#Quinoa After An Abortion
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Eating Quinoa After An Abortion For Fast Recovery
Quinoa After An Abortion For Fast Recovery: #quinoa,quinoa #health #benefits,quinoa #recipes,how #to #cook #quinoa,health #benefits #of #quinoa,healthy #quinoa #recipes #for healthy #dinner,health,healthy #recipes,quinoa #salad,health
Incorporating quinoa after an Abortion into your diet can be beneficial for fast recovery. Quinoa is a nutrient-rich grain that offers several advantages to support your bodyâs healing process during this time. Quinoa provides sustained energy to help replenish your strength and support tissue repair. The quinoa promotes healthy digestion and regulates bowel movements, which can be particularlyâŚ
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Trying to take care of myself this week.
#meal prepped salmon quinoa roasted sweet potatoes#made raw carrot salad. bought some salad mix#made a huge batch of raspberry leaf nettle tea#Iâm getting an abortion tomorrow so :) trying to treat my body really well.#got some stuff to make golden milk âŚ. bought some yarrow supplements#going to gather some herbs from the garden tomorrow to do a yoni steam idk if Iâll be able to tomorrow. maybe the day after#this is hard Iâm doing this shit all by myself#I donât know how to feel#đŚˇ#I just need to be kind and loving towards myself#everythingâs going to be okay âŚ..
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The Role of Nutrition in IVF Success: What to Eat and Avoid
If youâre considering in vitro fertilization (IVF) to help you conceive, nutrition plays an important role in the success of the process. Eating a balanced diet with plenty of vitamins and minerals is essential for providing your body with the nutrients it needs to produce healthy eggs and sperm, as well as nourish any embryos that may be created. The IVF Centre in Indore can provide advice on what foods will best support your fertility journey.
Eating a variety of nutrient-rich foods from all food groups is key when trying to conceive through IVF or naturally. Fruits and vegetables should make up about half of every meal, while whole grains like quinoa or brown rice are also recommended for their fiber content, which helps prevent constipationâa common side effect during pregnancyâand promote regularity throughout treatment cycles. Lean proteins such as fish, poultry, tofu, or legumes should also be included at each meal since they contain important amino acids needed for cell growth and development within developing embryos before implantation takes place after transfer into the uterus. Additionally, dairy products such as yogurt provide calcium, which helps build strong bones not only during pregnancy but prior too!
On top of eating right, itâs just as important to avoid certain foods that could impact the likelihood of successful treatment or potentially hinder your body's ability to conceive and carry a pregnancy full term if a successful transfer occurs:
Avoid processed meats like bacon/hot dogs/cold cuts â These contain nitrates that could potentially increase risk factors associated with miscarriage due to potential carcinogen exposure; so switch them out for lean proteins like fish or tofu instead!
Limit caffeine intake â Caffeine has been linked to increased risk factors associated with miscarriage, and some studies have even shown that women who drank more than 200mg per day were twice more likely to consider aborting their pregnancies; so it might be wise for anyone who is trying to conceive through IVF to limit their intake of these beverages just in case a successful transfer does occur!
Cut back on sugar - High levels of fructose in particular can affect ovulation processes, which may reduce the chances of fertilization success during treatment cycles â so switch out those cookies for yogurt or fruit instead when you.
Also Read: Best Laparoscopic Surgeon in Indore
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The Only What to Eat after Abortion for Fast Recovery Video You Need to Watch
What to Eat after Abortion for Fast Recovery whether it's a surgical or medical abortion, is a crucial time for your physical and emotional well-being. Your body needs proper nutrition and care to heal effectively. Eating the right foods can help speed up the recovery process and minimize potential complications.
1. Hydration: Staying well-hydrated is essential during the recovery period. Drink plenty of water throughout the day to prevent dehydration, which can lead to fatigue and other complications. Herbal teas, clear broths, and diluted fruit juices can also contribute to your fluid intake.
2. Nutrient-Rich Foods: Focus on consuming nutrient-dense foods that provide essential vitamins and minerals to support your body's healing process. Include a variety of foods from the following categories:
Protein: Protein is crucial for tissue repair and immune function. Include lean sources of protein such as poultry, fish, tofu, legumes, and dairy products or dairy alternatives. Eggs are also an excellent protein source.
Fruits and Vegetables: Colorful fruits and vegetables are rich in antioxidants, vitamins, and minerals. They can help boost your immune system and reduce inflammation. Incorporate a variety of fresh or cooked fruits and vegetables into your meals. Berries, citrus fruits, leafy greens, and bell peppers are particularly beneficial.
Whole Grains: Whole grains like brown rice, quinoa, whole wheat pasta, and oats provide fiber and energy. They can help regulate your digestive system and prevent constipation, which is common after anesthesia or pain medications.
Healthy Fats: Healthy fats from sources like avocados, nuts, seeds, and olive oil support overall health and provide energy. Fatty fish like salmon and mackerel are rich in omega-3 fatty acids, which have anti-inflammatory properties.
Dairy or Dairy Alternatives: Dairy products like yogurt and milk provide calcium and protein. If you're lactose intolerant or prefer dairy-free options, choose almond milk, coconut yogurt, or other suitable alternatives fortified with calcium and vitamin D.
3. Iron-Rich Foods: After an abortion, you may experience some blood loss, leading to a temporary drop in iron levels. Include iron-rich foods like lean red meat, poultry, beans, lentils, tofu, spinach, and fortified cereals to help replenish your iron stores.
4. Vitamin C: Vitamin C aids in iron absorption. Combine iron-rich foods with vitamin C sources like citrus fruits, strawberries, kiwi, and bell peppers to enhance iron absorption.
5. Fiber: To prevent constipation, include fiber-rich foods like whole grains, fruits, vegetables, and legumes in your diet. Fiber adds bulk to your stool and promotes regular bowel movements.
6. Small, Frequent Meals: Eating small, frequent meals throughout the day can help maintain stable blood sugar levels and provide your body with a steady supply of nutrients and energy.
7. Herbal Teas: Herbal teas like ginger, peppermint, and chamomile can help soothe your digestive system and provide relief from nausea or discomfort.
8. Supplements: In some cases, healthcare providers may recommend vitamin or mineral supplements, especially if you have specific dietary restrictions or if your blood tests indicate deficiencies.
9. Avoid Trigger Foods: Some foods can exacerbate symptoms such as nausea or digestive discomfort. Avoid spicy, greasy, or heavy foods, as well as caffeine and alcohol during the early days of recovery.
10. Emotional Support: Emotional well-being is just as important as physical health during the recovery process. Consider incorporating foods that are comforting and provide emotional support. Foods like warm soups, herbal teas, and favorite comfort foods can provide solace and help reduce stress.
11. Rest and Relaxation: Adequate rest and relaxation are essential for a swift recovery. While it's crucial to focus on your diet, don't forget to prioritize sleep and stress management as part of your overall healing process.
Sample What to Eat after Abortion for Fast Recovery
Breakfast: Scrambled eggs with spinach and a slice of whole-grain toast. A glass of orange juice for vitamin C.
Mid-Morning Snack: Greek yogurt with honey and fresh berries.
Lunch: Grilled chicken or tofu salad with mixed greens, bell peppers, and a light vinaigrette dressing. A side of quinoa for extra fiber and energy.
Afternoon Snack: Sliced cucumber with hummus or a small handful of almonds.
Dinner: Baked salmon or a plant-based protein source like lentils with brown rice and steamed broccoli.
Evening Snack (if needed): A cup of herbal tea or warm milk before bed.
Important Considerations:
Follow any dietary restrictions or recommendations provided by your healthcare provider.
If you experience persistent nausea, vomiting, or severe pain after an abortion, contact your healthcare provider immediately.
Gradually reintroduce foods if you've experienced digestive discomfort or nausea. Start with bland, easily digestible options like plain rice or crackers.
Emotional support and counseling may be beneficial during the recovery process. Consider seeking professional help if needed.
In conclusion, a well-balanced diet is essential for a fast and healthy recovery after an abortion. Focus on hydrating adequately, consuming nutrient-dense foods, and incorporating iron-rich sources to support your healing process.
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What to Eat after Abortion for Fast Recovery
What to Eat after Abortion for Fast Recovery in terms of their diet. The woman's body suffers greatly after an abortion. To recover more quickly, you must keep a healthy diet.
In a woman's life, being a mother is an extremely precious experience. But getting an abortion comes with a lot of challenges for whatever reason. Women experience extreme physical and emotional weakness following a miscarriage. A lot of issues affect women because of heavy bleeding. The body may experience iron shortage as a result of heavy bleeding. Anemia may result from iron deficiency. After a miscarriage, one experiences weakness and fatigue. Additionally, there are issues including persistent vertigo, anxiety, and headaches. In addition to this, the body may be lacking in vitamins, carbs, calcium, and magnesium. You should always strive to maintain a positive state of mind and body in such circumstances.
You should include these foods into your diet to achieve this.
Calcium
Following an abortion, the body's calcium levels rapidly fall. Therefore, it is crucial to consume foods high in calcium. You should eat tofu, dried fruits, shellfish, milk, dairy products, and green leafy vegetables to help with this. Your muscles and bones remain robust as a result.
Iron and Vitamin C
The body requires both iron and vitamin C to function properly. Iron and vitamin C deficiencies occur in women's bodies after miscarriages. Iron helps the body produce red blood cells, which carry oxygen. Therefore, vitamin C also improves the body's immune system. Vitamin C is also highly helpful for promoting wound healing after surgery. You can also consume spinach, dates, pumpkin, and beets for this.
Folic Acid
Stress management and red cell formation are both aided by folic acid. Additionally, it does not lead to illnesses like anaemia. After a miscarriage, you should eat folic acid-rich foods. You can accomplish this by eating foods like avocado, almonds, and walnuts.
Whole Grains
Consuming whole grains supports a healthy digestive system. Because they are high in fibre, whole grains help with indigestion and gas problems. For healthier digestion, you can include whole grains high in fibre, such as brown rice, quinoa, oats, and oatmeal.
Fatty Milks and Meats
Fatty meals, such as meat and dairy products, must be consumed after a miscarriage. You can also include items in your diet like butter, cheese, raw milk, and beef.
Eat these things after abortion
Eat to Improve Mood
After the miscarriage, you should also eat your favorite food. To improve your mood and to relieve stress, you can eat chocolate or dark chocolate.
What Not To Consume After Abortion
After abortion, you should take special care of your health. You should not eat junk food and street food. Also, avoid the consumption of any kind of oily foods. Also, drink plenty of water so that your body stays hydrated. Don't stay hungry for long. In addition, sugary foods with a high glycemic index can cause fluctuations in blood sugar levels. Do not drink candies and carbonated drinks. Also try doing yoga and meditation. Also, in case of any problem, contact your doctor immediately.
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Music Mix: John Lennon
1st John Lennon Mix
My Own Worst Enemy || Lit
It's no surprise to me I am my own worst enemy Cause every now and then I kick the living shit out of me Can we forget about the things I said when I was drunk I didn't mean to call you that
Under the Bridge || Red Hot Chili Peppers
Sometimes I feel Like I don't have a partner Sometimes I feel Like my only friend Is the city I live in The city of angels Lonely as I am Together we cry
I don't ever want to feel Like I did that day Take me to the place I love Take me all the way I don't ever want to feel Like I did that day Take me to the place I love Take me all the way (yeah yeah)Â
Come As You Are || Nirvana
Come as you are, as you were As I want you to be As a friend, as a friend As an known enemy
Take your time, hurry up The choice is yours, don't be late Take a rest as a friend As an old
Memoria, memoria Memoria, memoria
Blurry || Puddle of Mudd
Everything's so blurry and everyone's so fake And everybody's empty and everything is so messed up Pre-occupied without you I cannot live at all My whole world surrounds you I stumble then I crawl
You could be my someone you could be my scene You know that I'll protect you from all of the obscene I wonder what you're doing imagine where you are There's oceans in between us but that's not very far
Everyone is changing there's no one left that's real To make up your own ending and let me know just how you feel 'Cause I am lost without you I cannot live at all My whole world surrounds you I stumble then I crawl
Broken || Lund
Will you end my pain? Will you take my life? Will you bleed me out? Will you hang me out to dry? Will you take my soul in the midnight rain? While I'm falling apart While I'm going insane
Can you break my bones? Will you tear my skin? Can you taste my lust? Can you feel my sin? See, I'm a waste of life, I should just kill myself Yeah, I could slit my wrists, but it really wouldn't help Wouldn't fix my issues, or change your mind 'Cause I broke your heart and you buried mine Now, I'm six feet deep and I can't breathe I got dirt in my eyes and blood on my sleeves But I dig my way up through these roots and leaves So I can get some air, so I can finally breathe And now I'm on my knees, oh baby, begging please Will you Will you
Wow, I Can Get Sexual Too || SayAnything
If I die and go to Hell real soon It will appear to me as this room And for eternity, I'd lay in bed In my boxers, half stoned With the pillow under my head
I'd be chatting on the interweb Maggots pray upon the living dead I had no interest in the things she said On the phone every day, I'll permanently hit the hay
I called her on the phone and she touched herself She touched herself, she touched herself Called her on the phone and she touched herself I laughed myself to sleep
Nineteen || Bad 4 Good
You want it rough? you got it rough You want it tough? you got it tough You want it mean? well I'm mean! I'm bad! Nineteen!Â
The Logical Song || Supertramp
When I was young, it seemed that life was so wonderful A miracle, oh it was beautiful, magical And all the birds in the trees, well they'd be singing so happily Oh joyfully, oh playfully watching me But then they send me away to teach me how to be sensible Logical, oh responsible, practical And they showed me a world where I could be so dependable Oh clinical, oh intellectual, cynical
There are times when all the world's asleep The questions run too deep For such a simple man Won't you please, please tell me what we've learned I know it sounds absurd Please tell me who I am
I said, watch what you say or they'll be calling you a radical Liberal, oh fanatical, criminal Won't you sign up your name, we'd like to feel you're Acceptable Respectable, oh presentable, a vegetable! Oh, take it take it yeah
Fight For Your Right || BeastieBoys
You wake up late for school, man you don't want to go! You ask you mom(Mimi), please? But she still says, no! You missed two classes, and no homework But your teacher preaches class like you're some kind of jerk!
You gotta fight for your right to party!
Your pop caught you smoking, and he said, no way! That hypocrite smokes two packs a day Man, living at home is such a drag! Now your mom(Mimi) threw away your best porno mag! (bust it!)
You gotta fight for your right to party!
You gotta fight!
Don't step out of this house if that's the clothes you're gonna wear! I'll kick you out of my home if you don't cut that hair! Your mom(Mimi) busted in and said, what's that noise? Aw, mom(Mimi) you're just jealous, it's the Beastie Boys!
You gotta fight for your right to party! You gotta fight for your right to party!
Fat Lip || Sum 41
Well I'm a no goodick lower middle class brat! Back packed and I don't give a shit about nothing You be standing on the corner talking all that kufuffin But you don't make any sense from all the gas you'll be huffing And if the egg don't stain you'll be ringing off the hook, You're on the hit list wanted in the telephone book I like songs with distortion, to drink in proportion The doctor said my mom should have had an abortion
I don't want to waste my time Become another casualty of society I'll never fall in line Become another victim of your conformity And back down!
Paranoid || Weezer
I need someone to show me the things in life That I can't find I can't see the things that make true happiness I must be blind
Make a joke and I will sigh and you will laugh And I will cry Happiness, I cannot feel and love, to me Is so unreal
And so, as you hear these words telling you now Of my state I tell you to enjoy life, I wish I could But it's too late
I Donât Care || Fall Out Boy
Say my name, and his in the same breath, I dare you to say they taste the same, Let the leaves fall off in the summer And let December glow in flames
Erase myself and let go, Start it over again in Mexico These friends, they don't love you They just love the hotel suites, now!
I don't care what you think, As long as it's about me The best of us can find happiness, in misery I don't care what you think, As long as it's about me The best of us can find happiness, in misery
Oh, take a chance, let your body get a tolerance, I'm not a chance, but a heat wave in your pants Pull a breath like another cigarette, Pawn shop heart trading up, Said no
I'm the oracle in my chest, Let the guitar scream like a fascist, Sweat it out, shut your mouth, Free love on the streets, but In the alley it ain't that cheap, now! Â
Donât Threaten Me With a Good Time || Panic! At The Disco
Champagne, cocaine, gasoline And most things in between I roam the city in a shopping cart A pack of camels and a smoke alarm
This night is heating up Raise hell and turn it up Saying "If you go out you might pass out in a drain pipe" Oh yeah, don't threaten me with a good time
I'm a scholar and a gentleman And I usually don't fall when I try to stand I lost a bet to a guy in a Chiffon skirt But I make these high heels work I've told you time and time again I'm not as think as you drunk I am And we all fell down when the sun came up I think we've had enough
Boys || Sakima
I was busy fucking with boys, boys, boys I was busy fucking with boys, boys, boys Head is spinning, drinking with boys, boys, boys I was busy fucking with boys, boys, boys I was busy drinking with boys Boys
Weak || AJR
No thank you They call me after dark, I don't want no part My habits, they hold me like a grudge I promise I won't budge
One sip, bad for me One hit, bad for me One kiss, bad for me But I give in so easily And no thank you! is how it should've gone I should stay strong
But I'm weak, and what's wrong with that? Boy, oh boy I love ya when I fall for that I'm weak, and what's wrong with that? Boy, oh boy I love ya when I fall for that I'm weak But I'm weak, and what's wrong with that? Boy, oh boy I love ya when I fall for that
Bang! || AJR
I get up, I get down and I'm jumpin' around And the rumpus and ruckus are comfortable now Been a hell of a ride but I'm thinkin' it's time to grow (Bang! Bang! Bang!) So I got an apartment across from the park Put quinoa in my fridge, still I'm not feelin' grown Been a hell of a ride but I'm thinkin' it's time to go (Bang! Bang! bang!) (Here we go)
So put your best face on, everybody Pretend you know this song, everybody Come hang Let's go out with a bang! (Bang! Bang! bang!) I'm way too young to lie here forever I'm way too old to try so whatever Come hang Let's go out with a bang! (Bang! Bang! bang!)
Feel like I'm gonna puke 'cause my taxes are due Do my password begin with a one or a two? Been a hell of a ride but I'm thinkin' it's time to grow (Bang! Bang! bang!) (Metronome) Man, I'm up to something, ooh-dee-la-dee-doh Thank you all for comin', I hope you like the show 'Cause it's on a budget, so ooh-dee-la-dee-doh Yeah, come on here we go, yeah, come on (here we go)
So put your best face on, everybody Pretend you know this song, everybody! Come hang Let's go out with a bang! (Bang! Bang! bang!) I'm way too young to lie here forever I'm way too old to try so whatever Come hang Let's go out with a bang! (Bang! Bang! bang!) (Bang! Bang! bang!)
Been a hell of a ride but I'm thinkin' it's time to go
#john lennon#john lennon mix#lowkey mclennon#can you figure out the songs that remind me of mclennon and john
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any time
Fandom: Skam Austin Ship: Grace x Daniel Summary: In which Grace needs a fake boyfriend again.
Inspired by a scene in Elle Kennedyâs The Risk and by a conversation with the amazing @colored-pins
ao3
It wasnât that Jesse was a bad guy.
He was Eveâs only hetero male friend. He attended Take Back the Night walks. Jesse was obviously⌠political and intelligent and exactly what anyone would expect from a man-bun-wearing practitioner of naked yoga. All nonconformist and liberal and woke.
Heâs so your type! Megan had giggled in her ear, when theyâd first noticed him standing in front of them in line at Graceâs favorite salad place. Unless youâre into someone, I donât know, a little more⌠jock-ish.
And then Grace had rolled her eyes, and belatedly retorted, Donât be ridiculous. Of course, âpolitical and intelligentâ was her type. Her type would have to be someone ânonconformist and liberal and woke.â
Her type would definitively not play high school football.
So, yes, Jesse was great and wonderful and etcetera. Grace just wished that she wasnât eating lunch with him right now. As soon as they'd starting talking, Meganâtraitorâhad gushed about how perfect it was that theyâd run into each other, because, would you look at her phone, she had to run, and this way she wouldnât be leaving Grace to eat all on her own.
Jesse had grinned, all easy and zen.
Grace had tried not to grimace.
Trust me, you need this, Megan had whispered to her, before slipping away, and throwing a Have fun! over her shoulder.
Traitor, traitor, traitor, traitor.
That was how Grace had ended up sitting next to Jesse at a counter by the cafe window, closer together than she would have liked, nibbling on kale and quinoa between bits of small talk. And she knew it wasnât Jesseâs fault that their knees were just about touching, that his arm kept brushing hers; their seats were just that close together. Her elbow kept grazing his too. Such was life.
âI think youâd have a good time,â Jesse was saying, his brown eyes intent on her. Eve had told her once that Jesse had a lot of Scorpio intensity, for such a chill guy, and Grace was starting to see what she'd meant. He really had that âtrying to stare into your soulâ thing down.
âIâŚâ Grace shook her head, and tried to laugh. âI donât know. Naked yoga isnât really my thing.â She was going to kill Megan. And then Eve. And then Megan again.
âLook, I get it,â Jesse said. His arm slid against hers again, as he went for another forkful of his salad. âI didnât think Iâd be into it either. But thereâs something surprisingly empowering about stripping away all the outer layers. Being there, breathing, completely exposed, accepting yourself as you are.â
Too much eye contact. Abort eye contact. Grace turned to look out the window, as she answered, âYeah, Iâm just not sure Iâm looking to be⌠completely exposed. While doing yoga.âÂ
And Jesse must have answeredâGrace was sure she heard him cede that's fairâbut she wasnât listening, because right outside the window, walking past the restaurant wasâ
Daniel. Daniel was walking down the sidewalk, all by himself, looking like such a clichĂŠ, with his Henley and styled, very-much-not-in-a-man-bun hair. Or he had been walking, until he spotted her in the cafĂŠ window. Then heâd slowed. Now, he paused to meet her gaze. And Grace would love to say that she immediately looked away (best case scenario) or that her eyes communicated total indifference (second best case scenario), butâŚ
How was it possible that sheâd had more fun laughing with Daniel Williamson over a piece of kale in her teeth, than she was having with Jesse? Jesse, who might be a little too enthusiastic about naked yoga, but had never slept withâand than discardedâone of her best friends.
âYou know, it doesnât have to be naked yoga,â Jesse was saying. âI go to this Kundalini class thatâs doing, like, amazing things for my chakras. If you want to joinâŚâ
Daniel tilted his head at Jesse with a raised eyebrow.
Grace wasnât sure what her answering shrugâher shoulders still hadnât totally un-tensedâsaid exactly, but it had Daniel walking away within a second.
Her stomach sunk around her next sip of water. Good. Daniel leaving was good. Daniel misunderstanding her lunch with Jesse, assuming it was at all romantic, would beâeven better. It would.
The cafĂŠ door swung open, ushering in a gust of spring air with it. God, Grace wished she could leap up and escape through it.
âThatâs actually how I found that naked yoga class,â Jesse continued. âSame teacher.â
âOh. Thatâs reallyââ Interesting, Grace had been planning to finish, before a palm pulsed around her shoulder. Not Jesseâs. Jesseâs were still occupied with his salad and iced green tea. These hands belonged to someone else. Someone clearly male and obviously strong andâ
âHey, babe,â a voiceâDanielâs voiceâcame right at her ear, before a pair of lipsâDanielâs lipsâpressed a quick kiss into her hair.
Had Grace had time to think, she probably would have pushed him away. Or asked him what the hell he was doing. Or something similarly disdainful. But Grace didnât have time to think, she had to react right now, and, right now, she felt herself easing back against Danielâs chest.
âHey,â she said, smoothly, like her lunch hadnât segued into bizarre world. Like she wasnât suddenly very aware of Daniel Williamsonâs body heat.Â
âHi,â Jesse said, straightening slightly. Raising a hand in a kind of wave. âIâm Jesse. Friend of Graceâs cousin.â
âDaniel. Graceâs boyfriend.â
Grace wasnât sure she believed in miracles, butâit was kind of a miracle that laughter didnât bubble out from the closed line of her lips just then.
âAh,â Jesse said, turning back to her. âDidnât realize you were seeing someone.â
Danielâs fingers trailed their way down her bare arm, casual, as though he touched her like this all the time. As though he had no idea what her heartbeat was doing right now.
âYeah,â Grace said. âWell. Itâs new.â
Running. Her heartbeat was running.
âBut serious,â Daniel added. âIâm crazy about her.â
There was nothing particularly intimate about the way heâd started massaging his thumb along her wrist. Her pulse. There was no reason Grace should have had to shake her head, clear her head, before stage whispering to Jesse: âHe claims it was love at first sight.â
âIt was love at first sight," Daniel retorted.
Jesse grinned, zen restored. âThatâs really sweet.â
Almost against her willâdefinitely against her willâGrace felt her other hand moving to tangle with Danielâs. And he let her, as though this was normal for them, as though she danced his fingertips across his knuckles all the time. Â
âYou should hear the songs she writes for me,â Daniel said. âReal sweet."
His arm was draped across her, around her, now; her back even more molded to his chest. Sheâd done that.
If asked, she would deny that sheâd done that.
âOh, babe,â Grace teased, trying to ignore the firmness of his utterly clichĂŠ athlete abs. âI sort of had to. You know, after you started leaving a poem in my locker every day.â
âWhat can I say,â Daniel said. Lips twitching. She could hear his lips twitching. âYouâre my muse.â
And Grace knew she should be concerned that they were still right in front of the window, that anyone could walk by and see her basically in Daniel Williamsonâs arms. But when Jesse stood up, and said, âHey, man, take my seat. I should be heading out,â she had a hard time regretting anything.
Picking up his salad bowl, Jesse added, "Awesome seeing you, Grace."
âYeah,â she said. âIâll say hi to Eve for you?â
âTell her she still owes me ten dollars.â
Grace gave him an exaggerated grimace. âThat might be a lost cause.â
âA guyâs gotta try, right?â Jesse said with another toothy smile on his way towards the exit.
And then he was gone, and Daniel was lifting his hand out of hers, moving away, sitting down next to her. Raising his brow at her.
Grace crossed her arms. Ignored the echoes his fingers left on her skin. âHey, babe?â she repeated.
He leaned closer, one elbow on the counter, before drawling, âI could have gone with sweetheart.â
Grace tilted her head, and teased, âCould you have, though? Really?â
Danielâs lips curved again. âYou looked like you needed help. Youâre welcome.â
âMaybe I wanted to hear more about Jesseâs enthusiasm for naked yoga.â
Mock consideration creased Danielâs forehead. âYeah. I donât think so.â
A shrug. Another bite of her quinoa. Total, wordless patience from Daniel as she chewed.
âOkay,â she said. âSo maybe I was littleâŚâ
âDesperate?â Daniel offered.
âA little stuck,â Grace corrected, shoving her shoulder against his. âI was not desperate.â
âYou looked desperate,â he countered. âYou might as well have been blinking SOS in Morse code.â
âAnd you totally know Morse code.â
âI'm proficient."Â
âOf course.â
âOf course.â
Another beat.
âThank you,â Grace said, finally. âYou wereââa slight laugh, because this was so ridiculous, how was this her afternoonââa model fake boyfriend.â
âAny time.â Daniel had dragged his lower lip between his teeth, just a bit.Â
It should have sounded light. Like a joke. But all Grace could hear was the edge of gruffness in his voice. His eyes, latching onto hers. The leftover warmth of his hand on her arm.
That was all she could hear, even after he looked away.
When he moved to get up, Grace heard herself blurting, âYou should stay.â
Stupid. She was being so stupid. She was prolonging this, betraying Kelsey, giving Daniel every opportunity to call her out for wanting to spend time with himâŚ
But Daniel just nodded with faux-gravity. âI probably should. He could come back.â
Grace nodded. "We wouldn't want him to think we were lying.â
When she offered Daniel a sip of her water, he took it.
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THOTS & PRAYERS FOR THE BROTHERHOOD OF WHITE MEN
is what Iâm gonna call this mess
since weâre the demo that does them best
if thots and prayers mean acting less
or voting against marginalized groups with minority stress⌠as if women at conference tables⌠and brown folks in dorms⌠need white guys subtracting more⌠and I know we use categories for making sense⌠and giving names to groups we havenât met
but no
WHY DO YOU HATE WHITE MEN THATâS LIKE ME SAYING I HATE FAGGOTS AND LATINAS
my brother
on the phone while Iâm at an intersection
but what about flesh in the grass and women in ironworking and los trumpistas in southern california and pixie boys in kootenai county and ill-eagles fireworks on the skokomish reservation and mothers nursing children in rocking chairs at spokane international airport⌠and steer ropers staring in horsesâ eyes⌠and words so strong they become actions like âguiltyâ and âI hereby pronounce youâ
I want to say
it comes down to
while animals aim for physical victory bc theyâre rewarded by evolutionary gain⌠my brother aims for high-volume sucker-punching bc⌠well same
no no no I reassure myself⌠Iâve prepared for this moment⌠covering my bedroom walls with butcher paper and definitions for agĂĄpÄ and wisdom and grace
the light turns green
in seattle where my boyfriend and I saw a band named âboyfriendsâ⌠consisting of three guys some with girlfriends maybe play-acting âgayâ
not the faggot town I grew up in
did I say faggot town
flipped my thoughts
I live with faggots now
bc of course I moved away
from where I was raised⌠where ladies in subdivisions filled rusted bathtubs with dahlias⌠and re-arranged living room sectionals and side tables⌠and guys in trailer parks worked on TVs in their yards
I never smeared deer blood on my face after a kill⌠and neither did my brother
we never paintballed stop signs⌠or climbed trees to catch squirrels (the unofficial after-school workout of the wrestling team)⌠or nailed the bloody skins to the weight room wall⌠or chilled in the parking lot with the tenth-grade science teacher slash security guard
where I grew up
white trash was designated white as opposed to other dodgy colors
wonder if the cafeteria table at school still says derek smith is a fag⌠I see blocky letters behind my eyes⌠nirvana on the lawn⌠holding a stick next to a praying mantis⌠hoping sheâll crawl on
live in the same place long enough and the frogs will be gone
each year I bike a block further
find certainty in school
lay around and think about what's true
leave cleats books water bottles in the living room
train for x-country in july and august⌠dream of anthropology and art history in college⌠parents fill out FAFSA forms
unconscious
at the intersection of my privs
square jaw wide grip
I give in
I say to my brother
driving by the gaybucks
are you serious? I ask... you want to do this rn? you think I hate white men? you didnât show much interest in my self-hatred when we were teens
we were raised to read widely on top of doing our homework for English class⌠stories about white men unable to find work or shelter⌠I stayed awake by reading one chapter in the basement of our three-story home and another chapter in the bath⌠and another chapter in the basement⌠and another in the bath
it was 1997 and everyone was wearing ck jeans and eternity cologne and disappearing into the wood paneling of their basements
not everyone wrote a 5-paragraph paper on why abortion was wrong
but I did
most people ate the pro-life sundaes at youth group
as the tin man in our high school production of âThe Wizard of Ozâ⌠I dreamed of a fabulous life in the emerald city⌠while listening to conservatives in the community complain about the presence of witches and pagan values in the play⌠a few token liberals described how the Wicked Witchâs green skin and Glindaâs button nose⌠equated virtue with appearance
I worked on a farm for $
hi-ho the derrrrrrrrry-o
faggot on the farm
flesh in the grass
telling stories and pulling weeds as I acknowledged âweedâ was a human category⌠for life distinct from other forms of life⌠standing out in color and shape⌠budding out of place
when I got home I studied Zanieâs backwoods dialect in Zora Neale Hurstonâs âTheir Eyes Were Watching Godâ
four years later
ash-covered New Yorkers crossed the Brooklyn Bridge with their hands on their faces
I picked blueberries on Mount Rainier⌠asked if subalpine flowers should smell like dryer sheets⌠if lakes should be toilet tab blue
žâ threaded galvanized pipe two chain links eye bolts flag
supplies list from the guy at the rest-stop on the way home⌠old glory should stand up to a 96 mile trip up to 70 mph
I went to work folding taco wrappers into triangles like nothing had happened⌠and made food with beef that showed up in boxes marked âfit for human consumptionâ⌠staging mexi-fries under heat lamps in groups of two or three
while boy george (w.) signed the Providing Appropriate Tools Required to Intercept and Obstruct Terrorism act
after work I slept in self-inflicted poverty in a house full of guys who did backyard enemas and drank jars of pee and kept mushroom journals⌠and changed my opinion about property ownership⌠bc why bother storing up treasure when human possession is an illusion⌠and condoleeza rice has a chevron tanker named after her
we argued about earth history and theological precepts like pre-destination
but agreed
godâs complacent
should be more like the hippie guy in the volkswagen van⌠with Eden Before The Fall painted one side⌠and Eden After The Fall on the other⌠and a nice patch of grass growing on top
textbooks copied screens
fireplaces provided intimacy w/o heat
virtual experiences dominated references in speech
green-tongued goats on forest service roads licked antifreeze
we asked if the phone was real or surround sound prestige... did the spin instructor in the windowless gym want sixty percent on hills or ninety percent on streets⌠is the norway maple transplanted to the front lawn of the new house conveying a line of aristocratic family wealth
an old-growth tree
the entrepreneur in an education workshop talked about âproductsâ metaphorically
a patriot/explorer on a mustang/bronco went on an expedition/excursion to the frontier/tundra⌠passing through the winnebago tribe saying
srry bout it
the kids on the makah reservation donât want whale sandwiches
wal-mart got blue and target red
white wonder breadÂ
happy meals
j. christ
c.e.o.
5 lb cereal
4 brown ghosts
the speaker at the commencement ceremony joked, âwhatâs the difference between Pullman and a cup of yogurt?â
the cup of yogurt has more culture
zuckerbergâs hoodie went from âdisregard for conventionâ to âpurity of intentionâ⌠for someone too focused to worry about clothes⌠monastic gray was helping folks
now weâre here
weâre here
at the mindfulness weight loss retreat⌠three raisins⌠six almonds⌠the right herbal tincture⌠twenty minutes in the redwoods
dragging
the past in front of us bc it happened
weâre at home eating pancakes with butter and syrup and powdered sugar⌠but the sugar is crushed-up hydroxycut
city buildings capture sun for the 20%
hey shadows
and data-mining companies have been adding my places of employment and the mesh shorts I almost bought⌠and the dreams I deferred and the shows I watch⌠to their digital dossier of me⌠and I guess the gazing goes one way but not the other⌠like church⌠where predictive analytics play upon thirsts⌠ and hunt me down like unicorn shirts
whatâs next
trees drop plastic fruits
domesticated deer eat out of troughs
stunt-double bears rent suits in parking lots
forest rangers lasso the last of the orioles and roll up the sky
no
we learn
the last time I had a long island iced was... the last time I had a long island iced tea
seeeeeeeeeeeeeee
bro
Iâm doing better
youâre like me
except Iâm a busybody
with no kids
wish: âpc lecture with moral authoritarian tone by urban elite who reflexively rejects critiques of globalizationâ⌠reads âfearless inventory in a world where âquinoa empanadasâ are a thing⌠and platters of deviled eggs watch the horizonâ
so even as I call your babyâs bedroom view of the skyline from your island home
privilege bestowed
I call out myself
for lavender cookies and oatmeal soap
never noticing appropriation in cartoon indian smokes
white peace pipe under a red sun on a yellow box
database of ruin snapshots
you know how I spent those years teaching high school in gig harbor⌠what you donât know is I had two Hispanic sisters⌠Maria and Paula⌠spend a quarter translating childrenâs books on sticky notes
they
smiled
yawned
bored
I was their teacher and offered âsupportâ
(but if you need more⌠in 2009 I was plucking spraying spiking shaving shoving⌠like the guys on jersey shore⌠watched every episode and called it my reward⌠for getting through two president bushes)
the founding fathers designed our branches of government to withstand the likes of King George
(also: granted love to gather more of it, shirked a wrong but lorded over it)
psychologically spiraling⌠debating if I should share the video of the first lady in the blue dress staring at her feet during inaugural prayer⌠wondering if Iâm feeling personal irritability or existential despair⌠if I have âcompassion fatigueâ from doing âemotional laborâ in my newsfeed
why someone hasnât invented a female-friendly pee trough between the knees⌠why menopausal sensuality gets teased⌠why testosterone means feeling confident about incorrect answers
have the decency to feel guilty
living off the massive retail workforce stocking big-box brick-and-mortar stores and online fulfillment centers
what did we expect
detaching personal accountability from global effects
what did you think
watching nature documentaries frame lions as villains⌠positing giraffes as victims⌠when we know aggression isnât something âwe get out of our systemsâ
but confessing rings wrong
I say to my brother
pulling up to my apartment home
ear hot from the phone
howâs the kid
peeing blood
good⌠heâs got a kitchen set with a stove and dishwasher⌠he cooks plastic things while he toot-toots⌠farts on command... he says
I hope heâs reading âRadical American Women A-Zâ and âThe Adventures of Toni the Tamponâ⌠I say⌠and playing with the nine new ken dolls with ethnically ambiguous face-sculpts⌠developing new play patterns⌠bc brown kids asked to play with âthe good dollâ choose the white doll⌠and still grow up overly disciplined at school⌠by administrators analyzing âracial predictability and dis-proportionality in achievement categoriesâ⌠without saying the word âracistâ
I like body positive post-holiday ken his paunch
also our white immigrant ancestors got rich enslaving Blacks
(the rest of the starter kit for understanding institutional injustice can be found online @ www.google.com)
(intermediate: people of color fight against constructed realities⌠internally and externally⌠and the racial imaginary overlaps with the gay imaginary bc invisible people need some space to practice their fkn moves⌠but what about time and place⌠whose ear does the hearing⌠which mouth translates)
o say can I⌠being me⌠understand how corporate restructuring shows one face and sublimates others⌠contributes to oppression where double consciousness affects women and people of color
o say can I hear the oppressorsâ voices renegotiate my thoughts decolonize space
where do I fit in? will there be room for me? how do I make room for others?
my brother suddenly has to go asks if youâll be him on the phone
yes
it's complicated
but yes
(if you're not my brother and the request is nbd bc you've always heard the voices of white men⌠I invite you to continue⌠if youâd rather not⌠peace be with you⌠letâs hang soon⌠I love you)
and right there did you feel that [ [ [ [
in actual life we arenât there yet⌠I hung up the phone after âfaggots and Latinasâ... bc my hands were shaking so hard I could barely steer
typical of you to back out of conversation before we say the hurtful things you say
before we say the hurtful things? before? I ask
1) well at least I finally have the upper hand with you thinking you can threaten broken bonds 2) Iâve never seen two belief systems more perfectly in line 3) I guess you stand for democratic values most of the time
weâll never know whatâs depraved and what's divine⌠I canât read hearts and I canât read minds
already I had escaped into the televised self-help seminar in my head⌠where I am the host rolling up my sleeves⌠ ready to hear from household cleaner huffing sisters⌠and visualize problems worse than mine
after the commercial break I engage the girls in patient-therapist interactions... mixing hard-hitting realism and hypersensitive dialogue⌠as intolerable and inauthentic as my wifeâs bouffant
basically Iâm dr. phil⌠but also⌠if itâs okay with you⌠Iâd love to try being the girls⌠who havenât seen their father since they were two
and later during the re-tape⌠the visiting expert with a new self-help book⌠explains the âcolorization of the soulâ⌠saying âI think it makes sense to nurture the âdaily meâ before skimming the news⌠look here⌠on the color rubric⌠reds before bluesâ
red apples picked by farm workers with multiple SSNs
blue mechanics in overalls twirling ballpoint pens
white eggshell enamel over pink or saccharine
symbols up for grabs⌠by anyone⌠bc thatâs what I was told growing up and believed⌠I can be anyone I wanna be
hope the same for Muslim girls wearing spandex hijabs in P.E.
our country is not exempt⌠when campaign rallies look like nests⌠but I know Iâm like⌠eighty-two percent spoon-fed/tone-deaf
tomorrow
is a childâs flying drone-wish⌠where native plants have extraordinary ability visas like the biebs⌠germinate round-up ready soft white wheat⌠and facial recognition software on my self-driving truck beeps⌠bc Iâm not wearing guyliner⌠and lack ethereum cryptocurrency
so I walk into a bar and borrow liquid pencil
apply it in the mirror by the urinal
remembrance of things pabst
love comes in spurts
the worst
hasnât
hap-
pened
be around
no
thanks
Iâll be a morel mushroom full of vitamin d in the dark
an emerald city queer in the shadow of Rainier where bark is bark
mist from the Nisqually River rolls above the fast part
torrent > P2P file sharing
a robot hands me a warm towel after yoga⌠scans my sweat for communicable diseases
construction workers buy baguettes out of a wheelbarrow⌠from my kids
paid in no-nuance knockoff dramatized black lady gifs
blood on their faces hunting feral pigs
allahu akbar⌠on the fortieth click⌠means more than the first search results about jihadist battle cries⌠jihad⌠means more than the first search results about holy wars
as-salaam aleikum⌠peace be unto you
ah
saw-lahm
all-lay-koooooooom
while keeping an eye on the horizon
for crowd estimation software in weather balloons
across the un-crossable Puget Sound
not really
we live in western wash.
what Iâm saying is⌠Iâm not traveling down Tolkienâs path⌠climbing Silversteinâs precipice⌠crossing a toothpick pier⌠or boarding a balsa wood boat⌠for a âdialogue eventâ⌠when I see you across this metaphorical inlet
not everything overlaps⌠smoke + fog = smog⌠marionette + puppet = muppet⌠enchilada + burrito = enchurrito⌠intermingling > provincialityâŚbut apple slices on guacamole is white people saying to Mexicans we want your food and want to âtouchâ it too
eww
I want the queer bar full of queers⌠and thatâs true of any gathering place⌠the identity shifts with whoâs there and who stays⌠for physical touch and feeling safe... and cultural intensification... we congregate
I could never hate feminist separatists reading sappho by lyre
agrarian nationalists and queer energy collectives disappear
cross the cascades⌠to north idaho⌠passport in hand to show agents at the skin of the bubble⌠preparing for my cousin the welder⌠who canât get out of his trailer⌠and my dad who says seat belts and metric measurements are communist and has a legal pad with instructions for working the computer
the girl on the greyhound says she didnât go to college for four years to sit on her ass and bake cookies
been awhile
a few days later I ride in the back of our uncleâs truck to the parade⌠where grandma reminds me to keep my beer tabs so kristy will get a party for her class⌠as we set up folding chairs on the sidewalk⌠to watch shriners on little cars⌠and wave at hooters girls on the make-a-wish float⌠the mayor⌠always pooping in other peopleâs pants⌠grandma says⌠as we find ourselves standing and clapping for the coeur dâalene tribe
after mayor and police go by
later help grandma make tater tot hot dish... wrap the pan in a bath towel she pulls from a cabinet full of towels stacked vertically like pizza boxes
small talk
fawn over the sâmores pie with graham cracker crumbs on bottom and top⌠especially the marshmallowy middle
oh oops
did I go there
pre-prayer
hereâs the thing⌠the alliances we need to overcome the monster are never what we think they are⌠and seeing anti-american sentiment in the firmament⌠and indicator speciesâ temperaments⌠reminds us the world collects⌠and/or usurps the throne⌠the debt is more than we think we owe⌠there wonât be polite knocking or ceremonial drumming⌠by so-called âothersâ we didnât see coming
solution⌠testing limits⌠and I donât mean excusing myself to get the wings by the jumper cables in the trunk⌠walking back in and telling everyone angel gabriel is here⌠saying⌠oh I guess this isnât⌠is this not the sexy jesus party with a crucifix selfie station?
omg that hoe over there
our arguments are basically light divisions⌠internal-only obstacles where I go back and forth debating
I know
this makes you wanna scream into the phone
well
hereâs a semi-autobiographical lyric novella in the form of an epic poem
typical passive progressiveness⌠I canât even talk to you face-to-face⌠when you wanna chill by the water tank⌠I communicate via popsicle stick messages in the gutter / everyone on tumblr
one thingâs for sure⌠weâre giving up some things... sâmores pie is on the table⌠but itâs not on the table⌠of sacrifices Iâll be making⌠bc I love sâmores pie
we donât wanna give up anything but we have to try
our lives are characterized by conveniences with steep costs
like celery and bell peppers and onions already chopped
people with invisibility powers canât be stopped
rowing outside San Diego and the Gulf
above cracked pipes and pvc
clouds of oil
grass and reeds
dragonflies and damselflies with heavy wings
on multi-generational round-trips without breaks to breathe in juniper trees
addition: we had a seed vault⌠a plan b food bank⌠to take care of us... in case a plague trapped in siberian ice destroyed our crops⌠but ten years went by without permafrost⌠and car-less urbanites with mileage plans... shrugged and said there was nothing they could do
a collapsed ice shelf is another place for cargo ships to pass through
our ecosystems depend on conversations among interlocking interdependent parts⌠more than mermaid toast or zombie shows⌠or mother nature wish-fulfillment fantasies⌠where we ask quail and cranes in the forest⌠to come out of the trees and lift us away by our shoulder pads
our second eye watches the ground⌠as we pace sidewalks disrupted by roots⌠thank inchworms for decompositionsâŚ. trace the paths of ants on the side⌠turn our ears like ferris wheels on the sly
inner vision attuned
wilderness survival guide
I do not have superior autobiographical memory like my faggot boyfriend does⌠brother⌠but if I remember right you beat up the guy who peed on my backpack in ninth grade⌠bc the next passing period⌠he apologized
Iâm in bed rn⌠thinking about how I hate your muscular public practice⌠but needed it⌠srry for being confused
the word is not the thing
the menu is not the food
the plan
after Iâve figured out what I can give up
is to invite people to a park
grand theft auto fans
promote
slacktivist slash accent coach
mom in dallas⌠cashier cleric caregiver⌠competing for section 8 vouchers
developer counting kickbacks and calories... at a housing tax credit industry gathering
middle-aged man afraid to lose⌠leaving Buenavista for Baton Rouge⌠parents of dead black kids donât know what to do⌠Saudi women barred from carpools⌠El Salvadoran sugarcane harvesters⌠closeted Egyptian police officers⌠Filipino nannies tinikling to Lilâ Wayne⌠trans women fighting the state⌠Miss Texas 1988⌠Harlotte OâScara Hellen Tragedy⌠snake handler crab trapper⌠adjunct professor qualitative researcher⌠worldâs most prolific fortune cookie writer⌠Bible Jim⌠shirtless guy next to him in briefs and âThis man gave me a blowjobâ sharpied on his chest
salmon in gasoline
up the bank across the street
pipeline burst on whatcom creek
hyper-empathic hatchimal colleggtor
trained to serve but not hit back
except in tennis lessons
the male coach
flips that
srry
gay hater cake maker cradle labeler
homo-plausible bi-logical
floral arranger
retain it or give it away
intellectual property is three chords
and the person with less power says you're not allowed
your brother
itâll be the opposite of when I showed up at your house after my wife left me⌠and you opened the door⌠and I collapsed in your arms in the hallway⌠and bc youâre a few inches taller than me⌠and my knees wouldnât work⌠you saw the nail marks on the walls of my subconscious
weâll play a game⌠where we introduce ourselves
recall times in our lives with less repetition more repair
describing versions of ourselves adding post-scripts unaware
listing words we never use: farce, fatuous, machination, myopic, subterfuge
sorting beliefs by size date modified proof
discuss satire-less south park
duraflame start
galvanize flake n rust
behave spontaneously n not combust
help hippielandia hostel in flames
learn ancient proto-langs
repeat shit we wanna forget
like, has anyone checked on the family in the nuclear train car yet
weâll discuss what should change⌠what should stay the same⌠believe ourselves capable of restraint⌠revive the practice of communal processing⌠where townspeople gather side by side⌠to watch events from the day reenacted in light
practice⌠on a page
like in a play
oceans and lands⌠dna strands⌠airspace⌠electromagnetic spectrums⌠gridded and privatized⌠but the public square
ACT I
CURTAINS OPEN ON PARK/SQUARE. TOWNSPEOPLE GATHER IN HALF-CIRCLE. MISSILE, WEATHER BALLOON, AND RED SUN HANG OVERHEAD
NICO: âIâve been thinking about how I might convey my progressive morals in a way that sounds wholesome to my family.â
ISSA: âIâm done with that. I spend ten dollars on tampons at the store and my husband gets a bowlful of condoms every time he orders a jaeger shot. Then if I mention the disparity he blames âred tide.â When I needed postnatal care to stop my fourth trimester pants-pissing, my doctorâs visit wasnât covered. Society isnât family friendly. I spend forty-minutes on the couch organizing housework and childcare each week, and regardless of what society says, thatâs project management.â
JASLENE: âLast year my teacher gave everyone two bathroom passes and if you didnât use them they were worth extra credit, so I left bloody circles on the chair para mostrarle que esto es lo que sucederĂa.â
CROWD SILENCES. BOY IN âWANNA LIFT?â SHIRT LEAVES. DARLENE STEPS TO THE MIDDLE.
DARLENE (to vacated space, then to group): âWeâll miss you⌠Every manifestation of good and evil has part of the answer, but also, immovable people will not be moved. We will show civil inattention by giving him the space he needs.â
MARK: âIâll never represent my beliefs adequately since I have trouble telling the barber how I want my hair without the assistance of visual aids, but Iâm here to talk anyway.â
JAMES: âWe're standing on varying levels of culturally constructed oppressive frames and the only way to deconstruct the artifice as it exists is to stand on the ones that are more entrenched and take apart the ones that are less entrenched.â
SOFĂA: âIâm so confused by the fact that Iâm not supposed to feel shame, except for all the things Iâm supposed to feel shameful about, which arenât the things I thought were shameful. Am I supposed to know what a âgender illusionistâ is? I thought liking men made my nephew gay.â
CURTAINS CLOSE
overheard in audience:
theyâre not connecting⌠just waiting turns and expressing
letâs not underestimate the hard work of avoiding moral outrage
dismayed at the repetition of âbutâ while conversation disintegrates
hang on
looking up cognac insta chefâs recipe for caramel-drizzled hennessy cupcakes
unwilling to listen generously⌠while aiming for an ending other than intensifying favoritism is like nailing jelly to a tree
using a chainsaw to cut butter
jumping from flower to flower in a fern gulley type situation
pragmatism is a dangerous alternative to conviction
ACT II
CURTAINS OPEN. CHARACTER âYOUâ GAZES OUT OF HOUSE WINDOW ON AN ISLAND, STAGE LEFT. CHARACTER âMEâ LOOKS OUT APARTMENT WINDOW IN A CITY, STAGE RIGHT
In unison: I promise me: to fight for-profit prisons, schools, and kidney-dialysis centers. you: [ [ [ [
In unison: I think I can give up me: the scholarship I got in college and give it to someone who needs it. But donât touch the sâmores pie. you: [ [ [ [
In unison: Iâve been thinking about me: what you shared with me about China building artificial land around the Spratly Islands. And how prison construction companies look at standardized test data from second grade children of color. you: [ [ [ [
In unison: I believe I am owed me: a reply. Not long, but something. you: [ [ [ [
In unison: I care about me: how Ryan and Jesseâs mom used to put Carl Budding lunchmeat with mayonnaise and mustard in a blender⌠set it on âmashâ for a game of Duck Hunt⌠scoop it into Tupperware⌠and smear it on white bread throughout the week. I would eat that over apples on guacamole. The real globaloney. you: [ [ [ [
In unison: I hope me:Â we find space to show real love to kenyan baboons in garbage dumps and dioxin babies walking like spiders with red septic skin and people in apartments named after species theyâve displaced and women planning the clean-up of their suicides. you: [ [ [ [
CURTAINS CLOSE: INTERMISSION
overheard in lobby:
coming up with a formula for interacting in common space
himalayan crystals from the mystic utilikit dude
maybe weâll see them agree⌠or calm down⌠or point towards partial truth⌠or connect idealism to privilege
not youth
we know old folks are idealistic
planting seeds without expecting fruits
going to target and payless shoes
ACTS III+
CURTAINS OPEN ON PARK/SQUARE. TOWNSPEOPLE HUDDLE AROUND A RADIO, AS IF IN A SNOWSTORM.
RADIO: ... let it be that great strong land of love⌠where never kings connive nor tyrants scheme⌠that any man be crushed by one aboveâŚ
DARLENE: âStarting sentences with âIâ is a good place to begin, but feelings of belonging go deeper. Shift responses bring the attention to ourselves. Support responses ask for more. Letâs be more than cannibals with knives and forks.â
MARK: âFood metaphors. We want to think about asking better questions. âWhat place most inspires you?â instead of âWhere have you traveled?â âWhat work are you passionate about?â instead of âWhat do you do?ââ
JASLENE: âWhat's your weightiest belief? What's your most potent fear?â
RADIO: ⌠clutching the hope I seek⌠and finding only the same old stupid plan⌠of dog eat dog, of mighty crush the weak⌠it never was America to meâŚ
ISSA: âThe desperate search for an ethic, a specter.â
JASON: âI am willing to give up my authority but don't touch my autonomy.â
RADIO: ... say, who are you that mumbles in the dark? and who are you that draws your veil across the stars?
YOU: [ [ [ [ [ [ [ [ [ [ [ [ [ [ [ [
EPILOGUE
Before sharing my brotherâs response, I want to say I wrote âThots & Prayersâ because women get fewer obituaries than men in newspapers. Because the Baltimore Orioles lost way back when they had no tree canopy in which to land. Because trauma squats in the valley and anxiety raps her knuckles on the hill. Because Taco Bell spent 10 years and $15 mill developing stretchy cheese. Because men look at other men working in daycare centers and think theyâre dumb for frittering away perks that should have been theirs from birth. Because my older brother yelled about faggots and Latinas after visiting the site of the Orlando Pulse shooting.
I am not looking to be comforted or assuaged.
White men need to educate each other. Itâs not anyone else's job. We need to listen to the cultural conversation, see connections, and act on behalf of people who aren't seen. We need to be friendly in crowded places, and pull each other aside and be bridges.
I hope my family understands how many things will break if we donât accommodate fragility. Iâm not a metaphysician and donât know about quantum mechanics or particle physics, but I know the phrase âI hopeâ is a glimmer of light living outside my rage. âI hopeâ signals my privilege. I hope to understand more about âI hopeâ in the context of everyday life in coming days.
As a beneficiary of entrenched systems, I work for everyone to have equal voice and access. I work for whatâs best in my neighborhood and nation, on this striking and stunning and astoundingly polluted planet. I avoid asteroid-bashing. I avoid the ossification of stalemate. I avoid co-opting languages of the oppressed. I save room for warmth and time for children. I learn about neuro-diversity in the workplace and nutrient density in school lunches, and communicate generously about these issues and other issues, like the shared struggle for justice.
Mantras Iâm saying and acting upon.
Whatâs mine is yours.
We do not need all the parts of the old society to create a new one.
If you feel inspired, please comment. Iâd love to hear your weightiest belief, most potent fear, frustrations, considerations, qualifications, corrections, assessments, and agreements. No presh. I get nervous sharing my feelings, and words impact and behave differently for different people. The spaces between known grains of wood make wood strong.
I wasnât sure if my brother would be a grain or a space. Heâs the first person to admit he doesnât read much and would rather talk on the phone or hash things out in person. Before sharing this, I called him up and said, âIâm about to send you a piece of writing. You donât have to read the whole thing. You can always âCtl. Fâ and look for âbrother.ââ
Hereâs what he wrote:
FYI, I don't really like you writing somewhat rude things about me and my house (which I take as jabs towards my wife and kids), etc. I don't do that towards you. I know there was some nice stuff too⌠I am communicating by e-mail as I know email is your preferred method, but at some point you need to realize I have feelings and opinions too, and donât share them with everyone.
Right now Iâm looking at 40+ people smoking joints outside the subsidized housing across the street. Wish I had that option. I wonder if their chronic drug use is helping out the health care system â I know they're not paying into it? I was up at 4:05 a.m. today to keep working toward losing that 20 lbs. so I'm not a burden on the system in the future. Learned that from Mom and Dad. I guess sometimes I feel ripped off. Need to get back to work now as I need to pay bills.
Iâm sorry about the hate stuff that one day, you know I don't feel that way.
On another note, is hydroxycut good stuff?
R
He attached a document where he continued the conversation.
I promise to⌠take care of my kids and not cheat on my wife.
Iâve been thinking about⌠how to lose 20 more lbs. so Iâm not dead when my kids are 40.
I feel like I am owed⌠nothing. I donât feel Iâm owed anything. Everyone chooses how to spend their money.
... and gave me prompts of my own.
In unison: Iâve been busy me: working about 12 hours per day if I count commuting and working on my house. you: [
In unison: I save my money for me: the future. I think Iâm responsible for taking care of my own problems instead of hoping someone will help me out if something happens. you: [
In unison: I feel Iâm privileged because me: I had a good Mom, Dad, and brothers growing up. I was never given any money, but having someone in your corner is more valuable. I am in your corner if you are in a pinch, and I know Mom and Dad are too. you: [
Working for a great strong land of love,
D
COLOPHON
Published on tumblr on Thursday, Aug. 10, âThots & Prayersâ is a phone transcript, visual essay, poem, and interactive self-help manual. I edited my brotherâs written response for clarity. My mom took the pictures of my brother and me. My friend Jonathan Ursin took the pictures of me kneeling on the amphitheater stage and laying in the grass with rosary beads. I took the rest. Spanish phrases were proofed by Alè Barrientos. Radio broadcast lines are excerpted from Langston Hughesâ âLet America Be America Again.â Endorsement by Seattle performer Nico Pecans (they/them) / Miss Texas 1988 (she/her) is available. Lines from âJamesâ and âJasonâ are from interviews with James and Jason. PDF with original formatting shared upon request.
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Lisa Lampanelli, Net worth and salary, Her Birthday, Height and Weight.
Lisa Lampanelli, whom her die-hard fans call âComedyâs Lovable Queen of Meanâ, is an American stand-up comedian, actress and insult comic. She is known for her humor that involves racial, ethnic and cultural jokes mostly focused on racial minorities and homosexuals. It has been a matter of discussion about how she gets away with it, and her audience applauds for her outrageously blatant takes on mostly black people and other celebrities. medianet_width = "600"; medianet_height = "250"; medianet_crid = "442568836"; medianet_versionId = "3111299"; After having worked as a journalist for a short while, she stepped into the comic world at age 30 and raised her salary and net worth from the career. (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || ).push({}); Here, you are at right place to know everything about Lisa Lampanelli that might raise your curiosity, like Lisa Lampanelliâs net worth, salary, age, boyfriend and the like.
Lisa Lampanelli
Lisa Lampanelli Net worth, salary.
Starting her career as a journalist, Lisa Lampanelli switched over to stand up comedy and gave the reason for it that she gets to say the ân-wordâ on stage and gets paid for it. The statement is very true, for she earns her salary from appearing in various stand-up comedy show roasts and the source of her net worth is the comic career which has its grounds on her jokes mostly based on black people. She has been a copy editor at âPopular Mechanicsâ and an assistant at âRolling Stoneâ. Lisa has also worked as a journalist for Spy magazine and Hit Parader and earned an ample salary from each. At age 30, she made her comedy break at the roast of actor Chevy Chase, at the New York Friarsâ Club. As she proved herself good and hilarious at making celebrities burn inside, through whatever may be the appearance, she landed on many other roast shows earning her lucrative salaries. Among the celebrities, she took digs on are, Denis Leary, Pamela Anderson, Jeff Foxworthy, Flavor Flav, William Shatner, David Hasselhoff, and Donald Trump. Following her success in roasts, she went on to serve as the Roastmaster for Larry the Cable Guy. Her net worth rose high when her stand-up special, Dirty Girl aired on Comedy Central. As popular as she was becoming, her slurs and insults toward racial minorities were becoming her comedy routine. Her popular statements include, âHow many âHispanicsâ does it take to clean a bathroom? None! Thatâs a niggerâs job!â; âWhat do you call a black woman whoâs had seven abortions? A crime fighter!â Whenever being questioned, she has stated that she has good intentions behind. Lisa Lampanelliâs net worth has risen to more than $4.5 million. Her annual salary is about $350,000.
Lifestyle
Lisa Lampanelli is one of the people who live their life the way they want. In her stand-ups, she often jerks on her physical appearance and has been recently involved in losing the huge amount of weight. About two years ago she made to the news when it was revealed that she lost about 107 pounds of weight. About her eating habits and lifestyle, she says, âItâs always been my passion, my unfortunate âdrug.â I spent 32 years of 56 struggling with this whole issue. When I was younger, I had a great time in high school, my home life was good, but I used food for comfort and for emotional reasons later when I was lonely or missed home. It was a substitute for meâoh, and I never liked drinking.â In an interview about her show âStuffedâ, she talked about her lifestyle saying, âAt first, I was low on energy, so I saw a functional medicine doctorâbody, mind, and spiritâand she helped me determine nutrients I needed and was lacking. Now I eat greens in green juice and smoothies, and I used to make fun of natural and organic foods! I do follow that 80/20 rule so 20 percent of what I eat is to treat myself. I canât eat whole vegetables because of my small stomach, but I love bowls with quinoa and shrimpâ
Boyfriend and Children
Having been there in on and off dating relationships and two failed marriages, Lisa Lampanelli is a person who appears cheerful enough with life who could go for a boyfriend at age of 56. Her previous husband was Jimmy Cannizzaro whom she divorced after being married for about four years. Lisa and the bar owner met in 2006. Though Lisa Lampanelli is known for her crude and often offensive humor, her hex husband Jimmy Cannizzaro told the New York Times magazine at the time of their wedding, âShe had the kindest eyes.â Must be love, right? We believe he would have been a good boyfriend, but that might not have been enough for their marriage.
Lisa Lampanelli with her ex husband James Stock
Before Cannizzaro, Lisa had married her boyfriend, James Stock at the age of 28. Her marriage with former her husband James lasted for about a year only. Lisa Lampanelli has no children.
Lisa Lampanelli with her ex husband James Stock
How old is Lisa Lampanelli? Her Age, Birthday, Birthplace.
Lisa Lampanelli has her birthday on July 19, 1961, at Trumbull, Connecticut, the U.S. Her birth name was Lisa Marie Lampugnale. Her present age is 56 and her zodiac sign being Cancer.
Bio
Name Lisa Lampanelli Age 56 Birthday July 19, 1961 Birthplace Trumbull, Connecticut, U.S. Nationality American Height 1.75 m Weight 141.7 pounds Spouse Divorced Parents Leonard and Gloria Lampugnale Children None Trending. Cheap Celebrities Who Are Terrible Tippers Rich Celebrities Who Live Humble Lives Celebrities Who Are Incredibly Generous Tippers. No 8 might surprise you. Best Animal Shows that You will Love. Celebrities Who Drive Most Expensive Cars In The World Read the full article
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27 Various Ways To Do Washington Botanical Garden | washington botanical garden
In this day and time, we booty for accepted the availability and assortment of the abounding fruits and vegetables attainable to us. We accept they were, and consistently will be, readily available. We no best eat âin seasonâ because back the division ends in our region, added seasons are alpha abroad that will accommodate the aforementioned product, generally with little or no interruption.
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What we tend to balloon is that abounding of the plants, copse and shrubs that we accede accepted today are not built-in to our country. The affluence that we so calmly adore today is the aftereffect of abounding years of analysis and experimentation.
In a burghal abounding of history, abounding arenât acquainted of the allotment our arena played in the addition of new plants to the Americas. What is now accepted as the Coastal Georgia Botanical Area at the Historic Bamboo Acreage was one of alone eight Bulb Addition Stations in the U.S., acclimated to abstraction the addition of fruits, basics and added alien vegetables into the country.
Itâs absolutely arresting to anticipate that a little acreage on U.S. 17 could be a allotment of our aliment history, and it all came about because a self-described âchore boyâ saw the accent of a acreage of bamboo.
In the backward 1800s a affluent apple adventurer and philanthropist, Barbour Lathrop, met David Fairchild, a botanist. Lathrop abiding Fairchild to become a bulb charlatan and financed abounding of Fairchildâs explorations. At the age of 22, Fairchild created the Section of Foreign Seed and Bulb Addition of the United States Department of Agriculture, and for the abutting 37 years, he catholic the apple in chase of plants of abeyant use to the American people.
Fairchild is accustomed for introducing added than 200,000 new plants into the U.S. Those plants accommodate pistachios, mangoes, nectarines, dates, quinoa, kale, avocados and bamboo varieties.
In 1915, Fairchild accustomed a ârather illiterateâ letter from a man in Savannah who had heard of Fairchildâs absorption in bamboo. This man, frequently accepted as Col. Drayton, told Fairchild that he was affairs bamboo shoots from a bracken abutting to Savannah to a few bounded restaurants. Fairchild doubted the authority of the letter, abnormally the allotment about affairs bamboo to restaurants. Not abounding Americans were bistro bamboo in 1915.
He put the letter abreast and forgot about it. Sometime later, Col. Drayton showed up at Fairchildâs appointment in Washington with bamboo shoots. Drayton explained that the bamboo grove, amid about 12.5 afar west of Savannah, was activity to be awash and he was abashed the new owners would abort the bamboo. Fairchild, interested, but still skeptical, had addition go and analysis out the grove.
Upon acquirements that the bracken was absolutely real, Fairchild was absorbed on extenuative it. Fairchild contacted his acquaintance Lathrop and jokingly asked if he capital to buy a bamboo bracken in Savannah. Lathrop had no admiration to own a bracken of bamboo, but agreed to buy it and accomplishment it to the USDA for beginning purposes. The acreage was purchased in November 1918 and on Jan. 1, 1919, the official history of the bamboo acreage began.
On Jan. 23, the Friends of the Coastal Area will be blame off a yearlong Centennial Celebration of the Historic Bamboo Acreage and Area with a bologna at the The DeSoto Savannah. Walter E. Campbell, a Savannah built-in and historian, will present an all-embracing history of the bamboo gardens, including the affiliation amid the DeSoto and the Gardens.Â
If you fabricated a New Yearâs resolution to eat healthier, again you can acknowledge the backward David Fairchild. Here are some recipes that use the foods he alien and arenât too bad on the waistline!
Teri Bell is co-owner of Miss Sophieâs Marketplace at the Mighty Eighth in Pooler. Go to sophiesmarketplace.com.
IF YOU GO
What: Centennial Celebration of the Historic Bamboo Acreage and Gardens
When: Noon Jan. 23
Where: The DeSoto Savannah, 15 E. Liberty St.
Cost: $50 at friendsofthecoastalgardens.org by Jan. 18, or until awash out
Washington Park Arboretum | University of Washington ⌠â washington botanical garden | washington botanical garden
Speaker: Walter E. Campbell, a Savannah built-in and historian, on history of the bamboo gardens, including the affiliation amid the DeSoto and the Gardens.
Mango Lassi
A Lassi is an Indian yogurt alcohol abundant like our smoothie. This Lassi contains a mango, which is one of David Fairchildâs introductions to the U.S.
Ingredients:
⢠1 cup apparent or boilerplate yogurt
â˘Â ½ cup milk
⢠1 cup actual accomplished (or frozen) mango, chopped
⢠4 teaspoons sugar, to taste
⢠Dash of arena cardamom
Directions:
1. Put mango, yogurt, milk, amoroso and cardamom into a blender and alloy for 2 minutes.
2. Sprinkle with a tiny compression of arena cardamom to serve.
3. Can be air-conditioned for up to 24 hours.
Lemon-Garlic Kale Salad
This bloom combines two foods that David Fairchild alien to America, kale and Meyer lemon. After Fairchild affiliated one of Alexander Graham Bellâs daughters, he bound his biking and assassin added botanists to analyze the apple for abeyant cultivators. One of those botanists was Frank Meyer, who brought a auto from China that now bears his name. Recipe acclimatized from NYT Cooking.
Ingredients:
Lavendar, Field, Green, Closeup â washington botanical garden | washington botanical garden
⢠2 cups broken almonds
⢠â
cup afresh awkward Meyer auto abstract (from 2 to 4 lemons)
⢠Kosher salt
⢠1 ½ cups extra-virgin olive oil
⢠4 cloves garlic, ashamed with the collapsed ancillary of a knife, bald and larboard whole
⢠10 to 12 ounces done and broiled kale leaves, blubbery stems removed
⢠1 ½ cups afresh grated Parmesan
Directions:
1. In a toaster oven or skillet, acknowledgment almonds until aureate amber and fragrant. Set abreast to cool.
2. In a bowl, amalgamate auto abstract and 1 heaping teaspoon salt. Slowly barrel in olive oil. Add garlic cloves and set abreast to steep.
3. Working in batches, cut the kale into attenuate ribbons: accumulate a ample scattering of leaves, agglomeration calm tightly, and use the added duke to allotment into Âź-inch-thick pieces, array of like a slaw.
4. Place chopped kale in a actual ample bowl. Sprinkle apparent with almonds and cheese. Remove and abandon garlic cloves from dressing. Pour bisected the bathrobe over the bloom and toss. Taste and add alkali as needed, casting to covering thoroughly. Serve aural 1 hour.
Spinach, Quinoa and Avocado Salad
Quinoa and avocados were both alien by David Fairchild, but quinoa didnât booty off until a aeon later. Today, both foods are advised ability foods.
Ingredients:
Salad
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⢠1 cup quinoa, adapted according to directions
⢠8 ounces beginning blooming tomatoes, cut in half
⢠1 ample cucumber, chopped
â˘Â Âź cup red onion, cautiously chopped
⢠5 ounces beginning spinach
⢠2 ample accomplished avocados, chopped
⢠1/3 cup feta cheese
Dressing
⢠4 tablespoons red wine vinegar
⢠2 tablespoons Dijon mustard
⢠1 teaspoon broiled oregano
⢠1 abysm garlic, minced
â˘Â ½ cup olive oil or canola oil
⢠1 auto (2-3 tablespoons beginning auto juice)
⢠Alkali and pepper
Directions:
United States Botanic Garden â Wikiwand â washington botanical garden | washington botanical garden
1. In a jar with a lid, add all the bathrobe ingredients. Shake able-bodied and set aside.
2. In a ample bowl, add in all the veggies and quinoa. Bung all capacity and top with feta cheese, if desired.
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Worms As A Food Source For Human Beings
Another thing that our company eagerly anticipate throughout the X-mas time is actually the little things our fituroda-Poradnikrafala.Info team can get from our X-mas stocking dangled due to the hearth. The greatest you could say is actually that this was actually the kind of junk people wrote in those days, as well as various other males at wonderful dinner celebrations had the tendency to agree with that, and also skip including Women all like me. However that is actually an old story: spare, naturally, the abortions one of all of them, the emancipated ones, those which lack the wherewithal to possess little ones. Yet considering that many people don't automatically like to cook or have the time you are provided with a business possibility. Concurrently, high-powered gadgets motivate individuals to maintain moving, therefore supporting a much healthier way of life. If you are a first time manager and also do unknown adequate regarding the young puppies, at that point you may inquire the puppies for sale individuals for assistance, given that that is their duty in order to help you get an excellent dog-friend yourself.
Patricia Bannan, MS, RD, is a free-lance writer, constant attendee expert on updates series and author from "Eat Right When Opportunity Is Tight." She is actually zealous concerning assisting people meet their health and wellness and also wellness targets. Therefore yeah, LG plainly spent a bunch of focus on the G6's show - regrettable it didn't devote as a lot time on the phone's sound. For every year an individual is homeless, the odds of all of them having a family physician visit 9 per-cent, inning accordance with a report by St. Michael's Healthcare facility and also Street Wellness. When you're caught dealing with little ones this holiday season, you can either view Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer for the umpteenth time, or even you might keep up with the moments as well as resort to YouTube. With 22% income growth in 2016 as well as 23% this year, the solutions sector is now the second-largest profits source from the provider. However, this needs to be kept in mind that not all ecotourism may be evaluated the exact same, each provider and eco-holiday will have its own unique collection from weak points and also advantages concerning its ecological goodwill. Right now more than ever, Apple View is the supreme unit for a well-balanced lifestyle as well as is actually presently making a huge difference in our clients' lifestyles. For the majority of people though some of these DVD recorders are going to become user-friendly after a few days therefore while this greats this isn't critical.
Around every one of our Companies offerings, the number of paid for registrations reached over 210 million in the end of September one-fourth, an increase of 25 thousand in the final 90 days. While these different games shouldn't use up much time, do not fear to invest the 1st day from the venture only on possessing individuals get to know each other. Bolivian farmer Carmelo Flores produced headlines when he credited his 123 years to a conventional Andean diet plan of superfoods, like quinoa, mushrooms and coca However baseding upon HuffPost blog writer and nutritionist Andy Bellatti, it isn't really the individual foods that likely added to Flores' long life - it is actually simply the lack from modern, refined meals The thought that simply consuming a superfood is actually the key to wellness is actually foolish and reductionist if one's diet is actually typically mostly made up of highly-processed as well as processed foodstuff," composed Bellatti in a post. Sometimes it believes that people just respect the most up to date famous personality gossip and also what is actually currently trending on social media sites. Truth: Google lists over of 12,000,000 web sites delivering advice on how you can begin a company - but the number of I think about originate from people which've actually performed it for themselves. First is actually: "How do I prevent doves from my garden?" I individual passion the doves as well as could certainly not determine why folks do not want all of them and also's a whole other short article. Baseding on really good sources, Amazon.com is no more outsourcing much from its own customer service job to iSky. Having said that, a lot of house owners in rural areas have more than enough space for this, and if zoning and neighbors enable this, at that point you have actually got an organisation suggestion in a backwoods that could get adequate cash that can help maintain your loved ones and your poultries.
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'Gwyneth glows like a radioactive swan' â my day at the Goop festival | Life and style
Culver City, Los Angeles, is socked in by haze, and a line of women in black athleisure â more blondes than one is accustomed to seeing in one place at one time â stretches down the block. Each has paid between $500 and $1500 (ÂŁ390 and ÂŁ1,175) to stand in this line and attend In Goop Health: Presented by Goop, the inaugural âhealth and wellness expoâ of Gwyneth Paltrowâs lifestyle brand, Goop.
People are excited, a little nervous and giddy. It feels as if we are waiting for the bus to summer camp, if your summer camp gives out free lube and Nicole Richie is there. At 9am the beefy security team parts and we pour into a courtyard where employees sort us into more lines based on how much we have paid to be here. Colour-coded bracelets indicate whether you are a Lapis ($500), Amethyst ($1,000) or Clear Quartz ($1,500) Gooper. More money means more activities: a foam roller workout, a âsound bathâ, even lunch with âGPâ herself in the âCollagen Gardenâ. Apparently, a prohibitively expensive, celebrity-studded self-help salon isnât exclusive enough: the very rich canât have fun without a little class hierarchy.
We pass into a second courtyard, which offers clusters of tasteful white furniture ringed by a variety of âwellness adventuresâ. In one corner, you can sit cross-legged on a cushion and the âresident Goop shamanâ will tell you which crystal you âneedâ. In the opposite corner is a woman who will photograph your aura in a little tent. There is an oxygen bar and an IV drip station. And there is food, of course, just in very small pieces: tiny vegan doughnuts, quinoa and lox swaddled in seaweed, ladles of unsalted bone broth, fruit.
I take a lap of the courtyard and the cavernous hangar where we will be spending the next nine hours (there is no re-entry). Inside, interspersed among the Goop-approved matcha and coconut-water stalls, is the Goop Marketplace, where attendees can buy face potions, rolling pins and Tory Burchâs new line of active wear. For $55, you can buy one of the jade eggs that Goop famously suggested women carry around in their vaginas. Or, a rose quartz egg, if you have âseen results with the jade egg and want to take your practice a step furtherâ. I head back outside and get in line for the shaman.
Probiotic juices are flowing. Photograph: Kolasinski/BFA/Rex/Shutterstock
Turns out, the shaman is a little backed up, so they are scheduling appointments instead. A friendly employee writes my name on a clipboard and tells me to come back at 4.05pm. The line for aura photography is even longer. I wait about 10 minutes before a staffer announces that the schedule is full and we are all fired from the line, but we can check back later. Thatâs fine. Everyone is feeling good. Employees weave through the crowd with trays of probiotic juice. I decide I like the Goop expo. It is silly, but most of us seem to be in on the joke â like Dungeons and Dragons for your vaginal flora. Why not?
I donât believe that my proximity to crystals (or lack thereof) has any effect on my wellbeing, but I donât think it is interesting or sophisticated to mock people who do. These women are having fun. They are sitting on pillows and connecting with each other. It is the kind of spontaneously intimate conversation that happens among women all the time, dressed up in the language of magic and, sure, monetised.
As long as you are not promising miracles and swapping carnelian for childhood vaccines, organising your inner life around crystals doesnât seem much different than organising it around âbullet journallingâ. There is a line, of course, between having fun with rocks and exploiting peopleâs fears for profit, and I am expecting to approach that soon enough.
I wander back inside and there she is, gliding through the Bulletproof Coffee line like our priestess. Here is just a true fact: Gwyneth glows like a radioactive swan. She emits light. She would be great in a power outage. Though the FAQ specifically directed attendees to wear athleisure (with a link to the Goop storeâs athleisure page â just to be helpful!), Gwyneth appears to be wearing a sirocco of flower petals. She leads us, her flock, into the auditorium and the real show begins.
After a brief history of Goop (âI started to wonder: Why do we all not feel well? Why is there so much cancer? Why are we all so tired?â), Paltrow introduces her personal physician, Dr Habib Sadeghi, DO. He talks for an hour about âcosmic flowâ; his left testicle; the âmagnificenceâ of Gwyneth (âIâve been down and Iâve touched her feet ⌠and Iâll do it againâ); and his belief that âconsciousness precedes phenotypic expressionâ, which means, basically, that all ailments are on some level psychosomatic and your ovarian cysts are really just little nodules of emotion â or something.
Women connecting with themselves. Photograph: Salangsang/BFA/Rex/Shutterstock
The next panel, on gut health, counters Sadeghiâs consciousness theory with the assertion that all human illnesses are caused by antibiotics, ibuprofen, caesarean sections and legumes. The human gut is a rich rainforest, they say. Antibiotics are ânapalmâ, and taking one ibuprofen is âlike swallowing a hand grenadeâ. Someone relates an anecdote about a marathon runner who had to get a faecal transplant from her fat niece, and it made the marathon runner fat. In mice, faecal transplants have been found to make fat mice thin, and anxious mice calm. Oh, my God, I realise. Paltrow is going to start selling her own poop.
Dr Steven Gundry, author of The Plant Paradox, reveals that from January to June inclusive, he consumes all his calories between 6pm and 8pm, because âwe evolved to search for food all day and then fastâ. Itâs funny how our understanding of human evolution â of the point at which we were once our truest selves â can shift according to which restrictive diet is on-trend that day. Next to each of our chairs is a complementary bottle of hot-pink, watermelon-flavoured water, sickly-sweet with Stevia. You know, just like the cavemen used to drink.
Gundry argues that human beings arenât meant to eat any plants native to North America, because we are native to âAfrica, Europe and Asiaâ. At one point, Dr Amy Myers casually distinguishes between the gut bacteria Asian people need (because âtheyâ eat a lot of seaweed) and the gut bacteria that âweâ need. You donât have to glance around the room to know who âweâ are.
In Goop Health is shockingly white â even to me, a blond, white person who went in expecting whiteness. Obviously, this is anecdotal â I havenât conducted a census â but I donât recall seeing more than 10 people of colour among the attendees, and thatâs a generous estimate. The panellists are almost exclusively white. I wonder if anyone at Goop brought up the lack of diversity in their speakers during the planning stages, or anticipated this criticism. But to acknowledge it would be to acknowledge politics, and In Goop Health stays as far away from politics as it can get.
Lindy West at Goop in Health. Photograph: Lindy West
However, an event supposedly focused âon being and achieving the optimal versions of ourselvesâ, as Paltrow put it during her welcome address, cannot truly be depoliticised. You canât honestly address âwellnessâ â the things people need to be well â without addressing poverty and systemic racism, disability access and affordable healthcare, paid family leave and food insecurity, contraception and abortion, sex work and the war against drugs and mass incarceration. Unless, of course, you are only talking about the wellness of people whose lives are untouched by all of those forces. That is, the wellness of people who are disproportionately well already.
Towards the end of his speech, Sadeghi tells a story about an epiphany he had in the anatomy lab. He says he discovered that the first valve of the heart flows straight back into the heart: âSelfish little organ there! No, no, not selfish â self-honouring. Wooo! What a difference! I could never give anything to anybody â ask my beloved wife â until I take care of me. Until my needs are met. Right? Right? When you fly down, the first thing that they tell you is that before you put the mask on anybody else, put it on yourself.â
I hear that idea repeated over and over again at the Goop conference â take care of yourself so you can take care of others. Put your mask on first. Hold space for yourself. Be entitled. Take. At a certain point, it begins to feel less like self-care and more like rationalisation. I donât know anything about the personal lives of the women at In Goop Health â who they give money to, what hardships they have endured, why they were drawn to this event â and every person I interact with is funny and smart and kind and self-aware. But it is self-evident and measurable that white people in the US, in general, are assiduous about the first part of that equation (caring for ourselves) and less than attentive to the second (caring for others).
It is OK to love skin cream and crystals. It is normal and forgivable to be afraid of dying, afraid of cancer, afraid of losing your youth and beauty and the currency they confer. We have no other currency for women. I understand why people spend their lives searching for that one magic supplement, that one bit of lore that will turn their âlifestyleâ around and make them small and perfect and valuable for ever. I also understand, especially at this moment in history, why people long to step outside of politics for a day and eat kale-flavoured ice cream (real, not satire, actually good) in a warehouse full of Galadriels. But the idea that anything is apolitical is an illusion accessible only to a very few. And the absolute least the Galadriel-in-chief ought to do is acknowledge that.
The kale-flavoured ice-cream was actually good. Photograph: Lindy West
At 4.05pm I dash outside for my shaman appointment, only to be told they are running about an hour behind. âShould I come back in an hour,â I ask. âI mean, you could try,â the woman says in a way that means, âNoâ, or maybe, âNot with that braceletâ.
For her keynote to close the day, Paltrow purports to dissect the complexities and woes of being a working mother with a panel of famous gal pals: Cameron Diaz, Tory Burch, Nicole Richie and Miranda Kerr. How do they do it? How do they have it all? The women deliver a bounty of platitudes about ambition, female friendship, self-care, their mothers and sticking to oneâs âpracticeâ. They are charming and humble. Richie is funny. But at no point do any of them say the words: âI HAVE LOTS AND LOTS OF MONEY AND A STAFF.â In the context of a conversation about the challenges facing working mothers, the omission is, frankly, bizarre. It is a basic responsibility of the privileged to refrain from taking credit for our own good fortune. They might as well have been reading from Ivanka Trumpâs book proposal. As with all the other panels, they do not take questions.
There is one moment I canât stop thinking about. Near the end, Kerr casually mentions that she once tried leech therapy as part of her wellness practice: âOne was on my coccyx because itâs really good to, like, detox the body, rejuvenate the body ⌠I had a leech facial as well. And I kept the leeches. Theyâre in my koi pond.â
I am fat. I was the fattest person at the Goop expo. Strangers regularly contact me to tell me that Iâm unhealthy and Iâm going to die. A sampler from my emails:
âBeing obese is NOT OK. It is associated with many health risks including: diabetes, high blood pressure, cardiovascular disease, and premature death. Go lose some weight you fat slob, and do it before you go on disability so we donât have to pay for you.â
âI donât know what sort of message you are trying to send out to young girls/women, but that it is OK to be obese, and it is some sort of feminist sin to want to keep to a natural healthy shape canât be a good one.â
Kerrâs body is almost certainly what those people mean when they say âa natural healthy shapeâ, because our society conflates conventional beauty with health. But, I donât know â I might be fat, but Iâve never felt like I needed to get an IV drip on a patio in Culver City or put leeches on my butt to suck out toxins, and Iâm grateful for that.
I guess Goop did make me feel well after all.
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17 Easy Rules Of Botanical Gardens Atlanta Ga Hours | botanical gardens atlanta ga hours
In this day and time, we booty for accepted the availability and assortment of the abounding fruits and vegetables attainable to us. We accept they were, and consistently will be, readily available. We no best eat âin seasonâ because back the division ends in our region, added seasons are alpha abroad that will accommodate the aforementioned product, generally with little or no interruption.
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What we tend to balloon is that abounding of the plants, copse and shrubs that we accede accepted today are not built-in to our country. The affluence that we so calmly adore today is the aftereffect of abounding years of analysis and experimentation.
In a burghal abounding of history, abounding arenât acquainted of the allotment our arena played in the addition of new plants to the Americas. What is now accepted as the Coastal Georgia Botanical Area at the Historic Bamboo Acreage was one of alone eight Bulb Addition Stations in the U.S., acclimated to abstraction the addition of fruits, basics and added alien vegetables into the country.
Itâs absolutely arresting to anticipate that a little acreage on U.S. 17 could be a allotment of our aliment history, and it all came about because a self-described âchore boyâ saw the accent of a acreage of bamboo.
In the backward 1800s a affluent apple adventurer and philanthropist, Barbour Lathrop, met David Fairchild, a botanist. Lathrop abiding Fairchild to become a bulb charlatan and financed abounding of Fairchildâs explorations. At the age of 22, Fairchild created the Section of Foreign Seed and Bulb Addition of the United States Department of Agriculture, and for the abutting 37 years, he catholic the apple in chase of plants of abeyant use to the American people.
Fairchild is accustomed for introducing added than 200,000 new plants into the U.S. Those plants accommodate pistachios, mangoes, nectarines, dates, quinoa, kale, avocados and bamboo varieties.
In 1915, Fairchild accustomed a ârather illiterateâ letter from a man in Savannah who had heard of Fairchildâs absorption in bamboo. This man, frequently accepted as Col. Drayton, told Fairchild that he was affairs bamboo shoots from a bracken abutting to Savannah to a few bounded restaurants. Fairchild doubted the authority of the letter, abnormally the allotment about affairs bamboo to restaurants. Not abounding Americans were bistro bamboo in 1915.
He put the letter abreast and forgot about it. Sometime later, Col. Drayton showed up at Fairchildâs appointment in Washington with bamboo shoots. Drayton explained that the bamboo grove, amid about 12.5 afar west of Savannah, was activity to be awash and he was abashed the new owners would abort the bamboo. Fairchild, interested, but still skeptical, had addition go and analysis out the grove.
Upon acquirements that the bracken was absolutely real, Fairchild was absorbed on extenuative it. Fairchild contacted his acquaintance Lathrop and jokingly asked if he capital to buy a bamboo bracken in Savannah. Lathrop had no admiration to own a bracken of bamboo, but agreed to buy it and accomplishment it to the USDA for beginning purposes. The acreage was purchased in November 1918 and on Jan. 1, 1919, the official history of the bamboo acreage began.
On Jan. 23, the Friends of the Coastal Area will be blame off a yearlong Centennial Celebration of the Historic Bamboo Acreage and Area with a bologna at the The DeSoto Savannah. Walter E. Campbell, a Savannah built-in and historian, will present an all-embracing history of the bamboo gardens, including the affiliation amid the DeSoto and the Gardens.Â
If you fabricated a New Yearâs resolution to eat healthier, again you can acknowledge the backward David Fairchild. Here are some recipes that use the foods he alien and arenât too bad on the waistline!
Teri Bell is co-owner of Miss Sophieâs Marketplace at the Mighty Eighth in Pooler. Go to sophiesmarketplace.com.
IF YOU GO
What: Centennial Celebration of the Historic Bamboo Acreage and Gardens
When: Noon Jan. 23
Where: The DeSoto Savannah, 15 E. Liberty St.
Cost: $50 at friendsofthecoastalgardens.org by Jan. 18, or until awash out
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Speaker: Walter E. Campbell, a Savannah built-in and historian, on history of the bamboo gardens, including the affiliation amid the DeSoto and the Gardens.
Mango Lassi
A Lassi is an Indian yogurt alcohol abundant like our smoothie. This Lassi contains a mango, which is one of David Fairchildâs introductions to the U.S.
Ingredients:
⢠1 cup apparent or boilerplate yogurt
â˘Â ½ cup milk
⢠1 cup actual accomplished (or frozen) mango, chopped
⢠4 teaspoons sugar, to taste
⢠Dash of arena cardamom
Directions:
1. Put mango, yogurt, milk, amoroso and cardamom into a blender and alloy for 2 minutes.
2. Sprinkle with a tiny compression of arena cardamom to serve.
3. Can be air-conditioned for up to 24 hours.
Lemon-Garlic Kale Salad
This bloom combines two foods that David Fairchild alien to America, kale and Meyer lemon. After Fairchild affiliated one of Alexander Graham Bellâs daughters, he bound his biking and assassin added botanists to analyze the apple for abeyant cultivators. One of those botanists was Frank Meyer, who brought a auto from China that now bears his name. Recipe acclimatized from NYT Cooking.
Ingredients:
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⢠2 cups broken almonds
⢠â
cup afresh awkward Meyer auto abstract (from 2 to 4 lemons)
⢠Kosher salt
⢠1 ½ cups extra-virgin olive oil
⢠4 cloves garlic, ashamed with the collapsed ancillary of a knife, bald and larboard whole
⢠10 to 12 ounces done and broiled kale leaves, blubbery stems removed
⢠1 ½ cups afresh grated Parmesan
Directions:
1. In a toaster oven or skillet, acknowledgment almonds until aureate amber and fragrant. Set abreast to cool.
2. In a bowl, amalgamate auto abstract and 1 heaping teaspoon salt. Slowly barrel in olive oil. Add garlic cloves and set abreast to steep.
3. Working in batches, cut the kale into attenuate ribbons: accumulate a ample scattering of leaves, agglomeration calm tightly, and use the added duke to allotment into Âź-inch-thick pieces, array of like a slaw.
4. Place chopped kale in a actual ample bowl. Sprinkle apparent with almonds and cheese. Remove and abandon garlic cloves from dressing. Pour bisected the bathrobe over the bloom and toss. Taste and add alkali as needed, casting to covering thoroughly. Serve aural 1 hour.
Spinach, Quinoa and Avocado Salad
Quinoa and avocados were both alien by David Fairchild, but quinoa didnât booty off until a aeon later. Today, both foods are advised ability foods.
Ingredients:
Salad
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⢠1 cup quinoa, adapted according to directions
⢠8 ounces beginning blooming tomatoes, cut in half
⢠1 ample cucumber, chopped
â˘Â Âź cup red onion, cautiously chopped
⢠5 ounces beginning spinach
⢠2 ample accomplished avocados, chopped
⢠1/3 cup feta cheese
Dressing
⢠4 tablespoons red wine vinegar
⢠2 tablespoons Dijon mustard
⢠1 teaspoon broiled oregano
⢠1 abysm garlic, minced
â˘Â ½ cup olive oil or canola oil
⢠1 auto (2-3 tablespoons beginning auto juice)
⢠Alkali and pepper
Directions:
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1. In a jar with a lid, add all the bathrobe ingredients. Shake able-bodied and set aside.
2. In a ample bowl, add in all the veggies and quinoa. Bung all capacity and top with feta cheese, if desired.
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