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daryl-dixon-daydreams · 2 years

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Words: 4,690 Pairing: Daryl Dixon x Female!Reader Reader pronouns: she/her Era: S10, The Reapers Warnings: language, violence, gore, angst A/N: This is Part 3 of a commissioned miniseries! Thank you to @ankhmutes for their generous support! Summary: Daryl and Y/N have more time to talk and the group heads back home.

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Part 2

The sun wasn’t yet breaking over the horizon when Daryl awoke, though a pink glow was beginning in the distance. He was a little stiff from laying on his thin bedroll, but surprised to find he had managed to get a good amount of sleep. He felt far more at peace than he could remember in a very long time even though his mind was still whirring with unanswered questions. He glanced back and could barely make out the prone shapes of you and DJ in the darkness of the shipping container. He got up as silently as he could and stepped out into the twilight. Kelly was on watch and Daryl climbed up to stand beside her on another steel container.

“Hey,” he greeted her, speaking it and signing with his right hand. “Did you get some sleep?”

“A little,” she said, nodding, turning her eyes back out to the night. “I took over watch so Elijah could get some.”

Daryl nodded and gazed out over the stillness, chewing on his bottom lip for a moment. Kelly tapped his arm lightly with hers.

“Soooo… Y/N?” she asked, spelling your name.

Daryl ducked his head, but his lips curved in a small smile.

“How long has it been?” she asked.

Daryl looked back up at her and rubbed a hand over the back of his neck. “Ten years,” he said.

A struck look of understanding hit Kelly’s face. “You were… together?” she signed.

Daryl avoided her eyes a little bashfully but nodded. “Yeah. We were.”

She tapped his arm so he’d look at her again. “The little boy?” she signed. “Yours?”

Daryl nodded again.

“Holy shit,” Kelly said out loud, smiling at him. She happily grabbed his shoulder and gave him a reassuring look. “I’ve seen you with Judith and RJ. He’s lucky to have you as family. And Y/N? Now?”

Daryl looked anxious and shrugged. “I dunno,” he drawled, his heart speeding up even as he thought of you. “Ten years is a long time.”

She gave him another reassuring smile and then some movement below caught both their eyes. “I think she’s looking for you,” Kelly signed. You’d stepped out of the shipping container, your arms wrapped around yourself, and were glancing around.

Daryl gave Kelly a tight smile and climbed down, heading your way. “Hey,” he greeted you, shoving his hands into his back pockets. You smiled at him and he felt another jolt of electricity. How was it possible that you were even more beautiful now than he remembered?

“I was wondering where you went,” you said, tucking a strand of your hair back behind your ear. “Everything okay?”

“Just checking in with Kelly on watch,” he said. “All good. Still quiet out there.”

There was a silence that felt a little tense before both of you said “Did you get some sleep?” at the exact same time. Daryl ducked his head and let out a small laugh and your smile widened.

“Um—you first,” you said.

“Yeah. Ya know, I actually did. Wasn’t sure it was gonna happen but I managed a few hours,” he drawled.

You nodded. “Good. Same. First good night of sleep I’ve had in—I don’t even know how long,” you said. A shiver from the chill morning air suddenly zipped up your back. You should have pulled your jacket back on before stepping out.

Daryl’s brow furrowed immediately and he quickly moved around you to grab a blanket off his bedroll just inside the door of the shipping container. He held it out for you and you gratefully accepted it, wrapping it over your shoulders.

“Thanks,” you said softly. You gave him a long look, studying the scars you could see on his face that he didn’t have before and the years he carried now. Your heart still rushed at the sight of him.

“DJ’s still sleepin’?” Daryl asked.

You nodded. “Yeah. He somehow always seems to sleep just fine. At least much better than I do,” you said.

Daryl nodded. “Nah, it makes sense. He was born into this. S’all he knows. As long as he’s got ya by his side, everything is probably alright in his world. Means yer doin’ yer job right.”

Daryl watched a shadow pass over your face. “He’s had to deal with plenty of me being away, especially lately.”

Daryl gave you a questioning look but you shrugged it off. “Ah... never mind,” you said, giving him a tight smile. “Plenty of time for that later.” You adjusted the blanket around your shoulders and glanced back up at him and caught his blue eyes. They were fixed on you steadily. There was a stack of railroad ties nearby and you tilted your head toward it. “Want to sit down?”

Daryl nodded and followed you over, taking a seat beside you but being sure to leave a buffer of space. His eyes were searching your face when next you looked at him. “Go ahead and ask me,” you said suddenly, your eyes soft and perceptive.

Daryl gulped and looked down at his boots. They were scuffed with dark earth still from all the mad running in the forest the day before. He felt like his heart was in his throat. “Ask ya what?”

You shrugged and turned slightly more toward him. “Whatever it is on your mind. We might as well get started catching up, right?”

Daryl nervously licked his lips. He wasn’t going to ask you whatever was on his mind… because a lot of it he was still navigating himself and some of it was—well, it was too soon. But you were right, he had a lot of questions and he was sure you did too. “I guess—might as well start at the beginnin’. Atlanta. What happened after—after the walkers?” Just the thought of it dropped his heart from his throat down into the pit of his stomach.

You pulled in a deep breath. You could still see it all so clearly in your mind’s eye, as if it had just happened moments before. It was like it had been crystallized into glass. It was almost tangible. You could smell the moist rotting flesh. You could see the vaguely yellow or pink tinge to the whites of their eyes. You could hear the gnashing and mawing and growling. “I—I ran.” Daryl watched your brow furrow and cast a shadow over your eyes again. “I just ran, until I couldn’t anymore. And then I got into this building but the dead—they were all around it like a flood…” You ducked your eyes. “I was trapped in there for a day and a half before something must have led them away or they just lost interest. I got out. I tried to get back to where I had lost you…” Your fingers fiddled with a worn spot on the edge of Daryl’s blanket. “But I’d just run wildly to escape and I didn’t know where I was. I’d run so far and I just—I didn’t know.” You paused and pulled in another deep breath and let it out slowly. “I was in pretty bad shape by then. I hadn’t been able to find any water so I went back into this high rise and just started looking for supplies, thinking I’d find something to eat and get some water and then get back to where we’d left the car somehow… I knew you’d go back there to look—”

“I did.”

You nodded. “Yeah… well, I never made it back. I’m sure you knew that. I don’t know if it was just having spent so much energy and being dehydrated or if it was the pregnancy but—I must have passed out.” The shadow that veiled your face seemed to deepen. “That could have been it right there… Some walker could have wandered into me and that would have been it. But instead, when I woke up, I was in this little dingy apartment. This young woman had found me and somehow brought me back to her place. She wasn’t that much younger than I was at the time and it was just her and her mom in this little one-bedroom place, holed up since the fall. They were surviving by scavenging supplies from the rest of the building and hadn’t even really gone down to the street. Of course, I wanted to leave as soon as I had any strength back but then I was getting sick all the time from the pregnancy. Baby DJ didn’t like most canned food at the time and unfortunately that was mainly what we had,” you said with a dry laugh, shaking your head. “And the longer I was sick, the more I knew that I wasn’t going to be able to find you. When I finally was able to keep some food down, I started heading out into the city but it was useless—I was just wandering aimlessly, running the risk of meeting some serious trouble.” Your hand went to your stomach as if you were remembering what it was like to be alone and pregnant with DJ...

Daryl’s expression was soft and sad as you met his eyes again. “‘M so sorry,” he said.

You gave him a sad smile. “It’s not your fault,” you replied gently. “But I knew eventually that I couldn’t stay in the city any longer. Maria and her mother were kind to me… but I worried about what was going to happen to them in the long run. Supplies were getting more and more scarce and—I was amazed they’d managed to last two years the way they had but—” you paused and shook your head, a look of distress tightening your features briefly. “I tried to convince them to leave with me, but they wouldn’t. So, finally I just left. I found a working car and packed it with as many supplies as I could find and I headed out.” Your gaze fell down toward your hands again on the edge of the blanket over your shoulders. A canyon appeared between your brows as you remembered having to make that horrible decision. “That was where I felt like a line had been drawn… until then I could tell myself that maybe you were still in the city, still looking for me, or maybe you’d come back with everyone and you’d gotten Beth and you were just waiting for me to show up at the car or—I don’t know. Then I kept having this dream.” The look in your eyes grew far away. You seemed to shrink back into some other deep pool. “I could see you and hear you. You kept calling my name, but there was this glass between us and you couldn’t see me. I’d yell and pound on it but you couldn’t hear me… It was horrible. I’d wake up crying. When I left Atlanta, I knew that I could go out and try and look for you, but there was little chance of us ever finding each other again.” You blinked away the moisture in your eyes and finally lifted your gaze back to Daryl. There was pain so explicitly written across your face that Daryl’s chest ached and all he wanted was to wrap his arms around you.

“Mighta been only a little chance,” Daryl drawled. “But it was big enough.”

You gave him another sad smile. “Wish it hadn’t taken so long.” You sighed heavily again. “God, I really missed you… I can’t even tell you how much. And DJ has missed having his dad around for almost a decade. I’m so sorry you’ve missed out on so many milestones with him.”

Daryl nodded and felt a lump of emotion tighten in his throat. “S’like ya said though. Ain’t yer fault. And we found each other now.”

“Yeah… still is real shitty though that we had to go through that,” you said with a wry laugh. Daryl nodded his agreement.

“What happened after ya got outta the city?” he pressed you. He felt the need to know everything that had happened since you’d been parted. Nothing, no little hurt, no little joy, was too small, but it was a lot of ground to cover and for now he’d settle for a summary. The details would have to come over time, building up a complete timeline of your two lives, split apart.

“I was alone for a while. Getting more and more pregnant and absolutely terrified about that,” you said with another dry smile. “I was moving around a lot, always looking for some sign of you. Every arrow or bolt I found I studied, hoping that it was one of yours. But it never was and I was still alone. And then all of a sudden, I just started finding people, you know? Or they were finding me. Some bad and some good… but eventually I had this—this found family, just like you have. The membership changed over time as we lost some and gained others, but there was a core group of us who stayed together for a long time, even if we did have to keep moving. We’d find somewhere and try to put down roots and something would happen—it would fall, sometimes to people and sometimes to the dead. Sometimes to completely stupid shit that used to be more benign but now is a catastrophe—severe weather or fires or whatever. We’d move again… Eventually, we stumbled onto this gated community near the coast and I just knew it was where we were meant to be. It was somewhere we could make safe and actually turn into a home. It had strong walls. It’d be safe for DJ to grow up and learn. I was so tired from all the running by that point… From what Maggie has told me, it wasn’t that different from what you found, from Alexandria. Of course, the pressing problem was that it was filled with the dead when we got there.”

It wasn’t lost on Daryl that you were speaking of this home in the past tense and he understood from the little Maggie had said that it fell to the living, not the dead, this time.

“But we managed it,” you said with a smile. “We drew them out and led them away and killed the rest. We set up homes and grew our own food. We had a governing council and school for the kids. It was still hard but it was good. It worked, for a long time. And then—” Here, your voice failed and face fell again and Daryl thought he caught a glimpse of tears in your eyes.

“Hey—” He was brave enough to touch you lightly on the shoulder. “We ain’t gotta talk about that yet,” Daryl said. “If ya ain’t ready—it can wait. Really, if it’s too much, all this can wait.”

You nodded. “Yeah. Maybe once I’ve had more time to process everything that’s just happened in the last couple days and have a little more distance from it.” Daryl shifted and nervously scratched at a non-existent itch on his head.

“What are—I mean…” Fuck, he didn’t know how to ask this. “Uhh—what ‘bout now?”

You gave him a questioning look and he seemed to be struggling to find the right words. You waited patiently.

Daryl rubbed a hand over the back of his neck anxiously. “I just mean—what are yer plans… I guess, is what ‘m tryin’ to ask…” he trailed off and you could see that he was nervous.

You realized he was trying to ask you where you were going next. “Daryl—” Your angled your body more to face his and the blanket he’d given you slipped from your left shoulder. Your knee almost bumped his. “My plan is to take DJ and go wherever you’re going. If you’ll have us?”

A wash of relief spread from the top of Daryl’s head all the way down through his toes. The sensation was like a subtly electric tingling, a cooling wave, and he felt his muscles relinquish their tight grip on his bones.

You were looking at him now with one brow quirked up. “Did you really think, having just found you, that I’d take DJ and go somewhere you aren’t?”

Daryl let out a gruff laugh and shook his head. “I dunno what to think… I still ain’t sure yer sittin’ right in front of me, or that any of this is fuckin’ real…”

He started briefly as your hand found his and rested over the top of it. You gave it a gentle squeeze. He gulped and met your eyes again. “It’s real. I promise,” you said softly.

Daryl nudged his nose up at you in a nod and tried to suppress the tears that were starting to blur his vision. He blinked them away. “To answer yer question… course that’s what I want. Come to Alexandria. Please,” he said. “It’s still home, though it’s a bit worse for wear righ’ now, but—we always bring it back.” Daryl noticed then that the blanket had slipped down and he reached over and pulled it back up around you. His hands rested lightly on your shoulders after he replaced it and there was some thickness in the atmosphere that materialized between you. You were looking right back at him with bright eyes and he felt as if he was on the brink of something… something much bigger than himself.

“Mom?”

Both of you startled a little and you shot to your feet. DJ was standing in the doorway of the shipping container, rubbing sleep from his eyes.

“Yeah, honey. Right here,” you said, smiling at him. You could still feel where Daryl’s hands had been on your shoulders almost as if they were still there. The blanket he’d just pulled back around you was now pooled on the railroad tie where you’d been sitting. You grabbed it and handed it back to Daryl. “Thanks,” you said, quite sure your cheeks were flushing a little pink. The dimness of the morning light may have saved you from him seeing that blush. You rested your hand lightly on his shoulder as you moved around him and went to DJ in the doorway. Daryl watched you disappear back inside with a sigh.

He nestled the edge of his thumbnail between his teeth and bit down hard, chewing it anxiously as his mind again whirred. He realized that it had quieted while you were here.

“Hey.” Maggie’s voice. She had a knowing smile on her face.

Daryl straightened up. “Hey.”

“Everythin’ alright?” she asked, pacing closer.

A dry laugh escaped Daryl and he paused for a moment thoughtfully. “Yeah… Fuck yeah.” Maggie laughed despite all the loss she’d suffered in the last few days. He stood and Maggie thought it looked like some flame had been kindled in him that she hadn’t seen since he’d lost you so long ago. _ _ _ _ _ _

The journey back to Alexandria on foot was long but blessedly uneventful. Daryl stuck closely beside you and DJ and before long the two of them were talking. DJ had started it. Daryl felt him looking up in his direction earnestly and glanced over. Daryl gave him a tight smile as his heart started to race with nerves.

“How heavy is your crossbow?” DJ asked him.

Daryl slung it off his shoulder. “Ain’t heavy at all. S’built to be light. S’only five and a half pounds. Wanna see?”

DJ considered him for a moment and then nodded. Daryl held it out to him and DJ held out his own little recurve bow, which Daryl took in return. Although it was light, the crossbow was a little unwieldy in DJ’s small arms, but he looked up at Daryl and grinned. Daryl felt a wash of some unexplainable feeling. You were watching the whole interaction with a blossoming bloom of warmth in your chest.

Daryl inspected DJ’s bow closely, testing the draw length and smoothing his hands over the wood. “This is a good bow,” he said, admiring the glossy red wood that made up the limbs and the riser.

“Mom made it for me,” DJ said.

Daryl smiled and glanced over at you briefly before looking back at him and holding it out. “I thought she might’a.” He held DJ’s bow out to him again and took his crossbow, slinging it over his shoulder in a well-practiced motion that was mainly muscle memory. “Ya know, yer mom is pretty good at just about everythin’ she does.”

“I know that,” DJ said in response.

“Well, did ya know there’s only one thing I’ve ever seen her completely fail at?”

“Excuse me?” you interrupted, laughing.

DJ looked between you and Daryl. “What’s that?”

“Snipe huntin’,” he drawled, shooting you an amused glance. You laughed heartily and then shot him a look.

“Daryl, you better just be quiet over there,” you said through your laughter. DJ was looking between you and him.

“Snipe?” he asked.

“Yep,” Daryl said with a nod. “They’re real rare. Only way to hunt ‘em is to go out in the woods when there’s a full moon. And then ya gotta call ‘em out.”

“How do you do that?” DJ asked eagerly. You couldn’t stop smiling to yourself and Daryl stole another glance at you, just to see your lips curved happily.

“Ya gotta be real quiet. Find someplace to hide. And then ya use the one essential thing for snipe huntin’… a spoon,” he said seriously.

“A spoon?!” DJ repeated shooting a confused look at you that drew a full laugh from your chest.

“Yep, a spoon!” Daryl said again. “I thought ya taught him how to hunt?” Daryl asked you, smirking, his blue eyes filled with so much light it almost brought tears to yours.

You laughed again. “I guess I forgot a few things.”

“What’s the spoon for?” DJ asked.

“Ya use it to catch the light of the moon. They’re attracted to shiny stuff, snipe. It’ll bring ‘em right in, every time.”

DJ looked back at you again, perplexed. “I’ve never even heard of snipe,” he said.

You brushed your fingers through his hair. “They’re very rare. You’re better off spending your time in the woods hunting something else.” You shot another look at Daryl and shook your head, a subtle smile still on your face. DJ ran ahead to catch up to Hershel and Maggie and you laughed again before catching Daryl’s blue eyes. “If he goes missing from his bed during the next full moon, I know who to blame,” you said.

“He might be too smart to fall for it,” he said.

“Hey!” You playfully hit him on the arm. “Are you calling me gullible? First off, that was a really long time ago. Second, there is an actual bird that people hunt called a snipe! I thought you were really teaching me something!” Daryl let out a gruff laugh.

“Yeah, but ya shoulda known when I gave ya the spoon…”

“Whatever… you ass,” you said. “We both know that whole thing was just a ploy to get me alone.” You shot him sideways glance and Daryl felt a bolt of electricity jump up his back.

He shook his hair from out of his eyes and ducked his head. “It might’a been…” he admitted. “S’good to see ya smile,” he said suddenly. “I mean, it’s just good to see ya at all… but even better to see ya smile.” His heart was racing again.

You nodded. “It feels good to. Haven’t had much occasion to lately. Though DJ manages to pull them out of me most days.” Daryl hummed a noise of acknowledgment and glanced up ahead to where DJ and Hershel were talking animatedly.

“We’re almost there. We’ll be behind some safer walls soon,” he said.

It wasn’t long before the group came within sight of Alexandria. DJ returned to your side as you stopped and took it in for a moment. Daryl immediately noticed the busy activity of people around one side where a section of the wall was down. You shot an anxious look over at Daryl.

“C’mon,” he murmured. “S’alrigh’.”

Maggie paused and waited for you to catch up. She gave you a tight smile which you returned.

“You ready for this?” she asked you. “There’ll be a few familiar faces and a lot of questions. And a lot of new faces too.”

You pulled in a deep breath and nodded, glancing over at Daryl again. “Yeah. Ready.” You grabbed DJ’s hand.

As you all walked up, the first person you recognized was Carol. She was helping near the wall and her eyes went to Daryl first and then to you beside him. The support she’d been holding slipped from her hands and clattered on the ground. “Oh my God…” She was grinning as she ran over to meet you and Maggie. There were tears brimming in her pale blue eyes. “Oh my God!”

You laughed as she grabbed you into a tight hug and then pulled back to look at your face, clasping it between her hands. “I—I can’t believe this!” she said.

“Me either,” you replied. “It’s so good to see you.” Now Carol’s eyes went to DJ beside you and she gave you a stunned and questioning look, her eyes going wide. All you managed was a nod. Carol dropped down to one knee so she was at his eye level.

“And who might you be?” Carol asked him.

“DJ,” he said, sticking out a hand to her. She smiled warmly at it and grabbed it in her, giving it a hearty shake.

“Nice to meet you, DJ. I’m Carol,” she said. “You can call me Aunt Carol if you want.” He grinned at her.

“He’s heard some stories about you,” you said.

“Well, I should hope so!” she said, standing up. Next, she pulled Maggie into a hug and looked tearily at Hershel, then finally she met Daryl’s eyes, shooting him a look of disbelief.

“The hell happened to the wall?” Daryl drawled.

Carol’s face fell. “Parting gift from the Whisperers,” Carol explained. He nodded and chewed on his bottom lip, glancing back again at the gaping hole.

“Alrigh’… I’mma get everybody settled,” Daryl drawled. “S’been a long couple of days.”

“Okay,” Carol nodded. She gave your arm a friendly squeeze as you moved past her with DJ. “Daryl, hold on one second—” You and DJ waited a short distance away. “Please tell me you aren’t going to stick them in some random empty apartment or house,” she said, her brow furrowed.

He stared back at her and then shifted anxiously. “Uhh—I hadn’t even gotten that far… I was just tryin’ to get us here.” Just then, there was a familiar bark and Daryl looked up to see Dog tearing toward him. Judith and RJ were running behind. “I’ll—I’ll figure it out,” he said hurriedly. He turned his attention back to the newcomers. “Hey! Dog!” Daryl bent down and the Malinois stopped just short of bowling him over, licking his face and wagging his tail furiously.

“Friend of yours?” you asked, smiling down at him.

Daryl scratched behind Dog’s ears and just then had an upsetting realization—shit. Leah.

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