, "can't have your wife leading men on like some bitch in heat." 

Before (Y/N) could blink, Oscar gripped the front of Damian's shirt and pulled him close their nose centimetres apart, "don't fucking talk to her like that, understand me?" Damian just blinked, causing Oscar to give him a shake, "I asked you a question." 

He nodded, "yeah, I won't. Ever again." 

Oscar loosened his grip, nodding towards the bruising on the side of his head, "next time it'll be a bullet," at the scared look he received, he smirked, "now, apologise to my wife, pendejo." 

"I'm sorry." 

"She has a name." 

"I'm sorry, (Y/N)." 

"What are you sorry for?" 

"I'm sorry, (Y/N) for calling you a bitch and assuming that you were interested." Damian apologised. 

She nodded, "thank you." 

"When a woman is interested, she'll make it clear that she's interested." Oscar explained, "if she isn't interested, back off." 

"Right, got it." 

"But with your obscured view on women, I doubt they'd be interested," (Y/N) snickered, "all that muscle on you and you're nothing but a punk ass bitch." 

Oscar held her hand in his, giving the back of it a kiss, "come on," when they were about a metre away, (Y/N) called out, "enjoy the rest of your night, Damian. You sexist pig." 

This received a few stares from those surrounding the other tents but the couple kept walking as if nothing had happened. (Y/N) allowed Oscar to lead them back to wherever the group of teenagers were. When she spotted them, she stopped her movement, causing Oscar to halt in his.

"What's wrong?" 

She smirked and moved in close, fingers fiddling with the button of his shirt, "do you wanna get started?'

His eyebrow arched, "get started on what?" 

"On putting that baby in me…. Unless, you've changed your mind and -" 

She laughed when he gripped her hand and dragged her in the direction of the car, throwing a comment about texting Cesar that she wasn't feeling well and to stay the night at Monse's when she asked about the group noticing their disappearance. 

- ♤ - ♡ - ◇ - ♧ - 

Spanish Translation(s): 

Sí, pero no propósito - yeah, but not on purpose

Cariño - dear or darling 

Esta noche - tonight 

Pendejo - asshole or bastard

[ma-gic-gay]

Death had always been a finite concept. For both of them, presumably, but especially for Carly. Death was something she had to deal with far too regularly for her tastes (comes with the territory when you have a habit of marrying mobsters), despite her hatred of it.

Shootings, she could handle. And did, shockingly well. Despite the fact she couldn't handle being in a stable situation for more than a day, she was great in a crisis.

Of course, the fact she had Jason there was helpful. She felt unsafe, she called him and it was like she had her own personal body guard. It was, in a very strange way, nice to know he wouldn't hesitate to kill for her and has done it repeatedly in the past.

The deaths of the people who tried to kill her (or him, especially him- she prayed those bastards got the worst treatment they could) were the only ones she could handle.

It's a bit ironic she got killed from a shooting, three hours and twenty three minutes after Jason died, in a weird way. She always said she'd kill for him (realistically she knew he'd lose his shit if she ever did that because he's overprotective and hasn't taught her how to use a gun), and that's exactly what she did. He got shot right in front of her, she grabbed his gun while he was yelling at her not to and shot the person.

Slight problem though, she too got shot. Whoopsie daisies.

Getting shot fucking hurt. She was in and out of consciousness when she was at the hospital and no one would tell her about Jason's condition. They were married, for fuck's sakes, why the fuck wasn't anyone telling her how her husband was doing?!

Eventually, someone (probably Monica, she can't remember) told her he was dead. They got to him too late, they said, he'd been doa and their best efforts hadn't revived him.

After hearing that, she couldn't live with herself. He got shot because Vince was trying to shoot her and off he went to be her hero and make everything okay and he got killed. One phone call and he was at the Metro Court, hanging out with her and keeping watch when he noticed Vince in the parking lot and went out there to confront him. Vince pointed a gun at Carly and, of course, since Jason's a self sacrificing person, he died.

Which meant she was directly responsible for his death and that rocked her to her very core. She'd failed him. After twenty five years, she failed him. Even he'd have to admit this one. There was no spin on this (and she'd heard some strange ones over the years) for how she'd be able to live with herself after she failed him. It wasn't like she'd done something stupid, no, she got him killed. Carly knew he'd do something, especially since Vince was a dick, and she told him. Did he deserve to know? Yes. But only after she'd reassured his overprotective streak she'd be fine and he didn't have to kill anyone else for her.

According to something she'd heard from the doctors, in whatever fucking limbo this was, Carly had died of a heart attack. Likely brought on by stress. Bullets were fine but hearing of Jason's death killed her.

Yup, makes sense. Well, she'll be able to apologize for all of eternity once she gets to wherever she's going. Even after he forgives her (which, she's being honest, will happen as soon as they see each other), she's going to apologize and apologize.

Ooh, she gets to see Sonny and Morgan too! Her son and husband and best friend for all of eternity. What could be better?

There's something that vaguely looks like an angel and she notices it drags her up. Huh, guess she's going to heaven. Makes sense, Carly's a fairly good person. She's not a terrible one.

Except when she gets there she only finds Morgan and Courtney (Courtney, oh how she missed her), no Jason anywhere. Where the hell was he? Avoiding a party, probably. She has got to get him to go out more, especially now that nothing can probably happen. What are the rules of death?

"Where's Jason?" Carly asks after greeting the pair. They stare blankly until she asks again, "Where is he? He's here, right? I was told he's dead!"

Courtney's the first one to be stunned out of her shock. "Carly, he, um, didn't make the cut."

"For what? Give me that list, I'm adding his name at the very top. Where the fuck is he?" She exclaims. He's here, he's got to be here.

"You're aware of his job, right?" Is she aware of his job, of course she is!

"Yes, Courtney, it's why we got married. Where the hell is he? Or Sonny, or Mike!"

"Mike's taking a nap and Sonny's not dead." What?! "Or, if he is, he didn't make the cut either." Didn't make the cut for what? Carly will scheme, steal, seduce, lie and cheat go get those two up here with her, where the fuck are they?

"Because of Jason's job and the amount of people he killed, he didn't make the cut to heaven. He's in hell." Is it possible to die twice? She might just do that. He's in hell, which is a place for bad people! Her hero is in hell.

She's gonna kill someone. "I'm not perfect! None of us are perfect, I killed someone! Why the hell aren't we down there? He died defending me!"

"Shocking," Morgan says dryly. "Jason killed people for a living. He was a mobster."

"And I'm an accessory to all of that! I lead the mob for a week or two!" Carly exclaims. "He's a good person, we know that."

"We're not in charge of the decisions, Carly," Courtney attempts to comfort her best friend. It's a nice attempt. "That's for people with a lot more clout than us. If it was up to either of us, I promise he'd be here but you'll never see him again."

Never see him again? Oh hell no. "Is there any way to get sent down to hell with him?" This is impulsive and reckless and Jason wouldn't encourage it but she's got less care. She needs to see her best friend again, goddammit."Some paperwork I can file, some people's husband's I can seduce?"

"Someone can submit you for reevaluation."

"Great! Is Emily here?" Emily hates her, she'll surely want to help!

"Somewhere, yeah. Why?"

"Emily hates me. Can't blame her. Anyways, look, I want to help her write my reevaluation. I've ruined a lot of lives."

"Which Jason has always helped you feel better about."

"That's because he's my best friend, Morgan."

The next few weeks are spent making sure every single one of her transgressions is on the list and resubmitting her,,, whatever the hell it's called, Emily never gave details.

So it's really not a surprise when she's dragged down to hell by some gross creature, waving goodbye to her son and Courtney and sister in law (that's a weird thing to think about).

And when she gets there, it's just like a darker version of heaven. It's the same fucking place (away from the fire), just more her color palette. Weird.

"Excuse me, where's Jason Morgan?" She asks the creature who dragged her down here. "I was informed he'd be down here."

A shrug is all she gets in response. Well then, she's able to roll with the punches and searches up and down for him, eventually finding him in a room without decorations or anything but basic necessities.

She's got some decorating on her hands.

Carly walks right through the half opened door (he really didn't lock it? Weirdo) and gets the response of, "Get out."

"Don't expect me to start knocking just because we're dead," she quips, a smile on her face. Knocking is overrated. He looks normal and as he registers what's going on, he gets all squinty.

Once he actually realizes it's her, she's already half attacked him in a hug that he reciprocates. "What the fuck are you doing here?"

"Little bit of bargaining, Emily's assistance and voila! You'd be amazed at how many bad things I've done. Everyone sends their love, of course. Are there any stores down here? This room is so boring," she changes the subject.

"No, I mean why are you dead? You're supposed to be alive."

"I died three hours and twenty three minutes after you. Heart attack. Monica told me about you dying. No one else would." That was a very bad time when he was dead and she wasn't.

"Does this mean-"

"No, you are not responsible for my death. If anything, I'm responsible for yours. I'm sorry, more than you'll ever know," Carly tells him, eyes welling up with tears.

"You're not responsible. I got shot. It happens." Way too nonchalant for death.

"Because you were defending me, like always. Seriously, take a nice vacation off of that and start using your survival instincts. I don't have Emily to help me this time if I need to transfer afterlives."

"I was defending the business."

"Bullshit. I told you Vince threatened me and you already planned to kill him. You saw your opportunity and instead of shooting him, you got shot and died. This is my fault, 100%, and I will not let you make me feel better about this. You could've patched things up with Britt, hung out with a bunch of people but no, you had to die protecting me. Take a week off of being my hero, please."

"I'm not going to do that. The last time I thought about it, you took over the business."

"Well I can't just ask you to forgive me, so take a day off."

"You'll get kidnapped. And I don't hold you responsible because it was my choice to defend you and my choice to want to kill Vince."

"You're overprotective and it's nice but not when it kills you."

"You spent twenty five years running off every woman in my life because you were convinced they'd hurt me, you hated a ton of people because they did something to me and you almost committed several felonies. And I'm overprotective," he rolls his eyes.

"Not the point, first off and second, you've killed and kidnapped for me. In a very fucked up way, it's sweet. And you totally ran off the men in my life!"

"How did I do that?"

"By being the only person I can depend on. I don't know, look, they've all- except for Sonny, most of the time- hated you because you intimidated them. So you did the same thing, just not on purpose."

"Then it's not the same thing."

"How did we get so off topic? I'm sorry for being the reason you're dead. Do you forgive me?" Strange sentences.

"You're not why I'm dead, I made that choice-"

"You chose to die?"

"I meant the choice to jump in front of you."

"Which was instinctual, you've always protected me."

"Might have to do that even more down here. There's some real creeps."

"I really don't think they'll care that much. But okay."

"Vince is here."

"No revenge."

"He killed you and I'm just supposed to sit here and ignore that he did that?!"

"Maybe we can talk this all out."

"Carly, what part of this aren't you understanding? He killed you. I hurt him, that's how this works, so he knows better than to mess with you."

"Or we could go shop for decor. I'll pick out nice stuff, come on let's go!"

"I'm not going shopping. I'm planning revenge."

"It'll be safer if you're there with me."

"I hate it when you're right."

"Love you too."

"Love you."

The end fuckers :)

oh it's beautiful. thank you for this

[shawnpetermuffins]

She's gone. (Part 2 of Were You Going to Tell Me?)

A/n: here is part 2, it went in a slightly different direction than I originally intended, but I think I like it.

Summary: Shawn isn't coping well with y/n being gone. (Told in both POVs)

Word count: still a lot

Warning: angst with a fluff ending oops

***

She left and I'm well beyond sad. I feel empty. If there's a way to feel something worse than that, then that's what I feel. It's like my heart has been ripped from my chest and it's infinitely harder to breathe through that aching pain.

I stayed in bed, crying like a baby, clutching her pillow like it was her. Morning came and my throat was raw from screaming into the sheets while hiccupped sobs wracked my body. I didn't bother to answer my phone that hasn't stopped ringing since seven. I couldn't even get out of bed to brush my teeth. Amy little thing that I did felt impossible. How could I go on living without her? She made everything in my life worth living. It was fun and organized with her in it, and I took her for granted. I made her move across the continent just to be with me and I couldn't even spare her a passing glance, a quick kiss before leaving for the studio.

I'm the worst boyfriend ever. How she put up with me for seven years is beyond me. I would have dropped my ass the first time I forgot our anniversary. And her birthday! God I forgot her birthday! But she didn't break up with me and I did it again. I'm the worst. The absolute worst.

“Shawn, are you in here?”

I now regret giving Andrew a spare key to my place. I stifled my sobs into her pillow, it smelled like her, this was torture. He barged into our room - fuck, I didn't even know if it was still our room.

“Shawn, what the hell? You were supposed to be in the studio two hours - wait, what's going on? Why aren't you dressed?"

“She's gone, Andrew. I lost her.” I choked on the words and buried my head further into her side of the bed.

“What are you talking about?”

“Y/n left.” The cried that escaped my throat were embarrassing and loud.

“Like she left? Why on earth would she leave?”

“Because I suck. I'm a horrible boyfriend. I was more focused on the album than I was spending time with her.” I sniffled, “I royally fucked up; I don't even know what to do. I can't go on without her.”

Andrew sighed, “Shawn, I know it feels like the end of the world right now, but-”

“I'm not going in, Andrew! I might have just lost my girlfriend of seven years, the love of my life, the reason for my existence! Fuck the studio! I don't have my girl here, so I can't make music!”

“You're being unreasonable.” He started typing on his phone. “Get up. Get dressed. You have to be there. People are waiting.”

“Well then tell them to stop waiting because I'm not going.”

“How long are you gonna do this?” He punched the bridge of his nose.

“Until she's back in my arms.”

☆

Ten minutes later, after Andrew had finally left and stopped yelling at me, my door opened again. I really need to stop giving my friends a key. “Shawny boy, are you here?”

I didn't answer. They'd find me eventually.

“What are doing here?” Brian came into the room and sat on the edge of the bed.

“She left.”

“Not for good. She couldn't.”

“She told me she wasn't happy anymore. That I wasn't making her happy.”

“You've been busy,” he sympathized, “she'll cool down.”

“She's in y/h/t, Brian. It's not like she's just roaming around the city and she'll come back when she gets bored.”

“Shawn, y/n loves you. The entire world knows that. Just like they know you love her. She'll come back.”

“And what if she doesn't?”

He didn't answer because he knew there was a chance she wouldn't.

“I've fucked everything up. I don't know what to do.”

“What's your heart telling you to do?”

I sighed and sat up, pulling my knees to my chest. “My heart is telling me that I should have proposed to her a long time ago.”

“What?”

I got out of bed and walked on foreign legs to our closet. I had hidden a velvet box in a pair of my shoes on the top shelf. Where I knew she couldn't reach. I tossed it at him and he fumbled to catch it. “I bought it for her right after she moved in. But I was scared that she'd think it was too much at one time if I asked her then. But then everything else started piling up and I couldn't find an opening, and then I guess I just forgot.”

“Does she know you were planning on proposing? Because if she did, I don't think she would have run away.”

“Well we've talked about it. But I guess within the past year, we haven't done much talking. It seems like we're always in a screaming match.”

“You need to do this,” he stood from the bed, closing the box in his hand before tossing it back to me. “Get on a plane and go find her.”

“She doesn't want to see me.”

“Shawn, I'm scared that if you don't go to her now she really isn't coming back. Because you're right, you've fucked up. A lot. I don't know how many times I've comforted her after you guys fight.”

“Wait, what?”

Brian sighed, “She's come to me a few times.”

“Why didn't I know that?”

“Because you haven't been paying attention. But you're paying attention now, so go. Get your girl back before it's too late.”

“I will, but we need to talk about the fact that you knew how she was feeling and you didn't tell me.”

“They weren't my feelings to share! She trusts me, and I can't break that trust. She's a hard person to get in good with and I don't want go be on her bad side. Because from what you look like right now, it's not looking too hot.”

I scoffed and started packing some clothes. I didn't know how long I would be gone, so I just threw some shit in a bag and booked my ticket. “She's my girlfriend, He is .  And you're my best friend, don't you think you have some sort of obligation to tell me when my girlfriend things we don't work?"

“Don't you think you have an obligation as her boyfriend to make sure she's happy? Look, I love you to death, man, but you've been pulling away from her for so long I'm surprised she's stayed as long as she has.”

“You're a dick.”

“No, Shawn.” he shook his head. “I'm just telling you the truth. And I'm not the only one who's noticed. The guys see it too. The band. Everyone except you.”

“And no one's told me a goddamn thing,” I crossed my arms over my chest.

“Because we knew you'd react this way. But let me tell you this: that girl has loved you despite all the hell you've put her through. She moved here away from all she's ever known for you, and you're rarely ever here. She put her dreams on hold so you could continue following yours. Do you think she likes what she does? No, but she does it because that's what keeps her close to you. You've taken her for granted and she doesn't deserve that.”

I sighed, “You're right,” I said defeated. “She doesn't, and I know that after everything I've done I don't deserve her. I know. But I love her more than anything.”

“Don't tell me that. Tell her.”

☆

My palms were sweaty as I stood in front of her childhood home. Her dad's truck was in the driveway, y/n's wasn't. I knocked on the door and waited. Her dad stood before me. “Can we talk?” I asked, my hands in my pockets.

He nodded and motioned for me to come inside. “Sit down,” he pointed to the couch nearest to the kitchen. He sat opposite of me.

I took in a deep breath and rubbed my palms on my jeans. “Has she said anything to you?”

He shook his head, “Not to me. Her sister, probably.”

I cleared my throat, “Well, I'm going to apologize anyway. Things haven't been going great for us for quite some time now and that's completely on me. I've taken her for granted and that was never my intention. I love her and I never meant to hurt her, you need to know that.”

“I do, Shawn.”

“I'm in love with her, sir. I have been for seven years, and I will be for the rest of my life. I hadn't known pure heartache until she left the other day. I couldn't even get out of bed, and none of this is your problem, but I just want you to know that I love her and I never want to see her hurt like this again. I want to spend the rest of my life making it up to her. So… May I have your blessing to ask her go marry me?”

He was silent for a while and then he chuckled. “I'll give you my blessing, Shawn. You've taken good care of her, whether you think you have or not. But ultimately the decision is hers.”

“Yes, sir.” I nodded. “Thank you,” I stood and shook his hand; he brought me into a hug.

“You take good care of her, okay?”

“Of course.”

The waiting was torture. I stood in the middle of her old bedroom with a bouquet of flowers in one hand and the ring in the other, behind my back. She stopped short when she saw me. “Glad you're back,” I said.

“Shawn. What are you - What are you doing here?”

“I came to apologize. And to completely beg you to come home with me.”

***

I thought I was imagining things when I saw that beautiful head of hair. But then he spoke in the voice of my dreams and I startled slightly. I rubbed my forehead, “I said I needed time.”

“I know, pumpkin, I know. But if you could just hear me out.” He set the flowers he was holding on my old desk. “No yelling, I promise.” He reached his hands out for me. “Do you trust me?”

I sighed. Of course I did. So I placed my hands in his and he led me outside. We stood in the middle of the circle drive. “Seven years ago,” he started, “I was standing right here when you came running up to me and you wrapped your entire body around me. You were wearing mg pink Lost in Japan hoodie, with yoga shorts, no makeup, and your hair in a messy bun. I swore to myself that day that I had never seen anyone or anything look as beautiful as you did in that moment.”

“Shawn,” I tried to pull my hands back, but he brought them to his chest, near his heart.

“I'm not done,” he sighed. “I’d been in love with you for months already, by that point, but that day did it for me. That's when I really knew that you were the girl I was gonna spend my life with. I've never not believed that.” He let go of my hands and reached into his back pocket, then he took my left hand again.

Oh no.

“Y/n, my beautiful cherry blossom, my pumpkin, my love. I am so tremendously sorry. I know I've fucked up immensely these last few years, and if I could go back in time, I would. I would love you harder. I would kiss you more. I would take you on more dates because I love you. I have since the day I met you and I will until the day I die.” He got down on one knee and the tears blurred my vision.

“Shawn, no. No, no, no. Get up, bubba.” my hand flew to my mouth, this isn't how I thought it would go down. After a big fight.

“I can't take back what I've done, but I can try to make it up to you every day for the rest of my life if you'll let me.” He took in a deep breath, “Y/f/n, will you let me spend the rest of my life loving you unconditionally? Will you marry me?” He popped open the velvet box and even through my clouded eyes, I could see how big the ring was. But that's not what this was about. This was about the man in front of me, who I've spent nearly a decade of my life with. He was here in my hometown, begging for forgiveness, asking me to marry him. And it killed me that even though he'd been the worst the last two years, I still wanted him.

“Y/n,” he said, his voice shaking. “Will you marry me?” He asked again.

I took in a deep breath. He needed an answer. I closed my eyes tight and let the last few years fall before I said, “Yes.”

“Yes?”

I nodded and laughed through the tears that were now resurfacing. “You said yes. Oh my god!” He picked me up and twirled me around again and again. Once back on the ground, he put the ring on my finger with his shaking hand. “I was scared you'd say no because I messed up too much.”

I pulled him down and rested my forehead against his. “You have the rest of your life to make it up to me.” I played with the tufts of hair on the back of his neck. “I love you.”

He smiled and then he kissed me. And this kiss, it was enough to keep me grounded forever. I knew in this second that I would never regret my choice to marry him.

***

That's it, guys! I hope you enjoyed it!

@ashwarren32 @youcanttakemyyouth

@darkwolfpeanutskeleton

[punkscowardschampions]

Rio & Buster

Rio: Nance text me so I'm here Rio: but, you don't have to talk if you don't want Rio: but you can too Buster: Get out Buster: You can't be here Rio: I am now so Rio: Avoid the living room, like Buster: Just go Rio: Buster, what's happened? Buster: Rio, just leave Buster: It's what you're gonna wanna do anyway Rio: I can't 'til your family is back Rio: Why? Buster: Please Buster: I can't do this Rio: But you have to? Buster: I don't know Buster: I don't fucking know anymore what I have to do Rio: Alright Rio: You've got to decide right now? Buster: The decision's already been made Rio: Okay Rio: Who by? Buster: Chlo as per Rio: What's she done now? Buster: Don't Rio: What can I do? Rio: Or do you want your Dad or? Buster: I don't want any of you Rio: What do you want? Buster: Like that matters Buster: It's all fucked Rio: It does Buster: To you maybe Buster: For as long as that's about to last Rio: Definitely Rio: I'm not going anywhere Buster: You can't say that Buster: You don't know Rio: I can Rio: Talk to me Buster: Fine, but you asked for this Buster: You should've just left Buster: Chlo's pregnant. She says it's mine Rio: Ah Rio: That explains it Buster: Is that all you've got to say? Rio: I don't know what to say Rio: Just, I get it Buster: No you don't Buster: You can't Rio: I'm not saying that Rio: I get why your room is trashed Buster: Well, cheers Buster: Come up if you wanna smash something yourself Rio: Jesus Buster: And if not, you know now so you can go Rio: No Buster: Yes Rio: I'm not going Buster: I'm not gonna cry on your shoulder about this so where does that leave us? Rio: I don't know Buster: Let me know when you figure it out, like Rio: What, you get to not know but I've got to work it all out Buster: Not really my decision what you wanna do, is it Rio: Well Rio: I don't fucking know Buster: You and me both, babe Rio: What is she doing? Buster: Keeping it Buster: And hopefully a DNA like I asked Rio: Right Rio: and if it's yours, what are you doing? Buster: Raising a kid with her Buster: Nothing else I can do Rio: There is but Rio: that's the right thing Buster: No there isn't Rio: Not the first or last Buster: Yeah 'cause that worked out so well for Drew and your sister Rio: Well, how the hell do you reckon this is this going to work out well Rio: you hate her Rio: she's Rio: a mess Buster: It won't Buster: But at least I'll have tried instead of just giving up Buster: Same as how I tried to tell her its a bad idea to have this kid Rio: This is fucked Rio: she can't be a mum Buster: I know Buster: But maybe it won't be my kid and she won't be my problem either Rio: Yeah but maybe it will Buster: Well it's not like I can sub you in to be the kid's mum instead Rio: Shut up Rio: How is she so stupid Rio: Jesus fucking Christ Buster: How am I? Buster: It is what it is Rio: Why isn't she on the pill Rio: who isn't in this day and age it ain't hard Buster: Feel free to hit her up and ask Buster: She's very keen to be your friend anyway, like Rio: What? Buster: [Sends the Rio related relevant screenshots] Buster: We had a great chat Rio: She's Buster: I know Rio: Are you sure she's even pregnant Rio: she isn't taking this seriously Buster: I'm not sure of anything Buster: I don't even know if I actually fucked her so Rio: This is Rio: This is the worst thing that could've happened to you Buster: Tell me something I don't know, babe Rio: I can't Buster: Do you get now why I need you to fuck off Rio: No Rio: not really Buster: It's too much Buster: I can't do this Rio: That's not fair Buster: None of this is fair Buster: Or part of the plan Rio: so everything has to go to shit Rio: fine Buster: It already has Buster: Don't act like you're fine with having her around forever Buster: I have to be stuck with her, you don't Rio: Sounds like you've decided for me Buster: I can't do that Rio: You have though Rio: I've got the message Buster: Babe Rio: What Rio: I'm fucking off Buster: I'm sorry Buster: I just need you to know that before you go, okay Rio: No you don't and no you aren't Rio: because I didn't want to go and you aren't stopping me so Buster: You think I want you to go? Rio: You don't know what you want Rio: I didn't think that extended to me but it is what it is, yeah? Buster: Don't Buster: Of course I want you Buster: I'm just trying not to be a selfish cunt for once Buster: Isn't it hard enough doing this without all this bullshit added? Rio: It doesn't suit you Buster: Yeah, well, it's gonna have to start Buster: I can't be a selfish cunt with a kid, can I Buster: Time to change my suit, babe Rio: Good luck, Buster Buster: Rio, come on Buster: I don't want to leave it like this Rio: You're right though Rio: You have to Buster: But Rio: You know what you've got to do Rio: What is there to say? Buster: I love you Rio: I love you Buster: Don't go Rio: Nancy will be back with your parents in a minute Buster: I don't care Rio: I can't stand in the way of you doing the right thing can I Buster: Us being together is the right thing Buster: We both know that Rio: I don't think she'll agree Buster: She doesn't get a say in it Rio: What about your kid Buster: If it's mine, it's mine Buster: She can't change that if she decides she wishes it wasn't Rio: But it's not fair to put this shit on it Rio: there will already be enough from the situation with her Rio: never mind adding this Buster: I know but she's already ruined so much Buster: I can't just let her take everything Buster: I don't get to go to America and I don't get to be with you either Buster: Fuck that Rio: I know Rio: It's fucked and I really am sorry Rio: it's just fucked Buster: It's only fucked 'cause I fucked it all up Buster: You don't need to be sorry Rio: It wasn't even you that's the worst part Rio: I can't be angry because it was so wrong and weird and horrible Buster: You can be angry at me for going out and getting in that state though. I am Rio: It won't change that it happened, and it definitely won't change that there's going to be a kid Buster: Nothing will Buster: Not how much I don't want it or how much I want you Rio: No Rio: I know Buster: You still get to react to it how you want Rio: I don't want to be angry Rio: I'm tired of it Rio: I wanted to be with you Buster: So come upstairs Buster: Be with me Rio: No Rio: I can't Buster: Why not? Rio: Because you're only doing it because you don't want to think about this anymore Rio: and I can't deal with knowing that Buster: I want you to stay 'cause I love you Rio: Your parents are going to be here soon and you're going to have to tell them Rio: One thing at a time, yeah Buster: I can't tell them while Nance is here Buster: Let's just both go and I'll do it later Rio: Better she hears it from you than her Rio: though yeah, it's going to be fucking awful Buster: She won't say anything, her parents don't even know yet Rio: You suddenly trust her? Buster: She seemed actually bothered about that Rio: Well who wants to tell their parents they're knocked up Rio: not even a boyfriend in sight Buster: She wants me to tell them with her Buster: I said I would Rio: Jesus Christ, Buster Rio: Why don't you just marry her Buster: Don't Buster: I couldn't say no, she asked me and it's not like I wanna tell mine Buster: I'd love to have someone in my corner for it, like Rio: Yes you could Rio: You aren't together, that's such a ridiculous thing to ask Rio: what kind of message do you think it sends to her and her 'rents when you wanna show up all honourable fuck's sake Buster: I was just trying to help Buster: I thought she was scared about it Rio: More fool you Rio: Honestly Buster: I'm an idiot, alright Buster: Whatever Buster: I'm not saying I handled any of the convo well Rio: Because it was a fucking farce Rio: she's probably faking it Rio: who just drops it into a text conversation Rio: I don't buy it Buster: Me either honestly Buster: But we'll see what she comes back with evidence wise Buster: Shopping bags of Baby Gucci don't count, unfortunately Rio: Of course she has Rio: Stupid fucking girl Buster joined the chat 3 hours ago Buster: Like, the levels at which she is not taking this seriously or understanding how fucked any of this is Rio: It's concerning Rio: Maybe her parents will make her Rio: at least you can make sure she tells them if you're there I guess Buster: I mean, I know you don't think it's a good idea but I can also be there to correct any bullshit she tries to say to them Buster: I wouldn't be surprised if she says we're together, you know Rio: Well yeah, that's why she wants you there Rio: so it doesn't look like just a party hookup Buster: What the fuck am I actually gonna do, babe Rio: I don't know Rio: All I know is, you've got what, 8 months, 'til it's actually here so Buster: I'll say that for her, she's given me plenty of warning Rio: You know, hit you up for those push presents Rio: Fucking hell Buster: Don't Rio: I'm not laughing at you but Jesus if I don't Buster: I need a fucking drink Buster: Come with me Rio: Alright, I'll drive you Rio: I'll have to text your sister you know Rio: they'll be worried, more than they are already Buster: I'll do it Buster: I've gotta say sorry for how many times I told her to fuck off etc Buster: Should probably invite them all for drinks 'cause they're gonna need it but Rio: Okay Rio: Proud of you Buster: Don't Buster: I can't start laughing right now I don't trust it Rio: Let's just get you that drink then Buster: I'm not trying to drink alone and be that level of sad cunt, cheers Buster: I'll get us a cab Buster: Leave your car there Rio: Alright Rio: but I don't trust getting wasted Buster: Alright Buster: It's not like I can anyway, I'm gonna have to face the fam at some point Buster: Not as if I can just fly back without talking to them now Rio: Not really Buster: I need to stay here for a while Buster: I literally can't see Chlo until I calm down Buster: She's gone to a party tonight so Rio: Will they let you? Buster: They can't stop me Buster: But once I explain, they'll probably agree it's a good idea Rio: Once they see your room, like Buster: Don't take the piss out of me Rio: I'm not Rio: It's real Buster: Yeah Rio: Have you hurt yourself? Buster: I'm sure I would have noticed by now Rio: Let me come up and check Buster: I'll come down to you. You don't need to be dealing with this mess along with all the others Buster: If I leave a blood trail we'll know what's up, like Rio: Not funny Buster: You don't need to worry about me, babe Rio: That's a lie Buster: I'm alright, I promise Rio: Don't Buster: See for yourself Rio: That's not what I mean Buster: I know, but what can I say? Rio: Nothing if you're not going to be real Buster: Rio, come on Buster: Give me a break, will you? Rio: Seriously? Buster: Yeah, seriously Rio: Fuck off Rio: seriously Buster: Don't start Buster: Let's just go Rio: You go Buster: Babe Buster: Stop Buster: I don't need this from you right now, yeah? Rio: Oh, I'm sorry Buster: Why are you being like this? Rio: Don't be stupid Rio: just come on Buster: How am I being stupid, asking a fucking question? Buster: Just talk to me Rio: I'm fucking heartbroken, Buster Rio: and I don't know how to deal with any of this so give me a break too, alright Buster: I'm sorry Buster: I know, okay, this is so fucked Rio: I know you are Buster: Please don't go Rio: I won't Rio: I'm not Buster: I love you so much Rio: I know Rio: and I love you Rio: but you know that this is going to end it right Buster: Don't say that Rio: Even if we don't talk about it Buster: If you wanna end it then you end it Buster: Otherwise no Buster: It won't Rio: You can say that now Rio: but when the kid's here Buster: What? You think I'm gonna leave you Buster: How does that work? Rio: Because we don't get to work in the real world Buster: Shut up Buster: You don't know that Rio: I just know Rio: You're not going to want to explain it or deal with the backlash, when you've already got all that to contend with Buster: Fuck that, you're guessing Buster: And fuck you if you think I can't handle that Buster: I've gotta tell them about this kid, I want to tell them about you. It's different Rio: I don't want to make your life any harder Buster: You're the only one who doesn't do that Buster: I need you. Don't you know that? Buster: Everything will only be harder without you Rio: You're going to be a Dad Buster: If you wanna use this as your out, I can't blame you Rio: Don't say it like that Rio: I don't want an out, it's not like this is the perfect opportunity for me, fuck off Buster: It is though Buster: Then we don't have to tell your fam, I know you don't wanna do it anyway Rio: Just because I don't want to rush it Rio: Why is it so bad to keep things private Buster: It's not private, it's secret Rio: It had to be Buster: Says you but that doesn't mean I have to want to keep it like that Rio: Well, it's beside the point now isn't it Buster: No Rio: You've got so much more you have to focus on now Buster: I've always had a lot going on Buster: Find a better excuse, babe Rio: Exactly, it isn't just this kid Rio: it's school, all that Buster: It's hard, yeah, it'll get harder Buster: But I'm not just giving up Rio: Babe Buster: Do what you've gotta do Buster: I can't be mad about it Rio: Don't expect me to decide right now Buster: I'm not Buster: I don't have a fucking clue what I'm doing right now apart from losing my shit Rio: Sounds about right Rio: not like you were gonna cry with joy Buster: not like anyone is Buster: Chlo can bullshit all she likes but none of this was planned or how she really wants it Rio: Well, it's happening regardless so Rio: we'll all have to get used to it Buster: Yeah Rio: Cab's here Buster: Alright Buster: Are you still coming? Rio: Yeah Rio: Said I'd keep an eye on you Buster: Where are we going? Buster: The fewer people I have to see the better for them Buster: And us Rio: Don't worry, I know a place Buster: Good

[punkscowardschampions]

Buster & Rio

Buster: How are they then? Buster: Besides missing me madly like Rio: Yeah, that's the general consensus here, like Rio: Assuming I'm talking to the girls? 😜 Rio: Everyone's good, enjoying their freedom from education hard, being cute gays, like Rio: How are you lot, babe? Buster: Better not be too hard though, Nance has got a lot of hair to hold back. Your brother not so much, granted Buster: Oh you know, we're manic. High on sugar and poor impulse control Rio: Don't worry, the stylish yet efficient bun is in, she'd not risk her crowning glory, like 😂 Rio: 😏 and that's just you, yeah? Buster: Standard Buster: 'Course. Only bribe you with the sweet stuff Rio: Likewise Rio: You know my weaknesses Rio: I'll facetime later to read 'em a story, I found some cool new ones out here Rio: Why were we shopping for kid's stuff I hear you not ask, well Rio: Don't worry, your sister ain't knocked up Buster: You gonna facetime me later too, yeah? Buster: I got to thinking she'd landed herself another MILF, this time with kids in toe like Rio: Duh, know you can't sleep without a story from me either, I got you baby Rio: Nope Rio: You'll never guess Buster: Are you actually gonna make me Buster: Or just tell me Rio: Alright, Demi and June are going to have a baby! Buster: You're right I'd never have guessed that one Rio: Well, here's the thing Rio: they've asked me to surrogate for them Buster: But you burst their bubble, right? Buster: And then they found someone else Rio: No Rio: We've not gone ahead and started the process or anything but I think its a good idea Rio: it'll make it so its biologically a bit of both of them, as close as Buster: Yeah I get where they're coming from and what they get out of it Rio: You don't think it'd be a nice thing for me to do for them? Why not? I've got the eggs, the incubator Buster: Nice ain't the word, babe Rio: Its my little brother, if I can do something to make him happy, I wanna Rio: and it won't be that much of a hardship on me, like Rio: Sure I can deal with morning sickness and the rest Buster: If you say so Rio: You don't want me to Buster: It ain't up to me Rio: No but I care about your opinion Buster: Yeah? Buster: That's why you already said you'd do it Rio: Not officially, or exactly Rio: I couldn't no it out of the gate Rio: He's so excited, you know what he's like, it would've looked weird if I wasn't Buster: Fuck that Buster: It's weird that you wanna do it Rio: Why is that weird? Buster: 'Cause you ain't Chlo, wanting to just give your kid over when you reckon your part's done Rio: Don't say that Rio: It won't be mine Buster: Bullshit Buster: You're carrying it, you think you're not gonna get attached feeling it kick and everything Buster: Come on Rio: Plenty of women do it Rio: All the time Buster: I don't care about them Buster: I care about you Rio: Then trust me when I say I can Buster: You know I trust you Buster: But can't I be worried, like Buster: Just trying to look at this from the POV you won't Rio: Of course you can but Rio: It isn't fair if they can't have a kid Buster: Grace can't either, you gonna offer for her too? Buster: Don't act like there aren't other options Rio: If she asked, yeah Rio: but she's 18 and single so quite unlikely Buster: You know what I mean Rio: Well what if I want to experience it myself Rio: I'm not going to get a chance now either, unless I take this Buster: That's not a reason to put yourself through this Rio: You can't say that Rio: You don't know, you have kids, and your a man, its totally different Buster: So it's my fault now? Buster: Whatever Buster: You wanted my opinion Buster: I know what it's like to not be able to raise your kid yourself, remember? I don't want that for you Rio: Didn't say that Rio: I'm saying you can't know how I feel on it Rio: It isn't like I'll never see it Rio: still be family Buster: Don't you reckon that'll be harder? Buster: Look what happened to your sister, having Drew around but not Rio: Why would it be anything like that Rio: I'm not like him, I'm not going to pretend she doesn't exist Rio: she'll have me as her Auntie and she'll know I'm her bio Ma but she'll have two parents that love her Buster: So did Edie Buster: Really felt it though, didn't she? Rio: Shut up Rio: You're being stupid now Rio: Its not close to the same situation Rio: Edie knew she was a mistake, one her Da especially did not want Rio: this is planned, and so wanted, and the kid will know Buster: Forget I said anything then Buster: You've made your mind up already anyway Rio: I have to do this Rio: can't you support me? Buster: Of course I'll support you Buster: Doesn't mean I can't warn you. I have to, if you have to do this Rio: Okay Rio: I hear you, yeah? Rio: Noted Buster: I love you Rio: I love you too Buster: Good Rio: I'm coming Home in Sunday Rio: or Imma have to buy another suitcase for all the presents Buster: And if Kira couldn't see you before she goes back to Erin's you'd have to hide in your suitcase Rio: Exactly Rio: Don't wanna miss her Buster: No way she's letting that happen Buster: And, you know, her curls are so big now like Rio: 😍 Rio: They're both so beautiful, my heart melts Rio: How can I deny the world of my DNA either, yeah? Buster: You've got me there Buster: You would make a beautiful kid Rio: Right? Rio: And Demi is gorg so not gonna fuck with the mix, thank God Rio: like soz, Junie, don't rate your mans Buster: He's not as hot as me, but who is Rio: Obviously Rio: but not the colour they going for, like Buster: Tut tut Rio: Reverse racism at its finest, you reckon? 😂 Buster: I'm only playing Buster: Gotta when you got no adult company Rio: Poor baby Rio: You love it Buster: Can't lie Rio: Mhmm, no fooling me, boy Buster: Too late for all that, I know Rio: How's Messi Rio: take a pic? Buster: [Sends a group selfie] Rio: 😘💖😩💋 Rio: My faves Rio: Wish I was Home Buster: Me too Buster: But we've waited longer for each other, yeah? Rio: Yeah Rio: Just dramatic Rio: We're all going out later so, won't have time to mope then, they won't have that 😏 Buster: Out where? Buster: Like the club or the museum? Very different vibes Rio: The club, we've exhausted the museums Rio: Sure the lads would disagree but Buster: And you've gotta make the most of it Buster: Can't be hitting the dance floor pregnant Rio: Who says? Rio: Gotta keep working and werkin', like Buster: 🤑 Rio: Although I am having to argue that case rn Rio: Obviously, you get compensation but Demi says I should rest and take more but Rio: I don't know Buster: You'll have to decide when it happens Buster: You won't know the struggle until you do Buster: My mum worked until she dropped, literally but Chlo milked it as her standard Buster: Erin was somewhere in the middle Rio: You did drop in early Rio: Height of rudeness, tbh Rio: Couldn't let me be even a few days older Buster: Blame Nance, she came out first Buster: I was chill and chilling Rio: Likely story 😂 Rio: Hope I don't give them a bogof baby too Rio: not planning for that Buster: You'll be begging for rest then Buster: My mum was sick as hell with us Rio: Again, your awkwardness does not shock me, babe Rio: It is more likely with IVF but fingers crossed Rio: not needing the extra dollar that bad Buster: At least you could take inspo from Disney and keep one each Buster: What could go wrong? 😂 Rio: Perfect plan Rio: You already think I'm gonna become the child snatcher so why not be that cruel about it Buster: Exactly Buster: And the cuteness will be too hard to resist we already know Rio: Oh yeah, THAT'S why you've got 2 already 🙄 Rio: I've got some self-control, unlike yous 😘 Buster: 'Course Buster: 😇 you are Buster: Sainting yourself with this move too so Rio: Hard job but someone's gotta Buster: Who says? Rio: Don't lets start on that again Buster: I'm just saying Buster: Catch me here sinning Rio: Sure, Dad 😏 Rio: Face it, you're such a good boy now Rio: lost it, like Buster: You wish, babe Rio: Nah Rio: Devvo about it, I am Buster: Liar Buster: It'll go perfect with your mother mary vibes when all this goes ahead Rio: Fuck off Buster: I'd say make me but you're too much of a goodie two shoes now Rio: You're so annoying Rio: being a Da made you perfect, did it? Rio: I think not Buster: You know it Buster: Always been close anyway though Rio: 😂 Rio: Please Rio: Anyway, I'm not going to be a Mum, fullstop Buster: Says you Buster: The kid might have a different take Rio: Lord, it ain't even cooking yet Rio: Never mind your imagined teen angst Rio: plenty of donor babies in the world, not losing their shit Rio: they'll be better parents than I'd ever Buster: Whatever Buster: Come on, there's a limit to the bullshit and we both know you're such a great ma Buster: Indie can vouch Rio: That's different Rio: it isn't real, for one Buster: Jay then Rio: You know I love her Buster: Yeah and you're more of a mum than her actual one is Buster: So don't use that as an excuse Rio: I'm not Rio: I'm just saying Rio: The kid's gonna have a good life, yeah Rio: It won't be wanting for anything, least of all me, I'm sure Buster: Fine Rio: Don't be angry Buster: I don't wanna fight with you Buster: Go have fun or whatever Rio: Well, I ain't going to now Rio: but we'll talk when I get back, then? Buster: If that's what you want, yeah Rio: We're getting nowhere now so Rio: Got no other option, have I Buster: You always have options, Rio Buster: But pick your battles too, like Rio: Didn't realise it would be one Buster: What does that tell you? How much have you even thought about this? Rio: If I had made this much drama when you were having Kira, Jay even, we wouldn't be here rn Buster: That's different Buster: It wasn't my decision, for one thing Rio: So? I still supported you Rio: It was still happening Buster: I've said I'll support you Buster: Doesn't mean I have to agree with everything Rio: How are you going to support me if you don't agree with it on some level Rio: Its not going to work Buster: I'll be here anyway, that's how Buster: For you Rio: Alright Buster: Not like I'm the first person to have to get on board with something I'm not 100% sure will work Buster: Our families did it for us and that worked out Rio: True Rio: Just thought it'd be different Rio: but its alright Buster: What do you want from me? Buster: Tell me Rio: No, it was stupid Rio: you're fine Buster: Rio Buster: Come on Rio: It's me Rio: I'm good Buster: Babe, talk to me Buster: I'm sorry I made you upset Buster: But you can tell me anything Rio: It isn't your fault Rio: I just wish it was exciting news Rio: it is for them Rio: but you're not excited for me, and why would you be, or anyone else Rio: because it isn't my news Buster: I'm sorry Buster: That's all I was trying to get across, you don't have to do this just 'cause they want you to Buster: If you wanna have a baby this isn't the way, you know Rio: I know, they aren't forcuing me Rio: but, I don't wanna take that away from them, anyone Buster: I know and you know I love how much you care and how you'll do anything for the people you love, yeah? Buster: I'm just saying don't hurt yourself over it Buster: I just want you to be careful. Think carefully that's all Rio: Yeah Rio: I will Rio: I am Buster: I'm not trying to say it's the same, fucking obviously, but when my mum and dad didn't bring my brother home from the hospital, I remember it Buster: How excited me and Nance were and then Rio: I know Rio: That's awful Rio: but you were kids, there was a lot of confusion and not getting it Rio: I know what I'm signing up for here, like Rio: I know it won't be fun for a while afterward, the hormones and that Buster: Just remember you'll be leaving empty handed too Buster: I trust you Buster: I won't keep beating you over the head with my drama Rio: I can't not do it Rio: How would I say no, like? Buster: Just let the word come out Buster: Practice on me if you want Rio: Funny Rio: They'd be heartbroken Buster: Call me selfish but I'd rather them than you Rio: I can handle it Rio: It's about time something good happens for June, Billie has Stevie and she's settled Buster: Then do it Buster: I can't and won't stop you Rio: My Ma'll be buzzin' Rio: another grandbaby, at last, slacking so hard, like Buster: No arguments there Rio: think she was 6 down by now Rio: preggo with the twins Buster: Christ Buster: Two's hard enough, cheers Buster: Didn't have to birth them myself either Rio: Yeah, she's hardcore Buster: I clearly take after mine Buster: Happy with two Buster: Any more would be such a headfuck Buster: They got their head round it though I guess Rio: Nah, you're just saying that 'cos you ain't had chance to impregnate anyone recently Buster: You're away until Sunday Buster: Plenty of time Buster: Three could be my magic number too Rio: Fuck off Rio: You prick 😂 Buster: I proper miss you Rio: Sounds like it Buster: If you need to hear it, call me later Rio: Just lemme know when you've got your newest baby mama out the door and I will Buster: But I might need you before she leaves, 'cause you know I don't want anyone as much as you Buster: Hate to fail to make baby 3 Rio: Can't find the staff these days, can ya? Buster: 😂 Buster: Got my heart set on sticking to the numbers and my parents status quo though now Rio: I believe in you, babe Rio: power through Rio: if you can with Chlo, you can with anyone Buster: True Buster: Better hit the club myself for a candidate Rio: Ha, you gonna bring along 1&2 like? Buster: They'd love it Buster: Haven't stopped dancing all day Rio: Reckon you'll fuck with their street cred tho Buster: maybe Rio: who goes to the club with their lame old dad Buster: You would Buster: Daddy's girl Rio: Can't tell if you mean my actual Da or you Rio: too awkward to ask Buster: That's how you know you need to sort yourself out, babe Rio: shut up Rio: you love it Buster: I do love you Rio: I know Buster: Good