#Rusanya Writes

[anendoandfriendo]

Us being a protogenic-endogenic system, and also a generative system, it's always odd to us to see people talk about it as if the growth and just being a system is suffering, because to us NOT growing and NOT being a system is suffering. So we kind of have to stop ourselves from going like:

You don't want friend???? You don't want found friend???? You kick friend out like a sad lost puppy????

No hugs? Cuddles? No small acts of love? But waking up to the projection of your headmate when he shifts a little trying not to wake you up is adorable. That's...not something people want? :( Like sure the external world can do that too and singlets can do that too but it's not the same. It hits different when the person in question is in your own brain. Double the hug!!! Double the cuddle!!! It's an endless feedback loop until one of us stops!! :D

And also, pinging a more generalized "good morning" and getting hundreds of pings back in return is the most amazing feeling ever.

Also describing in-headspace events to singlets when we do manage to get a connection between frontspace and backspace + someone manages to write it down. Those mf'ers would probably ask us "who needs drugs when you have...whatever is going on in THERE?" which validates both our plurality and also the fact we can be a fucking freak without doing the drugs thing (the sex and drugs hellsite here needs to understand those are not the only two ways to be on the margins).

None of us can really *do* math the way people think it means, but 💜 seems to be able to grasp some of the more abstract concepts in our POD3 training. 💜 is also like, fifteen, so someone else keeps having to drag xem out of the front because "you literally just got here, please let the adults do this until we can figure out how you actually function," and such. Pretty much everyone would feel bad if a systeen got burnt out because of us. And other our-system-is-literally-the-size of-a-village-right-now moments.

Okay but fr does anyone else know the feeling of amazement when you see headmates projecting themselves from your brain and out of the window, so you can see them like playing and stuff? Like everyone knows it's physically impossible to interact with the actual environment in that state but it's nice to see/feel/know about that people can get along this well.

SMXWHCNNLQ WE DO NOT GENERALLY AGE UNLESS WE WANT TO. Either that, or it is very weird since there is at least a lower limit. But we saw Elise very specifically choose how to age up and when, and to what age, which does mean we probably do have some semblance of a choice in our system. It brings us a lot of joy to have seen someone plan things out to that degree and take such pride in it, actually.

So like, yes, people who don't want growth are perfectly valid and fine; we aren't their system, we're The Rusanya Collective of Systems (RCS)/The Rusanya Polyplex. But like sometimes we see people complain about splitting, growing, or just gaining a new member as like some inherently awful thing that must have had a reason for it. We wanted to propose the alternative, which is, no it's not inherently horrible. There's not always a reason for it either. The former statement can set your free if you want it to, and latter is not a bad thing.

[anendoandfriendo]

Compiled Masterlist of Masterlists on What Was Originally Endogenic Systems Specifically that Rusanya Has Compiled Over Time but Turned Into a General Plurality Compilation

Mainly because we offered to share with @/simpleskull200 for the sake of writing. But also we see a LOT of proof lists all of the time, maybe it's about time to compile the compilations?

So we went ahead and compiled the compilations anyways.

May be edited as time goes on and we find more stuff.

Masterlists

An Endogenic Proof Masterlist by Plural Anomaly

Endogenic and Non-Traumagenic Plurality Resources by Guardians System

General Plurality Resources Document & Website Dump by unknown

Cool Inclusive Accounts To Ask

@pluralpcs - specifically about plural characters and how to play them in TTRPGs such as Dungeons and Dragons (DnD), but may have something for writers. Run by @livseses who's pretty cool and a system friend of ours.

@writing-plurals - Pretty inclusive and helps if you need generalizations on plural experiences in prose.

@pluralprompts - Plural writing prompts!!!

@xxlovelynovaxx - Another cool system friend of ours. WILL usually get into the nitty gritty details with you once you've grasped plurality as a basic concept if you engage with faer in good faith.

@sophieinwonderland - Is extremely good at sourcing just...EVERYTHING...but is also discourse/syscourse-heavy. A lot of people shit-talk her because at least ioo they're mad she can back up her claims, do it well, and not become a writhing mess of anger like her shit-talkers do.

Again. May be edited as time goes on and we find and dig up more stuff.

[anendoandfriendo]

*Annoyed Rusanya noises*

*Writes a note but it's just labelled "SYNESTHESIA???" in large capital letters with arrows pointing to both the word otherkin and the word therian*

Someone is having a debate about themself today, apparently. This is why we don't usually say things/ask questions past 10PM, because it leads to this kind of thing in the morning.

[anendoandfriendo]

We have the worst kind of love/hate work relationship with the SMEs, they're so helpful at times and they appreciate our level of detail!

...Probably a bit too much though LMAO because sometimes we will override what they just said because of shit like this (from a vent chat in Discord):

{A discord screenshot with the username removed. It states:

"What part of "Tier Two told us to use this RFC and not the one you provided," do these SMEs not fucking understand?

Weather or not another RFC fits better is irrelevant at that point because Tier Two is literally us talking to the fucking client

(internal screaming noises)" in reference to Rusanya working with their SME coworkers.}

Also we constantly ask for things in writing that aren't in writing. Like certain replacement policies for [DEVICE] so while we don't technically replace [DEVICE] they are now covering themselves when we ask if we can send over courtesy product instead. :D Which they allow because they just told us we couldn't replace and that wasn't in writing anywhere else but the SME's response. :D

[anendoandfriendo]

A vent about terms and a vent about people and some not-quite word art

We're getting tired of people spreading misinformation about soulbonds real fucking fast, let us tell you that. As if we were sick of it before? Seriously?

It's largely focused on people who'd be considered "well-known fictional" in this universe, but that's not the only way to do SB or to be an SB. Is this truly the difference between factive and fictive? What hapoens when you are the soulbond instead? The initial communities were literally focused on what fandom would call "OCs" but even beyond that, the literal only definition is that you are multiversal at some point.

Gateway Headmate? You fuckin' mean a Day Tripper, the language was always there. Not that it didn't take effort to find it ourselves.

Walk-In? You mean Permanent Resident??? Again, the language was always there. Not that it didn't take effort to find it ourselves.

We aren't trying to be mean when we say this, and more terms is always good, but there are some terms that sound like...exactly the same to us. Everything is the same though, to be fair. Another day at Walmart. Another sameass day feeling like a fucking failure. Maybe it's just that we had the ability to actually look this stuff up and are used to checking obscure things out. We've never felt so in the shadows before. We are sick of shining, the ornament to the tree. Have you ever just wanted to disappear or not exist? Maybe it's something else. At this point we've chosen to accept that we don't understand and move on, but sometimes we just wonder if people just straight up never looked into it. We still lie to our body's mother about where we work. She'll never look into it, huh? We hear they don't like, teach you a lot of critical thinking skills or research skills in school anymore unless you're in an honors class what do you folks do these days? we think it's been almost a decade since weve been in high school and that's just...shitty, because this is how you end up with so much cannibalizing of the community we think.

And while we are definitely NOT old by any means we feel like we are in a very different plane than some of the folks who are just now discovering their systems. We havent seen our second cousin since she was three because of our shitty ex-partner-system, and shes in like fifth grade now. She has only ever heard of us, we want to explain ourselves so bad. And if we're protogenic...is she gonna be okay? We figured it out smack dab in the middle of when plurality was Very Niche and when it was Starting To Become Visible. We figured it out maybe...2018? We think? We still get people in our system, crying they want to go home lol. That'd be our second year in uni. And so we can't relate to Ye Olde Systemes like The Crisses to Astrea as much but we also can't see ourselves relating to AimKid and her system, or literally anyone later than 2020 — and that's not even mentioning that 2020 was the start of the COVID-19 pandemic, therefore making us feel pushed even further away from that direction. We are chronically lonely.

Like. We don't know. It could just be that we feel fucky-wucky. Our system name is very visible outside of Tumblr. Hah! Imagine that: were seen yet again, overtaken by our own brigthness. Again. We actually wouldn't be surprised if some folks initially followed us because of that.

Please allow us to feel bitter for just a few seconds before we put this plaster back on.

Please allow just a few seconds for us to cry.

It's not like we don't like to help, we just feel like...

Why does anyone trust what we say?

...folks take what we say out of context. Maybe it's how we use words compared to some folks. Or that we use larger ones.

People really just think we're "smart" huh?

They could do this too if they tried. Not really. Yes they could. No they couldn't. Back and forth all over again, debating weather to keep hoping.

We have no choice but to have a larger well of hope than other people, why don't folks get that?

It is not in human nature to detract; it is in their nature to want more. Small difference.

To The Eras: it is, indeed, possible to care about human beings and not their social norms. Shut the fuck up about how we're black-and-white. We were much more grey than you ever were, you just mistook a strong opinion for a naive one.

We have understood everything up to this point.

Allow us a moment to beat the shit outta something, or someone. We never got our justice.

Or allow us to be bitter and cry before we put this plaster back on. Because that definitely helps.

So why is it. That people can't shut the fuck up? Why can't we seem to chase them away, back to the shadows they came from?

Hi. We're people lol.

[anendoandfriendo]

Hello!

AKA the Forever-WIP Post

We're The Rusanya Collective, or just "Rusanya" collectively. We're a protogenic-endogenic (or, to simplify, recursigenic) system of over 300 folks, many of who consider themselves factual fictives and/or soulbonds.

We'd like to think we're some form of queer for the most part, but we haven't really had a good chance to interact with an offline culture yet (we plan to work on this AT SOME POINT but we just got a promotion at our new job and like, are trying to recover from retail & other assorted bullshit).

We like to look at pretty art on this website and read & write stories even if we don't do that much anymore and listen to podcasts. We like video games and watching TV & movies and working on our headspace & simply plural and trying to be happy on our social media while being open as an Autistic system.

We have a cat who is called Cookie. We have a double BA in psychology and social justice from which we graduated in 2020 with. We are just learning to cook in general but especially with a slow cooker, which is better for our ADHD. We actually like living in our current apartment, which has been much better for our overall health (especially mental health) which is important to us.

We don't really have a DNI but we do block if we feel like we don't want you here. You could've been a bigot or maybe you just set us off talking about potato salad one too many times.

Links to Stuff

Throne Wishlist - Please?

Cash App - You can also just straight up tip us on this Tumblr but, welp, if Cash App makes you feel better we want that option to be available.

Our Pillowfort Account, Our SpaceHey, Our Cohost, & Our Aethy Account (18+) - If shit hits the fan with Tumblr, these are where you can maybe find us. If you are mutuals with us or we know who you were/are while we were at university you may also message us for our Discord but we cannot guarantee we will actually hand it out 'cause of our personal anxiety stuff.

Sideblogs

@rusanya-does-edits - Our new edit blog!! We made it because we've made so many of them we just figured this would be easier on us. XD

@rusanyas-sunshine - We're bringing this back because we've realized we have a lot of things we need to hear and none of them are supposed to be mean.

Directory for headmates' sideblogs. We don't use our own sideblogs too often, but we like having them anyways. Feel free to follow and block whomever if you want to keep up with certain folks or avoid others.

Other

We're the queue mutual lol, that is to say, we use both the queue and fast reblog options. Good luck with that!

Our dividers were made by @hypnosiacon, tysm for these! They're great and we like swirlies lol.

Please, please, PLEASE send us asks! We have been needing to update this for ages, but generally, these are the requisite things to keep in mind when doing so. We have those needs for personal safety/wellbeing, but like, it's also very much case by case too so if you need something just...say so? And we want to have fun too! Small talk, infodumps about special interests, cool shit, anything really, those can also go in the ask box.

If you are sending us an ask in reference to another being, please see these guidelines and read through them before you do.

If you are asking us why we do not tag posts as default, please see this specific post before you do, but feel absolutely free to ask for a tag on a per-post basis and try to link/indicate the post for us.

We probably aren't gonna bitecha in the mean way unless you're being a jerk. It can take awhile for us to get through asks but, well, we do try!

We play ClanGen sometimes, we have Pluralityclan so far, our general tag is "#rusanya plays clangen" without the quotations. We are open to others suggesting lore and details for cats who do not have planned lore/details or in-depth lore/details.

Hm. Besides that, we have a bunch of userboxes and cannot remember for the life of us where some of them have come from (except the pro-MOGAI and romanticizing plurality ones, we made those ourselves a long long time ago on our defunct account)!

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♤♤ anendoandfriendo ♤♤

~ Art from picsart ~

[A sparkly signature image. The background is the endogenic system flag, recursigenic flag, and protogenic flag. The endogenic flag has the treblesand on it. Amber from Genshin Impact is on the left side of the image; Cinderella from Disney's Cinderella and Aquamarine Hoshino from Oshi No Ko are on the right side. The words "They/Them (pl.)" sit in the bottom corner of the image.]

[anendoandfriendo]

Our Complicated Relationship to Fandoms: Why We Don't Write or Read Fanfiction Anymore

The little wiggling back in our head going:

"Are you sure? Are you SURE that you don't like this thing anymore? Absolutely, positively certain 100% that you can no longer like this thing?"

And it's...weird. We have a tense relationship with stuff that's like, satire, for lots of reasons. A shockingly small amount of it is autism compared to, like, issues of social justice and how racism has been veiled as satire before in classrooms and we've seen it first hand, and we feel like we really don't have a right to read or watch satire because of it. Like. We're part of the oppressing class here (we are white and USian).

While this is about Hetalia, we will state that the inciting incident we describe is actually about a high school lit class we were in being assigned Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain. We think we were bothered by the fact that the teacher had the class saying the n-word. Supposedly it was to teach people that this word was very commonly used back then, and that you will see it being used, and that Mark Twain was a satire writer, but there are, you know, better ways to do that than letting a bunch of white kids say a slur they aren't entitled to. We mouthed "bigger" instead, without making a single slund in our vocal cords, and hoped nobody noticed — we think maybe one kid did but nobody ever pulled us to the side about it so, we guess, thanks to that kid. We were already having panic attacks that entire day on and off so...yeah, thank you. We kind of needed someone to save our ass there or just not tell anyone else if it was noticed.

But that happened, and then unless we mixed two different things up within the same day we'd heard that some chucklefucks inside of the Hetalia fandom had dressed up as literal nazis at a museum and so we'd just had enough of it and quit the fandom and quit reading "classical" fiction because it was pretty clear to us we were Not Safe doing anything within eyesight or earshot of anybody, without getting into some kind of trouble, because of baseless assumptions people could make about us. And we're pretty sure it was a one-off incident but it was literally between 2012 and 2016, and our mother was and still is a helicopter parent who likely doesn't know how to think very well about the sources she reads from. We'd overheard this...somehow? We don't know how though. And so we just dropped the fandom like a hot potato onto the cement.

We dropped our warrior cats fandom pretty soon after because we think that's when forums were fading in popularity, and we just needed to get out of [REDACTED] and if our warrior cats fanfic was destroyed between the move from [REDACTED] to university or we had to destroy evidence of any fandom ourselves, we would do it. We can come back to it later, we said, but we figured and had a feeling it wouldn't be that easy...

And people always say that nobody cares, but like, if that was truly the case we wouldn't be suffering this exactly problem at this very exact moment, so we don't wanna hear "nobody cares Rusanya," we wanna hear promises that everyone who did us this wrong will be burned down.

It's "letting the trauma and our abusers win," if we acknowledge it in any way besides being disparaging of any of this, so projecting anything onto any character is not an option. Anything short of them giving us a pleading apology and seeing the horror in their eyes as they come onto harm in a way that allows us to see it is not satisfactory as a "winning" condition. We want to hear that Stacy died of brain cancer, or whatever, and go to her funeral just to piss on her grave. We want to see the world burn and we want the people who caused its burning to be horrified when it sears the skin off of their faces.

But that's. Literally antithetical to what we do and believe these days...do you see what we're gettin' at here?

Anyways, we never posted any of our crappy fanfiction online. We have some original writing on one or two dreamwidths we plan to revive, but we don't have fanfiction that has survived our purge. We don't know if that's a good thing or bad thing. People can't trace anything back to us and these vile thoughts, bur it'd be nice to see who wrote what in hindsight now that we've discovered our endogenicity, plurality, natural multiplicity, whatever you call it, to see who interpreted what in which kind of light and which of us vented the most by writing (and who stayed the quietest even when they did have a voice).

- Equinox, Hailey (Admin)

[anendoandfriendo]

Uuugh, seriously?

Okay, okay, so, we tried to call the [REDACTED] HR person today, like, six minutes ago, because we couldn't reach them earlier this morning either and we know HR has a lot to do. But our application has been in for at least a month by now, and we wanted to more directly ask them for an interview instead of waiting like a sitting duck.

So, uhm, they don't answer again. So we have to text our own store's HR person. Because texting is faster and now we have some form of writing even if it isn't completely foolproof. The problem is that "Rusanya" isn't on the computer system, our legal name and stuff is. So we had to sign off as our legal name and we're hoping that our HR person gets the hint. Because she's the one in charge of entering things into the computer system. The computer system that holds our names. And we guess someone know their shit about systems, because we didn't even have to verbally ask to avoid having Rusanya in the computer systems, we tried looking at our personal profile for any "preferred" names or aliases and there is nothing there. So like. Yeah.

Mixed bag of a day we are having for work already, and our shift hasn't even started yet. We haven't even started to drive to work yet either. Jeezus fuck.