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greatwyrmgold · 6 months ago

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GIRL, PLEASE, YOUR WORDS!!!! USE YOUR WORDS!!!!!

Ai is (was) using her words. she's just not using them well. I mean, she's doing her best but...she was kinda screwed from the moment she got pregnant. Or maybe from the moment she and Kamiki hooked up.

Ai and Kamiki's flaws are so complimentary. If the stars had aligned, they could have righted each other, corrected each other's self-loathing, coming together like two halves of a beautiful clockwork machine. But they didn't, so they came together like two halves of a clockwork machine while the gears were already spinning in the wrong direction. Crow Girl, I hope this metaphor makes sense to anyone else.

That "two-sided failure of communication" is so compelling. We know so little about Ai and Kamiki, compared to their kids and their kids' friends, but what we know is such an intricate little trainwreck. It's tragic because we can see how beautifully it could have ended, and also all the reasons that could never happen.

I find it more compelling that most of what's going on in the present tense, which on second thought sounds like a criticism of the story Akasaka decided to write. I am rotating Ai and Kamiki in my head while Aqua and whatever happened to Ruby sit stationary to one side.

Not sure how I feel about this resolution to that tension. Kamiki finally understands Ai well enough to understand what she never found a way to communicate in life...because she left behind a DVD that told him what she couldn't communicate. Not just "I wanted to be with you," but all the details about her own psychology that lead to her inability to express it. It's not even Ai struggling to explain herself and Aqua or Ruby helping Kamiki figure out what it means; Ai explains, Aqua summarizes, Kamiki reacts.

chapter 154 thoughts

Chapters Since The 143 Kiss Happened And Went Entirely Unacknowledged And Unaddressed Count: 11

Aqua Hoshigan Status: (Still) white

man

This is one of those chapters where, technically speaking, I should probably be tearing it to bits (AND I DEFINITELY WILL) - it represents a pretty substantial break in or retcon to the series continuity as it's been presented to us thus far and the actions of certain characters in the lead up to this event don't quite make sense if they've had access to some of the information that's seemingly been in their hands for a while but… would you guys forgive me if I said I didn't really care LOL. As I've said before, I'm the sort of reader who can excuse a lot of raw Plot Bullshit so long as I feel like the hearts of the characters are intact and for all its fumbles, this is a chapter I think is unerringly dedicated to the hearts of its characters. I've made no secret of the fact that Ai is and always has been my main avenue of investment in Oshi no Ko as a series and in this chapter, we uncover the final secret in her heart in particular after having the entire series thus far dedicated to laying it bare to us.

We pick up exactly where we left off last chapter with the reveal that the HKAI breakup was indeed founded on Ai's pregnancy, as a lot of us had predicted.

This, uh, does not quite line up with previous events!

From what we'd previously been told, in terms of placement in the timeline, the death of Airi and her husband happened after the twins were born and sometime in the leadup to the Dome concert, which would put it in the ballpark of Ai's 18th to 20th birthday depending on how long it was in the works for. But based on how this flashback section is structured, it seems to place their deaths before Ai even knew she was pregnant, let alone giving birth. If it was just clashing with 15YL's retelling then I could dismiss that as an element of the movie's fictionalization that we've seen and Kamiki alludes to but this also clashes with where this event was placed temporally by Ichigo, when remembering a real life event. So… What gives!!!!

Like, at the end of the day, the exact placement of Uehara's death only matters inasmuch as it needs to be before Ai gets her new apartment, since the point Ichigo is really making is that Aqua is pinning his hopes on a dead man who was dead before he could have ever contributed to Ai's murder. But placing it that far back in the timeline - before the twins were even born! - just makes Aqua's willful ignorance in relation to it come off as a lot sillier and more difficult to swallow than if it happened closer to Ai's actual date of death.

I'm also a little disappointed that we really quickly breeze past Ai revealing she's pregnant - it's not the point of the scene overall and it would be weird to go really deep into her POV in the middle of a Kamiki flashback but one of my big issues with the Movie Arc was that it ripped past anything and everything to do with Ai's pregnancy, including how she herself felt about being pregnant. Like I said in my 145 review, skipping over the parts of it we've seen makes sense but I think there's still a bunch of really fascinating potential in exploring how Ai felt when she realized she was pregnant - how did she hide it for long enough that she was almost halfway through her pregnancy and getting fucking enormous before her first checkup? How did Ichigo and Miyako react when they first got the news? There's so much juicy character and relationship work you could mine out of that but the story fails to do so. We sort of get a crumb of this in the DVD but her feelings there are all centered on the pregnancy in relation to Hikaru and even then she breezes past it so fast it's clearly not meant to be the focus of any of what she's saying and idk. For a character whose entire hook is her struggles with motherhood, familial love and all the rest of it, that's a little disappointing.

THAT SAID!!! All that makes me sound like I didn't like what went on with Ai this chapter but I actually loved it. It's so painfully in line with everything we've been told and shown about her thus far in the manga and in this chapter, we see all her strengths, weaknesses and human contradictions laid bare in a way I find incredibly rewarding and compelling.

The HKAI breakup especially is just soooooo deliciously cringe inducing. It's an echo of the argument with Nino that 15YL portrays, where Ai's good intentions, avoidant tendencies and absolute absence of tact all snowball and end up ruining one of her most important relationships. Like… I can't believe I'm about to say this about a conversation in which Ai is one of the people talking, but she really is the reasonable one here! She's right to identify that their relationship is not working, that adding babies and marriage to the mix will only make things worse - her intentions, as they always are, are good and she's making her decisions with Kamiki in mind… her delivery is just absolutely dogshit!!! GIRL, PLEASE, YOUR WORDS!!!! USE YOUR WORDS!!!!!

For all my issues with Akasaka's writing lately, I think he portrays these kinds of two sided failures of communication so well, where you can see exactly where both characters are coming from and why they are failing to get their feelings across to each other. From an outsider's POV it's clear as day that Ai views herself and her children as the burden, one she doesn't want to put on Kamiki for the sake of a girl who doesn't even know if she can love him… but is it any wonder why Kamiki took it the way he did and why his guts were so utterly wrenched out as a result?

Kamiki's attempted proposal and Ai's immediate rejection of it are really interesting with the context of 45510 in particular. Extrapolating from her talk of marriage there, she brushed him off so quickly because she simply didn't believe he was serious… and yeah, he's pretty clearly not fully cognizant of the weight of what he's trying to propose, never mind that he's meeting "let's break up" with "LET'S GET MARRIED" lol.

Also interesting to extrapolate from both 45510 and other material surrounding Ai is that, at that point in her life, she simply didn't understand what the point of marriage was. On top of her being Literally Sixteen And A Child right now, Ai is said to have come from a deeply dysfunctional home where her mother engaged in a number of equally dysfunctional relationships, at least one of whom was with a man who was creeping on Ai even as he was working up to marry her mom. It's no wonder she doesn't really take the idea of marriage seriously, but it still hurts so see her reject Kamiki so bluntly - even more bluntly in the Japanese text somehow, simply chirping 無理! (Muri!) in response, i.e, not just "no way" but telling Kamiki to his face it's impossible.

Honestly this whole breakup scene is so darkly hilarious just in terms of how bad Ai is completely beefing it. Congrats babygirl that's the worst anyone's ever done it!!!

And we finally get the "I can't love you" drop after just shy of 25 chapters of buildup…….. And honestly, it feels a little hollow.

I talked about this a little before so forgive me for repeating myself but that line - or rather, Aqua and Ruby's implied misunderstanding of it - from Ai to Hikaru was given a huge amount of weight in the story when it was first introduced. It was implied to be the lynchpin in which everything else about the HKAI romance rested only for the story to go UH WELL ACTUALLY IT'S ABOUT WHETHER OR NOT AI FORGIVES HER KILLER which is like… fine, it just feels very jarring on a reread or when trying to sew together a plot thread like this. It especially feels strange because the emphasis is placed on them not getting it right or at least that Gotanda disagrees with their interpretation, only for the manga to whip back around and not only return this line to its previous heightened importantance but also to largely not line up with what was established about this line and its place in the narrative when it was first introduced. It's just more evidence that Akasaka's plans for the Movie Arc and its resolution changed in some way during serialisation because these inconsistencies are pretty glaring.

Not just that, but like… it's hard to feel impacted by this line when we didn't even see it in the Movie Arc. In general, it's so fucking weird that so much about the main emotional resolutions going on right now revolve around Ruby's performance in the movie when most of the big emotional moments people are reacting to are happening entirely offscreen. This would already be bad even if it wasn't taking place in a manga like OnK with its increasingly frustrating habit of offscreening more and more bits of the story that are extremely important for the characters. Before this chapter I would've said that maybe we'd see some of it after the movie released but given that Kamiki's arc and the revenge play as a whole is pretty clearly wrapping here, what would even be the point of it?

Idk. It's just increasingly obvious (and just as frustrating) to me just how much of the Movie Arc was wasted time and how much of the setup that needed to happen to make what follows really land just… didn't. This chapter's resolution for Ai and Hikaru, both separately and as a couple, is still excellent, but it could have been a lot better if its foundations weren't so meager.

We also finally get concrete proof from the horse's mouth that Kamiki was the one who deliberately leaked Ai's address and……. honestly this is kind of a wet fart too lol. OnK has previously very strongly implied that "Kamiki is Ai's killer" was a red herring or that we should at least be slightly skeptical of Aqua's assertions and conclusions but… nope, he was right all along, I guess?? Alright………………………… I certainly don't believe his insistence that gosh he totes didn't think Ryosuke would go THAT far and I'm still wondering wtf the two of them were doing at the hospital the night the twins were born but like. Honestly at this point, I don't really think it matters and I care much more about emotional resolutions than I do granular plot details - and boy do we get one hell of an emotional resolution.

I haven't shouted her out yet because I was saving it for this section but fuck, man, Mengo's expression work told chapter is killer as usual but this final stretch of pages is just gutwrenching. Ai's gentle, rueful smile on the DVD contrasted with the look of shocked, dawning understanding on Kamiki's….. Jesus Christ.

And at last, we uncover the final secret hidden at the bottom of Ai's heart. The entire manga thus far has been a process of stripping away the viewer's willful ignorance with regards to Ai's humanity but the DVDs had been an oddly ominous mystery box floating around, containing some implied dark secret that would change the entire trajectory of Ai's character as we knew it… but of course, the person who tells us that is Ai herself, a girl who hates herself, thinks of herself as dirty and impure, irresponsible and incapable of love.

So is it really any surprise that her darkest secret, the thing she can only confess with her eyes shining with black stars is simply that she's a fallible human? That she was a lonely young girl, confused and hurt in her own ways and that she hurt someone she dearly cared for and wanted to take it back?

Is it a little convenient that she put all this in the DVD? Yes, absolutely, and I'll be the first to say that the DVDs existing at all are a pretty clear retcon in service of getting info onto Aqua's hands. But it's also perfectly in line with Ai's timid, avoidant methods of reaching out. It parallels both Viewpoint B and 45510 (moreso the latter) where she pours her heart out in words, waiting for others to read and understand her. In 45510 in particular, her leaving the blog post is an extremely clear and strong parallel to the DVD - love letters put into bottles and thrown to the ocean in desperate hope the person they're addressed to might find and understand them.

As Akane says, Ai is torn between secrecy and a desire to have her true self exposed, so she attempts to craft scenarios in which this must happen, even if her avoidance can only allow her to do so with indirect methods. With the blog and moreso the DVDs & their method of delivery, Ai attempts to create situations where the initiation confrontation and disclosure is out of her hands and she has no choice but to tell the truth.

Ai's entire speech here is just heartbreaking. If the start of the chapter didn't make it explicit enough, we see her here put her good intentions into words to better understand how they were misinterpreted.

This adds SUCH a fascinating additional layer to her death that has me gnashing my fucking teeth. One of the things I've talked about a lot in my Ai meta is that Ryosuke is essentially an agent or even an embodiment of the entertainment industry and the way it has exploited her - the misogyny, entitlement, purity culture and abuse that ruled her life went on to end it. With this additional detail, though, Ryosuke becomes an agent not just of the things that plagued Ai of B-Komachi, but Ai as a human, too. All her life, Ai is willfully misunderstood and mischaracterized by the people around her, assigned narratives and roles without her consent and punished for both living up to and failing to live up to them. Ai's death is the end result of a lifelong cascade of failure on the part of every system and individual that has had the opportunity and responsibility to care for her - and, as Aqua throws in his father's face, that includes Hikaru.

Hikaru's supposed understanding of Ai is not one based in empathy or love but projection and possessiveness - understanding in this context is ownership, exclusivity and frankly, arrogance. A claim to a piece of Ai that no one else knows. But as Aqua forces him to realize… Hikaru never understood Ai, even as she did her best to make herself understood. For all his arrogance of understanding Ai and the nature of their relationship, Kamiki is ultimately just the same as every other person who idolized and objectified her then discarded her when the image they'd created in their mind didn't match reality. Ai wasn't his pure and perfect soulbonded saviour - she was a lonely, broken kid like him, still struggling to understand love after a lifetime spent starved of it.

Once, Kamiki begged Ai to save him. And here, the bitter truth is laid out for all of us: the salvation Kamiki had wished for was waiting for him, reaching out with open arms and he not only desecrated it but irrevocably destroyed any path back towards it. In killing Ai, Hikaru Kamiki killed himself.

The imagery of this moment is so fucking gorgeous. The visual of Kamiki and Ai reaching out to each other, in mutual understanding at last but separated by time and death… the "what if" happy Hoshino family… Ai's words being framed as a 'love letter' that transcended time to reach Kamiki and Aqua's eyes blazing with white as tears pour down his face… Jesus fucking Christ Mengo I'm already dead!!!!!

Like I said up top, I make zero secret of the fact that I am primarily invested in Ai above everything else in the manga and the way her importance has been seemingly downplayed since the late 130s mark chapter wise has really bugged me. As such, this chapter was INSANELY cathartic for me. Not only do we get a really beautiful cap to Ai's post death arc (hopefully finally killing those dumbfuck Secretly Evil Ai theories for good) but it's done in a way that once again recenters her love and her wishes as the heart of everything. Even Aqua's revenge play is completely redefined in this context - no longer the childish, selfish and self destructive lashing out we've seen before but as a quest to both honor Ai and to punish the person arrogantly assuming ownership of her heart even as he so catastrophically misunderstands her.

This is a really fantastic end to Aqua's arc too… on paper, that is. I know for a fact that a certain genre of OnK readers are going to bitch and moan that Aqua didn't run his dad over with a 2003 Honda Civic but I really can't imagine Aqua's revenge quest going any other way unless OnK was intended to be a pure tragedy. Over and over, we have seen that Aqua's revenge is at odds with not just his happiness but with Ai's wish for him to live a full life with a bright future. It is self destructive, hurtful to the people around him and antithetical to any of them moving on and reclaiming what their futures. With the emphasis the story places on moving towards a happy future, in selfishly reclaiming your happiness even in the face of systems that seek to crush you and on honouring Ai's wishes and legacy, it would be flatly thematically incoherent for Aqua to choose killing.

The issue is not with this as Aqua's end point but with the path we've taken to get here. As was the issue with Ruby during the Movie Arc, we don't actually see any of the internal work that happened in service of this arc, just the big emotional end points of offscreen development. But it stings especially bad with Aqua when such a huge chunk of the last few arcs locked us out of his head, sharply contrasting the start of the story that lived and breathed his interiority - AND when this is more or less the capstone to his series long struggle to choose love or revenge. It's not that I dislike this as an emotional payoff for Aqua's revenge - this is more or less beat for beat what I'd expected - but that it lacks proper support from the rest of the story. In general, this chapter falls flatter than it should because all this heightened, dramatic emotion rests on arcs and setup that simply have not been shown to the reader, save for Ai.

Speaking of Ai, the info in the DVD here potentially represents a pretty major break in the continuity of Aqua's behaviour based on when we're told he had access to it but I'm willing to bite my tongue and see if that gets filled in, if only because this chapter review is already so fucking long. Let's just say that I Noticed and I sure hope Aka or his editors did too.

And finally… Oh, hey there, Ruby! Aren't you an interesting little snarl to this chapter. Or maybe "snarl" isn't quite right, but her presence here is potentially interesting either way. I'm not quite sure how to read both her expression and her presence - the expression on her face looks VERY displeased and it looks to me like she's outside the room, so is she maybe eavesdropping and not happy with what she hears? Or is she in on Aqua's talk with Kamiki here and just struggling with her emotions with regards to it all? I'm quiety hoping it's the latter, because it would confirm that Ruby DID recognize her dad in 147 and Akasaka wasn't expecting me to believe he was hitting her with the stupid stick quite that hard lol.

In either case, I'm actually excited to see what Ruby takes away from this. In the ways that AQRB has echoed the HKAI dynamic, Ruby has always been in Kamiki's shoes - the one desperate to be saved, clinging to her oshi and relying on him as her sole bastion of light in the world. So what will she think now after being faced with the logical endpoint of this wished-for codependence? When she sees how destructive and self destructive it can potentially be? Just as she saw Ai reflected in herself, will Ruby see her father in her own reflection - and if so, what will she do about it?

Break next week! So we'll be sitting pretty for two weeks to find out. Not that I actually mind this time because with a chapter like this on top of season 2 of the anime coming back today, a week without a break might have actually killed me… please, akamengo, i'm just a little guy!!!!

#oshi no ko #manga #essay #yes-anding #kinda

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bonnyskies · 4 years ago

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come back to me [thirteen] ⇢ jjk

you’re willing to do anything to save your marriage, even if that meant you’d have to sacrifice your own happiness to do so.

pairing — husband!jungkook x malereader, ft. ceo!jaehyun

genre — angst, sexual themes, idol au, exes to lovers-ish au, open relationship au, marriage au, parents au

series warnings — infidelity (kinda?), swearing, bisexual!jungkook, jealous!jungkook, insecure!reader, unhealthy relationship, unrequited love-ish, slow burn, use of alcohol, mentions of divorce problems, (more could be added in future chapters)

word count — 4.2k

author’s note: it’s finally here, ladies and gentlemen. sorry that it took so long to release.

masterlist

Jungkook didn’t a get a single ounce of sleep.

Last night, he was too busy being constantly haunted by your mother’s words for him to even close his eyes for a second.

You better not screw this up.

The words echoed inside his mind for hours, keeping him wide awake and staring up at his bedroom’s blank ceiling. He didn’t know what she meant by that.

She doesn’t know about your guys’ divorce. The only people that knew were his hyungs and Aerum, and they all swore not to tell anyone. So what else could she be talking about?

Jungkook didn’t realize how long he spent laying awake, thinking and wondering until the sound of small and loud footsteps could heard from outside his door—it was you and Minho. If you two were up and running around already, then it must be morning.

Jungkook got out of bed and before leaving his room he took a glance at himself in the mirror. He looked so sleep deprived—which he was. His eyes were slightly red, bags were evident underneath them and his hair was messy and skin pale.

When entering the kitchen, Jungkook couldn’t help but feel his heart ache at the sight in front of him for some reason. Seeing you already making breakfast with Minho on top of the counter, playing with your phone. It reminded him of back then, when he’d wake up and come downstairs to find you cooking breakfast while Minho ‘pretended’ to help you prepare. He’d greet you with a good morning kiss and a pinch on the cheek for his son.

Now, he couldn’t do that. The only thing he could do is watch from a distance, and it was nobody’s fault but his.

“Hey,” the sound of your soft, yet raspy voice broke Jungkook out of his thoughts, eyes wide and staring right at you. “Are you hungry? Minho and I are making pancakes,” you said, smiling at your son who gave you a toothy grin in return.

“Y-Yeah, sure.” Jungkook’s voice cracked, which he tried to hide by clearing his throat. “Do you need help with anything?”

You shook your head, eyes trained on the stove. “No, I’m okay. We’re just about done.”

Jungkook nodded and sat down at the table, eyes following you as you carried the plates of freshly made pancakes to the table. The sweet scent of the cooked batter filled Jungkook’s nostrils, bringing an instant smile on his lips. You were—still are a fantastic cook.

The three of you didn’t waste any time before consuming the food.

Most the meal was spent in silence.

It didn’t take long for you three to finish eating.

With you and Jungkook cleaning up the dishes, Minho was now in the living room watching his cartoons—and still, neither of you have spoken a word to each other since before breakfast.

But then, you were the first to break the silence. “So what do you want to do today?”

Jungkook froze, the question surprising him. He hasn’t put much thought into it. He was too busy being anxious about today instead of actually planning something. “I-I don’t know. What do you want to do today?”

You shrugged your shoulders. “I’m not sure. How about we go to the mall, or the beach and just walk around? We have to whole day to kill. My eomma is picking Minho up any minute and won’t come back with him until tonight at ten.”

“Yeah, that sounds good—” the sound of someone knocking on the door cut Jungkook off.

It was your mother.

Jungkook glanced up at the clock that hung above the door and his heart quickened when seeing that it was only half past eight. If your mother was here to pick up Minho already, that meant you two would be spending more than twelve hours together, alone.

You walked past a stunned Jungkook and opened the door for your mother, greeting her with a warm smile. “Hey eomma, Minho is in the living room watching cartoons.”

“Great,” she clapped her hands excitingly, stepping inside so that you were able to close the door behind her. “We’re going to go do some shopping, get some ice cream, and take him to the Waikiki park.”

“That sounds fun.” Jungkook commented, and you couldn’t help but notice the hard stare your mother briefly sent him.

“So what do you two have planned for today?”

You and Jungkook both glanced at each other. “We aren’t really sure on what we’re going to do today,” you answered. “We might just walk around Ala Moana or the beach.”

You could hear your mother sigh. “Well, it’s good that you’ll be there then because I happen to have made a reservation for the both of you at this really nice restaurant—I’ll send you the information.”

Before you had the chance even say anything your mother was already taking Minho and rushing out of the door. And not even a second later your phone vibrated in your pocket, and when checking you could see that it was the reservations your mother was talking about.

You and Jungkook had reservations at a restaurant called Akasaka inside the Ala Moana center at six o’clock tonight. That means you two have about ten hours to kill, alone. The only problem is that neither of you know what to do.

It’s been almost a year since you two have spent time alone together—like real time alone.

Once you two were alone, you and Jungkook only shared glances at one another in silence before going your separate ways—you going to your room while he stayed in the living room.

Now, the only thing you two would do is wait for the time to arrive—very anxiously.

Jungkook stood in his room, staring at himself in the mirror and taking in his appearance.

He was dressed in a nice gray collared shirt with a couple buttons unbuttoned, revealing his sharp collarbone and a pair of black jeans. He couldn’t stop shaking as he would occasionally glance down at his phone, watching as the time changed and slowly approach five.

You two were about to leave soon for dinner.

Jungkook wondered if you were just as nervous as he was right now. Yes, you were.

On the other side of the door, in your own room you were trembling from anxiety just as bad as he was, hands shaking and sweat forming on your forehead.

It felt like a first date all over again—no! This wasn’t like it at all. Your first date with Jungkook wasn’t nerve wracking, it was easy. There wasn’t no awkward silence or a tensed atmosphere, conversation flowed smoothly between you two as if you both have known each other for years.

Instead, it felt like you were meeting a stranger for the first time instead an actual first date.

That’s when realization struck you. You were going on a date with Jungkook—a real one. The first real one in almost a year and you two were going to be alone, without Minho to help clear the tensed atmosphere between you two.

The sound of a gentle knock on your door broke you out of your thoughts, heart stammering before speaking in a low voice, “Yes?”

“Are you ready?” Even without seeing his face, you could already tell he was just as nervous judging from the sound of his uneasy voice on the other side of the door. “Our reservation is in less than hour, and if we want to make it we have to leave now.”

“Y-Yeah,” you quickly spewed out. “I’m ready.”

When opening the door, you and Jungkook were both left stunned and speechless at the sight of each other. Even though the both of you were dressed in such simple outfits—you being in a dark red and black flannel long sleeve and a pair of denim skinny jeans, you two still managed to take the other’s breath away.

That’s how it’s always been between you two. No matter how simple something is, you both never failed to leave the other breathless.

“Y-You—” Jungkook paused, his wide eyes briefly scanning your figure. “You look nice.”

You couldn’t hide the blush creeping on your cheeks, even by lowering your head to conceal your face. “Thanks, you too.”

“Are you ready to go?” You only nodded.

When leaving the leaving the hotel, you and Jungkook didn’t dare touch each other, regardless that you two were still believed to be a happy couple to the public. It’s not that the thought of it disgust either of you, but you both didn’t know what the other wanted. So, the two of you settled with the simple gesture of your shoulders just barely brushing against each other.

But still—it was enough.

The journey to the restaurant was tense.

Throughout the entire drive to Ala Moana, walking through the large outdoor mall, neither of you spoke to the other.

It’s not that you didn’t want to—it was just that neither of you knew what to say to each other.

When arriving at the restaurant, you couldn’t help but feel your heart drop into your stomach. Before it almost felt like a normal day, but now as you stood inside a fancy restaurant beside Jungkook—it all now felt real. You were here, with him, on a date.

“Reservation for—” Jungkook suddenly paused, voice stumbling. You noticed how he glanced at you a brief moment before continuing, “—for the Jeons.”

Your heart clenched inside your chest.

“Oh, yes.” The hostess nodded her head, grabbing two menus with a smile on her face. “Follow me, please.”

As you and Jungkook followed the hostess, multiple whispers could be heard by the other guests of the restaurant, their words making your heart ache even more.

“Is that Jeon Jungkook?”

“He’s here with his husband, they must be on a date right now.”

“Is it true that they have been together for more than ten years?”

“Yeah, they’ve been dating ever since they were teenagers.”

“I remember back then some ARMY didn’t trust {Name}, accusing him for using Jungkook for money and fame. But look at them now, they’re happily married and even have a kid.”

“They’re so in love—true soulmates!”

That last one hurt.

“Your table, gentlemen.” The hostess stopped, gesturing towards the neatly prepared table meant for only two people.

“Thank you,” you and Jungkook both said at the same time, briefly eyeing each other. The hostess bowed her head in reply before leaving.

Before you had the chance to sit down, you were shock to see Jungkook step forward and pull your chair out for you, your heart fluttering when seeing the tiny smile on his lips. But nonetheless, you thanked him with a small nod before sitting down.

“This place is nice,” Jungkook commented as he then took his own seat across from you after pushing you in.

“Yeah, eomma did great choosing this place.” You agreed, opening the menu with your still trembling hands, still shaking from the anxiety you were currently feeling.

Jungkook also opened up his menu, but his attention wasn’t on it. Instead, he was more focused on you, watching as your eyes repeatedly scanned the menu’s pages while nibbling on your bottom lip and nose scrunching, a habit that you do whenever you were trying to concentrate.

He always found it adorable. “See anything you like?”

You raised your head up to meet his eyes, “Nothing yet. What about you?”

Jungkook hasn’t taken a single glance at it yet. “Yeah, me neither. How about we get some miso soup as an appetizer, so that we have at least something to eat while we continue to think?”

You nodded, “That sounds good.”

That was the only time you two spoke.

Dinner was long over, and the tensed atmosphere that surround you and Jungkook never went away.

Now, as you two walked through Ala Moana, the distance you both shared between was greater than before, not daring to brush your shoulders against one another.

While your mind remained nearly silent, Jungkook’s was being constantly haunted by your mother’s words echoing inside his head. “You better not screw this up.”

Did he screw it up?

Yes, even though neither of you weren’t really expecting to have a day for each other, he also didn’t want it be like this—awkward and tense. Jungkook couldn’t help but think back to the many nights you two would share with one another, how the both of you could start and hold a conversation with each other so easily.

But now, neither of you couldn’t even form a single word without stuttering.

As you two continued to walk through the mall, Jungkook couldn’t stop himself from glancing at you every now and then, eyes scanning and taking in the emotionless expression on your face as your own gaze remained in front of you.

That’s when Jungkook began to notice the small changes in you once again. Ever since the fallout between you two, he hasn’t had much of a chance to actually look at you. But now, as you stood right beside him he couldn’t help but notice how much you’ve changed.

The once happy, welcoming smile that was always accompaning your face was replaced with lips formed in a cold, passionless straight line. And the heartwarming glint that used to always shine in your eyes was gone and instead filled with an empty void of nothing but darkness. And lastly your neck—the place that Jungkook used to picture as an artist’s beautiful canvas, one that he always used to covered with marks, both loving and intimate marks. But now, it was nothing but an artist’s empty canvas, one that hasn’t been touched or painted on in so long.

As Jungkook’s eyes continued to observe you, he then made one last shocking discovery that made his heart ache inside his chest. Down on your left hand, a certain piece of small jewelry was missing—your wedding ring.

Jungkook then glanced down at his own hand, staring at the metal band that remained around his finger for the past ten years. To this day, he still hasn’t take his off even though your guys’ relationship ended long ago—and nobody was to blame but himself. A part of him thought it was just him being a forgetful person, always forgetting remove the wedding band but he knew that deep down, he just couldn’t. He always thought there was a small chance for your guys’ marriage to be fixed, but as the days turned into weeks, and the weeks turned into months, he just gave up—and again, nobody was at fault except for him.

The thought your relationship officially ending struck a nerve inside Jungkook. Tonight can’t end this way, not if this might be the last time you two would ever be alone together.

Just the thought of it made his heart ache.

He had to make this night memorable—for you, and for him.

“Do you want to get some ice cream?” Jungkook spoke up for the first time since the start of dinner, making you turn your head and raise a brow at him confusingly.

You followed the direction where he nodded, eyes falling on a Dippin Dots cart, creating an instant smile on your lips. You turned back towards him and nodded your head eagerly, “Yes, please!”

Jungkook grinned. Dippin Dots is your favorite.

You couldn’t help but release a small gasp when sudddenly feeling his fingers lace with yours and started to pull you towards the small cart.

“Hello, kind gentlemen.” The woman behind the counter greeted. “What would you two like?”

You opened your mouth speak, but Jungkook answered before you could. “Yes, can we get one medium cotton candy and one medium chocolate, please?”

You were left speechless. He still remembered your favorite flavor—cotten candy? You can’t even remember the last you two went out for ice cream, usually you’d already have some at home but it would be Minho’s favorite flavor instead, oreo.

The cashier nodded her head and began to make your orders. And at the same time, both you and Jungkook reached for your wallets.

“No, I can pay—” you tried speak at the same time Jungkook also said, “I’ve got it.”

You opened your mouth to argue but Jungkook interrupted, repeating in a more serious tone. “I’ve got it, {Name}. It’s date night remember?”

Your heart clenched inside your chest when date night came out of his mouth, taking your breath away. It wasn’t him saying that that made your chest tighten and breath quicken, but the way he said it. How smoothly it came out.

You could only bow your head gratefully, scared that if opened your mouth only incoherent words would come out.

Jungkook grinned down at you, noticing your flushed expression. After paying for your guys’ desert he thanked the cashier and handed you your cup before leaving, you following after.

The moment the sweet taste of Dippin Dots touched your lips a large smile instantly formed on your face, which only made Jungkook’s one grow even wider.

After that, you and Jungkook continued to walk through Ala Moana, but this time was different. You didn’t know whether it was the sweet taste distracting your mind or not, but conversations now carried on so smoothly between you two, along with cheerful smiles and playful laughter. Like the tensed atmosphere that surrounded you two at the start of tonight simply vanished.

It almost felt like a real date.

“—and I’m telling you,” releasing a chuckle, you shoved another spoonful of your ice cream into your mouth. “She’s been out for me long before I introduced you to my family, and I don’t even know why.”

“Okay, okay.” Jungkook snickered, taking another scoop of his ice cream into his mouth. “I believe you—I was just wondering, that’s all. Maybe she’s just jealous of you.”

That made you instantly choke on your food. “Jealous of me? You’re insane, there’s no way. Why in the world of she be jealous of me?”

Your words left Jungkook stunned in place. “Are you serious? Have you seen yourself?”

You could feel your cheeks become flushed by his words. “What do you mean?”

Jungkook sighed, feeling his own cheeks begin to heat up at the sight of your flustering face. “What I’m trying to say is, is that you two are polar opposites. She’s jealous that you’re constantly praised by others while she isn’t.”

“T-That’s not true—”

“Yes, it is!” Jungkook exclaimed vigorously. “You managed to get a job at one of the most successful companies in South Korea without anyone’s help. And not just any job, but as the CEO’s personal assistant. You also helped organize the business agreement between Jung Enterpise and BigHit Entertainment—one of the best partnerships known in the twentieth century. You already made a name for yourself in the business world and you’re not even thirty yet, {Name}.”

“Jiyoo’s jealous that everybody recognizes your accomplishments and doesn’t mentions hers,” Jungkook continued to add. “But can you really blame them? Everything she has was practically handed to her while you worked hard through your blood, sweat and tears—of course everybody is going to praise you on that.”

You lowered your head, trying to hide the evident heat on your cheeks. It was like your entire face was on fire now from hearing all those compliments spewing out of Jungkook’s mouth.

“Seriously, {Name}—” you froze when feeling his hand grasping onto your wrist. “She has no right treating you this way when you have been nothing but kind to her.”

“Passively aggressive, you should say.” You corrected him, earning a small chuckle.

“I’m just saying, {Name}.” Jungkook shook his head playfully. “She should be grateful, instead of treating you so negatively. If it weren’t for you, then she wouldn’t be where she is now. The only reason she’s a model is because you managed to get your eomeoni to make her one her company’s models. And—” a small, teasing smirk then grew on Jungkook’s lips. “—I even persuaded BigHit to make her one the extras in our music video just to get a certain guy’s attention...”

Your eyes instantly widened. “So that’s why she suddenly got a temporary job at BigHit!” You exclaimed, jabbing your finger accusingly at Jungkook’s chest. “You needed to make a reason for me to approach you and ask how she got one there.”

“It worked, didn’t it?” Jungkook smiled proudly.

You just rolled your eyes. “You told me that she auditioned to be an extra in your music video. So you lied to me then?”

“Of course I did,” instantly spewed out of him. “I couldn’t tell you my plan, could I?”

“Jeon Jeongguk,” you spoke with such seriousness in your voice but still had a small grin on your lips. “You’re quite the strategist, aren’t you? How did you know that was going to work on me?”

“Because I could just tell you’re a family man.” Jungkook answered, smiling. “And I knew that if I got your cousin a job you’d have to come and ask me about it.”

You couldn’t help yourself from chuckling and shaking your head. “Oh my god, you’re insane.” You knew exactly when and what music video he was talking about too. “I’ve heard that it took nearly triple the amount of takes to film that music video than usually does for a normal one and that Jiyoo was the reason for it,” you mentioned. “Was it worth it? To go through all that trouble just to get my attention?”

“For you,” Jungkook’s voice softened, making your heart skip a beat. “Of course.”

And that’s when your heart completely bursted. “You know you could’ve just come up and talk to me, right?”

“Yeah, but what’s the fun in that.” Jungkook shrugged, smirking and heart fluttering at the sight of your laughing expression. “It’s all about that first impression, and there’s nothing better than being known as the guy that secretly got your family member a job at one of the most well-known companies in South Korea.”

You just shook your head again playfully. “Alright, stupid.”

Jungkook pouted, “Hey, you were happy when you found out, weren’t you?”

You couldn’t stop yourself from laughing and nudging his shoulder, “Yes, I was happy. Thank you, Kookie.”

Jungkook’s heart stopped and felt himself freeze in his spot, causing you turn to face him with a confused expression. You didn’t realize what you just said—and, he hasn’t heard you call him by that in a long long time.

“Are you alright?”

Jungkook instantly nodded, clearing his throat. “Y-Yeah, yeah I’m fine. Let’s go.”

As you two continued to walk through the mall, Jungkook would now always glance your way even when you two weren’t conversing. And he couldn’t help but stare at the wide smile that accompanied your face and the bright glint in your eyes.

You looked truly stunning.

He couldn’t remember the last time you were actually genuinely happy, and it pained him that he was reason for that.

Noticing the puzzled look on Jungkook’s face, you stopped. “Hey, are you sure you’re okay?”

“Yeah, I-I am.” No, he wasn’t. “Actually, there’s something I need to tell you.”

You raised a brow, urging him to continue.

“Listen,” Jungkook’s voice was trembling, hands shaking as well. “I’m sorry—” the sound of his phone suddenly ringing interrupted him, and when he went to check on it, the name that flashed on the screen left you both speechless.

incoming call: babygirl

Jungkook glanced back at you, heart clenching when seeing the smile on your face and glint in your eyes instantly vanish. “{Name}—”

“We should head back, it’s almost ten.”

“No, {Name} wait—” Jungkook tried to call you out but you were already walking away, leaving him behind.

“Fuck!” Jungkook cursed loudly, glancing back down at his phone and staring at the name that flashed brightly on his screen before pressing the ‘decline’ button and rushing after you.

“So, how was the date?”

That was the first thing your mother said when Jungkook opened the door for her, allowing her to step inside and taking a sleeping Minho from her arms.

You were busy taking a shower.

“It went...alright,” was Jungkook’s answer and your mother could instantly hear the hesitation in his voice.

“Just alright? So nothing happened then?” Jungkook nodded, and her smile dropped. “Why?”

“It’s not easy, eomeoni.” Jungkook started, “{Name} and I have baggage that we haven’t really talked about yet and—”

“—and this was the perfect opportunity to talk and fix everything,” your mother interrupted. “Listen, Jungkook. I don’t think you want your marriage to end. I just think you’re scared that you messed up so bad that it’s unfixable, so you won’t even try.”

Jungkook opened his mouth, but no words came out so he just slowly nodded.

“Then this is your chance, honey.” Your mother was always fond of Jungkook, and she refused to believe that your guys’ marriage was failing. “Tomorrow, make some plans for a family day. You know how much {Name} love those type of days.”

Jungkook nodded. “It’ll be a way for you three to reconnect, because I know this whole thing has been tough for Minho too.”

The sound of Jungkook’s phone ringing again made him tense, and judging from the sudden change of his demeanor your mother instantly knew who was calling him. “And you also need to make a decision.”

Again, Jungkook nodded. “Yes, eomeoni.”

“Alright, well I should get going.” With his free hand, Jungkook reached over and opened the door for your mother. But before she left, she said one last thing that left him speechless and heart dropping.

“This is your last chance to fix your relationship, Jungkook. Because once this trip is over—so will be your marriage.”

“I-I understand, eomeoni.”

After your mother left and putting Minho to bed, Jungkook found himself pacing around anxiously in his room with his phone in hand. Glancing down on at the screen, he then called the person that has been running through his mind for past half-hour.

“Hey, baby.” Yeonha voice rang through his ear. “I’ve been trying to call you—”

“We need to talk, Yeonha.”

this is just the beginning... ;)

TAGLIST:

@xworldwidecutieguyx, @yoongis-soulmate, @jikookvfans, @heartfeltscribblings,@chrissfuk, @blazedprince, @btsfaris, @sonderkook, @angel-moni, @http-je0n, @magic-fox-555, @moonfairyjoon, @taozibun1, @ephemeralkookie, @thesquiglybumblebee, @httpjazel, @justqueerandhereforthetea, @dreamer95, @singabon-roll, @its-your-dreamworld, @fancykoos, @galaxyeyedjungkook, @nlnkm, @you-need-namjesus, @teuteusstuff, @moon-asia, @julia-pacheco-blog, @0minabean0, @pjmislovely, @polly-wifu, @jinsonaz, @unsolvetheheckoutofit

#bonnyskies #bts #bts series #bts angst #bts x reader #bts x male reader #jeon jungkook #jeon jungkook series #jeon jungkook angst #jeon jungkook x reader #jeon jungkook x male reader #jungkook #jungkook series #jungkook angst #jungkook x reader #jungkook x male reader #bts au #jeon jungkook au #jungkook au

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medea10 · 3 years ago

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My Review of Higurashi no Naku Koro Ni SOTSU

Prior thoughts here…

Look, I love Higurashi. I really do! But I can’t be the only person to hate Satoko Hojo when it was discovered what she did in Gou. That really tainted Higurashi Gou, which was doing okay up until that point. Now, does Satoko redeem herself and realize that she was petty, vindictive, misunderstood everything, and is absolutely in the wrong? Judging by what some of the seiyuus said after recording and reading the script, they felt weird and off by the material.

That’s very troubling!

Moving on! Our main story tonight is about Hinamizawa. A rural Japanese town with a rich history in religion, colorful characters which you can tell from the hair, and annoying, screeching cicadas! We see you, you dirt-bath twats!

Sorry, I really wanted to do a John Oliver moment here.

PREVIOUSLY ON HIGURASHI GOU: Rika’s suffering has gotten exponentially worse than in previous seasons. We’ve seen Rika die continuously and worse than what was shown to us in the original series. Not only that, but she was murdered by people who never caused Rika any harm prior including Akasaka, Akane Sonozaki, Chief Kimiyoshi, Ooishi, and even Keiichi. Who is to blame for this? That would be Rika’s best friend Satoko Hojo. Satoko was willing to make Rika happy by going along with Rika’s endeavors of leaving Hinamizawa and attending a prestigious all-girls school. And while Rika adjusted to her surroundings perfectly, Satoko was slipping through the cracks. Rika offered a helping hand to her, but Satoko was so stubborn and jumped to every wrong conclusion, thinking Rika abandoned her.

It wasn’t until the girls took a trip back to Hinamizawa that Satoko’s world changed. In the altar of Oyashiro, she is transferred to the limbo and comes face-to-face with a deity much like Hanyuu. We’re pretty sure her name is Featherine…but for some reason Satoko called her Eua so I guess that’s her name in the Higurashi universe. Eua gives Satoko the special power to control her fate and she literally abuses it at every turn to force Rika to stay in Higurashi and change every outcome from every timeline Rika’s been through.

SOTSU: I think we were all thinking throughout the Gou series, we haven’t watched enough episodes of Rena losing her shit and go on a murderous rampage. Or for that matter, we haven’t even watched Mion strap someone down and take off their fingernails! So remember episodes 1-4 of Gou? Apparently the first 3 episodes of Sotsu show how Rena lost her mind in that timeline, the next three episodes followed Mion’s descent into madness, and we follow that up with Teppei living with Satoko. Gou only told part of the story. Satoko drugged all of these people in order to screw with Rika. I mean no one needed to see Rika get strangled and thrown in the outdoor toilet. Yet we got that scene. Thanks series, thanks a fuck-ton for that.

And yes, we indeed got the fingernail scene.

But don’t get it twisted with what I just said. Only some of these scenes are new compared to what was given and shown in Gou. To be mean about it, Sotsu is on par with Endless Eight from Haruhi Suzumiya. But give Endless Eight some credit. It was only eight episodes. We’ve got 13 episodes of almost the same exact crap we watched six months prior in the previous season.

MORE REDEMPTION: Last arc, we kinda got redemptions of several characters near the end from Miyo Takano and Teppei Hojo. I obviously didn’t believe the latter. Teppei was scum in the original series. Not a redeeming thing about him and everyone knows it. This character however was runner-up as scum of Hinamizawa.

Rina Mamiya or Ritsuko dated Rena’s father and it set Rena off. In the original series, Rena’s father would spend butt-loads of money on Ritsuko. And the original plan was a bit of a badger game. The man would spend amounts of cash on Ritsuko until eventually her real man comes in and yells at the other man for messing with his girl until he pays the real man off to leave him alone. And that system was put out by Ritsuko and Teppei.

Sotsu worked a little differently. Due to Teppei’s…redemp…redemp…Nope, can’t do it! Teppei’s out of the picture and now Ritsuko is working in a gentleman’s club. Rena’s father goes there constantly and showers Ritsuko with gifts. Ritsuko gets concerned. That never happens. We see a shred of humanity with her. She mentions that she was raised by a single parent and came to Rena to convince her father to stop doing this. And if Satoko didn’t drug Rena, it would have been awesome to see this happen. I want Rena to be happy.

I WAS AFRAID OF THIS: As this season progressed, I noticed these previous arcs that we’re watching are coming from Satoko’s point of view. Unfortunately, it’s just making myself and many others lose every respect we once had for Satoko. She goes through different timelines drugging people and fucking with Rika. So once we got to the third arc, I was afraid of seeing something with my own eyes. Satoko faking abuse! She is not being abused by her uncle. She is not being abused by the townspeople nor her classmates. She is faking abuse to both piss off her uncle and worry her friends. That is some sick-ass shit!

ENDING: Up to this point, we watched Satoko’s hand in ruining Rika’s perfect timeline. During Higurashi Gou, we weren’t sure who the true culprit was. Higurashi Sotsu came in and had Satoko drug Rena, Mion, Detective Ooishi, Akasaka, Akane Sonozaki, Chief Kimiyoshi, and even Keiichi. Not just that, but lie and manipulate people, particularly in the second-to-last arc of Sotsu.

Many of us (myself included) were a little disappointed in the carryout of the story. Sotsu was essentially Gou, but from Satoko’s angle. In every other Higurashi story prior to this train-wreck, the timelines felt like they were their own story and not recycled garbage. It wasn’t until the episodes with Hanyuu leaving Rika that we got a few questions answered. The sword Hanyuu left Rika was in Oyashiro’s statue. It’s just that Satoko got to it first and a baby piece broke off, leaving Rika unsatisfied. Also, Rika’s flashbacks are giving her some clues. Or could it be Hanyuu leaving Rika the clues?

Hanyuu went to investigate these messed up timelines and sure enough, she encountered Eua. But Eua is clearly more powerful and has an upper-hand in her own realm so she does overpower Hanyuu. Hanyuu learns the truth that Satoko was behind everything and that Eua has been manipulating her along the way. She also watches Rika fall into despair and give up her future goal of one day leaving Hinamizawa. Instead, Rika is going to stay in Hinamizawa and Satoko gets what she wants. Never count out luck when Hanyuu is involved! Rika has been getting flashbacks of the timeline when Ooishi went on the rampage. And sure enough, one of those flashes were of Satoko shooting Rika in the face to make sure she was dead.

Rika knows Satoko is the reason behind the influx of deaths in these timelines. What now?

Satoko kills Rika. REPEATEDLY! And it just goes from timeline to timeline, from Hinamizawa to St. Lucia, from the Cotton Drifting Festival to the classroom! Now, I will admit some of these fights were funny to watch. In one of those times, Satoko kills Rika and in the distance, Rena, Mion, and Keiichi are not noticing a damn thing. That was funny! And then you have Rika and Satoko killing each other over the fact that Satoko doesn’t want to study.

This episode-long slug-fest was like Peter Griffin vs. Ernie the Giant Chicken. It went on far too long. And it was worse because you know Satoko is in the wrong.

Yes, I am on Team Rika in this fight. Rika offered a hand to Satoko. Satoko refused help. Rika didn’t snitch on Satoko. Rika wants to go as far as humanly possible away from the town that caused her so much pain. If you spent hundreds of years in the same year, the same month, in the same town, suffering a myriad of ways to die, wouldn’t you want to take the next bus the fuck outta there? Satoko took a petty fight into a full-blown, time-leaping, friend-killing, witches and Gods holy war! Oh yeah, let’s look at Eua and Hanyuu. Eua seems to have the upper-hand here, but Hanyuu and Rika always have miracles on their side. It might be a 1 out of 1000 shot for them, but they have miracles coming out of their asses. Thankfully, Hanyuu was able to defeat Eua and the girls stopped their fight. After some wise words from Rena, the girls came to a sensible conclusion of giving each other some space to keep being friends.

Rika’s going to St. Lucia and Satoko isn’t. They will remain frenemies, I guess? Satoko will stalk Rika if she’s away too long or doesn’t phone home as often. Geez bitch, clingy much? And we end the series with the classic Higurashi song “You” as we see all the other minor characters we loved from the series. Ooishi is visiting his friend’s grave, Takano (not pregnant) and Tomitake coming back to town, Ritsuko’s alive, Teppei’s alive (and not a horrible human being anymore), everyone’s alive, and Satoko doesn’t learn her lesson. The bitch gets what she wants. This series is shit.

And what’s this? Of all the arcs for Satoshi to wake up and have Hinamizawa Syndrome clear up, it had to be this one! I can’t even begin to describe my disgust here. But I couldn’t because the scene was so fast, I had to contain myself.

OH MY FUCKING GOD! I FUCKING HATED THIS ARC! I HATED THIS ANIME! I HATED, HATED, HATED THIS ANIME! HATED IT! HATED EVERY SIMPERING STUPID VACANT AUDIENCE-INSULTING MOMENT OF IT!

Sorry to get all Roger Ebert on you guys but it had to be said.

Higurashi once had an art to telling the story with repeating and similar timelines. It made it feel like you’re not sitting through 13 episodes of something you already sat through with only a few minutes of new footage. Sotsu went the route of Haruhi Suzumiya’s Endless Eight. You fail, dude! That’s a fail! Each episode up until episode 13 or 14 is primarily the same shit we saw in Gou. With the exception of a few scenes like with Ritsuko, Kimiyoshi’s horrible torture, and evil Satoko moments, it was a shot-for-shot repeat from last season. And it was especially slow and repetitive during the Satoko abuse arc.

I know I went off in the last review about how much Satoko sucks, but she really fucking sucks here. Satoko wasn’t like this at all in the original series. She loved all of her friends, not just Rika. She loved her nii-nii! She cared for Keiichi and sees him as a pro-temp nii-nii. And she cared for Shion, Mion, and Rena. This season with Satoko all I see is manipulation of every character that cared for her, even the minor ones and only care about Rika. Satoshi wasn’t even a passing thought. In fact, not once did Satoko feel the need to talk about her nii-nii except when it was to manipulate Keiichi. She fakes everything! She faked her nii-nii talk with Keiichi, doesn’t give a crap about Shion’s love for her, faked being bullied and lying about it to a numerous amount of people, all to fuck with Rika!

Now then, this really upset a lot of fans. I mean, a fuck-ton a lot of fans. I’m just disappointed that this exists and will spend the next several anime seasons trying to forget about everything I watched here. Eventually, I’ll move the fuck on and pretend this didn’t exist and continue to rewatch the Studio Deen version and reading the manga. But some others aren’t so lucky. This really struck a nerve to those who have been with the franchise since day one. I have a friend that’s so depressed by Gou and Sotsu’s existence, I’ve never seen her this wrecked before!

I cannot give this a good review. I cannot recommend this. It is just unwatchable. Unfathomable! Inconceivable! Unbelievable! In fact, here’s a list of Higurashi stuff I would highly recommend watching or reading before you should ever touch Higurashi Gou and Sotsu.

Higurashi Visual Novel Higurashi Manga Any Higurashi video game Higurashi Season 1 & 2 (Studio Deen version) Higurashi Rei episodes 2-4 Higurashi Outbreak Higurashi Cat-Killing Special Higurashi Rei episodes 1 & 5 The live action TV series from 2016 Umineko no Naku Koro Ni (anime) A 10 hour loop of Keiichi’s sea bear dangling Higurashi no Naku Koro Ni Kira That one episode of Last Period featuring the cast of Higurashi Live Action Higurashi from 2008 Staring at a still-shot of Detective Ooishi wearing a thong from Higurashi Rei episode 1 for five minutes Scratching your neck until you see maggots come out

THEN…no, I don’t think you’re ready to watch Higurashi Gou and Sotsu.

Avoid it like the plague.

What a waste of Studio Passione’s semi-decent animation!

#anime review #Higurashi no Naku Koro ni #higurashi no naku koro ni sotsu #higurashi no naku koro ni gou #keiichi maebara #Rika Furude #satoko hojo #mion sonozaki #shion sonozaki #rena ryuugu #teppei hojo #miyo takano #eua

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murasaki-murasame · 4 years ago

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Thoughts on Higurashi Gou Ep15

*bonk*

Actual thoughts under the cut, lol [Plus Umineko spoilers]

lmao where do I even begin with this episode.

In a lot of ways this is really reminding me of why Gou seems to be so polarizing with people, especially with old fans. Even after this episode I’m still on the side of really liking it.

On the one hand I think it’s been a good thing that Gou has had less focus on gore and violence compared to the original anime [and the VN to a lesser extent], but on the other hand I think this episode actually worked really well, specifically because of how relatively devoid of on-screen gore the first three arcs were. It makes this episode stand out way more when it’s such a step in intensity above everything that came before it.

But other than the sheer violence and horror of it all, and how off-putting that is to a lot of people, I think part of why it’s so polarizing is that this episode also has a dark comedy vibe to it, where the show is totally aware of how over the top it all is. I can see why this sort of tone might not work at all for a lot of people, and might seem outright disrespectful towards Rika as a character and the Vn in general, but I enjoyed it, since I like this sort of humour.

I also don’t think it’s that weird at all for Ryukishi to embrace the potential for dark comedy through violence. There’s already some elements of that in Umineko.

It’s also pretty obvious that the entire point of these loops was to show how Rika is getting killed almost immediately, before she has any real time to think or strategize or investigate. So I think it was necessary for us to go through it so fast in order to properly put us in Rika’s shoes as she goes through this almost rapid-fire series of comically abrupt and tragic deaths. I don’t really think that dragging this part out over more episodes would have worked as well because of that.

I do have some issues with how we’ve seen so little to do with Rika actually trying to investigate stuff, but I still like how this episode was handled.

Anyway, this does give us more clues about what’s going on with the overall mystery, both in terms of what was shown, and what wasn’t shown across these loops.

The only info we really get in each of these loops is that some seemingly random person goes fully L5 and kills Rika [and usually lots of other people as well], and that it’s happening at a way faster pace than it ever happened before. But on the other hand, there’s still no real references made to the GHD [aside from Kimiyoshi talking about the swamp gas, which isn’t quite the same thing], and Takano and Tomitake weren’t mentioned or shown at all. Same with Irie, I guess. The way that people seem to keep going L5 extremely quickly, along with the references to parasites and whatnot, feels like it’s a result of Takano injecting people with the syringe she used on Tomitake originally, and/or giving people her notes about the virus like she did with Rena in Tsumihoroboshi. But the weird thing about that is that Takano hasn’t killed Tomitake with that syringe yet in Gou, and the way these loops play out just doesn’t really feel like it matches her whole MO.

If we go with the idea that everything with her is exactly the same as it is in the vN, then the Kimiyoshi loop in particular is weird, because having Rika get dumped in the swamp would make it very hard for Takano to execute the GHD. Maybe she just didn’t plan for it to play out that way, but that’d be a kinda lame answer. This also reminds me of Rika getting dumped in the septic tank in Watadamashi, which was another murder method that seemed like it’d risk having her body only be found more than two days after she died.

There’s also the fact that in the other loops, Rika’s death isn’t set up in a way to make it look like it’s some sort of ritualistic part of the curse. This is probably less important, but Takano did apparently always set Rika’s body up at the shrine in the arcs where she kills her, because part of her whole plan was to have Rika’s death play into the curse narrative. But in basically every loop in Gou thus far, Rika’s just died in random ways, and usually there’s been obvious human culprits who killed her. So it just doesn’t really feel like Takano’s work, even though she seems like the obvious person to be setting up all these random killers.

She also only ever used that syringe on Tomitake to kill him at the festival. I don’t think she ever used it on someone with the intent of using them to kill Rika, so that’s another way in which the whole method of the ‘mastermind’ feels different to Takano. If anything it seems kinda overly complicated for Takano to do it this way, and to do it with different people each time, instead of just killing Rika herself like she does in the VN. Her whole character is defined by her unwavering will, and her desire to achieve her own dreams for herself, so having Rika get killed ‘indirectly’ in an almost randomized way seems very weird if we assume she’s still behind it. If anything, it reminds me a lot more of how the ‘roulette’ works in Umineko, lol.

In general this episode really hammered in the fact that whoever’s behind all this seems to be going out of their way to screw with Rika, and that they’re maybe acting on the fly in response to Rika’s actions, and choosing what options they think will mess with her the most in each arc. I might be wrong about that, but considering how much they seem to be leaning into this being a Bern origin story, and Featherine literally showing up in the OP, I can totally imagine that the motive of the mastermind this time is pretty much just pure sadism.

Even though Featherine is probably the one who made this new gameboard to begin with, I wouldn’t be surprised if this ends up being more like a game between Bern and Lambda, where Lambda is just toying with Bern by sticking her in this seemingly hopeless loop that’s designed to drive her to despair.

Gou still runs the risk of going off the deep end in a bad way if it leans that hard into the Umineko connections, but this whole turn of events is REALLY making this feel like a Bern origin story. And tbh I still think that any Umineko connections will end up being explained well enough within the context of Gou on it’s own that you won’t have to read all of Umineko to understand it. It’s entirely possible that they could touch upon the meta stuff in a way that’s framed more around Higurashi’s whole aesthetic, and never mention concepts like witches and gameboards. They could just frame it all in terms of gods, demons, loopers, fragments, etc. Which would help make it more digestible for people who haven’t read Umineko.

Anyway, now that we’re down to just one more loop before Rika decides to end it all, my guess is that the last two episodes of this arc will cover her ‘final loop’, but then one way or another we’ll get one more loop covering one big final arc. I’m not sure exactly how it’ll play out, but I think that either something will happen in the next loop to give her new hope to keep going, or she’ll end up being unable to actually go through with killing herself. Like, maybe she’ll use the sword fragment on herself and it won’t actually succeed in killing her permanently, or maybe at the start of the loop after the next one she’ll go to the shrine to retrieve the sword fragment only to find that it’s not even there in that loop. And since we already technically had Rika gaining a new burst of hope to keep going earlier in this arc, I’m leaning more towards the option of her trying to kill herself and being unable to. But we’ll see.

With how these last loops went, it really makes me wonder how Rika would even be able to figure anything out about the mystery with just one more loop. The mastermind seems determined to kill her as quickly as possible now, and it feels like she’s already become resigned to her fate. Especially with what happened with Akasaka, I don’t think she’s going to bother putting any real effort into reaching out to anyone in the next loop.

If the next arc is just one big answer arc to tie everything together, I assume that by the end of this arc we’ll know who the mastermind is. Which at this point probably has something to do with Satoko, one way or another.

This is also making me more convinced that Gou will just be 24 episodes and not have a second season or anything. After the whole ‘five more loops’ thing I thought maybe we’d get a second season, but now that they just straight up speed ran through four of them, that seems way less likely, lol. It’s possible that things will take a total left turn after this, and we’ll still get a second season with it’s own set of arcs, but it seems less likely now.

But on the other hand I still wonder how the next arc would be able to answer everything, especially from the perspective of new fans. There’s still stuff like Rena and Shion’s backstories that haven’t really been touched upon at all yet, and we still need to get answers about what went down in the first three arcs. I guess they might not each get their own full answer arcs, but there’s still only so much time left.

I guess it’s entirely possible that they just won’t bother explaining everything, especially in terms of backstory stuff, but that’s feel kinda disappointing. So I’d want a second season if only just to give them more time to go over the answers.

The fact that they’re still not doing much of anything with Takano and Tomitake also still makes me wonder even more if they’re going to bother getting into their whole deal in Gou, and all the exposition that would require. If we don’t get a second season then it really doesn’t feel like there’d be enough time for all that, on top of everything else that needs to be explained.

But I still think that Takano’s role in this is fundamentally different to the VN, so I think they’ll just side-step that whole issue entirely. I dunno if she’ll be completely irrelevant, but her role might require a lot less time spent on her backstory and development than what happened in the VN.

Though really at this point it seems pretty obvious that the whole climax and end goal of Gou is gonna be totally different to the VN, so I doubt they’re just gonna speedrun the events of Matsuribayashi in the last arc or something. If anything, the Akasaka loop kinda felt like an intentional hint toward the idea that he’s not going to be Rika’s savior again like in the VN, so the whole final arc will probably be different.

I don’t think anyone can say for sure how this will all end, but if this really is some kind of Bern origin story, then I think it’ll end with Rika giving into despair. Or maybe if I’m right about the meta framing of Gou as a whole, Rika will figure out that this is all just fiction, and she’ll just return to the ‘real world’ like when you realize that you’re dreaming and it makes you wake up. Which might be a kinda unsatisfying way to end this, but I’d be very surprised if we get a genuinely happy ending out of this.

Also, if this is setting up for some kind of Umineko anime remake, then it might make a lot more sense for this to have an abrupt and ‘inconclusive’ ending. Which would definitely piss a lot of people off, but since I really want an Umineko anime remake I’d be happy about it, lol.

Anyway, another thing I wanna mention is that this episode is really highlighting how we just haven’t really gotten definitive proof yet about if Rika actually knows about Takano and the GHD and whatnot. The whole concept of this seemingly unwinnable loop feels kinda strange when we haven’t even seen her do anything about Takano. And the idea that she’s just been doing that off-screen is feeling more and more unsatisfying as time goes on. But either way, if she knows that Takano’s behind everything, then surely that should give her a concrete goal to try and overcome. And it’s not like the events of each loop thus far necessarily contradict the idea of Takano being behind it all again [even though I think she isn’t], since Rika should know about Takano’s ability to artificially push people to go L5. She should also know that Takano’s the one who pushes the whole parasite idea onto people, like Rena in Tsumihoroboshi.

This still might just be iffy writing caused by Gou trying to have it’s cake and eat it too by getting into Rika’s POV without spoiling that whole plot point for new fans, but that’d just kinda suck at this point. I much prefer the idea that this version of Rika doesn’t actually know what’s going on with Takano, since it’d explain her apparent passivity towards her, and why she seems to be at a complete loss for what to do in these loops.

Also, on the whole note of the potential Umineko connections, this whole episode really reminded me of ep5 of Umineko, where Lambda sets up a ‘game without love’ where she violates the heart of the story while still having everyone do things that they’re technically capable of doing. It kinda feels like the mastermind is really just treating this like a game where their goal is to mentally break down Rika, and they’re messing around with exploiting as many different pieces as possible to see what they can do. It also reminds me of Bern saying at the end of Matsuribayashi that she wanted to go find a fragment where Akasaka went evil, lol. In general it just has a very ‘witch-y’ sort of vibe to it, in terms of the apparent sadism and random cruelty.

Bern also spent all of Umineko ep7 going out of her way to tear out the guts of the story for the sake of cruelty, so it’s pretty fitting that this sort of thing is happening to Rika here, lol.

Anyway, I really don’t know what to expect from the rest of this arc, let alone the next one, but I’m still enjoying this a whole lot.

#murasaki rambles #higurashi #higurashi gou #ryukishi heard y'all was talkin shit about Gou not being gory enough u_u

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