#RED ROLLING AROUND IN HER BED BYE AND MAKING SOUNDS TOO FJKDNK

[erineverly]

“Right? I feel the same way. The other day, we were watching cartoons in the living room and he fell asleep so I carried him to his bed, and he just molded into me like a koala bear, and it hit me out of nowhere… How lucky I am to have him, how lucky we are,” she corrects herself, glancing up at the white ceiling as she does her best to refrain from getting emotional. “I still replay it in my head from time to time, and it’s crazy just how many things went wrong and we still got a tiny, but overall healthy baby. It really was a miracle.” She has to speak a little louder now that the water’s running, but if she looks to the side, she can still see Axl and offers him a warm smile. A silent thank you for giving her this sweet miracle boy. “You’re welcome. I know that this isn’t how we envisioned the future of our family, and I know that you often make a lot of sacrifices for both of them, and it can’t be easy, but yeah… You’re doing a great job. My dad was nothing like this. He never made an effort to be present in our lives. What I’m trying to say is that I see how hard you’re trying to be there for Sebastian whenever he needs you, and I appreciate it.” Her heart feels heavy for a reason that she can’t even begin to explain and her eyes well up with fresh tears, so she quickly averts her gaze and focuses on the task at hand. “Thank you, Axl.” For the invitation, even if she’s not sure whether she can accept it. Her heart is anything but prepared for what might await her there. “I was thinking maybe I could run him a bath while you’re in Malibu? You know, not to waste time? Bath-time is always a whole ordeal with this child,” she admits with a small smile, keeping on this cheerful, playful facade, but on the inside she does feel silly for hiding behind her son instead of speaking openly about her fears. “Besides, I wouldn’t want to disturb Dylan’s routine or something. This woman that he barely knows suddenly shows up at his house? Sounds like a recipe for disaster.” She shrugs, avoiding looking at the singer as she picks up his T-shirt and puts it in the sink. She dips the fabric in cold water, goosebumps dotting her forearms as her fingers sink under the surface with it. “Yeah, I know, I’m just… Making sure you’re prepared for any possible outcome. I don’t want you to be upset if our child says that he wants to go there with just the two of us.” She knows that Axl has changed, both of them have, but part of her is still wary and will rather discuss all possible outcomes with him now than deal with an outburst later when something unpleasant and unexpected happens. “Yeah, he definitely does, but it’s so strange because… I mean, if we wanted to take Baz’ kids to SeaWorld, we wouldn’t even have to ask. If we wanted to donate all his toys to children in Africa, he would help us pack them. Well, not Melmo, but he definitely would give up everything else to make other babies happy.” He dislikes Dylan because he feels threatened in a way, replaced. “How did you react to your siblings? Were you jealous of them?” She inquires, pouring a brightly-colored laundry detergent into a cup and tipping the carefully measured amount into the sink. “I remember being jealous of my sister at times, but never to this extent. I know that this is a different situation, but maybe we could use some examples from our own childhood to show him that although siblings sometimes fight and don’t get along, we love them?” She suggests, turning the faucet off so that the sink doesn’t overflow. She’s smiling under her breath, scrubbing the crimson stain out of Axl’s T-shirt, while listening to him talk about his other son. She has no trouble calling Dylan Axl’s son and Sebastian’s brother because that’s who he is. Family isn’t always blood. “Do you maybe have a more recent picture of Dylan on you? Show me. I’m sure he’s grown a lot since the last time I saw him.” Which must have been a few months ago, and she’s only glimpsed him, hiding behind Axl’s legs while she was dropping Sebastian off for the weekend. 

“Alright, I’ll just wait for him to come back and let him find out himself that his Parliaments magically turned to Marlboros overnight.” Rolling her eyes because it sounds ridiculous, she doesn’t tell Axl this but as soon as he’s out the door, his cigarettes will be leaving, too. She doesn’t feel like explaining any of this to Anthony, especially not the words that her ex-husband greeted her with earlier today — I promised to stay away from you … but I can’t. She’s been hiding quite a few things from her boyfriend, from the letters and gifts that she and Axl have been exchanging to these visits that just keep getting stranger and stranger. “You sound like my grandma, you know? The devil’s tango,” she playfully mocks, lowering her voice to try and imitate his. Fingers absently rubbing the soft fabric, the dark stain fading gradually as she continues to work on it. “Would you mind not breaking my bed? I don’t know how we’d explain this to anyone.” Once the dark spot is barely visible and she’s satisfied with the result, she rinses it in cold water again, wrings it and puts it in the washing machine. She’s reaching for his pants, absently slipping her fingers into each pocket and pulling out loose change and whatever else she finds there, before dipping them in the sink, and that’s when she hears the wildest sound. Mortified and embarrassed, she shoots her ex-husband a pointed look and shakes her head. “Are you well?” Is all she asks, still gaping at him, her eyes wide open. Was that a moan? “Can we, please, just drop this conversation? What’s gotten into you today?” If they were cartoon characters, her jaw would literally be on the floor after hearing this suggestion. She could snap and tell him that it’s really none of his business whether or not she’s using protection. He has some nerve, coming here and telling her that starting a new family isn’t such a good idea when he’s already started a new family himself. He has Dylan. She refrains from doing so only because she knows that if he refuses to drop a certain subject, it’s usually because it seriously bothers him and she decides to milk it. “You haven’t even talked to him, have you? Oh, wait… I think you have. I don’t know if you remember this, but it was May 1990, I think? Maybe early June? He walked up to us at a parking lot and he tried to flirt with me, so… Yeah, you two have spoken before. It was actually the story that Anthony and I kind of bonded over when we met a few months ago.” She decides to open up just to show the other how uncomfortable this subject can be not just for her, but for both of them. “He’s a good guy, Axl. And he doesn’t have any diseases. He’s perfectly alright and okay and healthy in every way.” Is it jealousy that she’s seeing? Laced with anger? She figures there’s only one way to find out and adds, “I think you’ve got it wrong. We’re kind of serious about this so I don’t think he’d just get up and leave if I did get pregnant so…” She watches the redhead with curiosity, wondering if he’ll finally drop the subject. Most people probably would, but then again, he’s never been like most people so she doesn’t really know what he’ll do. 

“Well, I don’t like it either, but he obviously doesn’t sit our son down and ask him to repeat all the bad words. He doesn’t teach him those phrases on purpose. I think that he’s simply not used to being around children, that he’s still learning how to be a parent, and so he forgets that he’s not supposed to say certain things in front of Sebastian. But you can just leave it and let me deal with it.” A heavy sighs escapes her lips, dark brows creasing because she doesn’t like the idea of Axl confronting Anthony. She knows how it might end and would rather avoid it. They might be the same age, but they’re not on the same level of maturity. Anthony reminds her of the version of Axl that she met back in 1986, he’sgotthat go ahead, test me, and see what happens attitude. And she knows that her ex-husband might be more mature, but that doesn’t mean he can’t throw a punch. “Because they’re so comfy and they look great on me,” she confidently says, trying to refrain from giggling at the nickname that she always scolds Sebastian for using. Ant. At least now she knows where her precious baby got it from. “And who says that he knows they’re yours? They’re mine.” Her boyfriend doesn’t know that some of those loose T-shirts that she sometimes wears don’t belong to her either, that they’re not oversized on purpose. He doesn’t know this box of memories exists. He’s not as observant as Axl, and so it’s not that difficult to hide certain things from him, which does make her feel bad when she thinks about it. “Gosh, this child owes you a new pair of jeans,” she sighs because the stain on his jeans is more difficult to remove, and it takes her some time to get most of the spaghetti sauce out. “Can you help me wring these?” Denim is heavier than cotton when soaked and she doesn’t have enough strength to do it properly on her own. However, when her gaze flickers to the other, she forgets about the jeans, leaves them in the sink to soak some more and even walks out of the bathroom to get a better look at what the singer’s doing. “And Stephanie wouldn’t be? If she knew her boyfriend’s rolling around in another woman’s bed while she’s away?” She counters, folding her arms over her chest as she leans against the doorframe. She doesn’t want to admit it to anyone, not even to herself, but she misses moments like this. These spontaneous outbursts, this laugh that bounces off walls and finds its way straight into her heart. He’s ridiculous and childish, but it’s something that she’s always loved liked about him. She finds herself relaxing, erupting into giggles. “You’re insane, Axl.” But she throws herself onto the mattress, landing face-first, her stomach colliding with his arm. “Remind me to grab my perfume before you take me back to Malibu. I’ll spray it in our bedroom since we’re marking territory or something,” she playfully teases, touching his face with her wrinkled, suds covered hands just to annoy him. “Well, you can’t take this one. It’s got plenty of sentimental value.” Realizing what shirt he’s wearing, she finds herself completely speechless. Her eyes growing glossy, glistening in the warm light. It’s like she’s back in the 80s, looking at the boy that she fell for. “I’m sorry,” she muses, trying to laugh her reaction off. “I just — I guess it’s the memories. I was so giddy when you told me that I could be a part of this video.” 

“Yeah he is, I can’t believe he’s real. He’ll be 50 and I still won’t be able to believe he’s real.” Axl lovingly says, chuckling because it’s true. “Mhm, I’ll never forget that moment.” He thinks back on it over and over and wants to tear up like it’s fresh. “Thanks, I’m tryin’ to be. I love them both and they both need a dad so I’m trying my best. Whether I have to stay up all night to make it work or not.” he answers, shrugging his shoulders. Feeling some sort of loss when she moves away from his face, like the touch burns. “Alright. I mean, it would be nice if you guys would come along so I don’t waste two hours without you guys. I mean, him. I don’t think he would have an issue with this. I don’t see why.” That’s Sebastian’s house too and won’t be any different him going there on the weekends and they’ll both be together. “About tomorrow though… yeah, I know. That’s what I said. I’d give him the choice, I’d ask him first if he wants to let Dylan go just in case. But it’ll be okay if he doesn’t, I’ll make it up to Dylan the next day.” It won’t be a big deal. Axl would like to include them both, but he’ll understand if Sebastian says no and just wants it to be him and Erin. “Yeah, I think he gently needs a sharing reminder. I get where he’s coming from but at the same time, a sharing lecture is definitely needed. Even him and Dylan could pass for brothers, they both got the cutest cheeks and green eyes. Their hair colors are just a little different, but barely that. They still got similar hair styles and both of them are mostly quiet and sweet. Minus those rambunctious moments that happens every now and then.” he chuckles, loving talking about the both of them as a smile idly happens on his face when he does. “No, he can just find out.” When the idiot comes in confused wondering how his cigarettes got replaced with a different brand. “Yeah, the devils tango,” Plopping down on the bed, he hops up and down on it to make it aggressively shake and squeak. “Ohhh Anthony.” Making his voice high and moaning. “I hope he uses condoms or you’ll catch a disease, since I know he’s not no proper guy with any real intentions with you or any other woman he’s been with. And then imagine getting pregnant with that guys kid, he’s the type to fuck, knock up and leave.” She just snatched up the first one she could find to prove some point to him, he’s not stupid. And it’s going to get her in trouble. “Then not only that, but he’s teaching Sebastian things he doesn’t need to be taught. I know he learned those curse words from somewhere. So yeah, I got a bone to pick with that guy.” Axl grumbles, it took her forever to have sex with him but she’s just spreading them open for this loser? Makes the spaghetti in his stomach want to immediately come back up. “Why are you tryin’ to steal my pants, huh? Won’t Ant man get mad about it?” Taking the rose leggings, he pulls them on to each of his ankles then stands up and pulls them up on his waist. Then falls back again and rubs himself into Anthony’s side of the bed, like a dog marking his territory. Wonders what he would think about that, him hanging out in his bed. “Then again, Ant man would be pretty mad about this.” he laughs, sitting up and putting the black muscle tee on then looking down as he puts the cross necklace over his chest. “Ohh, cool. This is my shirt from the Sweet Child music video. I haven’t seen this in awhile.”