#Riverdale 3.11

[riverdale-retread]

Thinking about the fact that Hermione tells Jughead that Hiram hiring Tall Boy to shoot at Hermione or his cheating on her didn’t make her all that mad, but Hiram’s drug business indirectly causing Veronica to have seizures at school moved her to hire FP Jones to assassinate her husband who terrifies her (of course, FP failed bc that’s just how he is, he fails at things).  I can’t tell if this is actually true or if this is what Hermione calculates would be the story that wins over Jughead Jones, who wants to be loved by his mother and wants his plot-mirror Veronica to be loved by her mother too.

[staliasjeronica]

Riverdale 3.11 Thoughts *Spoilers*

- MY BOYS SWEET PEA AND FANGS ❤️😍

- Does Jughead think his own father is as fucking stupid as he is? Like, not only are you incapable of being discreet and therefore able to force Tall Boy to just get a bus ticket using a gun… but people would have noticed that? But I’m glad that there’s a sheriff who’ll help out the one group of people that has always been fucked over by the government… even though I still don’t get why Sheriff Keller couldn’t just get his job back lol (but I am here for the FP and Hermione team up because it mirrors Jeronica)

- wAIT FP WAS SITTING ABOVE TALL BOY? THAT’S DISGUSTING. And I don’t know how long its been but couldn’t he have smelled him? Also I love that instead of burying him and then throwing a random ass party, he just… didn’t do that.

- I don’t know why Jughead emphasizing that Betty is his girlfriend is funny to me. It’s almost like he’s like “my girlfriend… yeah… I’m dating her. Right. Not the girl I want to be dating, Veronica. Betty. I’m Betty’s boyfriend.”

- Betty talking to her dad… about Penelope Blossom… about getting away with murder… BITCH YOUR DAD IS IN JAIL FOR MURDERING PEOPLE YOU FUCKING BAFFOON

- I know that my boy Archie is dealing with a lot of shit but like they’re totally going to make him almost as insufferable as Betty aren’t they? They better fucking not

- “A hell of a good looking one just walked through my door” Okay they’re clearly getting bored with Bughead and are slowly integrating Jeronica and I am so fucking here for it!!!! I can’t wait for Jeronica to work together!!!

- We all know that with how Veronica really is, she would eavesdrop on her parents but instead the writers make her interrupt at the worst moments like really???

-  The two people Veronica and Jughead mentioned… they were a married couple sooooo EXCELLANCE

-  See… THIS is why Jughead is NOT an investigator (same with Betty and Bughead) YOU DON’T JUST FUCKING ASK THE QUESTION YOU TRY TO GET IT OUT OF THEM WITHOUT ASKING DIRECTLY YOU STUPID FUCK

-  Hermione, a grown ass adult, actually giving Jughead information is not realistic, especially handing him files that Sheriff Minetta gave her. Like… if I were her I’d play his journaling off as a joke and just say “yeah he was cheating so get out of my office bc I don’t want to think about this shit right now”

-  HERMIONE SHADING BETTY I’M SO HERE FOR IT

- Fred I love you and I’m glad you’re caring about your son but that was… not the way to handle it.

- NANA ROSE FUCKING LOOKING AT BETTY LIKE “bitch why the fuck are you here?” IS SO GREAT

- TONI COMING TO CHERYL’S RESCUE. TONI ASKING IF EVERYTHING WAS OKAY, AND CHERYL FINALLY BEING DONE WITH BETTY’S SHIT AND CALLING HER A GNAT I’M HOLLERING

- Also Betty is low key afraid of Toni!!! The look she had when Toni came in? She knows that Toni would never allow her to fuck with Cheryl

- MY BOYS AGAIN. But all of this could have been avoided if you had just buried him like you were supposed to. Also, it bothers me how he only treats Sweet Pea and Fangs as his lap dogs. He’s having Sweet Pea tail someone (yet from what I’ve seen Jughead goes with him so there’s no reason to force Sweet Pea to but whatever it’s more screen time for my baby

- BROOOOOOOOO SMITHERS AND REGGIE TEAM UP LET’S FUCKING GO

- See, again, why Betty isn’t an investigator… she knocks and nobody answers so she’s just like “let’s go”

- THAT GIF I SAID WAS ACTUALLY CUTE OF BUGHEAD WAS THEM REALIZING THAT PENELOPE WAS IN THE SEX CLUB LMFAOOOOOO

- Betty thinking that Penelope is exploiting these girls who are willingly doing this as if she never had that disgusting dominant dark Betty phase fuck outta here with your hypocrisy Betty (and Jughead, I’m still bitter about Choni being kicked out)

- Don’t most guys smile lovingly after they kiss their girlfriend and watch them walk away? mmhm much to think about. ALSO THANK GOD FOR DR. CURDLE I DON’T HAVE TO DEAL WITH DETECTIVE (more like defective) BUGHEAD

- JOSIE SINGING YAS BITCH! Now just stop bringing her in just to sing and give her a fucking storyline!

- Wait so Veronica is actually selling alcohol now? How? And when? I know that thing from the casino happened but I just figured they switched back to mocktails… damn…

- Wow I actually almost forgot that Reggie and Archie used to be friends… like… sure I get throwing him out for his own good but not having any emotion when the guard slams him down on the counter? Reggie would have been like “now wait a sec…” but they want to make it seem like Josie is the only one who cares huh. STILL THO ARCHOSIE RISE

- JUGHEAD CALLED VERONICA A PRETTY GIRL. JERONICA RISE

- REGGIE HELPING OUT VERONICA YES PLEASE. Ugh I love Veggie… And yes I use that in a non-anti way unlike people who called Swosie SweetPussy

- AND YET AGAIN WHY BETTY ISN’T A DETECTIVE. STOP TELLING PEOPLE WHAT YOU HAVE ON THEM.

- Betty really is acting like her dad isn’t the black hood huh…

- PENELOPE BROUGHT UP HER DELIVERING CHIC TO HIS DEATH HELL YEAH. I mean that’s good but she’s still shit

- SWEET PEA!!!!!!!!

- God can’t people stay dead? Like the only person we want to see back are Midge, Ben and Dilton, and Joaquin! Joaquin you could have brought back by having Swangs fake his death to get away from the Gargoyle Gang but nooooo you really kill off your POC LGBT character…

- FP shooting Hiram because Hermione asked JERONCIA PARALLELS (asking them to do something for the other)

- Hermione crossing FP? Why would you do this? But also for some reason I don’t fully believe it…

- FALICE FALICE FALICE FALICE FALICE!!!

- But why does Alice only seem herself in front of FP? Like in front of her daughter she’s crazy and brainwashed but not in front of FP… why?

- Also why does Hermione even want to frame FP? Like what’s the reason?

- Veronica Lodge confused at Reggie’s Bad Boys 2 reference? OOC BUT IDC IT WAS KINDA CUTE SOMEHOW

- I love Veggie but I don’t like how Veronica is mostly treating him as a side piece, as her bodyguard than a potential boyfriend.

- YOU CAN’T JUST ASK REGGIE TO BREAK INTO A FUCKING PRISON BY HIMSELF

- After all that’s happened… why would you let Archie go see Hiram? Alone? Or even at all? And also she did have every right to think that he would shoot her father bc… I mean… he has said that he’d kill her father like multiple times but whatever

- Oh so now that he’s not dating your daughter you don’t want to kill him? Fuck you, Hiram.

- DO! NOT! TRUST! HIRAM! FUCKING! LODGE!

- The couple that burns drugs and will probably get high from the fumes is a couple that stays together!

- “There’s only one person who Betty can talk to about the revelation Penelope Blossom revealed to her” *is imagining Archie, the only person Betty opens up to and shit* *sees her and her fucking serial killer father* STOP MAKING HIM LOOK LIKE A GOOD GUY. HE IS NOT A GOOD GUY. I love how Betty said she doesn’t want to be bad like him, or be associated with him… but is now visiting him. Also, what kind of prison would allow a serial killer visitation rights?

- This is Betty, again, going down a dark side and it’s probably going to make her even more insufferable and Bughead even more toxic as Jughead fucks away her thoughts of being dark and shit. sigh iT’S GETTING OLD RIVERDALE STOP NO ONE LIKES THIS

- “Maybe not every murderer is guilty” BITCH YOU LITERALLY— this better be when Jughead has enough and fucking breaks up with her Jesus Christ I hate Betty so fucking much

- Well of course it’s not black and white but NOBODY deserves to die (However certain crimes that I shall not name because it may trigger somebody are totally okay)

- “Oh, how ya feeling, Red?” BTICH ARCHOSIE RISE I LOVE THEM UWU

- Although I don’t like how Josie told Sweet Pea that she couldn’t date during school because she wanted to focus on her career and now the writers are heavily pointing towards an Archosie romance…

- Well Hermione that’s your client’s problem. That’s why you don’t pay for things in advance.

- Watch Jughead not use that money for the Serpents.

- MORE JERONICA MOMENTS UWUUUUUU 

[bronwynn]

[alicesmiths]

#this is her world #we’re all just living in it

[socratesisabitch]

Actual representation of Penelope on 3x11

[bettyjugheadarchieveronica]

Riverdale. The town where everyone is a murderer.

[riverdaleclothing]

Riverdale Episode - S01E11

Jughead Jones wears the Levi’s leather sherpa jacket (Sold Out) in Chapter Forty-Six: The Red Dahlia.

[lovedinapastlife]

3x11 “The Red Dahlia” - Riverdale Reaction

Somebody ought to go in these handcuffs, and I happen to think it should be whoever approved this episode.

Let’s be clear...even if this episode was filmed in black and white, it probably still would have been the garbled, sleep-deprived ramblings of writing room edits as opposed to a compelling narrative about dames with dubious intentions and secrets to kill for. For me, at least.

I love how Betty still judges the hell outta Hal for his malevolent appreciation of a woman with a body count.

Archie “the Hulk” Andrews. Nobody likes him when he’s angry. This poor overseer even has to fight with people about TAKING A BREAK. Eat a sandwich, Archie! Maybe you’re hangry on top of needing therapy.

Veronica calling out the temporary fabulous gesture of flowers from Elio and demanding precious jewels. Pretty RICH, considering she got Bettykins flowers and cupcakes in s1e1. That is growth. Maybe.

“We all had problems, and a helluva good-looking one was about to walk through my door.” Anyone else expecting a Pop’s delivery?

I had to sigh. I know, I know it’s just the poor attempt at Noir language, but Jughead mocks her hat like two seconds later and I’m sure certain shippers were squeeing as I squinted at the general tolerance these two have for each other. He likes the $ and opportunity to play detective with Nancy Drew. V likes results. That’s it. Business partners. Woo.

Go, Fred! You PARENT your child! Aaaaand there he goes to take shots at a speakeasy. Well. You tried.

Is Thornhill big enough to have its own funeral parlor AND cemetery? Just makes it easier to hide the murder victims and suicides, I guess! This is at LEAST the second wake-ish thing they’ve hosted here. Weird family. Sorry you’re related, Betty.

Not sure why Cheryl is SO offended by the insinuation that her prostitute/murderer/sent-her-to-conversion-camp mom is dangerous. I thought Penelope was kicked out anyway? Nana Rose is my new favorite Blossom murderer for the weird line implying that she finds pretending to cry over her son/a man is a waste of time.

Did they seriously make cutoff vests with the Serpents insignia for the “TOO-WARM-TO-MOVE-A-BODY” weather, and yet dress Jughead in a SHERPA JACKET? I know he’s an “outsider,” but COME ON.

“MOBSPLAIN” - only on this show. Also, the line about it being “unrealistic” made me laugh. This show is such a cheeky bastard. Love watching V make grown men stand up straighter.

SMITHERS! Didn’t even recognize him at first. This kinda works? But I’m confused. Is V just...doing the shakedowns now? And she doesn’t see the issue with that? Got kinda creepy Daddy Issue vibes when she smiled at Reggie and called him Man in Black. I know WHY she did and it probably wasn’t meant to be creepy, I just FELT it, okay?

THEY’RE SO SOFT I’M GONNA DIE! The little back-rub? The cutie heart-eyes? I’m dying. But the writing was silly here, because Betty is all ABOUT investigating, and would totally help Jughead break in and have his back for sleuthing shenanigans with plenty of time for her thing. Also Betty seemed bemused/unimpressed at discovering the super over-the-top Maple Sex Club (THIS SHOW) whereas Jughead seemed totally unaffected. They have a more impressive setup at home, I presume.

Josie shoving Archie in a cold shower and telling him to sort his shenanigans was probably the most fun thing she’s ever done. And she wears cat ears and fancy outfits on the regular, so that’s saying something. Also, don’t they only serve mocktails at the speakeasy? Or am I not supposed to remember that?

Honestly? Most of this episode from about halfway on gets...expositional and boring and just a bunch of blackmail stalemates that do not further character, plot, relationships, nor aesthetic. Boo. Booooo! Unsatisfying stalemates don’t get better as a plot device because you acknowledge them at the end! Even Jughead’s narration was a hard cringe.

Like, did anyone think Kelly Ripa was gonna shoot Jughead? Or that he would be obnoxious enough to juggle the egg super awkwardly instead of getting ready to smash the thing as a threat? Just...no interesting conflict. Nor resolution. These actors could’ve used better staging and script, and honestly even the cinematography was unimpressive with a few exceptions (Archie’s shadow-pan to aiming the gun at the hooded man was one).

Jughead keeps shoving all his money into other people’s hands in bribery and I find that extremely problematic for many reasons. As was Betty’s later monologue about “black and white” morality with Hal. Sigh.

Minetta was alive? Who was dismembered then? Random goon #42? Is being a mayor in Riverdale just a cover for f***ing the Sheriff?

DOUBLE-TAP, MAN. Or headshot! FP’s been around this stuff enough where he should’ve gotten this right! After that whole “I’m not a killer” speech to Jughead back in season one, I just kind of rolled my eyes during this scene and went, “Sure.”

Aw, people keep trying to beat Archie to the punch...and the shot! (HA. The puns...I digress). The “atmosphere-building” monologue beforehand and lying to V indicates he might be on the path...to VILLAINY! (again) But maybe now he has some Black Hood closure. Some.

“Thank goodness it’s over” -- me, about this episode. Love the contrast of Hermione’s flimsy white trench coat though. Is Falice still a thing? Or was the one scene for fan service and now their duty is done?

Veronica: And Archie...if you ever need a friend...to talk to...

GET ON ANOTHER SHOW, because this episode only has time for dastardly plots and random sex scandals! (although I will accept a spinoff Bughead romantic detective show ANY TIME now) I realize everyone has their own agenda, but come on. Throw us a milkshake, here. At least Hiram will stop trying to kill the poor teenager. Archie, to be clear. Jughead is probably still on the table.

They literally had to write “In case you’d forgotten” in Jughead’s narration before returning to a scene. Wow. The narrative.

Ugh. Hermione. That cleanup is going to be a MESS. Shoulda shot him in the shower.

This is the second time Jughead’s been in the awkward position of his dad shooting a classmate’s dad. Oh well. “It’s Riverdale.”

That Bughead sex scene teased in the next episode better be good after this week’s shenanigans.

[bossbex]

I find it funny when people claim that if B/ghead broke up, everyone would stop watching and there would be no show. Lol. Ok.

[crowleyisourking]

Jughead typing “...Archie struggled...” is Archie’s character in a nutshell.

[unabashedlyswimmingtimemachine]

Investigative Bughead is the best Bughead

[hwaasbyeol]

“No rest for the wicked”

“Not in a wicked town”

[bronwynn]

[bugheadfamily]

Join us on Discord for 3.11!

Every episode, Discord has an active live chat channel! We text throughout the episode, especially during commercials, and have a fantastic time every time.

Don’t have a way to watch live? Find a link on server! We always find a reliable link for streaming, for those that need it, in chat so we can be sure to flail over the episode together.

We watch at 8PM EST, 7PM CST - but there is a channel for Brazil liveblog as well. Can’t watch ‘til the next day? No problem! We keep all channels, except the ones marked as “SPOILERS” in the title and designated SPOILER ZONE, spoiler free for the first 24 hours after the episode airs to give people time to watch!

If you are already with us on Discord, come join in with us on chat as the episode airs (and after!)! Stick around and flail about episodes too! Trust me, we will be full of hearteyes and screeching!

If you aren’t set up on the Discord, no problem - message @jughead-jones @shibbycat  @theheavycrown or @tory-b. We will get you set up in no time flat! Our requirements for joining are kindness and a love of Bughead!

WE CAN’T WAIT TO WATCH 3.11 WITH YOU, BUGGIE FAM!

[sharkbait-o-haha]

Jughead interrogating Hermoine wearing a half-unbottoned shirt with suspenders on is the kinda content I wanna see on Riverdale.

Yuummmyy.

[bettyjugheadarchieveronica]

I get the focus is not on Toni and Cheryl right now (well, it had never been), but I'm really hating the fact that any character development Cheryl had is being thrown out the window and they're turning Toni unlikeable.