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[beautifulbrunettedisaster]

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[twistedtrannies]

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[didsbumeare-blog]

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[theaveragekenyan]

Blinded by your Grace...

In terms of Europe’s best looking Women (Fittest Birds), this is how I would rate them within a top 5.

1 = Sweden (standard stereotype, but essentially any of those Nordic Scandinavian hotties)

2 = Republic of Ireland (the jet black or fiery red hair and the feckin accent)

3 = Italy (oodles of class and they can knock up an amazing salad in seconds)

4 = Great Britain (not the ones faggin it outside school waiting for their kids)

5 = Australia (Eurovision Song Contest Rules)

Of course, the above list is shamefully discriminatory and sexist, it’s not even a bit of fun anymore #metoo, I just I enjoy the stereotypical nature of it all, #bantz I believe is the excuse these days.

I just did a Google search of the above topic, except I widened it to ‘worldwide best looking women’ and the top hits include the above 5 countries within their lists, except new countries like Brazil, Philippines, Venezuela, Thailand and USA are added, well done to those countries, excellent DNA’ing.

So, something I’d like to point out, NO African countries feature in the lists.

Ok, there was one list that included Angola, but that was the only African country featured in just one list from many.

In the featured countries, NO black faces represent their beauty, Brazil is about as dark as you’re going to get, but essentially there was no recognition of diversity from their respective country. Each country’s ‘most beautiful face’ is depicted by a “typical” comfortably indigenous (whatever that represents) white looking woman from their country, sorry Archie, Naomi and Nathalie, but you’re not the considered look of Britain and that also is same for any other country with diverse genetics.

The world has proliferated so much these days, so for example, what does a British woman look like? That’s of course my liberalism shining through, but unfortunately for the majority of people in the UK, they still consider Victoria Beckham or Fiona Bruce as their default British Women, sorry no blacks, browns or yellow’s please, we’re British.

When I’m back home in the UK, I especially like to study the Black women I see, I like to see how they compose themselves, how they talk and especially how they look. I know this sounds super creepy, but this is of course as I live in Kenya, so I like to see how the women compare to what I have here.

The main reason for this is that Kenyan women are truly beautiful.

Now I come from a very small village in the UK and from the three schools I attended, they all represented very typical demographics for rural England.

Primary School = 40 children - 0 BAME.

I was the brownest in the school, although we did have three children of Indian origin move into the village, but not in my school year, they took over the village shop, obviously.

Secondary School = 500 children – 3 BAME

Upper School – 1000 Children – 10 BAME

In each case, roughly about 1% were, you know “one of them”

Now I know times have changed and that area has become more diversified, but back in the late 80’s, I grew up with pretty much no other interesting faces other than pale zitty white ones.

It wasn’t until I moved to London in 1997 that opened my eyes to such a variety of faces and furthermore when I moved to Johannesburg in 2011 when I saw the full concentration of South African Women, and it was an eye opener to say the least.

I remember walking around Sandton City Mall and thinking to myself, in such high concentration, this must be where the best looking African Women on the continent are. Then I moved to Kenya and realized there are beautiful looking women everywhere you go.

I’m think it’s fairly safe to say, without any research or any factual evidence sought that my next assumption is correct. Kenyan Women’s beauty stems from a gene pool that, on the whole, has had little genetic dilution.

For many years, most of the reproduction has remained inter-tribal and only in recent years has outer-tribal reproduction become more acceptable. So, identifying features and characteristics have remained particular.

You see a lot of defining tribal looks and characteristics, that with a keen eye, can determine where the person originates, whether it be Western, Coastal, Central, Northern or Southern. This is a game my wife loves to play. 

Yes, this happens in certain cities in England like Brighton, Liverpool, Bristol etc, but it’s largely down to make-up, clothes and style defining a look, rather than a type of nose or eye shape, I mean perhaps a “big gob” in Newcastle, but that’s about it.

It was only until I came to Africa that I noticed how many different skin shades there are. From Albino right through to dark blue-black, there’s a colour for everyone.

Sadly though, many Kenyans believe a lighter skin is more beautiful, so skin lightening creams and treatments have become a thing and have generated an overall negative effect on skin tone empowerment.

Most of the billboards here, featuring ladies, are almost white. They are presented with a polished skin, highlighted and dodged, removing just about all of their darker tones.

Therefore, darker girls grow up thinking they’re not as attractive, they’ll have less career opportunities, they won’t get the best men and so on. This then creates a troubling discriminatory outlook, which occurrs on a daily basis, not just in Kenya, but throughout Africa.

However, when it comes to Kenyan Women being attracted to men, there’s one particular skin tone many find appealing, the white one.

There are plenty of white men in Kenya, myself included who’ve seen the Kenyan beauty and thought, Well Jambo!

I’m not being modest when I say that my partner and I have an equal amount of attractiveness, (she’s way hotter than me) we’re of a similar age and have all the classic similarities to have fallen in love, but when looking around in Kenya you start to see many other couples where their...well...their similarities must be very unique to them.

I’m talking about “Sugar Daddies”, of course I am. 

I love to see these couples as they are clearly so happy together.

He has a smoking hot-assed chick pushing his shopping trolley, whilst she can add into that trolley whatever the freak she wants, because she ain’t paying, PARTY!!!

It's so blatant and obvious what the arrangement is, yet many people find it embarrassing or jocular. People definitely like to judge and be jealous, I prefer to just give a little condescending nod and wink showing nothing but pure respect.

We’re talking 70-80 year old men with 25-30 year old women. The men are wearing their cardigans and orthopedic sunglasses, whilst the women are dressed like an extra from a Jay-Z promo, when in fact, of course, she should be wearing a nurse’s uniform. You’ll see them in restaurants staring into space as he sips on his Tusker, whilst she’s avoiding eye contact from all the younger playboys drooling over her.

Of course, it’s not just the white blokes that get to play Sugar Daddy. Many young Kenyan women find attraction in older men with a closer skin tone to theirs.

Again, for the women, this is purely down to the money and for men the sex, the perfect arrangement, everybody wins.

The older men are called “Sponsors” and they provide anything from Cars and Houses to Ugali and Cheap Booze and there exists a variety of financial classes within. It’s the polygamous society of Kenya that flexes its muscle, and I find it fascinating how it completely goes against everything the average Kenyan preaches in church, but then again the average Kenyan is just as big as the biggest hypocrite in the world.

Kenyan’s love stereotypes, that’s because for the majority of the time the stereotypes are completely correct.

The stereotypically looking Kenyan woman for a white guy is slim, petite, peachy butt-ocks, anti-gravity boobs, not too short and bearing mildly western facial features.

This type of woman is known as “Muzungu Bait”.

It’s not clear how the Kenyan women discover they are “Muzungu Bait”, perhaps there’s a “Finishing School” for this type of lady, but make no mistake there is a look and any lady possessing such features knows they have a permit to flirt with white men.

In the opposite stereotype, It can be said that, Kenyan men generally prefer a heavier lady. 

I feel sorry for the chubbier, larger girls, I can only assume they have no right to flirt with white guys and they are the ones who can only be taken by the Kenyan men.

One comment I regularly hear, is that white men come to Kenya and steal the best looking women.

Steal, STEAL???, like the women have been kidnapped and are being held hostage. It’s such a ridiculous and humungous insult to women, it’s shocking.

I mean the fact we can cook, clean, and tell stories about mid-nineties heavy metal should never be overlooked.

I think what is it though, to the average Kenyan, Women are considered property, something that’s purchased. I know this has a lot to the doury marital system of buying women with animal livestock, but mostly women are treated as property, or 6 cows and 4 goats in most instances. So perhaps when a white man talks to a lady on her own level and doesn’t feel the urge to treat her in such a proprietary way, then I’m sure it has to have an appeal.

There is a downside though and a fascinating murder case is currently in the news and it’s not the first time such a murder has taken place. Now though, Kenyan media outlets can see views, likes and share values in real time therefore they can quantify a news story and suck it until it’s dry, so that explains why the current ‘Praying Mantis’ story is so accessible, because everybody wants a piece of it.

Unlike the Kenyan News agencies, I won’t go down the illegal route of naming and shaming and spilling out every detail rendering any Jury Court irrelevant, but this is how the story went.

Rich White Man murdered by his younger Kenyan Wife with possible involvement from her associates.

This is not the first time this has happened and not the last time.

It happens enough for it to be almost like another air strike in the middle east, erm yes, how many properties? which tribe was the woman? how much money is involved? where do they live? Sadly, the taken life of the man is overlooked and the story just fades away until the next replica story comes along. It’s not just Rich White Men though, Rich Black Men disappear as well, you see the connection? Let’s just say their are many wealthy Kenyan widows getting away with murder. 

Sadly, the average Kenyan has a different outlook to women, it is changing, but still, women are viewed here as second class, need to obey, generally a subordinate creature. Yet, they are the baby makers, the food providers, the water carriers, the planners and the total backbone of Kenyan society.

I think the average Kenyan needs to be far more respectful and understand just how beautiful the women are in this country. I can 100% vouch for that, all I got to do is hope I don’t end up hidden in a septic tank one day.  

[sidelpunchna-blog]

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[hermindtotheworld-blog]

New Media And Personal Life

New media has played a big role in the way that it influences our personal lives. The way we present ourselves on social media and the uses we subscribe to the digital space have become part of our lives. The cell phone has become a powerful tool which works in structuring and restructuring societal norms. This essay looks at cell phones and the ‘blesser’ culture that has become prominent in South Africa. With regards to this; we will look at post-feminism as an ideology that is different from feminism and the way that it is a big part of the blesser culture. This blesser culture has always been present to some extent as these blessers were known as ‘sugar daddies’. This essay therefore argues that because of new media, particularly focusing on social media platforms, cell phones and blessers have caused moral panic hence affecting the personal lives of society as a whole. I also argue that because of new media, a culture that was so looked down upon and viewed as disgusting as young girls slept with older men so as to survive economically, has become flashy and admired and seen as a form of women empowerment and post-feminism. We briefly look at a case study of the ‘good time girl’ in Kenya to round up the arguments.

Cell phones have become a part of our lives, according to Swatwout & Drojak (2003); they have become just as important as putting on clothes in the morning. They are an essential and smart phones have become an even bigger priority to society as a whole. They are used as a means of communication across geographical boundaries and digital spaces have given people a platform to communicate and express themselves beyond the boundaries that have been set by society, (Benioff, 2012). Cell phones enable people to have easier access to Social media platforms such as Facebook, Instagram and Twitter and this is what gave rise to the blesser culture that came about in South Africa towards the end of 2015 (Garsd & Crossan, 2017). Women have always been marginalized as we live in a patriarchal society in South Africa (International Women’s Forum South Africa, 2011). Their personal lives have always taken a back role to male dominance, however new media has been the tool that challenges misogyny and gives women a sense of empowerment and control and this has been termed as post-feminism (Ligaga, 2014). 

According to Garsd & Crossan (2017) the term blesser first emerged on Instagram, facebook and Twitter as younger women started posting pictures of themselves overseas, or with designer clothing and expensive weaves, just generally living a lavish life they did not have before and caption these pictures #blessed. Blessers are “older men who often have multiple girlfriends that they lavish with gifts, in exchange for sex and companionship” (Garsd &Crossan: 2017). Blessees are then the younger women that are receiving these gifts. There is a general norm that these young ladies have to been appealing to the eyes in terms their looks and these blessers have to be rich. One would wonder what the difference is between blessers and Sugar daddies, because sugar daddies have always existed. This essay argues that the hype that has been made about the blesser culture is due to new media, this is social media. Sugar daddies were something that was frowned upon by society, it became normalised to some extent but people found it disgusting that young girls were being used by older men for sex, some of these cases even led to human trafficking, (Drum Digital, 2013). When looking at sugar daddies there are connotations of women being in a vulnerable position and their bodies being exploited for the pleasure of men. Although the blesser culture has received some negativity in terms of being said to increase HIV/AIDS- Verass (2016), it has also shown women empowerment in the post-feminist era.

  Post-feminism is a shift from feminism, as feminism had many contradictions. According to Gill (2007), post-feminism speaks of the transformation of feminism together with media culture. It was a sugar daddy when young girls were vulnerable, having no choice but to sleep with men for basic needs such as soap, money for electricity and for toiletries and so forth. However because of social media it is much glamorized. Critiques of feminism considered “feminism to undermine heterosexual relationships and rejected feminists as unhappy, embittered, man hating women” (Coppock et al, 2014:4). “Post-feminism is a bodily property, shift from objectification to subjectification, an emphasis upon self-surveillance, monitoring and self-discipline, a focus on individualism, choice empowerment; the dominance of a makeover paradigm, and resurgence of ideas about natural sexual differences” (Gill, 2007:149). Within the blesser culture we can see post-feminism in that these blessees do not see themselves as victims of their circumstances, most of these women are actually in the middle class and they have made the personal choice to benefit economically from their bodies because we live in a capitalist society, in a capitalist world, (Garsd & Crossan, 2017). Everything we own, we buy, people get paid to use their bodies be it doctors who use their hands to treat people, Lawyers who have to in court to defend their clients and Miners who have to go underground in the mines to get minerals.

According to McRobbie (2004) post-feminism endorses a new kind of feminism in which connotations of female sexuality are those of consent, equality, participation and pleasure. This has been made possible by the cell phone, which enables these women go on Face book pages such as BlesserFinder which is a page young girls can go on to find older men who are willing to spoil them and they in return will be trophy girlfriends or give them sex in return. The Blessees can also take pictures of themselves living the life happily on holiday in different parts of the world, or at the Diamond Walk in Sandton wearing expensive designer clothing. This shows how because of new media the script has been flipped. Instead of hiding and being ashamed of dating older men known as ‘sugar daddies’, these young girls are owning it and clearly coming out that this is the choice they have made and they are not the victim. These relationships are transactional and consensual. There is equality in that each of the parties, this is; the blesser and the blessee want something from the other hence there is no male dominance or female vulnerability. This culture has however become a source of moral panic for the community at large. Because of cell phones parents no longer have control over their young girls; they can go on social media and find a blesser without them knowing.

We will now look at the case study of ‘the good time girl’ this is a term given to wayward women in Kenya who are young, educated and beautiful and they are willing to engage in transactional relationships whereby they trade their bodies for money, (Ligaga, 2014). This study does not necessarily use the terms Blesser and Blessee but it does show a very similar situation of transactional relationships between older men and younger university girls and how they connect to post-feminism and new media. The connection between the ‘Blessee’ and the ‘good time girl’ is “the good time girl represents young women who appear to disavow domestic duties and embrace explicit eroticism” (Thomas as cited in Ligaga, 2014:253).With regards to women’s sexuality, “the space of the internet is seen as an important one for gaining access to narratives of resistance, defiance, and refusal to fit in with existing public frames” (Ligaga, 2014: 150). The main cause of the moral panic that was discussed earlier on maybe due to the fact that women have always been imprisoned by normalizing structures of family, the religion and school, however new media and university institutions have given these young women a sense of freedom, (Ligaga, 2014). Therefore the moral panic is more about how the social order has been threatened that anything else as the ‘good time girl’ challenges dominant perceptions of society, (Ligaga, 2014). According to Masvawure (2010) transactional relationships are not always because of poverty but a modern lifestyle as the upper middle class use them to maintain their privileged class position.

In conclusion through the cell phones and ‘Blesser’ culture new media has played a critical role in influencing our personal lives. These transactional relationships that became a phenomenon because of social media have challenged the societal norms of male patriarchy as women have changed the narrative of being the ‘used’ to making the choice to use their bodies as they please. As discussed this is part of post-feminism which is about the empowerment of the individual through their personal choices than being about women as a whole. The cell phone and social media has changed the lives of young women as they have glamorized the sugar daddies culture to expensive trips overseas and designer handbags-they have owned it!

References

Benioff, M. 2012. Welcome to the social media revolution. Online, retrieved 30 October 2017: http://www.bbc.com/news/business-18013662

Coppock, V., Haydon, D. and Richter, I., 2014. The illusions of post-feminism: New women, old myths. Routledge.

Garsd, J. And Crossan, A. 2017. What it means in South Africa when you are #Blessed. Online, retrieved 30 0ctober 2017: https://www.pri.org/stories/2017-08-10/what-it-means-south-africa-when-you-are-blessed

Gill, R., 2007. Postfeminist media culture: Elements of a sensibility. European journal of cultural studies, 10(2), pp.147-166.

International Women’s Forum South Africa (IWFSA), 2011. THE STATUS OF WOMEN IN SOUTH AFRICA. Online, retrieved 30 October 2017: https://www.iwfsa.co.za/index.php/.../3_d3c47dc5de9c83abeac5ad81458c59c5

Ligaga, D., 2014. Mapping emerging constructions of good time girls in Kenyan popular media. Journal of African Cultural Studies, 26(3), pp.249-261.

Masvawure, T., 2010. ‘I just need to be flashy on campus’: female students and transactional sex at a university in Zimbabwe. Culture, health & sexuality, 12(8), pp.857-870.

McRobbie, A., 2004. Post‐feminism and popular culture. Feminist media studies, 4(3), pp.255-264.

Swartwout, J. and Drojak, R., 2013. The power of cell phones!. Verbum, 10(2), pp.26-29.

Verass, S.2016. Blessers: Inside South Africa’s sugar daddy culture. Online, retrieved 30 October 2017: http://www.sbs.com.au/topics/life/culture/article/2016/05/26/blessers-inside-south-africas-sugar-daddy-culture

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