#Reading stuff I wrote is pure cringe

[centrally-unplanned]

I really enjoyed this video by Angela Collier as someone who is of the "Feynman Bros" generation without being a member of the thing itself. I was of course part of the "XKCD science nerd culture" of the 2000's where he was a valorized figure, but never read any of his books, and generally just wasn't a science person in general so the whole vibe didn't appeal. I certainly noticed the 2010's culture shift where people - rightly so in my opinion - noticed that many of his "anecdotes" were casually misogynistic or harassing. I know both sides of the track here decently well without having any stake in it.

So it was quite shocking to me to learn - spoilers - that Feynman never wrote a single book. Every one of those texts with his name splashed on it is by someone else, and sometimes with quite minimal involvement by him! He had this weird coterie of fans who just loved his stuff so much they collected his anecdotes, recorded lectures, and so on, and made books out of them, often well after the fact. And of course at certain point "cashing in" on the brand took over.

Which leads, inexorably, to the fact that it is a little difficult to glimpse the "real" Feynman, because half of the published stuff is just made up. Surely You're Joking is the exaggerated stories of a 50 year old man trying to impress a 20-something dude with how cool he is, telling tales decades after they happened. I had never read the book, so hearing direct quotes from it of Feynman "pretending to speak a language he didn't and being So Clever he tricked his audience" are just...obviously not true? What the fuck are you talking about??? The best part for me is that the book, of stories from the life of a physicist, never involves...other physicists. It is always random people at a bar or hotel. Because, you know, they can't contradict them? The one time he did name someone, Murray Gell-Mann, in a story, Murray objected on the grounds that it was false and they were forced to change it! You had one job and you fucked it up, person-who-isn't -Feynman-pretending-to-be-Feynman-while-writing-the-book.

This is very much a video in my wheelhouse of cultural history - Feynman is just a guy. His brand, like all brands, is manufactured, and so there is a story behind how it was manufactured & why. I think I can see Feynman's rise as part of the general rise of "nerd culture" that accelerated in the 1980's, and the very deep need to both be "pure" nerdy (something finally dropped in the late 2000's) but also cool, to fight back on the rep. A womanizing scientist deeply appealed at that time, one who can Have It All. The idea of being the Smartest Guy In The Room was admirable, not insufferable. Then times changed, and the whole edifice can be a bit cringe. With, of course, a real person behind it all that one has to sift through to see.

Also, you do sometimes look at the past and go "man, people really did act differently back then". And that is true! But part of that story is that people just felt way more comfortable bullshitting you about it. Makes it a bit hard to say how things really were.

[leeknowsnot]

kinktober — the god of love (minho)

genre: smut (minors dni), fluff

content: minho x reader, god of love minho au, reader is a hopeless romantic because i am too, greek god themes, he is eros the god of love, modernized greek gods, body worship, vanilla, just pure love, mature themes, mention of p-rn

oh my god, this is my first smut on this page. i hope i did okay though, it's been a long while since i wrote smut. anyway, i'll try starting on the others soon! read at your own risk

kinktober masterlist

Piles of paperwork laid before him. His eyes scrutinized every paper, dreading the sight of the amount of work he'd have to do. What was he doing here anyway? Right. He was called in for some extra work because the amount of stuff that the employees under him had to do was overwhelming.

Piles and piles of paperwork. "Over what?" his colleague would ask him and he would roll his eyes.

"Some dumbass woman who can't stop falling in love and getting heartbroken over every goddamn man," he would complain.

For Minho, being the God of Love wasn't all arrows and rainbows. Oh look, a girl crushing on a guy. Let's shoot an arrow to his chest so he could fall in love with her too! No. He wasn't highschool cupid. It wasn't as easy as that, unlike what most people would actually think. If he was going to be honest, there wasn't much field work to begin with. The only field work he'd do is to sit on his chair, observing people as they fall in love with each other, only to deal with multiple paperwork as soon as couples start falling out and breaking up with each other. He hated how people treated love as if it was something so dispensable. Like a one-time thing. Well, mostly because it gave him so much work to deal with.

And you, on the other hand, was one of those types that he hated the most: a hopeless romantic. He never really believed in hoping for love despite being the God of Love himself. Stop falling in love multiple times in a year. He always wanted to drill that into your brain each time he'd come down from HQ to observe you and your stupid attempts at pursuing whoever you were onto at the moment. He would lie if he said he never cringed everytime you'd blush at the smallest things. He was annoyed at how you always fell so hard over the bare minimum.

He types away angrily at his keyboard, cursing under his breath. "12th time this fucking year. I swear, if that shithead falls in love with the wrong guy again, I'm gonna shoot myself."

His fingers stop typing, eyes staring into the screen as his eyebrows rest on a permanent scowl on his face. He stared at your image through the documents, analyzing every feature on your face. He wouldn't deny the fact that you were attractive in a way, which made him wonder for a moment why you'd always fail at your attempts on finding love.

Minho sighs, his fingers pinching the bridge of his nose before he stands up from his seat. "Better pay her a short visit. I need some amusement after all that headache she's been giving me," he mutters to himself.

...

Minho sat there, eyebrows raised. You weren't the type to wear revealing dresses and yet here you were, a scissor away from being practically naked. Okay, maybe he was exaggerating since you only opted to expose your shoulders but you never really showed much skin before. Each time Minho would drop by secretly to observe you during your dates to see if they'd finally succeed, you were either wearing cute floral dresses, or anything that was wholesome. But then again, he had to remind himself where he had to go just to check on you.

A nightclub.

In all honesty, some shoulderless blouse was just the tip of the iceberg compared to how the others dressed. Some were practically naked but Minho didn't pay much attention to them. His eyes were focused on eyeing you at the other side of the room, through grinding bodies.

Though, his gaze on your faltered as soon as a woman sat beside him, brushing her arm on his that was rested on top of the counter. "Hey there, pretty boy," the woman winked at him.

Minho wanted to puke then and there and his expression said it all. He eyed the woman from head to toe, immediately disgusted at her mere presence. He brought his eyes back to you but as soon as he did so, he saw you swaying by the dancefloor with some guy.

Now, Minho wasn't the type to be fazed by such a sight, but the way the man roamed his hands around your torso and attempted to grind his hips towards yours slightly annoyed Minho. Especially with how your face would contort and twitch in discomfort. You were trying your best to hide it and make light of the situation but Minho knew better than to not notice.

He stood up from his seat, tossing all reasoning aside and decided to pull you out of whatever shit you had gotten yourself into just so you could get yourself a lover. "To hell with that," he thought. You were looking for love at the wrong place. The worst place, in fact.

As soon as he arrived at your spot, he grabbed your wrist, earning a surprised yelp from you. He didn't look at you but at the man who was already 5 seconds away from zipping off his pants. Minho was glaring. "Keep your hands and your dick to yourself, yeah?" he tells off the man, earning himself a drunk response but all noise had been shut out and the fucks he could give was thrown out the window the moment he turned to you. "What were you trying to get yourself into, you idiot?"

Minho forgot that he was the only one who knew you like the back of his hand at this point. He was basically a stranger to you. But as he looked into your eyes, you lost yourself in them. His voice came out as muffled due to the trance you were in from the alcohol you just had earlier. And Minho noticed this so he snapped into your face but to no avail.

He dragged you out of the club and you could swear the door that was supposed to lead outside the streets led to somewhere else when Minho opened it but you decided that it was your mind and the alcohol playing its tricks on you. Minho brought you to his office through the club's door—an ability that always proved to be handy. He made you sit on his couch, giving you a glass of water.

"Drink that. It'll help with the hangover," he says. He never had hangover before since human liquor never really had much of an effect for him and the other Gods but he saw how bad humans had it each time they'd have hangovers. "How many glasses did you have anyway," he mumbles under his breath, not particularly expecting you to hear or respond.

His hand bring itself up to your face as he holds a towel, wiping off your sweat. "You suck at taking care of yourself. You always put those idiots first before yourself, that's why you're always getting rejected," he mumbles again, an annoyed expression now on his face. However, his expression turns into confusion as soon as he sees you squint your eyes at him.

"You... look familiar," you say, a hiccup following your sentence as you try your best to dig your memories through your drunken stupor.

Minho shakes his head. "Don't be ridiculous. No one looks like me," he says but you suck air between your teeth.

"No, I swear I've seen you somewhere," you dazingly tapped on your temple before your eyes widen in realization and you point at him. "Oh, I remember now! I see you a lot of times whenever I..." you trail off your sentence. You gasp. "You're always around whenever I meet guys for dates! Are you perhaps, my stalker?"

This earned you a light slap on the forehead from Minho.

"You didn't have to hit my head!" you pouted at him.

"Stop pouting, you look ugly," he says as he removes your shoes. "I wasn't stalking you."

You squint your eyes again at him. Both at his answer and as to why he was removing your shoes. "Then what were you doing? And what are you doing?"

Minho glances up at you with a look of disbelief. "Removing your shoes, if that's not obvious enough," he turns back to removing your other shoe. "I thought you were dumb only with love. You're dumb with telling actions too."

You frown, "Why are you even removing my shoes?! Put them back on??"

"For the record, you are not Cinderella. And you'd rather I let you get blisters? Why did you even wear heels? You never wore heels," he whispers the last part. You blink.

"You are my stalker," you gasp, earning another glare from Minho.

As he finished removing your shoes, he plops himself back down beside you. "I was observing you," he says, answering your question.

"Yeah, you were stalking me," you butt in.

"Stalking is different from observing. Get your facts right," he argues back.

'This man,' you thought to yourself as you look at him in disbelief. Though despite his sarcastic remarks, you could feel as if you knew him for a long time already. Or maybe because you'd see him a lot everywhere. You always thought it was coincidence.

"Why were you observing me?" you ask him.

Minho sighs, rubbing his face with a hand as he looks at you, probably being annoyed at how much you were asking him. "Entertainment. Your idiocy amuses me," he sarcastically replies.

You were speechless.

First, this man ruins your date. Your chances of getting laid tonight. You didn't mind if it was drunk sex, as long as it was sex, that was how hopeless you were. Second, he denies being your stalker. Third, he was mocking your poor taste in men and bad luck in love. And lastly, he was telling you that you were basically a no go because you were an idiot.

"I can't believe this," you scoff under your breath. "You ruined my chances for... this."

Minho raises an eyebrow at you. "Chances at what."

You roll your eyes at him. "Getting laid."

Minho stares at you for a while before sighing. You were such a piece of work. On second thought, he'd rather deal with paperwork than your attitude. He shakes his head in hopelessness, eyes still at you.

"You were going to settle with drunk sex?" he asked with a tone of as-a-matter-of-fact. When you nodded, he chuckled in disbelief.

"Well, what do you want me to do then?" you snapped your head at him. "I always fail at romance. I try to establish wholesome relationships but they... They just fail. And this..." you pause. "It may not be the best option, but it's my only chance of actually getting a guy."

Minho was amused at how emotional you were getting. He could see the tears forming in your eyes as you explain. Sure, Minho was getting frustrated over this ordeal, but you were too and he just realized that. If he was getting annoyed over paperwork, then it meant people were hurting too. You were hurting too.

For some reason, Minho disliked that idea. For the longest time, he'd see the brightest smiles on your face each time you fell in love or experienced something akin to love. He thought it was only for work that he'd come down to observe you each time you go on dates. But in truth, he liked seeing you smile. He didn't know how or when it started. He just... liked to see your face brighten up.

Maybe he wasn't annoyed at you because you always fell in love and get broken and give him more paperwork. Maybe he was annoyed at the fact that people kept on hurting you. He was annoyed at the fact that guys always took advantage of your love. He was annoyed at the fact that you always gave it your all to guys who didn't deserve any of your love. He was annoyed at himself for seeing it otherwise.

Minho chuckles, more at himself than at you. "That's such a sad excuse to find love, it's pathetic."

You turned your head towards him, about to retort but you shut yourself up as soon as he brought his face close to yours. Your eyes widened. "What—"

"You're pathetic," he mumbles. "I can't believe you're going to settle with just that." Then, he closes the gap between you two. His lips touched yours momentarily, brushing like a feather before diving deep. For a second, it was as if your world stopped. You may have had failed attempts at love but that doesn't mean you never had kisses. Though, most of them were empty. In fact, you've had too many kisses to the point that you had to think to yourself if you'll only get kisses for the rest of your life.

But this. This was... You couldn't put the right words. No, that was the perfect word for it. Right. It felt so... right.

The kiss felt too short as soon as he pulled away, eyes staring into yours. You could swear you could see the whole universe in them. You barely talked to this man for more than an hour and yet you feel like you've known him forever.

Minho's eyes trail from your eyes to your lips. He has always seen you. How you look. How you dressed. How you spoke. But he has never seen you this close. And now that he has, it was as if he was looking at Zeus' finest piece of art. Your beauty held more charm than Aphrodite herself. Hell, you'd start more wars than Helen of Troy ever did with that pretty little face of yours.

He parts his lips, his warm breath adding fuel to the warmth that had now spread on your blushing face. "In all of my decades, observing your kind and mine," he pauses. "I have never met anyone as beautiful as you."

"I wonder which God sculpted you," he mutters under his breath, eyes bearing themselves into yours. "Those eyes. They're like Narcissus. I could get lost just by staring at them."

He placed another kiss on your lips, this time much softer than the last.

"Those men are fools," he says. "They could never see true beauty. Beauty that has so willingly presented itself before them."

It was as if he had fallen right then and there. The irony of being the God of Love was that he barely fell in love himself. But when he does, he falls deep. Turns into such poet. Just as how he was letting himself become vulnerable before you.

He takes your hand in his, lacing your fingers together, intertwining them like perfect pieces of a puzzle. You were entranced. You didn't know how or why. But the way his hand would graze on your skin felt like electricity. The good kind where the hair on your back would stand each time you'd feel warm air breeze through while you are cold. Like goosebumps.

You wondered if there was something in that water that he had given you earlier. Aphrodisiac? No. There was nothing in there. And yet you felt so entranced. So pulled in. So dazed. You had never felt this feeling before from your past lovers. Then again, were those even love? Or just infatuation? Was it the true definition of love, or was this the true definition of love? Maybe it was just the effect of having the God of Love himself being so close to you. But you were none the wiser of his identity as a God. And yet he pulled you in like gravity.

His lips placed a chaste kiss on your lips once more, gradually travelling towards your cheek, your jawline, and your neck. They were slow yet passionate. His hands ran up your arms, holding your shoulder as he carefully lays you on the couch so you'd feel comfortable.

Minho looks at you once more. "Will you let me show you what love is?" he asks with a quiet tone. You stare at him for a short while, with him still placing soft kisses on your neck as he waits for your response. Eventually, you nod.

He hums quietly in satisfaction. "Just follow my lead," he says.

You don't know what happened after that. You only remember his occasional glances. His chaste kisses on your skin. His hands caressing everywhere they could land on, memorizing your every curve. You only remember laying there, naked.

His gaze on you never faltered. His eyes memorized every feature, taking in every imperfection that you had. As a God, he was but used to seeing only the perfect complexions. But with your body, the imperfections were what made you more beautiful in his eyes.

Minho leans down towards you, brushing the back of his fingers on your cheek softly. He held you as if you were porcelain. No rough movements. No raspy caresses. "Stop looking for love," he muses. "Because love himself is presenting itself to you." He takes your hand, placing a kiss on your knuckles. "Love itself is yours to take."

You part your lips with a soft gasp. No one, not even one man has ever told you such words. No one, not even one man has ever seen you this naked. No one, not even one man has ever held you as much as this man did. And he was worshipping you with both his words, his kisses, and his touches.

His hand pulled you closer for another kiss before caressing down your body, eventually resting itself on your thigh. His thumb brushes on your skin before travelling towards your inner thigh. His finger lingers too close to your core. Not touching, but you could feel it. Minho smiles at your reaction, chuckling as he finally runs a digit through your folds.

You lightly gasp, biting your lower lip to immediately stop yourself from letting out a sound. He looks up at you, amused by your sensitivity. You couldn't blame him. After all, you were a virgin. Both by touch and by intercourse. He could immediately tell as he continued running his finger through your heat, dragging through every slick as a string of your love juice connects your nub and the tip of his finger with every slow stroke. He traces small circles around your clit, earning a shivery hum from you as you cover your mouth with the back of your hand.

You hated how slow he was teasing you. Minho, however, was loving every second of it. How red your cheeks were right now. How half-lidded your eyes were. How wet you already were with just a few kisses and a few strokes.

He leans towards your chest, taking out his tongue to gently brush on one of your nipples, making you twitch. "You're quite easy to please," he mutters as he flicks his tongue and sucks lightly on your nipple. "But then again... You are a virgin."

This made your eyes widen. You tilted your head to the side, covering your face with embarrassment. You hear Minho chuckle before he takes your wrists, removing your hands from your face. "Shhh, it's okay." he whispers in your ear. He places a quiet kiss on your ear lobe. He faces you again. "At least you didn't get to experience how horrible and selfish those men are when it comes to making love."

His smile falters. "No. They don't call it making love, do they?" his eyes trail down to your stomach, bringing himself down so he could place kisses and kitten licks on your skin. "I believe most of them like calling it casual sex."

"Bastards," he curses under his breath before lowering himself again, this time being face-to-face with your heat. You embarrassingly closed your legs, momentarily making him react as your thighs envelope his head. He looks up at you with an amused smirk. "Guess you're into that, huh?" he mumbles with a husky tone before finally leaning in.

You could swear you momentarily saw stars as soon as his warm, wet tongue ran through your folds. His breath would always exhale each time he would swirl his tongue around your clit, slurping occasionally from his makeshift chalice.

You were sweeter than ambrosia and nectar, and he couldn't have enough. You were a walking cardinal sin, ready to prey on a God, to tempt him to indulge in such temptation. And that God was him. Except that you weren't tempting him, but it was him who willingly walked into your trap without any provocation.

The God of Love, enchanted by a human being. By you.

As his sucks and licks increased their pace, so did your stiffled moans. "Don't keep your moans to yourself," he says. "I'd love some good music." He stuck his tongue inside of you, exploring every crevice of your walls as much as he could while his teeth would occasionally scrape lightly through your clit. When you finally moan out loud unintentionally, he smiles. "That's it. Let me hear your pretty voice."

Every second that he spent worshipping you with his tongue brought you closer to something. You were already way past from what you used to consider as climax from your self-ministrations but this was something else. Something higher. Something more pleasurable.

You subconsciously grabbed his head, pulling his head closer. Minho's eyes widen a bit, surprised at your action but complies anyway. He smirks, tongue lapping you up faster as his mouth starts making the most sinful sounds as he sucks you in his mouth. He holds both your legs, determined to make you see a taste of heaven just as much as how he was tasting his own version of heaven through you.

As he gives you a long, dragging suck with the swirling of his tongue on your clit, it finally brings you to the edge. Your eyes shut tight, mouth hung open, and back arched as you cry out in pleasure. Your legs shake as they attempt to wiggle out from his grasps but his hold was strong, keeping you in place as he continues to suck on you, giving you overstimulation as you ride your first high.

He eventually lets you recover as you pant, now hovering above you as he licks away the remaining juices off his lips as if it was syrup. His eyes observe you, loving how helpless you looked as you tried to catch your breath from just a single climax, and just with a simple oral too. Minho brushes off a stray hair off your face, tucking it behind your ear as he places a kiss on your forehead.

"Well?" he asks. "It's good, isn't it?" You were too out of it to even answer. No one could blame you, the first orgasm—whether it was oral or not—was always the most mind-blowing. Too mind-blowing it turned you speechless in a matter of minutes. "That guy you were dancing with wouldn't even give a single fuck whether you'd cum or not," he says. "He'd only want to put his sad excuse of a dick inside that pretty little mouth and call it a day."

Minho places a soft kiss on your lips. "Human men won't care for you as much as Love himself would," he pauses. "Because they do not know love. They only know Lust."

He gently opens your legs, zipping down his own pants in the process. "Let me make love to you," Minho says, caressing your thighs as he raises them. He places kisses on your legs. When you finally recover from your trance, you glance at him. He was now as naked as you were but you could swear you were laying your eyes upon a God. And you really were.

He was perfect regardless wherever you would lay your eyes upon. Especially his arms. God, his arms were like nothing you have ever seen and yet they held you with such care. He could flail you around like a ragdoll, just like what most men would do in those porn videos you'd watch each time you felt a little lonely. But no, he held you as if you were a priceless vase. He'd trace your body as if it was some rare artwork to revel on at a museum. He'd draw you in his head like you were one of his French girls. Except that he didn't have any of those. You were the only girl that made a significance within his eyes.

You finally gave in, tossing all reason aside. If this was going to be your final chance at love, you prayed. Then you might as well let it happen.

Your tongues danced within a kiss, intertwining with each other both emotionally and physically. He clung unto you and you clung unto him, bodies pressing into each other as your sweat would momentarily stick each time Minho would close the proximity between you two. His thrusts started as slow yet passionate strokes, your velvety walls hugging around him as you moan in between gaps of your sloppy kisses. His hand caresses your waist, resting by your hips as he grips them only to pull you back towards him so you'd meet his thrusts.

He wasn't ruthless. He wasn't in a rush. He wasn't destroying you. And just like he said, he wasn't just giving you sex. He was making love with you. His slow thrust eventually increase its pace, the tip of his cock now kissing your cervix at each thrust. The sinful sound of skins slapping fill the walls of his office, mixed in by both your moans. He would always place wet, open-mouthed kisses on your neck and latch his lips on your nipple, never having enough of you as he drives deeper and deeper into you.

If he could, he would bury himself into you. Get lost in pleasure with you. Stay inside you. If it meant showing you what love really was, he would do it. Every stroke sent waves of pleasure through your body and his as your moans encouraged him to go even deeper. He couldn't get enough of the way you looked at him. How your lips would mouth incoherent words as he continues to savor the feeling of being inside you.

Soon enough, the room was filled with nothing but heavy breathing and ragged gasps. You wrap your arms around Minho's neck, pulling him closer as you yourself get closer to your own climax once more. He could feel you slowly tightening around him, a smirk finding its way on his lips.

"Cumming again?" he whispers, quiet groans lacing his question in between as he starts to thrust into you at a faster pace. You nod absentmindedly, eyes shut tight as you arch your back once more. He raises your legs, gaining more access to thrust deeper. "Deeper," he mumbles. "A little more."

With each thrust, his cock reached deeper depths that you didn't know were reachable. It sent you on edge. With his one final thrust, he finally hits that button needed for you to snap, making you moan out loud. The way you suddenly clenched around him as he was buried deep inside you made him reach his own climax as well, painting your walls with his own release. "Cumming cumming cumming!" you mutter, hands gripping on his arms as his groans muffle themselves in your neck.

You both laid there, gasping for air in each other's arms, savoring each other's warmth before Minho finally raises his head from your neck and looks at you. His face held the most loving and softest expression. He was smiling at your dazed state.

He places a kiss on your forehead. On your nose. And on your lips before looking into your half-lidded eyes. "I'll be back soon," he says. He said something else after that but you were too exhausted to even remember as your eyes finally closed, sending you into a state of rest.

...

You awoke with a jolt as you shot up from your bed, eyes open wide as you pant. You glanced around, immediately recognizing your surroundings as your bedroom. You frown to yourself, glancing down beneath the blanket.

What the hell happened? you asked yourself. You weren't exactly sure. You remembered being in a bar to meet up with that tinder date you have been crushing on since last week but after that, you passed out—probably from alcohol and now here you were, confused.

You wondered how you got home in the first place.

And that dream, you sighed to yourself, feeling your core wet from whatever dream you had. You shook your head, a palm running through your face as you groan in frustration.

"I can't believe I was so desperate to the point I'd dream of making love with someone," you roll your eyes at yourself as you throw yourself back on the bed again. This time, hugging your pillow and your curiosity piqued at your dream. "Whoever that guy was in my dream was really attractive though," you mutter to yourself.

Unbeknownst to you, Minho observed you through the window of your room from far a way, chuckling. He observes your pretty features first before finally turning around.

He'll remain in your dreams for now. After all, that was how Greek Gods would visit their human love affairs—through dreams. Though this time, he'd visit your dreams frequently.

Maybe because he wants less paperwork from you. Maybe because he wants you to pine for him more than the men you'd meet.

Eitherway, he can't wait until he visits you the next time you close your eyes again.

likes and reblogs are very much appreciated!!

[eri-pl]

Silm reread 23: the War of Wrath

Scheduling this reread post for the @morgoth-into-the-void-week. :)

So first, we are informed that our narative frame's source is the exiled Noldor (and Sindar, if I understand correctly), and they did not join the army marching North. They only learned the events later, in Aman.

So the host of the Valar was separate, the Noldor and the rest did not fight in the War of Wrath? At all? Why?

Also, I feel like this invalidates some fics, but I may be wrong. Anyway this feels strange.

The warriors "took shapes", so there were many Maiar in the army, I consider this confirmed, because I don't see how it can be read otherwise. [Unless translation messed it up]

They fight in Anfauglith, according to other sourced it lasts 50 years or so. wow. Also, the two armies are huge.

A few Balrogs escaped.

The Edain (the few that remained), in contrast to the local Elves, did join the war. Huh again. why the Elves did not?

Also, most Men were at the wrong side and the Elves hold a grudge about it. Even though, if I understand the text correctly, they themselves did not fight.

Morgoth is scared. How surprising. Winged dragons make a debut, but it soesn't help much. Earendil + all kinds of birds kil Ancalagon.

Oh, and speaking of birds: Elwing is on the ships, I would assume, with the Teleri. I would be very not surprised if Elrond and Elros meet her and they all have a long talk, and this is how the kidnap fam is dismantled (not leaving them with Gil-Galad, but letting them go to their actual mother. Who later sails back and then Elrond joins Gil-Galad. But this is purely a HC based on who was where.)

Only a few Balrogs and dragons escape (so that we can have some monsters in SA, or even, as we know, TA). The power of the Valar reaches deep into earth and cleanses it, I guess. Still, I am pretty certain that the Valar weren't there personally, just their Maiar.

Morgoth runs away, does all kinds of cringe cowardly stuff, nobody listenes to him, I have some second-hand embarassment reading this. The translation says his feet were cut off, which iirc I heard is kind of "Balrog's wings" thing, also for sake of Eonwe not looking bad I prefer to imagine just a regular "throwing him to the ground". ("but his feet were hewn from under him, and he was hurled upon his face" — English-savvy people, what do you think?]

Anyway I feel sorry for him, yes my brain is like that.

He is chained and his crown is replaced by a copy and stolen by Sauron for sake of appearing in Amazon's series reforged into a collar. I want to know by whom it was reforged, but the book does not tell me. Either some Valar were there (they can effectively teleport, from what is said in other places), or the reforging happenned in Valinor after Morgoth was taken there (the text doesn't sound like it), or some Maia of Aule did the reforging. It would be interesting if it was Curumo. Surely touching the thing won't influence him in a way that will bear its ugly fruit much later…

Also the Silarils are freed and glow under the sky. Hmm. They were not taken to Valinor, so the reforging clearly seems to take place in ME. So, was Aule there or did some Maiar do it?

"the two Silmarils […] shone unsullied beneath the sky; and Eönwë took them, and guarded them." Argh, because the Polish translation has it sounding like "were given to Eonwe to guard" I wrote a whole paragraph that now makes no sense. :/

Also, yes, clearly no Valar are there, it's the only logical reading.

All the Elves are summoned to Aman, as we know not all are enthusiastic, and we get to our guys Maedhros and Maglor (apparently without the twins now).

They don't go to talk to Eonwë, they send a messanger. Which sadly makes that one fic non-canon.

I wrote a long, convoluted "yelling on Maglor and hyping about things I should be writing inseat of just hyping" tangent, so I'll indent it, so you can skip it more easily. [Instead of deleting it. :) ]

My. guys. OK, I can get Mae who is crealy overriden by trauma here. But Maglor. My guy. Makalaure Canafinwe Feanarion. My. Guy. I get that you feel guilty towards your brother and all that, and he is triggered and "who knows what terrible things the Valar would do to us if we go against them. They would hang us from the mountain and nobody will come to save us and—" but my guy. You really would help him more by leaving him and just surendering to Eonwe. Also, my guys, this was already said, but you both get the -1th prize in category of "logic and basic inductive reasoning (if He hears us once, He will hear us again, and if not, the problem is not a problem)". But I get it, trauma turns the thinking brain off. Anwyay, Maglor, my guy. you are the worst at "being right". Becasue you are right but you do the wrong thing anyway,. MY GUY. I want to kick you. I am serisouly worried. I know the fandom wishes you all the best and ten times more, and so do I, but. My guy. You do need to put in some work. Because "having others solve your problems" never worked for you. So, I'm sorry but you will be put in Awkward Situations until you finally go against your family. Yes, this is harder when said family is dead, but we'll find a way. I know some people need help first, but ok you will have [or whatever tense] spend quite a lot of time in Rivendell first with your lovely kidnap-son but then you have to start behaving like an adult who makes his own decisions. And stop being codependent. And yes, in order to do that I am going to put you in the weirdest, awkwardest situations and also kinda scary situations ald many kinds of situations. And no, you are not going to have a glorious beautiful moment of redemption, because you're too much of a poet, you would focus on "how to describe it in a song" too much and miss the point. Also, I like giving my guys awkward situations, because, honestly, we deserve them quite well. So. you will feel like an idiot and do something so awkward that you will blush while explaining it to your dead brother and you won't be able to look him in the eye. Because. My guy. Don't worry though, you aren't even having the worst of my creative side. But. My guy. Seriously. You are a complete idiot (affectionate) and I want to kick you (affectionate).

Back to the reread proper.

So, those two. They sneak into the camp, in disguise. The camp awakens…. how did all the camp suddenly awake? Also, they are ready to die, the book says it, so @dfwbwfbbwfbwf it is canon and not only for Maedhros.

Eonwe lets them go freely, because… he is that kind, I guess? And/or knows that it will work out.

Maedhros (says the book) realized that Eonwe was right ant soF lost the right to the Silmarils. Also he is pretty clearly not in control of his actions (but he did maneuver himself there tbh)

Maglor is also burned and can't stand it, and we get the fan-loved Silm change-from-other-versions of "he wanders the shores so that we can write fanfiction of him". I want to hug him. But, also: Maglor you [beloved] fool.

Lot of Elves sail West, the Silamrils are gone and will not be joined until the world breaks (poor babies). The Elves from Belerians (the Exiles? the sindar? Both) live on Tol Eressea, and the Valar forgive them and Manwe loves them. the Teleri forgive them and the Doom is lifted.

OK, but then why do they live on Tol Eressea only???

By choice (more home-like)? To not pollute Valinor proper with their marring-influenced presence? Because the Vanyar threw a collective tantrum (yes, I hc the Vanyar to have some faults)? Just temporarily?

All of those make sense to me.

A list of Elves and again we are reminded that Elrond and Elros are very cool and special. (They are.)

Morgoth is thrown out the Door of Night into the timeless void (so probably not just outer space). Oh, the Valar did it.

So he was taken to Valinor.

I wish there was a fic on how scary-awkward-weird it was for the sailors of the ship that took him. OK, tbh there was probably more Maiar than Teleri, if any Teleri. But. It would be interesting. Especially with the Teleri having almost no experience with Morgoth. He is more like a legend to them, I think. So, scary-weird but also "hey, we are important and we'll be famous" maybe. Or maybe Ulmo just dragged him there.

There are guards on the walls o the world (huh?) and Earendil is keeping watch, which is strange considering that we are also told (in a place I can't find now) that Morgoth will not physically return (with a strange caveat). So, anyway: Morgoth gone but his lies are here still.

Quenta Silmarillion ends, we get a small … not even teaser, but after-the-credits paragraph about "hey maybe something will get Seriously Better but we don't know, Manwë and Varda probably know and Mandos did not tell anyone".

[dirty-bosmer]

In the process of editing old chapters of my fic, and I find myself fighting the urge to snap and snarl and hiss at my old self for some of the choices I made. It's a lot of, "this is so clunky. This is overwritten. This is cringe! How could you ever have thought this sentence worked? Oh my god, other people have read this. Oh my god, I am so embarrassed."

But all that does is make me not want to revisit my old stuff, try to learn from it, and improve. And I feel so bad for younger me, like why am I being so mean to them?? This was literally the best they could do at the time, and here I am berating myself because I didn't write then like I do now after several years of more experience and practice and conscious thought.

So idk. If this resonates with anyone, here's my reminder to try being kinder to your old self lol. Anytime you re-read your writing and find yourself dissatisfied, try to remember how excited you were when you wrote it. Remember how much fun you were having and how pure that joy was. Remember how happy and hopeful you were to have a creative endeavor to pursue and give yourself some grace, because you were doing your best back then just as I imagine you are doing now.

[barbieb0y]

where blue skies await us.

hellooooooooo im. kinda late to day 1 bc i was kinda busy but i dont wanna miss the first prompt(s) so. here it is. im just gonna be frank with you guys im probably gonna use this week to write selfship stuff. sorry.

for day 1 of scrunkly week, the theme is clear skies and i went with the spare time and hobbies prompt!

sooooo this does include my self-insert oc paper cut... you obviously dont have to read the doc but it would definitely provide more context for his character and his dynamic with joe. yes ofc it's joe reverse 1999 who else would it be. ANYWAYS DONT TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY IM JUST BEING CRINGE ON MAIN FOR ONCE

“Cut, there is a reason why I say you’re amazing to be doing this as a hobby because I have no idea what I’m doing.”

J sighs, cursing his lack of skill and creativity. He thought it’d be fun to try and indulge in his best friend’s favorite pastime - and though “fun” is not an inaccurate word to describe what he’s having at the moment, he finds himself relating to more defeating adjectives.

“C’mon, it can’t be that bad. Gimme that.”

Hesitantly, J outstretches his hand that held an unassuming piece of paper. Paper Cut needs not skim through it… because there’s only one word written on it.

“The.”

“The.”

Okay, maybe it is that bad.

Even then, Paper Cut can’t help but giggle. He can see that J is trying very hard to match his beat and is miserably failing. But it’s the thought that counts, right? J smiles bashfully at the other’s reaction. Then, in a fit of pure genius, he decides he should imitate the master.

“Lemme see what you wrote.”

Paper Cut shrugs and hands over his prose to the apprentice.

“‘They say love is blind but, oh, who so cruelly poked the eyes of love? They say love hurts but, oh, isn���t love hurting more than it hurts? They-’ dude, Shakespeare is rolling in his grave right now.”

Paper Cut looks away, scratching the back of his neck shyly. He’s not unaccustomed to J’s compliments but the familiarity doesn’t breed immunity in this case.

“Flattery will get you nowhere.”

J guffaws freely at the sarcastic tone of Paper Cut’s voice that doesn’t match the embarrassed expression he wears. It is one of the many cute details about Cut that J adores - a stubbornness that rivals his own at times. In his peripheral vision, a very light red brushes across Paper Cut’s chubby cheeks.

“Maybe not, but that’s what my bike is for.”

J exclaims as he leans back, shifting his weight to his forearms, fortresses on the carpet beneath them. Paper Cut moves as well, from lying down on his back to leaning on the whole right side of his body, his arm propping up his head by the chin. Their respective masterpieces lay in the fluff of the carpet.

“Hah, sure.”

A lazy smile creeps onto Paper Cut’s face as he gazes lovingly at the other. J reciprocates and lets his eyes wander around the establishment. Paper and stationery strew about, the owner’s passion for artistry reflected crystal clear. It’s Paper Cut’s messy little residence - it’s not proper enough to be called a house.

Paper Cut interrupts J’s (though short) train of thought. It is then that the latter’s clear blue eyes turn to his companion. His small smile says it all.

But it’s definitely a home.

“Y’know, if this isn’t for you, we can just go on a ride. The two of us, as usual.”

Well, if he’s willing to indulge in his hobby.

“As usual.”

[charliemwrites]

Every time I read any of your works I am so astounded. How you manage to blend pure poetry into each piece is amazing. It sounds silly but do you have any tips? You motivate me to write and write better.

Hi!! Thank you so much that’s so sweet. It doesn’t sound silly at all, hopefully my advice is helpful and not just generic 😅

- write what you want. Like seriously. No shame, no cringe. You don’t even have to publish it, just write whatever your brain is feeling and don’t fall into the trap of “should”

- on the note of bot publishing; I don’t post everything I write. A lot of stuff stays in my personal files. Any writing is good. It’s practice. Don’t feel compelled to share it

- don’t get hung up on finding the right word/phrase/fact. Make a note for yourself somehow and keep going. I tend to use brackets when I’ve dropped in a place holder. I do it with whole paragraphs sometimes

- if you have an idea you really want to write, but don’t know where to go with it, do a headcanon list. This is also a good way to outline a larger story without getting tangled in fine details or specific scenes. Word vomit in a notes app or talk to a friend about it until you run out of ideas. Then go back, pick and choose, and flesh it out

- if you get stuck, I have a couple tips for that but everyone has their own strategies. You can cut the scene and put it in a separate doc. Maybe you wrote some lines you really like, you don’t have to delete them! Just move them somewhere else for now until you can rehome them. Write from a different POV. Even if doesn’t “make sense” with the rest of the story, there’s no writing police out to get you. Time skip. Maybe you’re anxious about writing the big confrontation. Write the fallout, then go back and fill in the blanks as a “how did we get here”

I hope these help! And if you have any specific questions or anything, let me know. Developing a writing style takes practice and emulation. Find styles you like, borrow their terms and phrases. Again, you don’t have to post it, you just need to work with it until it feels comfortable in your voice!

[totallybakedcake]

And back to JJK. Demon slayer? Unfinished anime and how I got into anime..

This is just pure dumb stuff, randomness, and even cringe stuff thrown here, so feel free to skip!

For starters, JJK was one of my first animes. I had been dying to watch it, but I could not watch it because my brother was against it. But eventually, I did watch every episode until the Shibuya arc, and after that, I stopped because there would be too much violence and all that.

This led to my biggest mistake: starting anime and watching spoilers

Spoilers

Naruto was actually my first anime, and I binge-watched so many episodes at once and cried so much. It was super fun, and I even watched so many fillers, but my brother eventually said that season 2 of the series has too much of a serious tone and did not let me. So, what did I do?

Spoil the whole damn anime for me

And then finally, I was going to watch. I watched about another 200 episodes, and then that was the end of my Naruto saga. I know what happens in the war: Boruto, Naruto marrying Hinata, and all the Akatsuki backstory, so I just gave up.

And the same happened with JJK. I saw way too many spoilers, and I still watch the later chapter spoilers too; even JJK ended with me.

I was just going to start the manga from the Shibuya arc yesterday, but then I started Demon Slayer, which I also know the ending of.

The reason I am so into Windbreaker, Kaiju No. 8, Sakamoto Days, Spyx Family, the Millionaire Detective, Buddy Daddies, and even Gakuen Babysitters is because I did watch any spoilers for them.

-----------------------

The reason I even got into Quotev, or my first app where I read fanfiction,.

I had an obsession with Yuta from JJK, now that I think about it. I cannot help it; he is just too good, but writing fics about him is kind of awkward to me because of Rika.

It was from my grandmother's phone that I read my first anime fanfiction, It's Pure Love by Whale Crumpet. If you want a good Yuta fic, I would totally say to try this one out, but the author hasn't updated it since 2022, and I feel my heart breaking. Even though they said they would return to quotev, they never did.

The Yuta fic I loved the most was Cupid's Cursed Arrow by Strawberry Belle. Damn,  did I fall hard for this fic. I would tell everyone in my house that Cupid's arrow was updated as I read it; it would give me giggles each time. That fic also hasn't been updated for 5 months.

Honestly I am not a sucker for crossover manga. It has to be super specific to my liking but Euphoria by Sceretstarlight was just too cute. Made me fall harder. Even the author of that fic on quotev is like the real life version of Mitsuri. I love her a lot♥️♥️

It was then a random day where I suddenly got an idea to write a Yuta fic, and I wrote it, rewrote it again, and the rewritten one has ten chapters in my notebooks, which I still have for the memories. I did read it a while ago, and it was terrible, but I had no freaking experience, so what can I do for that?

If anyone does want to read and give me some opinions on that chapter 1, I did upload it in my random ideas thrown here as a quote. You can read that here.

The only original story I have made is Lost in Dreams, which is again on quotev.

----------------------

And for Tumblr, I clicked on the website once and was reading what I thought was a Yuta period cramp comfort, but it required me to sign up and all, so after a while, I did do that, but that fic was a Yuta vampire smut fic, and I ended up not liking it.

I just read fics, I have no idea how to make my own blog, about tags, dashboard, you could follow people and even like there works.

One thing I do know is I had a Sung jinwoo fic reading obsession like I loved reading about him okay. The first Jinwoo fic that stole my heart was by @catboyfics. Hunter is a series and it was the first Jinwoo fic I read and was so so in love with. It was my first non JJK fic I read and it felt different than the others if you know what I mean. I didn't understand how to save or like a fic on tumblr so I lost it and I was super devastated truly I was super duper upset and sad that I spent what 2 hours searching the Jinwoo tag on tumblr and when I did not find it I could have even started crying BUT I found it again and I saved the upload in my folder where I can easily read it and also followed catboyfics. I hope they are alright because they haven't been/ updated their blog in 2 months.. I also have no memory on how I got to know about tumblr but now it is my most used website..

------------------------

That is the current problem with JJK fics, imo; the tags and stories are just almost pure shit. I am not saying bad to the writers; they have fun and they do what they want to do, but seriously, we need more JJK fluff, comfort, taking care of female readers, and overprotective fics. I just stated what I like, but whatever.

I have so much to write, but will I write that? No

Will I write dumb, stupid, and nonsenseful things? YEAH

I feel so stupid writing this but whatever let me rant/write random things for compensation for this horrible day

[thelovelyghostwriter]

Answers are below:

AO3 Handle

This is easy. Numbkid.

It has been a pen-name since I was a kid. I was an emo kid who liked Linkin Park's Numb.

2. Ships I write

Currently, mostly Kuraneon. Occassionally there are other HxH pairings like Hisomachi, Tserriednich/Theta, Chrollo/Neon and Ponzu/Pokkle.

3. Ships I read

Pretty much anything I get curious about.

4. When i started writing

11 years old. That was more than a decade ago, even before AO3 was founded.

5. First fic I wrote

I did write something when I was 11 on FF.net. I did delete it because of the poor language use and the fact that it was cringe.

I did remember the title, it was "Can I heal your broken heart" which was a CoAi fanfic.

6. Favourite fic I wrote

There are a lot that I have written over the years. Just to name a few:

I like writing angst, so this is probably the most painful one. Also the longest one-chapter fic I have ever written (13K words).

I think this is my favourite Hisomachi fic. I really enjoyed writing them in a whimsical fantasy setting. It was also pure comedy and fluff.

My very first Tserriednich/Theta central fic, with Hisomachi and Kuraneon pairings as well. I had fun writing Tserriednich in a very psychological thriller type of way.

I loved writing Kuraneon hate-sex. There was something raw and hot about this.

7. Hardest fic I wrote

There were a few fics that were written with much difficulty, for various reasons.

The longest, completed fic I have ever written. It was difficult because half-way because I lost interest in Detective Conan as a series. I have always liked the CoAi pairing, but grew frustrated with how the series was going. Add on to my depression in the 2014-2016 era (this was written from 2015-2018) + adolescent teen angst + readers pressuring me to continue, and you get a recipe for disaster. Incredibly difficult for me to write given the circumstances. I also didn't think it was good and there were people complaining on Wattpad so I thought the efforts were in vain. I was so frustrated that I vowed never to write for this series ever again. Don't know if I'm gonna hold up to that promise but it has been 6 years, so I'm not sure if I'll love this series enough to write for it again. Maybe a one-shot, who knows.

8. Most research-intensive fic I wrote

This one is very obvious. The amount of stuff I had to learn to write how the mafia works in HxH and also how Nen works. Also the HxH world building. Whew. Very heavy stuff. It is paying off though.

9. Fic that is most dear to me

I am going with the first fanfic I have ever discovered.

This fic was first written in 2005, I discovered it just a tad a few years later. I was mindblown by the fact that people could just write about established characters and make up scenarios, lmao. It fulfilled my shipper desires that Conan and Ai would get together! Somehow after like a while, it inspired me to write my own fics. So this was the start of everything.

10. Favourite trope to write

I don't know, I don't really have a trope. There are common things I liked exploring:

Mafia theme

Greed and money

Desires and Death

Sexual temptation

Psychological thriller

Occassionally I do write the happier fics and I think I can pull it off, but that's not where my interests lie.

11. Something I wouldn't write

Hmm... I don't have boundaries, I think? I love exploring different genres, themes and even the most messed up situations. I like dark fics, I do want to write thrillers.

Probably just fics about real people. Like those celebrity fics, like those "my mom sold me to One Direction" or something. It's just weird writing about real people for me.

I also don't really do requests anymore. I would hate to write a ship that I wasn't 100% on board with.

12. Favourite scene I ever wrote

Hmm, this is quite tough. Probably the part where Theta reads a letter from Tserriednich in "Like Turkeys Voting for Christmas".

Dear Theta,  The newspapers told me about your tremendous error that led to the chaos during Sara’s winter concert - how an exhilarating event had burst into madness. Pity poor Sara though. Once was a bright star among the upper echelons, had fallen so gracefully in a blink of an eye. I fantasise that you wonder before going to bed if that error was an unfortunate anomaly, or had been stuck to you like an inherent gene. Like Sara, millions of individuals undergo their life like an inverted curve - the struggle to go up and then come rolling down the hills. Do you find it humiliating that you, once a trustworthy royal head bodyguard, had been demoted to a security for a talentless celebrity rumoured to had fucked her way up to the top in Hollywood? And more so that even in this meagre position, you had failed? Do you believe that failing your career in protecting your client, would be equivalent to having failed to save the inner child wailing deep within yourself?   I would reassure you, my dear Theta, that you are competent. A fine specimen of the female human species. Which is why I had no doubt of choosing you to watch my back. It is unfortunate however, that you chose to stab it. Why would you do that, my dear Theta? We were having so much fun - our intimate bantering had been forever etched to my memories.  I had often backtracked at which pinnacle moment my behaviour became intolerant for you: you had always turned the other cheek whenever a new collection of mine was delivered; and the personal matters of my fucked up royal family had been more or less familiar with you. The screams of women getting out of their shells never fazed you either. Somehow, you believe that me unlocking the powers of Nen would be a Pandora’s box; and that was where you drew the line. But really, who are you to deny me my potential? That is the riddle that has perplexed me. The temptation to open your mind and pick on the neurons for an answer is too high, but I digress.  Needless to say, an utter disappointment when you decided to take the role of Delilah, attempting to defeat the lion that she feared would devour the world.  Has it ever occurred to you that your role in the narrative would not be against me, but besides me? Did you fear that I would have disposed of you after learning Nen from you, dispose of you like the poor trash that you think you are? If that is so, you have greatly underestimated my generosity.  With my sibling, the self-proclaimed winner, had met the untimely death, the Kakin throne had been left vacant. I think it's time for me not only to rule, but my bloodline for eternity. Join me, Theta, this is my offer to you.  Since this time of the year is to celebrate generosity, companionship and forgiveness, I propose both of us do the same. Allow me to show my generosity by giving you something that few had done: justice. The King might be the most important piece, but the Queen is his most prized protector. Once somebody has offended you, they have done the same to me.  You spent Christmas by yourself last year. I will be sure that this year will be different. Until then, please enjoy the gift I have sent you. Some animals really need to keep their hands to themselves.   - Prince Tserriednich Hui Guo Rou 

Then she finds a severed hand inside the gift box sent to her. The hand belonged to a man that tried to molest her earlier in the fic.

13. Where I get inspiration from

Pretty much anything, depending on the topic. Sometimes I just go like "hey I got an idea!"

14. Hardest scene I ever wrote

So far the argument between Kurapika and Neon in the latest chapter Glam Gas Land in Strange Bedfellows. I wanted to write an argument where both of them had a valid point.

15. Favourite characterisation I wrote

Always Kurapika. He is SO fun to explore. I love writing him a good ol' angst scene. I think the angstiest I have him in is "The Rabbit Died".

16. Sequel I would write, if I had the time

There are two.

One was the "Neon Nostrade is a Pop Star/Idol AU". I wrote "In Star-struck Awe". The sequel was supposed to be this:

I only wrote the first chapter. But this sequel was supposed to be the story where the media finds out that Kurapika and Neon are dating. I plan to make changes to both fics and set it to the 2000s. I want to make references to the 2000s music industry scene, mixing up Neon's Pop Idol character with Britney Spears, Paris Hilton etc. The 2000s were also very brutal to famous female celebrities, so it will be a fun fic project.

Another sequel I planned to write was from "Black Veil". I have not posted the fic sequel yet, but I plan to expand from this. Since in Black Veil, Kurapika finds an alternate universe where he got married to Neon and had kids, with the Kurta clan still alive. Since he got back to his own world, he explains that Neon is actually in the ICU where nothing can wake her up. There is a plant in the Dark Continent to cure all diseases. So I want to write a sequel on that.

17. Story I wanna write, but don't think people will enjoy reading

I think just really dark fics. For Kuraneon, I kind of wanna write another dark fic with the tag "infanticide". Go figure.

I also am tempted to write a Gin/Sherry fic. I don't know, I think this ship is dark and interesting.

18. A line from a WIP

"Kurapika had enquired to one of the townsfolk for The Owl's location"

19. A recent comment that made you smile

Pretty much any comments from @anotherworldash ! She has very long comments that made me smile so much!

20. A discontinued work that I would have loved to finish

There are two.

Of Marigolds and Dragonflies.

This fic was a Hiei/Botan fic that I have abandoned. I made the mistake of having to post more chapters, when it could be a standalone one-shot fic. It begins after 1 year of death anniversary of Hiei and Botan's unborn child, and they have broken up over it.

I actually had a good vision for this fic, but I kinda moved onto another fandom. Perhaps I can just post the first chapter of the fic, I think this is a good standalone.

The Outsiders.

The other fic is this one. It's a crossover fic between Detective Conan and Tokyo Ghoul.

I had this idea of Conan being a detective and going around to solve ghoul-related cases. But alas, I kind of got tired of Detective Conan; so I dropped it. Once in a while I see CoAi content for my own amusement, but I'm sort of done writing for it. Don't know if I'll pick up this idea again.

21. Fic writers I admire

I think I admired a few of them back when FFnet was still the norm, but they stopped working on fanfics.

22. A story I recommend

After Hours by Cb_w.

A story by @anotherworldash

A Vampire AU where Neon is a vampire and Kurapika is a vampire hunter.

The Sleeping Beauty in the Bathtub by Cb_w.

Definitely one of my fave darker Kuraneon stories.

[blitheringmcgonagall]

Oh my GOOOOOD, your additions to the Peter Pettigrew meta were so well-written, it was almost like reading a fic in and of itself. I was a bit terrified and definitely disturbed by the time you got to the end of the timeline. Really brought into full view for me exactly how fascinating and truly...evil? his whole arc is.

And I deeply appreciate your position on him truly being one of the Marauders, not this cast off that none of them really liked. I know I've been so guilty in the past of having him sort of be the throw-away Marauder, even in my Hogwarts-era fics, but I really want to write and read more fics where he's as much a member of the group as the others are...

Oh! And you brought up so many facts that spoke to how calculated his decisions were, both in the Marauder's Era and Trio Era, which directly oppose his own claim that he did it all because Voldemort would have killed him... Do you think he used people's view of him as a coward to his benefit, and actually was much more of a manipulator than he ever appeared in the books? It seems clear now that there were a lot of other factors for him beyond fear, so he was probably just using the excuse that he thought would work best for him in the moment (speaking specifically about the scene in the Shack in PoA) - and this excuse wasn't really the truth, or at least, not the whole truth... Just, wow, yeah, I don't know how I'd never seen before that he's obviously so much more than a coward, if he's even really a coward at all.

Ah, so sorry for rambling at you about this 😅 I'm just so intrigued by this whole discussion and can tell you've thought about it a lot! 💚

Thank you so much!!! This is the post you are referring to and I’m so happy you liked it! I honestly have thought about this a lot because I was forced to when I was writing my canon marauders fic we can be heroes?

The fact he was spying for Voldemort for a full year before Lily and James were murdered is incredible… as he was watching baby Harry growing older, meeting his fellow Order members, going to their funerals, simultaneously passing on details and getting them killed, one by one… chilling stuff!

The reasons are fascinating and possibilities endless. I picked fear as one reason but actually jealousy and self-preservation more importantly for him?

And even that isn’t enough of an explanation? Yes fear was a definite big motivator but out of all of Voldy’s pure blood fanatic bigoted Death Eaters, why did HE willingly (under no duress) travel to the forests of Albania on his own to find Voldemort? He could have just disappeared and lived as a rat anywhere in the UK. Or as a pretend-muggle anywhere in Europe, or even escaped to the US or Canada?

I think we all casually accepted how many people Pettigrew directly and indirectly killed? The Order members he betrayed, James and Lily, the twelve Muggles he killed by blowing up the street with an extremely powerful curse (“which created a crater large enough that the sewer pipes were showing”), he caused Bertha Jorkins to get permanent brain damage (and then Voldemort killed her), he killed Cedric…

I’m not sure how she-who-must-not-be-named wrote him. She describes him constantly as weak and fawning, “hero worshipping” James and Sirius according to Prof McGonagall who thought he was stupid (he clearly wasn’t). JK writes him as terrified of Voldy and cringing practically every time we see him after Voldy returns. She implies it’s all due to fear but that doesn’t add up imo.

Peter had a miserable life after Halloween 1981, living as a rat for 12 years, then being treated like shit by Voldy and co who all clearly despised him. Maybe he found some solace hanging out with the Golden Trio in Hogwarts’ Gryffindor Common Room again, reminding him of happier times as a teenager before the war, when he had best friends? (Although surely reminded of his misdeeds, all the time, by Harry who looks the spitting image of James but with Lily’s eyes and her sass?)

He wanted to win. To be on the side of the winning team, untouchable, protected - as he once was in school by his fellow marauders.

I thought maybe the reason he went to such great lengths, of his own accord, why he so desperately wanted to bring back Voldy and have the Death Eaters win, is that at least he’ll be then able to tell himself it was all worth it (the betrayals, the deaths on his conscience, the life as a rat). That maybe Voldy and his wix will finally respect him? Because if Voldy loses, then all his godawful life will have been for what? For nothing?

[pitconfirm]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

thank you for tagging @mars-mystic!! mwah 😽

1. How many works do you have on ao3

eight, two of which are anon teehee (but i think one is very obviously mine 😅)

2. What’s your total AO3 word count? 

60,694... soon to be over 70k 🙈

3. What fandoms do you write for?

im just here for lance nation..... writing about my pookie wookie

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

excluding my anon fics which are the actual #1 and #3...

1 - Gatito (the people yearn for kitty lance)

2 - Midas Touch

3 - Broken Glass (guys please someone else write more 141831 im begging....... i cannot be the only threesome in this tag)

4 - Venus Flytrap

5 - Kamikaze

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I love responding to comments.... i love every comment I respond to every comment unless it's just emojis or i have literally no idea how to respond 😭

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I guess Kamikaze is my only fic with a kind of angsty ending... but not really. i don't like angsty endings 😭 i need problems to be solved. if i know a fic has an angsty ending i generally will not even touch it

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

im now realising that most of my fics on ao3 are just straight up porn..... i swear i am planning more substantial things in the future. but i guess my two tumblr drabbles have happy endings?? oh wait or Detonate.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

luckily i've never gotten any hate at all..... not even anon hate asks, i feel like im missing out. this is what I get for being kind and amazing 😔🫶

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

do i even need to answer this. every kind. almost.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

not crossovers but there are like.... specific aus living in my mind that i want to write. hunger games au, dbh au.... beloveds.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

i hope not 🤨

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

🙅‍♂️

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

no....... not yet 🤔

14. What’s your all-time favourite ship?

tbh I’ve read so many different fandoms and ships over the years but strollonso is the one I’ve been most feral about. or maybe arthur/eames from inception…..

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I literally have zero wips right now except venus flytrap. the ideas in my brain have dried up like the sahara desert to work on this thing. once I’m finished we’ll see

16. What are your writing strengths?

I like to think I have good wit and flow. and maybe attention to detail… always thinking what more I can add to a scene to make it more palpable

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I think just…. really terrible self criticism. a lot of the time I’m writing and I’m like… what if this sucks what if everyone hates this what if blah blah blah….. WHO CARES!!!!!! I wish I could be less worried about that

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I will write a few words if I feel confident enough about them but not whole passages. I always have nando saying little bits in spanish

19. First fandom you wrote for?

TOOOO EMBARRASSING. I only ever wrote for one other fandom and I was 13 on wattpad and shudder every time I remember

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

I guess it has to be venus flytrap for the pure amount of effort I’ve put in…. and because it’s definitely the most well written by farrrr. I cringe a little reading my other stuff now 😭 but I guess that’s just the nature of improving over time

NO idea who’s already done this so forgive me if I’m being a goof @lil-shiro @lou-who-writes @parallelplayers @boxboxbrioche @vicsy @userkritaaay and now my brain is firing blanks so sorry if I forgot any of my beautiful writer friends

[seospicybin]

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!

And happy Alentine's Ay to to anyone who didn't get any V or D on this special day. Eitherway, I have just the 8 fics to make your heart fluttering. (Also, as an effort to beat the allegations that I only write sad fics!)

I curated a playlist of my favorite love songs here 💘

THINNING. Bangchan x reader. (s,f)

It's a classic friends-to-lovers. I surprised myself because I personally thought Chan wouldn't fit that trope. Why? Because I would catch feelings right away without being his friend first. fyi, this fic is inspired by a Reddit thread.

Fave quote: "But people oftentimes hide behind the 'actions speak louder than words' and that makes them okay with love left unsaid. No one is a mind reader. If you love someone, they want you to verbalize how you feel. This is real life, not a chess game."

PEACH. Lee Know x reader. (s, a whole lot of f)

The idea was born from the fact that Minho likes strange smells (e.g gasoline, concrete, etc) and he likes them because they hold certain memories for him. It's a one-shot with a sprinkle of breeding kink. One of my favorite old works of mine and there's a cameo from Soonie.

Fave quote: “You are one ripe, juicy peach,” he said against your lips, “and everybody wants a taste.”

PIED PIPER. Changbin x reader. (s,f)

I think I created a dangerous Changbin in this fic but do I regret it? Not at all. Think of campus bad boy Changbin who knows how to seduce you just right. Seductive and a little messy, just how I like it.

Fave quote: "One more look in the mirror and he gets the assurance that he doesn't need to be insecure about his body, he knows he'll never fit into everyone's standard but he feels good about himself. That's why girls are crazy for him. He is so sure of himself and it shows."

ONE DANCE. Hyunjin x reader. (s,f)

I never wrote a fic this fast. It's smut with a simple plot and not going to lie, I loved it so much. I'm writing the full fic on this from the mc pov, hope I'll be able to release it soon. And oh I recommend listening to Frank Ocean's Pyramid as you read it.

Fave quote: "His worry replaced with the guilt of ever doubting your feelings for him, but on top of that, he feels the happiest to know that you are his. He's indeed so lucky to have your love for free."

DOTING. Han x reader. (s,f)

It's dorky, awkward, and bizarrely cute (?) I got inspired by an episode of Black Mirror that I come back to from time to time. I promise you it has no grim ending, but you'll learn a lot of new random facts from reading it.

Fave quote: "If humans truly are made of star stuff, he believes you are made from the brightest star in the universe because he refuses to believe that he is made of the same thing. As he stares at your body he changes his mind almost immediately, he believes you are made of outer space and he wants to explore."

GODSPEED. Felix x reader. (s,f,a)

It tells about a relationship that forces one to be out of its comfort zone. I tried to capture every bit of Felix in it and it's my favorite Felix fic second close to Twin Flame. I know there's angst in it but trust me, the pain is worth it in the end.

Fave quote: "You can’t stay stagnant in a relationship just because it feels comfortable. You were too comfortable and that was why the space scared you both."

ONE PROPOSITION. Seungmin x reader. (s,f)

Do you also think that love is just... yuck??? If yes, then let Seungmin change your mind. It's cute but not on the cringe side (or I hope so) it's rom-com worthy and Seungmin is so Seungmin in it with his square shoulders and he's a good kisser and and and...

Fave quote: "Love is some hocus pocus shit, got you completely bewitched."

MILK. I.N x reader. (s,f)

Just like the title itself, a love story that is so simple and sweet. It doesn't have, let's say, 'the happiest of ending' but I like it how it is. A love that asks nothing, it's as pure as milk.

Fave quote: "They remind me that there are still some innocence and purity in this world. And the way they see the world with so much curiosity and full of wonder, I wish I could relive that again,” he said with a sigh.

“To experience everything for the first time all over again,” you added while looking up at the blue sky."

-

Happy Valentine's Day, everyone! Remember that the greatest love of all is the love you have for yourself, or that's what the one Celine Dion song taught me. ily 🤟🏻💘

[ramennoodlezzzao3]

nobody asked me to answer, but I’m gonna anyways 😝

🎱 ⇢ post your AO3 total stats 

Idk how to do that lol

🍓 ⇢ how did you get into writing fanfiction?

I couldn’t find any fics that I wanted bc I’m too specific, so I started writing. It was purely for fun and I wasn’t fully thinking about the fact that people might actually read it AND enjoy it lol

  🌵 ⇢ share the link to a playlist you love

me and some of my moots from TikTok created this playlist lol (it’s, like, 14 hours long)

🕯️ ⇢ on a scale from 1 to 10, how much do you enjoy editing? why is that? Idk what that means but ima go off of what I’m thinking and that is just editing while proof reading and I enjoy it! 10/10

🛼 ⇢ describe your latest wip with five emojis

🙏👉😁🔥💀 (no, it’s not abt the burning church 💀🙏)

🥑 ⇢ you accidentally killed somebody, which mutual(s) do you text for help?

I’m new here, I have no EXTREMELY close moots so idk. But @paul-ster seems pretty chill so probably them (

🥤 ⇢ recommend an author or fanfic you love

I HAVE SO MANY I LOVE! But if I had to choose rn Soracha for the author and “Ron Weasley and His First Year at Hogwarts” by snoopy_owl. Two of my favs!

💌 ⇢ how many unread emails do you have right now? 

none, believe it or not. I constantly check it for ao3 updates. But I also have three separate yt accounts so I get regular emails abt comments and updates and I normally check them everyday. The only exception is one email I use for spam sites like grammarly, that email has 408 unread emails.

🌻 ⇢ tag someone you appreciate but don't talk to on a regular basis

@fictionalcharactergraveyard

🐇 ⇢ do you prefer writing original characters, reader inserts, or a mix of both? 

ooo, neither tbh. Unless its a one-shot or a mini fic where I add a S/O or like my unpublished Uber fic where I had to add several OG characters, I don’t like adding new ones bc I think it disrupts the story a lot and I normally don’t read fics when people do that. And personally, unless it’s the ones that are supposed to be halrious and satire, I think self-inserts are kinda cringey bc most people who write them over-sexulize the characters and add weird stuff in that makes me cringe (key word: MOST not ALL) but also I just cant imagine myself dating someone let alone my comfort characters.

🧃 ⇢ share some personal lore you never posted about before

I don’t think I have any

🎲 ⇢ what stops you from writing more in your free time?

I just can’t get into the writing mood. But when I start it’s really hard to stop

  🍄 ⇢ share a head canon for one of your favourite ships or pairings

PURLY! I love to think Curly calls pony “Mi Amor” or like calls him pet names in Spanish. I think it’s really cute

🧸 ⇢ what's the fastest way to become your mutual?

literally don’t be fake as hell. Don’t be all shy and sweet like, if you are comeback or Yapping king/queen then tell me bc we can yap together. Like, If I can call you Pookie within the first four interactions, we are besties, considered us married at that point

🪐 ⇢ name three good things going on in your life right now

I’m redecorating my room, I got a new puppy, and- wait, bitch, who gives a fuck, let’s be honest 💀🙏

📚 ⇢ what's the last thing you wrote down in your notes app?

can’t say bc it’s an unpublished chapter of a on going fic 😝

  🍬 ⇢ post an unpopular opinion about a popular fandom character

Harry Potter is kinda an ass

🔪 ⇢ what's the weirdest topic you researched for a writing project?

I don’t write anything too bizarre so I can’t think of anything

🦷 ⇢ share some personal wisdom or a life hack you swear on

strive to accomplish what you set as a goal, not what society set as a standard or a must

❄️ ⇢ what's your dream theme/plot for a fic, and who would write it best?

My comfort character gets ignored hard core, makes new friends, get into shenanigans, and then a lot of angst ensues. Who would write it best? Mmm…Fictionalcharacter graveyard or Soracha

🌿 ⇢ give some advice on writer's block and low creativity

if you have a scene you want to write for a fic, start writing it but ONLY WRITE THE DIALOGUE. You can add who said it but I do it all the time and it gives me new ideas and gradually helps me continue a fic. It’s also easier to add detail in between when you are focused on that instead of getting to the next dialogue scene.

🥐 ⇢ name one internet reference that will always make you laugh 

Nick Sturniolos iconic “Then he will taste the rainbow while he goes out”

🏜️ ⇢ what's your favourite type of comment to receive on your work?

“I LOVE THIS, I CAN’T WAIT FOR ANOTHER CHAPTER!” Then they go on an entire yap session about how they think the fic will turn out or parts they’re excited for. It always makes me happy to see someone enjoy my hobby as much as I do even though we have different perspectives 🤭

🍦 ⇢ name three good things about a character you hate

Alr, ik im gonna get backlash but i cant stand Cherry Valence. 1. I will give it to her, she’s a downright badass.

2. her hair is really pretty

3. She was nice to pony at the drive in, I’ll give her some points (still don’t like her too much tho)

🥝 ⇢ do you lie a lot? what's the most recent lie you told?

Not much. Okay, this is gonna sound so fricking clique but that last lie I told was “Yeah, I’m fine, just tired” even though I know damn well I’m probably depressed asf

🦋 ⇢ share something that has been on your heart and mind lately

I have only older siblings and every time one moves out, I stop talking to them so I don’t become the annoying youngest sister, so I’m afraid their gonna forget about me, and they probably will. I only have two siblings that still live with me so that’s only two more people left to forget me before I’m totally alone lol. (Depressed, see?)

  🦴 ⇢ is there a piece of media that inspires your writing? 

book writers that can describe really well.

🍅 ⇢ give yourself some constructive criticism on your own writing

I think I’m too impatient and give myself an unrealistic deadline for stuff

🐚 ⇢ do you like or dislike surprises?

I like them a lot!

🪲 ⇢ add 50 words to your current wip and share the paragraph here

I’ll add that later lol

☁️ ⇢ what made you choose your username?

it was a name my family wouldn’t be able to find. I’m embarrassed to write bc my family LOVES to pick out your insecurities and hobbies and never let you live them down.

🐝 ⇢ tag your biggest supporter(s) and say one nice thing about them

again, I’m new here, so nobody here is my “supporter” but @shae-pine has liked all of my posts so ig them? I got to say, that “The Youngest (The Favorite)” fic I really liked! Ur also just the sweetest person ever! 😭🫶🏻

🌸 ⇢ do you have any pets? if you do, post some pictures of them

I have 7 (I had 8 but my cat passed away yesterday, RIP in the comments for Sophie 🩵)

I won’t post pics because that’s a large file 😭🙏

🎨 ⇢ link your favourite piece of fanart and explain why you like it

I DONT HAVE THE LINK BUT I LOVE THIS

🧩 ⇢ what will make you click away from a fanfiction immediately?

self insert, too much OOC scenes, pairings I don’t like, oc’s/characters unless it’s the character I’m reading abt, pure smut or p*rn, over sexulization or romanticizing R*pe, over detailed non-con, specific characters are dead, and the fic doesn’t focus on a character that I wanna read about.

[s-dei]

Tagged by @thetentaclecommander !

Not that much of a writer, but I will answer what fits 'w'

When did you start writing?

I remember writing silly stories w/ my friend for lulz in the middle school. But well, many ppl were writing those cringe yet fun stories at the time, and I was fascinated by them till I became older. The first time I wrote something complete and shared it online was in 2019. I think since then I began to at least writing lil scenes, without aiming to finalize them tho.

Are there different themes or genres you enjoy reading than what you write?

Not reading much and not writing much to tell. But I think I can read anything except my squicks, while my writing is mostly about something happening between certain chars.

Is there a writer you want to emulate or get compared to often?

Nope, currently just lookin for my own style

Can you tell me a bit about your writing space?

I mostly write on my PC in G-docs. Sometimes I type lil things on the smartphone notes. They're both actually dumb, coz PC have too many distracting stuff, and the phone is just uncomfy with it's tiny keys.

What's your most effective way to muster up a muse?

Just to be a stupid dog over my stuff xD Well, honestly I haven't got a habit yet, and don't have a ways to warm myself up after a long pause. Those two times I managed to write something were "wow, there is and idea and I like it" and I was writing in the same day and finished it within a week or something. I think I have enough WIPs to have one done without a something like 'muse', just my pragmatic will, but I always can't find the right time (drawing gets in the way xD)

Are there any recurring themes in your writing? Do they surprise you?

hmmmm I think what I like is "what keeps people together?" It can be any type of relationship, but I enjoy scenes where something between chars is changing. Strangers to friends. One char realizing their feelings for another. A pair having the first time. Lovers to enemies, etc.

What is your reason for writing?

I may grumble, but writing is fun. It's another, uncomparable to drawing act of creation, with it's own pros and cons. Some things just go easier with writing.

How do you want to be thought about by your readers?

idk but i hope we can make a pack

What do you feel is your greatest strength as a writer?

Being niche and fked up enjoyer? :D

How do you feel about your own writing?

Honestly - I love it. Sometimes I do re-read my WIPs and think 'damn those are good, when will you bring your ass to finish them?' But even just re-reading cheers me up. Sometimes it's even fun, coz in the hard moments I often do write silly and it keeps my attention on it

When you write, are you influenced by what others might enjoy reading, or do you write purely for yourself, or a mix of both?

Just following my heart and what I want.

Feel free to grab the questions! 👁👄👁

[alisonfelixwrites]

hi i just wanted to say that i just read lucky penny on wattpad and i'm... trying to figure out how to say this. i'm not well. i'm kind of. fuck. words. struggle. ugh. i'm in a really dark spot in my life. and i stumbled across lucky penny, not knowing what to expect, it's the first thing i've ever read by you. and i just needed to tell you how much it means to me. the amount of times i couldn't fight off the cheek splitting grins, blushes, and giggles that story caused me to have is insane. the most from anything i've ever read. and in a time in my life where i don't wear a drop of makeup anymore because i know that most of my days i'll end up crying it off, smiling and laughing is... not common. i was overwhelmed with so much giddiness when reading it. tiny squeals and hiding under my blanket when overcome with all the joy i felt. and it's such a foreign feeling right now. i know people say things like that a lot - 'giggling and kicking my feet', 'screaming', etc. etc. and its probably lost its impact to think you've made people feel that way... but for me, it's so unusual. it's like a drug to me right now, that kind of joy. and i've never felt it as strongly.

i also didn't expect to find that the relationship penny was in is just like a previous one of mine, and the way you wrote it... only someone who's been through it could write it like you did. and so for that, you have my heartfelt empathy. it's so hard to describe that relationship, and sometimes it still is... to somehow put it into words. it's always seemed intangible when explaining it. but you put words to it. the way you've shown it through different points of view is beautiful and a real talent.

the story is lovely. and there's so much fun with it. the friendship dynamic added such a lovely layer to the story, and was so refreshing to have that comradery so present in the storyline. it makes me yearn for something similar. the sexual exploration. the dialogue. the silly goofy. the playfulness. all of it was just really beautiful and i can't remember the last time i've felt my heart beat out of my chest like that. i can't wait to re-read it again.

i just wanted to say thank you. i saw your notes on it as i continued to read and realized that you' wrote 'd written it during a tough period in your life. so it was an escape for you. it was therapeutic. and that's exactly what it is to me.

hi :'(((((( this HAS TO BE one of the sweetest messages i ever received omfg i don't even know what to say. i'm so glad i could make you smile for a little bit and that lucky penny was sooo positive for you! i actually wrote it in a very similar point in my life, when I was very sick and bedbound. i wrote 70 chapters in like 6 weeks lol, I was just writing non stop and they meant so much to me and did so much for me. it's crazy to me how they can do so much for others too. ngl I was thinking of lucky penny lately and reread some of it and sooo many things made me cringe and i seriously considered reworking it/ rewriting it to fit my current writing style more - but the story is so charming even with the mistakes i made when writing it. i wrote it so quickly and it all came so naturally that i didn't think twice of the stuff i wrote, so it feel so pure to me :)) i'm so sorry you went through such a horrifying relationship and lost so much of yourself in it. i promise it gets sooooo much better!!!!!! thank you for this, i wanna give you the biggest hug, literally omg you made me tear up MWAHHHH <3333

[protect-daniel-james]

honestly, i'd talk about fanfic with you all day and would totally ask you all of these, but how about: ❤️, 🥴 (however you define weird), 🌶️, 🏆, 🫣

haha thank you!

The fanfiction that holds a special place in your heart

Definitely the fics that were at the beginning of now "big" ships - I was the second person to post a Rakidrić fic on AO3, and the first person to post a Gavi/Pedri fic in there. I like being ahead of the curve, to be kind of "proven right" about certain chemistries being interesting and appealing. And I like the idea that someone thought of Gavi/Pedri fic, searched AO3, and mine was The One fic that was there in their time of need - before others eventually got the balls to write one as well (and now there's almost 350 fics with Gavi/Pedri, which is amazing, since it's a lovely ship). So these two will always be kind of special in this sense. I wrote a bunch of unpopular/rare ships, and I don't strive to write what's popular or what most people would read - I hope that someone might read my fic and think - this makes sense, why didn't I know/think about this pairing; rather than being one of the billions who write about Messi/Ron or Messi/Neymar etc.

I also wrote the first Harry Kane/Pochettino fic, and I'm sad and disappointed there's not more about them! (they deserved it)

Your weirdest fanfiction

In terms of pairing, definitely the Unai/Football one, but I am proud of it and once again - I think it is subtle and it makes sense. Like, it's written in a way that could convince someone to ship them, haha (I hope). I think the weirdest in the sense of story itself it's probably Italian Cuisine. I cringe at the stuff I wrote about Ronaldo/Dybala, because a lot of it was pure PWP with a bit of angst. It was really explicit compared with what I've been writing lately; and it's basically meaningless porn that's not really my style anymore. It feels weird to me now that I was like - oh sure, lets write about Ron fucking Dybala with a cucumber. There's no other meaning, or reason, or any sort of explanation.... It's literally just that. And I think I don't like writing stuff like that anymore.

I wrote a lot of "weird" things in terms of incest, omorashi, piss kink, priest!AU, priest kink, Basque separatism!AU, or even more in the past - Trudeau/Macron PWP lol ... But I think all of these were justified/served the story/served the exploration of the dynamic - but there is just no excuse for the cucumber story, period.

Your spiciest fanfiction

Uuufff, that's difficult to say since I find most of my PWPs from 2018-2019 cringy (and that's when I wrote most of the spicy stuff). Probably Rakidrić's Never knew anyone in love or Three is a charm (Two is not the same) about Kane/Poch/Southgate threesome. And of course, the priest kink with Dalić/Modrić (and it was my first risqué fic, or a fic that I felt like some people might have a problem with), I do like a priest kink hehehehe. Once again I would write it a bit differently and probably more...subtly today? I think I wrote a couple of nice spicy PWP things back in the day, but now I feel like I use smut scarcely, non-explicitly, or as a tool to depict someone's deep desperation and inability to connect/communicate in other way (Lampardverse, Frank/Mason, Scamacca/Paquetá...)

The fanfiction you are the most proud of

Right now, probably The Stands of Villa Park. Ngl, some parts made me emotional, because it made me think of the reasons why ppl love football so much, and how important it is, how it is part of life (I wrote my Master's thesis about something slightly covering this subject, so naturally I am passionate about it) - and it gave me an opportunity to explore all of this in a deeper, visceral manner of someone who would not survive without football, who needs it more than food and drink, and who needs all his senses filled with football, football, and only football.

I'm proud of the whole Lampardverse experience (but it's not my verse wink wink) and its stories because it just makes sense and explains a lot.

I think atmosphere wise, I really like Briefly and We'll Always Have London because of the heavy implications and what is left unsaid - the unrequited feeling in the former, and the relationship breaking up in the latter. I like having that in fics.

The fanfiction you were most hesitant to post

The Grizicest saga. I feel like it was sort of an appetizer before Lampardverse, and a lot of the themes first explored in Grizicest are now being rediscovered in Lampardverse. I actually got one anon hate for the Grizou, Grizou story on my previous blog loooool. Today, I would write it differently, definitely. But the main plot would probably stay mostly the same.

Also, today I wouldn't care at all about someone hating on that story. Look, (wo)man, I feel like writing a story about Unai fucking a football pitch. Or a trophy. Or Scamacca pissing on Paquetá, or Cousin Jamie breeding Franko. What are you going to do about it? As I said in the notes for my last fic, patrolling days are over.

[trashyswitch]

Adding my 2 cents into your YouTuber poll

I think it also depends on the YouTuber.

Obviously if they've expressed discomfort around fanfiction/fanart in the past then it's a hard no.

But I also think it depends on what sort of YouTuber they are. Every YouTuber has to put on some level of persona in front of the camera (whether consciously or subconsciously), and I think that plays a big part in the whole debate.

In a way people are writing about the persona they see rather than the real person behind the screen, but in other cases they're too similar to really make a distinction.

I voted no purely because I would never write for irl people BUT I think it's a lot more complex than black or white, yes or no, or n$fw/sfw.

Sorry to drop a whole essay in your ask box lmao enjoy your day 😊😊

I completely agree. And I knew that going into this poll, it would not be a black or white answer. If they have expressed discomfort around certain fanfictions, then we have to respect that boundary. For example, Jack and Mark with the Septiplier stuff. It was rampant, and went way too far. And…Sean doesn’t want anything else like that being made. And I 100% respect that. I cringe too at how far it went, and I still express hatred about how much that strained their friendship over the years. It was bad enough for me, but I can’t imagine how painful it was for them…

And you have a good point when it comes to personas too. Some people have personas they show off online and turn off once the camera’s off, while others’ have grown to enjoy being themselves regardless of camera involvement. People are most likely writing about the persona that person puts on, rather than the person behind the scenes. So this has to be put into account too.

The truth is…I have written for YouTubers before. I have a few fanfics up about different YouTubers in my masterpost. But…just because it was okay a month or a year ago, doesn’t mean it’s still okay now…which is why I wrote this poll: for the future.

And don’t worry about ‘dropping me an essay’. I rather love reading and seeing people’s opinions! And while the poll looks very black and white upon first glance…I personally know that the subject is far from black and white. And I will take all these angles into account when looking into considering writing more YouTubers’ fanfictions.

Thanks!

~Pocket