#Premiere: Sam Holla

[42frankee]

Premiere: Sam Holland 'Supersonic' by djmag https://ift.tt/3jyUIsz

[leagueofawesomedudes]

Week 4 Preview

After a less than satisfying recap from LOAD Presidente I figured we could get a little 2 for 1 action here. No shit talking, just wasn’t your best effort, you ruined a fantastic week of football and possibly the entire evening. But the original OG preview/recapper is here to pick up the slack. I mean honestly who doesn’t love a little 2fer action, 2 girls 1 weekend, 2 fingers 1 hole, and 2 giant LOADS 1 night comin at ya. Not only do we have some promising divisional matchups this week, we have some steaming hot (dude) LOAD matchups. Not to mention the return of this guy to Cleveland Friday after a 1 week hiatus to give little Solden a rest (plus my bed is a little comfier than hugging the toilet). But seriously, if Chad doesn’t step up with Lexi, my best bud Dom (unless he teases drunk Solden with tequila shots) will take our next step into the promised land and become brothers. Of the eskimo variety. Alright, back to football. Let’s get after it.

Holla’s Heavy Hitters (1-2) VS. 2 Gurleys 1 Cup (2-1)

After accidentally shouting out Sam for his name in the introduction, it’s safe to say this will be roast session on Sam. I mean honestly, could you think of a more annoying friend to win this much in fantasy? Mostly kidding roomie. Holla has some decisions for this week as his current lineup is relies heavily on a 2 hard hitting games (get it?) Atlanta facing a Buffalo defense that still hasn’t given up a passing touchdown this year and Tennessee at Houston which could be a snooze fest or actually fun to watch. Sam has some favorable matchups as his RB’s face defenses who have been struggling stopping it and Jameis facing a Giants team that’s never the same week to week. I gotta go with my guy Holla this week as I see both of his premier games being shootouts. And I mean seeing as no one else has banged a 50+ year old, who am I to bet against him.

Holla’s Heavy Hitters > 2 Gurleys 1 Cup

Ain’t EZ Bein Breezy (0-3) VS. Jon SnOBJs (1-2)

A lesser man would probably pack it in and call it quits after an 0-3 start, hell relationship Matt with a bush on his chest probably would too. But not this guy, we’re staying positive and sticking it wherever it fits. The only two to make a trade this year are already facing off as we see who got the better hand. I expect Brees to continue to shred it up but need some consistent help from my wingmen receiving core, after all everyone loves a good assist besides Sam. Chad is somehow more blacked out than me on a Wednesday reading this thinking he’s in a good spot. I do have to agree as his trio of receivers are locked in for solid performances but expect Chris Thompson to come back down to earth and minimal production from the rest. With that being said, Chad will be face first in a bottle of Tito’s this weekend living it up knowing he’s walking away with another win this weekend as I fall to a pitiful 0-4.

Jon SnOBJ’s > Ain’t EZ Bein Breezy

The Brady Bunch (1-2) VS. Julio Tones (3-0)

I thought about making this the matchup the week but I couldn’t let that be that boring with Doug being involved. I’m not sure anyone could have predicted the monster starts TB12 and Kareem Hunt would be off to. But just like any conversation with Doug goes, it slows down and becomes about Parker or IT as I see happening this week with those hosses. Still not sure how TJ nabbed this team but unlike his pants it is LOADed. I’m almost tempted to rosterbate to another mans team. That’s not weird you’re weird shut up dude. Continued success from his big 3 receivers (who honestly might be able to compete with Boston’s “big 3″ on the hardwood) and beefy backs I see TJ falling asleep at dive bar all the way to victory.

Julio Tones > The Brady Bunch 

G-reg 3rd Leg (1-2) VS. Little Diggs (2-1)

The matchup of the two people who have probably seen each other the least out of this whole group. Bennett feeling a little of the Cinci neglect can wag his little pecker in celebration that his just wait and see strategy finally paid off. Jordy and Aaron are set to have big weeks again against Da Bears (Mitchell starting week 8 you heard it here first) and the woman beater himself will probably go off against the Browns. Seriously Bennett, what the fuck is wrong with you drafting a black guy like that? I expect Dom to tinker the hell out of his lineup after a week like that but the decisions are easy this week as every position is projected over 15 points besides the kicker and D. You still don’t fuck more than me. I expect Dom to pull back the tequila shot of victory back on Bennett and take this one all the way back to the butthole (ass eating season is always in season).

Little Diggs > G-reg 3rd Leg

The Injured Reserve (2-1) VS. Crows Before Hoes (2-1)

Interesting matchup here as the tallest and smallest square off. The newly wifed up LOAD member against the 2nd newest wifed up member. The morning after boozing pacer against the thinks he’s a big time beat maker. That’s right, with the surprise pick I’m coming atcha with the MATCHUP OF THE WEEK. ch503710 (it’s been nice knowing ya) goes into the week coming off monster performances from key players and hoping to see Gillislee and Rudolph join the fun. Pauly finally gets a big week from Kirky and half his squad ends up as questionable as his sexuality. No way Oakland doesn’t rebound after that pitiful week so see Crabtree to rack up some points Mike Evans and the renewed fan favorite old man Larry against the 49ers. I see this one being a nailbiter, but expect Paul’s dreams to come true as these large black men carry him to the promised land of victory. Speed kills, and I mean who else can get 25 rushing yards on Alabamas defense??

Crows Before Hoes > The Injured Reserve

In conclusion, I’m ready to go 5-0 with my picks this week and reclaim my throne of the ultimate LOAD layer this weekend. Paul - I think it’s been 5 minutes since you showed a group of girls your abs. Boom Roasted. Casey - You have a girlfriend. Boom Roasted. Doug - The only thing worse than your 401k plan is having to hear about it every weekend. Boom Roasted. Bennett - Have you fallen asleep at your kitchen table lately? Boom Roasted. Holla - Are we too cool to hang out with the friends you got at the hillbilly convention? Boom Roasted. Chad - Do you know what the difference between you and an alcoholic is? Nothing, seriously text me we need to talk. Boom Roasted. Sam - The only thing worse at closing than you is a revolving door. Boom Roasted. Dom - How you get laid every weekend wearing clothes off the mannequins in the little boys section? Boom Roasted.  TJ - I like you better now that you’re not at Kent changing your major ever 2 weeks. Boom Roasted.

Much love my dudes but someone’s gotta keep you in check. Ready for a big fantasy free agency add/drops at 4am from Dom and seeing how the waiver wire works. Let’s get an early start Friday and keep the train rolling into the Tribe playoffs. And Holla, seriously invite me to your next gathering of guys that ring of fire wrestling looked wild.  

Solden out.