#Popping up in each other's dms to either talk about snakes or show off what new images I have found-

[the-real-cannon]

Oh shit, we rambling <3

Oh shit we are...

[chiwhorei]

brown, leather straps

pairing: l. ackerman x fem!reader

word count: 1.5k

genre: a lil angsty, smut, 18+ minors dni

warnings: oral (f. receiving), spitting, bondage sksksksk

a/n: day six in levi brain rot hell. nothing is real and there is no escape. thank you to @messwriting for letting me scream in your dms at 7am and helping me flesh out some soft levi feels sksksksksk. @pleasantanathema said us two together is a scary little duo and i wholeheartedly agree.

hymn: desire - slowed by hucci, and do it for me by rosenfeld okay listen to it again sksksks

your hand raps lightly against a familiar door, knuckles scraping in contemplation against the wood.

this wouldn’t be the first time tired feet drug you down the hall and in front of the captain’s bedroom, not by a long shot. the night air whirls around you, nipping against any bare skin it could reach. you pull the wool cloak farther around your form for reprieve.

levi pulls the door open with a huff, turning back around without much acknowledgement. you watch as he he sits at the edge of his bed, he looks every bit as exhausted and battered as he did when you saw him return just a few hours ago. his eyes are downcast and heavy, the grey color reflecting every body he must have seen fall. they hang off of his shoulders and press against his spine in piles of limbs. the horrors of war are inescapable, you know that as well as anyone.

you also know there’s no amount of words that could be used as salve for the things he saw today, there’s barely bandages big enough to cover the long diagonal wound across his front.

“it looks worse than it is, don’t worry about me.” levi can feel your worried eyes against his bare chest, they follow the paths upwards to meet his face. you waste no time fussing over his injuries, there’s nothing more to be done for bruises and cuts against the pale skin.

his head hangs in his hands, you walk up to stand in front of him, bouncing on your heels as nerves take place in your heart. levi doesn't look up to you yet, still marose and curled in on his own body. he hears the small thud of fabric against the floor directly in front of him, his eyes flick forward slightly to catch the pile of green framing your ankles. you’ve piqued his curiosity now.

hungry eyes move up your almost naked skin. the only remnants of modesty lay in brown leather around your hips and thighs. the straps twirl like vines around your waist meeting finally to clasp right above your breasts. you’re ensnared in a trap of your own creation, prey captured and presented on a silver platter. levi’s mouth waters at the meal before him, canines aching in his mouth, itching to tear into you.

you’re pulled forward by the buckles on either hip to stand in between a stong pair of knees. there are usually very few words shared between the two of you, opting to spend the secret evenings putting mouths and tongues to better uses. tonight feels different. instead of clashing teeth and snarling, your fingertips trace against the captain’s hairline. two sets of fingers dig into the skin below your ass, but the grip feels more like a centering of soul.

you climb onto his lap, either knee pressing into the sharply made bed below you. levi wanders over your body, rubbing against planes of skin and fat that are well-known to his touch. your body reacts as it always does, arching into his exploration. his fingerprints paint your skin, covering every expanse while your lips attach at his pulse. you kiss lightly against his heartbeat, following along outlined trails to reach his collarbone.

levi is lost in your touch, each kiss chipping away at the horrors of reality beyond the wood of his bedroom door. he falls back into the mattress at your soft push, staring up at the outline of your body as the moon casts a spotlight from the window. your presence drips onto him like syrup, calming a broken man with seemingly little effort. he reaches out for you, catching on the leather across your chest and pulling you down. you meet his eyes again for a moment, you watch the storms that cloud him.

“you have no idea what you do to me.” his words shake down the column of your spine, poking at questions neither of you would voice out loud. you don’t answer him, instead you continue a soft assault against his marred skin. every jagged scar is touched by your lips as if trying to heal them. the silvered skin remains, but warmth blooms against the tissue.

levi returns with new wounds that will turn to scars against his beautiful skin, but he always returns. while scanning across the new additions to his collection, you feel the clumping of tears in your eyes.

“you’re going to ride past that gate for the last time one day, aren’t you?” your whimpers knock against him, he feels your soft sobs dripping onto his chest before you can stop yourself.

levi is stiff under you. the right answer seems non-existent, because you didn’t actually ask him a question.

he could tell you that he would crawl back from whatever hell awaits him, break every finger as he drags himself back up from the earth’s crust to lie in bed next to you— but no words seem strong enough.

he’ll have to show you instead.

you’re flipped over in the next moment, back cradled by one of his arms. his gaze on you is nothing short of primal, a wounded animal presented it’s first meal in days.

he’ll take you like sacrament. he’ll eat you alive.

you watch as levi sits back to regard you, his eyes warm at the sight before him. you’re wrapped like a present in the chestnut straps. he leans down to meet your lips again, his thumb pressing into your chin as he parts.

“open up.” your jaw falls slack at his command, you look up to him in anticipation. Jet hair frames his face from above you, slightly tousled. one hand rests above your head while the other is busy keeping your lips parted with a soft grip. you watch his mouth scrunch and a string of spit fall downwards towards your awaiting mouth. you lull your tongue out, always taking what he has to give you.

“good girl,” are the last words you hear before levi snakes down your body. every inch of leather and metal is followed with wet lips venturing downwards. levi reaches your aching cunt, already sheened with slick. he blows lightly against you to marvel at your reaction. you’re so pliant under your captain, completely submissive to his trek against your body.

the first union of his tongue to the perimeter of your lips is feather-light and disastrous.

you cry out in a cracked plea, the night’s circumstances being emotionally raw in so many ways. your body is hyper-sensitive and throbbing. when two fingers hover over your hole and press in without warning, the moan ripped from your throat at his contact is loud and unintentional.

just as quickly as two fingers press into you and curl against the anterior, spongy pad of your walls, they are ripped from you to find a home shoved into your mouth.

“no talking with your mouth full, it’s not polite.” his teasing spreads across your hot cheeks. his fingers press against your tongue, saliva pooling in their wake and escaping to run in small trails across your cheeks. levi snaps back up to you again, capturing you in his stare while his tongue pokes out from those pouty, downturned lips.

his hands grab onto the straps nestled against your thighs, bringing your pussy to him to lave a flat stripe against the weeping skin. you’re taste is intoxicating, tart and heady. he moves his mouth against you with vigor, purposely collecting pools of slick and spit to coat his face.

you squirm in his hold, the contact overbearing, but the cool leather in his grip keeps you in place against his frantic mouth. with every long lick over your pussy, he reaches the apex to suck against your clit. the pace is set, messy and wet. his mouth works your body like it has done so many times before, in the secret reprieve of a captain's quarters.

his tongue traces against your sensitive bundle of nerves, coiling a live wire in your stomach and pulling against it tightly. he releases your puffy clit with a squelching pop right as you feel the taste of your orgasm at the back of your throat. the feeling retreats and levi looms over you again, he barely gives you a moment to catch your breath before the taste of your own arousal is spat into your mouth. he wipes his slick covered face with the back of his hand, grinning down at you.

neither of you will waste words on the resounding, catotonic pull between your two bodies. there’s no point in whispered confessionals when tomorrow isn’t guaranteed.

tonight, levi will pull every high from your twitching body that he steals from you. he’ll bring you to the edge and pull you back into his orbit. it’s been a long day, full of terrors beyond his control.

it will be an even longer night.

all writing is dymphnasprose’s original content, please do not repost or modify. do no read my content as asmr.©️

[theriverpersonshadow]

Lamia Drama Part 8

WELL THAT GOT LONGER THAN I INTENDED. But I guess that’s what happens when you have a majority of the people in one place XD

I hope this chapter went well... It felt kinda rambly, but it was fun seeing people play off each other. It was hard to get the same level of depth with characters as previous chapters with so many, but hey, interactions are fun too! Hope you guys enjoy.

As always, the species of lamia in this fic belong to @vex-bittys

< PREV | BEGINNING | NEXT >

           Keith and the rest found Alex pretty easily. And a few other lamia that were either allowed free roam or had just slipped out. She didn’t seem to notice the onlookers, more caught up in petting Oozy… who wasn’t technically in his hammock. Maybe it’s best he didn’t make that bet with Hux earlier. Sure, Oozy’s close to the hammock, but Hux would absolutely rules lawyer him and demand snacks because he’s not in the hammock. Hux was a rule stickler… when and only when it helped him in some way. Eh, Keith could roll with it though (even if his dice sometimes couldn’t, but that’s what a DM screen is for).

           Keith was hesitant to break up the cute moment between the two – Oozy was apparently having the time of his life, and Alex seemed pretty wrapped up in it herself, humming some tune or another while stroking him. Keith listened, trying to place it, but…

           She was repeating it, huh? Was that the only part of the song she knew? Then again, it seemed like the good part, whatever it was. Easy enough to pick up too. Keith started humming along.

Hux rolled his eyes, mumbling something that sounded suspiciously like “great, two of them” and slithered over, “Yo. Girl person. Ya coming or what?”

Alex looked up, “I mean, yeah, I think? Coming where?”

“nooooooooo…” Oozy said, taking her hand and putting it back on his head. “Sorry guys. I’m stealing her. She’s my personal petter now. That’s the rules.”

“Since when?!” Hux said.

Oozy looked a moment, then licked her hand. “I licked her, she’s mine.”

Keith stared at him in shock, not sure whether to laugh or slap him. “Dude.”

Nikolai gave a heavy sigh, rubbing the bridge of his nose, “Don’t lick party members. Or people in general.”

           “How does that work anyways? You’re a skeleton,” Alex said.

           “Maaaagic,” Keith said, wiggling his fingers in emphasis. “In other words, uh… Monster biology is weird. Or half monster biology. Whatever the fuck we are.”

           Nikolai nodded, “More or less, yes. I can explain it in more detail later, if you’d prefer.” He started coming forward and Alex inched away. Keith hissed before he could catch himself, but Nikolai didn’t seem offended. Instead, he lowered himself in a bow, “And I’d like to apologize for how I acted earlier… I’ll admit I, erm… Overreacted. But we’ve had issues in the past of people coming in to steal babies or eggs, one of the fools tried to snag a mamba egg and got himself killed. I just get a bit jumpy about strangers around them.”

           Alex nodded, relaxing a little, but still staring off at a clock instead of Nikolai. Her hand continued to run across Oozy as she said, “I get it. They’re just little dudes, too freaking small. And some are venomous. Not like you knew me.”

           “Still, I should’ve given you more of a chance or at least asked you politely to leave before turning to threat displays,” Nikolai said.

           “Eh… It was my fault,” Keith said. “I should’ve warned ya I was bringing someone in. Anyways, let’s try this again. Alex, this is Nikolai. He could probably fuck you up, but he’s everyone’s mom.”

           Nikolai made no move to deny it.

           “Hux here is the grumpy snake. He’ll warm up to ya.”

           “No I won’t.”

           Keith rolled his eyes, “He’s just a grump.”

           Hux mumbled to himself.

           “I think you’ve met Oozy pretty well by now.”

           “Sup,” Oozy said, making absolutely zero movement.

           “And, erm… Nikolai, you’ve got Trousle, right.”

           “Hello human! I’m Trousle! Please let me say hi.” Said Trousle’s little speaker. He was poking out from Nikolai’s sleeve, apparently wrapped around his arm.

           “He’s mute, but he’s pretty fast at typing. Got his own phone and everything,” Keith said, watching this girl intently. Apparent soulmate or not, if she was dick about Trousle, she was out of here. She might’ve earned Oozy’s enthusiastic (well… enthusiastic by his standards, dude looked like a kid in a candy store, but the world’s laziest kid) approval, but he wasn’t going to let an asshole mess with the little dude. Hux would warm up, that was more him being a bit of an ass than her, but he’d get over it… probably.

           “Oh that’s cool! Do you have a phone number? Honestly I think my fingers work better than my mouth sometimes, but I guess talking out loud doesn’t really have a backspace key? But yeah! C’mere… Wait, I can hold him, right? Snakes are just, like, noodle puppies.” She paused, looking at everyone in the room. “I’d offer to hold you guys, but I am literally the second smallest person in here. I mean, guess we can try, but I don’t think it’ll go well?”

           Keith snorted. Gosh, she was something, huh? A little awkward, but who wouldn’t be super awkward in this situation?

           Nikolai brought Trousle over and she draped him around her neck. He nuzzled her cheek, giving her little scratches behind the ear.

           … should someone tell him that she’s not a dog?

           …

           Naaaaaaaaaah. She didn’t seem to mind anyways,

           Hux made a fake-gagging gesture at the two and Keith rolled his eyes, whispering at them, “Oh let’em have this. It’s cute.”

           “I’m getting diabetes. Like, right now. They’re just beaming diabetes across the room.”

           “Be nice,” Nikolai said, “It’s not going to kill you to have to actually smile at a human once in a while.”

           “Yes it will. It’s, like, a terminal thing. If I smile at a human, I will instantly turn to dust.”

           No such condition had ever existed and likely never would.

           Keith’s first instinct was to back up Nikolai, but it was almost an in-joke that he’d at least try to defend Hux no matter how clearly in the wrong the guy was. Admittedly, it was as often as not either due to boredom or just feeling bad for the guy…

           It’s not like Hux didn’t have a point – a point that he had iterated in frustrated, sometimes tear-filled tirades at least a few dozen times. He didn’t want to be treated like a pet, he’s allowed to not want to be a pet. Sure, not every adopter is like that. Some might’ve been looking for pets, yeah, but just as many want a kid or a friend, especially with full sized lamia. It could be more or less just like adopting any other monster, save for needing a good deal more raw meat. But Hux didn’t see it that way… Not that Keith ever blamed him. There wasn’t a huge market for full-sized Corals, their reputation as being stubborn, a bit lazy, and tsundere as hell was cute in something you could pick up and snuggle as it chirped indignantly and secretly enjoyed it – like an extra intelligent, reptilian cat – but less so when it was just as big as you and probably stronger. Everyone wanted a housecat, no one wanted a mountain lion. Or those that did need something to growl and hiss would probably pick Kings or Mambas.

           Nikolai gave a long-suffering sigh, “You will not turn to dust if you’re forced to be nice every now and then.”

           “Yeah I will. It’ll, like, strangle my soul or some shit. Keith, back me up here. Tell ‘im.”

           Nikolai had the distinct impression of a haggard mom trying to reason with an unruly kid. He just looked so done. Dude could handle customers, angry mamba moms, being a jungle gym for babies, and training employees who may or may not have believed he knew he what he was doing, but Hux was his breaking point.

           Keith stifled a chuckle, stuffing his hands in his pockets as his mind worked over what to do… He didn’t want to just abandon Hux – Nikolai would know it was just him being a loyal bro – but Alex wouldn’t. She might not’ve been looking at them, but he caught the way she kept glancing over…

           “Welp, ya heard him. He’s sick. I prescribe ten CC’s of coffee with extra sugar and bribery with shiny objects.”

           Hux’s head popped up, body at attention. “I’m listening… How many shiny objects are we talking.”

           “… we’re not bribing him.”

           “I’ve got extra dice?” Alex said hesitantly. Trousle was looking at her in concern, patting her face. She said, “I mean, I kinda like having all my dice, but I guess I don’t need seven sets… I’m keeping the black ones though, they’re good for fight scenes. And the orange ones, they were my first set ever and are not for sale. Also, the green and purple ones are just a fae vibe, I’m keeping them. They’re just average, but I like them.” Pause. “And the lesbian dice are mine. They won’t like you anyways, you’re a boy.”

           All of them nodded understandingly. You could only play DnD so long and not get irrationally attached to the colorful little click clack rocks of fate.

           “That counts as one shiny object,” Hux said.

           “There are seven in each set!” Pause. “Well, more or less. I’ve lost some over the years.”

           “You’ve got a point… More dice for the dice dragon! Mwahahahah!” Hux said, hamming it up.

           Keith’s mouth twitched into a grin as he shook his head at the goof. How was he this cute? Just… goober. His friend is a total goof sometimes.

           “Can I try the lesbian dice?” Trousle asked, holding himself at an awkward position to type.

           “I… I guess? Just give them back after…” Alex said. She ran a finger across Trousle’s head, smiling as he let out little breathy attempts to “Nyeh.”

           “Why are they lesbians anyways? Do they only work for girls?” Nikolai said.

           “Here, lemme show you.” She unzipped one of the pouches on her bag and brought out a baggy full of dice that were lesbian flag colored. “My friend got them for me for Christmas.”

           “That’s amazing. I want twelve,” Keith said.

           “You’re not a lesbian… or a girl! I think… I mean, if there’s something you want to tell us, that’s fine, but I was under the impression you weren’t even interested in relationships,” Nikolai said.

           “Maybe I could get, like… Dice that are for people who are just no.”

           “Ace and aro. Probably,” Alex said.

           “Oh cool. Words for it. Nice!”

           “Give me words for friends with everyone! I want a flag too!”

           “I… I don’t know if there’s a flag for that? Maybe we could put a dog on a flag? It’d be hard to make dice with dogs on them though,” Alex said.

           “Ya could put a little dog face on every side and interpret the roll based on how much they’re a Good Boy,” Keith said.

           “That would only roll Nat 20’s,” Alex said, deadpan.

           “… good point. It could be the luckiest dice,” Keith said, grinning.

           “I AM THE GOODEST BOY. Give me dog dice.” Trousle said, tucking the phone away to throw his little fists in the air, a gleam in his eye as he sat on Alex’s head.

           Keith laughed. “Oh my gosh. I mean, that sounds adorable, but, uh… I think that miiiiight be a little too game breaking, even for me.”

           “Give me dog dice.” He slithered back down to around Alex’s neck, holding himself out towards Keith the best he could and giving some mix between a glare and a pout.

           “Trousle no.”

           “Trousle YES,” Alex said.

           Troulse nodded enthusiastically, bouncing in place so hard that he fell off and Alex yelped as she caught him.

“Are you alright?!”

           Trousle gave a thumbs up, coiling around her arm.

           Oozy had apparently fallen asleep on the floor, so Hux poked him with a stick, making Oozy whine. “Soooooo… Are we gonna get Glitterass, or are we just shadow banning him from this? I mean, I wouldn’t say no if we are…”

           “We should probably go get him, yeah,” Keith said. “Ya ready Alex? Liam’s a mamba, and one of his eyes don’t work. Try to stay on his good side, literally. Metaphorically too if you want, but he doesn’t like having people where he can’t see or hear them well.” Not that anyone would like that, just courtesy really, but maybe not something you’d think of immediately.

           Alex nodded, “Alright, let’s go!”

[pixie-circle-au]

Chapter Two: Roller Skating Isn’t Easy When You’re Gay

Chapter One | Chapter Two | Chapter Three | Chapter Four (Coming Soon)

Content Warnings: Food [DM or send an ask for something to be tagged]

Words: 1504

Editors: Aqua (@duckswithbucks)

Taglist: @fandom-nerd-girl555 @justmeandmygayships

Notes:

I struggled a bit with this chapter, but hopefully it’s satisfactory.

“Listen if either one of you god damn bitches messes this up, I will personally find a way to make you suffer.”

“Damn, Janus, gay much?” Virgil snorted, leaning back on the snake’s bed.

“Don’t worry, we won’t scare off your little crush.” Remus giggled.

“It-- Is that what you guys think this is?”

“I mean you do be kinda actin’ special ‘bout him.” Virgil said, smirking.

Janus breathed in, “I. Do not. Have a crush on someone I met two weeks ago. It’s just that he’s new and… sensitive. I mean, he told me to watch my language when I said ‘damn’. And you guys… just, don’t scare him off. He needs friends, he’s been here for half a month, he’ll wanna know some people before school starts on Monday.”

“Alright, loverboy.” Teased Virgil. The snake simply cast a disgruntled look at the other before heading out the door.

The three waited for a few minutes in Virgil’s living room. When the doorbell rang, Virgil stood to answer, but Janus pushed him down. “I’ll let him in, you’ll thank me later, Anxiety.” 

Patton was standing in the doorway when Janus opened it, and he was holding a plastic bag with some box in it. “Janus!”

“Hey Patton, why don’t you come on in.” The feral pixie stepped inside the threshold and looked around the room, smiling brightly at the two others. “This is Virgil,” Janus pointed to the emo-looking teenager with heavy bangs, who nodded shyly, “and Remus,” he gestured to the other one, who waved excitedly at Patton.

“I’m Patton, y’all and uh,” he stepped forward to Virgil, “Since this is your house, I brought you some cupcakes. My dad always says it's nice to give a gift of food when you enter the threshold of someone new, so he made me make these.”

“Uh, thanks,” replied Virgil in a quiet, deep voice. 

“Aw, you're a bit shy, aren’t you?”

Virgil blushed, and laughed nervously.

“It’s alright sweetheart, I’ll put these in the fridge for you?”

The elf nodded and Patton went into the kitchen to do just that. As soon as he was out of earshot Virgil whispered to Janus, “I… take back what I said. He is so sweet I swear. You could get diabetes from talking to him.”

Janus giggled and Patton strolled back into the living room, beaming. “Shall we go?” The others nodded, standing up.

“I’ll drive us,” said Virgil, holding up his car keys. [AN: The legal driving age in this world is fifteen.]

“You don’t wanna take the bus?”

“Ha, I got a car now. I am never taking another bus in my life.” 

The car in question was a bit old, but still worked fine. It was his late aunt’s, but she’d passed away a few months ago and Virgil became the owner of the car. The four climbed in, Virgil in the driver’s seat, Janus in passenger, and Patton with Remus in the back. 

“So, Pat, you’re new in town?” Remus smiled at the pixie from across the car. 

“Yeah! I just moved here with my family, better climate, less… traditional ideas.”

Remus cocked his head in confusion.

“Uuuuuh… I’m gay,”that certainly wasnt the reason he was here, but Janus, glancing back the the two in the back seat, couldn’t tell if it was a lie.

“Oh well, then you’ll fit right in.”

Patton smiled. There was mild chatter in the car, mostly about what each of the teenagers had done over the break. After about twenty minutes, Virgil pulled the car into a parking spot and the four climbed out of the car and headed into the rink.

Pop music was being blasted over the sounds of roller blades speeding around the rink. A birthday party was happening on one side, so the sounds of children’s laughs filled the air. Virgil handed the money to the cash register and the teenagers, save for Patton, pulled out their roller blades.

“Hey Pat, you gonna go get your rentals? Unless you have skates I mean.” Said the snake.

“Uh no, I don’t-- Uh--”

Janus stepped up to Patton. “Have you ever skated before?”

“...No.” 

The other pixie chuckled and took Patton’s hand, leading him to the skate rentals. They picked out some skates, with four wheels, for the young pixie, and then headed over to the benches to get them on.

“Do you need help?”

“Is this right?” Patton showed Janus the skates, and the snake gave a thumbs up before standing.

“So, you’ve really never skated before.”

“Nope.”

Janus smiled, “Okay, well, take my hand and I’ll teach you how.”

Patton nodded, and the other pixie helped him stand. “Don’t be nervous,” said Janus softly, “Just focus on me, and what I tell you.” The more experienced skater gently grabbed the waist of his companion. “We’ll just walk out to the rink, and I’ve got you, so you won’t fall.” Patton smiled at this, while still a bit nervous. Janus blushed, hoping the other wouldn’t notice. 

The two stepped onto the rink, and the snake gently moved the cat’s hand to the railing. He rolled back a bit, holding just Patton’s arm.

“Just push your feet like this,” Janus demonstrated, moving a small amount. The other pixie copied him shakily, and they slowly travelled around the ring, Patton’s hand always on the railing and Janus.

By the time they got around the first time, the inexperienced skater had developed a slow but consistent rhythm, and was able to slowly skate. He barely touched the wall at this point. Janus couldn’t keep from grinning at the frankly adorable human.

“Hey Pat?”

The cat stopped, his focus broken. “Yeah?”

“You did really good. Do you wanna go around again? Maybe off the wall this time? I’ll still hold onto you though.”

“I--sure. And, thanks for teaching me, I was kind of hoping I’d just… figure it out somehow.”

“Of course! Now, do you wanna take a break first?”

Patton shook his head, so the two continued. During the second lap, Janus was still gripping onto the nervous skater’s arm, but by the third, they were merely holding hands and gliding freely. Look at me, holding hands with a cute boy while roller skating, thought Janus to himself.

They were soon beckoned by Remus and Virgil, who were leaning on the side of the rink. Carefully, they slowed to a halt and stepped off the rink, Patton’s steps wobbly. 

“Do you guys want some food?” Asked Virgil upon the two teenager’s arrival. 

The snake shot a glance at his feral counterpart who muttered a shy “No, thank you.”

“I could eat.” Declared Remus, patting his stomach. The group headed towards the small restaurant, chattering quietly. The group ordered one hot dog each, except for Patton, who instead chose a simple glass of water. 

“So I see Jan here taught ya how to skate,” said Remus, finishing a bite of hot dog. 

Patton looked up, nodding.

“Yeah, he learned very quickly,” Added Janus, casting a subtle smile towards Patton. The pixie returned it with a bright grin.

After they ate, the group returned to the rink. They did a few laps going slow for Patton, but after a bit Janus and Virgil decided to do some quickly. Remus, however, stayed behind with Patton.

“You know, Jan is totally into you.” Remus said, smirking.

Patton giggled, “I noticed. I don’t even know what I did!”

“Well you are pretty sweet,” the deceptively beautiful teenager lifted Patton’s dramatically and looked into his eyes. The pixie snorted, and Remus followed.

“So you aren’t as oblivious as may have been implied?” The silver-haired human implored.

“I may be… hm ‘innocent’ as one might say, but not oblivious, surely I’m not ignorant.”

“You know, I think you’re a lot more than people see at first glance.”

Patton smiled, and the two finished skating, chatting merrily as they went. 

***

Virgil pulled into the driveway of Remus’ house and the four headed inside. “I’ll get the cupcakes!” Shouted Remus as he ran inside, leaving the door open for the rest of the party to get inside. The three of them shuffled into the living room and soon Remus came out bearing the tray of sweets. 

“I hope it’s good. I’m not so good at baking, I nearly burned them.” Patton said, chuckling.

The three others took a cupcake each and ate it in their respective ways. A cam chatter ensued as Patton got to know the others better.

“Uh, Patton.”

“Yeah, Virgil?”

“The… They were really good.” The emo teenager gestured to the cupcakes, offering a nervous smile. Patton returned the smile.

“Thanks, kiddo!”

“Did you just call Virgil ‘kiddo’?” Asked Remus.

“Ha, yeah,” the pixie blushed, “I guess it’s just the dad instincts kicking in.” The group chuckled. The conversation went on for a bit longer, but soon it was time for the teenagers to go home. Virgil drove the pixies to their houses before heading home to his, and each had a lot to think about as they went to sleep.

[teaboot]

hello! i’m writing a story where a bunch of ghosts befriend a still-alive person, and i was wondering if i could ask you about cemetary caretaking in dms? (because that’s the setting, and i know nothing about cemetary caretaking.) or if not, could you point me in the direction of others who know more?

Yep! Keep in mind though that each Cemetary can have different rules about what markers, headstones, and offerings are allowed, so. There is that.

1. The older parts of the Cemetary are recognizeable because the headstones there are usually upright land in a bunch of varied shapes and sizes. They don't stand in tidy rows, and some of them sink into the ground and tilt or fall over completely. Pieces break off all the time, too, and can get launched back at you with a weedwacker or damage the lawnmower blades, so they have to be moved.

2. A serious concern for maintainance workers is potentially being hit by falling stones, so when they fall down, they tend to stay down until they are paid for to be properly replaced or repaired. My mom said she knows a guy who died that way.

3. Some stones from the late 1800's have weird dog-looking figures carved in- those are lambs, and are put on christian children's graves. They look odd when they erode.

4. Some older graves will be homemade, or have countries of origin included. Some will simply say "baby", "mother", or "father".

5. Some headstones only have one date- those are typically for infants who didn't live long, or were stillborn. Sometimes they won't have names, either, but a few do.

6. When cleaning a headstone, first you now as close as you can through rows, then you go to each individual headstone with a weedwacker and remove whatever's been left to cut the grass down. Then, you put whatever isn't broken or a hazard back as close as you can, and take a leafblower to the whole place so the loose clippings don't end up sticking all over and looking terrible. This takes twice as long when there's a whole pile of stuff, so some places won't let you leave anything at all. I believe in finding a happy medium, but that's me.

7. Loads of local critters and wildlife use headstones and other constructs as shelter. I'm always keeping my eyes out for small birds, snakes, toads, etc- toads are the most common, I try to move them to nearby woods, bushes, or finished areas so they don't get cut or run over.

8. I don't know about anyone else, but I liked to talk to the folks sometimes. A simple 'hey nice flowers' or 'sup kiddo nice truck'. I think it might be cause I used to work with a morgue and it was easy to chat with the people who came in, but Idk. Dead people aren't nearly as eerie or creepy as TV makes them out- I guess it's a tiny bit sad, especially with kids, but like... what can you do, you know?

9. You gotta watch where you step, because some places- especially older ones- are FULL of small holes or sudden dips. These can be from animals, but more often graves that don't get enough dirt on top or super duper ancient ones where things have caved underground let the earth sink in over time. It leaves about a person-sized divot that's easy to trip on and needs extra attention.

10. Some people like to leave candy or bottled drinks for their loved ones. I.... understand the sentiment, but. It gets gross, over time, when the packages fade and split, and critters get in, so most places don't allow it or throw it out.

11. Wal-Mart knicknacks. Are the bane of my life. Little hollow statues that break and get full of wasps nests, wreaths made in China where the flowers pop off, five hundred individual fabric flowers stuck into the ground one-by-one that you have to painstakingly remove and put back every single time, with sharp rusty metal ends and wire cores that pull the equipment apart... just. Ugh. I understand, I do, and I get that it's not something people generally think about, but... just. Whatever you're thinking of leaving, give it a quick shake. If something comes loose, I can't recommend leaving it.

12. Some headstones are homemade by friends or family, with glass beads or shells in cement. Those are sweet,and I like to see them.

13. The back of your neck will burn. No amount of sunscreen will prevent it. I recommend a collared shirt, or tying a bandanna around your neck. There is nothing else you can do.

14. Your whole body will be covered in sweat. I wore jeans, boots, a tank top tucked in, and a sleeveless T over top, with a bandanna, safety goggles, and a hat. The jeans got sweaty every day, and rubbed my upper thighs red-raw after the first three weeks. The skin grew back dark and dry and I need to apply moisturizer constantly to avoid cracking. My old sunburns have turned, and some of the worst ones left strips of dry, papery, red scarring that took forever to fade. Again, moisturizer and sunscreen. Constantly. I still have a callous at the base of each finger on both palms.

15. Your whole body will sweat. Your whole body will be covered in grass clippings. Some will fly up your ears and nose. Sometimes tiny rocks will hit your shins and face and feel like bee stings. You have to towel off every couple hours and drink water damned often, because you will literally sweat full litres every day. You will attract flies. They will crawl on your skin. You will learn to ignore them, because at least they aren't mosquitos or ticks.

16. There is no bathroom. The men will disappear in the woods or behind a tree. I would go to the bathroom at home and just make sure I didn't drink more than I could sweat, I guess. I'd take the worst days of my period off and stay home because there was no way to deal with that on an eleven hour shift with no washroom break. Ta-da. I still worked longer and harder than most of the men, though, so whatever.

17. It's unskilled hard manual labour, and our group had no toilets and long hours. Most of our workers came fresh out of prison, but I can't speak for everybody. We were small town, no-union farmers and kids with free time, and most our new guys quit after a day or two. Literally. We had one dude three years younger and over half my size who showed up for 45 minutes before quitting.

18. Your fingers get stiff and hard to move, and your elbows and feet get sore. It took me a while to make it more than two days in a row without a breather day in between, but three and a half was my max. By the end of it I'd be stumbling, missing spots, irritable, sore, and tired. Given a day or two to get back on my feet, and all was good. But there were some older folks who'd been doing that work for thirty years without a day off, and Damn. They've got my respect.

19. The skin on your feet and hands gets hard like leather. Be ready for that.

20. The older guys, or whoever's worked there longer, will have stories about some of the graves. Special ones they're extra careful with, or spots where old school buddies or family is buried. I'd like to say we treat them all equal, but I guess you can't help but be a little more thorough for the young mom who's daughter just turned nine, or the baby from 1920, or the brothers who died in a house fire. It's like... we're supposed to die from old age, after living a full life, right? It sucks a little harder when you know someone didn't get to have that.

21. You can't work through rain or lightning. You see a strike overhead, you haul ass to the truck and see if you can wait it out. That shit'll blow the bark off a tree.

22. You lose weight, gain muscle, turn darker, and your hair bleaches out at the ends. After about a month I was five pounds lighter, with bigger biceps and shorter hair 'cause it was too hot to leave long.

23. Water grass. Is hell. It's thick, it grows fast, it loves rain, and it's a bitch to cut. It will grow a foot high in two weeks, I shit you not. You gotta come back two, three times a month to keep it down.

24. Hearing damage from not having proper protection is a noticeably advancing issue

Best part of the job: feeling yourself get stronger, seeing your work at the end of the day, plenty of time to think and daydream, regular eating and sleeping schedule, easy to save money because you have long hours and no time to spend anything.

Worst part: physical discomfort, aches and pains, the repetition makes it feel like an ordeal of Greek damnation, always exhausted, coworkers keep quitting.

I can't think of anything else right now but ill update if I can! Hope this was helpful!!! :D

[roll-for-stupidity]

5E (Take 2) Recap #3: Grungeons and Dragons (Day 2 of 2)

Alright so if it wasn’t apparent by the “Day 2 of 2″ above, the party got done with this conflict pretty quick in game time (but fuck if it ever took forever in real time. I think even I, the person who came up with this shit, was sick of these little froggies by the end of it. But let’s break down what happened.

I think I’ll start with the green group (even though when we played we started with blue, and we actually held different sessions with only the players in the group present, which now that I think about it was better than the two alternatives which were either one group doesn’t play and just sits there or I bounce back and forth and go insane. So yeah, different sessions).

Oa, Thespin, and Debbie all followed Ea to a hunting party and introduces them to Snuck, the de-facto organizer for dividing up hunting groups and explains that this is their first day out. He divides up the other groups, then takes the four greens (get it? cuz they’re newbies? green? I love hate myself)

Side note: you might be thinking, 

“In a closed society of grungs surely they all know each other and an outsider would be really fucking weird and unusual. Also how do they continue to find stuff to hunt in this forest? Wouldn’t there be a case of overhunting? This world and society are not sustainable. Obviously not much thought or effort was put into the creation of this world. In this essay I will...” 

In response to that: I honestly didn’t think of it, so fuck you for asking. DMing shit is hard. I forget stuff. Remember that time I forgot to mention a very crucial detail that would tip @baumguy off to the fact that a door might be trapped? It happens.

Back to the action

Snuck shows them the territory they hunt in, bringing them all the way out to the edge of the treeline on the northern part of the forest. Stretching out in front of them, and in an arc to the east and west circling back towards the mountain is that giant gorge Oa spotted from the cave at the top of the mountain.

Up close, this gorge is massive, even for the party at their normal sizes concealed by Bahamut’s magic. It’s easily 100 feet across and so deep that the bottom is indiscernible, the shadow of the far wall casting its full blackness before the bottom is visible.

The only interesting feature this gorge contains is veins of a red, clay-like material woven into the grey stone composing the walls of these cliffs. The only thing Snuck can tell them about it is that it’s in the wall all the way around the gorge.

The party then engage in some hunting themselves, and whether it was due to their larger size, good rolls, luck, or a combination of the three, both Thespin and Debbie brought down a large buck each, easily meeting the green grungs’ quota for the day.

Back at the green camp, the grungs all celebrate the good haul, some going to bed early for probably the first time in awhile, others enjoying some of the meat from the previous day’s job Tak’erak and the other guards didn’t bring back with them. Around a campfire as the sun began to set, Thespin plays a tune as bards tend to do, and Debbie and Thespin settle in for the first (relatively) calm evening both of them have had since this whole thing began.

Oa had other ideas. Using his aasimar ability to grow wings for a short span once a day, he decides to make me as the DM improvise shit as he flies across the gorge. 

Which is great, it’s honestly fantastic when my players do that, because I think it helps me to get better as a DM (and it definitely helped prepare me for something coming up soon). And it plays into why I love D&D so much. Sure for a lot of people, it’s just a game, something to do that’s a little more involved than a board game or even some video games. But as a writer and a storyteller, the allure of D&D to me is to be able to tell a story collaboratively, and I think the collaboration aspect only makes the story better because it gives my players a sense of agency that it’s really, really easy as a DM to take away out of a desire to control the story, and I try my hardest to refrain from doing that.

Sorry, tangent, I know. But it’s an important tangent for me. But moving on

In my design of this world, I did not have anything important across the gorge, and I think in hindsight, the only thing I was thinking there was, I didn’t want my players to think that they had to search an entire world to find what they were looking for, just search the area I presented them with.

But, having to think on my toes, I think I came up with a way to give my player a clue without feeling like I was trying not to reward a good solid play. On the other side of this gorge, Oa found a bit of that red clay, kind of balling it up in his fingers a bit. After feeling the consistency, he dropped a ball of it, deciding to move on until he heard a sort of sizzling behind him, followed by a loud “POP,” and where the ball of clay fell, a small crater lay smoking in the ground.

With this strange discovery, Oa pressed on, until he reached where the gorge intersected the mountain. The gorge didn’t pass through, but rather just ended, with a sheer cliffside preventing any discernable way to climb up to the more snowy region down which the party sled after their entrance to this world.

He did however see a small square hole that he couldn’t quite see into, but he could see a faint, flickering light inside. And then another hole, twenty feet away, and then another hole twenty feet away from that hole. 

These holes continued a good way down the side of this cliff face at regular intervals until for about sixty feet there were no holes. Then the holes began again, and just as Oa was about to turn back, he realized he could hear voices. Very faint ones, but voices nonetheless. And the voices were quite familiar, because they were the voices of Sunflower and Ramen. But we’ll get to that in a sec.

Our other grung friends, the blues, which

Another side note: the SECOND I divided them into two groups, they each started talking shit about the other group SO hard. Which like, was perfect because that’s literally what both groups do anyway when they’re not trying to meet their quota so their groups don’t fall apart

Anywho, Ramen, Riker, and Sunflower made their way with the blue grungs to the mining camp, where they talked to the grung in “charge,” Ragga-Bom

Another side note, I say like “leader” and “in charge,” but really there is no top dawg on either side. Every grung is just as likely to be picked for each day’s Weigh-In, except for the elders. Any grung who lives to a certain age (I can’t remember the actual number, but just think senior citizen but in grung years), is exempt from being chosen. The only other way to gain immunity is to either win the Rite of Ascendency (something I’ll get to), or be directly related to someone who did.

Ragga-Bom doesn’t question the blue grungs he’s never seen before rolling up because I’m a dummy, but he gives them a tour of the mine, which consists of a long straight tunnel into the mountain, with side tunnels to either side every 20 feet or so. 

The three follow past some of the tunnels deeper where it seems the majority of the grungs are working, then they come to a tunnel that has been closed off with rubble making any attempt at passage almost impossible. Ragga-Bom explains that there was a mining accident that caused the tunnel to collapse after an explosion, and they decided to refrain from digging in that area. 

Past the closed tunnel a little ways, the mining tunnels start back up again. Riker pops inside this one to investigate while the other two make their way towards the current back of the main shaft. Inside, he sees torches casting flickering light on the walls, and he can see veins of red clay snaking across the wall, something that was not in the mine tunnels close to the entrance.

Before he gets the chance to investigate further, an explosion from a few tunnels back from the closed shaft shakes the mine, and running back with his party members and Ragga-Bom, he and the others can see two blue grungs limping out of the tunnel.

Ragga-Bom orders an evacuation until they can get a handle on the situation, and when everyone is outside, Ragga-Bom asks one of the injured miners where the third member of their three-man party is (grungs always mine and hunt in threes), and the two just shake their heads.

With that harrowing note, the party are horrified to see the uninjured grungs make their way back into the mine because, despite the tragedy that just occurred, they know things will be much worse if they cannot make up for the lost time and resources caused by this accident before tomorrow.

Sunflower and the others decide to make their way back into town, and when they do, they see a curious sight. A blue grung, but hunched over with his fingers drumming against his lower lip beckons the party to follow him.

They do so, cautiously, and he takes them to a tent, ratty and probably insufficient cover for any rain or any other sort of force of nature. But he darts inside and rustles around until he finds what he’s looking for: three round balls, probably the size of golf balls, of that red clay.

He tells the party with a crazed raspy voice that his name is Taka, and these things he is holding are called Taka Bombs (a very clever and original grung, this Taka), and when the party asks him what they are, he giggles excitedly and jumps up and down then throws one at a tree not far from where the party stands.

At first, it doesn’t seem to do much, sticking to the bark, but other than that appears to be a ball of clay sticking to a tree. But then the clay starts to fizzle, spreading out until the clay itself is almost paper thin wrapped around the trunk, and then the clay explodes, knocking down the entire tree in the process.

The party, absolutely gobsmacked (gobstopped? idk, their gobs were doing something that means they were blown away (heh, get it? no, I won’t stop, you can’t make me)) immediately want to purchase a million of them, but Taka explains he only has the two now, and demands a million gold for each. Ramen explains to the crazy little fella that he has a “special gold” worth all that and more, and he’ll give it to him for the balls of clay

The small blue grung mulls it over, stroking his chin and muttering to himself before finally grabbing the “special” gold excitedly, and stowing it in his tent, the party carefully storing the bombs in their pack.

Sunflower takes Taka aside and asks him about the Weigh-In ceremony, and his eyes kinda light up a bit, before looking downcast suddenly, muttering to himself again, mentioning how “you can go up, yes, up. but you can also go down, down, down....” and kind of trails off, looking dejected.

Sunflower then cautiously asks, “Did you come down, Taka? From the trees?”

Taka spasms and yells out “I was red in the trees but now I am blue on the ground” and howls, sounding absolutely heartbroken.

The party seem genuinely concerned for this little frog, but he runs inside his tent and closes the flap, and they can hear him muttering softly. They decided to head back, the sun quickly setting behind the trees.

Before they go to sleep, Sunflower tries to speak with one of the grungs just beginning their shift about Taka. He tells Sunflower that he personally didn’t know him that well “before the accident,” but they could talk with “the twins” when they got off at midnight. And with that, the grung walked into the mine, and Sunflower and the others went to sleep.

At midnight, Sunflower catches the twins, who introduce themselves as Ching-a-Ting, and K’Boom (don’t roll your eyes at the names, the MM literally says that grung names are onomatopoeia for various things, so bite me lol). She asks them about Taka, and they kinda sigh, telling Sunflower that Taka had been brought down from the castle, transforming him from a red grung to a blue, and the process had driven him a little insane.

But even that did not result in the way he was today. After weeks of trying to adjust to life as a blue grung, he finally decided to start mining. But he refused to work with anyone else, and no one really wanted to work with him anyway. They explained that they had kind of taken him under their wing and genuinely grew to like the guy.

But then he had a major accident when the shaft he was mining exploded. He pulled himself out of the rubble, but from that day he was completely batty.

Taking all that in, Sunflower asked about the bombs Taka had “sold” them, and when they saw the clay ball and confirmed that she knew just what that did, they tell her that she needs to speak with Ragga-Bom immediately.

Sunflower wakes Ramen, but is unable to rouse Riker, and so the two party members followed Ching-a-Ting and K’Boom to Ragga-Bom at the mouth of the cave, who looks absolutely exhausted. But when the twins explain what Sunflower has, he instantly is wide awake.

He explains that he’s been trying to keep his miners away from the stuff by having them dig in the tunnels closer to the entrance as that area seems to be more free of the stuff, saying that the explosion today should be all the explanation he needs for that. But he also motions for the four blue grungs to follow him into the mine.

They pass the main area, pass the closed off tunnel where they now know Taka had his accident, deeper a ways until they reach one of the deeper tunnels. This one is lit with only a few torches and inside is a single mine cart. But the walls of this shaft are filled with the red clay, which the twins explain that they have called tak after the grung who essentially discovered how it works.

Inside the mine cart are small balls of the clay that the grungs have seemingly taken great caution to gather. Ragga-Bom explains that when tak takes nearly any physical force, either colliding with something or being hit with something, it reacts by spreading to nearly flat, then causing an explosion. The larger the surface area after it spreads, the larger the explosion.

Ragga-Bom gestures to the mine cart and chuckles, saying that if anything will destroy the Weigh-In and the grungs who oversee it, it’ll be this. The party are horrified for a second, but slowly come to realize that this might be the only way to get to Nangnang, and the two present slowly begin to work with the twins, who despite having just finished their shift, seem eager to fill this cart and gain a second wind.

And it is these voices that Oa hears as he is making is late night stroll past what you all now know are air vents for these mine tunnels (if you didn’t figure that out, don’t worry, my party didn’t either).

Oa takes a good bit of the tak and throws it against the outer wall of the tunnel and the explosion blows the tunnel right open. Ching-a-Ting and K’Boom are speechless, and Ragga-Bom instantly steps in front of them and the mine cart as he witnesses an absolutely confusing sight: a green grung entering from outside of the cave, where the grungs cannot go due to how cold the mountain is where the tunnels end. 

(See, sometimes you just gotta accept that there are rules about a world that make no sense. Like gravity! Ask any scientist how gravity works instead of what it does and they’ll throw their hands up in the air. Why don’t grungs mine through? Maybe it’s cuz there’s no ore out there! Maybe it’s cuz it’s too cold! Maybe they don’t want to! Mystery hour)

Oa basically pulls the, “it doesn’t matter how I can do what I can do, I can do it. Next question” and I honestly don’t know if they stayed and helped mine out more tak or if they went somewhere else, but they were doing something until dawn which is where we catch up with our other two favorite half-elves.

Thespin and Debbie wake up and decide to take their remaining time until the Weigh-In to talk to some of the other green grungs in the camp, specifically a very elderly couple whose names were Hooel and Cricka. They ask about the Rite of Ascendancy, and the couple explain it only happened once in their lifetime. An aunt of theirs, Thwippip, went out and killed a bear and brought it back, and the purple grung was so impressed, he invited the green grung up with them back to the castle.

Cricka explains that they never saw Thwippip again, but that she and her family were granted immunity from the Weigh-Ins, allowing her to grow as old as she has, her husband Hooel surviving on pure luck.

Debbie instantly decides that they have to go get a bear, and she and Thespin remember exactly where they found bears: on the mountain. Debbie’s enthusiasm was matched in equal measure by Thespin’s incredulity, but when Debbie met the rest of the party coming back from the tunnels, all six of the party got on board

I’ll save you the literal HOURS of combat this fight took (literally I think it spanned two sessions), but the party got some bears, the Weigh-In started, they dragged out the bears, and Tak’erak looked amused, but invites all six of them up to the dais where the ceremony took place. Before they could leave, the twins and Ragga-Bom shout to hold the show and bring up their offering, a mine cart seemingly full of gold from a “vein they just hit last night”

Tak’erak, perhaps in an attempt to avoid any confrontation, allows them to bring the minecart up, and leaving the bears and the minecart on the dais, knowing no grung would dare touch them, the six party members, three blue gruns, Tak’erak and three orange grung guards ascended the tree on the spiders that bring them up and down (yeah I think I forgot to mention these. If I had maybe the party’s not immediately attacking the grungs at the Weigh-In day one would have made more sense)

And from THIS point on, I fucking pulled everything out of my ass because I honestly genuinely did not think we would make it this far in the session we did so I had not planned it yet because I was busy as hell and just assumed it would take fucking forever to do the shit leading up to this. Like I said, DMing is hard

BUT, like I also said before, improv only gets better the more you do it, and I am pretty proud of how the entire rest of this arc went down.

Tak’erak brings them into a hanger of sorts where the spiders going up and down are kept, and explains to them that before they can see Nangnang, they need to go through the transformation ceremony, as Nangnang refuses to see the lower castes.

He then takes them into a large chamber with a long desk with three chairs facing the entrance, behind which are five large tubes of liquid. The first and second tubes have quite a bit, blue and green respectively. The next two have less, being red and orange. The final tube has very little liquid, but the liquid is purple.

The party soon realizes that the liquid drained from the grungs at the Weigh-Ins is what is in these tubes, but they don’t have time to process this thought as Tak’erak clears his throat and announces, “Welcome to the transformation chamber. I, as you probably know, am Tak’erak, and my fellow grungs here, Captain Brack,” gesturing to the orange grung to his right, “and Master Soong,” gesturing to the red grung on his left, “are here to realize your true potential. Obviously you all are very qualified to bring in the work that you have. Soong and Brack will explain to you their castes so that you can make an informed decision.”

Soong explains that the red caste is in charge of the arcane, dealing with various magicks and the like. Brack tells the group that the orange grungs not only protect the Weigh-Ins, but are the militia should any of the lower groups revolt.

Tak’erak gestures to the assembled grungs and says, “There you have it, you may choose, otherwise a caste will be chosen for you.”

The three blue grungs instantly request orange, while Thespin, Oa, Sunflower, and Riker each pick various colors (tbh I don’t remember who chose what because it isn’t important after what happens next).

Ramen and Debbie haven’t chosen, and when Tak’erak sees this, asks, “Are the two of you wanting us to choose for you? We can conduct a short assessment to see which would be the best fit.”

Both Ramen and Debbie find this agreeable. Ramen goes first.

Brack approaches Ramen and asks: “Would you rather lose a battle but have no casualties, or win and have your forces be nearly destroyed?” Ramen answered the second.

Soong approaches Ramen and asks: “Which appeals to you more, knowledge or power?” Ramen answers power

Tak’erak approaches Ramen and asks simply: “What does it mean to rule?” (And now I don’t remember this word for word but I think his answer was along the lines of:) To be the strongest of all those around you

The three take a seat and inform Ramen that they believe the orange class would be the best fit for him, and he undergoes the ceremony

Finally, they come to Debbie and ask the same questions.

To the first she answers that she would rather lose and have no casualties, to the second she answers that power appeals to her more. And to the last question, she answers (again, paraphrasing to the best of my ability): to have unquestionable authority

Now as another aside, I would like to remind everyone that this ENTIRE interaction was improvised. Transformation room, grung leadership, the damn questions, all of it. So like if you take ANY issue at all with this making sense or being cohesive or whatever I don’t wanna hear it lol. Flying by the seat of your pants is terrifying and once you say something those vocal chords don’t unvibrate.

The council take a seat again, and Tak’erak clears his throat and says, “This is something that has not happened since I took over my predecessor’s position many years ago taking this very assessment, but I believe it is time for me to pass the torch. We are giving you my current position as Nangnang’s voice by proxy, the highest position that can be afforded a grung of our standing. No one else can bear this title,” he says the last part looking right at Debbie, his purple eyes unblinking as he finishes this sentence

Every grung in the room save Soong and Brack are stunned. The party is horrified at the prospect of having to spend any more time in this wretched plane of existence. The three (formerly) blue grungs are furious that this grung they have never met has just taken something they didn’t even know was a choice and that their one opportunity to bring this whole caste system crashing to the ground seems to be quickly fading

Tak’erak does not take in any of this however, as he requests all of the assembled grungs to give him a moment with Debbie (who had a different grung name, I just can’t remember it). Once the doors close behind the grungs though, (and Debbie’s player and I walked where the rest of the party couldn’t hear) Tak’erak turns to face Debbie and says simply, “You can drop the disguise Princess Debdelaena”

I’m pretty sure Debbie’s player squeaked. But Tak’erak continued, “No? I can always drop them for us.” And when Tak’erak waves his hand, Debbie’s grung form disappears, along with Tak’erak’s. And standing in the room before a very half-elf Debbie is Frulam Mondath.

Now you may be asking yourself, who the hell is that? It’s been like a million years since we’ve even read that name it’s taken so goddamn long for you to tell this stupid frog story. Well, my rude obnoxious reader with a terrible memory, Frulam Mondath is the lady Sunflower witnessed disappearing through a portal in the temple devoted to Tiamat’s black dragon head

Frulam blows right past Debbie’s gobstamped (at this point I don’t even wanna know what the real word is) expression, and tells her that Nangnang isn’t here. She was looking for her as well, but for the months that she has spent ingraining herself in this society of frogs, Nangnang has not once been here.

She also tells Debbie that despite the fact that she knows Bahamut is trying to stop her, she doesn’t see Debbie or the others as enemies. She tells her that as long as she and the party stay out of her way, she doesn’t need to have anything to do with them. She even offers Debbie this world to rule now that her chance at royalty in Thultanthar is impossible. Her offer to be a purple grung and rule Niik still stands.

After all of this, Frulam waves her hand again and their two grung forms return, this time both of them purple. When the doors open again, Debbie fervently gestures the party over and explains what she was just told. While this is happening however, Tak’erak, quietly slips away.

When the party realizes what has happened, the dash through the castle to the hanger where they see two spiders missing, one of which was just starting to descend with the orange grungs on it.

The party rush into the hanger and Debbie, now a purple grung and in charge, grabs an orange guard and orders him to have all the grungs assemble at the base of the mountain, wanting to make an announcement. Then she runs after the party who all descend down to the ground.

On the ground, Thespin works with the guard to get as many grungs as they can to the mountain for the speech, Oa and Ramen look around furiously for Tak’erak but cannot find him anywhere. Also, the bears are still on the dais, but the minecart has disappeared and the orange grungs are nowhere to be seen.

In the throng of grungs making their way to the mountain, Sunflower spots Taka and scoops him up onto her shoulders and everyone makes their way to where Debbie has set herself up on a rock to be fully visible to everyone.

When all the grungs have arrived, the party is still looking around for Tak’erak, but still see nothing as Debbie begins her speech:

“As you may know by now, I am your new ruler. And as your ruler I want to make a very important announcement that all of you deserve to know: Nangnang, your god, is dead.”

Almost as if timed by a very dramatic DM, there is an absolutely massive explosion.

Grungs run everywhere, not knowing where to go. Taka wriggles off of Sunflower’s shoulders and goes dashing for the mine. Riker and Ramen run after him as Sunflower runs, scoops up Debbie, and grabs Thespin and begins to run up the mountain. This mission is over.

Oa, seemingly unfazed by the events around him, just takes a seat at the base of a tree. Ea (who I definitely never forgot about), walks up to him, sighs, and just says, “You guys should probably get out of here. I’ll stay and run damage control as best I can. But y’all’s job here is done unfortunately.”

Oa kind of shrugs his shoulders and begins walking up the mountain.

Meanwhile, Taka bolted into the mine, dodging the grungs running everywhere, trying to figure out what made that explosion and what needs to be done to fix the damage. Riker and Ramen have a harder time getting through, and when they finally make it into the mine, Taka is a good deal in front of them.

He darts into a tunnel, and when the two pursuers reach that tunnel, they realize it’s the closed off tunnel where Taka had his accident. The two of them have to clear some of the rubble away, being bigger than grung sized. When they do, they run after the little grung who is now almost at the end of this tunnel.

As they do, they almost trip over something, which on closer inspection, is the shriveled up body of a dead grung. And this grung is wearing a cloak and underclothes identical to the Taka who has now turned to face Riker and Ramen, and they realize this is Taka. Or at least it was.

And they know this for certain when they see the figure at the end of the tunnel begin to transform as they shout a single word: “Nikek!” And as white flames begin to lick up the body of this changing form, they realize the Taka they knew is becoming a woman with dark purple robes, jet black hair, and purple eyes. Taka is Frulam.

Right as Frulam is about to disappear, Riker charges after her and the two of them disappear in a bright light, leaving only a rune that Ramen recognizes as the same rune they used to bring them here.

Ramen drops to his knees, his world shattered. And he probably would have remained that way for a good bit longer, were it not for the fact that the rune began glowing again. But it wasn’t taking anyone away this time. It was bringing something back.

That something was a giant wave of water that nearly washed Ramen out of the tunnel, and in this water was a giant orange shark, which snapped at Ramen until the water settles and the shark flops helplessly until it cannot anymore. And Ramen cries.

Ramen and Oa march back up the hill together, and when the party is together again, they say the command word to bring them back to Bahamut: “Nogoorsa.”

So now we’re all caught up! This post alone literally took me uhhhh 3 hours to write, but now y’all know what your favorite characters have been up to. We’ll be starting back up again very, very soon, so stay tuned for the recap of our first session back! Till then, I’ve got a few more posts planned. Ciao for now!

P.S. Thanks to my handy dandy queue schedule, I know this will post on my birthday!! Now if a police officer busts down our door while we’re drinking and playing D&D all he can do is say “fucking nerds” and go away instead of arresting me!