#Rex: lmao yeah Ahsoka flipped him off

[shortnstoat]

[canonskyrissian]

@idontthinkiknow it's the last installment of my role swap au series (read the first two here)

so basically luke and leia are role swapped so luke is a prince and leia is a farm girl/jedi but I also swapped han and lando's roles for skyrissian purposes lmao and also ahsoka has obi-wan's role (and that's what you missed on glee!)

now, rotj role swap. I had plans to have it written for the 40th anniversary of rotj but that's not gonna happen lol. I'm gonna start properly writing it in june

but yeah, it starts with leia, lando, ahsoka, han, and chewie getting ready to rescue luke from emperor's palace where vader took him after the events in cloud city (luke got put in carbonite rip he's a true damsel in distress)

also vader has been torturing luke for information and this is when he finds out that luke is his son and understandably is super conflicted. doesn't tell skeevy sheevy about it though

so then we get the "who are you?" "someone who loves you" with lando and luke while leia is distracting vader and skeevy sheevy (flipping them off like carrie would've wanted)

I've planned that the final battle takes place in naboo, kinda book-ending with prequels. leia and ahsoka go pick up obi-wan, cody, and rex from ahch-to to help out

they also meet padmé's handmaidens, saché and yané first but also the rest

leia is gonna be super brutal with vader and skeevy sheevy, verbally especially. she's gonna tear them both a new one. they're not gonna know what hit them

I'm gonna keep most of the ending under wraps for now but they're gonna have a party on naboo. more subdued than what it is in tpm, but still. it's gonna be so soft with our leads 💕

ask me about my wips

[agoddamn]

“Anakin tries to convince the queen that she too is a slave” oh boy, we boutta get DEEP

it is so funny that the writers just, like. Suddenly remembered that Obi-Wan is here. I don’t remember him being anything but incidental since...Mandalore? It’s like they went “oh shit we have Obi-Wan here, fuck him UP”

“the queen, the queen, the queen”...hang on, does she have a name? I can’t remember hearing one

This whole Anakin and the queen subthread is just very...Not Feeling It lmao it’s not the concept, just--the emotion. It feels beyond disingenuous to be evoking slavery, and specifically with such sexual connotations (waking up in her bed, etc) and then just having Anakin doing perky Jedi flips and rescues. It’s like the characters aren’t allowed to emotionally engage with the story they’re in barring specific scenes. And it really doesn’t feel like they’re compartmentalizing/dissociating, either--the upbeat action music, the way Anakin’s smirking to the camera. His escape doesn’t feel like Anakin is struggling with something hugely stressful. It’s like he gets two or three scenes in which to go I HATE SLAVERY and then goes back to being a bouncy hero. I know that part of this is on purpose, because Anakin himself is repressing and avoiding a lot of shit, he’s supposed to feel off, but it doesn’t feel...off. He feels a lot more like he rubberbands between being completely normal and Darth Vader. They’ve had scenes where they pulled off Ominous Anakin Foreshadowing before, but I don’t think they’re pulling it off here. I don’t have a sense of struggle.

So this is obviously running with the Vader Foreshadowing Hammer--Jedi enslavement, yadda yadda yadda. But while the tail looks like it’s in the right spot on the donkey, it’s not quite the right type. The point of foreshadowing/prefiguring is not to be literal repetition, but the queen’s ‘if you torture someone you can make them a slave!’ is clearly supposed to sound meaningful and big-brain and it’s...not. It’s another one of those Saturday Morning Cartoon moments that’s the hyper-compressed Cliff Notes of the situation for children but supposed to be emotional and it just doesn’t...land

>Ahsoka shot framed with a closeup of her bare thigh

Oh, thanks, I was worried we weren’t gonna be weird about this

>ATAI

LMAO THIS DUDE’S NAME IS ATAI???

It’s like...a really rough/blue-collar/informal way of a girl talking in Japanese

>institutionalized slavery

>this is a problem we can solve with laser swords and throwing chairs

I mean, come the fuck on, show, don’t treat me like an idiot. Funtime action OR socio-economic commentary, not both. This shit is like orange juice and toothpaste

This queen plot lmao zzzt. Just zzzzt. There’s gotta be a million essays already on the lethal whiplash of going from sex slavery imagery to “I, TOO, AM A SLAVE -bleghehk-”, right? I don’t have to do it? This is clearly intended as a ‘the villain, too, has pathos!’ scene but lmfao??? where bitch

Has Rex had like...one line inside this detention facility so far?

Oh. he says “about time” once the escape starts

Yes what a nuanced examination of Rex’s character and what must be going through his mind in such a unique, traumatic circumstance

Yeah, this “I’m no Jedi” line is excellent but it’s payoff without any fucking buildup! It’s best experienced as a gif because it’s not part of anything! It’s an orgasm with no foreplay! Jesus goddamn christ, I’m disappointed. 

I thought Rex would matter for at least like a minute but he doesn’t even speak to Obi-Wan in captivity. We get nothing from their own perspectives here. We get, of all fucking things, the queen telling us how Obi-Wan must feel. Are you for real? Are you fucking with me here?

The sharp paint apps on the Wolf Pack make me smile :3 you know, though, it’s weird that Plo and Anakin never seem to bond over their shared piloting skill

Anakin says Ahsoka did well but Plo is the one to proudly put his arm around her shoulder lmao

>literally no decompression or coping or even characters happy to see each other again

THIS SERIES IS WRITTEN WITH ALL THE SATISFACTION AND EMOTION OF A PREMATURE EJACULATION INTO A TISSUE IN AN AIRPORT BATHROOM