#Polly lizzie tommy all had a horrific time of it

[divinekangaroo]

in a cage with lions, i learned to speak lion - pettiot - Peaky Blinders (TV) [Archive of Our Own]

Part 1 | Part 2: sharpen my teeth til meaningless

Post S2-E6 Epsom aftermath. A 3.5 hour drive back to Birmingham from the racecourse, and no one was there to take little Lizzie Stark home.

None of this eight bloody pound Lizzie nonsense. She was so very tired of people thinking she was cheap.

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Gen | Lizzie Stark & Polly Gray, Lizzie Stark & Tommy Shelby | post-rape aftermath, post-murder aftermath, Drunkenness, Found Family, Dysfunctional Family, Manic Tommy, Class Issues, Wealth Issues, glossing over the Shelby Co Ltd company structure, post-near-death-experience, mild ethnic slur (stereotyping)

[tommygrace]

Cillian Murphy talking about Tommy and Grace.

Tell us about Tommy’s relationship with Grace

"He meets this girl who works in the pub and she gets to him. You begin to see the chink and the man that we would have known from before the war. It’s a beautifully observed relationship because it happens very, very subtly and slowly - it’s sort of a gradual defrosting between the two of them. It becomes quite intense over the course of the series. He has that fierce drive and ambition, and capacity for violence but also you see the other side of the man and the beauty of it is that he starts falling in love with this girl."

https://www.bbc.co.uk/mediacentre/mediapacks/peakyblinders/cillian-murphy/

"I think the pre-war Tommy used to smile a lot, he laughed a lot, he wanted to work with horses. He was very romantic. And all of these things, you see scratches of them, you know, throughout the show and there's times when he feels like he's getting towards some sort of healing when he's with Grace. And then it's taken away again. And then he retreats back into that kind of shell emotionally."

https://m.youtube.com/watch?si=fAsbq1pRtnkWzM0I&v=ykJJ2nHIX4A&feature=youtu.be

"We meet him at the beginning of season 3 you know he kind of ostensibly has everything that he could wish for you know certainly materially and you would expect emotionally because he now has you know the woman that he loves.and he has a little baby and he has lived in this vast vast mansion."

"Grace and the kid represent kind of the purity in his life you know really and then over the course of the season she gets stolen away from him and then right the end the kid gets stolen away from them and so they kind of everything that's pure in his life seems to be under trait throughout the course of this seríes."

" it's heartbroken,. she's such a fantastic character and you know such a great time working with Annabelle on the show and you know she in one and two she kind of altered to Tommy I think that light side of Tommy that he left behind in the trenches and in France um was kind of reignited by her and I love the duality of the character because she is in one hand a secret agent and then the other hand you know a loving wife and she's a strong strong lady , Steven write such strong women so yeah it's a bit of a shocker to read it."

https://m.youtube.com/live/oVC7pRfoyxE?si=ua154aB4GPLa0IN3

Cillian Murphy agrees that Tommy Shelby was, and still is, beholden to the women in his life. “All the good stuff in Tommy comes, through his mother, from the Romany side. Polly’s the one he trusts most. And he loves his sister, Ada, even though he’s frustrated by her politics. His romantic relations are less straightforward.”

That puts it mildly. In series one and two, Tommy swung between Irish secret agent Grace Burgess and horse-loving aristocrat May Carleton. No sooner did he marry Grace at the beginning of series three than she was murdered. Since then, he’s had a go at orgies and erotic asphyxiation with Tatiana, a double-crossing White Russian, and enjoyed regular hook-ups with his brother John’s ex-fiancée, Lizzie Stark.

Murphy takes a deep breath. “Right,” he says, “during the time Tommy was married to Grace he was completely faithful. Prior to that, sex was basically a way of self-medicating, then Grace’s death spun him off into something else entirely. I think that as we meet him now, he’s probably shut down again emotionally, and sex is just a physical need that has to be met.”

https://www.radiotimes.com/tv/drama/peaky-blinders-series-4-women/

And also Steven Knight.

It shut him down emotionally?

"During really horrific war situations, human beings change very quickly. Some part of the subconscious decides ‘If you’re going to survive, you’ve got to be like this’ so that’s who you become – hard and brutal and all of those things that happen to soldiers. When Tommy got back, he couldn’t stop that. He was frozen inside, like a lot of people who’ve suffered the trauma of war.

Tommy was locked up and frozen inside for a long time. Then he met Grace and she changed things, she unlocked the doors a bit. Then as soon as that happens, it gets closed down again because she gets killed.

What I keep doing with these characters is offering them a road to happiness and then blowing the bridge up and not letting them go down it. Polly too, would have been happy perhaps with Aberama, but then he’s taken away from her as well."

Is there special significance to Grace’s name?

"Yes. She was exactly that, the old Puritan Christian concept of grace – whether you’re good or not, sometimes somebody comes to you and saves you, even if you don’t deserve it. The idea of an unearned saviour coming to save you is exactly what Grace was, and Tommy sort of didn’t deserve it. Then she was taken away so he was thrown back."

https://peakyblinders.tv/exclusive/steven-knight-on-tommy-shelby/

[mischievouslittlecreature]

Part 21: The Shadow of the Abattoir

Summary: Tommy's frantic search for Lucy causes him to lash out in destructive ways.

Word Count: 4,530

Warnings: Suicidal thoughts, pregnancy, panic attacks, Tommy throwing multiple temper tantrums and getting briefly a little aggressive towards Lizzie, and references to torture, rape, and pedophilia.

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Chapter 22: Made of Wood & Wire

Tommy was aware that he was panicking.

Pacing back and forth like a caged animal across the length of the betting shop floor, fingers flexing at his sides, he battled to keep his head on straight. Every instinct inside him wanted to race out the door, and tear the entire city apart brick by brick until he’d found her. 

The clock on the wall served to torment him. Every time he glanced at it, he was reminded that with each passing tick of the second hand around its circumference, the possibility of finding Lucy alive slipped a little further away.   

After receiving no answer from Lizzie’s house, he’d called up Arthur, Isiah, Jeremiah, Johnny Dogs, his Uncle Charlie, and all the men that they had in the area to send them out to search across the entire city. He had initially been intending to go with them, but Ada had convinced him to instead set up a base of operations at the betting shop.

The idea itself wasn’t bad; it meant that everyone knew where to go or call with any information they might find. What Ada hadn’t taken into consideration, however, was that standing around, doing nothing, just waiting to hear if the woman that he loved more than anything in the entire world was fucking dead or not, was about to drive him to the brink of insanity. 

“Tommy, love, come sit down for a moment.” Ada tried, not for the first time. She was seated at one of the long tables by a telephone, a pile of takings stacked nearly to her left. Beside her, having only just returned from her excursion with the Golds to hide Michael with kin out in the countryside, was Polly. Upon their return, Aberama and Bonnie had hastily joined the search.

Ignoring Ada, Tommy continued to pace, feeling seconds away from jumping out of his own skin. In his mind, for easily the thousandth time, he went over everywhere that Lucy might’ve gotten grabbed.

It was not just visions of Lucy dead or beaten or injured that swam behind his eyes anymore. It was memories of Charlie, swiped from right under his nose by Father Hughes’s people and barely returned to him in one piece. Grace, with a bullet in her chest and her blood gushing out to form a puddle around them while she died in his arms. Greta, her hand clasped in his, her breaths rattling in her lungs until her grip went slack and she breathed no more. 

Not her too. Please, not Lucy too. Have I not already lost enough?

He didn’t think he would survive it, if Lucy was taken from him.

“Maybe she just got sidetracked going after a lead on one of the Italians,” Polly suggested. Tommy shook his head with a grunt. 

“No.”  

She had promised, after going after Alessio, not to do something like that again without telling him first. She had promised. And Lucy was not one who often broke her promises to him. 

His stomach clenched again with that sick feeling that something was horrifically wrong. 

“I’ll be back before lunch.” Her words echoed in his head. But lunch was long gone, and she was nowhere to be found.

The door opened, and Arthur came in, sweeping his hat off of his head.

“Where is she?” Tommy demanded, voice dangerously close to pleading. Arthur’s expression was grave.

“We don’t know.”

Tommy felt like he was going to be sick. It was like what had happened with Charlie all over again. 

The boy had been up earlier, intrigued by all the excitement, and when he asked Tommy innocently where Lucy was, Tommy had to fight back the urge to cry, instead plastering a smile on his face and scooping his son up into his arms to carry him to his room upstairs. All while explaining that Lucy was out, but that she would be home soon. 

He did not know how, if it came to it, he was going to be able to tell his son that he’d lost another mother. 

“How did this fucking happen?” he growled, starting up pacing again. “Eh? How the hell did this fucking happen!?” he was shouting, but at no one in particular.

“Tommy, calm down–” Polly started.

“Don’t you fucking tell me to calm down!” he swatted out with one hand and sent a glass of whiskey perched on the edge of a table flying. “Don’t you fucking tell me to calm down when we have at least a dozen Italians still after us, and the woman I love is fucking missing!” he stopped prowling from side to side, sweeping his arms out wide. “Now does anyone have anything fucking useful for me!?”

He was met with nothing but silence. Dropping his arms back to his sides, his gaze swept across the faces of everyone huddled in the shop. At some point–likely during his tantrum–Aberama, Bonnie, Johnny Dogs, Uncle Charlie, and Finn had all come in. Tommy shook his head, grappling at every ounce of strength he had left to keep himself pulled together. 

Everything had seemed to have become ten thousand times harder, without Lucy at his side. He could hardly fucking think, his mind so clouded with panic and fear for her.  

How could she have just disappeared, in the middle of their own territory, seemingly without a trace?

The thought that they’d been betrayed was not one that he’d wanted to consider. He’d shoved it away, until now. But when he glanced over at the clock on the wall and saw what hour it was, his throat went dry. 

He needed to consider all possibilities. 

Of all the people in their organization, there were two who hated Lucy enough for it to be not wholly improbable that they would willingly hand her over to the Italians.

Polly was the first. But she had been away dealing with Michael, and she’d had her chance to give him and Lucy up earlier, and she hadn’t taken it. No, Polly was smart enough to understand that the absolute hell that he would bring down upon her if he discovered that she’d sold out Lucy wasn’t worth it. And she had to know that Lucy was an invaluable figure in their organization with her skill sets. Not even Polly, much as she disliked her, would be rash enough to take one of their greatest assets off the board out of nothing but simple spite.

“We managed to track down Mr. Wilson from the shoe shop that you said Lucy planned to go to before heading over to Miss. Stark’s house,” Aberama spoke up. “He had closed up early for the day after lunch, but we found him at home. He said that Lucy came in to place an order for a new set of shoes and left without a fuss a little before eleven o’clock.”

That meant that she had completed her list of errands before heading over to Lizzie’s–assuming that she completed the list in the intended order, of course.

“We still haven’t yet heard from Jeremiah and Isiah. Maybe they found something at or on the way to Lizzie’s house,” Ada suggested. Tommy wiped a hand down his face. 

Lizzie; the other possibility for who could have sold Lucy out. 

Lizzie; who had more than enough motive at the moment to want to have Lucy gone for good. 

Lizzie; who Lucy had been heading over to see after completing all of her errands. 

Lizzie; who had insisted on buying a home near the outskirts of their territory, despite the risks. 

Lizzie; who had refused the guards he’d tried to insist on having posted at her house for security. 

Lizzie; who could have seen her chance, and decided to place a little call to Luca Changretta when Lucy arrived at her house.   

His fingers curled into fists at his sides. She would not do that, would she? Surely her jealousy was not that unchecked. Was she really so desperate to have him all to herself, to force him into her arms, that she would have the person she knew that he loved murdered? 

A chill wracked through him at the realization that he did not know for sure what the answer to that was. 

“I need to think,” he announced, and went into his office without another word before anyone could say anything more. He slammed the door shut hard behind him, pulling down the shade so that he would not have to see the family’s worried expressions peering in at him. From the other side of the door, he could hear the hum of Ada’s voice as she began to lay out new instructions to everyone.  

Going to his desk, he collapsed into his chair with his head in his hands.

Lucy had disappeared sometime around when she’d gone over to Lizzie’s. That, along with Lizzie’s inconsistent attitude and behavior towards her, was suspicious enough. Add on the recent circumstances that had likely done little more than to further compound Lizzie’s resentment of her, and…

God, why had he let her go over there alone? That he didn’t trust Lizzie to not be unkind to Lucy should have been reason enough for him to insist on coming with her to the house. 

He squeezed his eyes shut as if he were in physical pain. If she had sold Lucy out, Lizzie had to know that they’d trace the betrayal back to her, didn’t she? Or did she think that the baby inside of her would exempt her from any sort of ramifications he may decide to bring down on her for such an act?

A pained sound left his throat. That he was having a child with Lizzie was bad enough. That his baby was being carried by the woman who very possibly orchestrated the capture or death of his lover made him half tempted to put his revolver in his mouth.

Fingers running through his hair, he let out a deep sigh, finally raising his face so that he could fumble into his pocket for his cigarette case, pulling one out and lighting it. 

Settled on his desk, in a delicately ornate golden frame, Lucy’s face stared back at him from a somewhat grainy, black and white photograph, taken sometime in 1919.

Her curly hair was lightly tousled where it fell to brush against her chin. The angle of the image highlighted the shape of one of her cheekbones, her large eyes focused on the camera. Staring at him knowingly. Swallowing hard, Tommy picked up the photograph, running his hand delicately along the glass that protected the fragile paper inside. 

Was this morning the last time he would ever see her? The last time he’d get to hold her in his arms; to feel the soft press of her lips against his? Hear the soft lilt of her voice soothing in his ears?

A breath, shuddering and dangerously close to tears, blew past his lips along with a puff of smoke from his cigarette. 

He did not think that she was dead. Not yet, at least. It seemed unlikely that Luca would pass up the opportunity to torment him with it if he had already killed her. 

Which meant that she was somewhere, held captive and likely in pain. Tommy’s eyes squeezed shut, brow knitting as behind his eyelids danced all sorts of horrible, nightmarish images of what Luca could be doing to her.  

I’m coming, sweetheart, he promised, opening his eyes and staring into her gaze from the photograph still clutched in his hands. I’m coming as fast as I can.

His mind drifted back to Lizzie, fingers tightening around his cigarette, jaw clenching as a rush of rage began to burn within him, threatening as much danger and destruction as a wildfire. With any luck, Isiah and Jeremiah would find her at her home and bring her back here. 

Future mother to his child or not, she was going to have a whole hell of a lot of explaining to do. 

∗ ∗ ∗

“Are you sure that you don’t want to go to the hospital?” Isiah asked, remaining in step beside Lizzie with a nervous expression across his young face. “We can relay everything that you’ve told us to Tommy…”

She shook her head. “I want to talk to him directly.” Her voice was strained and hoarse, but Jeremiah had determined after having a look at her throat that she was just bruised up and would recover fine with a cool compress and some warm tea with honey. He didn’t seem all too worried about her head either, and Lizzie trusted him to give her an honest assessment.  

She’d ran into them on her way from her house. Apparently Tommy had already figured out that Lucy was missing and was sending just about every man they had all across the city in search of her. Jeremiah had informed her that Tommy had tried calling her, but she hadn’t picked up.

“Phone got smashed to pieces,” she’d explained, after telling them the rest of the story while they headed towards the betting shop. Having an escort with her put Lizzie much more at ease, no longer having to keep her hand settled on the gun in her handbag or her head on swivel for any lurking Italians. 

“Right, Liz, we’re gonna go over and get some boys from Charlie’s yard to check out the area around your house and see if we can track down this gardener of yours, alright?” Isiah informed her once they’d walked her to the door of the betting shop.

She nodded. “Alright.” Her eyes lingered on the two men as they started to wander down the road. A bubble of nervousness grew in her chest when she turned her gaze back to the door, eyes focusing on the worn wood. 

Would Tommy know that she’d considered not saying anything? Would he sense that for a moment–just a teeny, tiny second, really–she’d thought about leaving Lucy to die?

Gulping, she settled her hand on the doorknob. The hinges squeaked a little as she pushed it open and stepped inside.  

The shop was empty, save for Ada and Polly, seated at one of the long tables, cups of tea in front of them, a phone perched in the middle of the wooden table. Their heads were huddled close together, speaking in hushed voices that Lizzie couldn’t make out. 

Clearing her throat, tugging anxiously at her coat and scarf, Lizzie closed the door behind her and stepped deeper into the shop. 

“Polly,” she approached the table, and both women looked up at her. “They took Lucy. They broke into my house and attacked us. They smashed up my phone so I couldn’t call you. Do you know where Tommy–”

The door to his office blasted outwards. 

“WHAT DID YOU DO!?” Tommy roared, hurtling towards her, grabbing her hard by the arms. Lizzie recoiled, eyes widening. He gave her a light shake. “What did you fucking do, Lizzie!? Where is she!?”

“Tommy–!? What…?”

“Did you fucking sell her out!? Did you give her to the fucking Changrettas?”

She was only vaguely aware of Ada and Polly jumping from their seats, shouting at Tommy and trying to pry them apart. 

“No! Of course not, Tommy! I came here to tell you–”

“Did you think that getting rid of her would make me want to be with you? Is that it? Huh?”

“No!” Yes, her mind corrected. But only for a second. Just for a second. Surely you can’t blame me for that. She wrenched her arms out of his grip, taking a step back. His words, spat at her venomously and boiling with rage, hurt worse than a slap to the face would have. But she forced herself to stand up straight and ignore it. He was scared and upset, that was all. By his view, Lucy had come to her home, and then vanished into thin air. And given her recent attitude towards her, Lizzie supposed that it wasn’t entirely out of bounds to be suspicious about that. 

But, God! Had she not proven her loyalty? Over and over again, had she not made it clear that she was devoted to him? How many times had she been there for him–him and Lucy, even if they all knew that she was only there for him–whenever he called? Every time, without fail, she came running like a dog to his side, eager for the brief affection he’d offer before prancing off with his precious little Lucy while she got left watching from the sidelines…

Even with his fucking baby in her belly, he was still putting Lucy before her. You can bet that if Lucy were the one pregnant, he wouldn’t have shipped her off to a house tucked far away; out of sight, out of mind. He wouldn’t have barely spoken to her for days upon days, or neglected to visit. And he certainly wouldn’t have grabbed her like that and screamed in her face, no matter how angry he might’ve been. 

Hate, so sharp and hot that she felt it cause her cheeks to flush, roiled within her. Towards him. Towards his darling little redhaired bitch who’d come sweeping in and snatched him up without even fucking trying. Lizzie wanted to stamp her foot and fucking scream. She was here first, goddamnit! She was in his life well before Lucy was. She was going to give him a child, not that barren cunt who had stolen the man Lizzie was supposed to be with and then played the victim when Lizzie didn’t want to be her fucking friend. 

It was all so fucking unfair. She had always been there for Tommy too. And yet Lucy was the only one who was rewarded for her loyalty, while all Lizzie got was his cock every once in a while along with a wad of bills chucked her way. Meanwhile he got down on his knees and worshiped the very ground Lucy walked on, his heart cut out and handed to her on a silver fucking platter.  

She slammed her eyes shut and took a long, slow breath. It was a battle, but she somehow managed to keep a lid on her emotions, stuffing the hate down far away. He was upset. He was emotional. Of course he was; a woman who he cared for had just been kidnapped by someone who could only intend horrific things for her. 

Despite everything, I do not want Lucy dead, she reminded herself. I will do the right thing, because if I don’t, Tommy will never forgive me, and any chance for me, Tommy, and our baby to have a life together will be gone forever.

Selfish? Maybe. But that hope was all she had to cling to, anymore. 

 “Tommy, no, I would never hurt Lucy, I don’t know why you would think that–”

He sneered, clearly not believing her. “You want me to draw you up a fucking list–”

“Right, that’s enough! You come with me right now!” Ada snapped, seizing Tommy by the arm and half dragging him back into his office. His blue eyes, gleaming as if they saw right through her, down to her very soul, glinted knowingly. Lizzie shuddered, arms wrapping around herself defensively at the paranoid thought that he may very well have been able to read her mind, and therefore knew exactly what her real intentions that she’d just been musing to herself were.

“Are you alright?” Polly asked, taking her gently by the shoulders. “Here, come sit down,” she guided Lizzie to the kitchen and into one of the many uncomfortable wooden chairs placed around the table. “I’m sorry,” she kept her voice soft. “He…” she glanced over her shoulder towards the office. There was the muffled sound of voices, raised in agitation, from the other side of Tommy’s closed office door. “He’s been unraveling since she went missing.”

“I can imagine,” Lizzie said, voice cracking a little, the hoarseness growing worse thanks to her yelling at Tommy. 

“What happened to you?”

With a wince, Lizzie slowly unwound the scarf from around her neck, revealing the blossoming hand-shaped patches of purple on her throat. Polly’s eyes widened, hand reaching out to run gently along the tender skin.

“Who…?”

“Luca Changretta,” she explained simply. Polly’s expression grew alarmed.

“We should get you to a doctor.”

Lizzie shook her head. “Jeremiah already looked me over. He said that the bruising would heal with a cool compress, tea, and time. He wasn’t worried about the bump on my head, either.”

“You hit your head?”

“Mhm. Luca slammed it against a wall,” she obediently turned her head so Polly could examine it.

“You really should go see a doctor, then…”

Again, she gave a shake of her head. “The only thing I’m worried about is this,” she rubbed a hand across her still flat stomach. “I was unconscious for a few hours, I think, and when I woke up I was on my side, but I’m not sure…”

Polly reached out, resting both hands on her stomach, feeling around a little. “Baby is fine,” she announced after a moment, leaning back. 

Relief coursed through her. “Are you sure?”

Polly gave her a small, knowing smile. “Yes, love, I’m sure.” She gave her a pat on the arm. “I’ll get you some tea.”

“I really do need to talk to Tommy. I have information that might be helpful in finding her–”

“Give Ada some time to get him to calm down, first. If you go in there now he might blow his top again,” Polly began banging around with the kettle. “Don’t take it personally, by the way.” Her expression was grave. “That whole explosion wasn’t really about you. He knows you didn’t do anything. It’s just like what happened with Charlie. He’s scared and lashing out at everyone unfortunate enough to be near him.”

“Mhm.” Lizzie mumbled, and stared down at the worn wood of the table, resting her head miserably on her palm. Polly came to sit down beside her, placing a comforting hand on her arm. 

“I don’t like her, sometimes,” Lizzie said, thankful that it was Polly with her. Polly, who probably understood better than most how Lizzie felt about the redhead. “But that doesn’t mean that I want her dead,” she did not know if she was trying to convince Polly, or herself.

Polly gave her arm a squeeze. “I know, dear,” her eyes strayed to the window. It had grown fully dark outside, the only light coming from the flicking bulbs of the streetlamps. “God, do I know.”  

∗ ∗ ∗

“What the fuck was that!?” Ada demanded of him in a harsh hiss, slamming the door to the office behind them. 

“I don’t trust fucking either of them,” Tommy gestured to the door. “Not when it comes to Lucy.”

Ada stared at him, mouth agape, then shook her head. “You’re upset–”

“They have both hated her from the moment she stepped into our lives, Ada.”

“Lucy and Lizzie are friends.”

“No,” his head jerked from side to side as he shook it, footsteps thundering against the floorboards as he paced about the room. “Lucy tries to be Lizzie’s friend,” he corrected. “Lizzie just jerks her around and uses her to try to get close to me.” His breathing was coming in harsh, sharp bursts, chest flexing with each one, and his hands were shaking, desperately in need of a cigarette or the grip of a revolver to curl around. 

“Tommy, you’re becoming paranoid.”

The raggedness of his breathing was becoming worse and he could hear his heart pumping frantically in his ears. His head felt as though it were full of a thousand, angry bees, swarming and buzzing and stinging at will.   

One by one, in quick succession, images blurred past his eyes. They were taking too long. They were taking too long, and now–

Lucy, screaming while Luca drove a knife into her flesh.

Greta, chest heaving with her final breaths, the blood she’d coughed up staining her lips.

Lucy, sobbing for him as they ripped out her fingernails, one by one.

Grace, crumpling to the floor in his arms as the bullet ripped through her chest. 

Lucy, hysterical, wailing in pain as they gouged out her eyes. 

Charlie, one second fussing in his arms, the next snatched away by a seemingly nondescript maid, ushered away into a car to a pedophilic priest before he could do anything to save him. 

Lucy, expression hopeless while tears streamed silently down her cheeks, as Luca let his men rape her. 

John, laid out on a cold slab, his body riddled with bloody bullet holes. 

Lucy, eyeless, body drenched in her own blood, hacked and bruised until she was nearly unrecognizable, curled on the ground, whimpering in terror as Luca raised an ax over his head, and sliced her head off cleanly. A gift to be sent to Tommy’s doorstep. 

“Tommy? Tommy!?” Ada was gripping him tightly by the shoulders, giving him a small shake to try to rouse him back to himself. He did not remember collapsing back into his chair with his head in his hands, wheezing for breath because his chest felt too tight and his heart was pounding against his ribs. It was wholly possible that Ada had to guide him over to it. He honestly had no way of knowing. “Tommy, breathe,” she ordered, kneeling down beside him with her hands gripping the leather material of each armrest, staring up anxiously into his face. “Breathe. It’s alright.”

No, it’s not. If we don’t find her in time, nothing may ever be alright again.

“Ada,” he wheezed out, and immediately cringed at how small and broken his voice suddenly sounded. Like a frightened child. He could plainly hear the tears that he was struggling to fight back wobbling within his voice, threatening to spill forth at any moment. The mere suggestion of that only served to make the panic worse. Not only was everything around him spiraling out of control, but so was his very being, rebelling against the carefully maintained authority that he always exerted over it. 

“I’m right here,” Ada tried to soothe, brushing some of his hair back. “What do you need?”   

Lucy. Lucy could always calm him down on the rare occasion this happened. Usually after a nightmare. He wanted Lucy. 

The first sob managed to sneak its way past his lips, and he immediately raised a hand to cover his face, ashamed at allowing her to see him like this. Not even after Grace had died did he let any of the family see him cry. Except for Lucy. 

“Oh, Tommy…” Ada wrapped her arms around him, pulling his face to rest against the soft material of her blouse where it covered her shoulder. “We’ll find her, I promise. She’s strong, Tommy. She’ll be okay.”

He didn’t believe her. God, did he wish that he could, but he didn’t.

Even if they did manage to find Lucy and bring her home, she may never be okay again. 

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[padfootdaredmetoo]

Can you do a part two of Tommy and the girl he adopt from the orphanage I gotta see more of her relationship with Noah Solomon’s. And I beg an plead can you do a scene where the whole family goes to the fair and Noah’s there with Alfie. She’s riding on the Ferris wheel with like a friend or something she might be in a fight lol it’s Noah an please I beg you use the scene from the note book where Noah jumps up and hangs from the beg her to go forgive him. But she cheekily undoes his pants like Allie did and her whole family and alfie are watching it unfold !! Please

Dear Anon,

I wanted this so badly that I let this request jump the que. I've never seen the notebook and I had a different slightly more ridiculous scenario that popped into my head hopefully this is satisfactory!

Warnings: Angry dads, peaky typical violence, kissing, suggested sexual content, Aunt Polly loves you enough to stay up all night.

Part 1

There were a lot of things your parents did right and knowing how to motivate you to do well was one of them. 

The fair was in town that weekend and if you got top marks on your finals, they would take you, and if you got okay marks Esme and John said they would take you behind their back. But you wanted to see your dad at the fair.

Lizzie always looked out of place because of how beautiful she looked. While Tommy always looked out of place because he looked like he was coming from a funeral or causing one. The thought of him taking you to the fair brought you a whole mix of feelings. Part of you thought it was funny, the other remembered how badly you’d wanted your dad to take you when you were little. 

When Noah called to let you know that he and his family were also planning on going you refused to acknowledge the looming possibility that it could go horrifically wrong. He’d called to ask if it would be better that they go on a different day, but you assured him that was ridiculous. In your eyes, they were business friends. But still friends, no reason to give each other a hard time or cause a scene. 

“Don’t worry about it Noah, I’m sure they will manage” You fought to get the words out in a reasonable tone. “If any problems come up, I’ll have us leave right away.” 

“Don’t worry about it love, If things kick up on our end we can leave. I know how much you wanted to go.” His voice was like honey, and you just wanted to drown in it forever. God and he cared so much.

“That’s really sweet of you. I- I think it will be fine.” You said with a smile you hoped he could hear. 

“I’ll call you before bed” There was a loud commotion behind him and you assumed he must be calling you from his dad’s work. 

“And I’ll answer.” You responded back. Since you were going steady he’d call you every night before bed. Sometimes to chat, other times just to tell you he hoped you slept well. The line went dead and you let out a triumphant squeal. 

Your dad flung open the study door scanning the room. Looking around the room and finding nothing out of place or alarming, his face fell and he let out a sigh. 

“What's he done this time eh? Bloody boy -” He continued to grumble but you cut him off with a big hug. Normally you kept your screams of excitement and any loud noises to an absolute minimum because you hated how it set him off. War flashed in his eyes every time, you never knew what to do so you just hugged him and hope it helped. 

“Nothing, nothing. Just excited to go to the fair.” 

“Nothing to do with the Solomons also going to the fair then?” He responded easily holding you back. Your eyes went wide and you pulled away enough to look up at him. “That’s right us dad’s talk you know.” You froze up even more. Did Noah talk about you? Did Alfie? 

“What do you talk about?” He looked at you for a long second holding you in suspense. 

“Business and now thanks to you coordinated trips to the fair.” He sighed. 

“Wait. Wait. Wait. He coordinate it? Like he, you know, he tried to get us all there at the same time?” 

“According to Alfie, he won’t shut up about it. Wants us all to get along or something started talking about family trips out to the beach house, proposing after graduation, moving you off to London,” He watched your face twist up in horror before tickling you. 

“DAD!” You shouted pushing his hands off you. He moved past you to put his briefcase on his desk. 

“Caught your mother listening in on the phone with Esme in the kitchen.” He smiled at you and it was enough that you stopped bothering him even though you wanted to. “Not my fault, your mother knows no boundaries, trust me.” 

“I’ll have to sort that out later.” You said sternly. You already knew that they listened in that’s why you had come up with codded phrases and words. 

“Can we go still go then?” You asked him hesitantly.

“I’m not going to cause a gang fight at a family fair,” He said giving you a look that made you feel bad for implying such things. “ I know how to behave myself, it's Alfie we need to watch out for.” 

You made a mental note to ask John what the history was between the two men next time he was drunk. 

“So that’s a yes?” You asked hopefully. 

“It’s not a no.” He answered back and you did a happy dance. “Now go bother your mother for invading your privacy, I have a lot to do” 

You ran out of his study and went right into the kitchen, opening the door suddenly, startling the women on the other side. It wasn't even dinner yet and you could see that their faces were already quite rosy. You stared at them for a moment like you felt Tommy would, and they sat there looking suspicious. 

“Noah’s going to be at the fair, with his family.” They both nodded and hummed, you watched Esme look out the window and Lizzie focus her attention on the napkin in front of her. “But I’m sure you already knew that” 

You laughed as they both started blaming each other and rambling excuses. Normally it would irritate you but nothing could dampen your mood today. 

“So naturally I’ll need help figuring out what to wear,” You said letting them off the hook. You watch the relief and Esme playfully smacked you on the bottom. 

“Don’t do that your Aunty. I’m an old woman now!” She scolded 

“If you're an old woman what does that make me eh?” Lizzie shot back. They continued on bantering and you claimed your usual spot at the table. Polly eventually showed up and joined in. 

Where ever the women were, the men were usually not far behind. No better way to spend a Friday night than drinking with your family till the sun comes up. It was loud and your ribs always hurt afterward from laughing and singing. As things were starting to come to an end you sat on Tommy’s lap and got awarded your one alcoholic drink of the night. 

____

Getting to the fair was surprisingly easy. Everyone was going but they were taking their own cars, except you were picking up Polly. She slid into the back seat looking mighty hungover from the night before despite it being nearly 5 o’clock in the evening. 

She had her sunglasses on and before you said anything to her she held her hand up to silence you. She got settled and put her head on your shoulder tasking you with being a good pillow. 

After weeks of waiting and working hard, you were finally there. You followed your cousins leaving the parents to walk around at their own pace. 

You went along with whatever they wanted to do while you waited for Noah to get there. More than anything you wanted a kiss at the top of the Ferris wheel. Something your mind had cooked up in the many fantasies about how the day was going to go. Something that motivated you when you would start falling asleep on your textbook. 

You were determined to get that kiss at the top. 

Until you bumped into Roger. Why did gangsters think sending all their kids to the same school was a good idea? 

“Ah! There you are! Was hoping I’d bump into you.” He smile at you and your stomach turned into a knot. 

“Hi, Roger.” You said politely. “Was just about to go -” 

“Come with me on the Ferris wheel, Eh?” He cut you off making you even more annoyed. But the line was moving and he looped his arm into yours. The only way out of it would be to cause a big scene. His eyes narrowed and you got dragged towards the little, pink car. Once off this contraption you were going make this boy's life a living hell. Before all the way in you made one more scan of the crowd for your dad somehow thinking he’d be the answer to all of this. 

He started droning on about how you should go on some dates with him, get to know his family, leaving Noah behind. You felt your face get hot with anger, tears threatening to spill over on how such a terrible boy could cause such problems in your life. You should have started beating on him. Done something other than just go along with it. Your mind got worse and worse, as the thing started to move, you immediately regretted your decision of coming at all. 

You started to panic being in a space with this asshole, while also moving away from the ground. Your heart started to hammer and your hands got shaky. 

“You afraid, love?” He challenged, placing his hand on your knee suggestively. You pushed his hand away fighting the urge to start smacking him, it would only rock the car sending you into a fit. You tried desperately to focus on your breathing. After this was over you could run straight to your dad and leave. Go home to where it was safe. When suddenly the car made a horrid swinging motion. 

__________________________________________________

“What do you mean she’s on the Ferris wheel?” Shock washed over Noah as he looked up towards the contraption. All you had talked about was how badly you wished he could come so they could ride the bloody thing. 

“I thought she was up there with you,” Finn said coldly. Noah could tell Finn wasn't thrilled with the situation. He looked up and recognized Rodger’s navy blue cap. After his vile comments about her circulated to Noah he'd told her to stay as far away from him as possible. Realizing what he could be up to with her trapped in there all his sensibility disappeared.

Without thinking, or remembering his fear of heights, he was overcome with anger. 

“That fucking bastard!” The words were out of his mouth as he charged towards the ride. The thought of him putting his hands on you trapped in that stupid pink car was enough to send him over the fence and leaping up into the air. 

__________________________________________________

“Pulling my boy away from his faith. That’s what your little harlot of a daughter is doing.” Alfie said making Tommy’s fists clench. He could tell that Alfie regretted his choice of words without him saying anything so he let it go. 

“Your dodgy son is going to drag her right back to the sewers.” He answered smoothly. And that's exactly what the boy was going to do. Drag her right back into the life he fought to pull the family out of. 

“Should have raised her better.” He quipped back. Lizzie came and took his arm. 

“Lovely girl you got there Mrs. Shelby,” Alfie said politely. “I haven't had the pleasure yet but I’ve heard a lot about her.” 

“Likewise! Noah seems to have made quite the impression on her.” Lizzie smiled politely. Tommy looked around for any type of distraction when he noticed a boy hanging from the Ferris wheel. A commotion of yelling was going on when he noticed that it was his kid in the fucking car. 

“Fuck!” Tommy took off towards the ride not able to do anything other than get to her as soon as possible. Dumb fucking kids were going to send her to her death fucking around like that. 

Once he got close he could hear the shouting match. Of course, it was that stupid boy - 

“What’s your girl done, that’s got my boy dangling 20ft in the air?!” Alfie demanded and it took everything in Tommy to avoid pulling his gun. 

“WHY IS YOUR SON TRYING TO KILL HER EH?” He screamed back. He heard her let out a yelp and their attention refocused on the commotion in the sky. 

“NOAH DON’T ITS NOT WORTH IT.” he hated seeing her in so much distress. He was either going to shoot someone or puke. Or both.

“YES IT FUCKING IS. HE’S DEAD. FUCKING DEAD.” 

“WHO’S DEAD?” Lizzie screamed up causing him to jump. 

“ROGER” The two of them screamed down in unison. 

“YOU KILLED HIM THEN?” Alfie shouted and Tommy wondered how on earth his life decisions put him in such a ridiculous situation. 

“NOT YET” Noah called down. Tommy hated the boy, more than anything. But watching his daughter's hands hold on to the edge and the conviction in his eyes to keep her away from the Roger boy, he had to say it was something he thought only himself capable of at that age. 

The boy climbed into the car causing it to lurch. Tommy instinctively moved forward as if he could somehow catch her. Once the car steadied he didn't need to be there to know what was happening. 

The car moved to the top taking them out of view. 

__________________________________________________

Noah didn't waste any time. His fist mashed against Roger's face what felt like a hundred times. It was quick and the other boy didn't stand a chance. You looked at his hands, red knuckles split open, the way his arms looked with his sleeves rolled up. How he was out of breath, the fact that he did all of that for the worry that a boy might harm you. 

The violence was a part of life in the peaky blinders, and while it was still alarming to you, you knew that if anyone in your family had found out about it later, a story much the same as the one unfolding before you would have been written just the same. 

Same story, but this did something much different to you. You wanted nothing more than to kiss him. Not because you were at the top of a stupid Ferris Wheel, but because he was just so unbelievably hot. 

It was over in seconds and he looked at you causing your heart to stop.

“Fuck” he breathed pushing the hair from his face. “You alright?!” he moved to kneel in front of you, his hands running over you. “Are you hurt? Did he hurt you?” 

You could only sort of hear him as your eyes focused in on his mouth. You grabbed the collar of his shirt and pulled him close to you slotting your lips together.

You felt his hands grip onto you tightly, causing you to moan. You were happy to be out of view from the congregation of angry parents. Suddenly your mind was filled with all the sorts of things you needed from him, things you’d have to find a way to ask for. He broke the kiss as you realized the ride was coming back down. He sat down next to you, and quickly fixed your top and adjusted the pendant on your necklace. You were grateful that his mind was still functioning, you were in shock that people could make each other feel such things. 

Never in your life had you seen people kiss like that, you didn't know that’s what people felt when they looked at each other. Suddenly you wondered how anyone managed to get anything done. Why get out of bed when you could feel like this? 

________________________________________________________________________

“She’s going to be the death of him,” Alfie whispered. 

“If he - fuck - I swear -” Tommy was too upset to form words. 

“I know. He won’t” Alfie answered back and there was an honesty in his eyes that he trusted. 

“I’d destroy you.” Lizzie put her hand on his arm in warning.

“I know.” 

Tommy gave him a curt nod in response. Then they set in on getting the crowd to disperse. 

“RIDE CLOSED BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY BLINDERS” Arthur called out firing his gun in the air. It wasn't what Tommy would have done, drawing even more attention to the messy situation but once that pink car was down he was grateful everyone had fucked off. 

He assessed the situation carefully, his daughter looked fine, flushed, but okay. His arm was around her and that seemed to be where her focus was. The boy had an impressive red hand, hanging off of her shoulder. 

Once the door was open, he knew exactly who this Roger was, and his father was going to - 

“Drive by tomorrow morning at the paper shop?” Alfie said reading his mind. 

“Bit extreme isn't it? Surely we should go for something more personal?” Lizzie said casually. 

“I’ll call you later,” Tommy answered. He didn’t have to speak or move. She spoke to the boy with a look of affection and then ran to his side immediately. A look of apology was written on her face. 

“We’ll deal with this,” Alfie told him, before giving Noah a look of pride. He would thank him for it later. He put his arm around her and the family all moved out in a unit piling into black cars. 

__________________________________________________

Everyone had gone home, except Polly insisted on staying over. In some ways, you were grateful as your parents were in the study arguing. There was a knock at the door and Polly poked her head in. 

“Oh what’s that face for, got a boy who’s willing to fight for ya.” She gave you a soft smile.

“I feel terrible. I don’t know if he will forgive me.” Tears started to pool in your eyes.

“Noah? Hardly your fault -” 

“Dad.” You corrected her. He couldn't even look at you, the car ride home was spent in silence. He’d shut himself into the study as soon as he got home. After Lizzie knew you were alright she went in after him and they’d been shouting since. Polly snorted.

“Don’t ever worry about Thomas. He worries about himself.” Polly said with an edge to her voice you didn’t like. You watched her face as she thought about it for a moment. “He loves us all the best way he knows how. He’s done things - that none of us should have forgiven him for. But we do because we are family. The same kindness will be shown to you.” She lit a cigarette as if it would chase the unwanted feelings away. “Not that you fucked up at all. You chose to not cause a public scene thinking he would probably just try to chat you up. But that’s the problem with these boys. They think the whole world is being handed to them from their fathers, so they can take as they please.” 

You thought about what she was saying, hoping that it didn’t apply to Noah. 

“Can I bring him over for tea? I want someone to meet him.” You wanted some advice or approval. Bringing him to Polly would be the least stressful, but if Lizzie found out she’d be hurt, Esme would also be pissed. You sighed. 

“Think he’s got you beat love.” You followed where her eyes were focused and saw him climbing up over the balcony railing fighting with the flowing green vines. 

“I’ll leave you two alone then.” She winked at you with a smile. “I’ll try to keep an eye out for your dad” She got up and left you making you feel a whole wave of nerves. You went over to the glass door and opened it. 

“Shit did your aunt see me?” 

“Yeah, she knows. Said she’d give us a bit of space.” You hoped that he wasn’t going to hurt you, that conversation with Polly was definitely unfinished, but she wouldn’t have left you with him if she wasn’t sure that it was alright. 

“Will you be in trouble?” He brushed the foliage off of his clothes giving you a look of concern that erased all of your worries. 

“She said she’d keep an eye for dad.” You shrugged and smiled at him. 

You motioned for him to come in and watched as he looked over your room. Its structure was fit for a princess but it was covered in pictures and postcards from family members as they traveled. Scarves and charms hung from the ceiling, most of them made at Polly’s house. A large brown stuffed bear beside your pillow that Tommy had gotten you for your first Christmas together, a charm that may include one of his stolen cufflinks, and one of Lizzie’s earrings hug directly above your bed watching over you. Most people said it looked like a jungle, but Polly assured you it was a temple worth being proud of. 

“It’s a bit much but erm” 

“It’s great.” He smile at you, and all you could think about was throwing yourself at him. What would you do after kissing? What had he done before you? Your stomach twisted unsure of what his expectations were of you. 

“I called, before I could get a word in he told me to fuck off, then hung up the phone. Wanted to make sure you were alright after everything.” You blushed in embarrassment and also resisted the urge to laugh. 

“Sorry-” 

“It’s alright.” He stopped you before you could start apologizing. You pulled him down to sit on the bed and the two of you started talking about what happened, how his dad handled it, and what you were going to do about the parents. 

He was very considerate, trying to take on the bulk of the responsibility, always checking in for what you wanted from the situation. The more you talked the more you leaned into him. The more you settled against his shoulder the heavier your eyes got. 

__________________________________________________

Polly listened outside the door, for safety of course. Boys were unpredictable in the sense that they were very predictable. After watching the boys in this family cause unspeakable damage she was going to be sure that boy treated her right. 

Listening to his offer to come over tomorrow morning to talk to Tommy, and offering her every possibility under the sun to make things easier on her. He even suggested taking the whole family out for dinner. She responded kindly saying she’d ask her mother what was best. Then he started asking what she wanted out of a relationship with him. 

Polly’s heart gave a painful twitch, it was entirely too personal a conversation to be listening to, but curiosity kept her glued to the spot. There was an innocence that was only possible from young love, but they were handling it much better than she ever did. Talking about all sorts of things rather than running into trouble and heartbreak. After it got very quiet - she risked poking her head in to see them both passed out. She wished she could get a photo, just to keep stashed away. 

Shutting the door, she moved down the stairs to see if Thomas was done shouting his heart out. Putting her ear against the door she could just make out what they were saying.

“If anything happens to her it’s my fault. It’s always my fault.” His voice was thick with a heavy sadness she didn't think him capable of expressing. 

“Leaving her there would have been a life worse than death, I’ve walked both paths, this one is a million times better,” Lizze assured him quietly. 

“Promise me I haven't ruined her life?” He was just above begging, but not by much. Her heart went out to that little boy that wasn't too much younger than her. Sweeter than ever, determined to be better than his father. Realizations set in about him that took him in a different light. 

“Promise,” Lizzie said softly. Polly remembered the way they used to talk to each other and wondered how a mouthy teenager accomplished what saints couldn't. 

“And what if he knocks her up then?” An edge of panic in his voice confirmed that he was indeed thawed out to something close to the man he was before all the madness.

“He’d be no better than you,” Lizzie responded sharply, and Polly hoped they wouldn't start at it again.

“I’m sorry.” He choked on the words. “For all of it, for John, Grace, for Ruby. All of it was me, and I -” He was cut off and a whole commotion of passionate sounds erupted. 

They were going to seek peace in each other in the best way they knew how. Polly moved back upstairs and settled into her room, keeping the door open for any problems. Pouring herself a whiskey she wondered if ever there would be a man for her. Picking up her book she hoped it would keep her own loneliness at bay. 

She stayed up making sure to wake the two of them up to say goodbye before Tommy woke up. The boy awkwardly apologising and stumbling over his thank yous. After he was out the balcony her attention set in on the girl.

“Thank you.” She said softly.

“Ah, what are Aunties for eh?” She smiled. “Tea or are we having a lie-in?” 

“Tea,” she said brightly. “We have lots to talk about.” 

Going down to the kitchens, Polly was not surprised to find the contents of Tommy’s office in shambles.

“What happened?!” 

Polly only gave her a look and laughed at the disgusted look her face twisted into. “I think it's best we let them sleep in.” 

______________________________________

More might be planned…. Any Ideas?  

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