#SERIOUSLY DO NOT FEE LBAD ANON

[lacependragon]

Are you bringing back the ironqrow fic of them sparring? That was one of my favourites

Okay so STORY TIME. (tw for suicide mention and depression and bullying -- YES ITS THAT KIND OF STORY)

I wrote that fic for a very specific person in which I emulated [their] writing style to try and make [them] happier with it. Within a week, I hated that fic. It did not sound like me at all. I never reread it.

And then. The Event happened and the person I wrote that fic for legitimately attempted to drive me to suicide alongside about... half a dozen other people. I try not to remember.

[They] did so actively. Aggressively. It was February of 2017 aka the event that made me eventually purge my blog in January of 2018.

So while I appreciate that that fic is a favourite of yours, it no longer exists. It remains one of three fics I have ever purposely, permanently deleted off my hard drive and everywhere else in the world. It is gone. It’s sequel is gone. And another oneshot is gone. Unless someone else in this world saved it, it’s gone forever. And I am glad. And the bits of that fic I remember still actively send me into a panic spiral on a good day.

This has nothing to do with you. This is not your fault for sending the ask. But I wanted to explain myself because I am trying to be honest these days. And I wanted to be clear that a) this fic is never coming back b) its sequel is never coming back and c) I don’t WANT it to come back.

HOWEVER

I do still loving sparring sex (Pole Dancing comes to mind, for non-Ironqrow) and I plan on writing more. I have at least three planned. One involves bottom!James. One involves a shower. It is my hope that all of these are better than the one that came before and can realign my thoughts when I think of ironqrow and sparring sex.

so yeah.

tl;dr -- its never coming back but there are sparring fics coming anyway.