#Rufus doesn't wear a helmet ever
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rottenpumpkin13 · 6 months ago
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It’s time to upgrade the vehicle choice to the company helicopters. AGSZC and the Turks + Rufus, who is the best, the worst, and the one who can fly it but can’t land it.
• Sephiroth is an excellent pilot, probably the most competent you'll find. He learned to fly helicopters when he was very young, has a knack for handling even the toughest situations, and his composure and precise maneuvers make him the go-to pilot in any crisis.
*Sephiroth is flying the helicopter*
Lazard: You're going a little too fast.
Sephiroth: Have you ever considered crashing a helicopter, faking your own death, and then living on a deserted island with stray cats until you can repurpose the helicopter’s parts to build a weapon for exacting revenge on your enemies?
Lazard: NO?
• Genesis boasts that he's the best pilot around and can indeed fly fairly well. But he requires intense focus and hates any distractions. He will snap at anyone who tries to talk to him while he's flying. ....scratch that, it depends on the topic.
*In the helicopter, Angeal sneezes*
Genesis: DON'T TALK TO ME! I WILL FLY US INTO THE FUCKING SUN I SWEAR TO THE GODDESS! THEY WILL BE FINDING VESTIGES OF OUR CORPSES FOR YEARS! IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT?
Angeal: I think you should scream less.
*Genesis abandons the control*
Genesis: Did you just say loveless? Because I was thinking about the beauty of 'world's end' in act one, and—
Angeal: WE'RE FALLING
• It's a mystery how Angeal passed the pilot test, and even he's baffled why they keep entrusting him with the helicopter. He wishes they'd stop assigning him flying duties.
*Angeal is flying the helicopter*
Angeal: Are you sure I should be flying this thing?
Sephiroth: Of course. You're the responsible one.
*Angeal is flying the helicopter in circles*
Sephiroth: I trust you to land this helicopter responsibly.
*Angeal misses the helipad completely and is now doing zig zags*
Sephiroth: I value your responsibility.
*They are literally upside down*
Sephiroth: Land the helicopter, Angeal.
Angeal: LaNd tHe HeLiCoPtEr AnGeAl—WHAT DO YOU THINK I'M TRYING TO DO?
*And now they're flying into the side of the building*
Sephiroth: Meet the goddess.
• Zack is completely bewildered as to why no one trusts him to fly a helicopter. Sure, he might have driven a car into a ditch once, and maybe he accidentally set a motorcycle on fire, but he's confident in his flying skills! He insists he's super competent and is always ready to prove it—just ask anyone (except Tseng. Tseng hears "Zack Fair" and "helicopter" in the same sentence and has a nervous breakdown).
*In the helicopter*
Zack: Thanks for coming with me. For some reason, the other guys are too scared to fly with me.
Cloud, wearing a helmet, extra padding, and holding a rosary: WHAT DO YOU MEAN? WE CRASHED! WE'RE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE OCEAN!
Zack: Are you dead?
Cloud: No, but—
Zack: Success.
• Cloud's piloting skills are on par with Sephiroth's....though no one knew this until the first time he flew a helicopter.....Cloud doesn't have a license....people are confused and scared.
*Cloud is flying the helicopter*
Sephiroth: Strife, your piloting skills are excellent. Where did you learn to fly like this?
Cloud: Oh, I never learned.
Sephiroth: But you're flying the helicopter.
Cloud: Nothing gets past you, does it, sir?
Sephiroth:
• Rufus is adept at flying helicopters, but he rarely flies them because he has pilots and the turks to fly him anywhere he wants. He's also very stubborn.
Tseng: Sir, you might want to slow down a bit.
Rufus: I know what I'm doing, Tseng. I'll have you know that I fly better than most birds.
*Rufus doesn't avoid the incoming flock of birds and nearly crashes the helicopter into the building*
Rufus: ......
Tseng: They heard you.
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viovayo · 4 years ago
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Deponia, but make it YuGiOh! Arc-V! Because one of my fav things to do is combine stuff I like.
In which yet another poor sap managed to get himself split into a collection of bastards including but not limited to:
Argus, the Fusion counterpart, who ends up in Neo Domino’s Sector Security because it turns out his high rank as an Academia soldier doesn’t protect him from getting sent to Synchro to become Roget’s problem when the Professor notices he‘s maybe a little too ambitious.
Rufus, the misplaced Standard counterpart and aspiring Turbo Duellist Extraordinaire, who at eight years old got yote across the dimensional barrier by his adoptive asshole of a dad and has since crashed many a motorcycle growing up in Synchro.
Cletus, the actual Synchro counterpart, a snooty topsider who thinks that this dimension really doesn’t need more than one face as pretty as his, especially not on some moron from the commons who thinks that motorcycles belong in an intellectual sport like card games - They do not.
...we don’t talk about the XYZ counterpart. Probably got carded or something, phi in the chat.
Bonus roof man alternate version!
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