#Renee had a crop top at one point but it vanished

[0l-unreliable]

A card set I was planning but will sadly probably never finish. Plus there are only so many sexy cowboy outfits

[katekaned]

i want your midnights

my @lgbtincomics​ secret gift exchange gift for @kaurwreck! 

“So… I heard you have a date for tonight’s party, Hel.” Dinah’s voice thrummed with barely contained glee, even over comms, as Black Canary and Huntress sped through the streets of Gotham toward that night’s (really, early morning - it was 2 am) target. 

Helena’s reply came tersely through Dinah’s earpiece, “It’s not a date.” 

“Well, I heard from Babs who heard from Steph who heard from Tim who heard from Kon who heard from Lois who heard from Maggie who heard from Kate… that a certain ex-detective Montoya will be accompanying you to the Clocktower festivities tonight. Sure sounds like a date to me.” 

“Can we try and keep our personal lives out of the field tonight?” Barbara broke in to reprimand them. 

Dinah cheerily responded, “Well, we never have before, so I don’t really see any point in starting now, O.” 

A deeply resigned sigh came over the comms to which Dinah cackled and Helena gave a begrudging smile under her motorcycle helmet. 

Barbara’s voice crackled across the comms again. “This is a simple mission, guys. Get in, make sure Seeber gets the message, then get out. Got it?”

“We’ve got it, O. After spending the past month taking down this dick’s trafficking business, tonight will be a breeze,” Helena replied. 

“It’s just too bad Zinda’s not with us - she could really put the fear of God in this bastard,” Dinah chimed in. 

“Canary, we agreed this was a two-woman job -  and besides, Zinda’s been hard at work decorating the Clocktower since midnight.”

“Only because you wouldn’t let me start any earlier!” Zinda’s brassy voice came through their earpieces loud and clear. “This clocktower will not become party ready all by itself!”

“Ooh that reminds me,” Dinah said in a sing-song tone. “Hel - you need to look like an absolute BABE for Renee tonight. Please let me take you shopping for a date outfit this afternoon?”

“Not! A! Date!”

____________________________________________________________

Is tonight a date? 

Renee’s mind was always filled with a hundred different thoughts at any given moment - cases she was working on, what to have for dinner, various exercise regimens and dozens of other things, all competing for her full and undivided attention. Most days, she’s a consummate pro at multitasking but, this December 31, one thought returned again and again to the forefront of her mind.

She paced all around her apartment, careful to step over the piles of gear strewn haphazardly on the floor, as she pondered whether or not Helena Bertinelli, her occasional (though more and more frequent) partner in vigilantism, had invited her to a New Year’s Eve party tonight as a friend-date or … as a date-date. The party was being hosted by Helena’s crime-fighting team, the Birds of Prey, and, according to her, was going to be a relatively small affair attended by teammates and a few affiliated heroes. Which did little to assuage Renee’s anxiety. 

Renee Montoya is not typically one to worry about such silly and mundane things as whether the girl she (potentially) likes likes her back. Renee Montoya sleeps with women and breaks their hearts and she doesn’t do the whole dating thing. (Not anymore. Not after Daria. Not after Kate.) So to feel her heart jumping in her throat like she’s a damn schoolgirl again is not a familiar sensation and she doesn’t like it, not one bit. 

Outside her windows, the telltale early signs of a winter storm were taking place. The wind picked up, whistling sharply through the alley below and carrying white flurries along the way. Overhead, thick, gray storm clouds menaced the city of Gotham, giving no indication that they were going to dissipate any time before midnight. 

Just as Renee felt herself about to begin dissecting and analyzing every interaction she’d had with Helena since she asked her to attend the party with her, a sharp rap sounded from her door. Trying to ignore the sweat gathering under her armpits, she ran her hands through her hair one final time and went to open the door. 

“Hey, I know I didn’t buzz up, but your doorman recognized me, I think from when we had drinks a few nights ago, uh, and he just let me up, so, yeah…” Helena trailed off as she took in the funny expression on Renee’s face. “You feeling okay, Montoya?”  

Renee was not, in fact, doing okay. In fact, the very sight of Helena Bertinelli standing in her doorway, looking absolutely, drop-dead gorgeous had driven all the air out of her lungs and all coherent thought out of her brain. Helena’s dark curls were piled high on her head with a few stray curls framing her face and she wore a black cropped turtleneck with the tightest pair of leather pants Renee had quite possibly ever seen. Fortunately, at Helena’s confused expression, a few synapses in Renee’s brain began firing again and she managed to stop looking like she had recently been concussed. 

“Oh, um, I was just, uh, thinking … it’s kind of cold for, y’know, a turtleneck.”

Oh, God, now she knows you were looking at her abs! Say something different! Anything!

“Not that there’s, uh, anything wrong with that, you look great, I mean, you always look great. Um. D’you wanna come in and drink something?” 

Great save, Montoya. How are you the same suave lesbian who managed to bed a woman in Kahndaq of all places? 

As Renee held the door open for Helena to enter her apartment, she tried to keep her eyes from gazing too long at any ... particular part of her body and, in doing so, missed the shy smile on Helena’s lips at Renee’s flustered greeting. Helena sauntered into the kitchenette area and sat down on a barstool at the counter. 

“What do you have?” 

“I’ve got lemonade, OJ, water, of course, and some non-alcoholic eggnog that Kate and Mags brought over earlier this week!” 

Renee managed to find two clean glasses and turned to Helena, waiting for her response. She noticed an almost pensive furrow in her brow that definitely wasn’t there before. The playful light in her eyes also seemed to have vanished. 

“Just some water will be fine. I’ll need to be well-hydrated to withstand even one of Zinda’s drinks tonight.”

“Alright, then,” Renee shrugged and grabbed a pitcher from her fridge, filling the two glasses and handing one over to Helena. “Are Zinda’s drinks really that potent?”

“Oh, God,” Helena snorted in the middle of her first sip. “Just be grateful you don’t drink anymore because that shit could take down a fucking elephant.” 

Renee inhaled sharply through her nose as she drank deeply from her glass of water. 

Helena flushed deeply and shot an apologetic look across the counter. “Shit, Renee, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to make light of -”

Renee cut her off, “It’s fine, really, Helena. We should be heading out now anyway.” 

She made her way briskly over to the entrance table where she kept her wallet and keys and shoved both into her jacket pockets. As she opened the door, she turned back to look at Helena, who was still looking rather like a kicked puppy, and gave her a sharp smile. 

“Come on, princesa, you’re the one who knows where the fuck where we’re going.” 

As Helena rushed out the door and started toward the stairs, Renee turned to lock the closed door behind her and took a slow, deep breath.

So not a date.

______________________________________________________________

As soon as the elevator doors slid open, Renee and Helena were hit by a barrage of sound and lights from the loft space at the top of the Gotham Clocktower. Stepping out into the brightly lit, colorfully decorated and rambunctious party from the cold, damp and dark streets of Gotham was a jarring experience. Seeing the party already at full tilt, sent a fresh prickle of nerves through Renee, when she felt a cold hand slip into hers and squeeze it tight. 

She glanced up at Helena’s face. Much of the tension from the motorcycle ride over and the brief yet eternal ride up the elevator seemed to have disappeared upon their entrance into Helena’s second home. Helena smiled softly at Renee. 

“Don’t worry. I’ll show you around.” 

As Helena tugged her further into the celebration, Renee felt her heart give an involuntary skip. 

Stop it, she admonished internally. She’s just being friendly.

“This is the kiddie table!” Helena’s face looked almost completely different with the giant, shit-eating grin she sported as she gestured to six young girls grouped around a flat-screen television, all with video game controllers in their hands and surrounded by bowls of various snacks and bottles of soda.

“Just because you guys are ancient doesn’t make us kids,” fired back a tall, blonde girl in a purple sweater without even looking up from the TV screen. “Anyways, Cass and I are only here because Zinda promised to slip us one of her special cocktails at midnight.” 

Helena narrowed her eyes at the shorter, dark-haired girl sprawled out next to the blonde, who just smiled and gave a what-can-you-do shrug. 

“Not under my watch, she’s not. Unless we’re suddenly a year in the future and you both are 21, there will be no underage drinking tonight.”

“Can’t be watching us… when you’re busy watching her,” the dark-haired girl replied smugly. 

Helena sputtered violently at that and the entire group dissolved into giggles. Renee noted that all of them were teenagers with the somewhat incongruous exception of a nine-year old who was busy shoving handfuls of M&M’s into her mouth. Two of the girls were blonde, three, including the nine-year old, had black hair and one of them had bright red hair. 

Blushing furiously, Helena spoke loudly over their snickers, “ANYWAYS. These gremlins are Stephanie, Cass, Mia, Lori, Charlie and Sin and they are all little shits. Enjoy your video game, girls, Renee and I are going to go talk with the adults now.” She said the last part pointedly, giving a killer stink eye to the rambunctious group. Tilting her head, she signaled to Renee that it was time to move along. 

“If you don’t mind me asking, Helena…” Renee began talking as they weaved their way past countless obnoxious New Year’s themed decorations.

“What the hell are the Birds of Prey doing partying with a bunch of kids?” Helena flashed her signature sharp smile at Renee who felt her treacherous heart thump a little harder.

“Yeah, pretty much,” she’d only worked with the Birds a few times but she’d never seen any of those girls with them before. Although, a few of them did look awfully familiar.

“They’re family,” Helena replied. When Renee only looked more confused at her response, she explained further, “Steph and Cass are Spoiler and Batgirl. Cass is basically Babs’ daughter and where Cass goes, Steph goes. Mia is Speedy and like a surrogate daughter to Dinah and Sin is Dinah’s actual, adopted daughter. Lori and Charlie tried to get into the superhero business a while back and Babs basically took them in. She keeps them housed and fed and going to school and loves them like daughters, too. So, yeah, they’re family.” 

Renee and Helena had stopped walking at some point in their conversation and were now standing between a set of giant, glittery numbers spelling out the upcoming year and the largest, most elaborate display of cupcakes Renee had ever seen. While Helena talked, Renee tried her hardest not to stare at her exposed abdomen or her leather-clad legs and, in doing so, found herself watching her full, dark purple-painted lips move as they formed words that Renee was definitely supposed to be listening to. After they’d stopped moving for a few seconds, Renee’s gaze snapped up to Helena’s sparkling brown eyes and blushed at her knowing look.

“That’s … pretty awesome that you guys have, like, a superhero family,” Renee ended up saying.

“Yeah, it kind of is.” Helena’s hand brushed against Renee’s.

Renee stopped breathing for a second.

“HEY YOU LOVE BIRDS! Stop hiding over here and come join the par-tay!” 

Popping out from behind the giant, glittery 2 came Zinda Blake in all her obnoxiously loud and exuberantly happy glory. She was wearing the classic bartender outfit of slim, dark pants and black vest over a white shirt and her blonde hair was pulled back into a ponytail. She had a devilish smirk on her face as she wiggled her eyebrows at Renee and Helena. 

“Zinda! We weren’t even-” Helena started to snap at her but Zinda just laughed and turned back the direction she came from. 

“I’m just bustin’ your chops, Hel. But you really should come say hi to some more people or they’ll start wondering what you two are up to.”

Zinda winked at the two of them then began walking toward another group of women, clearly expecting Helena and Renee to follow, which the two women did after only a brief glance at each other’s embarrassed face. 

In quick succession, Helena greeted and Renee was introduced to a Cindy, Kendra (who she was pretty sure was freaking Hawkgirl), Sonia, Kate (Spencer, not Kane) and Dawn. They were all friendly and welcoming (and evidently more than a little drunk) but Renee could have sworn as soon as Zinda led them away, they all started whispering and … did money exchange hands? 

Renee still wasn’t sure whether she’d made the right decision, deciding to come to this party with Helena. She obviously enjoyed spending time with her and the party wasn’t awful or anything, but she just felt … out of place among all these team members, who knew each other so well. She had turned down a quiet night at Kate and Maggie’s for this! And why? Because she thought, just maybe, Helena had invited her because she was interested in her as more than a friend? Renee felt stupid for even thinking that could be the case. Even if Helena did think she was attractive, she’d never once done anything to truly indicate that she felt something romantic for Renee. And after her comment back at Renee’s apartment … well, they didn’t talk much about Renee’s past struggles with addiction but Renee felt surer than ever that anyone who knew that about her would never be able to feel anything more than pity for her. 

Lost deeply in thought, Renee hadn’t even realized that they had reached the elaborate bar at the other end of the loft. Zinda slid behind the counter and started mixing, in Renee’s opinion, far too many liquids from different bottles together in an enormous mixer. Seated right by the bar was Barbara Gordon, Oracle herself, and Renee’s old boss’s daughter. She still couldn’t quite wrap her head around Jim Gordon’s little girl being the mysterious and all-knowing Oracle that every superhero and vigilante had asked for help from at least once. And sprawled across Barbara’s lap, her fish-net clad legs dangling over the arm of her wheelchair was Dinah Lance, the Black Canary. Even though Renee had met Dinah and even worked briefly with her before, she still felt a bit awe-struck in the presence of the stunning blonde. Her reverie was quickly ended, though, as Black Canary was, well, pretty damn plastered, if the empty glass in her hand and the glazed look in her eyes was any indication.

“Whatever was in this drink, Zind, is fucking magical,” she slurred in Zinda’s general direction while Barbara ran her hands through her sweaty, messy hair. “I feel unshtoppa- umshoppab-” 

Dinah frowned as she struggled to articulate the word, then shrugged, “I feel like dancing! Take me back to the dance floor, Babs!” She ordered imperiously while stumbling off of her lap and beginning to stagger back to where some of the others were dancing to some music that was undoubtedly selected by one of the teenagers. Now that Dinah was out of Barbara’s lap, Renee could see that the mighty Oracle was also wasted, though not nearly as much, and she watched as she wheeled off after Dinah. 

Helena had a funny look on her face as she also followed her two best friends progress across the room. After a minute, she realized she was staring and turned back to Renee, who was feeling and looking quite lost again.

She started to apologize, “I’m so sorry, Renee, I really didn’t think they’d be this drunk already. I know they’re the only other ones you really know here and I thought -” 

Renee cut her off. “It’s New Year’s Eve, people get drunk, it’s fine, Helena. It really doesn’t bother me.” 

Helena continued to look upset, though, so Renee turned to Zinda and asked, “Any chance you’ve got something non-alcoholic back there that’s not soda?” 

Zinda paused mid-shake. 

“On New Year’s Eve, lady? You’ve gotta be kiddin’ me! I’ll mix you up something so divine, you won’t even taste the alcohol-”

As Zinda spoke, three things occurred in quick succession. Helena attempted to leap over the bar, whether to slap a hand over Zinda’s unthinking mouth or strangle her, it’s impossible to know, because even Helena Bertinelli can only do so much while wearing the world’s tightest leather pants. Instead of cleanly soaring over the bar, she crashed into it, knocking bottles and glasses every which way. As everyone in the tower started to look toward the commotion, Renee Montoya took off toward the closest set of doors, which turned out to lead to a small balcony on the south-facing side of the tower. And, lastly, Zinda Blake’s brain caught up with that fast-shooting mouth of hers and she remembered that Helena had already told them that Renee abstained from drinking, and while she could be around alcohol, maybe don’t offer her any? 

“Hel, sweetie, I’m so sorry. I wasn’t even thinkin’,” Zinda said, as Helena peeled herself off of the bartop and ignoring Zinda’s apologies and the mess of glass and liquor, rushed to the very doors Renee had just gone through. 

Helena burst through the double doors out into the freezing, wintry air. She wasn’t sure what she expected to see out there but it almost certainly wasn’t Renee laughing her ass off, already covered in melting snowflakes and surrounded by an assortment of incongruously green plants. 

Pausing in confusion, Helena managed one word, “What-”

Renee caught sight of her disheveled and distraught appearance and just started laughing harder. 

“How are there … fucking tropical plants growing out here?” She wheezed. “It’s below fucking freezing.” 

Still baffled, Helena responded, “Um… during a mission, we, er, liberated some of Poison Ivy’s experiments and after Babs determined they weren’t dangerous or anything, she put them out here. Turns out they’re, like, immune to the weather or some shit.”

“That actually makes a lot of sense.” 

As Helena was talking, Renee slowly pulled herself together and grew more somber. Helena started to move toward her.

“I should’ve known this was a bad idea.”

“...what?” Helena stopped in her tracks at Renee’s words.

“Coming here. To a Birds of Prey New Year’s Eve party. I don’t belong here… I’m the Question not fucking Hawkgirl or Black Canary or whatever.” 

“I don’t have any special powers, either.” Helena frowned. “And you do belong here. Because I invited you.”

Renee shook her head and turned to look at the view from the balcony. “Kate said this was a bad idea. I should’ve just listened to her.” 

Helena’s frown grew bigger. “Of course, this is really about Kate Kane,” she muttered.

Renee whipped around. “What the fuck do you mean ‘of course it’s really about Kate Kane?” 

“I mean that you’re still in love with her! And you can’t let yourself be happy with anything or anyone that’s not her!” Helena’s eyes widened as the words left her lips and she slapped her hand over mouth, but it was too late.

Renee’s eyes narrowed. “You think I’m still in love with Kate? And so, what, you invited me to this party to try and protect me from her? Just like you’re trying to protect me from alcohol? I don’t need your fucking protection, Helena!” 

Helena reeled backwards at that. “No! I-I didn’t- I never-” She slowed. “You think I’m trying to protect you, Renee?”

“Well, yeah,” Renee answered. “That’s why you can’t act normal around me and alcohol and you freak out whenever I talk about Kate…” She trailed off at the look on Helena’s face.

“Renee… I don’t think I need to protect you. You’re just about the biggest badass in Gotham City, if not the entire planet!” Helena exclaimed.

“Bigger than Batman?”

“Easily bigger than Batman.” Helena started to move toward Renee again. “I - I was acting so weird tonight because I’m really fucking nervous, okay? And, I know I can be an inconsiderate bitch sometimes, and there’s so much alcohol on New Year’s Eve and I just didn’t want to act or say anything bitchy. And so I acted like a fucking idiot instead who thinks you can’t handle being around alcohol. I’m so stupid,” Helena spun and slammed her fist against the wall of the tower. 

In the span of just five minutes, Renee had gone from feeling completely and utterly foolish and desperate to this wild, electric buzzing under her skin as Helena explained her actions. She licked her dry lips. 

“And… the stuff with Kate…” 

Helena didn’t face her. Staring at the wall, she said quietly, “I act weird when you talk about Kate because I know you’re still in love with her and … I’m so in love with you it physically hurts me to hear you be in love with someone who doesn’t love you back.”

Renee tapped on Helena’s shoulder. As Helena turned around, slowly, to face her, Renee slid both her hands up Helena’s muscular arms and grabbed her face gently. 

“You idiot,” but she said it like she didn’t really think Helena was an idiot. At all. And she stretched up on her tiptoes and placed the lightest kiss on those stupid purple lips of hers.

Helena’s eyes fluttered shut and Renee couldn’t help admiring the way her long, dark lashes brushed against her cheekbones. 

“You’re … not in love with Kate?” Helena whispered, too scared to open her eyes or move a muscle, lest Renee vanish into the dark night.

“Kate… is my best friend. My first love. But she has Maggie, now, and I … I … have you. If you’ll have me?”

Helena smiled tearily and pressed her lips against Renee’s again. This time it was not light and it was not gentle.

And they stood like that, wrapped in each others arms, kissing in the snowy night air, until Zinda opened the doors, Dinah and Babs (both far more sober then they’d been earlier in the night) behind her. 

Simultaneously, the trio’s faces moved through showing concern, shock and, finally, happiness, entirely unnoticed by Renee and Helena. 

Dinah finally cleared her throat and spoke, “You guys okay out here? Well, midnight’s in ten minutes. if you were curious, but it, uh, seems like you’ve got this handled.” 

They so had it handled.