#Raysands father

[palomita-de-la-sangre]



More of the magical dictator 

I’m kind of fascinated with the relationships characters had before canon so I kind of want to do a series of drawings that explore that. I think I’m gonna call it Red versus Blue but Idk. Basically, it’s about my theory that before, and after the first war Night and Autumn, were having an arms race behind the scene and that’s why in canon today the Night court is so powerful.

Also, for the life of me, I don’t know what Barons eyes look like, or if his appearance is even really described so he has a green and amber eye because I make up the rules. Is it even said he has a beard or do we all just head canon him as having one?

[thatgirl4815]

*Cue Sand’s tragic backstory*

[fanfictionroxs]

*wakes up in a cold sweat*

What if Sand-Mew are half-brothers?

[scrumptiousstuffs]

Only Friends Episode 4 - Emergency Contact

Where very much needed conversations between most of the casts are done. And the water becomes murkier with even more messy connections and entangled characters. This is me again just trying to process what I saw and keeping my thoughts straight before the next episode

Mew and Ray

Well, we learn more about Ray and why he is fixated with Mew. I feel like he has put Mew up in this pedestal of a perfect man/friend. Ray seems to have an obsessive personality and he has the need to be taken care of, which Mew has done so far as his closest friend, bar from one aspect - the one as a lover, and now with Top in the picture, he feels neglected somehow. It doesn’t help his poor self-esteem or his lonely soul.

Khaotung as usual nailed it with his opening performance of someone who was (may still be?) suicidal, using prescription pills and alcohol to numb his sorrows and loneliness. Mew being his emergency contact because he truly has nobody in his corner - no other close friends (maybe Chuem? certainly not Boston), an absent father and a dead mom (who we also learn probably don’t love him when she was alive, and Ray blaming himself for her death 🥲). And so, when Mew saved Ray that night, fiercely reminding him “I’ll always be in your corner. I love you, all our friends love you”, I don’t blame Ray for ditching Sand that night (he could have explain and handle it better but Ray as we now know is a disaster muffin 😫).

In some way, Ray is immature. He loves wholeheartedly but also selfishly, which in turn means he sometimes makes questionable decisions. Like him kissing Mew without consent? - a big 🚫🙅🏾‍♀️.

And I’m glad Mew called him out for it. It was a needed scene. Khao and Book handled the scene impeccably (both the aftermath and Ray’s subsequent sincere apology to Mew in the latter apartment). Similarly, I’m glad Mew made it clear to Ray while he will always think Ray as his dearest friend, that’s all they will ever be - yes it’s heartbreaking for Ray, but it’s a step for Ray to hopefully move forward, although I doubt he will be able to forget Mew as his first love/crush quickly, and my worry is as the episodes progresses and we see RaySand blossoming while TopMew in crisis - Mew calling Ray for help, the latter may again drop Sand (unintentionally or not) like a hot coal 🙃….

Ray and Sand

Which brings us to my bias couple 😅….Sand was absolutely in his rights to ignore Ray’s messages after being ditch like that on the night. He has enough self-awareness about his burgeoning feelings for Ray but knows Ray is not ready for it (he may not know about Mew (yet),but Ray’s immaturity and selfish nature means Sand is wary to start anything deeper).

But well, we all know Ray is a persistent gremlin and he is a sweet charmer when he wants to be. Paired that with his effective puppy eyes (gawd…I think we have seen it in effect 3-4 times now!!!), and Sand fold each time (I don’t blame you sir! 😂)

My favourite scenes from this episode (which I’m sure hold true for most SandRay bias) will have to be the guitar 🎸 shop and music record store scenes. The whole conversation between Sand and Ray in the guitar shop was 👌👌👌- Sand making it clear he is uncomfortable with Ray throwing money around, bluntly saying friendship and love cannot be bought and Sand advising Ray should be mindful of other people’s feelings. But we are again reminded how low Ray’s self-esteem is that he asked Sand to yell at him as a “burden to the society”, thinking it will make Sand forgive him. And when Sand does the opposite, I think there is a genuine surprise from Ray, which brought upon the soft scene of which we see Ray admits he cares about Sand feelings, wanting to make amend…

And then we penned to the music store scene where further much needed conversation between these 2 happen - that whole conversation about fav band and music was 🫶. As a metaphor of Ray being stuck and living the past, never taking the opportunity to embrace the future or open up to his present (with Sand again gently but firmly pointing it to him).

Plus the whole scene of them listening to the music record, sneaking glances at each other and their fingers gradually drifting closer while eventually intertwining 🥰🥰🥰(First killed it with his yearning and soft eyes in this episode, and Khao’s genuine smile light up his whole face - I’m a goner for these 2 🫠)

We finished this episode with Ray now focusing all his energy in wooing Sand (do I think it means he has forgotten Mew as his first love?Not really, and I think that will be a contentious matter once Sand finds out, and I still think Ray alcoholism +/- drug habits will also rear its ugly head soon. Because as we can see, Ray has no interest at present to change or confront his trauma. For now, he is using Sand as a substitute (if I can put it this way? To run away from his problem and loneliness). But I have faith these 2 will hopefully come out relatively unscathed 🤞

Mew and Top

Sigh…these 2 are so sweet together with Top always so attentive towards Mew. And I do feel he genuinely likes Mew. And Mew likes Top (he said it himself to Ray, Top is the first person his heart beat faster for). But urghhhh, Top’s lies are piling up. Not only did he betray Mew with Boston (and yes he regret it, but he didn’t come clean about the incident, even after finding out MewRay had done nothing more than 1 kiss TWO years ago). He also lied about Beam and his drug habits until Mew pressed it out of him. And yeah, I wasn’t a fan of the whole Top saying he wants a reward if he gave up his drug habits, suggestively indicating to Mew what he truly wanted was the sexual relationship he desired and up until recently being denied. And even when Mew said “no penetration”, he sneakily then volunteer another tidbit about his ex, trying to persuade Mew not to worry about the past.

You know, Mew’s list of what he thinks make a good partner/BF - I don’t think Top filled any of it (he doesn’t get along will ALL of Mew’s friend - Ray being the prime example and Mew knows this, he can see the tension and snide comments whenever these 2 interacts, he doesn’t respect Mew and he had lied countless of times 😩😣).

But I guess, love is blind and Mew may think he can change Top’s behaviour? (Kudos to Force and Book though, their actings were also amazing to watch! Can’t believe a sweetie like Force acting so arrogantly on screen that it made me want to throw my remote to the TV👌)

Top and Boston

Which then comes to Top and his strenuous relationship with Boston. If anything, I’m at least glad Top expressed his regret about his lapse of judgment - having that ill-advised encounter with Boston. And I’m so glad he finally confronted Boston in the lift, putting a stop on Boston frankly disgusting behaviour (isn’t it twice now he sexually harassed Top? Once in the shower cubicle when he said No as well). No means No and Boston doesn’t seem to have learn his lesson (which frankly worries me about his other sexual conquests, are they all consensus??? And now we learn his father is into politics, so a scandal of any sorts by Boston will be a disaster; plus him taking pictures/videos without consent, like what he did with RayMew and using it to spin a web of lies on Top - yeah this guy is a massive red flag 🚩)

Boston and Nick

Another big sigh from me. Nick is now realising how much of an asshole Boston can be, but I guess Boston has never really hid his intention. He has bluntly told Nick that he is not looking for a relationship - at most, FWB and I don’t think he promise exclusivity as well. Boston is promiscous and proud of it - his friends know it, and even Sand as an outsider has heard of his reputation.

But what I’m truly devastated for Nick is that how manipulative Boston can be. He knows how to twist words and sweet talk to placate Nick (not that Nick is trying hard to go against him because he loves Boston even if everyone of us here can agree he deserves better 😣). Boston gives false sense of hope to Nick, in order to basically have someone at his back to fulfill his sexual needs. Does that mean Boston stop his other “relationship?” I don’t think so, in fact, I won’t be surprised if he had other sexual partners (other than Nick) going on at the same time.

We can also agree Nick is not truly innocent in all of this mess - his obsessive love for Boston is spiraling out of control and bringing the worst in him. Him bugging Boston’s car? (A big 🙅🏾‍♀️), and then snooping on Boston’s phone (also not good behaviour). Plus, him listening to the sound of TopBoston going at it in his room (yeah..that’s a worrying sign 😫)…

(Again kudos to Neo and Mark, they played their roles 🫡🫡🫡 that I’m cursing everytime Boston opened his mouth and shaking my head whenever these 2 are on screen 😅)

Nick and Top

Which brings to the scene of Nick confronting Top, asking Top to stop meeting Boston. And when Top clarified and say, it has always been Boston who did the chasing despite Top being uninterested, well…you can see Nick face fell.

And Top giving some advice on how Nick should be careful with Boston as he is truly a piece of work (well, it’s warranted but it’s like the pot calling kettle black, yeah?)

However, I think it’s truly sad (and quite ominous) when Nick calmly say he knows how nasty Boston can be, because he is nasty too (is that a foreshadow that Nick will seek revenge and destroy Boston’s future? esp now we know Boston dislikes getting his pictures taken with Nick for the fear of the scandal ruining his dad’s political aspiration??)

Top and Sand

It’s alluded in previous episodes that these 2 had a connection. And now we know, Top seduced (Is that the right word for it?) Sand’s ex. Sand is obviously still bitter about it but I’m thinking if your ex dump you for someone like Top, Sand is better off without him (just saying 💁‍♀️). But I am curious if the ex will come crawling back to Sand and cause havoc in SandRay newly blossoming relationship??? Or even to TopMew? - Esp with Top finally informing Mew about Boeing (seriously what’s with Thai’s nickname??? I snorted when Top said this out loud), an ex who gave him the plane model, which Top reassure Mew is no longer of consequence (if he is not that important, why did Top keep the plane? I might be wrong but I do think Boeing is the ex of both Sand and Ray??)

Sand and Nick

Ahhhhh, finally with all the headaches and mess from the rest of the characters, I’m glad to see some friendly, brotherhood like relationship between at least 2 of the characters 🥹🥹🥹🥹

I love their easy banter and the way they tease each other about their crushes (although said crushes are essentially disastrous in different ways). In a way, both Sand and Nick are also lonely individuals (or at the very least, we don’t see much outside of Sand/Nick working in their respective jobs and uni (presumably). So, having a genuine friendship that is not complicated - 🙌 I am super glad for them!!!

(Also, I’m still petitioning for Sand at some stage to go all protective bear on Nick and use the baseball bat that we saw in the pilot trailer to destroy Boston +/- Top’s car(s)?)

03/09/2023

(This episode was I think a pivotal one, where we are starting to see everyone’s motivation and character development - be it good or bad…as usual, I can’t wait for the next episode…is it Saturday yet?)

[shakalakaaa]

Character study OF - 1 (RaySand)

Because everyone here has a lot of shades - both good and bad, as First had said. Also, I want to understand why they are the way they are. It helps that P'jojo said it is based on IRL people. I would take things that have been revealed in show and also some of my own assumptions (based on songs, director's tweets, interviews etc)

RAY

The good side -

He is genuine, he means well. He has no games to play and he does tell what he wants (as much as he can comprehend himself).

He also has capacity self-reflect immediately, he apologized to both Mew and Sand. He might be impulsive in that instant, but he does care about the feelings of others and offers genuine apology for that moment

The not so good side -

He is somewhat selfish, even when asking out Mew he said "Only you can make me happy", he offered nothing to him. Same with Sand. He only offers money as compensation, not himself.

He clearly ignores boundaries, as seen for both Mew and Sand. Be it physical, emotional. I don't think he really understands that concept very well

Also, he is leading Sand on in a way, he does not understand that him giving 100% focus and then taking it away in a instant can hurt feelings. He needs to be consistent with actions, words have value which he is not really taking accountiblity for

He depends on others to 'save him'. He has in a way given up on self. Most of his issues stems because he wants someone to save him and he gets attached to them way too quickly.

Why? -

Obviously his Mother's death . A parent's death can leave long lasting trauma, more so if she was abusive, blaming him for her issues which he holds himself responsible for.

Also, he might have an abusive father (song- daddy issues in OF Sand's playlist) who held him responsible for his wife's death and other things, he might have gone through years of verbal abuse which he has internalized.

I don't think so he had seen healthy family dynamics growing up. Their parents might have fought a lot and he might have gotten reeled in. This is can destroy the cognitive functioning of a child. They never learn to ground themselves, the emotional pain can be too much as an adult, that you just don't want to exist anymore. To end the pain. I think Ray things about dying quite a lot, it is just not those once a while emotional breakdown. He might not think about it actively, it probably goes in the back of his which manifests as his extreme lack of self preservation

Also Alcoholism and depression has genetic factors, he might have inherited them from his mother.

SAND

The good side -

He is straight laced, honest and has good moral compass. Just like Ray, he also is genuine. He really values love and friendship. For him, it come before anything else

The best part, he is such a good listener. He listens calmly without judgement and knows how to respond well. The way he handled Ray talking about his mother (the contrast is visible when Top talks to Mew about his trauma, even if Top was lying that was such a insensitive way to respond). Or Nick talking about Boston. The first time they talked about Boston he asked him to stay away from him, because the mood was light but the second he just listened and expressed solidarity because Nick was vulnerable and sad. You don't give advice then (contrast again when Top advices Nick, though it was not insensitive like Mew since he barely knows Nick and he did not know Nick knows how Boston is)

He is giving and caring, Changing Ray's out of his clothes after dragging his ass back, charging his phone. His plants blooming and being lush green tells that, he puts constant effort and care in them, despite him being quite busy.

He loves selflessly to some extent, unlike Nick and Mew I don't think so he does not want to change Ray. He likes him for who is. He has questionable choices here but ethical nonetheless.

I don't think so he will not cause unnecessary issues to other to get self-gratification or quell jealousy like Boston or Nick. Top, Mew and even Ray has the tendency to do it. But, I can't see him lying, scheming for purely his self-interest which can harm others. He is confident in who he is and values self. He knows drama and wants no part in it. Boy just wants to sing, earn and love

Also he hates, eats and punches the rich

The not so good side-

He might lie to others, but he does lie to self. The whole getting in Ray's orbit despite knowing he is playing with 'fire'. He knew who and how he was, unlike other pairs they have been the most 'themselves' with each other, so him getting hurt by Ray is a lot on him as well. He clearly know he can't expect but yet he does.

He recognizes red flags but still not only choses to stay with them rather keep getting involved. Obviously Ray but also Nick, when he made him listen to a Sex tape he recorded. I would be wary of such a guy. Let's see if this develops

He has savior complex, He cares too much when he does, gives too much. It is good to give, but never when it erodes you. Because then do tend to set unrealistic expectations from others, which is unfair to them, they never owed you that. Everyone has different emotional capacity. Like him getting upset with Ray, because for him he did not care as much as Sand would have wanted. He knows he is somewhat unreasonable here, but who has stopped emotions? There is thin line which I think sand has the tendency to break

He might have anger issues, yes the bat and punching Top.

Why? We don't know anything of his past or family yet. So a conjecture here.

Maybe he grew up with a single mother family(absent /dead father). He saw his mother struggle for herself and for him, so wants to do for others. She feels like good person because Sand is clearly raised well.

He might have a bad past relationship (Boeing??) who cheated with Top, so maybe he has some residual insecurity and trauma from that

Also, he feels like the case of "To save myself, I have to save others". To feel needed because he might be feel that he is not enough or could not do enough in the past, so over-compensating for it now

Other Stray thoughts

I don't really care if RaySand are endgame are now(though since it is gmmtv and they are setting them so heavily, giving them complementary names, issues, a genuine friendship, mostly redeemable issues I think they might, but that is besides the point). OF is story about problematic queers conveyed through pairs. Obviously queer people are messy, the amount of trauma they endure growing up - unable to fit in, discrimination, non-acceptance and even abuse from family and sexual abuse(yes it is more common than you think). It will fuck anyone up and without therapy, they keeping fucking other people up. So yeah, I hope Ray and Sand became that people who help each other to be better. Like how there are some people you meet and the things they do for you, help you improve yourself. I hope they have that arc.

This is till EP4, so I will probably update after a couple of episodes to see how they are doing! and if I am right on conjectures