#REGARDLESS I need to find some way to lessen the blow. preserve My reputation just in case | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

equalperson · 3 days ago

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so I impulsively entered an online secret santa earlier this month, because I wanted to maximize the amount of gifts I'd get (I already get a ton IRL) and knew that flattering both My gifter and giftee would almost definitely result in praise for Myself (or at least a quietly maintained reputation of kindness), but SURPRISE SURPRISE I've spent years on crip time and that didn't suddenly change. so I had until christmas to submit it and I JUST finished it on christmas eve.

but who cares. like I said, I don't care about being "productive" or "upstanding" or the like, so submitting work last minute isn't inherently a problem for Me (glances at the pile of months-old, willfully ignored schoolwork in My room).

the problem, however, is that I spent all of this time--thus building up the public expectation that it'd be great--and the final product basically looks like this:

#personal #I swear I believe everything I do is great (which I'm sure I'm right about because everyone else agrees with Me)#but visual art is the one thing I'm self-conscious about #imagine waiting all month for a gift and the person keeps going 'I'm working on it!! I'm working hard!! I'm almost done!!'#and it comes out as an off-model drawing of your second-favorite character with no background and unrealistic shading #TBF My own secret santa's work was sorta wonky too but I actually really appreciated it for the heart and effort #so maybe I'm just being too self-critical. if an entitled bitch of a narc can appreciate subpar work a 'normal' person can too #REGARDLESS I need to find some way to lessen the blow. preserve My reputation just in case #I don't want to go too far into pity-farming like 'oh I'm sorry for sucking I'm malnourished'#so perhaps just citing some vague difficulties or a generic 'sorryyy I've never drawn him before' (which is true) would do the trick #I just need to find a way to make sure I'm not seen as totally fucking incompetent here

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