#RHAKHFDKGJLKDSGJLKDSGJLKDGJ bye
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sometimes i wanna go on t but what if i do and i cant sing all i wanted anymore
#im constantly battling with gender identity and how much of it is just a product of the patriarchy#i am much more at peace with my gender right now than i was when i was like 14 but i still think about it sometimes#i remember thinking how much of my gender dysphoria is intertwined with internalized racism and fatphobia bc none of these are seperate#bc what was more important to me?#anyways in a music scene (metal/etc) full of like men. i def tend to take all the high parts and wear skirts on stage and yk what my band#usually looks the most interesting#but idk idk ! i know these arent /girl/ traits i just mean#rahh whatever shut up im done cliffhanger its ending here bye#im just a performer by heart. i am always performing. ive been a performer my entire life#identity wise but also literally ive been doing performing arts my entire life#i cant disreard it to find my /true self/ yk. im not faking it. its still me i#RHAKHFDKGJLKDSGJLKDSGJLKDGJ bye#i need. to be able to sing paramore. or else im nothing.#<-- guy who worked themself into a spiral cuz they were doing vocal warmups to the last riot live video
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