#RL is cockblocking us

[mossmx]

I don't think the distinction between erotic/pornographic makes sense, but me personally I like to make porn, that's just what I love to draw 🤔 saying it's erotic bla bla feels fake 🤣 nah I love drawing porn

it is what it is

[darkisrising]

6 , 7, 8 👀👀👀

6. do you have any kind of consistent writing schedule or just hoping for the best? I write consistently but I try not to get mad at myself if life happens and I don't get a chance to. These days I try to write anywhere between 200-500 words a day. It used to be 2k a day but for reasons unknown I haven't been able to do that lately (hence the slow down in fic updates). At first I felt really panicked about it, but the longer it went on and I realized that it wasn't getting better, the more I've made my peace with it.

7. tell us about the plot of the first fanfic you ever wrote

HA! Haha. Ha. Well, back in the days before ao3, we had to email writers to tell them how much we loved their fic. I did that and started a correspondence with a writer that was LEAGUES better than me and for some unknown reason was willing to look at my first attempt at a fic. She tried to gently tell me it was a bad idea, but I blazed on ahead with posting, and wouldn't you know it? I got all kinds of people mad at me.

Basically it was a Smallville fic that opens with Lex dead of apparent suicide via overdose? I think? The fic is explaining how things got to that point, basically Clark is now Superman and hates him (I think? I can't remember) and Lex reverts to club kid ways... I think, again, it's been a while. All I know is people apparently expected Lex to come back to life in the fic and he never did and they were big mad about it. The writer friend TRIED to explain that no one likes character death fic but I was like "no, no, this is gonna be different and great, just watch." It... was not great. Which is not to say that I don’t think character death can be done well, but this was very much not that, lolol. Oh, well. That’s how we learn: through failure.

8. what’s your relationship with constructive criticism and feedback like? do you seek it out? how well do you take it? I like con crit, but I think a lot of people---in rl and in fandom--- don't know how to give it so I'm wary of taking it in spaces that aren't set up for it. I also believe that it works better and is more useful if the writer is mentally prepared for it. Because it *is* a very intimate thing to be sharing something you've written, and though I firmly believe everyone can improve---and if someone is interested in getting better they need to listen to crit--- if you’re not expecting it there’s always the risk of it hitting in the insecurities. So, yeah, my rules for it are that I need to be prepared for it and usually I need to have asked for it first. I think in general it works best if you go into it asking your reader to give you feedback on a specific issue that you’re looking for feedback on so that its more productive than “i really liked it/ i didn’t like it” because that stuff is so subjective it’s not all that useful as a place to springboard from. Compliment sandwich is always a good way to go when giving it--- compliment, critique, compliment--- just so the writer doesn’t spiral into a den of self pity, which is always a productivity cockblock.

I also, personally, have a rule that when receiving it I can’t “explain myself”. Like if someone says something is a problem it is SO tempting to explain away the issue in great detail to PROVE them wrong, but that just becomes defensive and time consuming. I try (try, don’t always succeed because *taking* critique is just as much an art as giving it) to listen to it as the impressions of someone who doesn’t live in my head and cant see all the brilliance that lives in my brain (ha) and then parse through that what I’m hoping their impressions/understand of the material to be and if they went off course somehow then that’s on me and I need to go back in and fix it. No need to tell them that they didn’t ACTUALLY get that that was supposed to xyz, because lol I can’t do that for every reader I encounter. BUT if someone sees a problem with a fic, I totally don’t mind if they reach out and say “Hey, do you mind if I give you some feedback on something that didn’t work” (or something) so that I can mentally prepare for it and make sure I’m in the right emotional place to be told about all my faults, lol Thanks for playing!!!! 💜 * Ask game

[dreamtiwasanarchitect]

For the writing ask, n18 please. Because as you said, it’s Monday. ❤️

Ah, the DVD commentary for the scene/line I'm most proud of. There's some recency bias at play, I'm sure, but ch6 of "down for you always" comes to mind—under the cut for spoilers and also general length!

So. @bewires does a really beautiful job of writing about feelings and putting a lot of emotion in characters' inner monologues without making it drag on or taking away from the action. I tend to be big on "show not tell" for a couple of reasons: 1) in my RL/work writing, writing tight is really important; 2) I don't personally love reading stuff that's intensely introspective on the characters' part; and 3) I'm allergic to feelings generally. But writing with @bewires has been a really great way to challenge myself to bring more emotion into action and I think the end result of my writing is so much better for it.

In ch6 of "down for you always," Nicky and Joe hit the club after having a really extensive and lovely conversation about Joe's death and Nicky's life before he died. After dancing to A$AP Rocky, Joe has a bit of an epiphany:

A crystal-clear thought breaks through the tipsy haze that’s already settled over Joe’s brain: He could do forever with Nicky.

It’ll take awhile to really process the enormity of Nicky’s life, everything he’s done, the good and the bad, but Nicky’s shown him all of it.

And Joe doesn’t want him any less.

He knows who Nicky was—a man who hated people like Joe, but hated himself even more. He knows who Nicky is now—a man who’s spent lifetime after lifetime trying to make up for the person he used to be.

He’s more than that, though, Joe thinks. Nicky’s not just some archetypal antihero on an endless quest for redemption. He’s a real person, a person who will tell an embarrassing story about himself to make someone else feel better and explains clitic pronouns with endless patience, a person who gets up early to do nice things for other people and laughs at references he doesn’t totally get in the name of being a good sport.

He’s the best person Joe’s ever met.

Joe’s thirsted after guys before. He’s had crushes. Those feelings were always temporary, gone when the sun came up, or when things stopped being fun and easy. He’s only fallen asleep holding Nicky the last two nights, and he’s prepared to do anything to do that every night for the foreseeable future.

Whatever he feels for Nicky…

It’s permanent.

There are a lot of things about living basically forever that Joe’s not sure about. How he feels about Nicky isn’t one of them.

The above bit of Joe's POV was added after most of the chapter was written, and writing it did not come easy, because, y'know, feelings. Reflection. Yada yada. But it was crucial to explain Joe's thought process in the scene at the end of the chapter:

Nicky’s arm hooks around his waist. “I’ve got you,” he says, and when Joe turns his face, their noses brush. Nicky sucks in a stuttering breath and licks his lips, and Joe can feel what’s about to happen.

Nicky’s going to kiss him.

He can imagine it—the press of Nicky’s soft lips, the glide of his wet tongue, the taste of liquor in his mouth. It’ll probably be messy, a little sloppy, because he can tell Nicky’s at least a little drunk too, accent thicker and movements a little less precise. There will be hands, reaching out for whatever they can find, clutched in hair and tugging at clothes. The kiss will have a bit of a soft, fuzzy quality to it, because Joe’s had a lot of shots, and everything is kind of blurred at the edges, a brownout state he’s very familiar with.

When Joe remembers his first kiss with Nicky, he wants everything to be sharp, in focus, crystal clear.

Nicky’s nose touches Joe’s again as he tilts his head.

“Um,” Joe says loudly. “I’m kinda fucked up.” He stares at a point over Nicky’s shoulder, already regretting his self-cockblock.

Throughout the entire fic, Joe and Nicky thirst after each other, but where the conflict comes in is that Nicky knows he can't just have a casual thing with Joe, since he's joined the immortal gang, and he doesn't want to have just a casual thing with Joe. And before they could actually fuck, it felt really important that Joe felt the same so they were emotionally equally invested each other and on the same page. This is where it really clicked for Joe, and I'm really pleased with how it turned out (and how it set us up to let them fuck in the next chapter, obv).

[beteranoob]

KWSBW 36

Finished reading Koi wo shiranai bokutachi wa 36. The chapter started off where chapter 35 ended. 

Highlights for me:

- This chapter should be called ‘How to push away Eiji 101’ lol

- On start of chapter, Eiji realizing that the kiss is the same scenario where he kissed Izumi using his instincts.

- We can really tell that Koharu just wanna get out of there to avoid Eiji

- Eiji getting jealous when Koharu mentions Taka’s name

- But yeah I pity Eiji here like he is being cockblocked by Koharu

- I can certainly feel Eiji’s confusion on his feelings. He can’t point out exactly what he wants to say. 

- So in his confusion, he just blurted out one of the things he want to say to her which is Koharu is cute. Which is also a good surprise attack....maybe I should use this also as a surprise attack in rl

- Koharu, caught off guard on that. Funny thing is, it took her a while to realize what he said. You can tell also that she is suppressing her emotions before she covers her face.

- Woohoo Koharu being vulnerable is good to see. I laughed out loud at this part. It doesnt help that Eiji thought that he hit a jackpot that Koharu’s reacted strongly on what he said. I like that Eiji easily read her or noticed her flustered behavior

- So yeah Koharu walks away again to hide her emotions. Please don’t run away anymore Koharu.

- But oh boy, we can see that she really wants Eiji. She wants to be spoiled by him. But yeah seeing Ikezawa greatly convinced her that she should not be loving Eiji :(

- Maaaannn, Naohiko is such a brother. Thanks to him Eiji realized what feelings he is experiencing for Koharu right now and his feelings for her back then.

- The Summer festival where it all started... I always thought that was the pinnacle moment of Eiji and Koharu. The spark that has been made there is goes way beyond deeper than Eiji’s feelings about Nao and Izumi at that time.

- I hope somebody assumes/notice sooner that Koharu is inlove with Eiji! Please anyone... before she destroys herself

- Back to Koharu. She is now determined to shut down her feelings for Eiji I think. This made Koharu now do drastic measures.. even considering on dating Sugi? Did i read that right?

- Shiosaki please stay by her side always. Koharu certainly needs someone right now :(

- Ok another way to shut her feelings for Eiji is to help Ikezawa to be loved by Eiji. Seeking help from Taichi well is a good way to it and I laughed at how Ikezawa called it as strategy meeting when she accidentally overheard it

-  Koharu, convincing Ikezawa is a Gold moment. It’s like she is convincing herself...

- Rejoice EijixIkezawa shippers. Koharu is confirmed to be a shipper of this ship too. She will see to it that this ship will be sailed... until Eiji will jump off the ship.

- Taichi please do move now. Don’t be a martyr and Don’t be an Eiji!. Or else you will regret not doing your best on loving Ikezawa.

--End of highlights--

I understand Koharu but yeah I wanna see how far she can go. Now that she is taking drastic measures like I mentioned on my review of chapter 34. I felt like all the feelings that she is suppressing until now will gonna burst out one day and I hope Eiji will be there for her when that time comes.

[thedogsled]

Don’t you think Dean was a little creepy in this episode? With wooing Daphne, I mean when Dean grabbed the ghost from his thigh he was going towards Daphne technically!

Bear with me here, because I’m going to ‘In Defense of Dean Winchester’ this a little bit. Honestly, people have been back and forth over the subject for weeks, but I’ve not really discussed it much except to write the post where I pointed out just how curvy SPN’s Daphne was. That didn’t change at all in the final cut, and if anything I was even more surprised, and if anything I was sitting there going ‘right, cause it’s the 70s, of course she’s not wearing a bra.’

This was not the Daphne of our childhoods. This was Male Fantasy ‘I can get two shotguns!’ Daphne. If we take the meta reading that Scooby was a projection of Dean’s psyche, it’s very little surprise that this is what you get as a result. Dean preserves the spirit of the Scooby Gang ultimately, but he almost watches his childhood destroyed by hunting real ghosts in the process. It is a powerful meta episode on performing Dean, a powerful episode regarding childhood trauma (even Sam’s flies out of the box and tries to nail him), and a powerful episode episode about toxic masculinity–ultimately all Dean’s skeevy - and I will agree they’re skeevy - efforts get him is groping a ghost. 

But that’s where the performance takes him. The moment he drops it, he stops trying to pursue Daphne too. He uses what he knows about Scooby Doo (Fred’s plans always backfire), and comes up with a plan B (Dean taking the role of Fred himself). And at the end Sam gets the kiss, and Dean strikes out with everyone, including Cas.

I could probably stop there, but I’ve not answered the question quite the way I want to, so I’m going to move onto the part that I think is somewhat harder to answer (without pissing some people off). It’s about the fact that fandom finds Dean’s age and treatment of women creepy in general, and just. Okay. Have you ever met a teenage boy? So Dean watches this cartoon when he’s a kid, and he finds Daphne hot (I mean, she’s designed to be hot, bi woman can confirm). This was the eighties. While Sam was outright pinning posters of real older women over his bed (you can imagine whatever you want about that), Dean was quietly lusting over a cartoon character. You carry those teen crushes with you. I’m sure if I happened to fall into Gundam Wing universe the Misha Collins version of Duo Maxwell would sweep me off my feet, because it’s my imagination and I can do whatever the fuck I like.

So Daph is curvy. Daph is the personification of that fantasty crystalized, permanent in Dean’s psyche, from when he was a teenager with a budding libido. She’s his Jessica Rabbit, and when she takes form, she is everything he imagined she’d be–as well as untouchable. Hilariously, and maybe somewhat sadly, Dean becomes the creepy dude trying for a kiss who never gets one. It’s like he feels old. And let’s face it, there’s probably some residual protectivism going on there, because Daphne is sweet and pure, even if she is still a sex object in his mind, and so ultimately Dean doesn’t get with her. And yes, I used the phrase ‘sex object’, because there’s no doubt there’s objectification involved (even if it’s just the animators living their own fantasy through the late night TV slot). The scene with Daphne and Velma settling down to bed together was not in the original episode, Daphne in her tiny nightgown stretching out over the bed–Dean’s objectification? The cartoonists? Ours?

So look, I will agree Dean is creepy, but he’s a 40 year old man living out his 15 year old fantasy, I think it’s fair to give him a break. And at the end of the day he is self aware creepy, he cockblocks himself. I know it is difficult, especially as a woman, not to conflate his toxic behavior alongside real life actual creepers (because god knows this is the society we live in and we need to keep changing that) but cartoon Dean just isn’t the problem here. It would be very different if we were talking about Dean and a rl woman, unless he got his ass handed to him for the behavior. I would be right there outraged with you. It’s not. This is Dean, his teenage fantasy, and his cartoonish self well and truly striking out. 

I suggest if this topic really does worry you that you bury yourself in the meta about what this episode was really saying about Dean, because it is going to take some of the edge off. And try not to think of her as 17 because, among other things, Daphne is an immortal vampire and just doesn’t know it yet. 

nb: Incidentally, I’ve noticed the exact age people are proposing the Scooby Gang are in these anonymous asks seems to constantly creep downward, so like. Guys. Daphne was played by Sarah Michelle Gellar in the films, okay, and she was over 30 at the time, and Lisa Simpson has been 10 for like. 8 million years, but that doesn’t stop people drawing sexy fanart of her. And Dean was a kid and she the older woman when they first “met” if you want to get real serious about it. The GA just aren’t going to have a problem with making Daph a bit sexy, because they were Dean too, lusting after unattainable curvy redheads who hung out with talking dogs, or making up stories about Daph and Velma sharing one bed. This is Dean’s self insert fanfiction, and I am a little bit sad for what it says about him tbh. Wishing he could be cool and hang out with the Scoobs and drag race the Mystery Machine, and he can’t even win there. So…give the guy a break.

[delicioussshame]

So late, rl obliges, but have a second fic for AoKuro Week that’s a direct sequel to the artists AU.

Who hands out their contact info on a piece of paper anymore? When did Aomine-kun even write it?

Those are the questions stopping Tetsuya from actually putting the words of that damned song on paper. He just can’t seem to focus. His mind keeps wandering back to Aomine-kun.

Who gave him his phone number. That Tetsuya really needs to call. Or at least write to him. He can’t let that good an opportunity slip by.

It’s just… hard to do. What if it turns out they have nothing in common? Or that he’s the subject of a bet between all those stupidly attractive people? Kagami-kun wouldn’t do that to him, but maybe he doesn’t know.

Later. He’ll call later.

After he’s written those pesky lyrics.

Maybe.

_________

“So, how did it go?”

“I’m not talking to you anymore.”

Kagami-kun winces. “That bad?”

“No, but-“

He visibly lightens up. Tetsuya curses himself for his inability to stay mad at his overgrown puppy. “So it worked out! I’ll have to tell Momoi.”

It’s his turn to wince. “Please don’t. Anyway, nothing happened. The reason I’m not talking to you is because you threw me at the mercy of a bunch of attractive and loquacious people to make a spectacle of myself, and you didn’t even bother to tell me beforehand.”

“But you wouldn’t have come if I did!”

“That’s my point!” So. much. exasperation.

Now Kagami-kun is pouting. Tetsuya needs better friends. “You need more friends.”

…Damn him. “I suppose you’re right about that. Maybe they wouldn’t trick me into meeting strangers.”

“See! I’m right. Plus, you might get a boyfriend out of it.”

Tetsuya really, really needs new friends. “All he did was give me his phone number, it’s not-“

“Ha! I knew it! I’m definitely going to have to call Momoi!”

“Really, please don’t. Let me deal with this. The last thing I need is more people getting involved.”

Kagami-kun grimaces. “You don’t understand. She’ll be on my case if she finds out I left her out of the loop.”

“It’s not her business.”

Kagami-kun shrugs. “With Aomine and Momoi, it’s always each other’s business. You have to deal with it or it won’t work out between you two.”

Fine… Everyone has to make sacrifices. “I’ll keep you updated then, but please, not just yet.” There is nothing between them at the moment. At least give him a chance before it all goes to hell.

Kagami-kun really has no business looking this annoyed. “Fine. I’m giving you a week.”

“Kagami-kun!”

“A week. Do something about Aomine before then, or I’m enlisting Momoi’s help and that’s final.”

Urgh. “Fine.”

“Good.”

Tetsuya crosses his arms. “I’m still not talking to you.”

“I can see that.”

_________

So. He has to do something about Aomine or risk involvement by a stranger and his ex-best friend.

He just has no idea why he’d call.

He still needs to finish that song.

Let’s work on that instead.

…

No. He has to stop postponing or he’ll never get in touch Aomine-kun and he’ll spend the rest of his life regretting missing his chance at what might be the love of his life.

…He’s an artist. He’s allowed to be dramatic.

_________

In the end, he just writes. I have a show next weekend. Do you want to come?

He doesn’t even have to wait long. Sure. When/where is it?

Tetsuya sends him the details. It’s not much, just a few songs at a hole-in-the-wall. He knows he doesn’t play in the same field as Aomine-kun or even Kagami-kun. There’s no point in pretending otherwise.

Maybe, someday.

_________

Tetsuya has heard some people aren’t nervous before their public presentations.

Tetsuya hates those people.

Not only he’s singing to a relatively unfamiliar crowd that isn’t here to see him, he’s trying out the new song.

There’s also the fact that Aomine-kun is there, of course. That isn’t helping. He would hate to make a fool of himself for his almost-first impression.

Enough. Time to perform.

Also time not to look at that corner of the bar where Aomine-kun is sitting, ostensibly alone but already getting accosted by patrons.

He can’t let it bother him. Focus.

_________

He gets off the stage with decent applause. He didn’t crash and burn. At this point, this is all he could have asked for.

If he had dared to ask for another thing, it would have been for that buxom brunette sitting on the barstool adjacent to Aomine-kun to stop leaning toward him, presenting him with what must be a wonderful view of her cleavage.

Aomine-kun visibly turns her away and tunes out whatever she’s answering the moment he spots Tetsuya approaching, so maybe he didn’t even need the extra help.

He’s so lucky.

“Hey.”

“Hello.”

Aomine-kun slides a beer toward him. “Good work out there.”

Tetsuya loves low lighting. “Thank you.”

“I’ve never really done that, you know, the low-key entertainment thing? I grew up in the biz, so we either rented a theater or we were invited to perform. It must be hard.”

Tetsuya shrugs. “You must have done some type of self-promotion too, when you eloped.”

Aomine-kun has a nice laugh.

That throat seems endless when he throws his head back.

“Eloped! I didn’t elope. Just imagining myself like that with Satsuki is too much. To go back to your questions, we took some time off to adjust. We cut off a lot of people, so we had to reconnect, and we changed genre on top of it. Satsuki took care of all of that. It’s more of her thing. I just showed and acted like she told me to.”

“I can’t imagine you obediently listen to Momoi-san.”

“Normally you’d be right, but I didn’t have much choice at the time. It was that or starve, and I need to eat a lot.”

Tetsuya allows his eyes to travel all over Aomine-kun's tall, strong body. "I can see that."

"Are you calling me fat?"

Tetsuya splutters. As is there was an ounce of fat everywhere on that body. "Of course not!"

He grins. "Thought so. All that training has to be worth something. I can't have you thinking I'm not fit."

Tetsuya isn't sure if he wants to change the subject or stay on that topic forever. "I would never. I'm not blind."

“Obviously not. You wouldn’t be interested in me if you were. It’s not like you know much more about me.”

What? Tetsuya blinks, caught off guard by Aomine-kun’s matter-of-fact’s tone.  Surely he knows how attractive he is. Body image issues are dime a dozen in the dance world, but this isn’t about that? He thinks? “Well, you’re right in that I don’t, but neither do you. Why are you here if this is all you think of me?” He’s not even his physical equal. Aomine-kun could do much, much better on this side.

“I just thought your voice was pretty.”

Tetsuya  can’t help himself. He snorts. “That’s not much better.”

“Yes, well, it’s the truth. I’m honest enough to admit I don’t have much of a social circle outside of other dancers, which are universally, without even one exception, a terrible idea. Before the date would be over I’d have gotten three different messages about my outfit, my choice of venue and my lackluster conversation skills. I’m just gonna pass on that.”

“Is this the moment where I admit Kagami-kun has threatened to involve your… Momoi-san if I didn’t get in touch with you fast enough?”

“Fuck! See! This is what I meant! You can’t even date quietly when surrounded by this bunch of nosy assholes.”

Tetsuya doesn’t reply. He wouldn’t enjoy that kind of intrusion into his private life either, but it still seems sort of… nice, to have so many care about your well-being.

“Anyway. You’re just different from the people I hang out with. You look… nice and polite. I’m not used to that. Maybe it would be a good change of pace. But seriously, what about you? Why pick me instead of Kagami? You guys are already friends.”

What’s with these people and their obsession with his relationship with Kagami-kun? They saw them together once! How much did he talk about Tetsuya? “I love Kagami-kun from the bottom of my heart, but I would never date him. I will wish the best of luck to the lucky lady. “

So maybe he overdid it. Whoever will get Kagami-kun’s heart will indeed be lucky. Once he’s earned, Kagami-kun never lets go.

But enough about the man who keeps cockblocking him in absentia. Now, to get back at the subject at hand, how do you explain I think it was love at first sight and it was so obvious that Kagami-kun decided to set us up without sounding like a creepy stalker? “Since we’re talking about Kagami-kun, he wouldn’t have arranged for us to meet if you were terrible, so I know you must be a somewhat decent human being. And, as you implied, a blind man could see that you’re a talented dancer. That takes skill, but also work ethics and passion. Just having seen you on the stage tells me a lot about you already.” He takes a moment to clear his thoughts while taking a sip of his beer. “Aren’t we meeting to get to know each other anyway?”

“Well, okay. And how’s that working out for you? Figured me out already?”

“Of course not. You don’t know a person after only one date, after all. I’ll need more time. How about next weekend?” All that while keeping his most nonchalant tone. He’s a singer. He can control his voice. Aomine-kun can’t hear the beating of his heart. He doesn’t have to hear the tremors in his voice instead.

He gets the most heart-stopping smile in return. “Sure. I’ll take you somewhere as long as you don’t talk to Kagami about it.”

“Deal.

 Bonus

“Dai-chan smiled! He smiled! Those two were made for each other, I knew it!!”

“I wasn’t arguing with you. I’m the one who got them to meet, remember?”

“And you did such a fine job too, Kagamin! I’m so proud! Now I’ll have nephews that can both sing and dance!”

“…You do realise that’s not how it works, right?”

“They can teach their adopted kids! And if they don’t, I will.”

“…Since we can agree they don’t need rescuing from each other, maybe we should go and leave them alone.”

“Kagamiiiiiiin.”

“Yeah, we’re going before they spot us.”

“Buuuuuuut…”

“We’re going. Now.”

“Spoilsport.”

[221aubrina]

“I have a few questions to all MFMM fic writers...” said @whopooh...

@whopooh, in her past posts, has asked a series of questions to fanfic readers – what your favorite fics are & why. This time round, she posed a number of questions to the authors. Here's my attempt at answering.

MFMM single handedly brought me back into fan fic writing. I hadn't written anything in ages - since I was heart deep in love with the TV series "Beauty & the Beast" with Ron Perlman & Linda Hamilton. I had dabbled a bit previously with some poetry & short bits for Classic Star Trek, ST: TNG, and Remington Steele. With all of those fandoms, I only did bits & pieces here & there. Nothing anywhere near what it is for me w/MFMM. My most recent foray back into writing anything related to a show I was head over heels for was a series of poems I started in the BBC Sherlock universe. I discovered AO3 through that fandom, but dove well & fully down the rabbit hole with no hope of surfacing when I encountered MFMM – the show & the fan fic.

1) Pick one fic that you’ve written and talk about what makes it important to you.

"Skipping Stones on Still Water"  - is significant to me for many reasons.  

1) It was my 1st time writing a trope fic.  

2) It was my 2nd multi chapter fic.  

3) It's currently the longest fic I've written.  

4) Up to that point, it was the story I did the most extensive research/rewatching for in order to incorporate the events of my fic into the events of particular episodes – to keep them within canon.

5) It was the 2nd time I'd incorporated experiences in my own life into a fic. (Write what you know?) The feeling that I had when I met one of my former roommates – as if I had been holding my breath for my entire life & suddenly could breathe clearly. When I took that clear & cleansing breath, the thought that ran through my head was, "Ahh... there you are. You finally showed up." It was a feeling of familiarity and connection - that we had known each other in a past life. Ironically, we met in the cafeteria at work & he commented on (& had read) the book I had on my tray - Many Lives, Many Masters by Brian L. Weiss, MD – which is about past lives. (If you haven't read it, I highly recommend it.)

6) I think it was one that stretched me as a writer in regards to character development – imagining what Phryne, Jack & Janey were like as children, and what their childhood experiences might reflect in their adult lives. Also, with what little we know of Phryne & Jack's time in the War, speculating a scenario where they might have come in contact, then incorporating that into their 'present' personalities.  

The plot point of the names - never revealing Phryne's to Jack (being a unique name, I doubt he'd ever forget it), and the variations of Jack's in each of the segments taking place in the past was also very important in order for them to not realize &/or connect their past experiences with each other in the present. The item that connected past with present was something that I thought might be a nice physical thing to connect memories of their past.  

This past year, cleaning out my childhood home for sale brought me in contact with things I hadn't seen or thought of in years, & the flood of memories that came with seeing them after all those years gave me the idea. It also made me think of things I had as child that made me wonder what had happened to them. I figured Jack & Phryne were just like the rest of us in that manner.

7) This was the fic that I think had the most seriousness to it (gravitas?). I tried to paint a picture with words to give the reader a movie to play in their mind. I was bowled over by the beautiful comments I received. So far, I think it's the fic that I am most proud of. It's also my most bookmarked fic, giving me a big squee whenever I need a lift. It definitely has a special place in my heart.  

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2) Pick one of your older fics and say what about it you like most, and what you would do differently now.

It's not an older fic, but “The Case of the Missing Moll“ is my 1st attempt at a case fiction. It's still in progress... I popped out & posted the 1st two chapters in order to get in under the trope deadline. But... I've either got too many things/ideas running around my head, the feeling like I've painted myself into a corner, or the characters have gone off on their own adventures and forgotten to let me know what's going on. The thing I'd do differently would be to have the whole fiction written (or at least almost done) before posting. I know when I'm reading a fic that I love that is a multi-chapter fic, I'm on pins & needles in anticipation for the next chapter & even one day between posting of chapters can be interminable. Consider this an apology to everyone who's read this fic and a nod that I'm endeavoring to get that one underway asap.

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3) Pick a fic and say something about why you wrote it – if there was a specific inspiration, perhaps from RL, fandom life, or a theme or a trope you felt needed to be written in a new way.

"Handy Man" was written for the August Bonus Trope ("I really don't think that's going to fit."

"Of course it will. Just push.") and very late for the (at that point closed) March Trope Collection "Miscommunication."  

Most entries of the tropes are geared towards Phrack (as well they should, as it's the main reason we love MFMM). I thought I'd like to do something different - try to incorporate some of the other characters who aren't the main focus to see if I could capture their voices. The trope of miscommunication certainly lends itself to the humorous, and I thought who better to inject some humor & wild misinterpretation into a tale but Bert and Aunt Prudence – two seemingly vastly different personalities. I find their interactions in the show are always interesting & seeing how their relationship has progressed over time inspired me to see what might happen. Cec's sweet nature seemed to be the perfect & unwitting foil to it all.  

After "Cocaine Blues" there's only a few mentions of Alice & her marriage to Cec, including the episode (the title escapes me at the moment) where Bert gets pissed at Cec, making assumptions about Cec wanting to become a farmer. I wondered what Alice was up to at that point & where she might be working, as I don't think anything specific was mentioned. Since Alice was a maid in Lydia Andrews' home & Aunt Prudence had been going through a slew of housekeepers (eg: "Murder in the Dark") ending, at that point, with Mrs. Truebody, I figured it would be a logical progression of things – especially with Phryne 'lending her staff' to Aunt P for Guy & Isabella's party to have Alice be hired on as Aunt P's new housekeeper. In "Death & Hysteria" you can see a progression in the growth of the relationship between Bert & Aunt P – that there is a gruff fondness between the two of them. Both of them have preconceived, well-seated notions about the social classes, have a gruff exterior, have a secret marshmallow center that they try not to expose to the public, and have begun to soften towards each other.

With all the sexually suggestive dialog that is out there between Phrack, I thought I might see if I could create a scenario which, if overheard by someone, but not seen, could be interpreted as sexually connotative, when in fact was the farthest from it. You know – the classic TV misunderstanding/miscommunication/misconstruing trope (a la "Three's Company") that borders on slapstick.

I think a lot of us in the MFMM fandom have a soft spot for Bert & Aunt P (despite Aunt P's super power of cockblocking) and I wanted to see if I could spotlight these 'secondary' characters & do them justice. Humor tends to be my strong point in writing, and judging by the comments I got, it seems I accomplished my goal.  

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4) Is there something you wrote in a fic that was read differently than you intended, and that made you see your own fic in another light?

"Damned Cravats!"  

OracleofDoom left the following comments.  

***

OracleofDoom:  

This is super cute!  

But I may be over-thinking this. Why exactly would Mac be leaving her cravats around Miss Fisher's house? I can think of a reason, but... maybe I'm reading too much into it. *blush*

Me:

My thought was after a long day & Mac is over for drinks and conversation (nagging, inveigling, prodding, prying, exchanging the latest gossip from the hospital board meeting) and after about the 3rd or 4th drink, she decides that her cravat is a little too cloying & decides to take it off & toss it where ever she is - in the parlor on the chaise or chair, in the window seat, in Phryne's boudoir (I can imagine Mac propped up on the bed, absent-mindedly paging through a book or newspaper & them talking while Phryne is in the tub)…

That's my kinda head canon. I don't see them as being intimately involved, but rather the very best of friends who have been through thick and thin, through the ringer, and to hell & back - like sisters, forged in fire.

OracleofDoom:

I think my head canon is similar to yours. I was just tickled by the little hint of ambiguity.  

***

After reading & commenting, it made me look at that fic in another light – that there was a hint of ambiguity – which was something I hadn't intended or planned in the writing of it, but after reading it again, could see the potential for a bit of ambiguity. We all have our own life experiences & way of looking at things & bring that to the shows we love & the characters in those shows. It's always enlightening & refreshing to have someone leave a comment that makes you step out of the bubble of your own experiences, & the thoughts your head from the point you wrote the fic & see something that you may not have realized is/could be there, or come to it at a completely different angle that you hadn't even entertained while writing it.

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5) Is there a fic by another writer that has inspired you?

I have more than 100 fics bookmarked on AO3 (mostly MFMM). That might give you an indication of what stories I love & what ones are inspiring to me. Pretty much any & all the Phrack smut I've read is inspiring. I've only managed to write one E rated fic... "Pas de Deux." At the time I wrote this, the fics I had been reading & loved were rife with well praised Phrack banter. As that was one of the big draws of their interaction that I very much enjoy, I initially had a thought to use fencing terms as a springboard for their banter – in which they oft times seem to engage, parry, foil & (ahem) thrust.  

That tack quickly went by the wayside when I thought about another aspect of their relationship that drew me in – their seeming to metaphorically dance around (& in one instance, literally with) each other. Most everything I'd written had been G or occasionally T rated – especially since I tend to write more humor than anything else – with the odd bit of URST/ST thrown in for good measure.

At that point, not having written anything M rated, let alone E, I thought that I might make an attempt at an E fic. (I have hopes of one day writing some good smut like the cool kids do – after all one must have aspirations & goals.) It definitely took me out of my comfort zone. I'm more than comfortable reading smut, but writing... that's another thing entirely. As I wasn't quite comfortable or completely at ease with the terminology & phraseology, I tried (taking baby steps?) dipping my toes in the water by couching the sexual aspects of the fic into dance terms. I hedged a bit by hiding behind the incorporation of balletic terms – also, I thought that incorporating dance moves/terms might be a different or unique way to approach it.  

M & E rated fics do statistically tend to garner the lion's share of hits & kudos. And nothing gives an author more heart eyes than high hit counts, lots of kudos & loads of comments (well... I know this is very true for me). Needless to say, this one has the highest hit count of all my fics. It got some lovely comments but it’s very low on the kudos & comments. It's probably the one fic that I'm still the most insecure about & on the fence as to whether I was happy with the result... or not. Jury’s still out. One of these days I may hope to follow in the footsteps of the E fic writers I so admire - @fire_sign23 (fire_sign), @omgimsarahtoo (sarahtoo), @ollyjayonline (ollyjay), @inzannatea (zanna23), @ladyroxie, @RakishAngel (afterdinnerminx), @rositalg to name only a few.

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All of my fics are on AO3 under 221A_brina, & I'm just starting to cross post on ff.net (221Aubrina).

So there you have it. Sliding this in just in time for the deadline. Hope you enjoyed the peek behind the curtain into the bizarre world of my grey matter. I've really enjoyed all the other author answers I've read so far. Thanks @whoopooh for giving the authors an opportunity for the challenge to take a look at ourselves in the mirror in regards to the fics we've written. It's been a great exercise, & hopefully one that will help me see what I write in an all new light.

Nov. 15, 2017

[yessoupy]

the indians are gonna beat the athletics’ consecutive win streak rip 2002 a’s

the streak

and then rl

i wasn’t a fan until 2006 but i watch the clips and i see mark ellis there ... he was on the team while i was a fan and he got traded to the rockies because he just had to (they traded him ON ROOT BEER FLOAT DAY took him away WHILE HE WAS SERVING ROOT BEER FLOATS BEFORE THE GAME) and billy like teared up at the presser? billy beane actually cried? over a trade? which if you’ve seen moneyball you wouldn’t believe it but it happened. 

ellie got to the dodgers and the dodgers came to houston back when the astros were still in the NL and the fucking mascot cockblocked me like two days in a row and on the third day they cleared the 1st two rows of fans during warmups and as ellie jogged back to the line i held up my a’s hat and he nodded and came right over and i thanked him for all his years in oakland and he smiled and said you’re welcome and i just love him so much. he doesn’t sign much because he deals with social anxiety. then all these dodgers fans were clamoring around us and he was signing baseballs and stuff and i just stood there thinking “i miss you so much.”

ANYWAY. i got a twitter account to follow barry zito and then six years later flew to oakland to watch him pitch against huddy and it’s september so i’m fittingly NOSTALGIC for old teams.

how can you not be romantic about baseball?

[a-night-on-polaris]

Well. I already finished Hide’s part. Sadly, I must say that, yes, I don’t like it (and of course I dont want the ep). 

The common part was pretty funny for me at least. Hideyoshi just went with them because Mc asked for him (so really, I dont catch that thing about being a cockblocker on purpose). Right, he jokes about being a 3rd wheel but just bc he knows about Inu's feelings and thinks she also feels something. (Maybe he really want to go bc he too have feelings for MC but he doesnt do anything about that). I dont see any other intention about that, tbh. Another thing: Is nothing wrong about go somewhere with male FRIENDS and even sleep with them (I sleeped with friends many times and nothing happened. I mean, sleep with someone doesnt mean that you has to have sex) Ok, in this case, the 'friend' and the 'other guy' have < feelings > for the MC. So, that means sex? nope, of course (even if the feelings were reciprocal). They still can sleep together. Ok, that on rl. But, the thing is that here, the whole situation has nothing of innocence or friendship because it's part of an otome and the purpose is 'romance', so is presented as an excuse for 'desires unleashed & opportunities’, and this is clear in everyone's comments before the trip. It was obvious (sadly) that they are going to make the characters didnt have self-control. 

Yes, I say 'romance' and not romance. All of us knows that the thing of forcing someone has nothing to do with romance. Many already talked about this and I totally agree with everything they said, so I won't repeat it.

Out of it, that thing about tell someone that you love him/her for get something (fuck or whatever) is pretty sick to me. If is love, better, is love, and if its just one night is ok, but don’t say to me another shit. That manipulative and trickster thing is horrible.

Anyway, I upload this image, because all this is a constant contradiction. I dont read yet Hideyoshi's MS but I completed all his events and I always thought that he is as it reads there, always kind and considerate with MC's feelings and not a guy who presses, deceives and forces her. 

At this moment I feel very sorry for the character and for the role they gave him in this event.

P.S. If Voltage wants to sell these things (which shouldnt) at least need to give a warning about what kind of sensitive content possesses.

[ihagdcbf]

August 5 2019

i need advice. HARD was fun but what happened at Hard with - was a lot. The short version is that if i had rolled she would’ve ravebaed me. idk what to do. idk if i like her more now and idk about my feelings for x cause she’s just on ghost mode and she replies dry and doesn’t give the same energy as she used to. idk lol. anyway the story w -. it happened again where we were stuck side by side when no one else was there but when people were there she never initiated shit w me. I mean the only thing of much importance was during RL. She wanted to platonically grind on me but i denied her. I knew she was rolling and i knew my dick would get hard so i rejected her basically. i grinded on her tho so i guess but i knew exactly what she meant. i wasn’t rolling like i was at countdown so she couldn’t grind on me like she did then cause my dick was fucking soft. she started grinding on another girl in the group while holding onto me/doing it in front of me. but here’s the thing tho she kept holding onto to me from time to time by the arm, waist, back, etc. and we basically sang i wanna know to each other before a and b cockblocked us basically. i wasn’t rolling but i knew her rolling ass was having a moment. after that was when i started grinding on her but then she did it again where she just held me close and just held me even when i tried pushing away a lil bit so i just held her tighter. she brought back the memory of when i grabbed her ass at nocturnal. she turned around and i grabbed both of her cheeks for a while and shook them and fuck dude i fucking groped her dog and felt what i felt the year before. but she let me. idk. then there were a few times where i was just dancin and jumping where she would jump on my back and hold me again and i’d just grab her ass and she’d let me. then hard ended and everyone left us and it was just me her and her brother, but for a good period of time we just held each other. first like a long hug then my hand was on her waist and her arm around me and her head on my shoulder. a side hug but with a longer embrace where we fucking just held tight to each other. then i grabbed her ass again but i think i did it slyly enough so zir wouldn’t notice lol. We also met up with some dude she was friends with and said “He’s cute” and nudged me for a reply where I said “nice” then she just stopped talking for a good while and I broke the silence with “Where’d you meet him” and I forgot that convo so fast LOL. Then we met up with everybody and kept our distance from each other again. fast forward to the car rideeeee. i queued up a lot of songs. she sang most of them w me. from fucking rex orange county to heebiejeebies by amine. and most songs in between. i’m fucking retarded for thinking we were singing to each other but it was for the whole fucking car ride, and she sang the songs w girl parts while i sang the guy part like i hate u i love u, the way, my favorite part, etc lol i can’t remember all the songs rn. i’m fucking gay and overthinking my libra ass doesn’t mean shit honestly. but idk how to feel. i’m conflicted cause she was on E but, she popped late tho so how does that explain everything before? she has a high tolerance and she said she wasn’t rolling but still. it explains why she wanted to initiate grinding on me when i didn’t and her letting me grope her again? but how about before she was rolling and shit omg. OH and the kicker is she was talking about how she unintentionally friendzones guys to zir and fucking up because of it then her looking at me after she sad that fucking line and holy fuck i’m overthinking so fucking much what the fuck does that mean. IDK HOW TO FEEL CAUSE x IS BOUTTA BE A LOST CAUSE AND IDK ABOUT - ANYMORE BUT SHE DOES SHIT LIKE THIS AND HOLYYYYY FUCKKKKKK. Idk bro. I know I still like her. I know I’m using x as a way to get over her and that’s not working. And especially after today just solidifies my attraction(?) to -. SHE MY BEST FRIEND AND LIKE I KIND WANNA BE HER BEST FRIEND BAYBEEEEEE KINDA WANNA BE HER BEST FRIEND but I am but the feeling of attraction to her is unrequitedddddddd