#Pre fall of khaenr'iah

[it-happened-one-fic]

Unfulfilled Aspirations - Halfdan

Author's Notes: This fic is actually really old. It's just been sitting in my documents for a while since I was debating about whether to post it or not. I finally decided to but, heads up, it's angsty and there is not comfort ending. I listened to the song "Unfulfilled Aspirations" from the Genshin Impact OST while I wrote this so that's probably one of the reasons for the generally sad nature of this fic. Also, Reader is a royal of Khaenr'iah. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this fic despite the angst.

Type: Angst (no comfort)/Romance/Reader is royalty/gender neutral reader

Word Count: 1035

I kicked my feet slightly, looking out at the veritable field of Intevyats. Our national flower. 

My national flower…..

Usually, they were a sight that brought me joy as they were one of my favorite flowers. Fitting as the princess of this country. But now they only served to assist me in exacerbating my sorrow. 

Perhaps I was like these flowers that would turn to stone if they were taken from this land.

I knew that I would not, in reality, turn to stone when I left. But I felt certain that my emotions and heart would fossilize and turn cold with my departure to a foreign land.

Childishly, I had never truly taken the time to realize that I would be married off to some man in a far away land and forced to leave my home. In some small way, I’d known it would happen. But for reasons unknown, I had never prepared myself and I certainly hadn’t expected to happen so suddenly.

Mother had said I ought to be excited. As a royal of Khaenr’iah, I’d never been allowed to travel. And in a way she was right. That would be the case for most people in the position of royalty, chained to a single country.

 But the truth was, I’d never wanted to leave this land. I was happy here and had never yearned for anything outside of the borders. And once I left, I would always yearn for what I was being forced to leave behind.

Father had said my marriage would be for the good of all of Khaenr’iah, but I wasn’t sure that he was right. After all, he was also planning to challenge Celestia, who had never truly bothered us, for the ‘good’ of Khaenr’iah.

 He might be able to fool the common folk with the idea that the army of field tillers were merely a protective measure, but I knew otherwise.

Why build up an army grand enough to challenge the heavens themselves if that wasn’t the very thing he was planning on doing?

“Your Highness….” I turned to see Dainsleif, my ever stoic guard. One of my few true allies in this situation. But the Twilight Blade wasn’t alone. The person who stood behind him almost immediately brought tears to my eyes. 

I hadn’t gotten to see him since my upcoming marriage had been announced and I’d feared it would remain that way up until the very day I left.

“Halfdan….” I couldn’t even say his name aloud, instead it came out as more of a breath. I practically leapt to my feet, fully prepared to rush over to the man who’d laid claim on my heart many, many years ago. But I restrained myself.

My eyes darted over to Dain’s blue ones and the slightest of smiles crossed the man’s face, “Go ahead, I’ll make sure no one sees either of you.” His promise was all I needed and I didn’t hesitate to throw myself into Halfdan’s arms. Dain had already turned and stepped out the lone door that led to this balcony, closing it quietly as he granted us a small amount of privacy.

“I didn’t think I’d get to see you…” I trailed off, leaning back to look into his sorrowful eyes, the very same color as the gems that decorated my tiara.

A sad smile crossed his face as he reached up, gently wiping tears from my eyes. Ever determined to comfort me even though I knew he was just as crushed as I was. 

Loving him, my Mother had told me, was a foolish choice. But little did she know I’d hardly had a say in the matter. And even if I had, I couldn’t say I would have chosen a different path.

I’d even gone so far as to do my best to hide our relationship from my parents, but they had discovered it and my betrothal had occurred all too soon after words.

 Since then, Dainsleif had become one of my greatest allies. In fact, he was the one who warned me of the marriage talks in the first place.

I would never forget that day, not too long ago, when he came to me wearing a dark expression and told me what he’d overheard as he stood guard outside the meeting room. The first news of my upcoming wedding.

I scanned Halfdan’s face, finding sorrow that mirrored my own there. But Halfdan, ever gentle and ever sweet, simply rubbed my back soothingly. 

Even though he no doubt wanted to cry just as I did, he restrained himself on my behalf and did his best to comfort me, “Don’t cry, Love; it’ll be alright. You’ll be well cared for and live up to the King and Queen’s aspirations.”

 I let out a bitter laugh at his words, pressing my face into his shoulder, not wanting to face reality, “And what about my aspirations… Will they go unfulfilled?”

 I pulled back, cupping his face in my hands as I studied him, possibly for the last time. His face was one I would never forget.

Mother and Father had both done their best to separate us. For the sake of the marriage and to lessen the pain of separation they said. In reality, I wanted nothing more than to spend every last second I had here beside him. A truth he knew well.

“All I ever longed for in life was to be yours Halfdan…. But it seems it shall not be,” My voice cracked slightly and I let him pull me back into a tight embrace. 

There was nothing to be said that hadn’t already been put into words. Now there was only silence. It pained me that our last shared memory would be one so filled with pain. But it was either this, or nothing.

Through the door I could hear hissed whispers, Dain was no longer alone. His friend, the golden-haired traveler, had come to help him keep his vigilant watch, “She shouldn’t have to go away. They love each other!”

Dain’s voice was solemn and bitter, but he spoke the truth when he responded, “I know…. But there is nothing to be done. Y/n leaves tomorrow.”