#Roberto's got a bit more of a... kick to him?

[revenantghost]

I’m gonna stop for the night at episode three because 1. It’s past my bedtime and 2. I’m so frustrated at the screenshot situation, BUT! I’ve gotta say the casting for the side characters in the dub is eerily accurate at times, whoever cast them deserves a reward.

[fandomzwriterk]

We need a continuation to f.r.i.e.n.d.s, I honesty don't know what is going to happen next, this fic was so good

A/N: you ask and I shall provide! Aw shit, here I go again!! Also I was playing Cult of the Lamb when I was writing this so it got a little dark😱😨

Warnings: sorta non-consenty, Remy sorta watching, Hostage Reader and Remy, sorta NSFW under cut, cursing, MDNI

F.R.I.E.N.D.S pt2

“Come on Y/n we have to hide somewhere!”

“Where?!”

“Here!”

It was the warehouse from where they rescued Roberto months ago from those cruel Liberators. You had wanted to kill them yourself, but Scott stopped you. Death was too easy of a punishment for them. So, they were thrown in jail, the Sentinels scrapped and the building being closed for repairs. You both remembered a window that could be opened up on the roof, so Remy lead the way up the side of the building, walking and carefully climbing over boxes.

“Shh. Right here.”

Remy crouched, walking quietly through the window and up into the walkway above. He moved his arm past you, holding up the window as you crawled through. He could’ve easily gone first, but he needed to make sure that you weren’t in view from outside in case Scott was somewhere near you two.

“Brings back good memories eh?”

“Remy now is not the time.”

“Cherié I’m just trying to calm you down.”

“Sorry.”

You bit your tongue, knowing the last couple of months have been confusing for everyone. You fooled Remy into thinking you were in love with Scott, and Scott did the same to Jean. For Scott, it was real though. What was he to you now? An ex? A friend? A… murderer? No. It wasn’t possible Scott wouldn’t… would he?

“I know you��re in here! Come on out Remy let’s settle this like men!” Scott taunted as he rammed down the wall

Remy put a finger to his lips, telling you be quiet so you both wouldn’t be heard. He slowly stood up, but you grabbed onto his arm, making him stop. He kissed your cheek, staring into your eyes as he turned to slowly and carefully walked down the stairs. If you stopped him it would just delay the inevitable, that Scott was going to kill Remy and take you from him.

“Up ‘ere fucker!” Remy shouted as he flung a playing card at Scott’s head while Scott walked into the center of the room

“God I’ve always wanted to beat the shit outta you and your ego.” Scott retorted back as he dodged it

“And I’ve always wanted to put you in your place for hurting my friends.”

Remy and Scott swung fists at each other, Remy dodging to making sure that Scott wouldn’t see you. You noticed his eyes went up to you, him giving a wink to you as a way to tell you to run.

“I know she’s here Gambit.”

Scott was quicker by just a second, grabbing Remy’s throat and slamming him down in the concrete. Remy still clung onto his rage and urge to protect you, desperately trying to take a swing at Scott’s head with his staff. You could see Scott’s grip was iron tight, almost crushing Remy’s throat with his own hands. And that was it, Remy’s eyes glancing to you as Scott did it one more time, as you watched Remy go unconscious in front of you. You hope he is unconscious and not dead.

“Come on out Y/n in know you’re here darling.”

You put a hand over your mouth, seeing Scott drag Remy over to a concrete pillar, leaving him there as he went to look for something. You debated on going to save him, but doing that would destroy the sacrifice Remy made to get you to run away unharmed. You watched as Scott came back, dragging a half ruined chair to Remy, picking him up and sitting him on it. Remy’s hand were tied behind him, and you watched as Scott pulled out a Liberators Mutant Collar and put it around Remy’s neck.

“Come on out Y/n~ Come on out and I’ll let Remy live. I’ll even consider leaving you two alone as an agreement.”

You felt your skin crawl, the hair on the back of your neck rising as you watched Scott kick Remy’s chair over and start to push his foot down on Remy’s neck. You stood up slowly, raising your hands in the air as a surrender. You were not going to let Remy die for your sake. You walked down the metal stairs, making Scott turn his head to face you. His evil smile widened as you walked slowly up to him.

“Let him go.”

“Y/n don’t do it cherié. Don’t ‘cha let him take you!”

Scott kicked Remy, making Remy groan in pain while Scott had a cruel smile on his face.

“Now… come here my darling~”

He stretched a hand out to you, waiting for you to grab it. There was a small hesitance, slowly moving it to grab it. You stopped when your finger tips touched. Your face fell, and Scott didn’t like that. So, he grabbed you, put an arm around your neck and having a hand covering your mouth. You tried to scratch at his arm, but Scott was faster, his grip on your arm almost crushing it with his hand.

“You son of a bitch when I get out…”

“And you won’t. I made sure of that.”

Scott pulled you backwards, your heels dragging on the floor while Remy struggled in his chair. Scott stopped once he had you moved a few feet away from Remy, making him face towards you two.

“You are so dead Scott. I’m gonna make sure you suffer for this.”

You could see out of the corner of your eye, Scott’s eyes glaring and staring at Remy. Then, his attention went to you.

“And now my darling… why don’t I show him who you really belong to.”

Scott’s other hand traced your thigh, slowly going up and tracing your hip, your chest, and then ending with it moving towards your ass. You clawed against Scott’s skin, but he was so much stronger than you. Remy wasn’t happy either. He was pissed and wanted to save you.

“So beautiful darling~”

His hand went back up, reaching your chest. His big hands started squeezing and playing with your breast. You screamed into Scott’s hand, his grip getting harder with each scream and kick against him.

“I don’t want to hurt you but if you don’t listen…”

“I swear to god Cyclops I’m going to fucking kill you myself.”

“Try me mother fucker.”

You were scared, Scott touching you in places even when you were fake dating you wouldn’t let him touch. Hell you never even kissed the man. Only just a hand on the thigh or hand holding. Where did it all go wrong?

“You son of a bitch!” You heard being shouted from above

Logan and Morph came crashing through the roof while Jean flew through a broken window. Scott gripped you like his life depended on it.

“I’m going to kill each and every one of you if you get in my way.”

Jean slowly flew down to the ground. She now knew this wasn’t the real Scott.

“Scott please let them go. They’ve done nothing wrong.” Jean begged

Scott’s other hand was still over your mouth, now his free hand moving up to his glasses.

“Run!” Remy shouted

And just like that, the building came crashing down.

A/N: hope you enjoyed!

[miamochi-writes]

Hi it's me! Absolutely love your Vash stories ^^!! if i may, I'd like to request a little fic sort of like sunshine! Vash x Grumpy! reader but in this case its vash getting them to laugh out loud for the first time hehe vv Maybe a little bit of angst but ultimately very sweet and funny <3

i love polar opposite dynamics and thats why i loved The Only Time I Feel Safe <3!! Thank you!! You're doing great!!

A/n: oh my gosh! I was kicking, screaming, and giggling at this idea! You have no idea how fast I started writing the minute you suggested this! 💖 Hope you like this @usuallynana !

The Way You Laugh

You had yet to learn why the universe works in mysterious ways. But it paired you with the most chaotic group of people you could imagine. It was another typical morning as you sat with Meryl and Wolfwood, where they were bickering about some minuscule topic. Roberto was finishing his breakfast with a sip from his flask. Meanwhile, you enjoyed the warm cup of coffee as much as possible and braced yourself for what today would throw at you. You traveled wherever the wind blew and wanted to see the world outside your hometown. You had seen too many things growing up and needed to escape the crime, abuse, and chaos the police inflicted on your small town. After a rough couple days of traveling under the hot sun through the desert, you tagged along with this group after they found you. Thankfully everyone was nice enough to let you travel and gave you much needed space.

"Morning! Y/n! Want to hear what the coffee said to the other coffee before their night out?" All but one person exactly.

"Morning Vash, and what did they say?" you asked.

"Let's stir up some trouble!" Vash answered as you heard a collective groan and some dry chuckles from the group. You stared at Vash with his goofy grin as you took a deep sip of your coffee.

"Interesting," you told him flatly as he chuckled at his joke. I mean someone had to.

For some reason, the universe decided to put Vash into your life. Since you offered to help buy supplies, cook meals, and fend off enemies for the group, the group enjoyed having you. That also meant Vash would stay by your side as he wanted to know more about you. He was such a ray of sunshine and practically made it his mission to spread that warmth and joy to others. Meanwhile, you were reserved, aloof, and put people at arm's length after growing up in such a harsh environment.

You had a heart, but with how rough No Man's Land was you had to be cautious. Yet, you managed to attract someone like Vash who always kept coming back to you no matter how much you pushed him away. In fact, despite how much you closed people off, you bonded with Vash one night after telling him about your troubling past. After the both of you shared some personal stories, you managed to crack a smile at him that he will never forget. If anything, he made it his personal mission to know you better and make you laugh after that night.

"Come on blondie, enough with the jokes. It's been a week already," Roberto begged.

"No can do! I'm just getting started!" Vash replied. Although Vash threw some of the corniest jokes you've heard, it didn't bother you. You wanted to see how far he would go to make you laugh. Plus, each joke he told after the 3rd day was getting better.

After breakfast, your group traveled through the desert to the next city. You sat in the middle of Vash and Wolfwood while Meryl drove with Roberto in the passenger seat. It was going to be another long drive of watching endless sand and dunes.

"Hey Y/n, want to hear a desert joke?" Vash asked you as you looked at him.

"Vash no!" Roberto begged, but you gestured at Vash to continue.

"Nah, you're right. It's too dry," he replied as you rolled your eyes at the joke. Another collective groan was let out while Meryl laughed.

"Okay, I got a better one!" Vash chimed in. This time you turned around to face Vash with an amused smirk. Meanwhile, Wolfwood turned to look out the window.

"What did one sand dune say to the other sand dune?" he asked. You pondered the question as you tried to figure out what kind of pun this would be.

"I will never desert you," he replied. Okay that one wasn't too bad compared to the other one. Even Wolfwood didn't groan this time as he raised an eyebrow.

"Not bad," you told Vash. You could see in his blue eyes that he was determined to find a joke that would get you to laugh. Meanwhile, Roberto threatened to stop the van if Vash continued.

Once you entered the city, you all agreed to split up. Roberto and Wolfwood would rest at the bar, Meryl would look into places to stay, while you and Vash would look around to gather supplies. Thankfully the city didn't have too many people or police wandering around.

As you were walking, one paper caught your eye. It was a wanted poster but it looked cartoonish. You couldn’t make out the name as it was torn from the top, but it looked silly. Nonetheless, you had to show this to Vash.

"Hey Vash, take a look at this!" The blonde perked up at his name and walked towards you. Once he saw the poster, he cringed.

"Are they seriously still using this picture of me?!" he asked as you stared back at the picture.

"Wait, you mean to tell me this is you? This looks nothing like you," you pointed at the poster.

"Funny story about that," he began, but before he could explain, he stopped midway. It looked like he hatched an idea as his glasses glinted at the sun's rays.

"Hey Y/n, you want to know how Meryl, Roberto, and I met?" he asked. You had no idea where this was going but you nodded your head. He then grabbed your hand and flashed you a smirk.

"Follow me," he replied a smirk.

~*~

Vash dragged you to the bar and told you to wait outside. Half of you was curious about what Vash was scheming, while the other half was afraid to find out. Eventually, Meryl came out from the bar and looked at you.

"I can't believe I'm doing this," she muttered, motioning you to follow her. She took you to a place near the outskirts of the city. What you saw next gave you a mini heart attack. You saw some makeshift metal heap where Roberto seemed to be tying up Vash upside down.

“What the heck is going on?!” You asked, bewildered at the sight before you.

“He’s the one that asked for it. I’m just following his weird orders. Besides, you wanted to know how we met him. Well, there you have it,” Roberto explained as he finished securing the rope and left. You were beyond confused at what was happening. How could Vash let Roberto do that to him? Was this some kind of sick joke? Why wasn't anyone helping him down?

Next thing you knew, Vash let out the most absurd evil laugh you've ever heard. The way his glasses glinted to where you couldn't see his eyes made him look cartoonishly mischievous. The way he slowly turned as he laughed added another layer to this odd side of your companion. Then it hit you, all this was because you mentioned that poster. You held the ripped paper up and compared it to Vash once more. He practically matched the cartoonish picture on the poster. From the "comically evil" looking face, glasses, and hair, he nailed the look perfectly. The more you looked at him, the more you snickered.

Pffft!

You were trying to stifle your laugh with your hand, but every time you looked at Vash the harder it was to control it. Finally, you burst into fits of laughter as you held your sides. How Vash looked and laughed was the funniest thing you've seen in a long time. You knew Vash was silly, but this was another level of him being over the top. Every time you snuck a glance at him, you couldn't help but laugh once more.

AHAHAHAHA!

Vash immediately stopped laughing as he heard the sound of laughter fill his ears. Did his ears deceive him? He looked at Meryl who was just as shocked at what she was witnessing. Vash begged her to turn him around so he could see what was happening. He needed to know if what he was hearing was true. Once she did, his eyes started to gleam once his eyes landed at the figure before him. The breath he was holding in was finally let go as Vash stared in awe at you. His blue eyes widened and his eyebrows were raised at you laughing your guts out. Slowly but surely, a huge smile crept on his face as he felt a huge sense of accomplishment. Maybe it was the blood rushing to his head, but Vash was giddy with joy. Finally, all that hard work of throwing jokes at you paid off.

"You're laughing," Vash stated instead of asked. He wanted to see if you would deny this, but you happily nodded at him.

"Of course I am! The way you look, and your laugh, it's hilarious! I can't believe this is how you met Meryl and Roberto," you tried to answer mid-laugh. Vash couldn't help but chuckle at your answer as he understood what finally got you to laugh. Meryl on the other hand was just confused at what she witnessed.

"Both of you are such weirdos. I'm outta here," Meryl commented as she took her leave.

"Wait! Don't leave me hanging here again friend!" Vash begged. You then laughed even harder at his comment. The desperation and hysteria in his voice made you laugh harder. On top of it all, his facial expression was priceless. If he kept it up, your face was going to hurt from laughing this hard.

"Need a hand space cowboy?" you asked as you managed to calm your hearty laugh into small giggles.

“Pretty please?” He replied. You simply grinned as his eyes widened at what you asked him.

“Wait...did you? You cracked a joke!” He pointed out as you freed him from being tied up.

"Yeah, you're not the only one who can crack jokes too you know?" you smirked after helping Vash stand up. After making sure Vash could walk and stand on his own, you took a step back and kept smirking at him as Vash had multiple questions for you.

"So, you think my jokes are funny?" he asked with a curious smile. The way his blue eyes sparkled with admiration like a puppy was priceless.

"Of course, doesn't matter how cheesy they are," you answered. Then Vash furrowed his eyebrows.

"So why didn't you laugh at them?" he questioned further.

"I did, you just weren't listening hard enough," you replied. You then demonstrated with your silent but quick exhale. Vash looked at you dumbfounded and then pouted.

"That's not a laugh Y/N!" he argued with a comical face, as you chuckled. Then he did the unthinkable, he tickled your sides and you roared with laughter

"Stop! My face and sides already hurt from earlier. I promise I'll laugh to where you can hear me next time," you begged mid-laugh.

"Okay, I'll hold you to it," Vash grinned as he stopped tickling you. You managed to breathe again and regain your compsosure.

"I guess you can say I take your breath away," Vash added as you snorted this time.

"Sure Vash, now come one let's get back to the group," you offered just smiling at his antics. The universe worked in mysterious ways and put random people into your life. But after today, you didn't mind having Vash in your life. In fact, he was starting to grow on you a little. But that's for another day for him to hear at the campfire. For now, you appreciated how much he was willing to make you smile and laugh. In fact, he gave you hope in humanity every time he was with you and that was something you learned to appreciate.

[officialtrashbin]

Ok ok ok ok ok wrap-up thoughts on the season now that the finale is out:

First of all, DEATHBIT DEATHBIT DEATHBIT

2) ok the subplot with Rogue and Magneto actually grew on me. Like, she’s rejected him ultimately but they still mattered to each other and they still do, it’s just not romantic from her side anymore. I can’t blame magneto for not getting over her rejection I’d never be able to take the psychic damage of losing Rogue

also yeah the age gap was a little weird but I’m living for the drama and the potential for their platonic friendship. I want to make a comment about how their stint is an example of unidentified trauma becoming trauma bonding but then I have to like…write it.

3) I actually think Roberto and Jubilee were super cute and have elected to give their storylines a pass. Like they’re just kids coming into adulthood and have found comfort in each other, that’s good enough for me for now. (Though I’d like to see more of comic-accurate Sunspot being adapted but I digress. It’s only been 1 season.)

Also I think Sunspot awkwardly hanging around the Xmen slowly coming to terms with his speedran adoption is the funniest basis for an arc and have no further comments. Might write a fic later on his Struggles.

4) KURT JOINING THE MOTHERFUCKIN SQUAD BABYYYY and literally just everything about him. Being so supportive of Rogue and holding her and encouraging Gambit and just 😭😭😭😭

5) PHOENIX JEAN PHOENIX JEAN I LOVED JEAN

6) cyclops was one of my least favs in the original, this show put so much respect back on his name. I actually adore him now—plus the scenes with him doting on his grown ass man child is hysterical. Need more of it. I need this guy telling people this Hulk Hogan of a unit is his lil boy.

If Nathan isn’t seen later at a baseball game with Scott in a Summer 01 jersey and the cyborg arm badly painted over I’m committing crimes.

7) I think Storm needed way more screen time. I know there were scenes with her written out due to budget issues (and also them skipping her goodbye to Gambit made me annoyed) but like. The fact that her centric arc was put across two episodes shared with other episodes was irritating.

7.5) In this same vein I missed Bishop, I got so attached!!!! but here’s to hoping he’s kicking ass again in s2!

8) the rate in which I fell in love with these characters all over again is insane. Like harder than the original show in a fraction of the time.

9) Rogue did nothing wrong. 😭

10) Magneto definitely wasn’t right, but it’s interesting to witness how they justified his view point with Genosha and Bastion, and the ripple effect it had on people who didn’t even agree with him in the first place.

11) Cherik lmfao they were SO gay. I’m all for affectionate besties and dudes being shown as having close platonic bonds but this was Very Affectionate Besties with Seductive Grin Bedroom Eyes Charles Every Two Sentences.

12) honestly want a version of this show though where Charles stayed gone. I actually like him! I just think not having him around to help guide everyone made things so much spicier. Magneto was StrugglingTM for Real

13) Gambit’s death was so good, but I definitely figured he’d be coming back somehow because there was no way they were offing him thinking Rogue didn’t choose him.

14) speaking of, I was mostly joking in my shitposts about Death Gambit cause I had my money on a possible Sentinel Gambit with Bastion’s introduction, but the moment they went to Egypt I started clawing up all my old shit posts.

15) ROGUE DID NOTHING WRONG (lots of wrong but you know what? I love her. She can commit wrongs again.)

16) Beast was so good but I also low key wish he had a bit more screen time. His bitterness after Genosha was short-lived, I wish it had been explored more, like Charles talking it out of him or something and reminding him about their goals or…something.

17) Bastion was awesome no notes, hope he comes back as a horseman for the flex

18) hot Magneto no notes

19) hot Apocalypse no notes

20) crop top Gambit no notes

21) “His name was Gambit! Remember it!” Rogue was so beast in this season, it was cathartic watching her beat the shit out of Bastion. Her and Sunspot honestly make for a cool combat duo and I want to see them interact more.

22) DEATH GAMBIT AAAAAAHHHHHG

23) ey yo hold up does this mean Leech and the Morlochs and the perished Genosha mutants are permanently dead??? 💀

24) Logan and Morph were definitely something this season and I adored it, I adored Morph especially. Like Morph really said I Love You even if it was as Jean, I take what I can get

26) Magneto ripping Wolverine’s skeleton out like homie wouldn’t try to kill him with a wooden chair if given the opportunity. If anything now Logan has 0 weaknesses and a personal vendetta he can act upon. Rest in pieces Erik.

27) A goddess, a gravely injured Canadian, and a metaphor for gender identity walk into a bar and all 3 say “ouch” (bad joke. You’re welcome. Don’t worry guys, Storm is there so their arc will be wrapped up in about 12 minutes. Sorry can you tell I’m still mildly salty about her lack of screen time)

28) Rogue launching Cap’s shield is 11/10. Do it again do it again (woulda been top tier humor if the end credits showed him still looking for it frantically as the asteroid got closer)

Mostly that’s all I got. I have various other thoughts including how fucking HYPE seeing my fav duo Cloak and Dagger made me, but these were the key personal takeaways.

[dr4k3n0]

Drunk Confessions

I love writing Vash.. He just needs love. ^^

Synopsis: Vash did some drastic things to get your attention..

TW: Drinking?

Word Count: 1.6k

Today, you and Meryl were going out for a girl's day. It was about 1 o'clock and you both deiced to leave the boys to themselves. You both walked through the small town looking for something interesting to do. 

"What do you think we should do?" Meryl said as she stopped at a dried-up and cracked fountain. 

You thought for a moment before suggesting, "We could go to a cafe if they have one around here that is." 

Her eyes lit up before she hugged you quickly "That's a great idea! Let's go find one!" She said excitedly. 

Dragging you around the building to find a cafe you smiled at her excitement and went along with it. In all honesty, you were exhausted. You were up late every night and were woken up by the others around dawn. You yawned before colliding with her as she stopped suddenly. 

"Found one!" She said happily. 

"Well, what are we waiting for?" You said. 

Going back to Vash and the others they watched as you both walked off into the distance finding something to do. 

"How much ya'll willing to bet, that one of them is gonna get drunk?" Wolfwood said to the others. 

Vash chuckled a bit while no one answered Nickolas's question. 

"You guys are no fun," He said annoyed. 

"Welp, what should we do boys?" Nickolas said turning to the others. 

Vash shrugged while Roberto stayed silent as he puffed on his cigar. 

"Aight let's just go to a bar," Nickolas said. 

"Yea I'm down with that," Vash said as Roberto nodded and followed them. 

While they walked to the small saloon, Vash got weird stares from the civilians of the town. Whispering could be heard as Vash walked happily behind Nickolas. 

Entering the Saloon,  the aroma of alcohol overcame their noses and they took a seat at a table. They quickly ordered drinks and sat waiting for the drinks to be finished. Vash continued to get weird stares while some whispered about him. Eventually, the drinks with some small cups came and Vash grabbed a cup and quickly filled it, before downing the drink. Hiccupping, he slammed the glass on the counter pouring more for himself from the bottle. Nickolas and Roberto watched him in shock as he continued to down cup after cup. 

"Ya good Needle Noggin?" Nickolas finally said. 

Vash's cheeks began to heat up. 

He looked up at Nickolas and said, "Yea why wouldn't I be?" Hiccupping again. 

"If you say so.." Nickolas said as he finished his first cup. 

The boys continued to drink more while you and Meryl enjoyed a relaxing day at the cafe. When you first walked in the inside looked a lot prettier than the crusty and old outside. The inside had small pink stripes painting the wall and some posters hanging around the place. Upon first entering, you were overwhelmed by the smell of bread and coffee. You both walked up to the counter before ordering coffee for the both of you and as well as some baked goods. After paying and getting the things you ordered you both sat by a window talking about random things. 

"What do you think the boys are doing?" You asked. 

Meryl looked up at you before chuckling a little. 

"Probably drinking," She giggled. 

"Sounds about right," You said shaking your head disappointed. 

Vash was still drinking hard. The burning liquid couldn't fulfill how he was feeling. He had already done a drinking contest with 10 individual men and won all of them. Roberto and Nickolas were also drunk but not as badly as Vash. They all were eventually kicked out of the saloon. They walked with each other's arms around the other's shoulders for support as stumbled and giggled down the street. Walking past the cafe you and Meryl were at, you watched out the window as they walked as Vash made eye contact with you. Waving, he hiccupped and continued to walk with the others. 

"Oh my god.." You said getting up from your seat. 

"What? What's wrong?" Meryl said surprised by your actions. 

"Look out that window.. I'm going to get them before they cause problems," You said as you threw away your trash and walked out the door with Meryl close behind you. 

Running to them, they stopped. "Aw look it's the girlies," Nickolas slurred. 

"Y/n!" Vash said as he practically fell towards you. You grabbed him and supported him before sighing. 

"Let's get you boys back to the hotel.." You said making eye contact with Meryl as she understood what to do. 

You walked them back to the hotel slowly as they stumbled on their feet. 

"Y/n-ieeee" Vash said as he hugged you tightly. 

"Vash, stop, we're going to fall-" You said as he was basically draped on top of you. 

"This is the last time I'm letting you boys out of my sight." You whispered to yourself. 

"Y/n are you mad at me?" Vash hiccuped. 

"I'm not mad at you," You said dryly. 

It wasn't a lie you weren't mad at him, you were worried about him. Vash wouldn't do this type of stuff. Something must have happened. 

Finally making it to the hotel you helped Meryl get Roberto to his room before parting ways as she took Nickolas to his and you took Vash to his. Eventually making it to his room you sighed and sat him in the small chair outside of his room. 

"Vash do you have the key?" You asked. 

He pats all of his pockets before shrugging. Sighing, you pat down all of his pockets before feeling the key in the pocket on his chest. 

"Can you grab the key out there for me?" You asked him patiently. 

He shook his head before grabbing your hand and putting it on his warm cheek. He smiled and closed his eyes as he nuzzled into your hand. 

"Vash, let go.." You said as you began to get flustered. 

He shook his head again and smiled. 

"You can't make me." He said sticking his tongue out like a child. 

He's just like a child you thought. Using your other hand, you reached into the pocket before grabbing the key and reaching to unlock his door. 

You pushed the door open with your foot, before grabbing Vash and walking him into his room. Sitting him down on his bed, you stood up, popping your back before looking at him. 

"Y/n you're so pretty," Vash said smiling at you. 

Becoming flustered you deny his words. 

"You don't mean that, you're drunk." He pouted at you before saying. 

"I think you're beautiful." He paused a moment. 

"In fact, I love everything about you, your personality, your looks, everything. I really like you Y/n," He continued this time not slurring a single word. 

Blushing a bit, you do admit you had feelings for the blonde, but you knew that he was drunk and probably didn't mean them. Even if he did, he probably wouldn't remember ever confessing to you. 

"Thanks, Vash, but you should get some sleep I'll see you in the morning," You say as you head towards the door. 

Grabbing the doorknob, Vash's arms wrap around you cautiously as you stiffen and blush. 

"Do you think I'm drunk..?" He mumbled quietly. 

"Aren't you?" You asked still not looking at him. 

"I'm not drunk.. I was faking it to get your attention.." He admitted quietly. 

"I meant what I said." He continued. 

You were still frozen in your position before you slowly turned around. 

"If you can do these tests accurately, I'll believe you when you say you're not drunk." You said. 

He nodded and smiled at you before saying 

"Sure,". 

"Okay I'm going to shine a light in your eyes to see if they dilate, is that okay?" You asked. 

He smiled and nodded at you. Grabbing a flashlight you quickly shone it in his eyes to see if they dilated, which they did. Next, you had him walk in a straight line, and he did it almost perfectly. 

"You really aren't drunk.." you said shocked. 

He nodded at you as you stood there and the heat returned to your face. 

"You actually meant what you said?" You asked cautiously. 

He nodded again. "I.. like you too, Vash.." You said quietly. 

He perked up a little bit and his eyes began to shine. 

"Wait say that again," He begged. 

Your face heated up even more and you looked away from him, "I.. like you too.." You repeated. 

Suddenly Vash hugged you quickly. You stood shocked for a moment before hugging him back. He smiled as he hugged you tightly. You smiled and buried your head in his chest feeling safe and warm in his arms. After a while, you pulled away from each other and Vash smiled at you. 

"I will admit, I am a little bit tipsy.." He admitted. 

"No, really?" You said sarcastically. He laughed before smiling at you again. 

"So uhm.. would you want to potentially go on a date maybe..?" Vash said quickly. 

You chuckled at him before replying with, "I'd love to." 

"Sweet, we can talk later about it, I think I'm gonna hit the sack," Vash said smiling at you. 

"Sounds good, see you!" You said walking out the door. 

Walking to your room, you thought about what had just happened. It was almost like a dream. You walked into your room before getting ready for bed and falling asleep quickly. 

The next day, the sun had barely begun to rise and the sounds coming from Vash's room sounded terrible. You woke up to the sound of someone throwing up realizing it was probably Vash. Walking out of your room, you knock on Vash's door. From behind the door, you could hear things crashing to the floor and his footsteps. The door swung open as Vash stood in the doorway with a blanket around his figure and he looked utterly sick. 

"Oh, God.. this is going to be a long day.." You remarked tiredly.

[hikennosabo]

#tristampparty day 2, episode 2: the running man

day 2 of @tristampparty!! i have less to say about this episode than the first one so hopefully this will be a shorter post than yesterday LOL

iirc this is 98 knives's seiyuu on the radio, right?!!! i am only about halfway through my jp 98 watch and can't recognize him by ear (yet) but i think it's very neat that the original seiyuus have cameos :')

also vash keeping the photo with him What If I Ate Rocks

he is such a kicked puppy of a man

why does roberto say revenge. what does he mean. what does he know. what has he figured out from knowing vash for maybe like a few hours. or is he just throwing that out there without realizing how close he is to the truth. partially, anyway. he didn't guess the savior complex part.

i'm not entirely sure what meryl means by honor...? but money is a pretty normal reason to want a plant, as we've seen and as we'll continue to see.

i like how meryl has a fear of bugs... i can relate lol. i think this character trait comes from the manga when she was kidnapped by zazie and was grossed out? i think here it also serves to reinforce her being sheltered, still unfamiliar with the world at large since worms are everywhere--WAIT HOLD ON.

PAUSE. ZOOM. ENHANCE.

RAI-DEI SPOTTED?!?!??!?! this rewatch is becoming an I Spy game with the wanted posters, jfc.

man i'm so glad i finally downloaded tristamp so i can appreciate the visuals without the crunchiness of streaming video... i can't do the animation justice with just screenshots but i love watching vash scamper around like a... i don't know. he scampers like a cockroach in 98, but this is giving a different vibe. like a... something. like a creature.

i also want to take a second to appreciate how gorgeous the backgrounds are, like,

i loooove the backgrounds, it looks like... maybe a mix of markers and colored pencil... i love the detail and the colors are so pleasing. this is such a gorgeous anime to look at, i don't know how anyone could possibly say it looks bad without them just blindly hating it because it's 3dcg. god i'm getting so distracted looking at the backgrounds that i'm missing the action AND the subtitles LOL

wasn't there a post somewhere that actually calculated how much a bullet is worth based on this information. i don't remember what conclusion it came to. but i'm thinking either food is expensive (tbh, likely) or bullets are inexpensive and vash is just poor (also likely). also it's funny that the dub changed this to donuts. ...where are the donuts at in tristamp anyway...

roberto lmao 😭😭😭😭😭 i guess that's one way to guarantee it doesn't spill

roberto up until this point has acted like meryl is dragging him along unwillingly, but here he's the one telling meryl to get in the car so they can get a move on, lol. yeah yeah we all already know he's actually a softie and that he really cares underneath his aloof demeanor.

which brings us to this scene... i don't want to say that he has vash "all figured out" because obviously he doesn't, but he's got SOME of vash figured out at least. definitely more than meryl atp. he knows vash is running from knives... i wonder how this conversation would have gone if they weren't interrupted.

yeah i don't really have that much to say about this ep, relatively speaking... i don't have any deep thoughts about the nebraskas, they're just comic relief villains anyway, i don't care about them that much, even though tristamp kind of tries to make us care a little bit by the end of this episode...

next episode is gonna be a doozy though. ohohohohohoho.

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

Trigun Stampede Episode 1 Reaction

Ok here goes. Idk how entertaining I'll be but... you know. This is mostly because I am having a weird time of things rn. Also, I have no background knowledge of this series whatsoever asides from that it might be a western and there was a 90s series and manga also, so if you're an og fan and this is painful... I am sorry lol.

But without further ado, let's go!

Oh. We're in space. ...ok then!

Well this just went poorly. Rip cryo-people.

Noooo mom :(

Ok so I can't tell; is the ship on autopilot or is Nai piloting it, because if it's the latter - you go, little guy, you got skill.

Cannot explain how funny this is. "I would like to use my communication skills more! I would like to make a positive impact!" <- every resumé ever if you want to get a job lol. Birth place "December"... interesting. There's also a "November" and a "July". Why all names of the months? But it's also May, like, temporally - is that not a bit confusing for people? I don't know what "PE081" means as a birth date... also she is. Tiny. Smol, even.

Ah, young idealist, older cynic dynamic. Always pretty fun.

These two have now both shoved papers in each other's faces. Whipping your coworker in the face with a well-timed paper can be a form of affection... I think?

HJHFBSJHC??????

Are none of them... warm? In these outfits? In the desert?

Bro's arm just fell off. "There it goes" Does this happen a lot to you sir???

Our protagonist, everyone.

"He's evil and destructive" Have you... looked at him. Like, don't judge a book by its cover but. Have you looked at him?

^He has kicked puppy energy.

I have nothing to say. Just look at this.

Map! I love maps!

Sand ocean??? Like there's no oceans? How do they get water??? Odd that July is here but not December or November. I'm assuming these are three of the "seven cities"? What are the other four? Are they also month-themed? Also some of these names are real funny. These people naming their towns and cities like "Creepy Valley" and "Stinky Lakeside". Actually seems quite normal to me tbh. And we are in Jeneora Rock atm it seems. Is it going to update as we go? That'd be cool! :D

Hjdfhvdjh he just stayed tied up for. Some reason. Roberto's face 😂

Oh, huh. Plants are. Biological organisms and not power plants. Like I assumed. So they were made but can't be made anymore because they don't have the knowledge or the technology? Odd...

His bounty is about the same as a new plant... how convenient...

Ok I know I said 'kicked puppy energy' earlier but you don't have to actually kick him...

Boy really does not want to hurt anyone :( (Hmmm now I'm starting to think he probably has at some point...)

Damn, that's some quick thinking Roberto.

Meryl: "Idk senpai this guy seems like he sucks" hjfhgnvj

Aw, buddy. Dropping the goofiness as soon as the crowd can't see him anymore :(

Hey I just realized his jacket has "SEEDS" on the arm like the spaceship! But he didn't have the coat when he got ejected so...... I'm sure I will find out later.

You guys cannot hear the quiet giggling I'm making right now. This shot plus the music - I was right about the western genre apparently, it's just on another planet.

BRO????? Where'd you pull the rocket launcher from?????? Wtf????? Why would you do that?????

Ah. He's lost his mind.

Roberto just bodily flinging Meryl into the alley ahdfihvs

He's out of bullets??? 😭

...he's crying.

Dang Meryl, you got a great throwing arm!

Oh shit. Yeah, I had a feeling he was actually extremely competent. He's holding back on purpose.

NO FRICKIN WAY. ONE BULLET WAS ALL HE NEEDED???

Ok now the animators are just showing off.

Oh. Hm. I was wondering where Nai went and. Hm. Yeah the whole accomplice thing might explain Vash's reticence to actually fight. His brother killed Rem? Yikes. He did offer his hand out to her at the beginning though... idk did he really mean for her to die along with the others? The music is hauntingly beautiful btw!

...his name is Millions Knives?

Aaaand that's a wrap on that! I'm intrigued and I feel like this episode answered absolutely nothing but raised a whole lot of questions, which is, well, what a first episode should do. The animation is really sharp geez. I generally prefer 2D animation but there's a lot of character to the expressions and motions - I think they really pulled it off!

Until next episode!

[drunkelreporter]

Cigarettes acquired, with a little help from an exasperated store clerk to figure out his newfangled Lost Tech phone thing, now all he needed was booze. Booze and information was often to be found in the same place, luckily, which would make his day much much easier.

After everything in JuLai, he really needed a drink.

The bar he picked was dark, a little on the dingy side, a good place to be when you wanted to overhear interesting tidbits. The kind of place that would normally pay close attention to anyone coming in but Roberto was an expert in appearing less then he was. No one paid much mind to an old drunk like him for long, not when he got settled in.

Meryl hadn't been very good at blending in with a crowd. Yet. Here's hoping she had enough time to work on it.

He slumped into the bar, hands in his pockets and a little bit of a stumble to his steps, just another schmuck looking to drown his worries in a glass. The clientele was... a lot more varied then anywhere he'd seen and if he hadn't been people watching while he satisfied his nicotine cravings he would have been taken aback enough to lose his little act. What a weird afterlife. Took all sorts he supposed.

His quick scan of the room, hidden under lazily hooded eyes and thick brows, came to an abrupt halt anyway, when he landed on a very familiar cross.

Fucking hell.

Suddenly he didn't care about appearing less, just getting a drink from the bar and making his way across the room to drop into the chair across from the Undertaker.

"Something got you too huh? Don't tell me it was that tiny freak, you looked to be doing a damn sight better then I did back there." He tipped his glass back and savored the burn of whiskey down his throat. "At least tell me Vash got Meryl out of there after I kicked it."

@punishercross

[evermorehqs]

CATCHING MY BREATH, STARING OUT AN OPEN WINDOW

Jesús 'Soos' Ramirez is based on Soos from Gravity Falls. He is a 35 year old human, gift shop handyman, and uses he/him pronouns. He has no powers. Soos is portrayed by Roberto Urbina and he is open.

CATCHING MY DEATH, AND I COULDN’T BE SURE

Soos had a bit of a rough upbringing, but you would know it given the kind of person he is. His mother worked many hours at the Gravity Falls diner, doing everything she could to provide for her son. His father, on the other hand, disappeared as soon as he was born and ran away to New Orleans. Soos never got angry with his father for leaving. He would constantly send postcards telling him about his adventures, and always promised he would come visit soon. Soos held at hope that one day he would see his father again, until his twelfth birthday when his dad sent one final post card — informing Soos he would never be coming home. Even after all these years, Soos has never been able to get over his father abandoning him and even refuses to celebrate his birthday…. though, that day did put him in a position to get a job at the Mystery Shack, where he would work for Stanford Pines over a decade. Soos became one of Stan’s most loyal employees. He never missed a day of work, willing to do anything and everything Stan asked no matter how strange or unimportant it might have seemed. He cared deeply about the business and the Pines family. Soos became incredibly skilled in the art of fixing things, despite his clumsy and goofy nature, and never batted an eye when the Pines twins started coming for the summer and request his assistance on their adventures. He always wanted to be where the action was, and even though he wasn’t book smart, per se, Soos was one of the only ones to believe them about the weird things in town. He was a skeptic with an inquisitive and child-like nature, but it’s what made him such a good sidekick. His unwavering loyalty to the business in the family landed him Evermore when he agreed to accompany Stan when the twins went missing. He immediately settled right in alongside Stan, once again working for him at his new shop that Soos did most of the work repairing. Like he was in Gravity Falls, he is hyper aware of all the strange occurrences and happenings in Evermore… and he isn’t afraid to make sure everyone else in town also knows how weird everything is.

I HAD A FEELING SO PECULIAR

❀ Felix Mendez: Soos admires Felix a lot, and he absolutely loves comparing tools with him, getting his input on what kind of wood is best, talking about fixing things. Soos developed a passion for repair and handywork, and what better friend to have than a fellow fixer? ❀ Benjamin Fuller: Ben is a bit on the quieter side, but Soos doesn’t really mind. He likes showing off all his weird knick-knacks and interests to him and even when the other man doesn’t say much in response, which was often, Soos always liked to know that at least someone was listening. ❀ Paul Mbappe: There is nothing more that Soos loves more than kicking back and housing a pizza with Pumba. There is never any shame between the two of them in inhaling a whole pie, even though Pumba likes to order some… questionable toppings.

THAT THIS PAIN WOULD BE FOR EVERMORE

[goldendivinewrath]

Meryl cannot count how many times she has been thankful that her apartment building has an accessible back entrance. 

It is the perfect place for sneaking in wanted Typhoons and trained assassins with giant cross-shaped weapons, but the fire escape stairs can be cumbersome. However, she’s not going to look a gift toma’s in the mouth. Today, in particular, she finds herself using said stairs to avoid the main entrance. Despite Vash keeping a low profile, she is aware that the media has listed several people as close accomplices and while no full details had been given out, Meryl thinks that some higher ups are suspecting she’s hiding something.

When the news about Jeneora Rock reached Headquarters and the news anchor listed both herself and Roberto as possible allies to Vash, without giving their exact description or name, it had felt like it was only a matter of time before Headquarters put two and two together. 

The aftermath of Julai seemed to have put those investigations on hold, though Meryl could not be certain for how long.

In a way, she’s been keeping a low profile too since coming back to work for Bernardelli. While a desk job may not have been what she was planning for, it did offer a type of security that could not be found in field work; however, she found herself missing being out in the open, with nothing but an endless sky and sand dunes for iles and iles and iles.

The stairs, while functional, always make her feel a bit apprehensive, as they never made her feel secure while climbing up or down them. And it is when she reaches the shared balcony on her floor does she let out a sigh of relief, especially when she steps in and is met with colder air coming from the aircon.

A rather small, modest apartment, but functional in all the ways she needs it to be. With Vash there, he takes up much of the space that isn’t occupied by camera and photography equipment. She’s not yet managed to organize the way she has wanted to since landing a more stable, and also boring, position, so it has been easier to just forget it’s there and live her life around this organized chaos.

“Okay, I got us some party hats and you are going to wear one,” she says as she rips open the plastic packaging and pulls out a rainbow gradient party hat with gold polka dots that shimmer when it touches the light. Carefully, she pulls the elastic band so as to not break it, and adjusts the hat so it sits right atop his head.

Meryl does the same for herself, choosing another rainbow gradient party hat, but with shimmering blue polka dots. 

“Oh yeah, here!” She bends down to pick up a neatly wrapped package and places it before him.

“Figured you might get a kick out of this…and you never know, might also come in handy.”

Inside is more of a gag gift of a disguise kit with fake round glasses and moustache—more comical than practical—but when she’d seen it, Meryl knew she had to get it.

“Nick should be here soon. He’s on cake duty. I made him be on cake duty.”

Initially, she had wanted them to go dancing, perhaps at a place that served half decent food with half decent drinks, and spend the night out until the suns crested the horizon, but it felt too risky to be out like that. 

Maybe next time, when things have had a chance to cool down a little more, they’ll make a full day of it.

“Happy birthday, Vash,” she says and leans forward to place a kiss on his cheek. She lingers there a little longer than intended, and pulls back with a hint of red in her cheeks.

“Probably by the time I finish getting our food sorted, he’ll be here with the cake. Probably wants to make a memorable entrance or something, always showing up,” she grumbles but there is no bite to her words as she slips from the chair and walks the barely five steps to the kitchen and gets started on their supper.

Vash softly squawks at the party hat being placed on his head, but it's a token protest at best when he makes no move to pull away or stop himself from smiling. All this for him, really? It's silly and not particularly useful, but--

That's exactly why he smiles wider at seeing the hat on Meryl's head, just barely hiding an actual laugh behind his hand. He's not laughing at her! Well, a little, but not in a bad way; it's always nice to see her relaxed. Er, more relaxed. He's sure as the evening goes on that lingering tension will ease, when everything fits into place.

It's that thought which gets gently interrupted by a wrapped gift, and nothing more interesting could grab his attention in the moment. The "You really didn't have to..." dies before it forms, words unnecessary. Words temporarily impossible, because the overwhelming fondness he feels in seeing exactly how much attention has been put into gently creasing paper is an utterly ridiculous thing to notice and feel fondness over, but his fingers reach out to brush the present delicately anyway. It can't be silly if it's heartfelt, right?

Vash looks up at her with a sheepish smile, and nearly anyone might expect him to be the type of person who would try to unfold the paper and preserve it for something else. Normally, yes, they'd be right. Celebrating a birthday, though? He tears into the paper and laughs softly to himself about the whole affair, opening the box inside-- And laughing more, prosthetic hand over his mouth suddenly doing very little to keep him quiet. Okay, that's silly. Good-silly, wonderful-silly, and as much as he does appreciate and keep practical things, this seems worth finding a place for in his bag. "Aw, Meryl. You're a life saver, you know that?"

He has to. Has to. It's customary to try something gifted on, isn't it? Exchanging his usual glasses for the "disguise", he doubts it makes his eyes any less conspicuous, or the rest of him, but he tries to maintain a straight face for several seconds before making the supposed realization, "Oh, I can't risk Nick walking in and seeing a stranger, I'll have to model it later." Snickering, he's careful about re-folding the arms of the glasses, his usual shades once more properly in place.

He-- He doesn't miss it, the way Meryl leans in after birthday wishes, but it doesn't... register, fully. The closeness. The possible reason. He realizes it like a thought moving in slow motion in that moment of stillness before she pulls back; he's just comfortable with that level of closeness when it comes to Meryl. Of course they'd been packed tightly together before, and he'd never minded the occasional physical affection from her, but the kiss is a later realization. The lingering on top of that is another dimension, and surprised as he is, Vash remains still for a moment. Not frozen, not in any was afraid to move, just. Still. Taking in details.

He considers catching her hand before she goes, not letting her simply walk away and keep herself occupied, but ultimately decides against it. "Thank you, Meryl." Sincere words. Sincere smile. And quite a bit of thinking happening underneath.

He smiles through her minor complaints about Wolfwood, because there's something softly amusing about listening to both of them complain about one another with no real heat and no bite to the words, and always to him. That's... that's another thing to think about. Later. Now--

Thinking stops. A little. Vash stands and follows, the kitchen only steps away but still he takes his time getting there, making his footfalls a little heavier than they usually would be. Audible. He doesn't want to sneak up behind her, after all, but he does want the advantage of enough surprise to hug her from behind. Just... a little. Just for a few seconds. Appreciation and affection. Contact. And any small nuzzles to the side of her neck are completely incidental, of course. "I know this is my birthday, but you shouldn't have to do everything. Can I help?" Not that he was sure there was room to help, of course, but the offer needed to be made.

[millioncat]

My siblings judge the looks of the Monster cast (+ making assumptions)

(Since my brother and sister both judged them I’ll be putting the characters in a random order and not from best to worst as they had some very different opinions) My brother is B: my sister S:

Tenma Both think he looks very handsome/cool. B: Likes him even better in his “depressed look”. He said he looks like nice Aragorn. I think he was definitely my brothers favorite based an appearance. S: He looks pretty but is probably evil or a jerk. 

Johan Both said he looks boring/mid. B: He doesn’t like his nose and said it looked silly. Also said Johan probably only communicates through mumbling which only his closest friends can make out. All in all my brother was out to roast him :(. S: She doesn’t like him because she likes stronger men or ladies, so not her type. Also said that his features are boring compared to the rest of the cast. Her guess personality wise was that he’s like Chrollo Lucilfer.

Nina B: She looks mid as well. Nothing else really. S: Thought she looked cute, but a bit plain. Said she would either love or hate Nina. No in-between. 

Grimmer B: He isn’t ugly but looks like he kidnaps children in an ice cream van which automatically makes him ugly. S: He looks nice and kinda cute. But his smile looks very fake which makes her think he’s either a plot twist villain or has a tragic backstory. She gave him the benefit of the doubt though. 

Lunge Both said he looks like Waluigi which automatically makes him a 10/10. Agreed that he must be the best character and most iconic. Has probably killed people before though.

Eva B: She looks like an older version of my brothers ex friend. Judging her appearance was a little difficult. S: She liked her, said her eyes look cool and she would go on a date with Eva. Hopes that Urasawa can write women ‘cause she could be amazing.

Roberto Both said he looks appalling. A solid 0/10 and probably not only ugly but also insufferable. Likes to see children cry and has no friends.

Jan Suk B: He looks ugly and very punchable. His guess was that Jan Suk is a rich asshole who complains about the existence of poor people. S: Looks mid and a little annoying. Probably likable though. (I think she said that out of pity because she knows he’s one of my favorites and they were slandering him.)

Martin B: 8/10 looks like blond Arnold Schwarzenegger. Is very cold-hearted though and probably kills people as a hobby. Would beat my brother up in a parking lot for fun. In a worst case scenario a literal n*zi. S: The prettiest of them all, exactly her type, would marry him on the spot if he let her. The hero of the story who deserves the world. After I told her about Martin and Eva my sister said she would gladly join a polycule with them.

Christof B: Said he looks pretty but something about him is off. He liked his nose though and specifically commented on how much better Christof’s nose looked compared to Johan’s. Probably good-minded and just has a bit of a mean face. In a worst case scenario he’s Martin’s n*zi disciple. S: Claimed he looks like an uglier version of Martin?! But still fine enough. Regularly gets kicked out of uni classes for making inappropriate comments/jokes. 

We also ranked all the minor ones but this already got a bit long oops. Might make more maybe not idk. Just one important final detail; my brother said Bonaparte is hot. Tag for all the people that who I think were interested in an update:  @btrflyng @muzumi-san @herrdoktorworm @rainlili

[arrowflier]

I absolutely loved your last ficlet, the one inspired by Take Me to Church (well, I love EVERYTHING you write), so I'm here with a thought that maybe you can turn into something:

What if, for some reason, Mickey has to speak in Ukrainian (your pick why, maybe directions to tourists or a phone call with a distant relative) and Ian witnesses it and just goes: 😳🤯🤤🥵😍, followed by "can you do that again when we're in bed"?

Thank you anon! Disclaimer that I do not know Ukrainian, so if google led me astray I apologize.

That Foreign Tongue

They were out in the rig, on their way to a pickup, when Mickey got a call.

He fumbled in his pocket to pull out his phone, frowned at it in consternation as it blared.

“Who the fuck?” he mumbled to himself, then swiped to decline.

Ian looked over as he pulled to the curb outside their destination, curious.

“What was that?” he asked.

“Fuck if I know,” was all he got in answer. “Not a fuckin’ Chicago number, that’s for sure. Not New York, either,” he added before Ian can check. Mandy wasn’t great at staying in contact, but they knew to answer if it looked like it could be her.

Ian shrugged, and reached back to grab the cash bag from behind Mickey’s seat.

“Sure it wasn’t Mexico or something?” he prodded with a forced casualness, and Mickey rolled his eyes as he shoved open the door to get out.

He met Ian around the front of the ambulance, and promptly poked him in the chest, hard.

“What was that for?” Ian asked, wounded, and Mickey clicked his tongue.

“For still fuckin’ fishin’ about that,” he told his husband. “It’s been two fucking years, let it go already.”

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Ian huffed. “Sorry for wanting to know more about what you did down there that has people calling in the middle of the—”

“That was one time!” Mickey exclaimed, arms going wide. “One fucking time, and I told you what it was about! Roberto needed me to check on his damn kid, it had nothing to do with—”

“Well how was I supposed to know that,” Ian interrupted loudly, “when you were speaking a whole different language?”

“Oh, for the love of…” Mickey trailed off as he stormed away from Ian down the sidewalk.

He wasn’t really mad. They did this song and dance around once a month, still, ever since one of his old contacts had found him and called him up. It stuck in Ian’s craw that Mickey had had people down there, without him, even though, as he explained to him once, he was glad about it at the same time. They both knew it didn’t really matter—sometimes it just needed to come out.

Sure enough, Ian caught up with him after only a few strides, falling in beside him naturally. His cheeks were slightly flushed, but otherwise there was no indication of their brief argument.

Mickey gave him two minutes before he tried to smooth it over.

Ian didn’t last one.

“You know,” his husband started, reaching up to scratch at his jaw. “I’m just making sure none of those foreigners come up here and take what’s mine.”

Mickey snorted. “Yeah?” he prompted. “Think they’re coming for our jobs and our husbands, now?”

Ian’s lips lifted in a grin, their banter back on track the way they liked it.

“I mean,” he said, “I can’t really blame them.” He grabbed Mickey by the arm and brought them both to a stop right outside their drop, tugging him close enough for their boots to kick together on the pavement.

“A hot, red-blooded American man like yourself,” Ian murmured, getting his arms around Mickey’s waist. “You’re quite the catch, Mr. Gallagher.”

“Mmm,” Mickey hummed, leaning up to bring their faces closer. “That right, Mr. Milkovich?”

He was just about to follow it up with a good old-fashioned make-up kiss, when his phone blared again from his pocket.

“Damn it,” he hissed as he thumped his heels back down and dug it out again. This time, he answered it immediately.

“Whoever the fuck you are,” he shouted into it, “you’re interruptin’ something here.”

An unfamiliar voice came down the line, barely audible to Ian where he still stood close but with a clearly chastising tone, and the fight went out of Mickey in an instant.

“Prīvіt,” Mickey muttered, looking almost bashful, and Ian did a double-take. That wasn’t English, or Spanish…he had to try and listen in on a third language, now? When did Mickey even find the time to learn this shit?

Ian watched silently as Mickey listened to whoever was on the line. His husband had folded into himself, holding the phone to his ear with one hand and his elbow with the other, casting a quick glance up at Ian before turning his attention away again.

“Shcho novogo?” he asked into the phone, and then a brilliant smile crossed his face a moment later. “Dobre, dobre,” he said, then “vitayu”.

It sounded like the caller asked him a question, next, but Ian couldn’t hear what Mickey answered, his husband lowering his voice and turning his back. Ian tried not to let himself feel hurt at the sudden shut-out.

A moment later, the call was over with a quiet “do pobachenn'a”, and Mickey faced him again.

Ian wanted to ask, but he waited instead, hoping Mickey would explain. Thankfully, he did.

“So, uh,” he started off nervously. “That was my…like, my great-aunt or something?”

Ian could feel his eyebrows rising. “You have family you still talk to?” he asked, and Mickey shook his head immediately.

“Nah, not really,” he admitted. “But this one, she’s back in Ukraine still, guess she calls around sometimes to check on me and Mandy.” He looked down at the dark screen of his phone, lips twisted. “Been a couple years,” he added. “Didn’t think she had the new number, but uh. Guess one of my cousins just had a kid or somethin', so she wanted to catch up.”

Family was a touchy subject, Ian knew. So he went for the next obvious question instead.

“Ukraine? That mean you speak Ukrainian?”

Mickey just looked at him. “No, Ian,” he offered dryly, “I just thought I’d make some weird sounds and see if she could read my mind from across the fuckin’ ocean.” Ian didn’t respond, so he tacked on, “Yes, I speak Ukrainian. Sort of.” He rubbed his nose, looked away and back. “That gonna be a problem for you?”

It was a fair enough question. But this wasn’t like the Spanish, which was never really the problem anyway. It wasn’t a reminder of time they spent apart, or things he didn’t now. It was just Mickey. And Mickey's voice, and the way it rolled over those unfamiliar phrases so cleanly, so...attractively.

“Not at all,” Ian clarified quickly. Too quickly, maybe, because Mickey’s cautious look gave way to a slow smile.

“Oh, really?” Mickey said, apparently delighted. He grinned even wider when Ian felt his face flush. So his husband sounded hot in other languages, fucking sue him.

“Better watch out, man," Mickey warned. "I hear foreigners like me are out huntin’ down men like you nowadays.”

Ian cleared his throat, and closed the distance between them again. “And that’s a problem how?” he asked.

“Didn’t say it was, miy cholovik,” Mickey murmured lowly, raising a hand to grip at Ian’s hair once he was close enough. Ian’s breath caught at the soft look on his eyes that accompanied the foreign words.

“What does that mean?”

Mickey pressed their lips together once, twice, before pulling back just enough to answer.

“Nothing bad, moye sontse,” he breathed, and Ian shuddered.

“We have a job to do,” he reminded Mickey weakly, like he hadn’t been the one to start this. “You keep saying that weird shit, we’re gonna have to cancel all our pickups today.”

“You better make some calls then, miy kokhanets,” Mickey chuckled against his lips. “But first…”

He pushed Ian back into a convenient alley right next to their original destination, shoving until they hit the rough brick wall. Ian didn’t protest as Mickey started to tug at his camo jacket, getting the zipper down far enough to mouth at Ian’s neck.

“Ya tebe kokhayu, Ian” Mickey muttered against his skin, pressing tighter as Ian clutched at his back. “Let me show you how much.”

--

Hours later, at home, Ian asked Mickey what else his aunt had said.

"Oh, not much," Mickey answered, snuggling closer. "Wanted to see if we could catch a flight sometime, go visit the old country, that kind of thing."

"Is that something you'd want to do?" he prodded, and Mickey shrugged, shoulders moving against Ian's chest.

"I guess," he said, unconvincingly disinterested. "I'd have to teach you the language, though, none of my mom's folks speak English."

Ian's brain ground to a halt. If the day had been any indication, he wasn't sure he could survive language lessons with his husband.

But never let it be said that Ian Gallagher backed down from a challenge.

"Sure," he agreed, and he was sure of one thing when he felt Mickey smile against his neck--it was going to be the best worst decision of his life.

--

According to my admittedly poor research, Mickey basically says hi, what's up, good, congrats, goodbye, then calls Ian my husband, my sun, my lover and says I love you. It's most likely all horribly butchered because I only speak English and a tiny bit of German, if you know Ukrainian I would happily take correction.

[miamochi-writes]

Heyo I saw your wolfwood writing

Wolfwood simp full time job here ✋

Can u do a reassuring wolfwood like the raeder is having a real panic attack,because they meet their old friends,toxic ones and started making fun of them and when they cried they bullied her more calling "crybaby" "u were always a crybaby, y/n"

"Hey,if u wanna change why don't u get eaten by a sand worm? Ahahhahahha"

And wolfwood stepped in,he manages to making them fo away but when he turns to ask at their s/o if they were okay they started gasping,clenching their chest

Sure thing! Although I feel like most of my Wolfwood content is going to have trigger warnings. Hope you like it!

Fake Friends Real Love

Trigger warning! Mentions of panic attacks and verbal abuse

You joined the group that consisted of Meryl, Roberto, Vash, and Wolfwood for some time now. You enjoyed traveling even despite being chased after police and some malicious people. Despite it, you loved every minute of it, especially if it meant spending time with a certain unorthodox priest. Wolfwood was the coolest guy you ever bumped into. He was strong physically and mentally, and despite how much of a tease he was, you've grown fond of him. You aspired to be as strong as him one day. Eventually, you and Wolfwood managed to start dating each other after spending time with him for so long. You could say you fell head over heels with his charm, while he saw you as the most precious person to call you his.

During your travels, you sent letters to your old friends back home. You wrote in detail the people you've faced, the cities you've visited, and the creatures you've encountered. At times, you would grow homesick, but luckily the gang was traveling to a city where your hometown happened to be on the way there. You begged Meryl to stop the car so you could visit your town for a day and she eventually gave in.

"Okay, but only for a day okay? Afterwards we need to get a move on," Meryl reminded you.

"Got it! You won't regret it Meryl!" you replied as you flashed her a grin. Before you could run off, someone grabbed you by the back of your shirt.

"Hey! What gives?" you asked as your eyes landed on Wolfwood.

"Where do you think you're running off to?" he asked as he blew his cigarette smoke away from you.

"I'm going to see some of my old friends for a bit and I'll be back before dinner. Not like I'm going to get myself in a fight. Now can you let go?" you asked with a pout.

"Don't be reckless y/n, and make sure you're back before then," Wolfwood added as he lowered his shades so you could see that handsome gaze of his. You turned away so you could hide your blush from him.

"Got it Nico," you answered back knowing how calling him by that name made him feel. Wolfwood gave you a peck on the cheek before letting you go as you ran off and waved at the gang.

You told your friends you would be in town soon and to meet up at the usual hangout that was close to a diner. You ran until you saw three familiar faces huddled up together. You called out to them with a smile on your face as they looked back.

"Hi guys! It's been awhile!" you managed to speak while catching your breath.

"Well I'll be, if it isn't y/n in the flesh," your friend Nikki said as she lifted her hat up to get a good look at you.

"Guess it's good that Ryan got that letter of yours the other day," Tessa chimed in as Ryan waved the letter up.

"Of course! I had to send it out early just in case. Plus I wasn't sure if you got my previous letters since you don't reply you know?" you explained.

"Oh we got them, we just had things come up," Ryan said as he pulled out a stack of the letter you previously sent out.

"So, I guess your latest letter was true, but you know I find it hard to believe that little ol' y/n, is traveling with a rag tag group of people and 'kicking butt'," Nikki piped in as your brows furrowed.

"What do you mean? Of course it's true. How do you think I got back here in town?" you reasoned as Tessa walked up to you.

"Oh really? Because last time I remembered was you being a little crybaby for the smallest things. Remember how you couldn't even ride a Thomas and you cried when it kicked you off?" Nikki butted in as Tessa giggled.

"That was a long time ago, that's not me anymore," you argued. Tessa then got close to your face and spoke again.

"Or how you couldn't stand the sight of worms? So imagine us reading a letter where a sand worm ate your group. You must have been crying up a storm," Tessa brought up as she laughed.

"It did happen, but Wolfwood saved us!" you replied as you felt your hands shaking and your breathing rising gradually.

"Oh don't get me started on Wolfwood," Nikki giggled.

"Oh Wolfwood was so cool when he brought out his gun to save us all. He's so strong and mysterious, you wouldn't believe it. When I was trapped, he rescued me and made sure I was okay. How did I get lucky to have him as my boyfriend?" Ryan said in a mocking voice where he tried to mimic you in a falsetto while the girls laughed.

"Stop it! That's not funny! And it's true!" you raised your voice trying not let your voice crack but failed miserably while clenching your chest.

"If you did travel with this so called great group of yours, Wolfwood should have known how much you cry and let you get eaten by that sandworm and do all of us a huge favor. Also in what world would you have a boyfriend who puts up with your whiny self," Ryan commented as he continued to laugh at you.

"I thought you guys were my friends," you muttered as you felt your head spinning with how the three of them were causally throwing insults left and right at you.

"Oh what are you going to do? Cry about it you crybaby?" Nikki asked mid laugh as you looked down to hide your flushed face, but you noticed the ground was starting to distort. You felt nauseous the more they laughed. You tried to take a step back to regain your balance and lean against a wall.

"Look guys, I think y/n is about to cry. What a loser," Tessa pointed out as the others giggled.

"Just like old times. Once a crybaby, always a crybaby," Nikki added as you felt your lips quivering and the nausea get worse. You tried to leave, but Tessa and Nikki surrounded you and pinned your arms to the wall.

"Where's your boyfriend Wolfwood now y/n?" Ryan asked as he got closer to your face while you struggled to free yourself from their grasp.

"Guys, this isn't funny anymore. I can't breathe," you mentioned as you felt yourself starting to hyperventilate.

"Oh please, this is nothing y/n. Grow up," Tessa spat.

"You know what I think girls? I think Wolfwood knows just how much of a loser and waste of space y/n is. He probably pities you, that's the only reason I can get behind on why he would go out with someone like you," Ryan followed up with his words stinging like venom with each syllable. You desperately tried to say something but you felt a full on panic attack as their words filled your mind. Your tears were overflowing, you felt your heart palpitate, and shortness of breath as you hyperventilated.

"Look at you, pathetic. If only Wolfwood could see how much of a mess you are," Nikki commented laughing at you.

"AHEM"

Your eyes widened at the sound as your so called friends turned towards the sound of that noise.

"No wonder y/n was gone long, it's because you pieces of shits are hogging 'em," Wolfwood commented.

"Wait, you're real?" Nikki asked.

"Realer than all three of you combined. The name is Wolfwood, don't wear it out," he replied as he cracked his neck.

"So you mean to tell us not only are you real, but you're actually dating this person here?" Ryan pointed out.

"Yeah and if you don't fucking let Y/n go, I'm going to make all of you regret being born and laying a finger on 'em," he threatened as he put his weapon down, causing the ground to shake. The three friends stumbled back and let go of you as Wolfwood took one step towards you.

"Did y/n mention that this thing here isn't an ordinary cross?" Wolfwood asked with a shit eating smirk as the three of them trembled.

"Shit, we messed with the wrong person. Let's run while we can guys," Nikki suggested as they all high tailed their way out of the scene. You felt yourself stumble towards the ground, but Wolfwood grabbed you before you could land. He got you to stand up and put both of his hands on your shoulders.

"Hey, hey, look at me Y/n. I'm right here. They're gone now," he reassured but you couldn't focus with your panic attack.

"Shit, okay, follow me y/n. Take a deep breathe in. Breathe in," Wolfwood instructed as he inhaled deeply and you followed him. After 5 seconds passed, he exhaled and you followed through. He did it again and you listened to his instructions.

"Okay, what five things do you see y/n?" he asked you.

"I see you, your glasses, your cross, your box of cigarettes, and the ground," you told him.

"What four things can you touch?" he asked again.

"You, my outfit, the wall, and my hair," you replied.

"Good, you're doing great," Wolfwood said as he continued asking 3 more questions until you've calmed down.

"I'm sorry you had to see that. I thought they were my friends," you apologized. Wolfwood sighed and rubbed your back before speaking.

"You have nothing to apologize for. From what it look like they're shit friends. But you don't need them. You got Vash, Meryl, Roberto, and me," he answered as you flashed a small smile at him.

"Thanks Nico, I appreciate that," you said giving him a kiss on the cheek.

"Next time I tag along with you. That's the last time I see someone try to hurt you or make you cry. And for the record, I would save you from that sand worm a 100 times if it meant being with you," Wolfwood commented as he kissed your head and then your lips.

"Now come on, everyone is waiting for us," he added as he took your hand in his right hand while he carried his gun with his left hand. You stayed close to his side. He made sure no one dared to get close to you while he walked you back to the group. Despite how the day started off for you, Wolfwood was there to salvage whatever was left of it. Wherever you went, you knew he would be there for you and that's all you needed.

[where-is-my-beheading-ceremony]

More headcannons since I have nothing better to do and I'm hyperfixating on nexo knights this evening

-Post season 4, Jestro tried to escape the kingdom before his sentence was over, wanting to start life anew with the company of Roberto maybe since they're the only one who were still okay with him

-He almost managed. When I mentioned all the electrical charge he still had in him, he used it to cut out the power in the place he was held in and ended up knocking out all the dependent power in the capital. After that he barely had any charge left in him, which is good since it's not supposed to be there in the first place

-Only after the knights caught him was when they were willing to listen to his side of the story

-After that, he stayed with the knights in the fortrex and was able to roam around towns freely if there was someone keeping watch on him. Forests and other places were okay though

-Jestro has some minor sourness towards Merlok because of multiple small reasons and refuses to see him as a hero to all of Knightonia

-He criticizes (in his mind) his lack of thinking when protecting the kingdom, his lack of ability to keep Monstrox as a book away, the fact they never got rid of him, how he hid the fact he's Clay's uncle, how quick he is to give up and how much he found out the Wizard council is corrupt which Merlok is a part of. Also the fact he probably keeps even more secrets, said straight to his face "Can't wait for you to reveal another major secret when it's too late." and to be truthful, Jestro is right for not fully trusting Merlok, they have many secrets that shouldn't be left hidden.

TW: MENTIONS OF SCARS (safe to read after the " - - - - - "line)

.

.

.

.

- Jestro has a large lightning shaped scar that goes down the left side of his back and reach till his calfs

- He also has scars from being zapped in the head, but his hair is puffy and long enough to cover them fully since they're not at the top of his head

-A few burn scars are just scattered around his body from his first possession. Living in a castle of lava was dangerous even though he had a minor immunity to it

-He never dared to let go of the staffs he had and managed to keep excellent guard on them, his grip on them always vicious. It resulted in calloused palms.

-Since it always annoyingly stung, he had bandages wrapped around his palms to let them heal a bit

-During his second possession, Jestro was very detached from most of his senses and emotions. All he knew is that he was alive and served the purpose of bringing chaos and destruction.

-That caused him to be less receptive to things he should avoid, like anything that could lightly harm him, jumping off of high places, falling, bruising himself on accident. His body wasn't in a state that a human could bare so he never even noticed if he was cold or not, it wasn't natural blood that was flowing through his veins after all.

-unfortunately there definitely are lives that were lost to his hands

--------------------------------------

-Looking at him in seasons 3-4 just made me cold. Man barely had any of his outfit left

-He's a runner, he's a trackstar. This young man can run further than any of the knights. He's ran away from dangers and problems his whole life. He's short, but his legs are relatively long and he doesn't find it hard to run since he's trained to be light on his feet.

-His flexibility is frightening. You will see him casually relaxing in an unnatural position for sure. He would often use his flexibility as a sort of intimidation thing in seasons 3-4, looking like some type of spider with his body movement. If he were to start approaching you, his ragdoll body would seem a lot more terrifying than you first may think

-He offers to help the Knights do some flexibility exercises since their lack of ability to even do a decent split pains him

-Since he stays with the knights post season 4, that's when he starts to help them exercise and spends more time with them casually as well as joins them for morning runs

-With a little help, he decided to make himself useful and with enough knowledge, became a sort of aid to the knights, helping them with any injuries after battles or training.

-The best weapon he can work with is a spear or daggers (anything light), though he still refuses to train with any weapon.

-This poor man now avoids any sort of magic like it's a plague, afraid to get involved with it as his body is too receptive to it.

-He still encourages Clay to carefully train his magic though.

-This man surprisingly has some knowledge of programming (inspired by the season 5 episode 1 script)

-Due to that, he sort of found something he could talk about with Robin and Ava. And even if he doesn't know much, he knows enough to keep the conversation going

-He got along with Ava and Robin pretty quickly and enjoys the fact they don't try and expect something from him

-Since he's usually in the fortrex while the Knights are on missions, he ended up spending enough time with these two children to become a sort of big brother, caretaker figure. Not a big one, but he still tries to help them

-He understands Ava and Robin a lot and doesn't enjoy the pressure that is always placed on the two of them since they're still young so if there's any way for him to deny any non priority requests the knights have for the two of them, he doesn't hesitate to do so unless it's something Ava and Robin want to work on

-After a nightmare, Jestro gets very bad, but thankfully temporary paranoia and there's no reasoning with him, best to try and comfort him and wait it out.

-He once tried to visit the lava village since he doesn't remember the negative view the lava monsters have on him

-He considered himself to not be too harsh on them since he sometimes encouraged breaks and would spoil them with tasty treats, just like he later did with the stone monsters, even when he was a lot more detached around that time.

-Turns out, the Lava monsters were n o t glad to see him, but thankfully had no intentions to hurt him

-They did tell him some hurtful words and tried to violently kick him out

-Jestro was in such shock from that, but nevertheless, did his best to quickly apologize and show how genuine it was since the lava monsters were the closest thing he ever had to a family. They were always there and were capable to be genuine and had amazing dreams. Their warmth gave him comfort and that's what he confessed in his apology

-Reluctant, the Lava monsters forgave him, but Jestro still felt a bit detested from what they had said about him earlier. Which left him in shock for quite a bit since nothing hurt him more than words, everyone knows that by now.

-Good thing though, he fixed his relationship with them quickly though! And now is an awaited guest at the village all the time. Often times participating in the activities of each lava monster. Especially Magmar's cookie baking and the bakery's work

-Another thing he avoids like a plague is any student or teacher he sees from the Academy he went to. He could not handle any confrontation with them and is most detested by those people.

-while after season 2, people saw Jestro more as an annoyance and as trouble to still be allowed to do as he please. After the events of season 4, Jestro actually managed to strike fear in many of these people since the kingdom was severely damaged after these two, you could say, monster wars.

-He has a mild liking for animals like reptiles or those most people dislike, like rats or Hyenas so when he was once at the zoo with the other knights, he admired the serpent exhibit and at the same time had to stop Clay from losing his mind since Clay has a fear of snakes.

-After he managed to ease his attachment to his Jester attire, he once exited the bathroom after a shower without his hat and with some random sweater and sweatpants and was almost beaten up because the knights thought he was an intruder.

-Clay was the only one that ever actually saw or touched Jestro's hair

-Jestro's first hat was actually made by his mother and since he didn't want to let go of it when he became a Jester, he altered it to be a Jester had, but kept the same material

-He has vague memories of his mother, the nicknames she gave him, the toys he used to have, but has absolutely zero information about his father.

Lmao I'll make part 3 right after this since I have a lot more ideas, but just don't want to stuff them into one post

[sophiamcdougall]

EXPLAINING SANREMO

(PART 1) Last week I was swept away, helpless, by the avalanche that is the Sanremo Song Festival and I am still recovering. For your safety, I’ve tried to keep the insanity contained on my Italian side blog. But I want to try to offer you a rough summary of what I’ve learned. Sanremo inspired the Eurovision Song Contest. Over five nights, 24 acts, each with a brand new song, compete at the Ariston theatre in Sanremo for a tacky little golden lion, and the glory of being the year’s Song for Italy. 2020 marked the 70th Sanremo, so depending on who you ask, it’s a venerable national treasure or it’s stale and embarrassing (Many Italians are sick of it. Or say they are, but see below.) It is also an EPIC STRUGGLE between THE FORCES OF GOOD AND EVIL FOR THE SOUL OF HUMANITY Let’s meet some of the protagonists: 

AKA: host Amadeus, entertainer and comedian Rosario Fiorello, il Bel Paese, and competitor Achille Lauro.

Amadeus got things off to a bad start before the show even began by praising his various female co-hosts - all seasoned TV professionals - for their beauty and their ability to stay “a step behind a man.” Outrage ensues, Amadeus claims he did not mean it like that, but keep this in mind for later. Also competing are Morgan (below, left) and Bugo (below, right.), who are performing a duet.

Going in, the one thing I know about Morgan is that on more than one occasion, he trashtalked my beloved and blameless Fabrizio Moro. So I hate him and want him to suffer. And apparently he has quite the reputation for throwing tantrums, picking on fellow-artists and sabotaging events he’s part of. But hey. He’s supposedly talented and Bugo clearly thinks he deserves another chance.  And we’re off!

Irene Grandi kicks things off with  “Finalmente Io” (“Finally Me”). But I’m starting with her not so much because she’s the first to sing as because I don’t think the song’s  got enough attention -- either for the fact that it bangs or for what it represents in the drama that’s about to unfold.

Finalmente Io is what, in the business, we call foreshadowing.

There’s a magical thing that happens to women with when they turn 40. The  develop Not-Giving-A-Fuck superpowers. The song is basically about that. It’s about freedom, and self-acceptance, and being 100% done with male bullshit. (It's also a bit of an ADHD anthem but let’s leave that aside for now.)  “I’ve lost all my patience, and all my fragility,” she sings. 

And, “If you want sex, let’s do it now. Heeeeeeere.”

Irene is the portent everyone misses, a harbinger of what is to come. 

Think of her as John the Baptist.  Onwards. So the first thing one discovers about the Sanremo Festival is that just because we have to get through 24 “big” acts AND 6 (?) new/junior artists, and they all have to perform multiple times, that doesn’t mean there’s any RUSH. Guest singers wander on and perform a song or ten. There’s comedy. We can stop everything to talk about football.  A lady comes on and talks for a million years about how her granny taught her that True Beauty is Found Within. There are also speeches about important subjects like violence against women. In fact, we are going to talk about that a lot, but also a bunch of competent and experienced female TV personalities are stuck taking turns at playing Amadeus’s Glamorous Assistant of the evening and he can’t shut up about how beautiful they all are while they cringe and lean subtly away from him. So it’s ... slow, and awkward, but within its own cheesy terms, things are normal. Too normal. Enter Achille Lauro. 

Softly, almost whispering, he begins to sing a song called  “Me ne frego”  (”I don’t care” - but with an edge of “fuck you”). This is both an everyday Italian expression and a fascist motto. Well, it was till now. 

A nation is convulsed. Right-wing Italian boomers are screaming because YOU! CAN’T! DO! THAT! AT! SANREMO! THERE! ARE! CHILDREN! WATCHING! Italian Tumblr, which like the rest of Tumblr is feral, thirsty and gay, is screaming for different reasons entirely. 

Achille, you scandalous creature, what have you done? What have you got to say for yourself?

Something strange and magical  has released and it cannot be contained. On with the songs. Good songs, bad songs, blah songs. I like “Tikibombom” by Levante - a love letter to weirdos and rebels, “Rosso di Rabbia” (Rage Red) by Anastasio about being, well, angry but scared you can’t do anything useful with it, and “Eden” by  Rancore, about... the nature of sin?? touching on everything from September 11 to the mafia to Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.   However, this contest is being judged (mostly - it’s complicated) by an industry jury of FOOLS, COWARDS, and TRAITORS who KNOW NOT WHAT THEY DO, so virtually all of the above artists are so far languishing towards the bottom of the provisional rankings. Achille ends up in 17th place and  Rancore at 22.

Truly, the light hath shone in the darkness and the darkness knoweth it not.

LOOK WHAT YOU’VE DONE TO RANCORE. 

Rapper down, repeat RAPPER DOWN. SEND HELP.

However, for people who went in implacably biased against Morgan, it’s not all bad news. "Sincero” (Sincere) by Morgan and Bugo is in last place. Whether this is anything to do with the song or because Morgan is a nightmare of a person who has systematically alienated everyone in the Italian music industry except the trusting Bugo ... we can but ponder.  Sanremo grinds on. Days blur into each other and I’m not even going to try to cover events in exact order. Sanremo knows no order. Sanremo is like the universe, linear time is a construct that doesn’t really exist, and chaos happens very, very slowly.  But meanwhile, somewhere on the astral plane:

At least that is what I deduce must have happened.

The competitors and guests look deep within themselves. Do they have what it takes? Are they ready to answer the call? 

Let’s see! It’s Covers Night! Which is also Duets Night!

That’s Elettra Lamborghini (yes, that Lamborghini) and Myss Keta.

 Are they in tune? No. Does it matter? ALSO NO.

Meanwhile ... something strange is brewing between Amadeus and Fiorello...

 But wait, PLOT TWIST.

Enter Roberto Benigni.

The beloved actor and director is the latest avatar of the Dionysian frenzy that has chosen Sanremo 2020 for the place of its birth. He is the One who will unite the electric queer mayhem and the impossible grinding tedium  of Sanremo. In him, the two strains will fuse and become unstoppable. He is going to talk about sex for twenty-six minutes

He reads from the Song of Songs, which ... I knew it was sexy, and all, but is it really like that? Do you ever think about NAKED BODIES? Roberto does. Do you believe in PHYSICAL LOVE? Roberto wishes you would. Anyway, just think of all the sex we could all be having, literally right now, right heeeeere, whether we are  “a woman, and her man. Or a man and his man. Or a woman, and her woman!” He is awful. He is magnificent. He is excruciating. He is spellbinding. We are hanging on his every word and we are considering chewing our own arms off to escape. He proposes an orgy in the orchestra pit. 

Hand on heart, all of that happened. Italian Tumblr, bear witness.

And what of Achille Lauro? He unleashed this madness upon us all,  is he just going to sit back and let everyone else do all the work? Of course not. Achille Lauro came to bring not peace, but a sword, to the world of toxic masculinity and gender in general and his work is not yet done.

”I too was once a little girl,” Achille sings.

Dressed as Bowie-as-Ziggy, Achille duets with Annalisa on “Gli Uomini Non Cambiano” - “Men Don’t Change”. It’s a heartbreaking song by Mia Martini from 1992 about male abuse of women, and not a single word, or a single pronoun has been changed.

However, although he’s the one in the competition, and the one dressed to dazzle, he leaves Annalisa the spotlight. It’s like she’s the tortured protagonist of the song and he’s a voice in her head, a sympathetic spirit who can’t swoop in to rescue her but can quietly affirm that she deserves better than the the hellish treatment she’s singing about. in fact, he pointedly stays a step behind her at all times. And she’s majestic. 

Of course, he’s not fucking DONE

He’s still got to sing “Me Ne Frego” again. Can he top the cape-drop? You be the judge.

So Italian Tumblr,  is now writhing on the carpet,  making a sound only bats can hear, and shitposting itself into delirium, but has it all been ENOUGH?

NO.

Poor Rancore has died again. Toxic masculinity still exists. Amadeus is still pretty gross. Everyone is going to have to GAY HARDER. CAN THEY DO IT? This post is, like Sanremo itself, getting insanely long, so ... STAY TUNED FOR PART TWO, in which Fiorello’s true nature as a chaos being is revealed, Amadeus faces his Calvary, and the gun on the stage goes off.  ----- UPDATE: Part 2 is here

[the-darklings]

If v/s but santi waking up with amnesia n not remembering anything how would V feel? (I crave angst hint hint)

Oooh, Dory!Santino has made a comeback, I see. We love to see it. 

Okay, first of all, one very important thing to consider here is the fact that there was a major relationship break for S/V in ch13 in the form of “I choose you.” & “He loves you.” V is kinda now in the place where she can try but can no longer pretend with Santino. Her default setting has always been to push it all away and wall him off which she can no longer do. 

In terms of Santino,,, I think he would always remember her in a sense. Even if it isn’t memory necessarily, it would still very much be a feeling. A familiarity. It kinda falls back on my mentioned before ideal that every version of Santino will always love every version of V. That draw will always be there for him regardless of anything.  

I think for her just seeing barely any recollection would be,,, devastating to be frank. She’s so used to having him by her side. Even as a friend, a companion, someone she trusts. Sometimes I feel like people forget that they have known each other for six years. A lot has happened in those six years that you’ve gotten only glimpses into. 

She would 100% stay by his side even if it hurts though. This time, it’s her turn to protect him and keep him safe because too many would be eager to use this against Santino and Camorra if it got out. So the Four, Ares/Roberto and V just form a bubble of protection. 

(I have many thoughts so the rest is going under the cut)

The beginning is rough. Santino is completely different. He gets confused easily and while his injuries heal that’s extremely dangerous. He is afraid, he doesn’t know who these people are or why everything is hurting so badly. No is able to calm him down until V finally shows up looking like she’s been through hell herself. The realisation that he doesn’t remember anything is crushing. No first meeting, no dancing, or joking, no Chicago, or Naples, or Prague, no war against Albanians, no “I can wait.” No amore, cara mia, bella. He looks at her but his eyes are empty of that warmth that’s uniquely hers. It’s a punch and a kick but she grits her teeth because he needs her. She’s the one to pull him to her, using gentle Italian to communicate. And there is something. This woman who sparks something. Through terror and confusion emerges something else. He’s caught in her stare and goes still. She’s telling him to breathe he realises. In his mother tongue. One, two, three, four, five. Like she’s done it a thousand times herself. 

She tells him who she is. It takes time. Baby steps. His mind is scattered. The doctor tries to check him but his panic fits explode like volcanoes and it’s her that he anchors himself to. She tells him they were friends. She tells him they’ve known each other for years. He believes her. Unlike others who feel distant and unknown, she brings warmth. She reminds him of the sun. She takes him out to the terrace often. Talks with him. He likes her voice. He listens more than talks. She looks so sad when she thinks he can’t see her looking at him though. She’s important to him. He doesn’t know how he knows but with her things are just a bit clearer. He can almost grasp memories. Without her, everything is cold and terrifying. The first time he wakes up and she isn’t in the apartment, everything slips away. He regresses. He doesn’t know these people. She rushes back to the penthouse after a frantic phonecall from Roberto only to find him trashing his room, completely overcome by panic. It’s manic and raw and bubbles right out of him and nothing makes sense, who is he, why is he here, and-

And she’s there. The sun. The woman who smells of flowers and soil and grass and gentle murmurs. He grasps onto her like a lifeline and she holds him, breathing into his neck. He’s Santino - always Santi to her though - as she talks about his life. She pulls him to the floor, her fingers slipping through his hair and holds his injured hands. He curls into her. She is the only safety he can feel anymore. She’s V. She’s important. He feels like himself with her. She keeps talking. He’s practically slumped in her lap as she smooths his curls away, telling him every little thing she can recall about him and their time together. She pauses for a while at one point, her expression softening before she tells him about Emilia. She was his mother. She died to protect him. She was so, so brave just like he is. She would be proud of him, his sun tells him, and he doesn’t know why he feels a weight in his chest. Why such acute longing rakes through his chest. 

But there is something, something, something. A glimmer of a face. He grasps onto it with teeth and fury and desperation, yanking on it harshly.

Her name was Emilia. 

It’s the first recollection he manages to retain. His mother. And V, this woman of warmth is the one who had shone on that darkness, and given him a part of himself back.  

It’s around then that they realise that maybe - just maybe - they can claw some things back. Even if it’s just pieces. 

They go back to Italy, to Naples. V walks him through his home. Hand-in-hand. He still doesn’t like having her far away from him. He still slips too much without her. It’s getting easier though. Just a bit. Baby steps, she says with a smile. He likes her smile. He likes her, too. 

They eat together, she shows him the gardens, she picks oranges and watches him closely. He feels like he should recall something here. Something important but it doesn’t come. She looks disappointed but hides it well with a quick smile and he hates that expression because he sees it often - it’s the he-failed-to-remember-something expression. 

He finds pictures of his mother that same day. It’s right beside a photo of him and his sun. She looks beautiful. They look...they’re there, together, and something in his chest swells. Him in the photo is looking at his sun like she really is the sun but there is more. There is desire and longing and fondness there that he tells himself won’t be right to feel for her now.

Several months crawl by like that. Pieces come back, others don’t. He gets headaches often. All side effects the doctors tell them. Normal, even good, they believe. It’s a battle he wants to win. Some days he’s happy, others he’s miserable. He’s happy when she’s with him, soothing his headaches away. He wants to know her again. He asks her questions. She answers them all even though he sees the faint sadness that clings to her as she does. 

One day he apologises for it. For forgetting her. He can’t imagine doing any of this without her. Without he won’t have gotten this far anyway. She calls him an idiot and hugs him close and that brings back a piece of her back. A faint recall of him in a hospital bed, poison, and “You came for me.”

Time crawls. She takes him to a secluded house not far from his home and he finds paintings there. The place is quint and peaceful and he loves it there at once. His sun tells him that this place belonged to his mother. He loves it even more, then. He watches her in the light as she tells him all she knows about this place, transfixed. He never wants her to disappear like his memories did. Not ever.  

One day, a year and a half after the incident, he wakes up to birds chirping outside his window. He doesn’t like waking up early but wants to see his sun. Wants to hear her laugh. Maybe something new will be rediscovered today. Those days always end up being his favourite. Her smile is the brightest on those days. 

He walks downstairs and can already hear her voice which makes him smile. She’s discussing something with the one he doesn’t like Hector. He can hear others in the kitchen, too. 

“I was thinking of taking Santino to Paris,” she says. “Is that doable given the situation?”

Paris. Something, something, something. 

He enters the kitchen and stops dead in his tracks. 

She’s standing there, bathed in sunlight. Her feet bare, a pale sundress on, and her loose hair damp from the shower as she looks in his direction her smile widening at the sight of him and something inside his head cracks-

It’s like a hole being punched through his head with enough strength to almost make him stumble. 

Before there were only puzzle pieces he was staring at blankly and without understanding them and now there’s everything. 

“(Name),” he breathes, amazed, relieved. 

He watches as her expression crumbles to pieces at that and she stumbles through the kitchen, throwing her arms around him as she sobs into his neck.

“I forgot to tell you something, amore mio,” he breathes, savouring that pet-name, even though the ache against his temple as everything tries to settle inside his head. “I love you.”