#Pri Tuition

[hiiikiko]

𝖈𝖆𝖚𝖌𝖍𝖙 𝖎𝖓 𝖞𝖔𝖚𝖗 𝖜𝖊𝖇

[1: spider-man’s more awkward than i thought..”]

spiderman!ellie x reader | tlou m.list

synopsis: ellie is in your biology class, she’s the quiet teachers assistant, who also happens to double as your agency’s part time photographer, but you notice that lately she’s been acting strange..

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

You never really noticed her before, to you, she was just the nerdy TA and your agency’s assistant photographer but right now, you needed her to be your saviour. You were failing your biology class, a side effect of how many modelling gigs you’ve picked up to pay your tuition but what good was paying your tuition if you couldn’t even pass your classes? That’s how you ended up practically begging Ellie to tutor you.

“God, please, Williams,” you sighed, taking her hand in yours, “I’ll do anything! I’ll even pay you or I could speak to the agency—.”

“I-it’s fine, Y/l/n, I can do it,” she pried her hand out of yours and nodded, “Just put in a good word with your boss, yeah?”

You practically jump when she says that, “Oh thank you, thank you so much! Um, do you have my number?”

Ellie bashfully nods, “Uh, yeah, I have all the model’s numbers..”

You nod, “Okay, cool! Let’s meet at my place tonight, yeah? Maybe around 6? I’ll send you the location and the door code.”

Ellie straightens up, “Uhh.. can’t do six.. can we do it earlier? Maybe 4..?”

She looks a little nervous about asking, her eyebrows are furrowed and she’s staring into your eyes, anxiously waiting for your response, “Oh.. yeah that’s cool!”

With that, you go your separate ways.

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

At your apartment, you prep it for your visitor, shoving your clothes into your laundry hamper, putting out some snacks, straightening up your ‘living room,’ it wasn’t really a living room, given that you lived in a small studio apartment, it was really just a corner of your apartment with a couch, rug, and coffee table. Come on, it was New York and you’re a college student! This is as good as it’ll get for now.

Just as you’re folding a blanket, you hear a thud against the glass door leading out to your balcony. Just as you’re about to take a step towards it to inspect it.. ding dong! You jump a bit, forgetting all about the peculiar sound and making your way towards your front door. Peaking through the peephole, you see Ellie, she’s awkwardly rubbing the back of her neck, camera bag resting on her shoulder and her bangs messily in her face.

“Hey,” you smile and open the door to let her in, “Uh, make yourself at home.”

“T-thanks,” she nods, taking off her shoes and putting her bag down, “Nice place you got.. very, uh, homey. Oh, you a fan of Spider-man?” She nods at the Spider-Man poster on your wall and the Spider-Man t-shirt you’re wearing.

You giggle at her attempt at making small talk, “Thanks, can I get you anything? Water.. soda.. tea..? And, yeah, I know it’s kinda ‘fan girly’ of me but he’s just so fuckin’ cool, y’know? ”

“I’ll take a water,” she sits down on your couch, she looks really tired, not sleepy tired but she looks like she just fought Captain America.

“Shall we get started,” you place the glass in front of her and sit on the floor, the fluffy rug underneath aiding as a cushion, she nods and the two of you get to work.

The first few tutoring sessions went just like that, they were stiff and awkward but eventually, you realized that Ellis isn’t just a nerd that occasionally takes your pictures, she’s also really funny and is actually a really good teacher, she’s patient but doesn’t treat you like you’re dumb. She talks you through the formulas and makes sure you understand each chapter by quizzing you. She’s actually not awkward about this after all, she seems confident when she’s talking about cells. Watching her is nice, her eyes light up when she gets to a chapter that she is obviously interested in and a small smile falters on her lips. You never really realized it before but not only is she really smart, she’s also REALLY hot. Like, the way her veiny arms l flex when she reaches over for her glass of water, the veins flexing under her tattoo, the way she gazes at you through her eyelashes, and her smirk when she gently teases you for getting a problem wrong.

On one particular tutoring session, the rain pattered heavy against the thin glass on your balcony doors, creating a serene, almost cozy atmosphere. You and Ellie were sitting close together on the floor, a thick textbook resting on the coffee table in front of you, you could feel her breath against your neck and her voice was deep and raspy, almost like she’d been out in the rain earlier, and—

“Hey, you with me?” Ellie waves a hand in front of your face, “Hm, maybe we should stop here for now, yeah? It’s getting la— shit, it’s 7?!”

Your expression fell at the thought of her leaving, so you thought ‘fuck it’ as you decided to try and get her to ‘sleep over.’

Ellie scrambled to get on her feet, grabbing her bag and putting her battered converse on, “Oh, you’re leaving? But it’s pouring out there, wanna spend the night?” You graze her arm with your hand, you know it’s wrong to wanna sleep with your TA and your coworker but.. it had been so long since you got any.. and shit, how could you stop yourself now? You could feel her lean muscles underneath her baggy jacket.. you had no idea she even worked out.

Ellie’s eyes flicker to your hand, almost like she was considering it, “S-sorry.. I really gotta go, see ya Friday, yeah?”

And before you could say anything else to try and convince her to stay, she was out the door and you could hear her footsteps echoing down the stairwell.

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

“The nerve that girl has!” You throw your hands up, “She didn’t even consider it.. I mean, look at me! An up and coming model offers you the night of her life, you say yes!”

Your friends nod in agreement, “I just don—.” Just as you’re about to make another comment, you see Ellie come into the lecture hall, a band-aid on her eyebrow, ouch. What in the world could have happened between 7 p.m. and this morning?

Your friends turn to see what’s got your tongue, then one of them speaks up, “Haven’t you heard? She is always getting weird scratches.. a guy in my last class said that she tends to get in a lot of fights, crazy, right?”

Ellie gets into fights? You scoff at the idea, no way, she’s the most gentle person you know, you can barely feel her touch when she adjusts your hair during shoots, besides she’s way too awkward, you can imagine her trying to talk herself out of a beating, no way. Right?

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

During that night’s tutoring session, you ask her about the bandaid, “Oh,” her hand darts to her forehead, “This? I, uh, got it when I fell off my skateboard..”

Convincing enough, right? But the tone in which she said it betrayed her statement, damn, she was a shitty liar.

“Hm,” you hum, still not completely convinced.

Ellie’s eyes rest on yours for a moment before going back to this week’s chapter. Usually, you could focus pretty well but right now all you wanted was to ask her more about the cut, right as you’re about to bug her again, she interrupts you with a question of her own. “Hey, uh, are you booked for that shoot on Sunday?”

You can tell she’s trying her best to act as nonchalant as possible but the way she’s nervously tapping her pencil against the textbook, the way her teeth gently bite her soft pink lips, and the way her eyes look like a deer caught in headlights betray her rather calm tone.

“Yeah, didn’t Regina tell you? She booked me a few weeks ago, something about how they want a ‘fresh young face’ or whatever,” you on the other hand, have mastered the art of being nonchalant, your voice calm and your eyes never leaving the paper of your textbook.

“R-really?” Ellie looks like a puppy who’s owner just shook a bag of treats before forgetting she’s supposed to be feign the whole ‘mysterious loner’ shtick, “I mean, uh, cool, cool. I’m gonna be there too, so, uh.. yeah.”

“Mhm,” the rest of the night carries on like nothing happened, Ellie continues teaching and you continue ‘listening,’ which was a little hard because your eyes kept drifting to her eyebrows again.

There’s something about her that you just don’t get.. if those rumours are true, which you highly doubt because look at her, she’s smiling while talking about RNA… be so for real right now, there’s no way BUT if it is true, why is she so gentle? Sure, she’s clumsy but her personality, she’s not hostile, hell, she blushes whenever you graze her hand. You know how the rumour mill works and it doesn’t just churn out baseless rumours, most have some kind of truth to them, so, how did someone make one about Ellie being so violent, you wonder.

“Uh, Y/n?” Ellie’s eyes move towards the balcony doors, “Can you, uh, please stop staring? You’re making me nervous..”

Your face erupts in a blush, the sweet red colour creeping up your neck, coating your ears, and finally, sweeping over your face, “S-sorry, just spaced out.. haven’t been getting much sleep, you know?”

Ellie nods, “Yeah.. I get it.. neighbours arguing a lot ‘nd stuff, right?”

You nod before realizing, “I never told you that.”

Ellie lets out a forced chuckle, “Uh, you did! Well, you didn’t tell me directly, just heard you say it… God, please believe me, I’m not stalking you, I just heard you say in passing, I swe—. Um. I should go, it’s getting late..”

“Huh, it’s only 6..?” You stand up with her, hoping she doesn’t leave so soon.

“Sorry, but I really should—?”

You grab onto her bulky jacket, tugging on the sleeve a bit, causing it to slip down her shoulder a bit and reveal her shirt underneath, huh, it looked like…

“Hey,” she blurts out and straightens out her jacket, “Wh—?”

“Oh my god, is that a spider-man tshirt?” You jump up, a smile creeping onto your face.

Ellie is washed with relief, “Uh, yeah! Gotta love the, uh, the guy, right?”

Nodding you say, “Totally! You should’ve said something sooner, I’m like his biggest fan, I even have an, allegedly, signed poster of him!”

Ellie’s ears burn bright, “R-really? Can I see it?”

You scramble to your room and pull out a small signed flyer, “See?”

Ellie gently holds it then she snorts and mutters, “Yeah, that’s not real.”

Your expression falters, “Wh-what? As if you’d know,” you pull it from her grip, your pride hurt and internally kicking yourself for spending so much on what could be a damn knock off.

“Oh, I think I’d know a thing or two about ‘Spider-Man’,” she chuckles.

“What does that mean,” you shoot her a glare.

“Oh, nothing.. I just, uh, met him” Ellie is scrambling for any way to cover up her loud mouth.

“No way, really?!” You jump up.

“Y-yeah, a few times actually.. back in my first year of college, he let me take some pictures of him a few times for the paper.”

You squeal and begin to bombard her with questions, “What was he like? Is he tall? How does he sound? Wh—?”

Ellie is patient with you and answers all of your questions, stretching she takes a look at the clock and jumps up, “Fuck, I really should get going, it’s rainy and the parade is tomorrow and that means more cr —.”

“More, what?”

“Uh, more cramped subways!” (Ellie is internally patting herself on the back for coming up with a word that begins with ‘cr’ instead of saying criminals.)

“Oh, alright.. see ya.”

Ellie is out the door quicker than you could say ‘your friendly neighborhood spider-man.’

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

It’s the day of the parade and everyone’s spirits are high. Today, everyone is celebrating the election of the new city mayor. There will be a parade, drone show, and a market. Even you’re excited. You and your friends are making your way through the crowded streets when you bump into Abby, your ex. She must be here for her family, Abby’s family was widely renowned. Her dad isn’t just a highly esteemed surgeon, he’s also CEO of Oscorp and has very close ties to the city officials. You don’t really want any drama, so you pass by without giving as much as a nod.

“Hey, Y/n,” you hear through the crowds, a groan leaving your lips before looking up and meeting green eyes instead of blue ones.

“Ellie! What’re you doing here? I thought you would hate this kinda stuff.’

She holds up her camera, “Just takin’ photos, the Daily Bugle needs some front page stuff and they assigned it to me.”

“Oh, very cool,” you smile, “S—,” Just as you’re about to ask her if she wants to check out the stands with you, you feel a hand grip your shoulder, it’s Abby, fuck.

“Hey, Y/n, long time, huh? Wanna come see my dad, he’s been asking about you, oh, so has Manny.” Before you could reject her, Ellie is already walking away and Abby is steering you to the city hall building.

Abby drones on and on about her latest lacrosse victories and about her latest conquests, you just nod and try to space out. Normally, you wouldn’t go with her but you so desperately wanted to meet with her father. Being in premed meant you need as many connections as possible, so you were hoping Mr. Anderson could give you some pointers.

As the two of you round a corner you feel a rumble then hear a boom.

“What the fuck was that,” Abby stops and runs up the stairs, your feet are frozen in place but you quickly pull them from their cemented state and chase after her, “Abby, stop! It’s too dang—!”

Then came the second boom and suddenly, you felt the ground beneath you crumbling, fuck, this is it, isn’t it? Just as you’re about to accept your fate, you feel hands grip your waist and you’re flying..?

Through the dust, you can make out a red and blue silhouette. “I-it’s you!’

The masked figure looks at you, “Yeah.. i-it’s me.”

Uh, Spider-Man is a lot more awkward than you thought..

[kyunniebuns]

˗ˏˋ Entry : 049 - Lover! Jinwoo x Fem! Reader: Trichotillomania ♡ ˎˊ

ₓ˚. ୭ ˚○◦˚𝕊𝕦𝕟𝕘 𝕁𝕚𝕟𝕨𝕠𝕠˚◦○˚ ୧ .˚ₓ

[ Trichotillomania: Repeated hair pulling habits from stress, anxiety and depression. Do not engage with this fic if you are in a poor mental health state. Familial abuse. Physical abuse. Body Dysmorphia. Depression. Suicidal Ideation. Trichotillomania can be considered as a form of self harm. Other variations of self-harm is in heavy description. Ends in fluff ]

╰┈➤ ❝ [ Just Somewhere to Hide. Just somewhere. Anywhere. ] ¡! ❞

The only thing that's stopping you from ending things right now is that there is a lack of a knife present in your hands.

The kitchen is just a few steps away. Just one thrust into your heart and it's off to the comfortable embrace of death itself.

But you can't risk that, there's no spot in this godforsaken house you're imprisoned in for a peaceful death. Every corner of the walls around you is a death sentence to invite panic attacks in.

Why can't everyone just shut up and leave you be?

It's not like it's your fault you can't get into fucking college because of the tuition fee. Aren't you saving everyone's fucking wallets from that bullshit?

No one should give a fuck about your lack of education, you can enroll by the time the expenses die down.

You shouldn't have been here in the first place anyway. If it weren't for that single night you wouldn't be born.

But ah, life has a wonderful way of fucking up everything.

You grew pampered, with food served to you in rich flavors and huge amounts. You're thankful for that, you're thankful for the lovely childhood.

Oh how you wish to go back to those days.

But do you really?

Childhood may have been lovely but underneath all the glitters and rainbows were belts and hangers and brooms used to discipline you?

Can't spell a word right?

A smack from a fist.

Can't do your math right?

A smack from a hanger.

Can't translate between two languages fast enough?

A smack from the wood of a broom.

Can't do an essay right?

A smack with a belt.

Maybe childhood isn't lovely either.

Where was the place that you could hide yourself away? School.

Yes.

As much as you hated that place for all it's shitty standards it was a safe place. At least there you can pretend, at least there you can have some form of isolation even if you're being bullied and mocked for how you look and your voice sounds.

It's fine that you undergo discrimination and bullying, at least they're not swinging belts and brooms at you. It's just them destroying your self-esteem.

Not like you have any to begin with thanks to your parents who were even more brutal about your appearance that you now have body dysmorphia on tip of depression and anxiety.

Even if school is a place where teachers normalize humiliating students shamelessly for basic wrongdoings that can be corrected with simple warnings.

Even though that place is full of people who only respect you when they need something out of you, even if that place is a paradise for the pretty girls and a hell for those who don't fit the beauty standard— That place felt safer than anywhere else.

All your life you've never been given privacy because of your privilege. You're luckier than your cousins who have it harder, so be thankful.

But at one point you started wishing for your places to be switched. It's fine that you eat food that is burnt and poorly cooked, it's fine that you have to eat shitty food.

If it meant you can have a little more breather instead of getting anxious that you might have done something to earn the belt— It's fine.

You'd rather starve than anything else.

At some point in your life you started to pull your hair out. It started from a few strands. But all of the sudden there are clumps of hair gathered on the floors.

What did you get instead of receiving help?

A beating.

That's right, a beating.

You got your hair yanked, pinned to the floor, and slapped repeatedly on your helpless situation. When your aggressor was pried off of you— You got kicked on your already helpless situation.

In the end who is the one who asks for forgiveness and gaslit that you being pinned down and slapped is justifiable? You.

You.

The helpless you.

The you who isn't allowed to voice your feelings out so you grew to not know how to tell anyone what you really feel, even to the point that you feared telling your feelings is what will doom you into irreversible damage.

You feared your own emotions.

You feared everything you should have been allowed to fear from the years of abuse. The fear bedded into your soul.

Did you want help?

YES.

Fuck yes you did.

What happened instead? You are guilt-tripped into saying no that you don't need a psychiatrist despite the fact you have major social anxiety, severe trichotillomania and heck— You even cut yourself when you can.

Nothing.

Nothing could help you.

Everything is a prison and you yourself are rotten from the inside out.

No one wanted to help you.

Your family?

Right.

They only fucking insist on caring because the image of a severely mentally ill daughter is bad for their image.

Nobody really cared.

Nobody did.

Even if you cry your heart out nobody could help you.

Nobody wanted to help.

No one.

There's no one there.

Not here.

Not there.

Not anywhere.

You're all alone.

In this vast world that you try to paint into a pretty picture in your head— Not one soul wanted to help you.

The embrace of death seems all the more enticing now that you really think about it.

Why fear it?

Death gives you mercy from the agony of living.

Atleast if you're dead— No one ans nothing can hurt you.

You can sleep all you want while your body rots from six feet under.

You've always been rotten anyway.

Dying won't be any different.

Life always ends in slumber, it's about time for you to dream.

⋅ ˚ ₊ ‧ ଳ ‧ ₊ ˚ ⋅ ⋆ ౨ৎ ˚ ⟡ ˖ ࣪

"My liege!" Beru's panicked voice yells out for his master, instantly jolting Jinwoo awake from his small nap after playing a few rounds after homework. "The empress— She's unwell!"

"Exchange"

The command slipped out of Jinwoo's lips in an instant. He knew what was happening.

Even if he doesn't know the full story of what you've been through— He knew the situation is bad as he feels Beru's heightened anxiety.

Jinwoo can technically peer into your memories and see for himself what really happens. But he didn't. He wanted you to tell him what happened in the years you grew up. He wanted you to tell him what pushed you to whatever the hell happened to you today.

He knew about your destructive habits. It was the result of bottling up your emotions for so long that it created a ticking time bomb that will burst at any moment should the right trigger be pulled.

And when Jinwoo finally materializes from the abyss-like wisps of shadows— He would find himself face to face with your figure staring out at the cityscape as you stand on the ledge.

"Stop, wait!" Jinwoo panics, breaking into sweat when he saw you take a stop.

He yanked your arm back in an instant, letting your back crash against his chest. Jinwoo held you firmly as you thrashed and screamed in his hold.

But ah, his strong arms will not let you go.

He refuses to let go. Knowing the moment he does you will take flight and descend to your demise. Still he was hyper aware of his strength, if he so ever squeeze too much and he might kill you.

As you stretched your palm out to yearn for the ledge— Jinwoo uses his to grab hold of yours and pull it back.

"That's not something you should longing for" Jinwoo says, his voice trembling as he uses his other hand to cover your eyes so you wont see it anymore. "A leap of faith is not what you need."

You kept thrashing in his hold, cursing Jinwoo out for daring to interrupt your final farewell.

But soon he would lift his palm up from your eyes.

As your eyesight adjusts back to the waking world— You find yourself no longer on top of the building you were in a second ago.

Instead in front of you is a vast field of grass with blooming flowers swaying back and forth along with the gentle breeze blowing your way.

Once Jinwoo could tell that you're no longer agitated, his hold becomes gentle, and instead he would just hug you from behind as you both sat on the grass.

Your breath was completely taken away by how pretty the sight is. Every single dark thought you had in your little head is instantly washed away by the peaceful and beautiful sight.

The sky itself is majestic, with full and fluffy clouds drifting about and even the stars blinking so prettily along with a meteor shower.

While your gaze is distracted by everything else, Jinwoo's eyes are on you. He could see another bald spot on your head from your hair plucking habits. At the center of it was a huge gaping wound fresh and still bleeding. He blows on it gently, the wound closing instantly and your strands growing back anew as if nothing ever happened in the first place.

"Better?" He finally asks as he nuzzles the side of your head.

"Mhm." You weakly nod, too distracted to really talk properly.

"I know, I know that I can't tell you that everything will get better" Jinwoo holds you softly, holding you tighter. "It'll be stupid for me to try and tell you about rainbows and whatnot."

"..."

"But if you want to run away, if you want to be somewhere far away like this. Just tell me. Don't go hurting yourself, don't think about leaving this world" He goes on.

You can't see him directly, but you knew by the tremble of his voice that he must be crying. And yet Jinwoo pretends to be strong. The one who needs comfort is not him, but you.

"When the world is too cruel on you, when everything is just too painful for your, when you just want to cry— Turn to me." Jinwoo said, no— He was pleading you. "I'll take you here. Just you and me. Just us."

A place of solace.

A paradise for both of you.

A place where no one can hit you, no one can yell at you, a place where you can let your guard down.

The thought of that caused you to break into tears. You wanted to tell him what you feel. What you think. What happened and why you're like this. But instead you only sob.

You can only cry your sorry little heart out, you let out all the screams and tears you've been hiding because you will be guilt-tripped for having emotions. For being weak.

Yet this man wasn't doing any of that. Instead he was rubbing your back as if he understood what you were trying to tell him in your tears.

You don't have to hurt yourself. Not as long as he's here. If it's a hero you need then he will be your saviour. Jinwoo wants to show you that you are loved.

If not by the world, then by him.

He will love you, more than he has now.

The world is beautiful, and you have unfortunately been too exposed to the ugliness of everything. So he will be your beacon of light.

He'll hold your hand and show you everything that should have been shown to you in the first place. He'll pamper you to the point that you'll forget your destructive habits.

After all, those came to life because of your environment.

In the hellhole that you are imprisoned in, he'll pull you out to take you home. A home for you and him.

꒰ 🪼 A/N: What a way to start my Lover series hahah. I just needed this fic so bad so I'm sorry for introducing my new series like this. If you are in need of professional help please reach out immediately should you are able to. Please don't bottle up your emotions. You're only hurting yourself. If you are unable to reach out to therapists then please talk to your friends or close people for comfort. ꒱

ʚ(੭´͈ ᐜ `͈)੭ .｡✧: ~♡ —! stories written by kyunnie; translations, reposts, plagiarism are strictly forbidden.

[historixally-accurate]

forward rolls into your inbox :3

good evening.....morning.....teehee....(i am assuming you are seeing this at 9am, which in case....hope you are enjoying your breakfast! and also. wow, that is a healthy sleep schedule for an SG student newly lavishing in the freedom of the holidays.) im rewlly happy you dont mind me rolling into your inbox every day. i love doing it. seriously. like you said, it feels like using Singpost and writing letters. its part of why i love tumblr and its askboxes.

saying that youre struggling with MOE past year papers/different school papers is so damn relatable. i'm just grateful im not in pri sch anymore where teachers woukd be dispensing that shit like water at the water cooler. LMAO

youre a kazuha liker huh? my friend is too. so as a birthday present, i drew kazuha with weed on the class whiteboard once for their birthday. i knew next to nothing about his lore but their expression of utter despair was worth it.

YOU MADE YOUR PLD LOCKSCREEN TALKINGMIME?!?!?!?!? thats kinda genius too. i woukd scream and panic if i saw this in public btw. and flounder in panic and joy like a pathetic fish. blub

Im still pretty new to mcsr in general, but i actually followed an unusual pipeline into it: unlike most people being introduced via couri or feinberg, i actually entered via 21mustard.... more specufically the vid about his online friend trying to find him again. i like 21mustard and zylenox :3 and emerald (ithink), fein, mr lewis fulham, poundcake, fyroah and ofc mr mime. im still exploring though. im charmed by k4's mic peaks. it took me ages to strart putting names to faces and then voices...

as for my own speedrunning, i unfortunately do not play any noteworthy speedrunning games. however, i am currently trying to speedrun Minesweeper! its going pretty well.

as always, i hope youre doing well, whenever youre reading this. - sgmcsr anon

GOOD MORNING.. I'm replying to this a little too late (it's 12pm), but IDGAF LETS ROLL!!

I love opening inbox and answering asks, it's like. you get a silly letter every single day to answer and. i get why the people in the past really fucked w this... it's really awesome. anyway.

about MOE and exams, ohh thank god I'm not in primary school anymore, that PSLE grind was HORRIBLE. having to do like. what, 20 page papers for math (paper 1 or 2 alone!!) and all of them being really difficult questions really fucked w my brain... at least papers now are semi tolerable and I can do them 🤷 I remember in primary school my science teacher handed us like.. 5 past year papers to do over June holidays, and I was COOKED. anyway

about genshin, LMAOOOO FUCK THATS HILARIOUS... I'd be terrified too if I saw kazuha smoking a blunt for my birthday like. the aura that exudes. holy schmoly

about talkingmime, YEAH.. my PLD lock screen is actually that one silly art piece of everyone who played pico park, and on my home screen is a small talkingmime doodle... I am normal, totally! I must be normal! fun fact, my phone lock screen is silverrruns. Hehe. this photo specifically

yeah. Hehe. and my home screen is a really pretty nEmerald drawing... :3

about speedrunners THOSE ARE A BUNCHA GOOD PICKS... k4's mic peaks are legendary.. yay. NEMERALD AND FYROAH.. ohh. I love them very muchie. I even drew them. they're so skibidi to me.

about speedrunning, minesweeper speedrunning is verg cool. I've always wanted to learn how to play minesweeper... but it's always so scarrryyy... I should learn how to play it one day, on skibidi..

IM FINISHING THIS AT 1 34 PM. IM STUCK IN MATH TUITION RN. I love your singposts , thank u sg anon have a skibidi day

[5sosfanfictioncatalogue]

Married Life (2) Masterlist

part one

By The Sound of a Drum (ao3) - DeanAndHisBeautyQueen luke/ashton G, 2k

Summary: This one shot is about Lashton - Luke and Ashton are married and are about to have a baby! There good friends Michael and Calum decides that they would like to take Luke out for a bit of fun before the babe is here and while he is out Ashton goes into labor!

Come Back When You Can (ao3) - fivesecondsofmae luke/ashton T, 1k

Summary: Luke and Ashton left the Shadowhunter world as soon as they could so they could get married and start a family and have a normal family life, but when Luke gets a call from the Sydney Institute, announcing they have information about his deceased parents, he decides to go and found out what he can about his history, leaving behind his husband and their daughter. What will happen when Luke is reunited with his parabatai and Ashton is left with his, to care for their child? Can their relationship survive even when the Shadowhunter world collapses in on them once again?

Convivencia (ao3) - antisocialhood luke/ashton M, 4k (WIP)

Summary: Or, Ashton and Luke find themselves twisted up in a fake marriage for a cheaper college tuition, and somehow, feelings come about.

Disconnected (ao3) - allsassnoclass (brightblackholes) michael/calum, luke/ashton T, 1k (WIP)

Summary: Michael is used to living in a world where every move is watched and every conversation recorded. It's always been an annoyance he has to deal with in order to maintain safety and order, but growing protests and increased government suspicion have everyone looking over their shoulder. When people start to go missing, gone from all databases without a trace, he might have to reevaluate just what price he's willing to pay for security.

Domesticated Erotica: Luke’s Hobby (ao3) - twinkylukey luke/ashton E, 1k

Summary: Basically, Luke likes those hetero erotic romance novels and Ashton thinks it’s cute

I Don't Want To Feel Alone (ao3) - orphan_account luke/calum, michael/ashton G, 683

Summary: "I have loved you since we were eighteen, long before we both thought the same thing. To be loved, or to be in love."

or

Luke and Calum get married.

It's nice to have a friend (ao3) - NovaDevil michael/calum N/R, 1k

Summary: If you ask Calum how he ended up here, he'll probably laugh and say he has no fucking idea but he's glad anyway.

But right now, on a lazy Sunday afternoon, he has all the time in the world to take a reminiscing look back at everything that's happened since he was just a little kid in Sydney, and the one fixed feature through it all.

Off-Screen (ao3) - allsassnoclass (brightblackholes) luke/ashton

Summary: Now that classes are being taught from home due to the pandemic, students are getting a glimpse into Professor Irwin's home life, especially when his mysterious husband keeps interrupting class.

Oh, We Could Be Falling In Love (ao3) - malumqt (bunwuji) michael/calum, luke/ashton N/R, 9k

Summary: Michael Clifford is only prince of Australia. Calum Hood is the prince of New Zealand. Both are enemy countries and decided to have an arranged marriage to have peace. Michael doesn't want an arranged marriage. He's determined to hate the unfairly adorable New Zealand prince.

Tastycake (ao3) - plushyluke luke/ashton E, 2k

Summary: “i was not an ‘it girl’!” he sat up to straddle ashton.

as ashton took in the tall blonde figure with the poutiest lips and the brightest blue eyes, he almost laughed out loud at the assumption. he placed the forgotten prom queen tiara on top of luke’s head and tutted.

“you were the cheerleading captain, an a-student, blonde, and a little mean. i think it is safe for me to say I was intimidated by all of your…assets.”

or luke is looking through old memories, and ashton needs to remind him that he'll always be the 'it girl' in his eyes

The Panty-Dropper (ao3) - Honeyedlashton luke/ashton E, 5k

Summary: Ashton’s discovered an old recipe from Luke’s recipe box, and decided to cash in on an anniversary prize.

there's glitter on the floor after the party - @sup3rbloom (haveufoundwhaturlookingfor) michael/ashton, luke/calum T, 1k

Summary: The aftermath of Michael and Ashton's first new year's eve party as a married couple.

the situation is like a mountain that's been weighing on my conscience - @sup3rbloom (haveufoundwhaturlookingfor) luke/ashton, michael/calum T, 2k

Summary: Luke is closeted and nobody outside of the band, and close family, knows that he has a secret husband. During promo for Youngblood, Luke suffers a panic attack when the interviewer asks a personal question. Cue, Ashton to the rescue and comfort.

you tell me you're tipsy, i tell you you're pretty (ao3) - orphan_account luke/ashton, michael/calum E, 13k

Summary: He heads off towards the bathroom, trying to avoid the inevitable conversation, when he notices something glinting off of Ashton’s left hand. He steps forward, picking up Ashton’s left hand and staring at the ring on the boy’s finger and felt himself stiffen. “Ash, why is there a wedding ring on your hand?”

Ashton’s eyes bulged out of his head and the moment he caught sight of the ring and he tore his hand out of Luke’s, staring at his hand as if it was on fire. “What the fuck,” he whispers to himself before looking over at Luke, murder in his eyes. “What the fuck did you do!?” he demands, as if Luke had something to do with the entire thing. As far as he knows though, he had nothing to do with this entire situation.

Or maybe he did, but he was hoping he didn’t.

or, Luke and Ashton wake up married during a weekend in Vegas

[transgloabaloverseas10]

What Are the Most Affordable Universities in the UK?

When looking for quality education at a reasonable cost, several universities in the UK stand out as affordable yet reputable options. Some of the most affordable universities in the UK, such as the University of Stirling, University of Chester, and Teesside University, provide excellent education with competitive tuition rates. These institutions often support international students with scholarships, flexible payment plans, and career services that enhance employability after graduation. Additionally, universities in smaller cities like Sunderland or Middlesbrough offer the benefit of a lower cost of living, making them top cheap universities in the UK for students aiming to balance affordability with quality education. These options allow students to achieve their academic goals in the UK without the high costs typically associated with studying abroad.

Why Study in the UK?

The UK offers a unique blend of academic excellence, vibrant culture, and career opportunities. With a strong global reputation, degrees from UK universities are highly regarded worldwide. The UK also hosts a wide array of courses and specializations, from arts and humanities to STEM fields. Additionally, international students have access to a supportive environment with plenty of resources to enhance both academic and personal growth.

Key Factors to Consider Beyond Tuition

While affordability is a priority, selecting a university involves considering a mix of academic, financial, and lifestyle factors:

Location: Cost of living varies greatly across regions. Universities in major cities like London and Manchester often come with a higher cost of living than those in smaller cities or towns.

Course Fees: Different programs may have different fees even within the same institution, so researching tuition for your specific program is essential.

Scholarships and Financial Aid: Many UK universities offer scholarships and grants to international students. Check the university's website or speak to a student advisor for information on available funding.

Student Support Services: Look for universities with strong student support services, including career counseling, academic support, and health services, which can ease the financial burden.

The Most Affordable Universities in the UK for International Students

Here are some UK universities known for offering quality education at relatively lower tuition fees:

1. University of Stirling

Located in Scotland, the University of Stirling is known for its affordability and academic flexibility. The university offers a wide range of undergraduate and postgraduate programs at competitive prices.

Tuition Fees: Starting at £13,650 per year for undergraduate programs and around £15,000 for postgraduate programs.

Scholarships: International students can apply for various scholarships, including the International Undergraduate Scholarship, which offers up to £2,000 per year.

2. University of Chester

The University of Chester, located in North West England, is known for its affordable fees and strong focus on employability. The university offers courses in a wide variety of fields, from health and social care to arts and humanities.

Tuition Fees: Typically £12,750 per year for undergraduate courses and £13,450 for postgraduate courses.

Cost of Living: Chester is known for a relatively low cost of living, making it an attractive option for international students on a budget.

3. Leeds Beckett University

Leeds Beckett University, located in the city of Leeds, is recognized for its affordable fees and excellent teaching standards. The university offers a wide array of programs, from business and law to engineering and creative arts.

Tuition Fees: Starting at £12,500 per year for undergraduate courses, and £14,000 for most postgraduate courses.

Living Expenses: Leeds has a moderate cost of living compared to London, and the university offers accommodation options at different price points.

4. University of Sunderland

The University of Sunderland, situated in the northeast of England, has gained popularity among international students for its affordable tuition fees and career-focused education.

Tuition Fees: Around £12,500 for undergraduate and £13,500 for postgraduate programs per year.

Scholarships: The university offers several scholarships for international students, such as the International Scholarship, which can reduce fees significantly.

5. University of West London (UWL)

Located in the heart of London, the University of West London offers competitive fees for a university in the capital. Known for courses in business, health, and arts, UWL is an appealing option for students who want the London experience without the high price tag.

Tuition Fees: Starting at £13,000 for undergraduate programs and £13,750 for postgraduate programs.

Cost Management: UWL offers resources for managing expenses, and students have easy access to part-time job opportunities due to its central location.

6. University of Cumbria

The University of Cumbria, located in North West England, is known for its affordable programs and focus on environmental studies, education, and health sciences.

Tuition Fees: Undergraduate programs start at £10,500, while postgraduate fees are around £12,800 per year.

Support Services: The university provides strong student support services, including help with finding internships and job placements, which add value to its affordable tuition.

7. Teesside University

Teesside University, located in Middlesbrough, is known for its low tuition fees, vibrant campus life, and high student satisfaction. Teesside offers diverse courses in engineering, health sciences, and business.

Tuition Fees: Around £11,825 per year for undergraduate and £13,000 for postgraduate courses.

Scholarships and Bursaries: Teesside offers scholarships specifically for international students, such as the Global Excellence Scholarship, which can provide substantial financial aid.

8. University of Bedfordshire

The University of Bedfordshire, situated in Luton and Bedford, is well-regarded for its affordable fees and diverse student body. It offers programs in business, arts, sciences, and healthcare.

Tuition Fees: Undergraduate fees start at £12,500, and postgraduate programs range around £13,000 per year.

Cost of Living: Luton and Bedford have a lower cost of living compared to larger cities, making it easier for students to manage their budgets.

Tips for Saving Money While Studying in the UK

Choose Affordable Accommodation: Opt for student halls of residence or shared accommodation to reduce housing costs.

Cook Your Own Meals: Eating out frequently can be expensive. Prepare your own meals to save money.

Utilize Student Discounts: Take advantage of student discounts on transportation, groceries, and entertainment.

Part-Time Jobs: Consider part-time work to supplement your income, but ensure it doesn't interfere with your studies.

Scholarships and Grants: Explore scholarships and grants offered by the UK government, universities, and private organizations.

By carefully considering these factors and choosing an affordable university, you can make your dream of studying in the UK a reality without breaking the bank.

Cost of Study in the UK

Studying in the UK can be an exciting opportunity, but it’s essential to understand the costs involved. Here’s a breakdown of the key expenses associated with studying in the UK:

1. Tuition Fees

Undergraduate Programs: Tuition fees for international students typically range from £10,000 to £38,000 per year, depending on the university and the course of study. Programs in fields like medicine and engineering tend to be on the higher end.

Postgraduate Programs: For master's degrees, tuition fees usually range from £12,000 to £30,000 per year. Again, the costs vary based on the institution and specialization.

2. Living Expenses

Students should budget for living expenses, which can vary widely depending on the location. On average, you can expect to spend about £9,000 to £12,000 per year. This includes:

Accommodation: £400 to £1,200 per month, depending on the city and type of housing (on-campus or private).

Food: Approximately £150 to £250 per month.

Transportation: Monthly travel costs can range from £50 to £100, depending on your mode of travel and location.

Miscellaneous Expenses: This includes leisure, clothing, and personal items, typically around £100 to £200 per month.

3. Health Insurance

International students may need to pay for health insurance. The NHS surcharge is approximately £470 per year for access to the National Health Service (NHS).

4. Additional Costs

Study Materials: Budget around £200 to £500 per year for books and supplies.

Visa Fees: The UK student visa application fee is about £363, and you may also need to prove you have funds for living expenses.

Conclusion

Studying in the UK doesn’t have to be prohibitively expensive. With options like the University of Stirling, University of Cumbria, and Teesside University, international students can access high-quality education without straining their finances. These universities offer affordable tuition, and many are located in cities with a lower cost of living, which further reduces expenses for students. Balancing cost with a university's reputation and the support it offers is essential for making a smart choice. For guidance, working with UK education consultants can be invaluable, as they can help navigate admissions, identify scholarships, and find the most budget-friendly options suited to your needs. With thoughtful planning and the right resources, studying in the UK can be a rewarding and achievable goal.

FAQs 

1. What are the most affordable cities in the UK for students? 

Cities like Manchester, Sheffield, and Birmingham are generally more affordable than London. These cities offer a good balance of lower living costs and quality education.

2. Are there any scholarships available for international students in the UK? 

Yes, there are several scholarships available for international students in the UK. These scholarships can help cover tuition fees, living expenses, or both. It's advisable to research and apply for scholarships early in the application process.

3. Can I work part-time while studying in the UK? 

Yes, international students are allowed to work part-time for up to 20 hours per week during term time and full-time during vacations. This can help supplement your income and reduce financial burden.

4. What are the average living costs for international students in the UK? 

The average living cost in the UK can vary depending on the city and lifestyle. However, you can expect to spend around £10,000 to £15,000 per year on accommodation, food, transportation, and other expenses.

5. How can I reduce my overall costs of studying in the UK? 

To reduce costs, consider affordable accommodation options like student halls or shared housing. Cook your own meals, use public transportation, and look for student discounts. Additionally, explore part-time work opportunities and scholarships to further reduce your expenses.

[abroadstudy635]

University of Wollongong Australia: A Comprehensive Guide

Introduction to the University of Wollongong, Australia

The University of Wollongong Australia is a distinguished institution known for its high-quality education, innovative research, and vibrant campus life. Located in the picturesque coastal city of Wollongong, UOW offers a unique blend of academic excellence and a stunning natural environment, making it an attractive destination for students from around the world.

History and Overview

Founded in 1951, the University of Wollongong has grown from a small college of the University of New South Wales to an independent university with a global reputation. Over the decades, UOW has expanded its academic offerings, infrastructure, and research capabilities, consistently ranking among the top universities in Australia and worldwide.

University of Wollongong, Wollongong Campus

The University of Wollongong Wollongong Campus is the main campus of UOW, located just a short distance from the city center and the beautiful beaches of Wollongong. The campus is known for its state-of-the-art facilities, including modern lecture halls, research labs, libraries, and recreational areas. The natural beauty of the campus, with its landscaped gardens and surrounding bushland, provides a serene and inspiring environment for students.

University of Wollongong Australia Ranking

One of the key factors that attract students to UOW is its impressive University of Wollongong Australia ranking. UOW consistently ranks among the top 200 universities in the world and is recognized for its strong performance in research, teaching quality, and graduate employability. The university's commitment to excellence is reflected in its various rankings across different disciplines and categories.

In the QS World University Rankings, UOW has been placed in the top 200 globally, highlighting its reputation as a leading institution. Additionally, the Times Higher Education World University Rankings also positions UOW among the top universities, emphasizing its impact and influence in the academic world.

University of Wollongong Ranking in Specific Fields

Beyond the overall university rankings, UOW excels in specific fields and disciplines. For instance, it is renowned for its engineering and technology programs, with several of its engineering courses ranked among the top 100 globally. The university's strengths also extend to fields like computer science, business, and law, where it has earned high rankings and recognition.

University of Wollongong Fees

Understanding the University of Wollongong fees is crucial for prospective students planning to study at UOW. Tuition fees at UOW vary depending on the course and level of study. For undergraduate programs, international students can expect to pay between AUD 26,000 to AUD 34,000 per year, while postgraduate programs range from AUD 27,000 to AUD 40,000 per year.

In addition to tuition fees, students should also consider other costs such as accommodation, living expenses, and textbooks. UOW offers a range of scholarships and financial aid options to help students manage their expenses and make their education more affordable.

University of Wollongong Accommodation

Finding suitable University of Wollongong accommodation is a priority for many students, and UOW provides a variety of housing options to meet diverse needs and preferences. The university offers on-campus accommodation in several residential colleges and student apartments, each with its unique features and amenities.

On-campus housing options include fully catered, semi-catered, and self-catered facilities, ensuring that students can choose the arrangement that best suits their lifestyle and budget. Living on campus provides students with the convenience of being close to classes and campus facilities, as well as the opportunity to immerse themselves in the vibrant campus community.

For those who prefer off-campus living, Wollongong has a range of private rental options, including shared houses, apartments, and homestays. The university's accommodation services team can assist students in finding suitable off-campus housing and provide support throughout their stay.

University of Wollongong Courses

The University of Wollongong courses are designed to provide students with a comprehensive education that equips them with the knowledge and skills needed to succeed in their chosen fields. UOW offers a wide range of undergraduate, postgraduate, and research programs across various disciplines, including:

Arts and Humanities: Programs in creative arts, history, philosophy, and languages.

Business: Degrees in accounting, finance, marketing, and management.

Engineering: Courses in civil, mechanical, electrical, and computer engineering.

Information Technology: Programs in computer science, software engineering, and data science.

Law: Degrees in law, criminology, and legal studies.

Science: Courses in biology, chemistry, physics, and environmental science.

Social Sciences: Programs in psychology, sociology, and social work.

UOW's commitment to innovation and excellence is evident in its course offerings, which are regularly updated to reflect industry trends and advancements. The university also provides flexible study options, including online and part-time courses, to accommodate the diverse needs of students.

Study Abroad Opportunities

Studying abroad is a transformative experience that allows students to broaden their horizons, develop intercultural skills, and gain a global perspective. UOW offers numerous study abroad opportunities for both inbound and outbound students, fostering international collaboration and cultural exchange.

For international students, UOW provides a welcoming and supportive environment with a range of services to help them adjust to life in Australia. The university's global partnerships with institutions around the world also enable students to participate in exchange programs and short-term study tours, enhancing their academic and personal growth.

Outbound students from UOW can take advantage of exchange programs with partner universities in countries such as the United States, the United Kingdom, Canada, and many others. These opportunities allow students to immerse themselves in different cultures, expand their academic knowledge, and build valuable international networks.

Research and Innovation at UOW

The University of Wollongong is a hub of research and innovation, with a strong focus on addressing global challenges and making a positive impact on society. UOW's research initiatives span various disciplines, from science and engineering to social sciences and humanities.

The university is home to several research centers and institutes, such as the Australian Institute for Innovative Materials (AIIM) and the Smart Infrastructure Facility, which conduct cutting-edge research in areas like materials science, renewable energy, and smart cities. UOW's commitment to research excellence is reflected in its numerous partnerships with industry, government, and other academic institutions.

Student Life and Support Services

Life at the University of Wollongong, Wollongong Campus is vibrant and diverse, with a range of activities and services to enhance the student experience. The campus offers numerous clubs and societies, sports facilities, and cultural events, providing students with ample opportunities to engage in extracurricular activities and build lasting friendships.

UOW also provides comprehensive support services to ensure the well-being and success of its students. These include academic support, career counseling, health and wellness services, and assistance for international students. The university's dedicated staff and resources help students navigate their academic journey and make the most of their time at UOW.

Alumni and Career Prospects

Graduates of the University of Wollongong, Australia are highly sought after by employers worldwide, thanks to the university's strong reputation and emphasis on employability. UOW's alumni network spans the globe, with graduates working in various industries and sectors.

The university's career services team offers a range of support to help students transition from study to work, including job search assistance, resume writing workshops, and networking events. UOW's strong industry connections also provide students with valuable internship and work placement opportunities, enhancing their practical skills and career prospects.

Conclusion

The University of Wollongong, Australia stands out as a premier institution that combines academic excellence with a supportive and dynamic environment. Whether you're considering enrolling in one of the University of Wollongong courses, exploring University of Wollongong accommodation, or looking into the University of Wollongong fees, UOW offers a comprehensive and enriching experience for all its students.

With its high University of Wollongong ranking, diverse study options, and commitment to research and innovation, UOW is a top choice for those looking to study abroad and achieve their academic and career goals. If you're ready to embark on an exciting educational journey, the University of Wollongong could be the perfect destination for you.

[twistedisciple]

This place is nice. Too nice, maybe, for what was once a completely desolate, overrun island. These are tiny, tickling suspicions pushed somewhere to the back of Griss’ mind as he rummages through all the drawers of the furniture though. Garreg Mach monastery was probably this nice, but they had hundreds of rich kids paying tuition. What did this place have? A jungle and some weirdos.

Well, not like he had any room to judge.

The bronze handle of the wooden chest pries off easily and he stumbles backwards, nearly onto his backside when he misjudges how much strength he’d need to rip it off. It’s just a ring, and the nail that’d been used to hold it in place is flat on the end. Not sharp at all. With a sigh, he tosses it over his shoulder and grabs the other one. It thunks to the ground, and then again, and again, until he realizes that that’s the sound of feet instead. He raises up from where he’d been bent over his little demolition project - the chest is open, pulled out from against the wall, the drawers of the dresser are all in disarray, and the mattresses of one of the beds is hanging halfway off its frame - and twists his head around, the other handle of the chest still in hand.

”Hey—“

His eyes light up suddenly when he recognizes the stocky, teal-haired boy loaded down with luggage that looks far too expensive to belong to him. “I remember you.” He grins. “Almost didn’t recognize ya without the blood.”

Then eyes flicker to the golden-haired noblewoman following in behind him and the pieces click together. He recognizes her, too, and his grin curls a little into a snarl. “And you let Princess here sweettalk you into doing her dirty work, eh?”

@berglietz @mmoneystones @making-dough

Idle Hands

Happyland 2024 | Team Rat Room C

[sukirichi]

earned it [01]

Gojo Satoru is a firm believer that if you work hard for it then you shall earn it.  But on the other side, he’s not unfamiliar with his own sins. He also believes that there is punishment due for his sins as he’s earned it.

request. (mafia au, sugar daddy au) + (dumbification, praising kink)

cw. smut, overstimulation, slight dumbification, praising kink, slight degradation, spanking, belt whipping, explicit murder, rough sex, shower sex, oral (f receiving), multiple sex scenes, riding, slight angst, veryyy unedited, sex when standing up, sex in pretzel position, dom! gojo, manhandling

notes. 🦋 anon, thanks so much for the request! i hope you love this one, i absolutely poured my heart and soul into this! minus the effort to edit, i’ll just edit this when i’m no longer sick lol

series masterlist

There he was again.

Working in a high-class restaurant located in the heart of the city meant you were no stranger to seeing people of power and titles, but he never failed to make everyone stop in their tasks every time he came around.

You don’t know his name, much less his usual orders since his usual table – middle 98 – wasn’t in your rotation. But you’re held captive in his presence, attention drawn to his broad shoulders clad in what seemed like a hand-stitched three piece suit, his striking white hair falling down in smooth tendrils. There’s something about the way he walks – confident doesn’t begin to describe it – that makes everyone surrounding him feel like they’re merely spectators to the enigma that was him, and he carries this observation proudly in his shoulders, that mischievous smile never absent from his face.

Your co-worker tugs at your sleeve, nearly knocking the empty wine glasses away from your tray. Barely catching them as you falter, you bow down to them in apology. No matter how intriguing the mysterious midnight comer was, you were still working. You needed to keep your head focused and in the game.

Hours pass by of shifting from one table to another, your hands beyond cramped from scribbling down such intricate orders. It’s a miracle you were hired in a place as luxurious as this in the first place when you couldn’t pronounce, much less spell the main dishes, but you proved through determination and hard work that the miracle was also accompanied by your grit. It didn’t matter that you were the youngest part-timer with little to no experience – unexpected things always happened when you’re backed in a corner, leaving you with no choice but to follow through.

This corner was nothing less than the struggle to make ends meet. While you’re lucky to have gotten accepted in one of the top state universities, there still came the issue of tuition fees, plus dorm occupations.

You don’t have the privilege to complain or whine that your experiences are probably not on par with what they expect of you, so you have to do your best; you have to keep pushing no matter how hard it gets and you’re barely awake for class the next day.

Clocking out, you bid goodbye to your co-workers and thank them for their hard work, about to leave through the back door when you hear his voice.

Your gaze lands on him from outside the kitchen, body twisted in the direction of where he sat, long legs crossed one another. He’s thanking the waiter for the wine, and you wince, because it isn’t just any wine. That’s one of the drinks locked in the special cellar because of its hefty price, yet there he was, swirling the red liquid around in his glass as if the amount of zeroes never bothered him. He’s reading something from his tablet, head tilted to the side as he drinks, and that’s when you see it.

It’s so miniscule you would’ve believed it’s just your eyes playing tricks on you, but you’ve seen in this class during one of your laboratory practices, the burn marks on your wrist a painful reminder of your carelessness.

Your boss’ shouts of warning fall onto deaf ears as you push past the double doors, feet moving on its own. The edge of the glass makes contact with his lips, gray lashes flattering across his cheeks, while time and sound becomes nothing but background noise to you. Your cry is inaudible when your hand pushes the glass away from his grip, the sounds of it shattering into pieces like a wake-up call to both of you.

For the first time since you’ve met him, the faintest look of surprise crosses over his face. His hands remain into a reflexive hold of the now missing glass, azure eyes cutting through yours.

You bow down to apologize – you can’t believe you’ve just done that and how his suit was stained and his pants soaked – but the words that left his lips stun you beyond disbelief, effectively freezing you in your state. His voice holds the same iciness as the blue of his pupils, but to you – just for you – there’s a tinge of awe behind them.

“Odd,” he says, “To think my life would be saved by you.”

You wake up with a gasp, hands clutched on the blanket covering your bare frame. There’s sweat forming on your hairline as you look around, wincing at the sliver of light passing through the curtains. Silver, ceiling length draperies obscure the view of the city skies outside, a huge reminder of where you are now – somewhere between the past and the future that’s about to come – and the king-sized bed you lay on almost feels like a dream.

Right. It’s been two years since you’ve met Satoru, the once mysterious customer turned into lover, an arrangement between financial aid and companionship solidifying your relationship with him now.

Your face burns at the sight of your clothes scattered all over your shared room. Your lace panties somehow end up on the chandeliers, the expensive material of your silk dress about to slide off the humongous TV and your bra hanging off the doorknob.

The light ache between your legs does nothing to appease your embarrassment. Even after two years of being with Satoru, it’s still difficult to believe he’s chosen you of all people.

He could’ve had anyone he wants. Not only is he beautiful, young, successful, and smart, he’s also an absolutely god in the sheets, your throbbing core attesting to his never ending array of his skills. Truly, Gojo Satoru was perfect, so much so that you pale in comparison to him no matter how much he’s assured you you’re the only he has eyes on.

It doesn’t make sense to you, but does it have to?

Love never required a logical reason for it to blossom, and you left it at that, fearful that it may just ruin whatever happened between the two of you. Besides, if Satoru wants you, then who were you to question that?

You swing your legs off the side of the bed to make him breakfast, but your legs shake upon contact to the floor, still very much sore after last night’s events.

Satoru’s been away for work for three days, and even though it wasn’t that much of a distance, he still acted like it’s been forever. He sure took his time with you, making you cum three times just with his tongue and fingers alone. He’s a cheeky and mischievous man; there’s no telling whether his words are just sweet lies or plain facts, but if there’s one thing you’re sure of, it’s that Satoru keeps his promises to heart. If he says he’s going to fuck you until you can’t walk the next day, he means it, and now you’re left groaning back onto the bed.

You’re thankful that it’s a weekend. Had it been a school day, it’s going to be an absolute pain in the ass. No matter how much he’s covered your school fees, you still won’t risk missing a day.

The door swings open, revealing your boyfriend clothed in nothing but his boxers, the smile on his face huge at seeing you glare at him. “Aw, baby,” he coos, sliding himself next to you, carrying a tray of pancakes topped with blueberries with him. Satoru wraps an arm around your shoulder and laughs into your air when you grumble at the soreness, which he tries to kiss away. “Sorry not sorry for last night. It’s not my fault I’m so addicted to you.”

“Whatever,” you mutter, fighting back that stupid fluttering feeling in your chest. Your attention is diverted to the luscious, fluffy pancakes, and your brows furrow at the sight. “Did you make this for me?”

“Yes, ma’am!”

You roll your eyes at him; his energy was always off the charts even after fucking you into oblivion. Thanking him under your breath, you reach for the breakfast, eternally grateful that it’s breakfast in bed because you can’t walk anywhere right now. However, Satoru pries your hands away from the fork, making you lean back instead as he spoon feeds you.

It’s a little humiliating – and he’s basking in this judging from the smirk he wears – but you give in anyway. Unlike him, your stamina isn’t monstrous. You’re still a human and you’re utterly tired, the glare endless through mouthfuls of the pancake. “I’m not a child, you know.”

“Yeah, but you’re my baby,” he retorts, smacking a kiss right at your lips.

You complain harder, ever so annoyed that you could never seem to throw him off guard and have the upper hand for once. Satoru eases the frown on your face by kissing you harder, his hand cradling your neck. He’s a fucking tease; his tongue languid and sensual as he tastes the honey coating your lips, sucking your bottom lip inside his mouth before nipping at it.

At the back of your mind, you’re wondering how each moment with him results into touching. Not that you really mind, of course, your stomach only flares up with heat at the thought he wants you just as much as you crave him.

Breakfast is soon forgotten right after seven bites as Satoru leans back against the headboard, thumb soothing circles at your hipbone to guide you on top of him.

He pulls away to breathe, a thin thread of saliva and honey between your lips present, and it’s so erotic that his eyes darken with lust, hands gripping a little tighter. You’re still bare on top of him, hardened breasts on display, but he holds himself back with heavy breaths, not wanting to ruin you further than he already has.

Satoru’s lips lands on your shoulder instead, thumb grazing under the weight of your breasts. He’s kissing you everywhere, almost as if he expects the flutter of his lips to heal you. You gladly let him taste you as he pleases, neck tilted to the side while you catch your breath.

The transition of him from an absolute freak in bed to the caring, compassionate boyfriend he is never fails to give you whiplash.

“How’s your studies?” he murmurs into your skin, his touch feather-like in caressing your back. You feel the hairs stand up at where he grazes them, shivering at the sensuality and tenderness he holds you with. “Doing good? My sweetheart still top of her class?”

“Hmm,” you hum back, planting yourself firm in his lap. He’s already hard under you, his cock twitching when your bare cunt presses on top of his tip, but he controls himself, focusing on your state instead. “My grades are tip-top, all thanks to your support,” Satoru smiles when you’re the one placing kisses all over his face this time, his giggles almost child-like.

Time flies by as you lay there in his arms. You’re lulled back into sleep at the sound of his heart beat, and just as you’re dozing off, Satoru pats your ass. “Baby,” he calls out, “Let me wash you first, then we’ll cuddle afterwards. What do you think about that?”

“That’d be great, I feel sticky.”

Satoru laughs, pulling panicked squeals from you when he suddenly hoisted you in his arms, carrying you bridal style. He kicks the door open before turning the heater on in the Jacuzzi, placing you under the shower first.

You close your eyes under the sprinkle of water, hands splayed all over his chest. Your legs are still wobbling, no thanks to him railing you as if there was no tomorrow, but he holds you upright, kneading his hands into your hair then washing every crevice of your body. When you open your eyes, you see him kneeling down to rub the loofah all over your legs, a slight pinch in his brows from sheer focus.

Your heart beats loudly on your chest, unable to process that the Gojo Satoru is on his knees, his touch nothing less of worshipping as if you were a divine being in his eyes.

It makes you breathe sharply as his face comes up before your core, his tongue darting out for a moment before he looks away, focusing on cleaning you up afterwards. His control and care for your well-being leaves you speechless, leaves you breathless, leaves you wanting him more and more and more that you’re kissing him again the moment he brings you both to his Jacuzzi.

He’s taken his boxers off to enjoy the feeling of skin brushing against skin, the fuzz of bubbles foaming up at your breasts only enticing him to kiss you with equal fervent passion.

You’re grinding down on his dick, his length encased between your lips that are extremely warm in comparison to the cool water. Finally, Satoru is stuttering beneath you, little whines leaving his breath as he kneads your ass, resisting the urge to slap the smooth flesh.

“Satoru,” you moan, “N-need you now, please.”

Fuck, his name on your lips mixed with your moans are enough to make him want to lose his restraint and just fuck you hard and deep there. He growls at how unaware you are of your effect on him, and he’s nothing short of starving in his kisses, never getting tired of tasting you over and over again. He wants to keep kissing you until your scent and taste is imprinted on his skin, to carry you around with him even when you’re not there, because he loves you, and he’s never loved anyone this much before. Especially for people like him, love was nothing but a myth.

Everything is a fantasy with you, a dream he doesn’t want to wake up from. If you were to ask him to give up everything for you this instant, he’d do it in a heartbeat.

His heart is enslaved by your existence, and he nods, helping you lift your hips up to align his cock to your entrance. He takes note of your soreness as you slowly sink down on his cock, swallowing your whimpers through open-mouthed kiss. You’re shaking inside his arms, tiny scratches mixed with mewls making its way on his chest, further adding to the litter of scars already painted on his body.

Your head lands on his shoulder the second he bottoms out. Satoru groans at the feeling of your walls fluttering down on him, so warm and so tight that he has to lean his head back on the headrest just to catch his breath.

“You ride me, baby,” he manages through pants. “I’ll let you set the pace – do what’s comfortable with you.”

Your jaw clenches at the same time you clamp down on him one more time, eliciting another sinful moan from your lover. A lazy smirk graces your face as you ride him slowly, the image of the almighty Gojo Satoru falling apart at your ministrations burned at the back of your mind. You’ll replay this memory every time he leaves for work again, and the dreadful thought of having to watch him leave one more time fuels you to bounce on him harder, nails dug into his shoulder.

Satoru winces at the slight sting but doesn’t stop you anyway; he’s no stranger to pain. In fact, he’s a master of that and many more in more ways than one, though you didn’t know that – and he’ll never let you know that.

His eyes snap open at the sounds of skin slapping against skin, the water sloshing out the Jacuzzi. He’s met with the sight of you clutching the edges of the tub, bottom lip caught between your teeth as you fuck yourself harder on his cock. Your breasts bounce right in front of his eyes, tempting him to latch a mouth around it, which he does, the sudden flicking of his warm tongue on your nipples driving you to the edge.

Your soreness becomes a hazy memory of the past with each slide down his dick, thighs burning from the exertion. Satoru is lapping up your breasts and palming the other expertly, his breath hot on your skin.

Something familiar coils into your lower abdomen with each hard thrust, and you throw your head back, moaning his name as if it’s the only thing you’ve ever known. You’re growing tired; he can tell from the way you’re barely lifting your hips, but you’re so close, so near, that Satoru takes it upon himself to push you both right where you wanted to be.

Your moan comes out breathless the moment Satoru grips at your hips, snapping his hips upwards at the same time he guides your body to crush down on him. He’s the one controlling your body, but you’re falling on top of him with no reserve, your weight slamming down to his groin in full force that he’s faltering. Satoru is entranced by the motion of your hips gyrating around the head of his cock, the wavering grin on your face a telltale you’re enjoying the act of destroying him, but he lets you – it’s only fair after the countless times he’s done the same with you. But oh, he’ll have you again and again, and he proves his endless desire for you by forcing himself deep to your most sensitive spots, the glimpse of your mouth hanging open as you come making his cock twitch.

Satoru squeezes your hips as he situates you flat on his cock, groaning as he came in thick spurts. You mewl, scratching at his chest as he rides his high out with a few more sloppy thrusts.

“I know, baby, I know,” he whispers at the top of your hair, well-aware that your oversensitivity is clouding your mind. But he can’t help it, not when you feel so good around him like this. “Just a little more, I’ll be – fuck – right there, oh yeahhh,” he drawls out breathlessly, his cock twitching with the last strings of cum until he grows boneless inside you.

Satoru pulls his cock out, chest heaving up and down from that earth-shattering orgasm. In all honesty, he’s confident he could give you an even better one, but your lids are already fluttering close that he chuckles, pressing a kiss on your temple as a silent you did well.

Somewhere through your half-awake state, you manage to card your fingers through his hair, voice small and weak as you ask, “Don’t you have to go to work?”

Satoru’s eyes lour with something unreadable, and he’s thankful you don’t get to see the sudden glooming of his face. He gently pushes your head to rest on his shoulder, his eyes narrowed at his rippling reflection in the water. In his eyes, he sees the truth – he sees a monster holding an innocent angel he lives to protect – the truth he wants to conceal. He can’t even fathom the possibility of you finding out about who he really is, much less what he does that enables him to provide you with everything you need.

He’s the demon himself, caressing someone as pure as you in his arms, his eyes and true self sinister except for the gentle kisses he leaves at the shell of your ear.

If it keeps you safe, he doesn’t mind becoming even more of a monster if it means keeping you safe.

So he keeps you right where you can’t witness the slight moments of vulnerability in which his horns reveal itself, hugging you tight and possessively in the fear he’ll lose the only thing that matters most to him.

“I have a meeting tonight,” is all he says, is what he always says.

He’s mysterious and aloof, too vague every time you inquire him about what he does for a living. Usually, you’d feel worried or even wary that maybe he doesn’t trust you as much as you originally thought, but you’re too tired to question him further, and he takes advantage of your weakness wholeheartedly. All to keep you safe.

Satoru closes his eyes as he takes a deep breath, no longer bothered by the fact each step he took is getting him closer and closer to a point of no redemption.

He’s not worried about that anymore, not when his salvation is right in his arms, wrapping him with your love and false sense of safety that it becomes the lie he feeds himself every night just to keep going on.

“I just want to be with you a little longer.”

This time around, Satoru tells the truth.

The rust of blood dripping off the concrete walls is as normal to Satoru as breathing is for everyone else. He doesn’t falter in his movements, doesn’t scrunch his nose at the stench, and he doesn’t waver from swinging his arm back, the heavy weight of the wrench already wielded in his hand.

Someone dared come up to their base to face him head-on.

He has to admit, he was impressed with their guts, but now he feels empty save for a slight sliver of irritation at the man’s bloodied face. He’s panting after coughing up blood so much, his face unrecognizable after the beating Satoru gave him, teeth splattered on the floor. Satoru’s right hand man, Geto, stands at the side, silently inspecting his nails.

They’d been going at this for hours now, yet they seemed to be right where they were at the beginning. Torture was usually an effective method of gathering information, but this hostage seemed to be on the same par of monstrous as Satoru from his unyielding nature, even had the audacity to laugh.

Satoru stops in his tracks, a brow raised at what seemed to be so funny.

“Everyone spoke highly of you,” he spat his blood out, his busted eye twitching under Satoru’s stone cold gaze. “They told me you were barbaric, ruthless, the most feared mafia boss out here, but you’re pathetic now, aren’t you? You’re not the same Six Eyes who sees all they claimed you to be,” Satoru watched warily when his hostage smirked, the same one he always wore just moments from bashing the skull out of someone. It’s because he’s so familiar with it that Satoru immediately puts up his walls, Geto stepping beside him with his gun gleaming under his coat. As expected, the man does not falter, his laughter merely increasing in volume. “You’ve grown soft, Gojo. Your little lover is your weakness, it’s written all over your face. Tell me, what’s stopping you from ending my life already? Afraid that if she finds out, she might push you away?” When Gojo doesn’t answer, the man clicks his tongue. “I fucking knew it.”

Geto moves quicker than his boss. He draws his gun and aims it right between his eyes, only to be stopped by Satoru’s indifferent tone. “Stop.”

“But boss-”

“Why did you come here?” he stabs the man in the thigh with a knife, his screams of pain alleviating enough to distract the painful clenching of his chest. “I don’t believe you came here just to prove the rumors true. Now you tell me, why have you come here?” Satoru slams his fist down on the knife, the blade pushing past through muscles and hitting deep to the bone. “Answer me.”

“Th-there’s a drive in my pocket. Open it and you’ll see.”

The man doesn’t stop squirming as Geto rummages through his jacket, nodding to his boss once they got hold of the slick black device. Geto immediately plugs it to the monitor, several photographs popping up in a few seconds, and those few seconds were all it took to bring the infamous mafia boss down.

Because they weren’t just photos, they were photos of you.

Of you laughing with your friends, of you hugging Satoru’s arm in one of your dates, of you kissing him under the streetlight and even an intimate photo of you going down on him while he’s driving. It must be taken from a street cam judging from the blurry quality, but it’s crystal clear to him anyway, and Satoru’s mind muddles with thoughts darker than he once believed he’s capable of. He feels his anger bloom like fire licking up at his skin, his nerves bursting through, and he’s so obvious, so predictable that his hostage guffaws.

“I was right, I was right-!”

“You mean her?” his voice drips down with so much indifference, it shocks even he himself. His hostage shuts up at the sudden change of Satoru’s aura, that dark, fearsome aura that had people begging him to kill them as an act of mercy coming back to life. The man clamps his mouth shut, chills running down his spine because it’s no longer the same Satoru he mocked pulling the knife out from his thigh.

No, this is the Gojo Satoru, the devil incarnate himself, and he’s made the huge mistake of believing he would be affected by a mere woman. Satoru reads the fear on his face too easily, not bothering to hide his sigh as he twirls the bloodied blade between his fingers.

“She’s nothing to me. She’s just another bitch, another paid pussy. Favorite of the month, you could say, but nothing of worth to me,” he announces, ignoring Geto who’s stiffened up at the corner. “Did you really come all the way here just to see if you could find my weakness? If so, then your organization is a lot dumber than I thought, and I hate people who waste my time.”

“No, no, please, I was just jok-” his eyes widen when Satoru snaps his fingers, and Geto rushes to his boss with his gun. “Please, no, I didn’t think she was just a bitch-”

The man never got to finish his words.

A loud ‘bang’ echoes around the room, followed by a slight snap when his head falls backwards. Blood drips from the hole sitting in between his head, the aim perfect and flawless even with Satoru not looking back. He’s still Gojo Satoru, leader of the Gojo Mafia Clan, and he’s not the most feared leader in history for no reason. He’s always been blessed with a physical prowess and fighting abilities that allowed him to take on other clans by himself, but he’s changing. There’s now a chink in his armour, and people are starting to notice.

If he doesn’t do anything about it soon…

“Sir,” Geto begins, following the rushed footsteps of Satoru outside the hall, where his security is lined up with guns poised and ready to risk their lives for him. This was his power, this was his legacy – and this is who he was.

A killer. A monster. A demon – he’s everything you wouldn’t love.

“I know, Geto, I know,” Satoru says through gritted teeth, his bloody hands clenched into fists. He already knows what he’s supposed to do; he doesn’t need another reminder of it. “You don’t have to tell me anything I know of already. Now send that body back as a warning. I’m going home for tonight.”

Geto is stunned, and he’s got every right to be. After all, in his boss’ 28 years of existence, not once has he called anywhere or anyone home.

He’s always claimed himself to be irredeemable, to be unworthy of love and forgiveness, but slowly yet surely, he was beginning to look at life differently after meeting you, after loving you. The word ‘home’ was never in his vocabulary, and yet, every time your face comes up in his mind, it’s the only word he can think of.

He came home a lot earlier than you expected him to. You’re hunched over the table, legs swinging back and forth as you finish your school packets when the door chimes with the familiar beep. It’s only midnight and he’s already here, the excitement manifesting in you as you jump off the stools, running to greet your beloved.

Satoru ends up as a blur of frantic hands tugging his tie off, his scowl seething with anger and regret pouring off of him in waves.

Before you could say anything, he has you pinned on the wall, one knee inside your legs to keep you upright. Satoru is kissing you, hard, one hand raised to keep both your wrists planted above your head. You’re moaning at his aggressiveness, the sounds encouraged by his erection poking at you from your silk robe.

It’s not rare for him to come home in need of a fuck to clear his head, but…something feels different this time around. He feels different, almost like an entirely new person.

Satoru pulls away to press his forehead to yours, his eyes hooded with lust and lips bruised from the kiss. You’re confuzzled; your lover is the exact same person standing before you, the same person grazing at your breasts until your nipples harden at his touch, so then why does it feel like the person who left and came back are entirely two different people.

“Can I fuck you, angel? Please?”

Your words die down your throat.

Satoru’s never said please before, much less look this devastated as he asks to have you. He always says it with exuberant confidence, his present frown usually a smile. There’s no trace of happiness or even playfulness in his eyes this time around. Instead, they’re filled with fear – desperation, even.

You say yes before you realize it, but it’s enough for Satoru. It feels like he’s only been waiting for that word before he goes on a rampage, for his lips are on yours again, patting your thighs as a silent command to jump. You follow his orders and kiss him feverishly until it becomes a battle for dominance, tongue and teeth clashing against the other. Your hands are tugging at his hair from how rough he’s grabbing at your hips, spanking the sensitive flesh that draws a whimper at you.

You don’t know how Satoru manages to find his way to the leather couch even with his eyes closed, but he takes you there, no longer gentle as he throws your weight down. You’re falling, falling, falling as your knees hit the material, cheeks pressed against the headrest. You turn back to kiss him one more time, but Satoru keeps you down there, the sound of his belt unbuckling reaching your ears.

Satoru wraps the leather around his palm, kissing you flat on the lips just as he slaps the material to your ass. He’s pushed your robe to bunch up at your waist, groaning into your mouth upon the realization you’ve been walking around the house butt-naked.

“You’re so fucking perfect,” he nips at your lips, feeding off of the pained moans coating his senses at each whip of his belt. “No underwear while I’m gone – you’re begging to be fucked, angel. You’re so filthy,” he swings his arm back to extend the length of the belt, squeezing your ass before he whips it harder against your flesh. You scream at the contact, nails ripping the leather couch and a slight puddle of drool on your lips.

“S-Satoru!”

“What?” he snaps, gripping your jaw, his eyes replaced with something animalistic as he stares at you. The love is gone in his eyes, your lover almost unrecognizable from the way he whips you again. You jut forwards, arousal pooling and dripping down his sofa. His eyes trail down your gushing pussy, nostrils flared before throwing his belt to the other side of the room. The buckle hits one of his expensive vases until it comes crashing down, the sound of it nostalgic to the first time you met him. “Can’t talk, huh, baby? What do you want? Tell me what you want.”

“Fuck me,” you blurt out, wiggling your hips sensationally at his already throbbing dick. “Please fuck me.”

You suppose you should’ve been more careful with your words, because Satoru lives to please, and if you tell him to do something, you can expect he’ll give his everything.

He knocks the wind out of your lungs by squeezing your waist, sliding himself into you one, full thrust. You’re wet enough that he slides in easily, but it’s too fast, too early, that the sudden stretch is painfully pleasurable. Satoru delivers one more smack to your flesh that makes it bounce, his growls loud and ragged as he pounds into you.

You’re clutching at the backrest, eyes shut tight as all your attention diverts to the heat in your core. You wish you could see his face, hold his hand or see the way he admires you while he fucks you, but you can’t see anything. Tonight, you could only feel.

Each thrust sends the couch a little ways forward, his balls slapping against your ass. He’s cursing left and right, more focused on getting his anger out his system than pleasuring you. It’s a drastic change to your lover’s behavior in bed, yet you can’t find any muscle in your body that denies this. Satoru can be rough, but he never really goes all out. One way or another, he manages to hold back for your sake, but his mind’s a mess, the voices in his head screaming louder that it drowns out the need to make you cum first.

He’s relentless, grip bruising the harder he fucks into you. You know you’re gone in the instance Satoru plants one foot beside you, the angle causing him to hit deeper.

Satoru ends up fucking into your cervix with each hard thrust, fisting his hand under your robe while he slams forward. It’s so intense that your vision blurs, a faltered grip on the couch. You’re falling limp under his ministrations, his dick successfully hitting that spot that has you seeing white. You’re screaming, babbling nonsense while Satoru uses you as his own fuck toy, pushing past your tight walls and relishing in the way you hug his cock snugly.

He came first, his thrusts growing sloppy and stuttering for a moment. Satoru pulls out so quickly from you that you’re left gasping for air at the sudden emptiness, and that’s when you feel his cum landing on your lower back.

You’re too slow, too weak – or perhaps he’s too strong, too fast – to react properly to his movements.

Satoru doesn’t let you catch your breath as he throws you over his shoulder, your face nearly smacking his ass. You feel dizzy at this position, and the voice in your head tells you that you should be scared he’s manhandling you like this, but seeing him this way – so reveled, so angry, so out of control – has you rubbing your legs, core dripping at the thought of how he’s going to use you tonight.

Your eyes widen when he doesn’t head for the bedroom. You were so sure he’d take you there, but Satoru lays you flat on the marble countertops of the kitchen, the cold biting into your skin.

Satoru doesn’t waste another second before he spreads your legs open and dives into your cunt. You squeal, legs instinctively closing around his head when you feel his tongue lick a flat stripe at your pussy, but he only pushes them apart, encircling your ankles hard to keep you open.

You know he’s strong, but you’re still surprised that he’s capable of rendering you motionless, powerless like this. Your mind wanders off to a dangerous path in wonders of how else he’s hurt someone like this – whether intentionally or unintentionally – but he immediately pulls you back to reality when he sucks your clit, his eyes direct with yours.

His hands trail upwards to squeeze at your breasts, the immediacy of it all firing up that tight knot in your stomach that he failed to snap a while ago.

Satoru’s nose rubs at your skin the harder he sucks at your clit, tugging it upwards until you’re whining around him. It’s always so erotic to see his pretty face buried in your cunt like this; you’ll never get used to him eating you like you’re his last meal. He laps up your juices like a starved man, his tongue prodding between your lips and slurping everything you offer him, one of his arms retracting to slide two fingers inside your sopping hole.

You moan at the sudden intrusion. The sounds of your moans mixing in with the lewd squelching of your dripping pussy is extremely embarrassing, even more so because you’re actually gushing down his palm.

Your juices spread all over his face, and Satoru is greedy, thirsty for more. He pumps harder into you, curling them against the ridges of your walls, and finally, finally you’re there. Your orgasm washes down on you violently that Satoru has to keep a palm flat down on your stomach, his tongue not ceasing from lapping up your juices. You’re convulsing from his hold, stuttered moans rewarding to his ears.

He doesn’t stop coaxing your wetness out of your cunt, his fingers working you out and easing the previous pain of when he entered you without warning. Satoru leans up to help you sit up, his lips colliding with yours for a much gentler kiss this time around.

You cup his cheeks, feeling him slide your body across the counters. Your arousal that he’s failed to clean up remains there until it spreads all over the back of your thighs, the feeling sticky and uncomfortable, but you’re more focused in his tongue dancing with yours. He tastes sweet – like mint and sugar – but his moans are sweeter, the sound dulcet and making you weak on your knees as you taste yourself on him.

Satoru tugs you forward, panic flooding you when you feel nothing under you. You feel like you’re falling again and you immediately encircle your arms around his neck, but he chuckles through the kiss, quick reflexes put into work as he carries you.

The kiss is sloppy yet heated, both of you unable to focus properly when he’s growing hard again. You expect him to take you to the bedroom to finish things for once and for all, but he’s impatient – this much you know the moment he walked in, but somehow keep forgetting – wrapping your legs to his waist instead before slipping inside you.

You mewl into his mouth, eyes snapping open to look at him nervously. His legs are slightly bent as he bounces you on his cock like you weighed nothing.

In this position, he’s hitting deep each time you slide down his cock. Unable to help it, you graze your foreheads with his to stare him deep in the eyes, the usual passion in them slowly returning with each thrust. The work is placed on his shoulders as he holds you close to him, the mind numbing sensation of your erect nipples grazing his sensitive skin enticing him to rut harder into you, all to enjoy the way you fall apart above him.

You’ve been rendered speechless, mouth fallen open to release breathy gasps. Hell, you’re unable to moan, not when his cock is sliding in and out of you so lusciously that you feel every vein protruding from the base of his length. How he manages to walk while fucking you is beyond your comprehension by now, but he seems to be having the time of his life based on his grunting, continuously fucking deep into your pussy so much that he refuses to let you go. Satoru kicks the door to your room open and places you gently on the bed this time, trapping you in his arms but with enough space to let you crawl back up on the bed. You stop as your head hits the pillows, and the mood immediately changes.

Satoru stays still inside you, his large hand cupping your face while you both catch your breath. There’s something unreadable about him. He feels young yet old at the same time, giving you the impression that perhaps he’s still just a child trapped in an old man’s body.

There’s so much fear swirling through the blueness of his eyes that you frown, marveling about what happened to him.

In the intimacy of the moment, you swipe the stray tear that had fallen down his cheek, smiling up at him in hopes he’d realize you’re always there for him. “Satoru,” you whisper, breath hitching as he starts to move. “Baby, what’s wrong?”

Satoru props you sideways, your leg flat on the bed while he hooks the other one over his thigh that is spread beside your body. You have to tilt all the way to the side just to see his face, your hand now bent in an awkward position. Although he doesn’t answer vocally, his gentle thrusts are enough to tell you he doesn’t want to talk about it – he never does, and he never will – so you shut your mouth, focusing on the pleasure of him hitting deep.

Your heart aches for him. You wish he could tell you everything, to share you his worries, and you can’t enjoy him fucking you too much because you’re crying, chest clenching that he’s growing distant no matter how close he is.

You don’t want to lose him.

“Hey,” he easily reads you, leaning down to flutter his eyes at you. “Nothing’s wrong. I’m just tired, okay, angel? But you’re making me feel good, you always do, so let me do the same for you,” Satoru kisses your tears away, the saltiness of it making him fuck harder into you, all to ignore the screaming inside his head.

He wants to hold you, he wants to kiss you, he wants to keep loving you like this, he wants to be with you, he wants to touch you – but it’s not that easy.

It’ll only keep getting harder in the future, but the future isn’t now. Today is the present, and it’s even more precious because you’re there with him. Right now, you’re untouchable by anyone but him, and it’s only him that gets to fuck you like this, only him who gets to see you whimper under him, only him who gets to kiss you hard while he fucks you deep.

He wants to fuck you hard enough that you never forget the feeling of him inside you.

Maybe he’s selfish, maybe he really is demonic, because he wishes that after this you won’t be satisfied with anyone else. He wants to fuck you hard enough you’ll keep wishing it was him, that it’s him who’s hitting your sweet spots and making you see stars, that it’s only him who can make you feel this good.

Satoru interlaces his hand with yours as he feels you tighten around him, the clamping down of your walls a telltale you’re near. You’re moaning, eyes dropping to where your bodies are connected. His cock is slicked with your arousal and he’s still thrusting to passionately, his hands touching you everywhere with the same ardor and impatience one would have when they know time is limited. And Satoru knows better than everyone that no amount of money can buy enough time in this world, because if such was a case, then he’d have done so long ago.

He silences his demons with the only way he knows how to; by kissing you and burying himself deep inside you, snapping his hips angrily as if they would counterattack his fears. Your hold on him is slipping from the sweat dripping down your bodies, but he doesn’t stop, his cock further stretching you out because he’s growing impossibly bigger.

Satoru’s cock twitches inside you, the motion pulling a gasp from you. He bites down on your shoulder, one hand gripping your other leg open as he grunts into your skin, his thrusts focused more on power than speed. He hits deep each time, the sensation of him sliding out slowly only to push back in vigorously to make your pussy throb too intense for you to even form proper sentences. He’s getting nearer, his thrusts growing more fervent and impatient. Satoru thumbs at your clit to coax you into following him, and with his thumb rubbing your clit and flicking it side to side, you end up finishing before him, your moan high-pitched and broken. He eagerly swallows the sound by releasing after you, refusing to pull out even as he feels both your cum trickle afterwards.

The sensitivity is too much for you that you have to push him away, and he complies, falling at your side but not before wrapping an arm around you first. His heartbeat is pumping under you, your hands tracing circles at his chest while he holds you impossibly close, littering kisses at the crown of your head.

It’s clear that something is wrong, but he won’t tell you no matter how much you ask. You know firsthand how annoying it is when someone can’t respect your space, so you close your eyes and let sleep overtake you instead, basking in the after sex glow and relieved only by his touch.

Hopefully, you think to yourself, he can tell you another time.

“Satoru,” you murmur seconds before falling asleep.

“Yeah?”

“If there’s something wrong…you’ll let me know, yeah?”

“Yeah,” he lies through gritted chest, pushing your head deeper into his sweaty chest. He has a habit of doing this; of pushing you close so you don’t see his face, so you don’t see the tears streaming down his face that are soon lost in your hair. You think that maybe he’s just breathing hard after work and fucking you, but he’s torn inside, feeling too broken that not even you could help fix his heart.

But you’re still there, and that’s enough for him. So he keeps his lips planted on your forehead all the way until the first sliver of light extends its fingertips over the horizon, the orange glow bathing you in an ethereal light while his body remained in the darkness.

It serves as a painful reminder that he’ll never be worthy of your love, that he’ll never earn the blessing that is your heart, that you’ll never truly love him the way he’s always wanted to be loved. Maybe now you think you do, but it will change once the darkness reveals his true nature, and the thought of you pushing him away hurts a lot more than having never been loved in the first place. To him, it’s a thousand times worse when you get a taste of something, only to have it pulled away from you.

And the longer he stays there next to you, he can’t help but picture your smile soon turned into a look of fear, your body bruised with marks and blood instead of his love bites.

They call him the notorious mafia leader who bows and yields to no one, but it’s not true. Gojo Satoru most definitely has his weakness, one that came into a form of his lover, and he can’t handle that you’d get hurt because of him someday that he believes it’s just better to let things be this way.

He’s silent from when he leaves the bed, refusing to look at you one last time as a final resolve of whatever is left in his strength. He quickly dresses himself and picks up your discarded robe on the ground, folding it and leaving it on the counter before shutting the door, the sound of his footsteps mute compared to the frantic beating of his heart.

Geto is already there at the lobby, his face empty yet eyes filled with sympathy. He opens the door for Satoru who slides in wordlessly, his lips pulled into a thin line while he punches in zeroes upon zeroes.

The words transaction complete flashes before him, and for a split second, he gets the urge to run back inside to hold you. But Geto clears his throat from the passenger’s seat, nodding at his phone that Satoru visibly deflates. His hands are numb the whole time he deletes your photos, your videos, and erases your contact, but it only hits hard that its over once he chucked the phone out the window, watching through his sunglasses as the device is crushed under another speeding car.

Its over, its over, its over – it keeps chanting at his head, and he wants to punch himself, wants to never see another daylight again every time he imagines you waking up alone and unable to find him. He wants to be sad, and he is, but there’s that relief blossoming inside him anyway that whispers its over, you’re safe that he can’t help but think…its okay, its over.

With that, Satoru rolls up the windows and nods at the driver who’s been waiting for him the whole time. He makes eye contact with a proud Geto from the rearview mirror, concealing his heartbreak with a laugh as he crosses his leg over the other.

“It’s over,” he says more to himself, “Let’s go.”

Gojo Satoru is a firm believer that if you work hard for it then you shall earn it. That’s the reason he got this far in life in the first place, he’s got his tenacity and dedication to thank for. But on the other side, he’s not unfamiliar with his own sins as well, and he also believes that there is punishment due for his sins as he’s earned it.

And the punishment of loving you – only to have you slip from his arms – is a punishment he’ll wholeheartedly accept.

[lazybakerart]

OK ok ok I caved. for that banned prompts tag. high heels and soapy

5am and Steve wakes up to vanilla and honey.

Billy's neck deep in bubbles with his black heels still snug on his feet hanging off the end of the tub.

Steve leans on the doorjamb to watch him, waking himself up slow. Billy has a habit of abusing his emergency key to Steve's apartment with half baked excuses of my radiator broke and you have the nice soap and do you know what's its like to live in a house with a bunch of beta cuck morons?

Steve used to then he dropped out and moved out and exiled himself from the frat and now he makes nine bucks an hour and gets to sleep in until noon most days.

Billy’s head is tilted back on the tub’s lip, blond curls float in the water, the ends getting brunette dark when they’re wet. His glitzy barely clothes clothes are spread out from the front door, down the hall and outside the bathroom.

"Just admit it." Billy cracks an eye open, flings one hand out of the water to point a soapy dripping foam finger at Steve. "You've been jerking it to this exact scenario for months."

"You got me. Discount heels and a pair of hairy legs - gooses me right up.”

Billy frowns, rising up to cross his arms on the bath’s edge. 

“I paid full price for these puppies.” Billy kicks up a leg.

“If it was more than $9.99 you got ripped off, man.” Steve flips the toilet lid down and sits on it. “You need a better job.”

Billy rolls his eyes at the conversation they’ve had more than a few times. Huffs haughty and uninterested.

“If I can pay my tuition by flashing my tits and getting all fairied up - why the fuck wouldn’t I?” Billy snorts, sinking back into the tub until his chin’s in the bubbles, knocking his heels together with a clack. “If I had a rich daddy like you, maybe I’d be more of a prude.”

5 in the morning is too early for this. It’s meant to be a one-sided talk where Steve points out Billy’s issues and Billy tells him to fuck off. But Billy’s always had a sharper mouth on him than Steve. 

Steve grits his teeth and remembers he hasn’t had any coffee yet and he’s supposed to be asleep for another four hours and Billy’s coming off a long shift of dealing with handsy assholes.

Somewhere in that Steve’s supposed to take the higher road and feel good about it.

“You’re not even gay.” 

“I love homos.” Billy ducks under the water, comes back up, curls sticking to his eyelashes. He spits water at Steve and Steve’s too groggy to move.

At least the water’s warm.

“I’m pretty sure saying homos is homophobic. And, like, fairied? Really?”

Billy’s laugh grates on Steve - loud and scratchy and full of himself. “Did one of your little nerds you babysit tell you that? So cute that you think I care. You’re like the care bear of useless morals..” 

“All right. Shut up. Be less shitty.”

“I’m too hot to be nice, sweetcheeks.” 

“No, you’re not.” Steve brushes Billy’s hair out of his face, takes the time to pick the smaller hard to get strands that cling to his thick lashes and tuck them out of the way and behind his ears. Billy’s eyes flutter shut and the warm bath has finally reached his cheeks, his face starts to glow, ears flaring up rosy. 

Steve touches that blush because he can and he wants to. Feels the heat coursing through loudmouth, hard headed Billy.

Billy tilts his head towards Steve until Steve has his cheek in his palm. Billy’s dark scruff scratchy against his skin. Billy stares up at him, searching for something Steve’s too sleepy to give him. 

Billy sighs.

“Can you take’m off?” Billy wiggles his feet. “I can’t deal with all the buckles.”

Steve checks - simple black heels. Three inches. Scuffed at the toes. Steve will probably end up doing his best to polish them back up to shoddy for Billy.

“There are no buckles.” Steve points out. 

Billy pouts. 

“Whatever.” Steve moves over, sits on the other end of the tub, and tugs them off, ignores - does his damndest to ignore the groan Billy makes when his heels are pried off. 

Billy stretches his feet out, his toes red from being scrunched together for so long. Billy dips one foot in the water and Steve catches his other by his ankle and starts to rub out the ache.

He ignores the sounds Billy makes then too.

He’d fuck a pot of coffee right now.

Steve says, “Why do they make you wear these?”

“It was drag night.” Billy drawls out, eyes heavy and looking at the tiles on the wall. “And my ass looks great in them. Better ass, better tips.” He slides lower into the water, bubbles sticking to his mustache. He stares Steve in the eye very seriously. “Never underestimate squats.”

“I won’t.”

“Promise me.”

“I swear I’ll never skip leg day.”

“Ass day. You need a whole day committed to your ass. That’s how you pay for textbooks and still have enough for three squares a day.”

“Then why do you keep stealing my dinner? And breakfast? And lunch?”

“Only an only child would say sharing is stealing. Fucking selfish, bro. The lord baby Jesus would not be cool with you.” Billy shakes his head sadly. “Just trying to relax after a long night and you come in here trying to make me the bad guy and - “

Steve digs his thumb into Billy’s heel making him squirm and splash half the bathwater onto the bathroom tile.

“You’re cleaning this up.” Steve informs him. “And no talking until I get two cups of coffee and a short stack in me and - I swear - you’re not sharing any of my bacon, asshole.”

With foamy bubbles covering his curls, Billy grins toothy at him.

“You’re so in love with me it’s embarrassing. Just get your dick out already.”

Steve tsks at him. “No talking. Clean.”

[arrowflier]

little fic about mickey and his daughter? 👀

Put That Thing Back Where It Came From or So Help Me (on AO3 or continue below)

Mickey had never realized just how many ridiculous things kids put in their goddamn tiny mouths.

“Spit that out before you choke on it,” he orders frantically as his daughter tries to take a bite out of a hotwheels car.

"Put that thing back where it came from or so help me," he snaps when she tries to eat a dead cicada off the porch.

“Are you trying to poison yourself?” he asks as he just barely manages to grab the laundry detergent before she can drink it.

“You’ll eat dirt but not greenbeans?” he asks plaintively when she shovels a handful into her mouth outside after a failed attempt at dinner.  Her dirty brown sneer at the name of the vegetable speaks volumes.

“You know what, yeah, that tracks,” he corrects himself, and brings his beer to his lips.  “Carry on.”

He’s become an expert at avoiding catastrophe at this point, and could write papers on the effects inappropriate items have on a child’s digestive system.  A PhD in when to worry and when to pretend you didn’t see it for the sake of your own sanity, that’s him.

So when he’s on the phone with Ian, trying to get information on exactly what just happened with Liam’s school and what they need from him, and Brit tugs on the leg of his pants until he looks down into her wide eyes and full, chubby cheeks—

Well, it’s pretty obviously a case of the latter.

“Hang on kid,” he mutters, then, “No, Ian, not you.  Keep talking, you moron.”

Brit tugs again, a little harder.

“Not right now, ok?” Mickey hisses, turning the phone this time to keep Ian form hearing.  “I’m kinda in the middle of somethin’.”

She whines, lips pressed together to keep something—he doesn’t want to know what—from falling out.

And Mickey, trying to hear Ian better and focus on the words coming through the phone, turns away.

“So they need us to cut a new check,” Ian is saying, “for the tuition, but also for the—”

Brit shrieks.  An impressive feat, considered she won’t open her mouth.

“Is that our daughter?” Ian cuts himself off.  “Mickey, why is she screaming?”

“I don’t fucking know,” Mickey retorts.  “Why aren’t you tellin’ me what I need to know?”

“Mickey,” Ian says again, stern, and Mickey sighs.

“Fine,” he mutters into the phone.  “But I’m puttin’ you on speaker while I deal with this, so you can hear how stupid it’s gonna be.”

“Don’t say that about our—”

“Ok, what’s the big deal here, kid?” Mickey speaks over him, turning and looking down.  “If you decided to bulk up for the winter,” he says, gesturing at her bulging cheeks, “you’re a few months too late.”

He’s met with the saddest brown eyes he’s ever seen, teary and wide over comical chipmunk cheeks.  Brit doesn’t answer him, and he’s about to prompt her to use her words, when she opens her mouth and points inside with a shaky finger.

And Mickey laughs.

“Sorry, sorry,” he chokes out as she stomps her little foot and points harder.  “Okay, here,” he adds, kneeling down and reaching forward with one hand as he sets the phone down with the other.  “The fuck did you put in there this time?”

He presses hands to her bulging cheeks, tugs her mouth wider.  Slides a finger inside without hesitation, a movement long ago perfected and no longer worth even a grimace, and brings it back with something waxy and brown in the crook of it.

“Oh shit,” he says, wrinkling his nose as he brings the offending substance closer to his face.  “Don’t tell me this is…”

He looks closer.  Sees little strips of colored paper, and the edge of a well-known logo.  Brings his finger to his nose, and sniffs.

He laughs again, much to Brit’s annoyance.

“I know the colors are pretty, kid,” Mickey starts, wiping his finger on his jeans and poking it right back into her mouth to fish around some more, “but you’re supposed to color with crayons, not eat ‘em.”

Brit holds her stubborn silence, glaring even as he keeps her jaws pried open to help her.

“And what,” he asks as he finishes.  “You forget how to spit things out or somethin’?  Didn’t have any trouble when your dad tried to feed you brussel sprouts last night.”

“Ew,” is all the thanks he gets once her mouth is clear, and a wet knee as she proves that she does, in fact, remember how to spit.

“Fuckin’ kids,” Mickey says to himself as she runs right back to her coloring book, and shakes his head.  “A damn miracle she still has a stomach with the stuff she tries to put in it.”

“Mickey,” Ian’s voice comes from the phone, sounding far away and tinny.  “You almost ate her play-dough like, two days ago.”

Mickey grabs the phone from the floor, and promptly hangs up.

[crow-mlm]

Prayer and Predation. College! AU (Zhongli x Reader)

> Word Count: 1k

> Summary: As a scholarship student from a destitute background, you rely on your grades to sustain your education. But when the kind, enigmatic professor Zhongli gives you a devastating grade, you can't help but feel backed into a corner...

> Notes: A pretty short fic to try and get me back into the rhythm of writing regularly (ง︡'-'︠)ง. It's also not very good (no beta bcuz I'm an omega /j). Hope you enjoy anyway!

> Warnings: Yandere, implied stalking, manipulation, power dynamics, non-consensual touching.

"Thank you for seeing me, professor," you stammered, lowering your head in a half-hearted bow. "I'm sure you must be busy," your voice trailed off as you spoke, immediately scolding yourself for coming off like a total sycophant. Zhongli wasn't an idiot, in fact he seemed to be the farthest thing from it - he must've knew exactly why you'd asked to speak with him in private.

Your voice was dry, and the constant demands from your brain to stop shaking so damn much proved futile. Mr. Zhongli's attention seemed to amplify your panic more than you thought possible. His gaze - no, his presence alone seemed to command an overwhelming gravity. He radiated authority even when seated, one leg posed over the other as he reclined in the leather armchair.

There was silence in response, a vile, choking kind. The mocking tempo of a clock proved insufficient in drowning out the sound of your nervous swallowing. You opted to look at his dress shoes, estimating that meeting his gaze might send you into shock. They were expensive, you noted - although, as you observed the moment you stepped into his office for the first time, he was no stranger to luxury. It was decorated with antiques and relics you doubt any normal person could afford in their lifetime, the elegant oak desk he worked at you surmised could pay for a years worth of tuition. It was a prestigious college, sure, but this was something else. His clothes were reminiscent of the celebrities you'd seen on the covers of those business magazines; his coat folded over the arch of his chair, the tight dress shirt that highlighted his imposing physique and the sleek leather belt that curled around his waist. Zhongli exuded experience and wisdom that felt to be at odds with his exterior. You'd decided from that very first class that there was something impossible about him.

Mr. Zhongli cleared his throat, snapping you from your thoughts. The deep baritone of his voice instantly dissipated the static silence.

"I presume this about the grade I gave your paper."

Still refusing to meet his gaze, you nodded.

"Y-yes, Mr. Zhongli,"

He sighed deeply, a sound which made you wince with the palpable disappointment which dripped from it. You admired the Professor, a man wise beyond his years and seemed to harbour nothing but compassion toward his students. Summoning up the courage to face him properly, you were met with eyes of brilliant gold that betrayed no hint of their familiar benevolence. In its stead was suffocating scrutiny.

He held your eyes for a few moments before nodding to a spare chair a few feet away from him. Taking the signal, you pried yourself from the doorframe and took the seat, focusing on not tripping over your own feet on the way.

The professor leaned forward, rubbing his brow with slender fingers.

"I respect you, Mr. Zhongli, and I don't doubt your judgement, but if you'd just give it one more-"

"Chance?" he nearly scoffed. You felt bile rise in your throat. You'd never seen this side of him, almost amused at your desperation. He reclined back into the chair, elbows propping upon the leather armrests to lace his fingers under his jaw. "Do you think I'm incompetent, Y/n? Or perhaps you felt I'd sabotage my own academic integrity for your sake?"

Your chest tightened, tears threatening to spill down your cheeks. You mouthed an apology, hands clenching and unclenching over and over.

"I don't, professor - I didn't mean to-" You exhaled, a last ditch effort to steel yourself. "I have a lot riding on this grade, professor. Please, if you'd just look at it one more time."

Your pleas were met with a hum, outwardly contemplative, yet one that managed to chill you to your core. Standing up suddenly, his stature making you feel even more diminutive, he pacing toward you.

" Ah, that's right. I was surprised to learn that you're a scholarship student," Zhongli's tone had relaxed into an almost affectionate baritone. "Then again, I always thought you were more... remarkable than your peers."

You were taken aback. More than the sudden praise that would've normally left you utterly flustered, you wondered if that information was easily accessible to members of staff. Then again, you surmised his prestige lent him privy to student profiles.

Zhongli came to a stop before you, towering over your seated form.

"Let's not beat around the bush, Y/n. You came here seeking a favour, am I correct?"

Dread planted itself in your chest. As much as you hated to admit it, he was right. You couldn't afford to go here without the scholarship, and neither you nor your family could ever dream of being able to support your education on finances alone. But you'd worked so hard to get this far, days on end of studying and memorizing just for a chance of winning the coveted scholarship - you couldn't let a single grade make that all for nothing.

Swallowing your pride, you nodded. It was slight, almost undistinguishable, but the Professor's pleased rumble ensured that he'd noticed it.

"I'm sure you're well aware that even a gift has a price," you flinched when you felt a finger ghost against your cheek - just when had he gotten so close? "And I can't bestow a favour without expecting one in return."

Bending his knees, he met your level - eyes brimming with unnerving joy. A warm palm disturbed the cold that had settled on your skin, strong digits tenderly stroking the surface. His voice, deep and rich, like honey fit to ensnare flies, made every inch of your body tense as he spoke.

"Let's make a contract, shall we?"

[leftoverenvy]

Tastes Like Sugar (ch. 3)

Summary: India Mae, or Indi, is a music major, struggling to pay bills, tuition, work, and make good grades.  Emily Prentiss is a BAU profiler, as well as a DC socialite thanks to her huge family fortune.  The two enter into a mutually beneficial arrangement: Emily will pay for Indi's school if Indi accompanies Emily to her social functions for a few months, posing as her girlfriend.  As weeks go by, the lines between their arrangement and their true feelings start to blur.  But money can't buy love, right?

Pairing: India Mae Banks x Emily Prentiss; OC x Emily Prentiss

Warnings: eventual smut; sugar baby relationships; age gap (16 years - but all over 18); very slow burn

Word Count: 3.4k

Read on Wattpad | Ao3 | Previous Chapters

Taglist: @ssa-sapphic 🧸; @5raysofsunshine 🌮; @reidselle 🦭; @milfprotector 🐝💚; @gaelic-symphony 🎻 ; @scargarcia-magshotchner 💜; @sadgirlml🌻💌 ; @hotchs-bitch ; @multiverse-mxdness ; @spencersendgame

Chapter 3 - Butterflies

Even though I had a huge financial obligation hanging over my head, I woke up feeling lighter than I had in months.  I was beginning to feel truly excited about this.  It didn't hurt that I woke up to a sweet text from Emily: "Good morning, India. I hope you have a wonderful day."  Knowing that I was on Emily's mind first thing in the morning would ensure I had a wonderful day.

Phone in hand, I burst through my door and banged on Penelope's.  She opened it – cheerful as always, dressed brightly – and said, "Good morning, Indi.  I have to say I'm a bit surprised you want to talk to me this morning."

"Why?"

"Uh, well I feel bad about last night..."

"Don't!" I dismissed, last night already forgotten.  "Guess what!"  I was bursting with excitement.

"What...?"

"Don't gloat," I prefaced.  "But I took your advice and I-"  I was interrupted by Penelope's unholy, shrill shriek, and then she started jumping up and down.

"Oh em gee!  Indi!  Are you serious??"

"I haven't even told you what I did, Penelope," I pointed out dryly.

She inhaled largely, a sign she was holding in another shriek.  She raised her eyebrows at me, apparently dissatisfied by how long I was taking to share my news.

"I got on that sugar baby website."

"And?" she asked with restraint.

"And I maybe matched with someone," I continued.

"And??" she asked with increased volume, looking like she was about to burst.

"And we maybe talked last night and she maybe sent me this this morning," I said turning my phone around so she could read Emily's good morning message.

Penelope's loud "EEP!" and clicking high heels as she hopped up and down rang around my ears.

"Jeez, Pen!" I said covering my ears, "A little warning next time."

"Oh, you should know better by now, India Mae.  This is SO exciting.  Can I see her profile?  Can I see a picture?"

"I don't know, Pen..." I hedged.  I didn't know if I was ready to share her like that yet.  It was completely ridiculous – she wasn't even mine.

My phone vibrated in my hand, and Penelope – somehow – pried it from my grasp before I could stop her.  She gasped loudly.  "Indi!"

"What?!" I asked in a panic.

"Look at her," she said breathlessly.  I tugged her arm, angling my phone towards me.  I nearly fell over.  Surely this couldn't be real.  Emily had sent another photo and she was absolutely stunning wearing a white button up and precious, clear glasses.  I couldn't stop staring.

I had always been attracted to older women, and now the most beautiful woman on the planet was interested in me?  I couldn't fit the pieces together in my head.  She was divinely beautiful, unbelievably wealthy, and went to Yale for Christ's sake.  It made no sense.

"I'm being catfished!" I blurted.  It was the only way it made sense.  She had to be a fat, balding man still living in his mother's basement with five hundred dollars to his name.  I sighed at the realization that that was five hundred more dollars than I had.

"What are you talking about?" Penelope asked.

"Come on, Penelope.  Look at me," I said dejectedly.  "What in the world would someone like her," I said reverently, "want to do with me?"

"India Banks!  I will not stand for that.  You are a catch, and she would be lucky to have you in her life.  Don't blow this up before it even begins.  Now," she tugged on her dress, "I have to get to work.  I'll see you tonight and I will be expecting a major update about this."  She pushed past me.  I was incredibly jealous Penelope had a grown up job.  Two years my senior, Penelope was already graduated and working for a tech company.  No matter how many times I asked her what she did, I could never understand.  She was too smart and clever with a computer.

And then the thought struck me.  "Wait!!" I called after her before she could walk out the door.

"Yes?"

"Can you be a little late today?  Pretty please??"

"Why?  What's wrong?" she asked, concern lacing her voice.

"I just need your help with something.  I really am worried I'm being catfished.  Can you just help me figure out if she's real?  Then I'll throw myself 100% into it, I swear!" I begged.

"Yesssss," she said, immediately walking to our table.  I breathed a sigh of relief.

"Thank you," I breathed out, "You're a life saver."

"What are we working with?"  She pulled her computer out.

"Well," I racked my brain for all the info I had about her so far.  "I have this picture-"

"Absolutely gorgeous.  Let's hope you aren't getting catfished."

"Thanks," I said caustically.  "Here's her phone number," I flashed her my phone screen with her contact info.  "And I think she works in the FBI."

"Ooooh, GI Jane.  I like it," she teased.  "Let me start with a reverse image search.  Send that to me," she demanded, nodding to my phone.  I sent it to her as fast as possible, recognizing that she would be late to work just for me.  After scrolling for a bit and adjusting something or other with the search settings, she hummed and said, "This could be promising."

Impatiently, I asked, "What?"  She turned her computer to face me.

"Think that could be her?"  She pointed to a photo of Emily, holding a champagne flute, in a black formal dress with nude lace cutouts at the top.

Mouth suddenly dry, I swallowed thickly.  I had never in my life seen something so beautiful.  She was angelic; her smile was radiant.  Though it wasn't as genuine as the one in her profile picture, it was no less beautiful.  "Yeah," I whispered hoarsely, "That's her."  I didn't even dare blink; I needed to soak up as much of her as I could.

"Holy crap on a cracker!" Penelope interrupted my daze.  She pointed to a headline which read, "D.C.'s most eligible bachelorette arrives alone, once again, for Children's National Hospital charity ball."

"Click on it," I urged Penelope.  "No wait!"  I put my hand up.  "What does THAT say?" I asked pointing to the article two below it.

______________________________

DC's Most Sought-After Date Dateless Once Again Daily Star December 2021

DC's richest and most famous heiress, Emily Prentiss, was photographed alone last night at Senator Kane's birthday party.  Daughter of an ambassador, Ms. Prentiss – and FBI agent – has amassed quite a fortune.  Never seen photographed with a date, we here at the Daily Sun are left wondering if Ms. Prentiss is a reclusive shrew, or if she's merely protecting her fortune at all costs.  Regardless, Ms. Prentiss remains DC's most eligible, though unattainable, bachelorette.

______________________________

Penelope was as dumbstruck as I was. "Ho-ly-"

"Shit," I finished for her.  An heiress??  I felt inadequate all over again.  Now she was really out of my league.  But at least knowing she was real made me feel marginally better about talking to her. 

I read the short article twice more before Penelope said, "Okay, lovie!" snapping her computer shut, and with it, me out of this trance. 

"Hey!" I nearly yelled.

"Fear not, my besotted, young one.  I emailed you all that."

"Okay," I responded, still slightly dazed.  "Thanks," I said as an afterthought.

"See you later," she chuckled.

As soon as the front door closed behind her, I ran to my room for my own computer.  I furiously refreshed my email three times until I saw Penelope's email.  Dear lord she was so beautiful.  There was no way I was going to be able to see her in person; surely, I'd forget how to breathe.  I had been staring at her photo for about ten minutes when I realized I had never texted her back.

Indi: Good morning, Emily. I hope you slept well 😌 Thank you for the picture. I may or may not have looked at it for quite a while this morning...

As soon as I hit send, I wished I could take it back.  You're supposed to be playing it cool, Indi.  She's a fucking heiress for god's sake – she isn't looking for some silly, over-obsessed girl.

Emily: I may or may not have looked at your pictures for quite a while this morning, too ;) 

My heart stuttered in my chest.  I was dreaming – I had to be.  I pinched myself, but nothing changed.  I turned my phone off and back on again.  But when my slow, cheap, GoPhone finally booted up, Emily's message was still there.  Just as cute and smile-inducing as I remembered.  I decided since this was a once in a lifetime opportunity, I'd go for it.  I had promised Penelope I'd put 100% of myself into this, after all.

Indi: When do I get to see you in real life?

Emily: In a few days if you'd like. I'm sorry it can't be sooner; I got called away for a case and I am currently flying to Idaho. I'd love to take you out as soon as possible. I'm sure you have suitors lined out the door for the chance to take you out.

Indi: If you're flying, don't let me keep you! I know you need to turn your phone off. Whenever you get back, I'd love to go out. Because contrary to your belief, I do not have suitors lined out the door

Emily: My unit has its own jet. I don't have to turn my phone off. Not sure I believe you about the suitors...

Indi: Wow! Your own jet! Why's that?

Emily: We are often called on a case at a moment's notice. We don't have time to wait for commercial flights.

Indi: I take it this is what you meant about a demanding work schedule, then? What do you do about clothes? If you don't have time for commercial flights, do you have time to pack a bag?

Emily: Yes, this is what I meant about a demanding work schedule. We're often called to a case even when we're "off." As for clothes, it's simple: I just always have a bag packed and ready to go.  I call it my "go-bag."

Indi: A real life superhero, really. Always jetting off to save the world 🛫 

Emily: Can I ask something potentially embarrassing?

I didn't know what she had to be embarrassed about.  She held all the power here: she had the beauty, the brains, the money – everything.

Indi: Should I be scared?

Emily: Very... Emily: How do you use those cute little pictures in your texts?

I laughed out loud. She was so cute.

Indi: Emojis? These things? 😌☺️🙊🛫 

Emily: YES

Indi: There's a button to the left of your space bar with a little face or globe on it. If you click on that, it should pull up lists of emojis. They're organized in categories: faces/people, animals, food, sports, locations, and then a bunch of miscellaneous stuff.

Emily: 😀😃😄😁😆😇🙂🙃😉😜😚😘 Emily: Did I do it?

Indi: Yes! Go you 😜

I couldn't stop smiling.  She was so cute and she wasn't even trying.  And even though I knew she was moving through the first few emojis, her ending with a kissy face made me blush.  I was absolutely giddy chatting with her before I had to head out to class.  There was absolutely no reason for me to be so excited to talk to someone this early on.  Call it a gut-feeling, or call it loneliness, but I hadn't been this hopeful about anything in many months.  And I certainly hadn't been this optimistic about a person ever.

I thought back to all the times I had tried to date before.  Dating people my own age had never worked out.  And my only serious relationship obviously hadn't either.  She was immature – focused on the wrong things.  She even tried to pull me away from my studies, saying "music is just a hobby anyway."  It devastated me at the time, but maybe I just needed someone a little more mature.  Emily certainly seemed invested in my education and future career already.

______________________________

Emily and I continued to text over the next two days.  I quickly learned that, because Emily had a real job, it was best for me to get as much work done during the day so I would have nights free to talk to her.  The time zone difference wasn't helping either.  I pushed sleep off, just to hear back from her once more.  I was already addicted to learning about her.  Not usually one to be on my phone constantly, I now found myself waiting all day for her responses.

On the fourth day of her being away, she texted me first thing in the morning, as was usual for her.  But the conversation wasn't only focused on getting to know each other.

Emily: Good morning sweet girl ☺️ Emily: Indi, I'm really enjoying talking to you...

The ellipsis threw me off.  My stomach plummeted fearing the worst.  At least it had been a good week of imagining I could be good enough for her.

Emily: I was wondering if you are interested in pursuing an arrangement? I certainly am. I'd like to go over some terms if you're up for it.

My heart re-started; my breathing desperately tried to regulate itself again.

Indi: I'm very interested in pursuing an arrangement with you, Emily. What did you have in mind?

Emily: I know this is a bit unconventional, but first and foremost, I'm looking for someone to be my date to a few upcoming social events. Obviously, I would pay for all dresses and jewelry needs for such events. Ideally, you would live in my house (your own room and bathroom), keep the house tidy, and cook when I'm home. And keep me company when I am home. In exchange, I would pay you a monthly allowance of $3,000 and your tuition and school expenses for the duration of the arrangement. The monthly allowance is up for negotiation. It would be up to your discretion to spend however you'd like – no questions asked.

My eyes widened.  No fucking way.  No fucking way.  "Up for negotiation?"  As if anyone would actually say no to that obscene amount of money?  Just one month of this arrangement would pay my bursar bill.  I really wouldn't have to work this summer; I could focus solely on composing.  And all I would have to do would be to keep her company and cook her dinner?  I noticed she didn't mention anything physical.  Maybe she wanted to save that for an in-person conversation.

I felt horrible about the arrangement.  I couldn't accept this; it was way too much money for so little required on my end.

Indi: Emily, I'm not sure this is a fair deal...

Emily: Should we increase your allowance? This is new to me, I apologize. I'm not sure what a fair monthly allowance is.

Indi: NO! I don't want MORE money. Emily, you're asking for so little. Paying my tuition is more than enough

Emily: I disagree. You would be providing me numerous services (cooking, cleaning, company, not to mention the invaluable service of accompanying me to dreadfully boring social functions).

I thought back to the articles I read about her the other day calling her a hag and a shrew, unlovable and unattainable.  The press really was awful to single women.  But surely that wasn't worth $3,000 a month.  I looked at the clock and cursed.  I needed to leave for class in twenty minutes and I hadn't started getting ready yet.

Indi: I'm not saying no. I'd very much like to be your baby (is this the proper term?) I just think we should talk about the actual terms in detail. Can I call you later tonight? I need to head to class soon...

Emily: Ha I'm not sure what the proper term is either – I told you I was new to this! But I can do you one better than a call. I'm on my way to DC in a few hours. We wrapped up the case early. May I have the honor of taking you out tonight, Miss Banks?

Panic arose in me immediately.  She wanted to meet tonight??  I didn't have a dress or a plan.  What would I say?  Texting was one thing.  But over dinner, I wouldn't have time to think of something witty to say.  Hell, I wouldn't even have time to stop the stupid things from tumbling out of my mouth.  Well, India, I hope you had fun because you're surely going to ruin it all tonight.

There was no way I would be able to appropriately get myself ready for tonight.  I needed to call in reinforcements.  I texted Penelope immediately.

Indi💛👭: Pen! Emergency! Emily is back in town tonight and wants to meet up. Can you PLEASE come home early and help me get ready??Please 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼

Penny💞💖: AHHH!!!!! Say no more 🤚🏻 Of COURSE I will help. What are you wearing? How early are we talkin? Do we need to shop? You have to look your absolute best

Indi💛👭: That's the problem, Pen! 😩 I only have that one dress...

Penny💞💖: NO

Indi💛👭: I think it will be fine for tonight...

Penny💞💖: Take the afternoon off. We're going shopping. You are NOT wearing that dress

Indi💛👭: Thank you 😙😙 I owe you big time

Penny💞💖: HUGE 😉

I was ashamed, but I called into work "sick" and emailed my afternoon professors that I was sick and unable to come to class.  I would have to make up the studio time for my concert piano class, but this was well worth it.

Emily: Should I take your silence as not being interested in going out this evening?

Indi: No! I'm sorry! I definitely want to meet up tonight. Here's my address: 2730 Wisconsin Ave. Apt. 12.

Emily: See you at 7:00.

Butterflies erupted in my stomach.  I was going to see Emily Prentiss – in person – for the first time in less than twelve hours.

______________________________

My nerves didn't ease up all day.  In fact, the butterflies in my stomach grew more insistent the closer it got to 7:00.

"Stop fighting, Indi," Penelope grumbled as she tried to put eyeliner on my fluttering eyelids.

"I'm sorry.  I'm just so nervous.  What if she hates me?  What if I mess it all up?"  I looked down.

"Good.  Get it all out now.  That way you won't be stupid when Emily gets here."

"Penelope!" I objected.

"You've been talking for a week now, Indi.  She's obviously into you!  You have nothing to worry about.  Just be yourself and she'll be a goner.  Trust me."  She finished swiping eyeliner and handed me mascara.  "I trust you can do this one yourself?"

I nodded, unscrewing the makeup.  I quickly applied it and then stepped back to look at myself.  "Wow," I gasped, "Penelope.  You have truly outdone yourself.  I look hot."

"Well, I had a lot of good material to work with."  She nudged my shoulder with her own. 

I couldn't stop staring at my sultry, smoky eyes and pouty, red lips.  I hoped Emily would be appreciative of the look.  My eyes trailed down, inspecting the curves outlined by my tight, short, black dress.  Though it had a high neckline, it had a slit up the thigh from just above my knee to mid-thigh.  "I can't believe you found such a perfect dress," I whispered.

"I can!" Penelope gloated.  "I'm queen of shopping."  I chuckled.  This was absolutely true.  Penelope never went home without exactly what she had in mind.

I put my lipstick and my phone in my purse, strapped my shoes on, and gave myself one last once over.

"You look amazing!" Penelope reassured me.

"I know," I smirked, "You did my makeup."

And before she could respond, a loud, assured knock echoed through our small apartment.

– – –

Continue to the next chapter

[ashdayposts]

November 26, 2022

Wow it's been a while since i last posted- anyways, i went out with my pri sch friends on the 24th and went to Johor Bahru on the 25th.I got my school bag for next year and i love it so damn much<3 i also got a book from a series that i have! I got Nothing More To Tell and i can't wait to read it! life has been quite fun but tiring so tomorrow i'm just gonna sleep in

Today, i went for my first class at a different tuition center from my previous one and it was quite good and quite easy to understand:) and somehow, i re-pierced my ears at the mall my tuition was at and it was honestly not as painful as the first time. i had to close up my first time hole coz it got infected and the how earring stud went in and i had to get it out and let the hole close back before punching it again

oh and recently, i started learning coding and i'm currently learing html coding language and its going great so far:))

anyways, thank you for reading till the end and i hope you have a good morning/afternoon/evening/night!

[rainy-day-gracie]

Old Friends 4

Spencer Reid x reader

This chapter includes more of Reader’s backstory, I included a brother, but if you don’t have a brother... just do whatever you want. More fluff!!

Enjoy :)

Chapter 5 has been posted!!

Chapter 4:

“C’mon, smarty pants! We can do it!” I was practically yelling in between pants and heaves. “So close!”

“I hate you so much,” I heard him wheeze. 

I was the only one in the world that could convince Spencer to go on a jog through the city, and I think he was regretting that decision severely. “Do it for donuts!” 

When we finally reached our end destination, he practically collapsed onto a nearby bench, his chest heaving up and down. 

“That wasn’t so bad, was it?” I asked with a smile. “We’re close to the cafe and the subway, so we won’t even have to walk that far.”

“For the record, it definitely was that bad, YFN. Don’t try and sugar coat it.” 

I grabbed his wrist and pulled him off the bench. “We need carbs, right now. Carbs covered in chocolate and sprinkles, let’s go.” 

He groaned and followed me into the cafe. “Where will we get changed into work clothes?” 

“They have bathrooms at the BAU. Stop whining-“ I stopped talking as soon as I saw who was in front of me. 

Morgan looked just as surprised to see us, sweaty, tired, and together, at 7:30 in the morning. His surprised look quickly changed into an amused one, and Morgan started chuckling. “Well, hello, lovebirds.” 

“Hello, Morgan,” I said, feeling like I was caught. But we weren’t, right? We’re not dating, and all we did was go for a jog together. “Um, good morning.” 

I could feel Spencer’s nervous energy rolling off of him. “Hey, Morgan.” 

Morgan gave one last chuckle, and left the cafe without another word. Through the window I could see him pulling out his phone. There was nothing we could do about it now. 

It was only our luck. I chuckled slightly at the thought, and turned to the cashier. “Four chocolate covered donuts with sprinkles, an unsweetened iced tea, and a large coffee with lots of milk and sugar please.”

---

I sat at my desk, trying not to laugh at how Spencer winced every time he had to move his legs. Morgan kept looking over at us and chuckling. 

I tried to convince myself that it wasn’t a big deal. No matter what happens, we’re still old friends. We aren’t dating, and a jog in the early morning together isn’t exactly romantic. 

During our lunch break, JJ came up to me. “Why is Morgan giggling like a four year old?” 

“Well, Spencer and I went on a jog together this morning. We went to a cafe after and Morgan was there also.” I explained in a low voice. “He’s now convinced we were on some kind of date, which we weren’t.” 

JJ looked dumbfounded. “Spence must care about you more than we thought. No one’s ever been able to get him to go on a jog before.” 

I laughed. “Well, I think he now hates me for it so-“ 

“Hello, wonderful people!” Garcia called from the railing. “We have a case!”

---

“First victim, Bethany Conlin, was found beaten to death just outside of a small town, Pagosa Springs, Colorado.”

I raised my eyebrows. “Pagosa Springs?”

Garcia looked confused. “Yeah, What is it?”

“Oh um, nothing, it’s just my hometown.” Not much of a home anymore. 

“Oh cool! Anyways, a second victim, Cassie Holloway, was found by some hikers by a commonly traveled trail in the woods. Also beaten to death.”

I tried to keep tears out of my eyes. Cassie? 

The team quickly talked over theories for a profile. The only thing I heard was, “Wheels up in 30.”

Before we left, Spencer and Morgan both pulled me aside. 

“What’s wrong?” Spencer asked quietly. 

“You could barely keep it together in there.” Morgan added. 

I took a deep breath. “Cassie... She was my best friend until I moved away. She was the sweetest...” I squeezed my eyes shut to keep the tears from falling. “And she was murdered.”

They were both silent. 

I opened my eyes, anger replacing my sadness. “Let’s catch this son of a bitch.”

---

Hotch gave assignments on the jet. “Rossi, Reid, YLN, go to the ME to find out what you can about the bodies. Morgan, JJ, you guys go to the dump sites. Prentiss and I will interview the families.”

“Actually, Hotch,” I interjected. “Could I possibly interview the families? Um... Cassie Holloway was my good friend, and I’m from Pagosa Springs.” I looked down at the file in my lap. Cassie’s file.

Hotch considered it. “That would be alright. They might share more with you if they already know you. And YLN?”

“Yes?” 

“I’m sorry for your friend.”

---

Cassie’s parents looked exactly the same as they did when we were 10. Her mom had dark red hair, and her dad was bald. I used to think they looked scary, but now they just looked sad. 

I cleared my throat when I walked into the room. “Um, Mr. and Mrs. Holloway? I don’t know if you remember me but-“

Her mother gasped. “YFN? Is that you?”

I gave a small smile. “Yes, I’m here to catch Cassie’s killer. Um, have you seen her recently?”

Her father sniffled. “We saw her two days ago. We had dinner together, and... she was fine.” He erupted into a fit of tears. 

It hurt me in my chest to see this kind man that had practically raised me until I was twelve so broken up like this. “Did she mention anyone that had bothered her? Or someone she might’ve rejected? I know she’s a local bartender, maybe someone there?”

Her mother shook her head, rubbing her husband’s back. “You know Cassie... everyone loved her.” 

It was true. Cassie was one of the kindest souls I’ve ever come across. “One last question... does she know Bethany Conlin?”

Both of her parents looked at each other, then back at me. “Yes,” her mother breathed. “They were sorority sisters together in college.”

---

“Hotch!” I called across the station. “Bethany and Cassie were sorority sisters in college. They both went to Colorado State, they hadn’t spoken in a couple years, but it couldn’t be a coincidence that they both ended up dead in a week's period.” 

“This makes it highly likely that whoever is doing this went to college with them.” Hotch pulled out his phone. 

“What do you need, bossman?” Garcia called over speakerphone. 

“Garcia, Bethany and Cassie were sorority sisters in college. Can you find any incidents with the two of them that stand out or could be a motive?” I didn’t realize how fast my heart was beating until I stopped talking. 

“Hmmm... nothing jumps out, but I’m going to investigate further! Goodbye, my lovelies!” 

As soon as we hung up, the local sheriff approached us. “We just got an anonymous tip saying a third body would be found in an old abandoned bar on the edge of town,” the sheriff paused, and looked at me. “The caller said you had to be the one to find it first. Otherwise, and I quote, ‘there will be more than beaten bones next time’.”

I took a deep breath. “Let’s go.”

---

The abandoned bar smelled like stale beer and mildew. I felt an odd chill when I entered the door, Hotch and Emily waiting outside. 

Pulling out a flashlight, the eerie bar creaked with every step I took. It wasn’t until I saw the pair of feet lying on the ground that made me stop, the bar falling silent. 

Slowly rounding the corner, I saw the torn clothing and broken body of a young man, probably the same age as me. I looked at his pale hands, and then I saw the ring. A plain gold ring that read ‘be strong for me’. 

“Oh my god,” I whispered. 

My feet couldn’t carry me fast enough out of that bar. I ran outside, desperate for fresh air, and I heard shouts calling after me. 

“YLN!” Prentiss chased me until I stopped to lean against the car, my head in my hands. “Hey, you’re hyperventilating!”

I slowed down my breathing enough to gasp a few words. “The body... a ring... my fault... oh my god, this is my fault!”

Prentiss pried my hands away from my face. “What is happening?” 

“The body,” I gasped. “He was my brother... and I know who did this.”

--- 

The team all gathered at the station. I hadn’t spoken to anyone yet except for Hotch and Prentiss, and after hearing my story, they didn’t have any doubts about who it was either.

Spencer walked into the quiet room the police had given us, looking at me with a worried face. I nodded at him, just to say it was going to be okay. 

“Growing up, my father owned a large share of an oil company. When he died when I was very young, he left my mom everything he owned, which was a lot.” I thought back to when Mom first got the call about the car accident. My dad and his mistress were killed on impact. “We moved here to Pagosa Springs, a fresh start. But my mom was so upset about my dad’s death that she started drinking. Excessively.” 

I took a deep breath. “She would scream and shout and disappear for days at a time. We’re twins, my brother and I. We were eleven. I was about to graduate high school at a very young age and I didn’t know what to do. When I went off to college for the first few years and stayed with my aunt, my brother would call me every time Mom was off drinking. When he was a teen, he got into drugs and pills and anything he could get his hands on. And I wasn’t there to help him.”

“But Cassie was.” Hotch guessed. 

“Yeah, she's the reason my brother got clean. They fell in love and both went to Colorado State together. She gave him a ring to wear whenever he started to have cravings again. One time, Cassie called me when I was at MIT, saying her friend, Bethany, was raped and couldn’t go to the police because her parents would stop paying her tuition for ‘causing a scene’... she said my brother, YBN...” my voice broke for the first time. “She said YBN beat the crap out of Bethany’s rapist. His name is Kenny Rogers, and from what I’ve heard, he was a sketchy dude with a massive temper even back then.” I closed my eyes. “Anyway, that’s most likely who our unsub is.” 

“You’re YBN’s sister,” Spencer said. “After having his ego blown massively, Kenny probably carried that hatred for anyone that was related to YBN. And YFN has been in newspapers, articles, even on TV. Something probably caused Kenny to snap recently, his trigger, and he felt the need to hurt YFN somehow to really get back at YBN.”

Hotch called Garcia. “Garcia, we need all addresses on a Kenny Rogers.” 

---

Kenny Rogers was guilty. No doubt. When the team went to his place, they found pictures of all the victims and Kenny tried to run whenever they broke down the door. 

I stayed behind at the station. I couldn’t trust myself to not shoot Kenny on sight for what he had done. 

“Hey, Hotch?” I asked when they got back. “Could I take a few days off? To take care of things...with my brother?” 

Hotch gave me a pat on my shoulder. “Take as much time as you need, just let me know when you’re coming back.” 

“Of course sir, and thank you.”

I made sure to pull Spencer aside before he left. “Thanks for... um, helping me explain... earlier. I was worried they wouldn’t think it was connected, and you already knew all that stuff about my childhood.”

“Of course, you know I would do anything for you.” Spencer stood there for a minute, then suddenly embraced me tightly in a hug. That wasn’t something he did very often, or at all. “I just...” 

I chuckled slightly, wrapping my arms around his waist. “I know, Spencer.” 

---

After the team took off on the jet, I checked into the local hotel. It was nice and rustic, homey. 

I called Spencer when I had settled in. 

“Hey, how are you doing?” He asked. “The team seems to be getting more and more impressed by you with each case.” 

I gave a snort. “Well, that’s a relief. I was scared after my life story they would see me as some kind of kicked puppy. And, I’m okay Spencer. At least, I’m going to be.”

“What will you do about your brother?”

I felt a melancholy smile on my lips, playing with the loose threads on the blanket. “He’s been cremated, and tomorrow I’m scattering his ashes in the mountains. It’s what he always wanted. I hadn’t spoken to him in years, but he always wanted to come back home, and I couldn’t wait to get away.” 

Spencer was quiet for a while. “Hey, YFN, I just wanna tell you... you’re the strongest person I’ve ever met. You went off to college and still took care of your brother at age twelve, you took a gap year to take care of your sick mom, and in your first few months at the BAU you’ve been able to impress every single team member... and they aren’t easily impressed.”

Happy tears pricked my eyes. “Well, um... that was one of the sweetest things anyone’s ever said to me. And Spencer?”

“Yeah?”

“Thank you... so much.”

Spencer cleared his throat, like he was debating about saying something. “Um, YFN?”

“What is it?”

His voice lowered, like he didn’t want the team to hear. “In college, I... I was wanting to propose to you.”

My heart seemed to flutter and butterflies pounded in my chest. “Um... you’ve never told me that before. Why didn’t you... do it?”

He thought for a few moments. “Well, you were going to take care of your mom, and I was going to the FBI academy... also, I didn’t think you would say yes.”

“Wow... um, I don’t really know what to say.”

“Yeah, me neither.”

I gave a slight giggle. “You, speechless? I never would’ve guessed.”

Spencer laughed. “Well, goodnight, YFN. I’ll see you soon.”

“Goodnight, Spencer.”

[drizzlendrafts]

Memories

A few days ago I was organising my cupboard and I found my old personal diary stacked in the middle of a lot of other diaries and books. It was a medium size blue coloured diary with the episodes and musings from my high school time. I often used to write about anything and everything, like, the classroom tales and the little anecdotes from tuition classes and the several fun incidents with friends. 

With the books and gifts and all the other stationery items spilled around me on the floor, I sat down to read through the pages of this newly found treasure. It was full of lively and vivid descriptions of the several incidents that took place back in that time. A few of them made me wonder how I did handle so much every single day while a few of them really cracked me up. I realised how I had forgotten about so much and I started missing those fun days and a lot of thoughts and feelings started floating around in my head as I walked down the memory lane. So, this beautiful leisurely happening inspired me to write about this pristine stroll in the garden of memories.

Well, memories are the most alive form of emotions. No matter where you are or what’s happening in your life you just settle down somewhere, close your eyes and somehow the space and time around you bends to take you to make you feel what you once felt. It’s like this magical ability of reliving. 

What happens when we think of the endless memories? Well, everything around us slowly starts getting dark and all the current thoughts start fading away. And very aesthetically, at the back of our heads a bright light starts emerging as if it’s the bright opening into the garden of memories. The voices of people, the details of the faces around us, the picture of the surroundings start getting clearer and clearer. The incident becomes real in our heads as we get transported back to that time. Once again, we become an active participant of that incident. We start feeling what we once felt. A few things make us weep a little while a few other things actually make us laugh. In the midst of all of this, suddenly we realise that we are smiling ear to ear and a few tears spring up at the back of our eyes when we open them and feel lost in a trance. After staying still in this trance for a while, we take yet another dive in the ocean of heartfelt memories.

It’s wonderful how such life changing memories live in small spaces and pockets like in the middle of a book, in a hidden corner of your closet, in your coat pocket, in your piggy bank or maybe in a lost crazy nook of your brain. It could be a movie ticket from your first date, it could be a pen someone gifted you who lives far, far away across the oceans, it could be a souvenir from a lovely vacation, it could be a book from your school friend who works miles away now, it could be a newspaper you bought one morning, by the lake, from a small kid who wasn’t able to sell a single copy the entire morning or it could be an old childish letter from your best friend which you now tease him with but also feel nostalgic about. It could be practically anything and everything that reminds you of warm feelings that any person, place or incident glittered your insides with. 

But we humans have this tendency to incessantly make things complicated as circumstances around us start changing. In the process of growing up with change being the only constant we start getting restless and negative. We start missing the “the good old past ”and then the present starts to seem gloomy compared to it. We try going back to the places of our fond memories and try reaching out to the people who once inspired us or made us laugh. Basically, we try to fly back to the setup of the sweet stories from the past.

We might try to go back to our old school, college, club or visit our old teachers, seniors, colleagues or friends. Once again being in these places, talking to these people sure comforts us with a lot of old happenings rushing in. But at some level it pricks our hearts to see how everything has changed and how it was better to live with those old pictures in our heads rather than seeing how those people have become old, places have been transformed, the streets have become devoid of eucalyptus trees to their sides, the old temple courtyard has been filled up with mud idolatories and shrubs. We start to feel robbed of our happy images in our heads. 

This is the dazed point where self-realisation comes to the rescue. If we sit down and peacefully think about it from a bigger perspective, we will realise that these bits and pieces of the several memories spread across our heads, with the passage of time, have come together to look like a big jigsaw puzzle taking its shape. As we retrospect, we begin to see how everything happens to make way for something worthy through multiple changes, just like a thoughtful modern art by a budding artist. 

As greater wisdom sets in through a lot of thinking and talking to people about it and observing the subtleness of life minutely, we start becoming more acceptant of the idea. It’s like watching the leaves changing colours in autumns and falling off the branches and missing the previously complete and green trees but when one of those fluttering leaves holds on to the wind and lands beside you on the bench or gently hits against your face, you realise that this is a necessary part of the process. 

The positive way to go about it is to consider yourself fortunate to have once lived something which is now a very fond memory, that you were able to experience something so wonderful in life and that today you are able to cherish those and feel warm. Sometimes when everything seems to be upside down, these memories come in the form of hope, the hope that beautiful things do happen and that the springs are really close. 

On one of the rainy days when you have nothing to do, take out some time to sit beside the window with feet on the window sill, listening to the pitter-patter of raindrops over the roof, watching the pearl shaped raindrops dripping from the window shed and gently float in the calm pool of memories. Don’t think about the present, don’t worry about what someone said or did before or after something happened, just be calm and enjoy the moment. This is a healing practice that could wash away your negativity just like the rain outside washing away the dust on the leaves and the fresh supple greenery emerging from underneath. 

Memories could make you realise who you have been, who you are now and how you do feel about things and trust me getting any closer to knowing oneself is sheer beauty. 

The biggest trove of memories around us are our funny old folks. There are some days when they open their big trunks and with childish spark in their eyes they show their grandchildren their old stuff. Talk about bald, spectacled old folks tirelessly praising their gorgeous wives from their olden days and showing off with their bravery stories set in the villages. They laugh after every anecdote and we laugh along with them, but if you look closely, you would find tears just below the wrinkles under their eyes because ultimately those memories can’t be captured or recorded, it’s the unrecorded part that stays vivid and creates a hurricane of the deepest human emotions. Our old people know that having close people to share these memories with and laugh heartily with them by the end chapters of their lives is the ultimate joy of having lived these memories.

So, if you feel the present is not treating you well or making you anxious and that life has come to a standstill, just take a little time out for yourself today - keep aside your gadgets, take out all your old letters, your high school yearbooks, your old photo albums, get your favourite childhood candies and while you hum your favourite songs just let yourself loose and experience this wonderful walk in the paradise of memories.

P.S. - We'd love to hear your crazy memories, feel free to share.