#RamWantedToConvey

[ram-de]

Friend OST Don't Read This!

Friend-OST. Uh.

I haven't spoken to him for maybe two years ;-; We went to the same middle and high-school, although I got to properly knew you when we went to the same class in high school. It's... I don't know why I stopped chatting with you about random stuff. I liked talking with you, honestly, because I got to learn stuff I couldn't otherwise. I felt like you're one of the people that let me knew how having a friend like.

I liked walking together to school with you and have the most sometimes-normal-other-times-random talk with you. It's less embarassing that way, haha, since I'm not alone like I usually was. I admired how passionate you are, about stuff! Like your study, space stuff, and style! Like how you paid attention in taking care of hair or shoes. I didn't really notice back then, but now that I think about it, it's this sense-of-self, that you had that I also look up to.

I'm really happy that you invite me to your group for school projects! Like that one time for Arts that we need to perform a song in front of the class. Sure, being alone as an option exist, but I don't know why. You reached out to me! And asked me, you want to join us? It's Elvis Presley's Can't Help Falling in Love. You played the guitar while the other four members sang.

It's silly that I'm writing stuff that happened 3-4 years ago, I should've told you when I'm still a student, hah. Now that I let the distance took over me, it's really lonely. I wish we could've gone to the same college, stay in the same place, talk about more stuff. I don't mind depending on other person if it's you haha. I was so awkward in how to properly tell you did your best and stuff when you went to other college instead.

I don't really hang out. I don't know how, or what to do. So when that time, you asked me to since you're in the city! (The city, as in, uhh districts?) And we ended up doing Friday prayer together, when now that I think about it, I could've asked you to visit my place instead like a normal person, like a normal friend could.

I was low-key kinda jealous of you. Since despite your reservedness, you're still able to navigate well socially. It's something I haven't even gotten over until now, haha. That's why maybe I (without me realizing) also kinda mimicked how you talk, learning what to do in social situation, what to say, etc. It's really a joy to be around.

I used to be so pathetic. Staying in my seat during class breaks, doing nothing. But when I gotten along with you and the others, I felt like the class break passes so quickly! When there's no school task, we went to canteen and stuff to eat maybe. I remembered playing UNO, Ludo and other mobile boardgame to pass time. It's a simple game, but I felt like it also lets me know the people I'm playing with.

You're also the person that, if there's a swimming class, you'll go there using public transportation with me. It made me feel like I had a companion, haha, since most of us used their motorcycle. You also have one, but for some reason you didn't use them yet. To be truthful, I'm glad for that. I'm thankful for that.

It's maybe because I kinda miss you, thus, a biased, rosy retrospection, but the only thing I remembered was like the little stuff that made me happy!

I'm too much of a coward to approach you after basically, ignoring everyone including you for two whole years so. But. I'd like to at least say hi and say how I appreciate you some time.