#Rain Skyler poem

[cottont33th]

Faith Raised by Hippies

Growing up I never knew how to feel about religion

Mostly because I knew nothing but the consequences

Of dedicating oneself to something we aren’t supposed to understand I found a love for worship through something real

Nature

Because I found god in the way the sun touched my skin

And introduced feeling alive back to me

And I found Heaven with the wildlife thriving on a man-made dam When I hear god is good

There is no man to look at

Faith doesn’t need to be preached

Because it grows

Pan is alive in the trees

In this lake

In anything that eats

And Apollo keeps us alive in his harsh and burning light

I don’t want to know what happens after death

Because it’s not my job to know

And it’s not my job to know what name to call the unknown

The purpose of this life is whatever you make of it after all

Since only you can live this life

“God is good”

Why should it have to be?

Balance is a never-ending nightmare

The brutality of Pan is next to none and it’s beautiful

[teen-titans-imagines]

Tagged by @yikes–man (thanks, love ❤)

Rules are:

• Post the rules.

• Answer the questions given to you by the tagger.

• Write 11 questions of your own.

• And tag 11 people.

@yikes–man Questions

i. What’s your favourite era?

Victorian. Every. Time.

ii. Favourite historic event?

The Taking Down of the Berlin Wall.

iii. A childhood memory that you can’t forget?

When my parents had the fight that caused them to get divorced. Kinda scarring for a six year old.

iv. How do you like your coffee/tea?

I like my coffee sweet. Like, five sugars sweet lmao and very creamy. I like my tea sweet as well, and sometimes with a bit of milk or cream as well.

v. What do you think is the most romantic language?

Romanian. There’s something about it that just makes me blush. (Sebastian stan but shh lmao)

vi. Do you have any personality strengths?

Ummm. I would say I am very persevering and determined. Maybe righteous.

vii. Bad habits?

I have a bad habit of always needing attention, but because I very severe abandonment issues lmao. (I had a horrible childhood, leave me alone)

viii. What’s your most poetic description of depression?

“I never minded the rain until the rain was all there was.”

ix. Your dream date–BUT! You have to go on said date with a historical figure. Who do you go with and what is the dream date?

Hmm. A date with a historical figure? I would have to say Edgar Allen Poe. Shit, bro. My dream date would consist of us just collaborating on poems and stories.

x. How do you destress?

I don’t, usually. However, if it gets to a point that I HAVE to destress or Imma do something drastic, I usually just sit back and drink a cup of coffee or listen to music.

xi. Describe your childhood friend.

Oh god. Ok, so his name was Skylar (Skyler, I could never remember how to spell it). He was probably about 10 or 13, and I was around 4 or 5. He was such a cool person, and really caring. He didn’t mind hanging out with me because he had a little sister, and I guess because I was cool before all this bullshit called life happened. Man, he was just a badass. I really enjoyed his presence, but something happened and we drifted and then i moved and I never spoke to him again. :/

My Questions

1. Who are some of your biggest role models?

2. What does your first name mean?

3. Have you ever been in love?

4. What is your shoe size?

5. If you could live in an alternate universe, what alternate universe would you live in? (For example: Supernatural, Marvel, etc)

6. What quote do you think describes the world today the best?

7. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be and why?

8. Do you have any regrets?

9. Are you a “Glass half empty” or “glass half full” or “just a glass of water” type of person?

10. If you could talk to a dead historical figure, who would you talk to and what about?

11. Are you happy?

Tagging: anybody who sees this.

[kevinmoyer]

Heartfelt Wedding in The Redwoods :: Jen & Skyler

Photography by Chris Shum.

We have such a sweet wedding to share with you today! After a heartfelt ceremony held in the ‘fairy ring’ of ancient redwoods, these two treated guests to a fun summer camp vibe, but with an elegant, grown up twist (Archery? Live band?  Champagne bar? Yes, please!) My favorite detail has to be the heart-and-arrow escort card displays, which not only look oh so cute, but were a sweet recognition of the couple’s new shared surname… Pierce!

Jen told us she and Skyler first met when she was just 15! “We apparently circled in and out of each other’s lives at several different points before it stuck. We met each other at a high school dance, and I used to go to the coffee shop he worked at. We dated in our twenties before going our separate ways after about six months, before finally getting together nine years later!”

Did you include any traditions in your wedding? I did have something old and borrowed – I wore my mom’s veil, which we had altered to be more modern. We replaced the puffy headpiece so popular back then (!) with a comb, and used only one of the longest pieces. It happened to be edged in the exact same kind of lace as my wedding gown that I had already purchased without knowing they were the same lace! I also had something new (white sapphire earrings), and something blue (garter.)

The Ceremony

Why did you choose this location for your wedding? We both thought of marrying in the redwoods right after Skyler proposed, because of the spiritual energy that’s palpable there. Earlier that year we had driven through bigger redwoods on a roadtrip from a friend’s wedding, and loved them. We realized the redwoods north of the Bay area (Eureka/Humboldt) were too far from an airport for guests, and other areas of redwoods we liked, like those in Big Sur, were in parks where we’d have to do everything from scratch (bringing generators/chairs etc.). So that narrowed it down to a handful of venues that are already set up for weddings south of the Bay area, and closer to airports.

We took a roadtrip (it ended up being one of many, as we’re based in LA) to see different venues and YMCA Camp Campbell is by far the most incredible, perfect setting for a wedding. They could easily close it as a camp and only do weddings! They have a ring of redwoods (called a fairy ring, as redwoods grow in rings) which is idyllic for ceremonies; you can feel the energy of the root system beneath the wooden pews and altar sending information and support from tree to tree, like our families and friends supporting our union.

Your ceremony in three words. Sacred, majestic, intimate.

What was your favorite thing about your wedding ceremony? The laughter and the tears, and the amazing flowers! The flower circle at the alter was even more spectacular than anything I had seen, and even better than what I had given our florist, Nancy Liu Chin, reference to. Several of our guests posed for their own pictures there after the ceremony, because it was so gorgeous!

Who officiated your ceremony? How did you choose him/her? Wendy Brewer.

How did you go about planning your ceremony? Our officiant was amazing and had a wonderful ceremony script that was pretty much perfect when she showed it to us. Her words were honest and heartfelt. She’s a friend of ours, so we went and stayed with her and her husband for a night at their home in Santa Barbara helped write the custom pieces about redwood symbolism, the handfasting ceremony and decided to incorporate a beautiful poem by Joseph B. Strauss, The Redwoods. It was important to my husband that she would read the vows to us and we repeat them after her, because of nerves, and it was important to me that we do an ancient handfasting, as we both have British/Celtic heritage, and I felt the tradition had a lot of sacred energy.

You can see Jen & Skyler’s full wedding ceremony script right here!

Did you include any other traditions in your ceremony? As well as our handfasting, we each made a rose offering to honor our parents.

What were your vows like? They were heartfelt and worded in a  fairly modern way, such as “I will laugh with you in times of joy, and comfort you during the difficult times. I will cherish our union, and love you throughout all that life may bring us.”

You can see Jen & Skyler’s vows right here!

Is there anything else that you’d like to share about your wedding ceremony? For some reason, perhaps stemming from the rehearsal, I thought our officiant was going to ask Skyler to say his vows first. So on the day when she turned first to me and said, “Jen, do you take Skyler to be your lawfully wedded husband?” I just stared blankly at her. She gently prompted me with “you’re supposed to say yes” – and then everyone (including me) cracked up. Of course I said yes, and the ceremony continued! Our whole ceremony was quite emotional; we were both a little teary at times, and then in moments like this there were was all-around laughter, too.

Jen told us “a minute’s walk around the corner from the ceremony site is the expansive wooden lodge (great for a rain plan) with a deck for the band and a sprawling lawn where we could dine under the stars, and of course underneath those towering redwoods. At the back of the lawn up a hill the YMCA opened up archery for us and our guests during cocktail hour. It was like an English garden party with archery and cocktails, and a fun  nod to our new name, the Pierces.”

The Reception

What inspired you when you were planning your wedding? I read a million wedding magazines and got really into Pinterest – I found the whole process so fun. I understand many couples and brides get overwhelmed by the process (as I did, towards the end) but for me it was pretty much the thing I always wanted to do in my spare time. With the inspiration of the woods, I wanted bright pinks and subtle ivory to contrast with all the green and brown of the setting, and we knew the photography and videography were two of the most important elements to us, so we could enjoy the day for years to come. Every tip I ever read said invest the most in a photographer, and do not skip a videographer. That is so true because not only do we have stunning photos to treasure, but we have our vows, toasts and everyone dancing on video.

Are there any DIY details you’d like to tell us about? My mom was amazing and took care of getting all the candles that were a big part of the ceremony and reception, (some LED of course because of the woods but they looked so real and added the extra twinkle to the fairy-like venue!) Skyler and my sister Amanda made two incredible escort signs to look like archery targets, with each name on wooden dowels with fletching like an arrow. It took her weeks and she never wants to do anything remotely DIY ever again, haha!

Did you have a signature cocktail? The venue did not allow hard alcohol, which was a blessing since we got to bring in our own options. So because I used to work for a distributor that sold Gruet (a fabulous champagne out of New Mexico) we had a champagne bar with three different kinds of champagne at the reception: Rose, Blanc de Noirs, Brut and two signature champagne cocktails, Champagne Cocktail (bitters and lemon twist in brut) and Raspberry Beret (scoop of raspberry sherbet in rose). We also had poured rose passed before the ceremony when guests arrived and mingled to the classical guitar because we wanted everyone to be relaxed and happy not anxious to hit the bar so they could really soak up the ceremony instead.

How would you describe your reception? It was so fun! Little did I know what a hit the Kissing Menu would be. (I had found a wonderful etsy shop, Bliss Paper Boutique, that had PDFs in the same fonts and style for all the paper and signage needed for the wedding, which gave our paper goods a really nice, cohesive look.  And she made these fun ‘menus’ explaining whole tables had to do certain things in order to get us to kiss.) On alternating place settings each guest had either the Kissing Menu or a ‘thank you for joining us’ card, and throughout dinner almost all tables joined in. So people stood up and sang a song for us to kiss to, or did an outrageous kiss for us to emulate… my husband’s stepdad had everyone at the parent table show us what a kiss in a marriage over forty years looked like (my parents), thirty years (our officiant and her husband), almost twenty-five years (he and Skyler’s mom), then he asked us to show everyone what a thirty minute kiss looked like!

What was your first dance song? Father/daughter or mother/son dance? Nobody Does It Better by Carly Simon was our first dance, and Beyond the Sea by Robbie Williams was our joint parent dance. Skyler and I only took two lessons the week before the wedding (my parents too) and we were trying to get the steps just right with the dip at the right time in the music that I wasn’t soaking it in as much as I would have liked. So that I’d advise against. Either take dance lessons long before so you really know it, or just go with the flow and do what comes naturally to you as a couple.

If you had it to do over again, is there anything you would do differently? I would have had all the last-minute details done  (or laid out closer to being done) so that the week before the wedding I could have focused on being more centered, journaling about the transition, just soaking it in. Since I had worked on the wedding for a year and a half, I underestimated that there would be so many last minute details. I wished I would have pretended the wedding was the week before it really was and cleared my schedule of clients, gotten all the paper finished, seating charts, organized transport for guests and all our bits and pieces… I hated that instead of joining family at my aunt’s the week before for cards, I was maniacally printing out place settings, and that Skyler spent much of the rehearsal dinner wandering around the room trying to arrange transportation for everyone to the venue the next day. There was a lot of last minute stress that could have been avoided… but despite that it was still all was so brilliant and magical!

What type of cake or dessert did you serve? We did a four tiered cake with florals wrapped around, that was devils food cake with chocolate ganache and champagne tinted frosting with ferns piped in. It was inspired by a cake I had seen that looked like a fairy woodland creation and made by The Buttery. We wanted the chocolate cake instead of traditional white, because after dinner with a glass of red wine who doesn’t want a little rich chocolate?!

Jen says “Lucky Devils is the most amazing band! They work with pro musicians up and down the California coast to assemble anything from a three to twelve piece band to exactly fit your needs. They are so talented and thorough, asking ahead of time genres, songs and artists you love (and hate!) It was like a private concert for our guests.”

The post Heartfelt Wedding in The Redwoods :: Jen & Skyler appeared first on Snippet & Ink.

[cottont33th]

11/22/23

Walk

The rush of cars that sound like tea kettles

The whistling birds

And sweet-smelling waste bins

I feel sorry for the dirt I kicked out of anger.

I used to think I deserved to hold it.

The ground deserves it less.

Cold bites

And my eardrums itch

And I couldn’t be lighter on these darkening streets

I need that small, rapid dread

From the shapes of large animals

That almost always turn out to be deer

And the winding gravel roads

That aren’t the same as the ones I went down.

The silence outdoors is deafening

Birds

Cars

Dogs

Children

Crickets cicadas grasshoppers flies

Give me everything.

So I can stop thinking about more.

And learn not to miss what was never mine;

And find my way home in the dark of the half-mooned night.

[cottont33th]

3/4/24

A Footnote of Personal Hope

Driving with the moonroof down while rain pours in

I am thrilled to imagine a strangers face again

Wearing my best friends slip dress

And finally,

not caring anymore.

[cottont33th]

2/7/24

Black Wool

It’s snowing on Wolf Mountain

And I am able to finally admit

Just how much I hate the coat you gave me

So in my own personal dramatized fit

I took it off and gave it away

Because I couldn’t stand to wear it anymore

Because I hated it

And couldn’t understand why I still had it

Beyond the guilt

That coat was too good for me

And I am too good to keep something like it.

[cottont33th]

2/22/24 

Baby Skin

All at once it seems 

All the saturation in the world is gone 

Besides the grass on this dam. 

The air in my home has gone stale 

My clothes feel like a costume 

My skin temporary 

So much change just around the corner 

None of this will be real for much longer. 

But every year without fail 

This dam remains 

Saturated 

Forever greening 

And perfect. 

So many times 

I’ve cried here 

Wrote here 

Felt hopeless here 

Knew things would always be better 

Here. 

There will never be another greening dam. 

[cottont33th]

2/13/23 

Roadkill

Tonight I feel so human 

In the most animal way possible 

Gripping at my steering wheel 

And letting myself dip back into all the feelings 

I promised myself I wouldn’t have anymore. 

And today I didn’t recognize the face 

Of the mother of this girl I used to be friends with 

I think it maybe broke something in me 

Just a little bit more 

So I’m singing as loud as I can 

My throat bleeding and the lyrics all wrong 

Today Big Thief tomorrow Atwater 

I own every one of these songs

And I can’t help but feel freshly wounded every time. 

[cottont33th]

11/2/23

Burning

I think your voice might be my favorite sound

You have no idea how beautiful you are, do you? 

Your delicate face and your eyes that turn green in the summer

I’ve never felt more alive than those first days just talking to you. 

No one’s been so soft to me 

And no one makes me feel like I’m missing pieces of my mind like you.

That stolen moment alone with you 

I let myself get too close and yet I was so so careful 

Gods, why did you hold me so gently? 

Why did you intertwine your hand with mine 

Your gentle sleeping breath on the back of my neck

I’d never felt so loved 

And now I’ve started hating the weekends again 

There’s something so mortifying 

About you knowing how earnestly I wrote you all those birthday cards

You know now the weight of how I look at you 

How much I meant it when I told you I loved you 

The high of emotion I felt from just one kiss 

And I feel unclean. 

I’m sick of burying my mouth in the inside of my wrist 

How can you look me in the eye and tell me–

I’ve seemed unhappy recently?

I’ve never felt so loved and I don’t think I feel loved now.

I think I feel like just a warm body now.

Everything is different now yet too normal 

And I’m not one to handle change.

There was a moment a while back last spring 

We hugged for a minute and laughed 

Because we would see each other the next day. 

And now I sit here holding onto that memory like crumpled paper 

I was okay before 

I’ve loved you for so long the fleeting daydreams became enough 

And I was okay without a label 

But you want to pursue other people

And I feel guilty for not wanting you to. 

And still, no one had ever been so sweet to me

When you kissed my forehead I glowed. 

“Dirty little secret” 

I was always told I was more sensitive than most people

I think it might just kill me. 

[cottont33th]

[cottont33th]

1/27/24

January Spring

There’s something different about today

Still somber but clearer

Like the air became easier to breathe

And I don’t resent how warm January is anymore

Because today

In this morning’s cool breeze and hoards of tiny yelling birds

I know who loves me

And who was just keeping me around

And I am looking myself in the dusty old mirror

And I smile too

And don’t feel lonely anymore.

[cottont33th]

12/29/23

I guess the thing that confuses me most

In this pathetic and daydreaming state

Is what you meant when you told me

You didn’t want to hurt me

By not being emotionally close

Because you already were

And you’re not now.

And I deserve to sit shoulder to shoulder

With someone who enjoys the hushed whispers

And exchanged hand squeezes

As much as I do.

[cottont33th]

1/7/24

Indra

And even as a new adult

I still want to take your hand

And run across the playground with you

After all this time

I show the new people I meet

The things you drew

The beautiful things

You’ve made for me

How proud I feel

“My

“Best Friend

“Made this for me”

[cottont33th]

1/3/24

Brothers

I remember being little

And wishing for a sister

Instead of a brother.

I thought if we were sisters

That we would be closer

And maybe you would be nicer

Dear brother

Nothing makes me happier

Than play fighting in the grocery store isle

As mom snaps at us

Scolding her boys

Embarrassed by our antics

Shins bruised and faces cracking with laughter

I’ll never be a son to our mother

But I cherish being your brother.

[cottont33th]

Warm Bodies

Old dog on New Year’s Eve

Come here and feel how warm these old bones are

I’m sorry I’ll stop feeling just for you

Let this old dog run again

Let me dry these cold knees of mine

And my fingers are too stiff to give you my time anymore

In this new year

This old dog can’t learn a damn thing.

[cottont33th]

Spectrum 

I think I need a haircut.

There comes a time

When a boy must accept 

That maybe it’s okay to be boring. 

The screaming voice in the back of his head 

The one that tells him he’s different from other people 

Is neither an ally nor evil 

Simply fact that’s frightening to see the first time

Small towns have nothing to do

And I like it that way. 

Lights hurt 

And voices are claws 

And the biting cold winds

Love me more than I could ever know

And suddenly 

Through sharp inhaling of freezing air 

For the first time in two months 

I am breathing again.