#SHE IS RAISING A VERY IMPORTANT CONCERN ABOUT THE SHIT PICTURE YOU WANNA POST???

[tshifty]

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[221castiel]

Let it Snow - Chapter Six

Master Post // AO3

December 11th 15 Days until Christmas

She’s pretty, hell she’s more than pretty, she’s hot, and smart, and funny, and fucking perfect, with her kind eyes and easy personality. Her black skin glowing under the bar's warm lighting as her hair fell to her shoulders in tight curls and lips were spread out in a smile. She was fucking perfect, Dean had never been more certain about anything. He should’ve been planning their next date there and then, as she talked about her job as a reporter. He should’ve been planning this wedding, their future together, the house they’d move into, the names of their kids -a boy and a girl obviously- whether they’d get a cat or a dog. Yet he couldn't bring himself to. Every time he even considered a second date his thoughts were brought to someone else.

He already had all that, even if the cat was a little bitch. He didn’t need someone new, he needed Cas.

“What about yourself,” Cassie asked, taking a sip from her cider, “you’re a highschool teacher right?”

Dean nodded, looking back down to his own glass of water, the ice cubes that had filled now melted. “Unfortunately,” he joked.

“It can’t be that bad.”

“Yah, It’s actually pretty awesome. The kids are great, most of the other teachers are great,” Dean added. “The pays shit, but I pick up some hours at an auto shop to make up for it,” Cassie nodded along though didn’t reply, probably waiting for Dean to continue, to keep the conversation going the way she had when talking about her job.

He probably should say something else, though instead he picked up the last fry on his plate and shoved it into his mouth.

The whole date had been a mistake. One big fucking mistake filled with weak attempts at conversation and fake interest in what ever Cassie had to say as if Dean didn’t have a hundred more important things to think about.

Cassie tapped her nails against their table. “How’s Jack?” She finally asked.

“Kids good,” Dean replied, “he’s excited for Christmas.”

“That’s good.”

Dean nodded, pressing his lips together as he glanced across the bar they were sat in. It wasn’t too busy, with music playing above and the low chatter of people echoing against the wall, despite that things couldn’t have been quieter, the awkward silence between them thick.

He should say something. Anything. A compliment, an apology, a joke about the shitty music that played, cause it was shitty, really shitty. Yet nothing came, Dean’s mouth suddenly dry as he glanced to the table next to their own, where a couple was having a much better date than theirs.

Fuck emotionally healthy people that could handle relationships.

“Wanna get out of here?” Dean finally asked, looking back to Cassie, who somehow still had a smile across her face, as if Dean hadn’t spent their whole date being a douchebag.

She brought her glass back to her lips, swallowing whatever was left of the cider before nodding towards the exit. “Lead the way.”

After calling over the waitress over and paying for their food -fifty fucking dollars, how the hell was their food fifty fucking dollars?- they stepped back into the streets, the cold air biting at Dean’s face. Cassie offered a small smile as they began walking in the direction of the impala, something Dean didn’t return. How could he when they were walking so close, their shoulders almost brushing, fingers only inches away; it would take seconds for Dean to lace their hands together.

He shoved his hands into the pockets of his jacket and looked down, watching the thin layer of snow crunch under his boots. It was easier than looking at Cassie.

“Hey, “ Cassie began, causing Dean to glance up, meeting Cassie’s gaze for barely a second before he looked ahead. “Is everything alright?”

“Yah,” Dean replied, forcing an easy smile across his face, or at least what he hoped was an easy smile, though Cassie didn’t look convinced, “why wouldn’t I be, life’s awesome.”

She pressed her lips together and shrugged, “you just seem off.”

“Ya well, “ Dean kicked his foot at the snow, sending the small flakes flying forward. “Just stressed about work and shit, money's tight with the holidays.”

It wasn’t a complete lie, money was tight now without Cas there to help, especially with Christmas coming up, but it wasn’t the full truth either.

He couldn’t tell Cassie the full truth. That through the whole date he'd been thinking about his ex. About Cas’s smile, his eyes, the breathless noises he’d make when Dean kissed along his jaw. The way he tilted his head often in confusion, but occasionally when Jack did something cute or Dean made an especially bad joke in fondness. A small smile would spread across his face and his eyes would lighten up, his whole expression just warm. Or how tomorrow Cas would be on a probably much more successful date with the puppy killer Mike whatever the douchebag's last name was.

He couldn’t say any of that, it wasn’t fair to Cassie, and so, money.

Nobody wanted to talk about money issues.

Money would end the conversation and Dean could move on to something else, compliment the dress Cassie wore, ask her about her plans for the holidays, anything else.

Just change the conversation.

Change the conversation.

Change the conversation.

“And I think I’m in love with my ex,” Dean said before his mouth snapped shut and he stopped in place. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. So much for changing the conversation.

Cassie stared back, lips parted and eyes wide, as Dean swallowed, trying to breath through the ball forming in his throat. “Shit Cassie,” Dean finally choked out, “I didn't mean-“

“Oh,” She whispered.

“Son of a bitch,” Dean continued, “I’m sorry.”

“No- don’t, I should’ve seen it coming.” Cassie pressed her lips together as she ran a hand down her face, “no guy is that perfect. So what? I was some final attempt to move on?”

“Worse,” Dean mumbled.

Son of a bitch, he wanted to kill himself; step onto the street and let a car hit him, bleed out in a slow painful death like he deserved.

Cassie crossed her arms, raising an eyebrow “Worse? Like how worse.”

“Like he had a date, and I didn’t want to look like the loser who hadn’t moved on worse.”

“But you are the loser who hasn't moved on.”

“I think douchebags more suiting.” Dean replied, causing a smile to tug across Cassie’s lips.

He pressed his lips together, glancing down to his boots then back up. The streets were quiet, lit only by the few stores that were still open and the Christmas lights that had been hung by the city. Thankfully they themselves and a very confused looking old lady down the street -maybe Dean should go help her?- were the only ones in sight, letting their awful date be private.

Thank fucking hell.

“You’re talking about Jack’s other dad?” Cassie asked, and Dean looked back, holding her gaze before he gave a small nod. “I’m sorry.”

“I think that’s my line.”

Cassie tilted her head, the look in her eyes tugging at Dean’s heart. He hated that pitied look from other people, gentle and filled with concern, wanting to help, even they couldn’t. Dean had caused his problems, every single fucking problem he had was his own fault, he didn’t deserve the help, he didn’t deserve pity and like hell he deserved Cas.

If only he could keep his mouth shut for five fuckin’ minutes

“You can apologize later,” Cassie said. She took a step closer and Dean clenched his jaw, “how about we go back to mine for now?”

“Can I get you a beer?” Cassie offered as they stepped into her apartment. It was the first thing either of them had said since they’d gotten into the impala, the car ride filled with a mix of Led Zeppelin and AC/DC, not that Dean was complaining. He shook his head, and after Cassie offered a variety of other drinks that he'd politely declined, she left to get herself a beer, leaving Dean to take a seat on her couch.

The layout was the same as his own apartment, though Cassie’s was much warmer, covered in pictures and other decorations. Things that even after a year of living in his Dean hadn’t set up. He’d always blamed it on lack of time, weekdays were spent working and weekends were spent with Jack, but even when he did have the time, he could never bring himself to.

“How long were you two together?” Cassie asked as she walked back into the living and took a seat in the arm chair across from the couch.

“We don’t have to talk about this.”

“”No, I want to hear about the guy you were willing to use me for,” Dean cringed, despite Cassie's tone being more teasing than hurt. “I think I deserve that much.”

Dean sighed, “I don’t know how long we were together- a long ass time.”

“You don’t know how long?” Cassie said, “I think I know why he’s your ex.”

Dean ran a hand through his hair as if that would do anything to calm the sudden unease in his chest, an unease that always came when Cas was mentioned. “Tomorrow would’ve been eleven years and nine months,” Dean replied, mouth dry and hands clammy, even when he ran them along his jeans. “But it’s almost been a year since we split up.”

“It hurts- the first year, but it gets better.” Cassie looked down to her bottle, “I’d been dating this guy for six years, and I thought he was going to propose, but-“ Cassie inhaled and gave a small shrug, “instead he was cheating, it took months to get over him.”

‘That’s different’, Dean wanted to say, you didn’t hurt anyone, you didn’t cause the pain. You weren’t the problem.

“How’d you do it?” Dean asked instead.

“Ice cream, crying, more ice cream,” a smile tugged at Cassie’s lips. “I moved. I’d lived in the same town my whole life and I just needed something new.”

“Can’t exactly do that without leaving Jack behind.”

“Ice cream and crying it is.”

Dean smiled, “I think I’m goin’ to need a lot of ice cream.”

“He must’ve been some guy.”

“He is,” Dean replied, looking down to his lap. “He teaches English at the same high school as me, and fuck he’s smart, he could’ve been some university professor if he’d wanted.” Dean said. “but he liked us at the same school and he liked the students.”

He inhaled slowly and Cassie brought the bottle to her lips, taking a small sip. “He’s too nice for his own good, and cares about everything so fucking much, and he’s just-“ Dean hesitated, “he’s just good.”

A small smile tugged at Cassie’s lips, that sad expression once again resting across her face that had Dean looking away and instead to the Christmas decorations that filled her living room. A reindeer in the centre of the coffee table, a couple snowmen across the bookshelf, Christmas lights hanging from her windows,

“I’m worried about him,” Dean finally continued, staring at the small Christmas tree on the top of her bookshelf. It was barely a foot tall, with plastic pine needles that were a soft pink colour and a few silver balls hanging from it. “I know somethin’s wrong but I don't know how to ask, or if I’m even allowed to, you know?”

Or if Dean wanted to know, he had his guesses and fuck he hoped they were wrong.

“There’s no harm in asking,” Cassie offered, though Dean could hear the hesitation in his voice.

“We’ve only just started talking again,” Dean replied. The chance of ruining things was too high, which was selfish of Dean, wanting to hold onto whatever relationship they may have rather than make sure Cas was okay. But he’d always been the selfish one in their relationship. “I don’t want to lose him again.”

Cassie pressed her lips together. “you really love him,” she said and Dean could only nod. ‘Cause he wasn’t good with words, he could barely describe his feelings to himself, never mind someone else. All he knew was he loved Cas with every beat of his heart, with every breath he took, with everything he could offer and couldn’t.

He loved Cas the same way the earth orbited the sun, without question.

[artificialqueens]

Justify My Love (Gigi x Jan) - Joley

ao3 link

It had started out as a completely innocuous comment during Untucked. Jackie and Jan had been talking about their time going out to bars and clubs in Manhattan, and more specifically, how Jan approached dating and hooking up when he was single.

“I swear, Jan has like a sixth sense, a bottom superpower or something. She can, without fail, always pick out the tops in a crowd. Sometimes it’s top-leaning verses, but it’s still a talent,” Jackie was saying with Jan nodding happily in agreement.

The other queens looked at her with curiosity. “So what about here? Are your top senses tingling?” Crystal asked curiously.

“Not with you,” Jan retorted with a laugh. “I mean I know Jaida is, I got those vibes from Nicky too, and obviously we have Miss Dom Top Girl Bye over here,” she gestured to Heidi. “Um… Yeah, am I forgetting anyone?”

Gigi cleared her throat pointedly, and Jan looked at her with sincere surprise. “What? Don’t look at me like that. I prefer topping. Is it that surprising?”

Jan strummed her fingers against her glass. “I mean… kinda, especially after I throttled you across the set. Honestly, you give off more ‘bossy bottom’ vibes, like Jackie.”

“Hey!” Jackie chimed in with a laugh.

“You know it’s true,” Jan cooed before redirecting her attention to Gigi. “No but really, if you’re a top, you’re a top. The sixth sense isn’t foolproof.”

The conversation tapered off after that, but the whole exchange was stewing with Gigi, who was simply unsatisfied with the result. It shouldn’t have continued to nag at her the way it did. It shouldn’t have still been lingering when they were nearing the end of the last episode. “Do I really give off bottom vibes?” she asked Jackie.

Jackie looked at her, perplexed. In the time since, she’d completely forgotten the exchange until Gigi jogged her memory. “Are you talking about what Jan said?”

“Yeah…”

“I guess I get what she meant. You can sometimes come off a little bratty, could be where she drew that conclusion,” she shrugged. “Is that really still bothering you?”

Gigi shifted uncomfortably. “It’s just that it’s totally inaccurate!” she insisted.

Jackie furrowed her brows. “Why are you so concerned with what Jan thinks?” She studied Gigi’s reaction – the red face, the averted gaze – she only had one conclusion to draw. “Do you… have a crush on Jan?” She didn’t let the younger queen answer. “Oh my god, you do! That’s so cute!” She cupped her face. “Aw, my sweet baby Geege,” she cooed.

Gigi swatted her hands away. “Knock it off, I don’t need that shit spreading around. Doesn’t she have a boyfriend, anyway?”

The enthusiasm immediately left Jackie’s face. She felt bad for not having thought about that, and embarrassed, considering all the double dates they’d been on. “Right, right, sorry. But hey, don’t get too down about it. Stranger things have happened.”

–––

Gigi had thought her feelings would dissipate with time. They weren’t around each other all the time, she was constantly busy. It should be out of sight, out of mind, right? And maybe it might’ve been the case, if it weren’t for the fateful text she got from Jaida one November night.

‘Did Jackie tell you Jan and her boyfriend broke up?’

Of course Jaida found out from Jackie, she thought. ‘No, when did that happen?’

‘A few days ago, Jan’s crashing on Jackie’s couch until she can lock down a new place. Said she’s been busy helping or she’d tell you herself. Apparently it’s important that you know.’

Gigi turned red at that, hiding her face in her pillows and letting out a groan until she could collect herself. ‘Did she say anything else?’

‘Yeah: I told you so’

She rolled her eyes. “I told you so,” she mocked to herself. Leave it to Jackie to be a gossip and a know-it-all. Still, the next thing she did was check her calendar, hoping she would be in New York sometime very soon.

As it turned out, ‘very soon’ ended up being about ten days. And Gigi thought that was enough time, especially if she did decide to do anything. But even though there was a part of her trying to talk himself out of it, the rest of her had been drowned in the same feelings she had on set, and she knew that crush hadn’t dissipated in the slightest.

It didn’t help that most of Jan’s instagram feed was post-breakup thirst trap pictures. It had caught Gigi off guard, but she certainly wasn’t complaining, nor was she planning on deleting the screenshots of those photos from her phone anytime soon. Beyond that, she refused to show even the slightest drop of nerves when she got to New York. She was going to be the confident Gigi Goode everyone knew and nothing less. And she was going to make certain Jan knew exactly how much of a top she was by the time she went back to Los Angeles.

Once in the hotel, Gigi took a quick shower and changed into a clean outfit that was far more fashionable than the sweats and oversized hoodie she’d arrived in. After writing and rewriting a text a few times, she asked Jan if she wanted to go out to a club, and to her relief, she got an enthusiastic ‘yes’ in reply.

Gigi was expecting to meet Jan at the club, but just as she finished getting ready, he got a text from Jan asking for her hotel room number.

“Hey, I missed you!” Jan greeted warmly when Gigi opened the door. She hugged her tightly, liking the way the other queen seemed to melt into his arms.

“I missed you too. How’ve you been?” Gigi asked as she ushered her inside. “You’re all settled into the new place, right?”

Jan nodded, sitting on the edge of the bed. “I have. It’s the first time I’m living alone and… honestly, it’s freeing. It’s nice, but a little lonely,” she admitted.

Gigi nodded and sat beside her. “Well, you won’t be lonely while I’m here. I’m going to annoy you incessantly until you’re ready to dropkick me back to LA,” she nudged him lightly.

“You could never annoy me,” Jan cooed and wrapped an arm around her, pulling her closer. “Well… maybe not never, but I’m still happy you’re here.”

Gigi had forgotten how physically affectionate Jan was, it had been a bit jarring at first. She had grown up with everyone keeping themselves at arms length, and normally that was how she liked things. But Jan was a hugger, a kisser, everything Gigi normally couldn’t stand, but somehow Jan was the exception. “I’m happy I’m here too.”

“And…” Jan pulled back to reach into his bag, “I thought we could do a little pregaming before we go out,” she set the bottle of vodka and cans of soda she’d gotten from the vending machine on the table.

“You’re the best,” she grinned as they fixed themselves drinks. “Cheers, to not being lonely tonight,” and they clinked their plastic cups and took long sips.

Jan took another sip and sat back down. “What’ve you been up to? Still a top?” she teased.

Gigi bit back a grin, this was just the segue she’d been hoping for. “I sure am. Still doubting me?”

“That really stuck with you, huh?” Jan chuckled. “I thought I saw it get under your skin a little bit,” she took Gigi’s hand, swinging it aimlessly. “Not still mad at me, are you?”

“Oh, I was never mad at you,” she assured, then sat straddling Jan’s lap. “But you have to understand that I can’t just let you be wrong like that,” she added, running her fingers through Jan’s hair. All the nerves she had come in with seemed to have vanished, and she let her lust and desire take control of her words and actions.

Jan seemed just as interested, brow raised and arms looped around Gigi’s waist. “Yeah? You’re gonna show me how much of a top you are, Geege?”

Gigi put two fingers under Jan’s chin and tilted her head up. “Honey, that’s only the tip of the iceberg. Is that why you wanted to come here first? Wanted to see if I’d fuck you? There’s no need to play games, you know. You could’ve just asked.”

“But where’s the fun in that?” Jan bat her lashes innocently.

So this was how she was going to play? Gigi smirked, not minding a bit. She grabbed Jan by her shirt and pulled her into a heated kiss. Her tongue slipped past Jan’s lips, swirling and wrestling it in a battle of dominance that she knew she was going to win. When she needed to come up for air, it was never more than a few seconds at a time before she eagerly dove back in, until finally she rested their foreheads together as she caught her breath. “Shit, do you have any idea of all the things I wanna do to you? Wanna fucking ruin you.”

“Please…” Jan’s voice was soft and breathy, but filled with an undeniable need that sent a thrill up Gigi’s spine.

And Gigi simply couldn’t leave it at that. “Please what?”

“Please fuck me, ruin me, take me like I know you’ve wanted to,” the words were spilling out too fast for Jan to realize she had admitted to knowing how Gigi felt about her at first. But she knew Gigi wasn’t one to talk about feelings, so she hoped that would be overlooked.

Gigi was, in fact, more than willing to overlook it. She just kissed Jan deeply, biting her bottom lip and slowly pulling back. “I don’t know how rough you like it, like… Will we need a safe word?”

Jan’s brows rose in interest, her hands splayed across Gigi’s thighs. “That’s exactly the kind of rough I like,” she purred.

“So, what’s your safe word?”

“Madonna.”

“Jan, too soon!”

Jan scoffed in mock offense. “How is it too soon for you?” She then giggled, hiding her face against Gigi’s neck until she could collect herself. “Sorry, sorry. I’ll just tell you to stop.”

Gigi got off of Jan and pushed her down onto the bed. “You’re ridiculous. Take your fucking clothes off.”

“Oooh, yes Daddy,” Jan purred, taking interest in Gigi’s firm tone. But she paused after she took her shirt off, tilting her head. “Or… Mommy?” She looked to Gigi for clarification.

“Doesn’t matter, Daddy’s fine,” she assured, then smirked. “Now go on, Daddy didn’t tell you to stop,” she gestured to the fact that Jan was still dressed from the waist down.

Jan breathed out an apology and quickly stripped down, then pushed herself up to her knees to undress Gigi as well.

“So eager,” Gigi chuckled, lifting her arms up so Jan could take her shirt off. “So desperate to get fucked, aren’t you?” she cooed as she kicked off her jeans and underwear, pinning Jan underneath her on the bed once they were both naked. “You might not have had me figured out, but I knew you were a greedy little whore,” she attacked Jan’s neck with kisses and bites, leaving marks from the base of her jaw to her collarbone. She sat back, straddling Jan’s waist and gently raking her pointed, manicured nails down Jan’s chest.

Jan felt goosebumps spread down her arms, breath hitching in her throat. Gigi’s gaze bore down into her soul, sending electricity coursing through her body. She always found Gigi to be beautiful, she’d always been attracted to her, but something about seeing her at this angle, gazing up at her – she looked ethereal, and Jan couldn’t help but melt under her touch.

Gigi wrapped her hand around Jan’s dick, stroking lazily as she looked around. “I take it you brought lube and a condom?” she asked, only letting go and getting off of Jan so she could retrieve it. “Of course you did, slut,” she smirked and snatched the bottle from her hand. “On your back, legs up and apart.”

Jan laid back, propping pillows behind her to give Gigi an easier angle to work with.

“You’re so pretty like this, on display for me,” Gigi mused as she slicked her fingers up with lube and sat on the back of her legs, positioned between Jan’s thighs. Her free hand kept a steady grip on Jan’s hip as she eased a finger into her, waiting a moment before starting to thrust.

“Fuck…” Jan grunted softly, arching towards Gigi as her eyes fluttered shut.

Gigi landed a firm smack of disapproval on Jan’s inner thigh. “Don’t you take your eyes off of me,” she hissed as she worked in a second finger.

Jan whimpered softly, but kept her head up and eyes on Gigi, which was a sight she really had no complaints about. She gasped out when Gigi twisted her fingers in just the right way. “Fuck, fuck right there.”

“That the spot, baby?” Gigi didn’t wait for an answer before thrusting her fingers against it several times over.

“Yes, yes, fuck, Gigi, please,” Jan panted, all but fucking herself on her fingers.

She smirked, slowing her thrusts to a halt. “Please what?”

“Please fuck me. Fuck, I need your cock, Daddy. Want you to fuck me so hard, I’m still feeling it when you’re on your way back to LA,” Jan was shamelessly vocal with her pleading, already aching for more.

And Gigi looked down at her, listening to the desperation in her tone and, to be honest, she would’ve given her anything in the world. But there was no way she would’ve given Jan the satisfaction of knowing that. Instead, she eased her fingers out and grabbed the condom, tearing it open with her teeth and rolling it down her length.

Jan quietly studied Gigi’s naked form. She didn’t expect such a lithe, little twink to be hung like that. She never noticed on set, most of the time she spent around Gigi, she was thinking about strangling her or tossing her across the room again. Perhaps it was those spiteful feelings that compelled Jan to seek her out – it was the best way to hash out months old tension as far as she was concerned.

And while Gigi’s frustration with Jan had stemmed from something completely different, it didn’t make her desire to fuck Jan senseless any less potent. She grabbed one of the pillows and propped it up under Jan’s back, hooking her legs over her shoulders as well. She carefully lined herself up and pushed in, letting out a quiet stream of curses until she bottomed out.

Jan’s eyes were blown wide with lust, the heat of arousal over taking her. She felt like she was on fire without the slightest urge to put it out. It took a moment for her to realize Gigi was waiting for her to give a sign that she was ready to continue, so she nodded eagerly.

Gigi began thrusting instantly, starting slow at first, but quickly picking up the pace. “Look at you, taking my cock so well. This what you wanted, baby? To get fucked like the dirty little slut you are?” She wasn’t satisfied with Jan nodding, so she grabbed her jaw and leaned in close. “Answer me.”

“Yes! Yes, fuck, it feels so good,” Jan moaned out sharply.

“Good boy,” Gigi hummed and moved back upright, thrusts becoming harder until she was fucking her at a brutal pace that was almost beyond her control. Her hips snapped forward at an almost animalistic speed. She couldn’t get enough, and neither could Jan.

It was when Jan started squirming against her that Gigi decided to pay her more attention. She wrapped her hand around Jan’s cock, her hand still slick from the lube. “Gonna make you come for me, baby doll, gonna have you screaming my name.”

Jan’s moans were already loud and guttural, reminding both of them that Jan did make her living off of vocalizing. “God, fuck, Gigi, I’m so close, gonna come…” But there was a tinge of hesitation.

It hit Gigi after a beat – Jan was waiting for her permission, and the way she had gotten her so utterly submissive made Gigi moan. “Go on, come for me,” she goaded, thrusts slowing down a bit so she could properly watch and appreciate the sight. “God, that’s fucking hot. Gonna make me come,” she murmured, slamming forward a few more times before stopping, an idea forming.

Jan whined softly, but she was still coming down from riding out her orgasm. Still, she looked at Gigi as if to ask, ‘what gives?’.

Instead of a verbal answer, Gigi pulled herself out. She got up to discard the condom and sat back down on the side of the bed. “On your knees,” she said, then snapped, “now.”

Jan pushed herself up and off the bed, sinking down to her knees between Gigi’s legs. She didn’t need any further instruction from there – she took Gigi’s cock into her mouth and began bobbing her head.

Gigi allowed it for a moment before grabbing onto Jan’s hair, which immediately got the other queen’s attention. She began bucking her hips forward, slowly at first, to make sure Jan was okay. And after a nod of approval, she went ahead with fucking her throat.

Perhaps unsurprisingly, Jan had incredible breath control and no gag reflex, so she was able to comfortably stay still while Gigi continued thrusting her dick in and out of her mouth.

When Gigi came, she held Jan’s head in place, moaning out wantonly as she came down her throat, then slowly eased out. She swiped the come dribbling down the side of Jan’s mouth with her thumb and licked it off.

Silence followed for a few moments as Jan pushed herself up and got back on the bed. “Well,” she started, “I guess I was wrong. You’re definitely a top.”

“Mm, say it again,” Gigi cooed. “Wait, actually don’t, hearing you say you were wrong is just gonna get me hard again,” she laughed.

Jan tossed a pillow at her. “You’re a little fucking bitch,” she snorted.

“A little fucking bitch that made you scream,” she corrected, shifting to lay beside Jan. “We’re not going out to the club, are we?”

“Nah,” Jan decided, wrapping her arm around her. “I’ll just listen to you talk about how wrong I was until you’re ready to fuck me again.”

[missjanjie]

Justify My Love | Goodesport

Title: Justify My Love Summary: Gigi and Jan might have butted heads on set a few times, but the one thing that stuck with Gigi was Jan not believing she's a top. So she comes to New York with a secret mission, but Jan might just beat her to the punch. Word Count: 3089 Relationship(s): Goodesport (Gigi Goode x Jan Sport) Rating: E

read on ao3

It had started out as a completely innocuous comment during Untucked. Jackie and Jan had been talking about their time going out to bars and clubs in Manhattan, and more specifically, how Jan approached dating and hooking up when he was single.

“I swear, Jan has like a sixth sense, a bottom superpower or something. She can, without fail, always pick out the tops in a crowd. Sometimes it’s top-leaning verses, but it’s still a talent,” Jackie was saying with Jan nodding happily in agreement.

The other queens looked at her with curiosity. “So what about here? Are your top senses tingling?” Crystal asked curiously.

“Not with you,” Jan retorted with a laugh. “I mean I know Jaida is, I got those vibes from Nicky too, and obviously we have Miss Dom Top Girl Bye over here,” she gestured to Heidi. “Um… Yeah, am I forgetting anyone?”

Gigi cleared her throat pointedly, and Jan looked at her with sincere surprise. “What? Don’t look at me like that. I prefer topping. Is it that surprising?”

Jan strummed her fingers against her glass. “I mean… kinda, especially after I throttled you across the set. Honestly, you give off more ‘bossy bottom’ vibes, like Jackie.”

“Hey!” Jackie chimed in with a laugh.

“You know it’s true,” Jan cooed before redirecting her attention to Gigi. “No but really, if you’re a top, you’re a top. The sixth sense isn't foolproof.”

The conversation tapered off after that, but the whole exchange was stewing with Gigi, who was simply unsatisfied with the result. It shouldn’t have continued to nag at her the way it did. It shouldn’t have still been lingering when they were nearing the end of the last episode. “Do I really give off bottom vibes?” he asked Jackie.

Jackie looked at her, perplexed. In the time since, she’d completely forgotten the exchange until Gigi jogged his memory. “Are you talking about what Jan said?”

“Yeah…”

“I guess I get what she meant. You can sometimes come off a little bratty, could be where she drew that conclusion,” she shrugged. “Is that really still bothering you?”

Gigi shifted uncomfortably. “It’s just that it’s totally inaccurate!” she insisted.

Jackie furrowed her brows. “Why are you so concerned with what Jan thinks?” She studied Gigi’s reaction – the red face, the averted gaze – he only had one conclusion to draw. “Do you… have a crush on Jan?” She didn’t let the younger queen answer. “Oh my god, you do! That’s so cute!” She cupped her face. “Aw, my sweet baby Geege,” she cooed.

Gigi swatted her hands away. “Knock it off, I don’t need that shit spreading around. Doesn’t she have a boyfriend, anyway?”

The enthusiasm immediately left Jackie’s face. She felt bad for not having thought about that, and embarrassed, considering all the double dates they’d been on. “Right, right, sorry. But hey, don’t get too down about it. Stranger things have happened.”

–––

Gigi had thought her feelings would dissipate with time. They weren’t around each other all the time, she was constantly busy. It should be out of sight, out of mind, right? And maybe it might’ve been the case, if it weren’t for the fateful text she got from Jaida one November night.

‘Did Jackie tell you Jan and her boyfriend broke up?’

Of course Jaida found out from Jackie, she thought. ‘No, when did that happen?’

‘A few days ago, Jan’s crashing on Jackie’s couch until she can lock down a new place. Said she’s been busy helping or she’d tell you herself. Apparently it’s important that you know.’

Gigi turned red at that, hiding her face in her pillows and letting out a groan until she could collect herself. ‘Did she say anything else?’

‘Yeah: I told you so’

She rolled her eyes. “I told you so,” she mocked to herself. Leave it to Jackie to be a gossip and a know-it-all. Still, the next thing she did was check her calendar, hoping she would be in New York sometime very soon.

As it turned out, ‘very soon’ ended up being about ten days. And Gigi thought that was enough time, especially if she did decide to do anything. But even though there was a part of her trying to talk himself out of it, the rest of her had been drowned in the same feelings she had on set, and she knew that crush hadn’t dissipated in the slightest.

It didn’t help that most of Jan’s instagram feed was post-breakup thirst trap pictures. It had caught Gigi off guard, but she certainly wasn’t complaining, nor was she planning on deleting the screenshots of those photos from her phone anytime soon. Beyond that, she refused to show even the slightest drop of nerves when she got to New York. She was going to be the confident Gigi Goode everyone knew and nothing less. And she was going to make certain Jan knew exactly how much of a top she was by the time she went back to Los Angeles.

Once in the hotel, Gigi took a quick shower and changed into a clean outfit that was far more fashionable than the sweats and oversized hoodie she’d arrived in. After writing and rewriting a text a few times, she asked Jan if she wanted to go out to a club, and to her relief, she got an enthusiastic ‘yes’ in reply.

Gigi was expecting to meet Jan at the club, but just as she finished getting ready, he got a text from Jan asking for her hotel room number.

“Hey, I missed you!” Jan greeted warmly when Gigi opened the door. She hugged her tightly, liking the way the other queen seemed to melt into his arms.

“I missed you too. How’ve you been?” Gigi asked as she ushered her inside. “You’re all settled into the new place, right?”

Jan nodded, sitting on the edge of the bed. “I have. It’s the first time I’m living alone and… honestly, it’s freeing. It’s nice, but a little lonely,” she admitted.

Gigi nodded and sat beside her. “Well, you won’t be lonely while I’m here. I’m going to annoy you incessantly until you’re ready to dropkick me back to LA,” she nudged him lightly.

“You could never annoy me,” Jan cooed and wrapped an arm around her, pulling her closer. “Well… maybe not never, but I’m still happy you’re here.”

Gigi had forgotten how physically affectionate Jan was, it had been a bit jarring at first. She had grown up with everyone keeping themselves at arms length, and normally that was how she liked things. But Jan was a hugger, a kisser, everything Gigi normally couldn’t stand, but somehow Jan was the exception. “I’m happy I’m here too.”

“And…” Jan pulled back to reach into his bag, “I thought we could do a little pregaming before we go out,” she set the bottle of vodka and cans of soda she’d gotten from the vending machine on the table.

“You’re the best,” she grinned as they fixed themselves drinks. “Cheers, to not being lonely tonight,” and they clinked their plastic cups and took long sips.

Jan took another sip and sat back down. “What’ve you been up to? Still a top?” she teased.

Gigi bit back a grin, this was just the segue she’d been hoping for. “I sure am. Still doubting me?”

“That really stuck with you, huh?” Jan chuckled. “I thought I saw it get under your skin a little bit,” she took Gigi’s hand, swinging it aimlessly. “Not still mad at me, are you?”

“Oh, I was never mad at you,” she assured, then sat straddling Jan’s lap. “But you have to understand that I can’t just let you be wrong like that,” she added, running her fingers through Jan’s hair. All the nerves she had come in with seemed to have vanished, and she let her lust and desire take control of her words and actions.

Jan seemed just as interested, brow raised and arms looped around Gigi’s waist. “Yeah? You’re gonna show me how much of a top you are, Geege?”

Gigi put two fingers under Jan’s chin and tilted her head up. “Honey, that’s only the tip of the iceberg. Is that why you wanted to come here first? Wanted to see if I’d fuck you? There’s no need to play games, you know. You could’ve just asked.”

“But where’s the fun in that?” Jan bat her lashes innocently.

So this was how she was going to play? Gigi smirked, not minding a bit. She grabbed Jan by her shirt and pulled her into a heated kiss. Her tongue slipped past Jan’s lips, swirling and wrestling it in a battle of dominance that she knew she was going to win. When she needed to come up for air, it was never more than a few seconds at a time before she eagerly dove back in, until finally she rested their foreheads together as she caught her breath. “Shit, do you have any idea of all the things I wanna do to you? Wanna fucking ruin you.”

“Please…” Jan’s voice was soft and breathy, but filled with an undeniable need that sent a thrill up Gigi’s spine.

And Gigi simply couldn’t leave it at that. “Please what?”

“Please fuck me, ruin me, take me like I know you’ve wanted to,” the words were spilling out too fast for Jan to realize she had admitted to knowing how Gigi felt about her at first. But she knew Gigi wasn’t one to talk about feelings, so she hoped that would be overlooked.

Gigi was, in fact, more than willing to overlook it. She just kissed Jan deeply, biting her bottom lip and slowly pulling back. “I don’t know how rough you like it, like… Will we need a safe word?”

Jan’s brows rose in interest, her hands splayed across Gigi’s thighs. “That’s exactly the kind of rough I like,” she purred.

“So, what’s your safe word?”

“Madonna.”

“Jan, too soon!”

Jan scoffed in mock offense. “How is it too soon for you?” She then giggled, hiding her face against Gigi’s neck until she could collect herself. “Sorry, sorry. I’ll just tell you to stop.”

Gigi got off of Jan and pushed her down onto the bed. “You’re ridiculous. Take your fucking clothes off.”

“Oooh, yes Daddy,” Jan purred, taking interest in Gigi’s firm tone. But she paused after she took her shirt off, tilting her head. “Or… Mommy?” She looked to Gigi for clarification.

“Doesn’t matter, Daddy’s fine,” she assured, then smirked. “Now go on, Daddy didn’t tell you to stop,” she gestured to the fact that Jan was still dressed from the waist down.

Jan breathed out an apology and quickly stripped down, then pushed herself up to her knees to undress Gigi as well.

“So eager,” Gigi chuckled, lifting her arms up so Jan could take her shirt off. “So desperate to get fucked, aren’t you?” she cooed as she kicked off her jeans and underwear, pinning Jan underneath her on the bed once they were both naked. “You might not have had me figured out, but I knew you were a greedy little whore,” she attacked Jan’s neck with kisses and bites, leaving marks from the base of her jaw to her collarbone. She sat back, straddling Jan’s waist and gently raking her pointed, manicured nails down Jan’s chest.

Jan felt goosebumps spread down her arms, breath hitching in her throat. Gigi’s gaze bore down into her soul, sending electricity coursing through her body. She always found Gigi to be beautiful, she’d always been attracted to her, but something about seeing her at this angle, gazing up at her – she looked ethereal, and Jan couldn’t help but melt under her touch.

Gigi wrapped her hand around Jan’s dick, stroking lazily as she looked around. “I take it you brought lube and a condom?” she asked, only letting go and getting off of Jan so she could retrieve it. “Of course you did, slut,” she smirked and snatched the bottle from her hand. “On your back, legs up and apart.”

Jan laid back, propping pillows behind her to give Gigi an easier angle to work with.

“You’re so pretty like this, on display for me,” Gigi mused as she slicked her fingers up with lube and sat on the back of her legs, positioned between Jan’s thighs. Her free hand kept a steady grip on Jan’s hip as she eased a finger into her, waiting a moment before starting to thrust.

“Fuck…” Jan grunted softly, arching towards Gigi as her eyes fluttered shut.

Gigi landed a firm smack of disapproval on Jan’s inner thigh. “Don’t you take your eyes off of me,” she hissed as she worked in a second finger.

Jan whimpered softly, but kept her head up and eyes on Gigi, which was a sight she really had no complaints about. She gasped out when Gigi twisted her fingers in just the right way. “Fuck, fuck right there.”

“That the spot, baby?” Gigi didn’t wait for an answer before thrusting her fingers against it several times over.

“Yes, yes, fuck, Gigi, please,” Jan panted, all but fucking herself on her fingers.

She smirked, slowing her thrusts to a halt. “Please what?”

“Please fuck me. Fuck, I need your cock, Daddy. Want you to fuck me so hard, I’m still feeling it when you’re on your way back to LA,” Jan was shamelessly vocal with her pleading, already aching for more.

And Gigi looked down at her, listening to the desperation in her tone and, to be honest, she would’ve given her anything in the world. But there was no way she would’ve given Jan the satisfaction of knowing that. Instead, she eased her fingers out and grabbed the condom, tearing it open with her teeth and rolling it down her length.

Jan quietly studied Gigi’s naked form. She didn’t expect such a lithe, little twink to be hung like that. She never noticed on set, most of the time she spent around Gigi, she was thinking about strangling her or tossing her across the room again. Perhaps it was those spiteful feelings that compelled Jan to seek her out – it was the best way to hash out months old tension as far as she was concerned.

And while Gigi’s frustration with Jan had stemmed from something completely different, it didn’t make her desire to fuck Jan senseless any less potent. She grabbed one of the pillows and propped it up under Jan’s back, hooking her legs over her shoulders as well. She carefully lined herself up and pushed in, letting out a quiet stream of curses until she bottomed out.

Jan’s eyes were blown wide with lust, the heat of arousal over taking her. She felt like she was on fire without the slightest urge to put it out. It took a moment for her to realize Gigi was waiting for her to give a sign that she was ready to continue, so she nodded eagerly.

Gigi began thrusting instantly, starting slow at first, but quickly picking up the pace. “Look at you, taking my cock so well. This what you wanted, baby? To get fucked like the dirty little slut you are?” She wasn’t satisfied with Jan nodding, so she grabbed her jaw and leaned in close. “Answer me.”

“Yes! Yes, fuck, it feels so good,” Jan moaned out sharply.

“Good boy,” Gigi hummed and moved back upright, thrusts becoming harder until she was fucking her at a brutal pace that was almost beyond her control. Her hips snapped forward at an almost animalistic speed. She couldn’t get enough, and neither could Jan.

It was when Jan started squirming against her that Gigi decided to pay her more attention. She wrapped her hand around Jan’s cock, her hand still slick from the lube. “Gonna make you come for me, baby doll, gonna have you screaming my name.”

Jan’s moans were already loud and guttural, reminding both of them that Jan did make her living off of vocalizing. “God, fuck, Gigi, I’m so close, gonna come…” But there was a tinge of hesitation.

It hit Gigi after a beat – Jan was waiting for her permission, and the way she had gotten her so utterly submissive made Gigi moan. “Go on, come for me,” she goaded, thrusts slowing down a bit so she could properly watch and appreciate the sight. “God, that’s fucking hot. Gonna make me come,” she murmured, slamming forward a few more times before stopping, an idea forming.

Jan whined softly, but she was still coming down from riding out her orgasm. Still, she looked at Gigi as if to ask, ‘what gives?’.

Instead of a verbal answer, Gigi pulled herself out. She got up to discard the condom and sat back down on the side of the bed. “On your knees,” she said, then snapped, “now.”

Jan pushed herself up and off the bed, sinking down to her knees between Gigi’s legs. She didn’t need any further instruction from there – she took Gigi’s cock into her mouth and began bobbing her head.

Gigi allowed it for a moment before grabbing onto Jan’s hair, which immediately got the other queen’s attention. She began bucking her hips forward, slowly at first, to make sure Jan was okay. And after a nod of approval, she went ahead with fucking her throat.

Perhaps unsurprisingly, Jan had incredible breath control and no gag reflex, so she was able to comfortably stay still while Gigi continued thrusting her dick in and out of her mouth.

When Gigi came, she held Jan’s head in place, moaning out wantonly as she came down her throat, then slowly eased out. She swiped the come dribbling down the side of Jan’s mouth with her thumb and licked it off.

Silence followed for a few moments as Jan pushed herself up and got back on the bed. “Well,” she started, “I guess I was wrong. You’re definitely a top.”

“Mm, say it again,” Gigi cooed. “Wait, actually don’t, hearing you say you were wrong is just gonna get me hard again,” she laughed.

Jan tossed a pillow at her. “You’re a little fucking bitch,” she snorted.

“A little fucking bitch that made you scream,” she corrected, shifting to lay beside Jan. “We’re not going out to the club, are we?”

“Nah,” Jan decided, wrapping her arm around her. “I’ll just listen to you talk about how wrong I was until you’re ready to fuck me again.”

[alyssaiswriting]

Cien

Before you read: This is for @cieloxcnco‘s 1000 followers contest (congrats babe <3) with the prompt/song Cien - CNCO / y es que dudo que el en verdad te amo como yo, y es que no me creo que en orto lugar eres mas feliz de lo que fuiste aqui // 

warning: none

word count: 2562

ALL WORDS IN ITALICS ARE FLASHBACKS

You adjust the strap of your dress for the 100th time since arriving at your cousin's wedding and seeing Zabdiel seated only a few tables down. You can't help but look over at him every once in a while. His hair is dyed blonde again, his curls are growing out and you notice the tiny gold hoops he's wearing.

"Y/n" you don't know how long you're staring but you're snapped out of it by your boyfriend Jeremy. "You okay?" He asks before his eyes follow your gaze. Just then Zabdiel senses a stare. Turning his head his breath hitches in his throat at the sight of you, your hair is different, and that's the first thing he notices. He still stalks your Instagram so when his eyes land on the man beside you he immediately he recalls the post he saw last week of a photo your "boyfriend" took of in front of a window he knew so very well.

----------

It's golden hour, you insisted the window being open to enjoy the view of the sun setting, and with your exposed thighs being lit up by the golden sun Zabdiel can't help but run his fingers along them. Goosebumps raise under his touch making him chuckle.

It's been months since he's been home and though you both have spent the last 3 days in the house catching up, you're still not bored of each other.

Laying in silence on the queen sized bed in nothing but a tank top and underwear, and Zabdiel just in boxers. You're facing your boyfriend whilst he's facing you, your back to the window and the sun on his face.

You grab the hand that is skimming over your thigh, playing with his fingers as you say "your eyes look really pretty right now" you release his hand to lift your hand and cup his cheek running your thumb along his eye bags that have lightened since coming home from tour. His look like pools of honey.

Zabdiel watches you through his dark lashes as your eyes travel across his face, and in that moment he knows he doesn't ever wanna see anyone else laying across from him.

"I love you" the words slip past Zabdiel's lips before he can even think twice. well not exactly twice because he has been thinking about how much he loves you for weeks now.

"I-" you can't even piece together the words too shocked after hearing him say them for the first time.

His hand comes up to capture yours, he brings the palm of your hand to his lips placing a soft kiss there. Your anxiety is calmed by this, and you take in a broken breathe because you know that's exactly what you feel for him but your mouth has lost connection to your brain and the words can't seem to find their way out.

"It's okay if you don't feel-" he starts

"I love you too" you cut him off, his eyes meet yours and you smile softly "I love you so much"

A beautiful smile spreads across his face and you can't help but lean in to connect his lips with yours in a sweet passion filled kiss, Zabdiel doesn't want the moment to end, lifting your leg over his hip to caress your thigh.

----------------

"I'm going to the restroom," you say breaking your gaze away from Zabdiel.

"Okay" is all Jeremy says.

You pull up your dress so you won't trip on it as you walk to the back of the venue. When you enter the hallway that leads to the restroom you sigh in relief when you find it empty, leaning against the wall you take a deep breathe to contain the different amount of emotions you feel from seeing your ex.

Just then the women's bathroom door opens and your cousin, sister of the groom, walks out frowning when she sees you standing there staring at the floor.

"You good sis?" She questions making your head snap up in her direction, you step closer to her "why is Zabdiel here?" You ask Emilia's eyes widen "I told Kevin not to invite him," she says.

"Well obviously he didn't listen"

Emilia starts walking back to the venue when the door opens and Kevin steps out into the hall.

"What's going on Jeremy sent me to look for you" he looks at you then to Emilia "what did i do?"

"You invited him?! When I told you not" Emilia shouts at her brother, you walk over to the two.

"He's my friend"

"She's family!" Emilia snaps.

"I didn't think it would be a big deal they broke up last year"

"8 months" you correct him.

Kevin looks at you, his eyebrows scrunched "wow y/n you need to get over it" your month drops and at the same time you reach out to roughly punch his arm as Emilia punches his gut.

"I loved him you dick" you hiss. "That shit doesn't go away"

"And it doesn't make it easier that your dumbass invited him to an event like this, in his suit looking like a full course meal"

"Emilia shut up" you scrunch your eyebrows.

"Sorry but he does," she says under her breath.

"Disrespectful" Kevin shakes his head at his sister.

"Dude what?! You're the reason we're even having this conversation"

Just then the venue door opens and your aunt, Kevin and Emilia's mom peeks her head into the hall. "Kevin what are you doing in here?! It's time for the dance" she hisses.

Kevin rushes back inside and Emilia takes your hand in hers leading you back in.

You both stand by the door watching as your cousin makes his way to the dance floor with his now wife.

Your heart warms at the sight of their smiling faces as the beautiful ballad plays through the speakers.

As you remain focused on the couple you don't notice that Zabdiel's eyes have found you again, your dress sprinkling from what little light is reflecting off the tiled floor.

You look gorgeous and in that moment he allows himself to pretend like your still his like he could walk over to you right now and take you onto the dance floor.

But his daydream is shattered when he sees Jeremy doing that instead. His heart aches at the sight of you taking another man's hand.

He knows it'll hurt less if he just looked away but he can't seem to force himself to do that. He watches as you two sway along with many other couples on the dance floor.

-------------

"I'm bored," you say, you're at your aunt and uncles 25th-anniversary party that they decided to go all out for, renting a huge venue and a live band. Everyone is dress in formal attire.

"We've here 30 minutes" Zabdiel frowns at you.

"I don't care. This dress is tight" you adjust the waist area that is literally making it hard to breathe. "Plus I didn't even want to come, uncle Jonathan cheated like 5 times this is all just a way for them to show off that they have money" you roll your eyes.

"Ok keep your voice down" Zabdiel looks around to make sure none of your family members heard.

"Eh, they all know it's the truth" you wave off his concern.

"Ok well you look beautiful right now and it was important to your mom that her whole family show up" he reminds you making you sigh.

"I know I know" you nod.

"I'm just bored and annoyed that I literally can't eat in this thing," you say.

Zabdiel frowns at your discomfort. "Ok how about we dance for a good 10 minutes make sure everyone sees you and then we go?" You sigh but nod.

Zabdiel smiles, standing to his feet and extending his hand to you. You happily place your hand in his and he leads you off to the dance floor. Zabdiel, of course, being the best Latino dancer to live, is sweeping you across that dance floor. You smile at his concentration as he watches both your feet. Your family is whistling and cheering you guys on like it's a performance and you two can't help but laugh.

You hear a flash go off and you look up to see your mom smiling widely holding up her phone.

Zabdiel looks over at her smiling and she seizes the moment and takes another picture of you both looking at her.

---------

the photographer for the wedding takes a picture of you and Jeremy and a huge part of Zabdiel is relieved when he notices how fake your smile is.

He finally forces himself to look away, walking over to the bar slash snack booth just as the dance comes to an end.

He orders his favorite beer, the employee informs him that he has to grab more bottles from the back and leaves you to wait.  Zabdiel is looking at the prices of the snacks and doesn't notice when you and Jeremy walk up beside him, you don't notice him either too busy jokingly telling Jeremy he's a horrible dancer.

he only looks over when he hears "I'm going to bathroom real quick" Jeremy kisses your cheek before leaving you to order 2 cokes one for each of you.

You wait patiently for the employee to return when you hear Zabdiel's voice say "you guys looked cute out there" it's obvious sarcasm and your heart beats rapidly in your chest as you turn to look at him, it's weird to see him in person after so long.

His features have sculptured out nicely making him look more like a man than a boy like he use to.

Shocked you don't respond to him right away "I almost didn't recognize your fake smile" he tells you making your frown.

"I wasn't fake smiling" you manage to snap out of your shock.

"Come on y/n I know you better than anyone. You don't like him." He's not looking at you and it only pisses you off more.

"You use to know me Zabdiel" that stings him just like you knew it would. "And I'm very happy with him" You scoff.

Zabdiel turns to look at you now but you've already turned to look straight ahead.

"You didn't smile like that when you were with me. Your smile use to meet your eyes" the purse in your lips drops but you still refuse to look at him.

"That was a long time ago"

"8 months ago"

----------

"Don't walk away from me" Zabdiel shouts after you, his voice is demanding like he's talking to a child and it pisses you off, you turn screaming "or what? What are you gonna do Zabdiel?"

"Just come back inside y/n" he sighs gesturing to the bar behind him that you just stormed out of.

"You always do this" you scoff. "Do what?" He exclaims.

"Belittle my feelings" your walking closer to him but your voice doesn't lower.

"Then tell me why you're mad," he says.

Your eyebrows scrunch together "are you dense? I literally told you I wanted to go like 40 minutes ago, but instead you wanted to stay and talk to her"

"Lower your voice" he hisses stepping closer to you.

"Fuck off" you spit

"She's a fan y/n and we were having a nice conversation" he ignores you cursing at him.

"I haven't seen you in 4 months" you squint "if you think conversations with her are so interesting then just go back inside and go home with her" you turn to leave but Zabdiel grabs your wrist.

"I just wanted to have a good time and hang out with my friends." He tells you, you try to tug your wrist away but he doesn't loosen up.

"Then go back inside and let me go" you finally push his hand off of you and storm away, of course, Zabdiel follows after you.

---------------

You finally look to Zabdiel who's already staring back you, his brown eyes soft yet full of so many emotions.

"Here you go sir" the employee comes back with Zabdiel's beer, Zabdiel turns to him, handing him a five and when he turns back to you he finds the spot beside him empty.

Turning his head he sees the back of your dress disappear into a crowd.

-----------

"Don't do this" Tears form in Zabdiel's eyes as he stares at the woman he thought he was gonna marry one day.

"I can't anymore, I'm so-" your voices cuts out and you clear your throat. "I'm tired of being alone all the time and only getting you for a couple of days at most of the month" you cry.

"Please y/n" he steps towards you but you immediately step away from him shaking your head.

"I can't" you repeat.

"I love you" He sounds broken and it takes everything in you to not just apologize and take him into your arms.

"I love you too, and I just want you to be happy," you say.

"I am happy! I'm happy with you"

You shake your head "but I'm not" Zabdiel face falls from sad to hurt "I'm not happy" you whisper "I'm tired of being alone all the time, I'm tired of seeing videos of you with girls in the club-" Zabdiel tries to cut you off but you raise your hand "I know that's not serious but Zabdiel I need someone who is gonna be around for me" you pause "we don't even know if we'd even work out if you weren't away so long. The second we settle into a rhythm you leave to another state and this isn't healthy for a relationship"

"Please" he tries to beg but you've made up your mind.

"This is your life, and I thought I could handle it but it's been 3 years and I-" you cute yourself off swallow a lump in your throat. "I can't keep pushing how shitty I feel aside just because I love you."

-----------

Zabdiel watches as Jeremy slips off his blazer throwing it over your shoulder as you both wait for the valet to bring his car around.

You sense someone's gaze on you and you're not surprised when you look over your shoulder to find Zabdiel leaning against the wall by the entrance.

You both remain staring at each other, Zabdiel wants to tell you how much he still loves you and how you don't belong with Jeremy because you belong with him.

You want to tell Zabdiel how much you will always love him but neither of you move. When Jeremy leads you to the car you look away as you get into the passenger seat.

You turn back to look at him one final time as Jeremy gets into the driver seat. Zabdiel can't read your face, he never could when you didn't want him to but he already knows how you feel.

So he turns and walks back into the venue. It hurts him more then anything but if this is what you want then he respects that.

He knows he will never stop loving you and the amount of love he feels for you will never be matched by anyone you give your heart too, no matter how hard you look, his love for you was the best.

---------

AN

so this was also inspired by Someone Great on Netflix like with all the flashbacks 

I hope you enjoyed this 

now it’s time for me to sleep bc it’s so late, I'm actually embarrassed to say how late it is 

[slutforalistairtheirin]

The Proud and the Prejudiced. (Logince)

Inspired by: https://mayflowers07.tumblr.com/post/186222058356/yall-wanna-hear-an-angsty-prompt-i-just-came-up

Roman

It feels good to be able to push my parents out of my head for today. A lot of people my age hate school.  For me, it’s probably the only place I can be myself. People accept and love me for who I am. Hell, this school even has an annual pride fest. We hold it on the football field. We get to carry flags and paint our faces. It’s really awesome, honestly.

Every year, my friend Grace drags me around to each event. I preferred to spend my time eyeballing the football players, but that raging lesbian does not understand. Her exact words are always: “Jocks aren’t even your type, Roman. You’re into the nerds.” I always shake my head and pout in response.  She doesn’t have to be so right all the time. 

Today, she immediately dragged me to the face painting booth. She goes first, so I have time to really soak in the event. As I look around, I notice Logan- the guy I’ve had a crush on since seventh grade- who also happens to be the yearbook’s event photographer- taking pictures.  He looks absolutely breathtaking today. The fancy camera hanging around his neck, his slender hands adjusting his glasses, the gentle breeze blowing through those soft, brown locks of hair- OH SHIT HE’S COMING OVER HERE.

My thoughts were immediately interrupted when he walked over to ask if he could take a picture of Grace’s face paint.  She happily accepts. 

“My only condition is that Roman is in the picture too.” She shoots a subtle wink at me, seeing my face turn pink. 

“Oh- um- okay-” I don’t really have time to consider it. Logan smiles and nods, Grace grabs my arm and yanks me over to her, and Logan snaps the picture. 

Throughout the rest of the festival, I can only think about Logan’s smile. 

-

I get home after school and quickly run to the bathroom.  My parents aren’t home yet, so I have time to wash off all the glitter and face paint. I splash cold water on my face and rub until my skin turns red. After, I go to my room and tuck my rainbow flag, socks, and sunglasses under my bed. Just in time, too. 

I hear the front door slam and my dad’s work boots stomp in.  He’s yelling about something. My mom’s heels click softly on the hardwood floor, barely audible over his shouts. 

“They have NO BUSINESS subjecting our Lord and Savior to displays of perverse “affection” to the same sex! It’s blasphemous! It’s wrong! Those parents have failed. Entertaining the idea that it’s okay? Those kids need to be taken away from them and given a proper beating.” 

I bite my lip.  I should be used to this by now.  I hear his boots clomping down the hall towards my room, so I quickly shut off the lights and pretend to be asleep. There’s no way in hell I can deal with this today. He swings the door open and I flinch, squeezing my eyes shut and facing away from him. 

“Oh.” He mutters. “Long day I suppose.  I’ll wake you up for dinner.” He shuts the door behind him. 

It really was a long day. After a few minutes, I drift off into a light sleep. 

‘You disgust me, do you hear? You disgrace our family and you’re breaking your mother’s heart! GET OUT!’ 

My body shakes and tears spill down my face.

‘You’re my dad! You’re supposed to love me no matter what!’ I shout back at him. 

‘I don’t have a son anymore.’ He says, an ice cold tone lacing his voice. He raises his hand and-

“Roman, sweetie! Time for dinner!” My mom knocks on the door.  I sit straight up and bed and try to level my breathing.  I wipe the tears from my face and send Virgil a text.  Besides Grace, Virgil is my best friend.  He knows how to calm me down because he suffers from severe anxiety, too.  The only difference is that his dad is accepting.  

Emoxx: Hey princey, what’s up?

Royal Pain: Bad dream. You know the one. 

Emoxx: Oh baby I’m sorry, do you need to call?

Royal Pain: Can’t, dinner. I just need to calm down. 

Emoxx: Okay, what do you need from me?

Royal Pain: Can you come over tonight? It’s a Friday, my parents won’t care. 

Emoxx: Sure thing, love.  I’ll be there in an hour.  We can eat junk food and talk about boys. <3

I smile and shut my phone off.  Virgil always knows how to make things better. I get off my bed and go to my kitchen, where my  parents are waiting. My mom smiles when she sees me and my dad barely acknowledges me. Sometimes I wonder if my dad weren’t in the picture, if my mom would be accepting.  Maybe she’s just scared of him.  I guess I’ll never know. 

“Hey mijo, how was school? You seemed real tuckered out.  Long day?” Mom asks. She could do so much better than my dad. I mean, my mom looks like she came straight out of a fairytale. Smooth olive skin, perfectly wavy, chestnut colored hair, gorgeous brown eyes.  I don’t know how he won her over. 

“Yeah, mama. Lots of tests.” My memory flicks back to Logan taking the picture of Gracie and I. Lots of tests indeed. My dad doesn’t like when my mom and I speak Spanish, so we stopped trying to avoid his daunting stare. Sometimes, she manages to sneak little words in there and blames it on habit. I still don’t understand why she married him. “Oh, Virgil is coming over tonight.  I hope that’s okay.” 

“Virgil! Oh save him some chicken, amor, he’s so skinny.” My mom says, already standing up to put some in the microwave for him. 

“Virgil, huh.  Is that the little emo kid? Are you sure he’s not a homo? He seems a little fruity to me.” He always finds the best ways to ruin my mood.  “Dad, that’s kind of rude.” I say, before I can stop myself. Thankfully, I find a way to save it before I get yelled at. “I mean. it’s rude to insinuate that I would be friends with someone.. of that orientation.” The words sting to say, the feel like poison in my throat. 

My dad nods. “Good.” 

I don’t really have an appetite, so I nibble on a few things and then I put my plate in the microwave with the one my mom made for Virgil.  

“I’m gonna... go clean up my room a bit before Virgil gets here.” My room is actually perfectly tidy, but I don’t want to be in the same room as the devil himself anymore. 

As soon as I get back to my room, I lay down and think about the good memories of today. I think about Logan.  I think about how cute he looks with that camera. I think about all the good pictures from today.  I think about how they’ll be posted on the school instagram. 

Wait a second. 

They’ll be posted on the school instagram. 

The one that my parents follow.

The one that my dad follows. 

There’s no way they can see the pictures of me.  Dad might actually kill me. Like, he will tear me limb from limb and put my head on a fence post outside. I start to panic. I can’t breath, I can’t think, I barely even notice when Virgil opens my bedroom door. 

“Woah, Roman, breath.” Virgil kneels beside the bed, forcing me to look at him. He takes my hands and breathes with me. “Everything is okay, everything will be okay.  You just have to breath.” Once my breathing slows down, he sits on the bed beside me, still holding one of my hands. “Do you want to tell me what happened?” 

I tell him everything.  I tell him all about today, about Logan, about the pictures, about the instagram, about my dad, and about my dream. He nods and listens the whole time. He also cracks a smile when I tell him what my dad said about him. 

“What if we just message the school’s instagram? I’m sure they won’t post them if we explain why.” Virgil offers a suggestion. 

“If they haven’t posted them already, that might work.” I pull my phone out of my pocket and open instagram. I start typing out a message to the school’s account. 

RomanPrincexo: Hi, sorry to bother, but I was at the pride fest today and I just thought that there might have been some pictures taken of me.  I was hoping to ask that you don’t post them. My parents are raging homophobes and I could be in very big trouble if they saw. 

LincolnHighOfficialInsta: Hey Roman! Thank you for voicing your concerns.  Any pictures that might have you in them will not be posted.  Your safety is of utmost importance.

RomanPrincexo: Thank you <3.  You have no idea how much that means to me. 

LincolnHighOfficialInsta: It’s no problem.  I’m sorry about your parents, that really sucks. 

RomanPrincexo: Oh, I’m used to it. 

LincolnHighOfficialInsta: You shouldn’t have to be.  You’re a great person, you don’t deserve the way that.

RomanPrincexo: Thank you, but if it wasn’t me, it would be someone else. 

LincolnHighOfficialInsta: No one deserves that.  Just know that you’re loved. 

“Hey Virge?” 

“Yeah?”

“Who runs the school instagram?” 

Virgil wrinkles his nose. “I’m not sure.  It’s rumored that it could be Mr. Sanders, the drama teacher.  Or Logan. Or possibly Valerie.  No one is for sure, though. Why?” 

I show Virgil the messages and a look appears on his face.  I can’t quite place my finger on it before he takes out his phone and starts typing.  His poker face is terrible, so when he grins that mischievous little grin of his, I know immediately that he’s up to something.  I try to look at what he’s doing but he sits on his phone. 

“Nope! No peeking!” He giggles.  “Just keep messaging.” There’s something in his eyes that I can’t read. I shake my head and turn back to my phone. 

RomanPrincexo: I appreciate it. I was wondering, who runs this account? 

LincolnHighOfficialInsta: I’m not supposed to tell. 

RomanPrincexo: Oh, okay. 

LincolnHighOfficialInsta: Maybe I’ll break some rules for you later, though. ;) 

RomanPrincexo: It’s okay, I don’t want you to get into any trouble. 

LincolnHighOfficialInsta: I won’t, trust me.  I have the whole school board in my back pocket.  They adore me. Do you still need to talk about anything?

Something in me makes me trust this mystery person.  It could be Mr. Sanders, or Logan, or Valerie.  Either way, what’s the harm in venting a little? I trust all of them. 

RomanPrincexo: Actually, kind of.

LincolnHighOfficialInsta: I’m all ears. 

I end up spilling all of it to them, maybe skipping over the part about Logan, just in case.  I do mention him, but not with the same wording I used for Virgil. After that, I shut my phone off and give them time to really read it and turn back to Virgil. 

“I’m safe.” I tell him. 

He smiles. “Good.  My dad says you can come home with me tomorrow, by the way. So you can have a break from your parents.” 

I love Virgil’s dad. He’s super sweet and kind of young. He has light brown hair and large, round glasses.  He has freckles all across his face.  Honestly, I wish I could just move in with them. 

“Awesome, I will.”

“Hey, are we going to the debate tournament tomorrow? Logan’s in it.” Virgil smirks. 

Obviously Logan’s in it.  He’s the smartest guy in our school.

“Do I have to watch Dee and Remus flirt with him the whole time again?”

Virgil chuckles. “More like flirt at him. He always ignores them, remember?” 

“Okay, fine. We can go.”

---

Logan

The message from Roman is heartbreaking. I’m honestly considering telling him that it’s me, just so I can offer more comfort.  I don’t know why it’s so hard for me to express my feelings for him.  Every time I see him, the words bubble up in my mouth like boiling water, ready to spill over.  When I finally go to say them, they stop boiling. 

If the best I can do for him is be anonymous, then so be it. I type out a supportive message and a quick goodnight, and then I shut my phone off and go to bed.  I have a debate tournament tomorrow and an unbeaten streak to keep up.

---

Roman

“Virge hurry up!” 

“Roman, these boots take time to lace up! You just want to see your true love!” 

“It’s not my fault you dress like a 2000s MySpace emo.”

“As if you don’t dress like a wannabe Broadway star?” 

“I am a wannabe Broadway star, thank you very much.”

“Yeah whatever. Let’s go.” 

We started walking to the school, where the debate tournament was conveniently being held. We arrived just in time to see Logan getting out of his car.  He spots us and waves. 

My heart does somersaults, but on the outside I just smile and wave back. To our surprise, instead of going inside, he walks over to us.  Well, to my surprise, at least.  Virgil seemed to be expecting it.  In fact, he just kept walking, leaving me alone with Logan. He shoots me a wink before going inside. 

“Hey Roman, can I talk to you?” 

I can feel my heart threatening to break through my ribs. “Yeah, sure. What’s up?” I manage to get out, even though I can feel my lungs struggling to hold oxygen. 

He smiles that damn smile. “I just wanted to make sure you were okay. You seemed pretty worried yesterday.” He must have seen the confused look on my face, because he continued after a moment. “Oh, I guess I should clarify.  I run the school’s instagram account.” 

“You- you do?” He nods. “Yeah. I’m alright.  Just a bit of a scare, I suppose. I appreciated your help, though.” I’m very upset with the sun for making my blushing face perfectly visible. 

“It was no problem.  I care about you.” There’s something different in his smile now.  Something I can’t name. 

“I- uh- I care about you too.” Why must I be so nervous around him?

“I don’t think you understand what I meant.” He steps closer to me and I lock eyes with him. Those beautiful, beautiful eyes. 

“What did you mean?” I can’t prevent my eyes from wandering around his face and eventually falling on his lips. He’s close enough that I can feel his breathing now.

“I meant-” He pauses, I can almost hear the gears turning in his brain.  It seems like he’s trying to find the right words. He shakes his head. “Is this okay?” He cups my face with one of his hands and all I can manage to do is nod. “I meant that I love you, Roman.” He finally forces the words out.  

My jaw falls open and I take a deep breath. “You... do? I mean- I mean I love you too! You’re serious right? This isn’t a joke?” 

“No, it’s not a joke.  Can I prove it to you?” 

I’m not sure what he means by that, but I nod anyway. 

He leans down and kisses my gently, his free hand finding its way to my hips.  My eyes flutter shut and I kiss him back.  It’s a little bit awkward at first, since I’ve never kissed anyone.  We figure it out after a moment or so, though. His lips are soft and they feel perfect against my own. He smells like cinnamon and vanilla, and something herbal. His hand softly caresses my face and he pulls away.  He gently leans his forehead against mine, both of us breathing heavily. 

“So, do you believe me?” He whispers, amused. 

“I do.”

---

Gosh. this was longer than I intended.  Honestly, I’m really proud of it.  It’s making me feel things in my heart. I also kind of made Logan suaver than I meant to, but I think it’s fine. 

@mayflowers07

[avaquet]

Twins: A Blast to the Past

Another that should’ve been posted to the day 2 prompt list, hehe whoops. Thanks for dealing with my late shenanigans XD

EDIT: added picture, meant to for these but I kept forgetting when I uploaded 😅

Familial relationship between Sara and Scott, this one is the effect on how looking through an old photo album has on their current relationship. Another shortie, being honest I had a hard time being creative with this one.

Scott scared the hell out of me when he landed an old photo album on my chest and woke me up. “Look what I found!” He said. “It’ll be fun!” He said.

“Scott!” I yelled. “You know you can’t do that shit anymore! Fight or flight instincts, remember? Does changed ring any bells?”

He frowned, “Oops. Old habits are hard to break, ya know?”

“Fucking, hell.” I laid back down in hopes my heart would stop panicking. I put one arm over my face. “Wait, what’s so important to wake me up like that?” I grunted.

I felt him sit on the bed beside me. “Old photo album. Like a traditional one. Not just some documents saved on a datapad or disk. Physical pictures.” He took it off of my chest before the sheets caused it to slide off. “And best part is, it’s Dad’s. Like, not even past generations in this one. Just, our family. He wanted a physical copy of these, I guess.”

I slowly opened my eyes back up, “Like the ones I found in his helmet?”

“Yeah.” He opened the album. “Wanna look?”

I responded by sitting up and looking over his shoulder. “It’s a bit bigger than I would’ve thought.”

He snorted and I smacked his arm. “Yeah yeah, still twelve.”

“We all are.”

The pictures weren’t old and tattered as if they were vintage. They were all maintained very well and look as if they were taken just yesterday. It went in chronological order, like Dad had gotten it before we were born. Each picture had a caption under it, too. “He really spent time on this, huh?” Scott said.

“Yeah.” I sighed. “I guess it’s the best you can do if you’re high ranking in military and always away from home. See how most of this says taken by Ellen?”

Scott grunted, “He could’ve left and came home. It wasn’t like we weren’t desperate for money. Mom had a stable job.”

Scott, as time went on, started to resent Dad. “Why did you join the military, Scott?”

He huffed and sighed. “I… I wanted to go on adventures, like Dad. But, I didn’t have a family to take care of.”

“Family isn’t a one man’s responsibility, Scott. And Dad did it more than just adventuring, he was saving thousands of lives. Hell, he made this. And SAM to try and save Mom. He cared a lot for us.”

“He has a damn funny way of showing it. Besides, I thought you were mad at him?”

“I am.” I confessed. “But, I can’t help but try and understand why he did things.”

“This is why I’m concerned for you.” Scott sighed. “Dad was toxic.”

“How?” I interrupted.

“He pressured you into trying to join the military, Sara. Remember when he got so mad that you refused? The absolute guilt trip he put you through? The way he lied to us about Mom, and disobeying Mom’s wishes by bringing her here? You were so pissed off he made you Pathfinder, that it was illogical.”

“I still am. I see what you’re saying, and I know he’s done bad but-”

“But what?” He gave off a frustrated chuckle. “You wouldn’t know toxicity if you drank poison.”

“Let me finish, Scott.” I raised my voice. “Trying to understand someone doesn’t necessarily mean I forgive or condone their actions. I’m curious and I just want to know why.”

“How long will you subject yourself to that kind of treatment just to answer that question?”

You seem to mimic a lot of what you hated in Dad, despite you spending your whole life away from home and from him, ironically that’s exactly what Dad did too… I sighed. Don’t say it, Sara. “Fine, you win. Can we just...look at the album now?”

He seemed pleased and agreed. “Though, I’m still concerned for you. It’s why I kept questioning Jaal.”

“Pictures, Scott. Look! Family shot. All of us in a professional photo shoot. Mom looks so happy.” I nudged him.

“I hope we can get her cured, soon.” He turned the page. “Our first cat. Hah! Lookie, it’s Echo as a kitten. And you bottle feeding her.”

I chuckled. “She was like my familiar.”

“We all knew that.”

The album brought up mostly happy and fond memories, though most of them not having Dad seemed to fuel Scott’s disdain for him more. Which, made the positive side of me escape into the void. “Hey, Scott, can we finish this later? I’m getting really tired, and I need to rest before we take off.” Not really, but, I was emotionally tired.

He closed the album. “Yeah, sure. I should probably get back to the Hyperion, anyways.”

Scott left with the album, even though leaving so abruptly felt empty and awkward. I noticed since he woke up from his coma that there have been changes in the both of us. Mainly me, and I’m not sure if I’m to blame for the distance we’re experiencing. I’m not sure if we will be as close as we once were. Hopefully closer after all of this is through. These are harsh and trying times, we’re all on edge. Not even happy family photos brought us out of a more harsh mood. If I don’t deal with the distance between Scott and I, then we will remain distant forever. If I do deal with it, well, we deal with it, then there’s just a chance that the gap will close. I guess I could try and close the gap, but I see so many parallels between him and Dad, and he keeps telling me Dad is, well, was toxic. Maybe I don’t know? I love Scott, and maybe he doesn’t truly know he’s acting this way? I sighed and threw myself back down on the bed. I’m confused.

[materialgirlsfanfic]

CHAPTER 10 - Affordable Prices To Pay...(Pt. 2)

KADEN

“She dealin’ with some issues that you can’t believe...Single black female addicted to retail. And well...” - KANYE WEST X ALL FALLS DOWN

Circling the block once more, his frustration grew now killing the engine, that softly purred; it took more than two weeks to build up the courage, but he found himself in front of her building wheeling back and forth within his thoughts to escape the scene, or stay.

“Fuck this shit.” He thought it best to leave out of the ridiculousness he now felt. Unbeknownst to him, the person he was in search for casually watched from a distance amused. Right at this moment for the possibility of getting his ass handed to him with verbal assaults she was good for, was Jordan walking towards his car.

“You wanna move before you get a ticket mothafucka?”

“Shit! Jorda-...” He exhaled placing a hand over his heart.

“You can’t park here nigga…” Damn she got some little ass feet. He zoomed focus on her crisp white Nike Air Forces, and trailed up to the skin tight orange body suit that hugged her petite frame. The vintage red and orange Nike windbreaker to compliment her athleisure attire, concealed the throb causing assets: huge breasts.

“I’m straight. Listen, I need to talk to you.”

“That’s still up for questioning honestly, what you want Kaden? I got shit to do. I’m not up for your bullshit.”

“What are yo-...why is your mouth so fuckin’ reckless? Like, what’s good with you?”

“So you- okay.” She quickly did an About Face headed for the crosswalk, leaving Kaden dumbfounded momentarily until he eventually stepped out his truck hitting his alarm and followed.

“Yo! Jordan, man!”

“Nigga you either catch the fuck up, or I’ll see you later!”

He didn’t do shit like this, and technically he couldn’t. Gaining notoriety and recognition from his blessing of being a second year Wide Receiver in the NFL came with its perks, and downfalls. People actually noticed him now. And not in the pedestrian way either. He signed his third autograph this week for a five year old, who told him he was his biggest fan, and that one day he wanted to be just like him. Fans. He winced at the poor little boy wanting to be like the critically acclaim asshole, with a horrific track record to match. He shook the apprehension off seeing the subway entrance come to view in which Jordan speedily descended. He didn't take the subway. I don't have to. He never explained himself to anyone aside from the very few he held in high regards. There's no reason to. And certainly he never chased after a female especially in the physical sense because he never felt the urge to. This is just...

His eyes scattered about the congested space, in search for some breathing room and a bright orange jacket with the signature Nike emblem. Shoving her way through a boisterous crowd of prep school students he could see was Jordan stepping onto the train. He shoved his way through and searched for a space to squish in. Conveniently it was close to her, as they stood side by side latching on the standee seething. The abrupt smell of funk, and her antics he had just about enough of. Kaden didn't understand how or when the dynamics of whatever relation one would call this, got so conflicting. How he couldn't stand her so intensely. They were way past grade school spats, or any juvenile issues that any guy had with their best friend’s little sister. But as easy as it was to provoke, and get a rise out of her it was hard to deny the real reason why. They silently stared at each other, until she eventually sucked her teeth looking off.

“You so damn hollywood. What? You afraid the act of the common folk will rub off? Hm?” As Kaden grimaced feeling a sweaty arm collide on his skin for the fourth time, he looked down at her beyond annoyed. Blame it on hypochondria and slight claustrophobia, he couldn’t endure for too long even if it was the latter.

“You don’t know shit about me.”

“I know you’re full of shit...I know that. I know whatever it is you have to say would be utter bullshit too, so you shouldn’t even waste me or your time.” She shoved him off as they continued bumping into each other with each sway the subway was causing.

“You got a stick so far up your ass, nobody can get through to you.”

“Good. I like it that way.”

“Where the fuck you got me goin’ Jo?”

“Got you goin’!?” She hissed, attempting to whisper but failing miserably. “ Nigga you hopped your happy ass on here, I didn't force you to follow me!” A lady in earshot, Kaden could spot in his peripheral, shifted in her seat following the clear of her throat as she continued looking ahead. Damn. We're really doing this...in public.

“It's that hard though!? For you to just open your fuckin’ mouth and spit it ou-” More eyes shifted in their direction, causing Kaden to grit his teeth as Jordan maneuvered to the exit to get off finally as they came to a stop. She jetted up the stairs and walked up 135 street. For several blocks they dwelled in silence. Him attempting to keep up with her swift steps and glares with an occasional reminder that he didn’t have to follow her. But he wasn’t budging. I came this damn far anyway. They reached the Harlem Hospital Center, and immediately Kaden grew confused and concerned. Slowly turning his way, Jordan folded her lips in. Her eyes closing before bringing her hands clasp in a prayer motion to her lips.

“Don’t say shit you hear me? Just stay...stay your ass in the background.” They entered as she went towards the front desk greeted by a nurse. “Hi uh...I-I’m here to visit one of your patients.”

LONDON

“Ouch, Milan! Shit!”

“Keep your damn head still, then. Big ass head.”

It's worth it. The woven lines of strings crisscrossed and zigzagged through her masterpiece of a braided beehive, truly was. London didn't trust her brother to be her landline if she secured a spot on Who Wants To Be A Millionaire. Or have the expectation from him that he will ever arrive at any place on time. But Miles ‘Milan’ Pierre if not anything knows hair. Even to much of their father’s dismay, having a secured hairstylist for every recital, every fashion show, and event was much of a blessing and for him a curse.

The moment his son traded a football for a hot comb, the soured hope of doom courtesy of Monty Pierre was placed. Where he shunned Miles total existence, only acknowledging his presence when it suited him, and was forced to at any social gathering. As Milan would put it: “Some just can't take the fabulousness even if the DNA is shared.”

So it was important to affirm through every tug, rip, and yank that the flawless honey blonde tresses of virgin Malaysian hair was worth it. Milan allowed the flat irons and comb glide through the tresses, before fluffing out the ends. Silky.

“Don't trim shit either. l want all 28’’ inches of lush down to the crack of my ass.”

“Yeah, I know...cause you're extra. And you bitches think I'm about to be doing the same hair twice every two weeks too, huh? Ha! Think again. Call Brooklyne and tell her little ass she has an hour to get here. And I wants my bag.” The rat tail comb was directed towards her nose. His eyes squinting looking down at her. 

“Alright mighty mouth Milan, sheesh.” She pushed the comb away, while typing a text to Brooklyne. Like always his false promises went in one of London’s ears where a princess cut stone from Cartier could be found and out the other as she typed away, and hissed at another yank of the sewing string.

“So...Kiersten. Heard from her?”

“Yup.”

“Really, now? How long ago was this?”

“Two days ago.” Short, clipped, and sweet. He ain’t slick. London wasn't too fond of Kiersten recent choices, in fact she despised them. With her association of Imani’s brother being one of them, and her recent disappearing acts being a close second. It didn't take Einstein to figure he had to be the one occupying her time if it wasn't herself, and Brooklyne especially with her keeping it short with them both. But the secrecy was Kiersten’s way of ducking and diving from London’s typical interrogations.

“You know London Bridge…” Here we go. “As your favorite brother on this dreading universe…”

“Nigga you're my only brother.”

“Shit as far as we know.” London sneered up in his direction watching him through the mirror. “...I know you wouldn't, of course, keep secrets from me would you? Like, you shouldn't...it would totally go against sibling code.”

“There's nothing to tell, Milan.”

“Hmph. So riddle me this…”

Milan held a picture in her direction posted on E! news. There in a grainy picture was a snapshot of Messiah and Kiersten leaving Rime sneaker boutique in Brooklyn. The caption identifying them as the daughter of Supermodel legend with an unidentifiable specimen of a hottie. Oh, heavens...

“...yeah, hoe. And you were sayin’?”

-----------

“This incognito...ass...bitch.”

Brooklyne spat while gawking at Kiersten crossing the street heading in their direction. Huddled as a duo at the signature rustic tables, London hoped that a frappe courtesy of Maman Coffee, would aid in settling the trauma ahead. She reckoned Kiersten even looked the part of a person not wanting to be seen or acknowledged. Frames concealing the majority upper region of her face, so big twice they were pushed up at the nose bridge. A huge scarf to shield the cold, and from what London could also see, provide some form of warmth to make up for Kierstens icy demeanor. She finally took a seat setting her huge crimson Celine duffle on the adjacent seat.

“Hey.”

“Kiersten where have you-” Brooklyn raised her hand halting London as she interjected.

“What’s up mama, how’re you? Where you comin’ from?”

“Just left my only class for the day. But I’m fine...why? What’s so urgent?” She typed away on her cellular device ever so casually. London raised a brow, and dipped forward fighting away a scowl.

“Listen, Ki. I want you to know that not only do we love you, we're here for you through any, and everything. You do know that right?”

“Why wouldn’t I Brooklyne?”

“Well, jee Kiersten maybe your absenteeism could be a clue?” Even the huge shaded lenses couldn’t shake London’s stare she could see Kiersten fidget under. It’s truly never her intentions to ever come off condescending...well half of the time admittedly so, but London just couldn’t help herself. Kiersten could just be so...dense.

“London!”

“What, Brooklyne!?”

“As I was saying...we love you. So you shutting us out makes no sense. Like what’s really the matter?”

When they scheduled the mock “conference”, intervention in the words of London, a “simple girl talk to get to the bottom of the issue” to Brooklyne, they didn’t expect for it to go like this. Especially foodless with a flat frappe she reckoned to add insult to injury. Why was she being so defensive? For the life of her London couldn’t figure it out. Cute shades or not.

“Can you tell your sister not to bore holes into me like I’m some nutcase, or freakshow.”

“Brooklyne can you tell your friend that she should acknowledge me cause I am sitting right the fuck here, and maybe I’m staring at her cause she's avoiding eye contact?!

“You bitches are going to drive me to drink. And it’s only 11a-fuckin’-m! Please, alright? Kiersten real shit, though? Take the damn glasses off! I don’t know what kind of super duper spy shit you got goin�� on, and London pipe it the fuck down cause you’re doing a lot at a smooth eight, bring it down to like a three. I know it’s finals, and the end of the semester is approaching but, damn!”

“She’s just so judgy! I get enough of that from Fiona, from my professors, from everyone. The one person I don’t need it from is the person I should be confiding in the most; my best friend! And then when I find someone that doesn’t do those things...that respects me, and my opinions, acknowledge my efforts, and furthermore doesn’t treat me like a child? That’s a problem too!”

Silence. For a lengthy two minutes that followed a sniffle, and finally the removal of those big ass frames that presented liquid duds pouring in droplets of two. Brooklyn immediately reached over and wiped her face, causing London to feel slightly shitty.

“I just worry about you Ki, and want what’s bes-”

“Want what’s best for me. Yes, I’m always hearing that you, but your opposition to my wants, doesn’t warrant judgement. Cause you’re not always right.” An obnoxious sound of intense suction came from Brooklyn’s straw, as she sipped her iced tea and divided her gaze amongst the two.

“Hmph. Well isn’t this tea just lovely?” She muttered. London, cut her eyes at her before refocusing them back on Kiersten.

“Okay, so this is about Messiah? Alright, fine. If you like it? Then I love it...so be it then Ki.”

“No, London...Messiah is just the half. I need you and everyone else? To realize that I’m grown. So the next time my mother or your father goes around looking for me, tell them just that.” She pushed her seat back grabbing her shades, and bag.

“Kiersten! Really!?” The duo watched as she stepped on to the street hailing a taxi, that came in such perfect timing one would've thought it was planned.

[simptasia]

my “richard is daniel’s biological dad” theory is one of my oldest headcanons (it’s the third post on my lost headcanons tag, and it was made 4 years ago) and since i’ve just rewatched season 5, it’s fresh in my mind, so i wanna elaborate

warning: quite a bit of elaboration

in canon, daniel is the son of eloise hawking and charles widmore (and the half brother of penny widmore and the brother-in-law of desmond hume).

fun fact about me, i’ve studied genetics since i was a child. the x-men movies inspired me to do so. however, even people who are unread about the subject can see that daniel faraday doesn’t resemble any member of his family

ellie and charles have blue eyes. daniel has brown eyes. there’s a bunch of other differences but this is what stands out to me. this is what started my theory. i can forgive daniel being american, that’s something that can actually happen. and yes, a brown eyed child of two blue eyed parents can actually happen. it’s very rare, but possible. if i encountered this in real life, i’d assume that it’s a throwback from a brown eyed ancestor. HOWEVER, this is fiction. its different.

this is all due to casting choices being made a season before character choices (if daniel was cast right he’d be british, blue eyed, round faced and actually played by a 26 year old. however that means no jeremy davies and lemme tell you, good can be better than right. so we are to accept what we are given)

upon the discovery that ellie is an other, indeed she was the leader of the others, that meant she worked closely with richard alpert. richard is advisor to the other’s leader (on a side note, he also picks who becomes the leader)

it started as “richard is her advisor, he has brown eyes, a stronger jawline, and he’s attractive enough for ellie to want him so this makes sense”

seeing more of season 5 (in particular, the variable and follow the leader), it made more sense to me. richard and ellie get along better than ellie and charles. they come across like they care about each other. richard in particular, seems to genuinely respect her more than charles does. he’s also very protective

in canon, this protectiveness can be chalked up to ellie being pregnant. and in general, although morally eschew, richard is a rather nice person. and charles is consistently a very not nice person. however this makes this make more sense

by this point in time, charles has already had an affair, which resulted in penny. and at one point richard points out that charles and ellie love each other but have a... difficult relationship. it’s not unlikely that ellie would have an affair

now, richard. i’m aware of how much he loved his dead wife isabella. i’m not ignoring that and i choose to believe that richard was relationship-less and celibate for a reeeeally long time before he fell in love with ellie

what’s important to this is i see the affair as happening not just because of sex (richard would never), but out of romantic feelings too. also no, i don’t think richard picked ellie to be leader because of love. neither richard or ellie are perfect but i think he picked her honestly believing she’d be a good leader

oh another thing: i still like the idea of dan being penny’s half brother and des’ brother-in-law, so to have it both ways, i’ve decided that only ellie and richard will ever know about this, keeping everything intact. penny would still posthumously consider daniel her brother (in my mind, naming a daughter after him)

i don’t mean to be smug but this theory is better than canon. not just genetically but having thought about it, i realised it’s more interesting and has more depth

and there’s really no reason to not see it as the truth (besides the fact that if this theory was true, daniel would be biracial but played by a white guy. much like my trans!charlie headcanon, im asking you to take this with artistic license)

here’s more about what this theory would mean:

both of daniel’s parents watched daniel die

it’s a given that richard having children would lead to him having to watch them die, but not like this.... not like this. also the idea of a man who’s ageless and lived for so long, having a child who died young

i like the idea of when ellie realises she’s pregnant, and tells richard, she feels guilty and says sorry because she knows richard will have to see daniel die (the dramatic irony. it HURTS) and richard vehemently telling her not to be sorry because despite that, he’s happy this is happening

THEN TWO WEEKS LATER IT ALL GOES TO SHIT

imagine the tragedy of both of them burying daniel

rather than be made by two people who may of loved each other but barely liked each other, daniel would be made in a loving relationship

this theory makes a lot of scenes with richard and ellie feel very different, in a good way. richard being concerned for her being pregnant around radiation (YEAH THAT HAPPENED, my mum commented that no wonder daniel is fucked up) and even going so far as to knock her out so she wouldn’t be in danger. richard doesn’t get this protective of other leaders

on that note, this changes reaction shots from richard. richard’s reactions to this situation in the variable look totally different to me now. after dan says “i’m your son”, ellie looks shocked and richard looks at her with great surprise. stuff like that. and like, yeah that already makes sense, but i’m saying with this in mind, the context for all this has changed

and yeah, daniel saying “i’m your son” with both parents present

after dan’s death, charles and richard are looking him over and charles says “i don’t know why but he seems... familiar to me”. then richard looks at charles with big eyes. curiosity & shock, yes but perhaps also “uh oh”?

also that line makes more sense in this context, because as i’ve said, it’s not like daniel looks like ellie at all (besides being white)

this didn’t happen in the episode proper, but there’s a photo from the filming of this episode that shows richard caressing daniel’s face after he dies. please note that richard barely knows this person

what ellie did was wrong but this adds extra justification. ellie is the type of person who shoots a man in the back without asking questions first, because he was pointing a gun at richard. with this in mind, ellie wasn’t just protecting her trusted advisor, she was protecting her lover

there’s the irony that the classically beautiful richard + the fairly pretty ellie = ...daniel. who, i don’t mean to be unkind, isn’t conventionally attractive

dan and miles were friends and considering i ship miles/richard post-finale, that means miles is gonna unknowingly date his friend’s dad

the scene where daniel tells richard that he’s in love with charlotte becomes daniel unknowingly telling his father he’s in love. either way, richard relates to this whole thing due to aforementioned dead wife

on that note! even taking away my headcanon personality traits for them, richard and daniel do have some things in common. they’re both polite, kind and at times diplomatic (by which i mean, they both attempt to calm down their friend’s attitude problems). they’re both lost loved ones to tragedy. yes, i know LOST had a lost lenore problem, shut up. and despite both their friendly demeanours, they’re both done morally questionable things. also remove my shipping and they’re both still friends with miles (he is the salt to their sugars). so while dan was raised by ellie (very badly) i feel like some of the kinder aspects of him came from richard

not that being polite is genetic. in canon, dan has a nightcrawler situation where he’s a the good son of two shitty people. here i’ve... given him a good dad. whom he’ll never know is his dad. because that’s sad

also while they’re both smart, at the end of the day, they are ruled by their emotions over rational thinking. love being paramount. and they both eventually completely snap, leading to irrational and suicidal behaviour

i know richard didn’t raise him, i just thought it’d be nice to bring up what they have in common. (also i think richard visited when daniel was very young. and made several attempts to convince ellie to not go thru with it)

oh also it makes the scene where charles goes “he’s my son, too” unintentionally funny because i swear i thought “nah, you idiot”. and a theory that leads to charles being duped and not realising it is great

there’s def more but then i’m just writing fanfiction, so i covered the basics. i like this theory and with each person who agrees with it, i gain more power

if you bear this theory in mind, it honestly enhances any scene with richard & daniel, and richard & ellie, and richard & charles, etc etc

in conclusion, this is a family picture:

thank you for your time

[alex-guerin]

I’ve tried putting up something about this on facebook, but the comments and messages I got from “well meaning friends” were...well...distressing to say the least. Especially considering they only know small bits about what’s going on, the bits that I’ve told them. So, I need to drop some facts about some shit that’s been happening the last two weeks. 

Two weeks ago, exactly, I had to work a Saturday shift at work. All three shifts did. There was no escaping it. Second shift loud mouth stayed to try and help us and at 4:30 when Jason came in, she split, went and cornered him about me, and when I left that morning Jason gave me his phone number and told me if I wanted to give him a call sometime...

I was ecstatic! We spent pretty much all day Saturday and Sunday texting each other and getting to know each other. We talked Monday at work, texted Monday after he got off work. This became the norm very quickly. We literally have become incapable of going a day without texting or talking to each other. Towards the end of last week he drop the other shoe I’d been waiting to hear fall, and that was a text that said “Truthfully, I’m single cause I choose to be, I’m not ready for a relationship yet. I’m just trying to take care of myself and be the best dad I can be.” I kinda saw it coming, but it still hurt, but at the same time, in the same text he told me I didn’t have to back off (my flirting) and he really didn’t know what I could screw up (I’d sleep deprived texted him telling him how terrified I was of screwing things up with him, that’s what prompted his confession of being single cuz he chose to be). Still, even with that, things haven’t changed. We see each other at work, we smile at each other, we talk, we joke, we spend time with each other at work if we can, and after work I usually lose at least an hour’s worth of sleep cuz I’m staying up so he and I can text each other. For the most part, we tell each other “sweet dreams” when one of us is heading to bed (aka, when I’m heading to bed), and always tell each other “See ya in the morning!” We’ve talked each other down from quitting. He gave me permission to hug, which I’ve tried very hard not to abuse, and permission to steal his hat and glasses if I find them lying around while he’s in the freezer working. He lets me borrow his freezer gloves if I have to do any amount of work in the freezer for longer than just a couple seconds, and if he doesn’t need them, and he’ll play around with me when he’s in the cooler and we’ll pick on each other and crack each other up and it’s fantastic. 

We know so much about each other now, even after just two weeks of talking/texting. I know that he’s 37, born and raised in San Antonio, TX, spent a lot of time in Alabama with his grandpa though. His mom was a single parent and his dad wasn’t in the picture a lot, but still did what he could to support Jason and his brother. His brother is 2 years younger than him, and they’re close af. He also has a half brother who is 12 years younger than him who he’s never actually spoken to. I know that he moved to Illinois in 2007, and I’m assuming it wasn’t long after he moved here that he met and married the woman who is now his ex-wife. I know he has two kids, a daughter who is 8 and his son is 7, and he gets them every other weekend, and that he thinks the world of them (enough so that just today he and his daughter went out shopping while her brother was at a sleepover birthday party, and Jason dropped $300 on clothes for her. No, he really doesn’t have that kind of money, but he did it anyway). I know that he’s been so close to quitting at work that he stormed out one day and management stood at the door just to make sure he’d come back. He’s got such a damned sense of responsibility at work, that he’s been there a year and two months now, and has NEVER missed a day of work. He’s never called in sick, or taken a vacation day, nothing. He has his kids until Monday this week, and he still texted me saying he might not be into work on Monday, “unless [he] can find a babysitter”. That’s how strong a sense of responsibility he has. I know he played baseball in college, though he never finished college, and that he can see far away without his glasses on but not up close. I know that he got his license suspended two years ago for DUIs he’d had when he was younger and didn’t do anything about, and he’ll get his license back in a year. He plays video games when he gets the chance, which given how crazy work has been for him lately, isn’t very often anymore. 

We don’t see each other outside of work. Not for lack of trying on my part, he’s usually just got something going on already, or he’s got his kids. Last weekend he did finally invite me over at like 8:30pm, but like a dumbass, he went inside and left his phone in the garage, so never saw me say it’d probably be 9:30 before I got there, depending where in Aurora he lived. So, no, I don’t even know where he lives or anything. We literally just text each other. The most physical contact we have is when I hug him at work either when I’m heading out for the night/day, or when I’m about to lose my mind and need that little bit of grounding to keep me sane; or when he comes in for labels and playfully bumps his shoulder into mine or something. That’s it. That’s the extent of our physical contact. This is important to remember. Keep this in mind. 

Last night he and I were texting and we spent a good long while making each other laugh with ridiculously empty threats about what would happen to him if he came into work Monday morning instead of calling off so he can spend more time with his kids. The talk turned a little real and then all of the sudden I’m flying sky high and utterly speechless and ready to burst into tears when he sends me a text saying, “Sometimes I fly by you in the lift and I just give you a look and you smile and it makes me feel better.” I sat there staring at my phone, on the verge of tears, unsure of how to answer for the longest time. During that time, he sends me another text that had me crashing back down to reality, “I don’t want to upset you, but you know I’m not looking to date right now”. It hurts being reminded that he’s not looking for a relationship right now, or to date right now. He’s told me a couple of times he’s just not ready to yet. He wants to focus on himself and taking care of his kids, and I get that. It still hurts a bit, but I get that. 

I posted on Facebook last night after this happened, asking if I was just setting myself up for heartbreak by holding out a small bit of hope on that “right now” changing, was I completely hopeless? We’re friends, there’s absolutely no doubt about that now, we’re very much friends, and I’ve told him I’d rather have his friendship than nothing at all. I’m kind of a little attached to him. We at least know pretty much where we stand with each other. After I posted my question and concern on Facebook, suddenly I’m getting all kinds of “well meaning friends” commenting and messaging me telling me yes, you’re being a fool. Guys who play the “not ready for a relationship card” are always only using it so they can have all the benefits of being a boyfriend, without being tied down to you. They use that card basically so they can have sex without being committed to you. Move on. Ignore him. Cut him out of your life right now. Don’t get your hopes up cuz you’re only gonna get hurt by him. But...like...what if he’s NOT using that line as an excuse? He and I aren’t sleeping together (even though one of my co-workers is convinced we are). I’ve already explained our extent of physicality with each other. What if he really means it, that he’s not ready for anything because his marriage ended rather recently. Which, I’m pretty sure it did. Am I still a fool for holding out hope? Knowing what I do about him and given we’ve only hugged maybe three or four times -- all times initiated by myself?

I don’t know. I told myself today I wasn’t going to text him, just to test the fact that we can’t make it a day without texting. A little after 2pm I got a text from him asking how my day was going. This doesn’t really sound like a guy who is just interested in sex, even if he did send me a text yesterday afternoon that was sent out of his own sleep deprived insanity as part of a joke we’d been teasing about most of the day (”I do dangle though lmao” ...yeah, he made a dick joke. What guy doesn’t?).  I dunno. I just...I wanna hold out that hope, cuz I really like him, and the more I learn about him, the harder I fall. 

I just dunno....