#Poor Reggie doesn't realize his agent is right. there.

[wyvchard]

Even if you can't see me as me anymore...

... would you still be kind to me?

CW: Whump, mentions of alcohol

Prompt: Agent Phoenix went missing in the middle of a mission, only to return to the agency with the coldest welcome they've ever received.

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Reginald took in a breath as he sighed, wine glass stained with the 4th? 5th? He lost count after three.

It was supposed to be an easy mission. Unlike how retrieving Roxana's research had been. It was just "go to the abandoned location, poke around a bit, and head back".

But of course things always had to end up this complicated.

His agent went missing after a blurry set of events. The camera they were equipped with and their ocular units were struggling to keep track of everything, the signal grainy as the waves travelled through material designed to hinder such transmissions.

But the disrepair was sufficient to be able to send just enough information to paint nightmares that will last for days.

"How do I explain this to the board of directors? Even I don't know what happened." He sighed, looking at his scratchy notes as he tried to rewind the footage. He paused when he head a transmission in his headphones.

"Crane, we got a situation in the Enhanced Operatives Division. Apparently, some agents saw a Zoraxis operative wandering in the building. However, others are saying they saw a ghost."

"Why isn't the building on lockdown?" He suppressed a sigh, the hangover coming closer than he thought possible.

"The building is on lockdown, just that it can't be announced. We're rewinding footage as we speak but the security team is in arms arguing at who they saw."

"Why is that the case? Is there an agent breaking probation?"

"That's the issue. The security team saw Agent Typhoon walking in."

"Isn't Agent Typhoon on probation for provoking several security officers?"

"Exactly. But when security called, Agent Typhoon answered, which the agent in the camera did not do. And then security started freaking out since the agent in the cameras vanished, as if they knew where it is. If we issue a lockdown, they might get away."

"Do you think we've been-"

Reginald cut his words when he received the notification that his agent returned to the building.

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Phoenix walked back to their apartment, deciding to take a pit stop there to patch up the shallow cuts so their handler wouldn't fuss over them all over again. The visits to the medical wing was troublesome as they would be taken off the field for a while once more. Something about the latest time they almost died seemed to have caused him to fret about their well-being way too much.

They were already unsettled by the fact that their ocular implant was causing their vision to turn to static. They hesitantly turned it off as soon as they regained consciousness, shivering away the thought of their handler losing contact with them as their earpiece and body camera was left shattered after that frigid wind caused them to shut their eyes. As much as they would want to keep contact, they were nervous that the static would render them unconscious.

Bandages covered their skin by the time they were finished with patching up. Their fingers were still trembling as the cold jabs of the disinfectant started to subside. They steadied their breathing before deciding to abandon the floor to grab their debrief and broken equipment with their hands.

Securing their hat with the feather pin in their head as the rest of their hair was tucked into it, they headed to their office in the agency, hoping that their handler hadn't decided to confuse liquor with water.

It was supposed to be an uneventful walk, considering it was way beyond what time any reasonable person would walk down the street in. They faltered in their steps several times as the hostile gaze of the ones they passed by traced up their back.

It wasn't the usual gazes of a Zoraxis operative who wants to kill them that bothers them, no. It was the feeling of loathing someone right in front of your face while showing a smile, waiting to pounce for the moment you can wash your hands to pretend you aren't the one who wrung the life out of your abhorred.

They adjusted their hat and trench coat as they entered the agency, still feeling the same looks from the bystanders a couple of blocks before. They still pushed through, 'maybe they got worried', they thought.

"Agent, shouldn't you be in probation?" The security officer greeted them with hostility, taking away their voice with the way they were looked at.

They merely shook their head before passing through the checkpoint and bolted to Reginald's office.

Probation? What would they be in probation for? Was it their hobby of publishing papers?

The gazes of the other agents don't matter to them, ignoring the gasps and silent weeps from the other agents. Others peppered them with profanities.

They have to get to Reggie. Everything is just too much. He must know what's going on.

They avoided the cameras out of habit, despite the fact that the entire agency already knew they survived the death engine. Old habits die hard and those months of hiding the fact they survived that in order to keep up the cover story don't just vanish out of nowhere.

Reginald opened his door, only to pause with a forlorn gaze. Phoenix walked in and shut the door, calling out his name.

"Agent, not tonight. Please. I don't have the energy to deal with this right now. Maybe tomorrow but not now."

Their words, begging for answers and reaching out to hug him, paralyzed him, as if they were something he wasn't meant to be holding onto.

"I'm really sorry, Agent. It was all my fault. I shouldn't have-I should have-" He heaved, shaking as his eyes widened once more. "... Please leave me alone. Please." They refused and merely held onto him for a hug, caging him so he doesn't escape.

Phoenix was in the brink of tears when they noticed the bottles of alcohol on his desk. They used their TK to activate the emergency line and hoped that he wouldn't pass out from drinking.

They quietly counted the minutes in their head and tried to calm him down, supporting his trembling body with their own.

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"Handler, what's going on? Why is this happening?" His agent was crying as the water was leaking in the escape pod.

"I was told that those escape pods are safe. Hold on, I-I'll think of something."

"Don't bother. It's too late. Thank you for trying anyway, Handler."

He knows. He knows he shouldn't be clinging to the phantoms of his imagination, of the wish he could come to them and tell them he's proud of them. But it's too late. That agent's dead and his current one is missing.

But will it be so bad if he clings to this for tonight? Clings to the thought he could say sorry for failing them one more time?

The warmth of the hands patting his back soothed him a bit but it was awful. He was the handler, he should be the one taking care of his agents and yet here he is, pathetically crying in the arms of the agent he failed to save.

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Phoenix knew not to interfere with the medical personnel when they took him away.

They were still shaking when one of the medical personnel told them to get rest back in their ward and telling them that Phoenix will come back to take care of their Handler soon.

... They weren't injured. They have no reason to get to a ward. Right?

But... it still doesn't explain why Reggie called them with a different agent's name, a mix of syllables that they know they have read or heard somewhere.

Maybe they're both sleep deprived. Some water may help.

They paused when they saw the mirror when they were washing their face. Those eyes weren't theirs, nor the shade of the lips.

It wasn't their face.

But that doesn't make sense. Their handler never... None of the other agents...

Just what did that chemical in that laboratory do to them?

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AAAaaand Cut!

Spoilers on how it works here.

I hope to make a multi chapter version soon. There is a rough outline but I am not sure if I'll stick to it.

@phoenix-and-found-family , I wonder how your Phoenix will react to being in this situation.