#Persimmon is guilty of this

[my-favourite-zhent]

get to know your tav!

I was kindly tagged by @voloslobotomyservice, tysm <3 <3

Here is Isolde(she/her), a human rogue, she's a little different than her incarnation in New Tricks who is a more fully fledged OC

what is your tav’s…

favorite weapon?

daggers all the way~

style of combat?

very cloak and dagger, she likes to creep around for that sneak attack damage, will use a bow if necessary

deepest desire?

to get to know a certain zhent a little better

guilty pleasure?

reading dirty novels, she puts fake textbook covers on them so no one suspects

best-kept secret?

the topic of an archaeological research project she's been working on~

greatest strength?

clever tactician, likes to set up the battlefield to her strengths

fatal flaw?

entirely too empathetic and trusting, gets taken advantage of more than once

favourite scent?

vanilla

favourite spell/cantrip?

misty step (she has a cloak that can cast it)

pet peeve?

mispronunciation of loan words

bad habit?

tends to mouth off without thinking when she's mad

hidden talent?

she can fluently read in a few dead languages

leisure activity?

reading about ancient civilizations, especially Netheril

favourite drink?

plum prosecco but she loves anything sweet (do not let her go to the mermaid!)

comfort food?

grilled persimmon and burrata

favourite person(s)?

Shadowheart: They both have hedonistic tendencies and sharp tongues so get along famously

Gale: Another person to nerd out with over history

favoured display of affection?

physical affection, cuddling among other things

fondest childhood memory?

befriending a wild crow with an injured wing

anything else you’d like to share?

Isolde fics:

(NSFW/MDNI)

Worthwhile Reward (a Tav Isolde)

New Tricks (Rugan centric fic with fully OC Isolde)

No pressure tags @fistfuloftarenths @thisaccountisagainstmywill @littleplasticrat @oldanimefan @captainsigge @commander-krios

[piduai]

sugimoto's story is a circular one. yearning for his past, but afraid of what he has become, he ran away from it as far as he could - up north. he convinced himself that it was for money, that he needed to fulfill a promise to his dead best friend, but in truth he was running away. when he left for war, he was whole. he was clean and unscarred. the big face scar he got on the battlefield is the most obvious signifier of the mark war has left on him, on how it hurt him and changed him. he left the person he used to be somewhere on the frozen hills, lost between his dead best friend's spilled viscera, and when he came back home - hands dirty, conscience guilty - there was nothing waiting for him there.

so he ran away. it's scary and lonely to lose yourself, to have no place in the world. thing is, there is no way for him to go back to what he used to be, because there is no way for him to get rid of the scar on his face, no way to undo his hurt and his guilt. the only thing one can do in this situation is to try to salvage whatever good is left in you, and to learn to live as you are. even if you change, you're still you. if you can't accept yourself, you're doomed.

and that's what he did. he gave up his futile grievances - no amount of dried persimmons could have given him his old life back - and learnt to accept the changes that happened to him. it's not a bad thing to become a new person. it's not a bad thing to move forward.

and when he went back to tie those loose knots and to finally fulfill his promise, ume did recognize him. there's still something of his old self left - his kindness, his goofiness, his considerate and respectful nature, his hot-headedness, his curiosity - and it's not so bad, after all.

and then he goes north again. this time not running away from himself or from his old life, but to turn a new page, because he found a place where he belongs. it's a good story

[descendent-of-the-sixth-heaven]

*Cherry won't let the elder stop now, she wants to know more about her brother*

Elder Vassal: When he was very young, he was sent to the temple for studies, the priests were convinced they could tame this spoiled boy that came from the castle. Poor souls. Within a week, they regretted their optimism.

*Cherry smiles in amusement*

What did he do?

Elder Vassal: What didn’t he do? Persimmons became his weapon of choice, hurled at tutors mid-sermon. He climbed the temple roof to shout “strategic orders” to the pigeons. And he did nothing but cause mischief here and there.

*Cherry starts laughing*

Wait, how did you know?

Elder Vassal: Unfortunately, I was one of his mentors, my lady. No one could discipline him, we could only pray to god that Lord Nobunaga would come to his senses.

*Miyako smiles sadly, feeling guilty. She knew it was her fault that Nobunaga was so mischievous back then. She has put a lot of stress on her son. The old man sensing that Miyako was upset, decided to brighten up the mood*

Elder Vassal: But he wasn't entirely a bad child. Every month, the clan would send him many gifts. The priests didn't agree to it and thought that those gifts would spoil him even more. But he did not horde all the gifts to himself, no, he didn't even keep one. He would throw various competitions, for example, a stone throwing competition at the river with the other kids, and whoever won would be given one of his gifts. He made sure that all the poor kids wouldn't feel left behind. The other kids loved him.

*Nobunaga didn’t react much to that, as if his actions weren’t anything worth mentioning. Kenshin let out a small chuckle before drinking his sake*

[baldursgrave69]

Ty so much @sporeservant for this!!!!

Get to Know Lemon! (they/them), Mephistopheles Tiefling, Wild Magic Sorcerer

What is your Tav’s…

favorite weapon: magic! Lemon loves wielding magic and studying the weave, they take pride in executing spells and cantrips with ease and expertise

style of combat: Lemon prefers to be away from the action and hit hard with spells from afar

most prized possession: Lemon was gifted a spellbook from their father, Mazus, when they left for school. They keep it close at all times.

deepest desire: To become in control of their wild magic

guilty pleasure: Bad romance novels

best-kept secret: Lemon does NOT know how to cook. They avoid helping with dinner at ALL costs because they could burn water

greatest strength: Their loyalty and strong moral compass

fatal flaw: Lemon believes they are more of a burden than an asset to their friends and family 

favorite smell: Old books and leather

favorite spell or cantrip: definitely shatter

pet peeve: People who don’t take magic wielding seriously

bad habit: Not letting others help them when they need it

hidden talent: Lemon secretly loves sleight of hand magic tricks and is really good at them (don’t tell Gale)

leisure activity: reading ALWAYS

favorite drink: Lemon loves a good herbal tea

comfort food: A good old fashioned stew made by their mother

favorite person: Gale (romantic) and their siblings, Lime and Rime

favored display of affection (platonic and/or romantic): Lemon loves to wrap their tail around their loved ones and definitely gives the best hugs

fondest childhood memory: Practicing magic with their dad and sister, and hunting with their mom Persimmon

[the-chosen-fanfiction]

Headcanons | Simon Zee, Philip & Andrew with a sick s/o | Romantic

Simon Zee

Once he finds out that you’ve fallen sick with what is suspected to be food poisoning, he makes it his personal mission for the rest of the week to find out where and how you have contracted it.

Usually, he is very calm when it comes to unexpected situations, so on the surface, it seems that he is doing alright. From the inside, however, he is worried sick about you.

First, he almost accuses Thomas of not properly preparing the food that you’ve had in the days before, but Matthew then remarks that it would make no sense for this to be the cause of your food poisoning, because otherwise, more people would have very likely fallen ill because of it.

Simon finds out he should have just asked you, for you soon reveal that you had accepted a few samples from a merchant at the market you had visited a few days prior, which is a more plausible cause for this mishap.

Upon hearing this, Simon wonders if he should go get Jesus, because He healed Jesse as well and would surely heal you, too, but you stop him before he can turn to leave.

You tell him that some cuddles would make you feel way better already and that you don’t want to bother Jesus with it. Although Simon would rather find the Rabbi instead, he establishes that a few minutes of holding you won’t hurt. If it gives you relief from your illness, it will make him happy, too.

Philip

Philip turns into a doting boyfriend when you don’t show up one morning during breakfast and turn out to be down with a fever. 

He will run back and forth with damp rags to dab against your forehead and will dice up fruits to make sure that you’re eating at least something. Even though you’re not sick to the point that you can’t keep down any food, you struggle with taking it in, but he coaxes you to eat one apple and a few chunks of persimmon.

Once you’re settled, he finds one of his scrolls to keep you company and read you a few passages on prophecy.

The pleasant timbre of his voice calms you down and lulls you into a soft slumber. You aren’t in a position to take in any of the words he is saying, but the sound is enough to make you happy.

Philip reads to you like that for a while until he realises you haven’t responded at all in a bit, and when he looks up, his heart flutters pleasantly to see you peacefully sleeping, tucked into your bedroll snugly.

He finishes the paragraph and puts another blanket over your form before leaving you be, but he remains nearby in case you wake up and require more help from him.

Andrew

Poor Andrew would feel so guilty when you’re sick. What if you had picked it up from him? And what if you were too weak to travel?

He thinks of all the worst case scenarios possible, from worrying that you’re in great pain to worrying that you’re going to die soon.

Simon tries to talk some sense into him, but all Andrew can do is watch your closed tent with a heavy heart, knowing that you were in there feeling miserable. Of course, the women are taking good care of you, but it still hurts to hear the sound of your coughs and sneezes from the other side.

This fisherman would do anything if it meant for you to feel better. He would gladly take the sickness on himself and have it be ten times worse if it only meant for you to be healthy and comfortable. 

Every time one of the women exits the tent, he will be next to them right away and demand a detailed description of how you are doing. Of course, they inform you of his concerns, which warms your heart and makes you wish you would feel better sooner just so you could see Andrew again.

Andrew, bless his heart, even tries to make you soup. It’s not good, but it is clear that he tried his very best. 

Slowly but surely, you start to get back on your feet, even though your cheeks don’t have their usual colour in them. As you are recovering, Andrew makes sure to stay by your side until you’re completely nursed back to health again.

[irenethewoman]

Chapter 11 - Conspiracy

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@vanhelsingsbigtoe

@ell0ra-br3kk3r

He spoke so persuasively that Senator Burgess was left without words. And what about those relatives who surround us like hyenas? Most of them have approached me. They worked with William before, but their expectations were not met. Wealth and Congressman Burgess excels in Tai Chi; he is not willing to relinquish even half of the benefits. Their only option is me—a "soft persimmon." In these special times, we can calculate some matters behind closed doors.

As I gained the upper hand in this prolonged battle, Senators William and Burgess couldn't sit idly. I need to investigate my whereabouts in the last five years. They aim to prove my moral character is corrupt, tarnishing my reputation so I can start on an equal footing with them again. Joke! How can the losers uncover matters personally handled by Thomas Shelby?

I stared coldly at the old man across from me. "Dani, this agreement is advantageous. You can smoothly acquire all my property, including the prince's share left by your father. David Barton smiled, sliding the will toward me. "Agreement? It's a threat, isn't it?" I examined the files on the table. If I had never loved Tommy, accepting all of Old Barton’s fortune and later marrying Adam would be within my realm of acceptance. I might even choose to divorce in the future, provided I had already borne him a healthy son, relinquishing 60% of the Barton family inheritance.

"Do you want your brother to know your whereabouts in the past five years?" The old man still smiled, but his eyes were shrewdly calculating. "Compared to having nothing, isn't this the best outcome?"

The best outcome? I came all the way from Birmingham, leaving my lover, and after over a year here, are you telling me this is the best outcome? He never mentioned his plans and will when I first arrived in London. Instead, he waited for the right moment. First, he escorted me to the altar, showing me the hope within reach. Then, he presented his conditions. If I refuse, I hit rock bottom, losing everything I enjoyed over the past year.

October 15, 1923, 2:21 PM, Mrs. Shelby's 11th Conspiracy - Vanessa's Poplar.

The price is too high, and the conditions proposed aren't overly harsh, so most might succumb. But I'm different. I dared to run away from home at fifteen, had relations with a gang leader as an adult, shot in a brothel, managed illegal horse racing, and even threatened to bribe government officials.

"Give me some time to think about it." Consider how I can "repay" you nicely. Since that day, when I asked for consideration, David Barton has confined me to his room. Despite daily comforts, I lack freedom.

I carefully considered who else knows about my past. Tommy is reliable, so the only person left is someone beyond Tommy's reach—Campbell. As a direct subordinate of Churchill, it's not surprising he knows Old Patton. Attorneys Collins could be an ally if I can get him on my side. But first, I need to get out.

I noticed there are lit menorahs here. Barton House caught fire, burning my hand. These once fair and beautiful hands can no longer hold a pen, let alone sign a document.

"If you don't want people to wonder why Miss Turner disappeared again, you'd better let me go to the ball." Old Barton's expression soured. Even in pain, he couldn't keep me locked in the house.

So what if I set the fire? He has no evidence, and no one will believe him. It's a fantasy—knocking over a candlestick to escape. When no one's around, the pain in my hand intensifies.

"You're really cruel to yourself." Lawyer Collins gazes at my mummified hands with awe. "For freedom." I don't blame him for not disclosing the agreement, indirectly leading to my setting the fire.

Attorney Collins is new to society, unlike us, he doesn't grasp the cruelty of social competition. He feels guilty for the indirect consequences of his actions. I'll use that.

News of Miss Turner's burnt hands spreads to all London balls. People visit me daily. Old Barton can't keep me locked anymore. Even if I'm uninterested in the young men courting me, I entertain them for longer-term plans.

Through them, I learn a secret hidden by Old Barton. My aunt, Mrs. Button, resents me for being declared heir. I sent my uncle's illegitimate son to her, hoping to undermine my legitimacy. My recovered illegitimate cousin causes a stir.

In October 1921, I become Baroness Turner, giving a fifth of my wealth to my sister, who supports my brother William. I hire a private detective to uncover Old Barton's secrets. I prepare for a battle against him.

Pacing on my own city wall, I learn of Old Barton's illness in October 1923. Lying on a couch, Attorney Collins delivers the news. "Really?" I'm not surprised. I pick a grape, recalling the pain and burning. "He wants to see you, Madam Baroness." Old Barton is very ill.

"I really underestimated you. You deserve to be Charles' daughter." His sharp eyes and cunning words don't faze me. "For your mother's sake, let Adam go, and I'll give you half of my fortune."

"Do you think I'm short of money?" I look at him. "Do you think everything I did was because I lived in poverty for five years? On the contrary, I never experienced hardship in Birmingham. Everything I did was revenge."

Even though I lived happily, I can't forget the faces of those who hurt me, the beatings, Sister Mary's tragic death, and Nurse Claire's tears. I long for Tommy's comfort. Old Barton's offer doesn't sway me; I'm not short of money, but I'm short of family. I left my real relatives for money, and I miss Tommy dearly.

[silvershoe]

woke up at 1 but didn't even feel guilty because i allowed myself to stay up late last night because it's one of my most favorite things to do and i won't be able to much this coming school semester. last night watched the rest of blue submarine no. 6 after 2 nice bowls with some mullein mixed in, my rose clay mask drying and the stars were so clear in the sky and the air was so fresh i took my time just breathing, vanilla sandalwood candle the only light in my room, clean sheets and my kitten curled up waiting for me. played animal crossing with asmr in the background until i passed out. today i had a slow morning, got the house to myself on tuesdays and i relish it, sent all the emails i needed to and wrote a poem (unusual), just had annie's bug shaped mac n cheese and then a persimmon, now i will lay in bed take a shower in a bit but i love the sound of rain outside in this room, i never hear it so i will take my time and breathe

[misfithive]

Get to Know Me Tag :)

thank you @bigalockwood for tagging me :))

do you make your bed? neverrrr

what's your favourite number? 14

what is your job? designer

if you could go back to school, would you? no 😭 i have an mfa thats enough

can you parallel park?yes

a job you had that would surprise people? teaching lego robotics to kids

do you think aliens are real? i think there are other life forms idk if they are like aliens how we picture them but maybe

can you drive a manual car? no😭

what's your guilty pleasure? buyin stuffed animals?? idk but i dont feel guilty about that so idk 😭

tattoos? yes 12 i love tattoos

favorite type of music? indie singer songwriter vibes

favorite color? coral or persimmon according to my bestie (reddish orange)

do you like puzzles? mmmm i see eveything as a puzzle thats why i like design. i sometimes do actual puzzles with my mom i like logic or puzzle games on my phone

any phobias? yeah im claustrophobic

favorite childhood sport? swimming i was a competitive swimmer until college

do you talk to yourself? nopeee

what movies do you adore? cinderella story set it up basically any romcom

coffee or tea? both but i need coffee to function

first thing you wanted to be growing up? a doctor lmfao but then i took biology and gave up on that real quick

no pressure tags @glimmeringdreams @k-pepp @grodenprins @sillylittleflower @phaniji @mostlypisces-blog

[cocainejuuljanuary2024]

A few months ago I found a persimmon tree on one of my runs and took as many as could carry and every time I ran on that route I would take a couple and eventually I felt guilty because the tree is literally on someone’s front yard so I knocked on their door one day and asked if I could have a few and an angel woman named Diana basically told me to help myself to them whenever I please because no one in her house likes them and she’d love if someone got to enjoy them and I’ve not paid for a single persimmon since. Good things happen every day btw. I took a few on my run today to make caramelized persimmon puree for these cocktails I’m making for a friend’s birthday dinner this weekend

[awrldalone]

24th October 2023, 8.24pm (notes written all day long)

I feel so stupid re reading what I wrote the other day. I hate my voice, the way I write. My thoughts make me sick. I am so incredibly ridiculous, always complaining, always not at ease, always trying not to be an inept, always feeling guilty - guilty about feeling good, about being sad, about not being good enough, about feeling too good. Always whining.

I am detestable. It’s beyond me how everyone around me does not find me completely abhorrent. If they read this diary they probably would see how awful I am. I’m just good at filtering things out.

I always get what I want and then I end up wanting even more, it never stops.

I arrived home late, after getting off the train. I took the metro 1, the yellow line with the striped chairs, and then I walked home. I wanted to take the metro 2, but it never came. The cold air slapped me in the face when I come out of the stairs, deservedly.

-

Yesterday I went to a serrurier, a locksmith, to pick up a package. His door was broken, the door knob limp.

-

I ate some grapes today. Green grapes, always green grapes to make the novelty of of red strawberry grapes never fade, with their thick skin and sugary taste. Persimmons, left on the counter for so long you can scoop up the bright orange flesh with a spoon. Chestnut, found on the floor, in the street, fallen from the trees after the rain. Autumn is the season of sunsets, of death — but nor for me. Autumn has always been the new beginning spring promises to be. Cable knit sweaters, corduroy, soft leather. For just a few seconds I can feel a life of cottages, mushrooms, my childhood books about fairies living in the woods and witches with a greenhouse.

And then I take a step forward, I keep walking and the illusion only leaves some faint warmth, like the palest of watercolors.

-

Today I put my resentment down and stretched in the middle of the street. It’s heavy, it hurts the shoulders to carry all of these feelings. I also let go of some of my dignity. Just a pebble. I am no Atlantis, no Hercules either after all.

A few weeks ago N. texted me, multiple times, and I did not click on the blue text, I did not read any of the words. He unsent it all, and I tried ignoring it but I can’t.

Yesterday night I could not stop thinking about his texts. Some months ago he contacted me when he was drunk, he sent a lot of slurred voice recordings in a bathroom - but he did not delete them. He wanted me to reply. This time he change his mind, apparently. But I still think about those recordings from time to time, the things he told me about himself, about me, about his boyfriend and the way he treats him. They live together, and N. does not want to anymore, and his boyfriend cheated on him multiple times, and his boyfriend is simply not a good person. Yesterday night I fell asleep thinking about N.’s situation.

And today I texted him during class, between one line of notes and the other.

He replied almost immediately, I did not. I waited for the end of class, and then I waited to get to the metro, and then I waited for my friends to leave at their stops.

And then I clicked on the icon of his face. It’s a blurry selfie, he changes it more often than I do. He said everything is all the same, but that he might be moving to London next year, so things will go better.

-

I got a 15/20 on my dissertation titled «Faut-il une constitution?» and I feel like a fraud. It does not sound like a good grade, it really does not, but compared to the people coming to university with me it’s an amazing mark. They all got from 6 to 9. And I feel like a fraud because before turning it in I asked M. if he could correct my grammar - and I know my professor would have given me a much lower grade had M. not touched my text.

He says it was all me, that he just corrected some verbs and some words, that the ideas are all mine - but still, it does not feel like a victory. I told no one in class.

-c.

[gettatranslations]

Thank You Very Much for Everything！Yumigeta Ako (23.09.19)

Good evening🌙

I'm Yumigeta Ako🛑

I'm sorry for not updating my blog recently…！

As was announced the other day

On the morning of the 15th I had a sore throat and a cough、so I took an antigen test at the hospital and tested positive for Coronavirus。

As a result、I was absent from the 9/16 Harmony Hall Zama performance of Morning Musume。'23 Concert Tour Autumn 「Neverending Shine Show」。

I felt really frustrated、and I was really guilty towards everyone who was looking forward to it and to all of the members and staff-sans who helped me out with rehearsals。

But now I'm nearly fully recovered！

I'm very sorry、for causing you all so much bother。

You all sent me such warm messages、and I read them all…！

I saw your cheers at Zama for 17ki from home！

Lots of people still waved their penlights in 17ki's colours…泣cries

So for all of your sake I kept looking forward and told myself 「For the time being I'll fully focus on recovering」、so thank you very much for giving me the motivation to do so 😭

I caused so many people bother or made them worry、and I couldn't practice or rehearse as normal、so now I want to go back to working hard！

I'll do my best with a positive attitude。

Well then！

Now we'll be returning to business as usual⬇️

My outfit for our Autumn Tour goods‼️

This photoshootー Was pretty much straight after we joinedー

So、I still hadn't really spoken to the members much yet but Fukumura-san and Oda-san spent some time talking with me！

And Fukumura-san took this photo for me❤️ She actually took 2 more photos too…

It's like a three panel manga…笑lol

Fukumura-san kept saying 「Do a pose〜」 but then I got all embarrassed about posing in front of her😂

This outfit is so cute right〜！I like the fluffy cuffs but when you look closely you can see that my earrings are heart shaped which is so cute、and I don't normally wear heart shaped earrings so it felt fresh！

Please be sure to Get、our Autumn Tour goods okay❗️

⋆┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈⋆

Well then it's time for today's 【Gettaa Life】✨

Today I'll talk about something that happened recently…

While I've been infected with Coronavirus my mom has made me lots of foods possibly because she was worried about me or possibly because all I said the whole time is that I was hungry笑lol！

So I tried lots of local dishes♪

First up was seafood🐟

I haven't really eaten much fish in Tokyo、so when I said I wanted to eat some〜

I got given grilled saury that night、and sea bream sashimi the next day 笑lol

They were both delicious😋

And、when I said I wanted to eat fruit

First I got green grapes that night

And she bought purple grapes for me the next day 🍇

I also are apples and pears and persimmons and mushroom stew and roasted sweet potato so I really feel like I've had my fill of autumn✨

And something that surprised me was

「Fig tempura」！

Mama made it for me the other day、and when I first saw it on my plate I was like 「Huh？」 but then when I ate it I was surprised by how it tasted like an unsweet apple！

I bet it would have been good with sugar…

Plus I got to eat hamburg steak for the first time in a while！

Sometimes I cook my own steaks but this was the first time in ages that Mama made one for me！It was delicious！

And I ate ikinari dango！

I love them！The sweet potato filling is delicious❤️‍🔥

I ate way more than that but I'll shut up now🤣

There's still more I want to talk about so I'll do that another day 🌕

I Getted 「Delicious Food」！

Speaking of which I want to ask you all is there anyway to eat saury elegantly…？？

I always find bones in the middle〜❗️

Please let me know if you have any tips…！

That's all！This has been 【Gettaa Life】！

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T/N News and information has not been translated

⋆┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

Yesterday I was channel surfing and I ended up watching 「Smile PreCure！」 which I really loved in kindergarten！

I loved it so much that I've realised I'll always love it no matter how many years pass〜！Just the opening made me emotional with nostalgia✨

Everyone is there something that you used to love that feels nostalgic now〜！？？？

Please let me know in the comments！

This was my first blog post in a while！

I'll keep working hard now while keeping an eye on my health！

Everyone please take care of yourselves tooー！！！！

Well then I'll see you tomorrow！

This has been YumiGettaa Ako！Good night🐇🐇🐇

[benmarsh4]

Best Long Lasting

Everyone seeks out fragrances that last all day when shopping for them. Nobody wants to have to keep reapplying perfume all day long, especially if they are working or out and about. To help you select the ideal aroma that will last all day, we've put together a list of the top 10 long-lasting perfumes and

Tom Ford Black Orchid: 

This oriental smell is renowned for its enduring quality and powerful aroma. Black orchid, lotus, and spices in the heart give it a touch of warmth and depth, while the ylang-ylang and black truffle in the top notes give it a rich and floral sense.

Chanel No. 5

Chanel No. 5 is a renowned floral scent for a reason. Its bergamot and lemon top notes give it a fresh, vibrant sensation, and its jasmine, rose, and ylang-ylang centre notes give it a hint of flowery refinement.

Dior Sauvage 

 For individuals who enjoy a little warmth in their smells, this spicy aroma is ideal. Its bergamot and pepper top notes give it a sharp, zesty vibe, and its sichuan pepper and elemi centre notes give it a hint of warmth.

Opium by Yves Saint Laurent 

Opium by Yves Saint Laurent is the ideal oriental smell for individuals who enjoy a little of mystery in their scents. Mandarin and bergamot give it a bright, zesty sense in the top notes, and jasmine, carnation, and myrrh in the middle notes give it a warm, rich feel.

Thierry Mugler Angel

For people who enjoy a little of sweetness in their smells, Thierry Mugler Angel is the ideal gourmet scent. Its bergamot and hazelnut top notes give it a sweet and nutty vibe, and its caramel, vanilla, and praline core notes give it a hint of decadence.

Giorgio Armani Acqua Di Gio

Giorgio Armani Acqua Di Gio is the ideal smell for individuals who enjoy a delicate and pure scent. Jasmine and rosemary in the core give it a hint of herbal freshness, while bergamot and lemon in the top notes give it a bright, zesty vibe.

Calvin Klein Euphoria 

 For people who enjoy a hint of warmth in their smells, this oriental aroma is ideal. Pomegranate and persimmon give it a sweet, fruity feel in the top notes, and lotus and black orchid in the heart notes give it a touch of depth and sensuality.

Estée Lauder Beautiful 

 For people who enjoy a hint of softness in their smells, this flowery aroma is ideal. Jasmine and lily of the valley in the heart give it a hint of floral refinement, while top notes of rose and mandarin give it a vibrant and zesty vibe.

Lancôme La Vie est Belle 

 For people who enjoy a hint of sweetness in their perfumes, this gourmand fragrance is ideal. Black currant and pear in the top notes give it a sweet, fruity sensation, and iris and jasmine in the heart notes give it a hint of flowery refinement.

Gucci Guilty 

Gucci Guilty is the ideal oriental smell for individuals who enjoy a hint of warmth and sensuality in their fragrances. Lilac and patchouli in the core give it a touch of depth and sensuality, while pink pepper and lemon in the top notes give it a crisp, zesty vibe.

[skyheld]

None of us are in this alone, Ziphrane say, but Merrill sometimes feels like she will always be alone in some way, no matter how together she is. Apart, disconnected — like a branch growing in a different direction than all the others. She feels it less strongly when she's with Ziphrane and Tamlen, but with the others... she keeps being reminded that she's not only her own branch; she was transplanted from a different tree altogether. Like the Sabrae are green apples, but she's a red one. Or an acorn. or a plum.

(Oh — she's hungry, that's why she keeps thinking of fruits. And even after almost a decade she misses the fruit which grew so abundantly in the north: peaches and apricots, melons and persimmons; all of them far more colourful and juice than the hard, sour apples found down here.)

She takes the offered hand and stands, testing her weight on her foot. "Oh, this is much better! I should've paid more attention to Marethari's lessons on healing magic. I try, but it's so much easier with the other things she teaches, history and rituals and other kinds of magic... When she says healing, I always start thinking of other things." She looks up, guilty — and smiles, a sad, warm smile. "Though as long as you're around I don't need it myself. You're much better than I could ever be anyway."

"Thank you", she says, and she doesn't mean for the healing spell, not truly.

Ziphrane knows what the others say about Merrill, and she isn't without her own reservations, but if Marethari trusts her as First, Ziphrane does as well. Besides, it doesn't help Merrill or the Clan to go whispering rumors about who is and isn't suited to be Keeper.

A smile comes to her as Merrill backtracks the idea of standing, the soft glow of healing magic still righting bones and easing the soreness. She needn't say anything, yet; she knows Merrill has more than enough to say for both of them, and a part of her deeply appreciates that. When she senses the First has said her fill, she lets a silence settle between them until the healing is done.

Finally, she pulls away and stands, offering a smile and a hand to her friend. "We all watch over each other, as do the gods, and we all have strengths we bring to the Clan. Not one of us is in this alone, Merrill."

"Come on. We'll find the way back TOGETHER."

[noodledesk]

It Was Like This: You Were Happy

by Jane Hirshfield

It was like this: you were happy, then you were sad, then happy again, then not. It went on. You were innocent or you were guilty. Actions were taken, or not. At times you spoke, at other times you were silent. Mostly, it seems you were silent – what could you say? Now it is almost over. Like a lover, your life bends down and kisses your life. It does this not in forgiveness – between you, there is nothing to forgive – but with the simple nod of a baker at the moment he sees the bread is finished with transformation. Eating, too, is a thing now only for others. It doesn’t matter what they will make of you or your days: they will be wrong, they will miss the wrong woman, miss the wrong man, all the stories they tell will be tales of their own invention. Your story was this: you were happy, then you were sad, you slept, you awakened. Sometimes you ate roasted chestnuts, sometimes persimmons.

[josiebelladonna]

exact same shirt, two years apart.

(full story under the cut; 18+ please)

i weighed 225 in april 2020, up from 205 in december 2019 (no clue how that happened as life for me barely changed when the lockdowns started); i’m at 266 now, and i gained all this weight in 2021 and a little bit this year, believe it or not. i actually lost weight in quarantine, about 13 pounds: wasn’t eating much and things going on in my social life in the summer of quarantine contributed to the losses. tried getting it back over the winter, and more so when alex entered the picture. then my stepdad passed in april 2021 and all of a sudden, there was a lot more food in the house. i gained 25 pounds last summer, going from 221 to 246, followed by another five over the winter and then 15 spread out over the course of this year.

i don’t mind it: if anything, it feels good. healthy, even. my pants fit better (those old ones in the top pic fell down at every chance: they give me the biggest muffin top now 😅), everything is fuller and rounder, and i can eat a lot more—i feel stronger, too. i was always curious about the world beyond 220 pounds—from 2015 when i hit 200, to 2021 when my stepdad passed, i bounced around that range and i was curious about the 230s. now i’m actually looking at 270. 270 pounds, i should be gigantic (and my mom is planning on making gingerbread cookies and sugar cookies pretty soon here, too. gingerbread, with sugar, there’s also a few chocolate chip cookies and some oreos in the cupboard, and persimmon cookies atop the fridge. and she wants to make bread pudding at some point. and there’s apple pie in the fridge. and there’s chocolate on the coffee table before me. when i said “fuck diet culture”, i meant it.)

actually i kinda am gigantic now. i’m big.

just for reference, this was me in december 2019

and this is me just now

my bras are tighter now, too. i had difficulty keeping them on my shoulders in 2019/2020: they keep everything in place now, like they actually fit.

i felt emaciated back then, too. my stepdad, with all his problems, often snuck food when no one was looking, and objected to my mom and me treating ourselves. i couldn’t eat much—and you gotta eat. you gotta nourish yourself. he passed and suddenly, i could eat to my heart’s content, all the healthy food and all the sweet stuff. 

my body widened out, i now have a definite double under my chin, and i have a potbelly now, and it’s kinda sexy, tbh. i feel really healthy: everything is where it should be and i haven’t had a cold or anything since 2019, interestingly enough. i do have a little snoring problem, but that’s about it, though. i’m not in pain and i’m not “aching” for anything. i was thin before the world came crashing down, but i wasn’t having a good time, though. i love to eat. i love sweet, fattening food. i love vegan food. i love meat and pasta and cheese. i love so-called guilty pleasures. i love mexican food, indian food, chinese food, japanese food, vietnamese food, filipino food, french food, german food, italian food, what the baltic countries do this time of year and just gorge until new year’s… i want to “eat across” a city some day. i love to eat, and i love to eat a lot.

i wish i got chubby as a teenager, if i’m honest. my story would have been so much different (just imagine: a fat field hockey player rather than a gaunt anorexic one, i probably would’ve stuck it out much longer). and i wish i could tell 13-year-old me that it’s really not at all bad because your body actually needs to be fed and that your thoughts are lying to you and the whole world is lying to you, actually, and you can feel good by eating whatever the hell you want, and come with me in unpacking diet culture and all the bullshit that makes women (and men) destroy their bodies all for the sake of chasing ideals which are pointless anyway because to change is to live and be human.

i remember being 19 on a camping trip to the oregon coast over thanksgiving 2012 and the backstory is it was a potluck dinner, and i brought a grasshopper pie because i’m actually from 1960. and no one touched it (one of the boys brought a pecan pie and that was more welcomed) and there was no room in the miniature fridge in our yurt. so, i ate this whole pie aside from two pieces missing. solo. on top of two helpings of thanksgiving dinner. three quarters of this creamy mousse pie made with crème de la menthe, marshmallow, and a chocolate crust. and this was well before i got heavy, too, this was back when i still weighed around 150 pounds, and before i dropped down to 139, too. i often think about that pie, too, how it made my then-slim belly swell up and it felt so right, and if i can do it now. i think that was the moment of clarity for me, in hindsight: the moment i thought, “i don’t want to torment myself anymore.” a fleeting thought, but i do remember thinking it.

in fact, i actually have a pretty distinct memory of being five or six years old and wishing i could eat everything and become fat, like i muttered it to myself when no one was paying attention (i looked at my naked body when no one was looking and i wished to be fat when no one was looking, the belly kink makes a lot more sense now, doesn’t it? 😜). i have no clue what happened to it, but my aunt used to have this old black and white photograph of me wearing denim jeans and cowgirl boots, and i had no shirt on, and i was pushing my belly out as far as i could go.

i wasn’t healthy thin, either. got sick a lot and nevermind b.m.i., it’s ableist and eugenicist and serves no one. you want to go with waist to hip ratio (those measurements divided by each other; you want under 0.80 to be considered healthy. and guess what? mine at the moment is 0.74, which is perfect. yes, even with my belly, i still pull off the numbers).

so, i have literally genuinely felt this desire to be a heavyweight my whole life: 5 year old me wanted a fat belly, 13 year old me wanted to look good, and 19 year old me wanted to feel good. it’s part of my truth. it’s just one part of who i am, and i’m finally just comfortable enough to talk about it.

so, as i write this, yes, i don’t feel negative about it (if anything… you want the truth? i don’t feel fat enough. it’s not like i’m lazy or sedentary, anyway: i’m gonna eat a big slice of apple pie with ice cream and whipped cream right now and then all my mom’s cookies, and everyone obsessed with dieting—and covering up—can die mad about it).

the last time i posted pix of myself, a bunch of people unfollowed me and blocked me. their loss, i say, especially when you see these:

(that faith no more shirt has been through so much: of course i love wearing it now)

another kind of interesting thing about gaining all this weight? i feel more tomboyish than ever. i’ll go through the fat-related tags on here sometimes and i’ll look at fat women, and they’re all very feminine. whatever rings true for you, absolutely (the one dress i have, i tried it on and from the side, i looked pregnant with my well-fed belly 🤷🏻‍♀️) but i think it’s interesting that there aren’t a lot of “sportier” girls such as myself. i want to keep wearing shirts and sexy camisoles and skinny jeans and flared jeans that accentuate my legs and my hips.

yeah, man. this is all me.

all 266 pounds 😈🥵😘

[redxblueihateloveyou]

Omg thank you so much for your posts about rinharu!! :"")) I was one of those people who were like "why are rinharu fighting again?? Did kyoani purposely seperate them /again/ just for the sake of drama ?? (And so that they have more oppurtunities to showcase other ships??)" I was really irked at first cuz i thought the first part of TFS is finally going to be a movie about rinharu being a powercouple, but! After reading your posts i realised that haru never really moved on from rin leaving, even in S3 the reason why hiyori's words affected him was because he thought he caused rin to leave (and by extension ikuya, but lbr haru wasn't as frustrated with ikuya nearly as much as he was with rin right) so i'm just here to say.. thank you so much for opening my eyes!!! Now i'm really looking forward to the second part!!

Awww no problem <3 tbh I've always said that free is one of those that has so many nuances left bts that it's sometimes confusing for those who aren't as invested I think. Like there's so many important things that are left out and are in additional materials, that some has no idea what's going on at times. Like back in the days when some interpreted s2 in the opposite way bc of that one thing. My point is that not everyone is even watches stuff like recaps for example (where there are in fact new easter eggs and so many important things like Rin's dad death aftermath etc), and even less read novels and checked side stories and dramas.

For example, in books this Haru's issue about him thinking he's cursed and hurts everyone with his swimming is a huge thing, when Asahi "lost his ability to swim" after seeing Haru's free. But in SD it wasn't adressed at all tbh.

And what Haru feels for Rin is such tornado of emotions, that surprised even me with all the descriptions, bc like it's real bad. Like that part I posted from the chapter when Rin leaves is at least understandable, since he leaves. But the way he reacts to him in general even when he just appears in his sight is always described as if someone tortures him for real lol. And he's always like "pls someone save me, I don't know how to deal with this, bc I've never felt such emotions before".

So basically, like yeah, he's as it is has this thing, when he thinks of himself as some bad omen, so he's very sensitive about it, but since everything Rin-related feels x100000000 for him, its just... well, it hurt for a very long time and sadly was just overlooked by a certain someone, so here we are.

I think we all at first believed that bc Rin's so shocked and in disbelief that Haru could even think that it was his fault in some way:

that maybe they talked about it bts or smth like after the relay. But it seems like Rin either forgot or most likely I think he maybe thought that Haru understood without words? I'm just real sad still that Haru didn't get to hear this speech:

I mean, they made it look by the end of s1 that it was about relay, which partially yeah, but for Rin it was really about Haru. You see what he said.. he said that that 1x02 race with Haru alone.. what made him want to swim again. This whole speech was not only about the fact that Haru wasn't at fault that he quit swimming in the first place, but about the fact that Haru is his lucky charm, that makes everything better. AND WE DIDN'T EVEN GET TO HEAR THAT. So like for Haru it's to this day like "after I messed him up, Rin was saved with the power of friendship and a relay". But he was saved by Haru really. Bc according to s3 info, it was basically just about Haru being on the relay team. I don't try to demean their friendships or anything, but its just what it is.

And as I've said before in one post it's just fascinating that to this day Rin for example thinks that s1 shananigans were just about him and just his problem:

Haru thought it was about them and their problem:

So like my point here is I also up to the end of s2 thought that maybe Rei or Rin told that to him, bc we seemed to move on to another problems, until in Kizuna we were shown that he still dreams about that scene of Rin leaving. s3 Hiyori just exposed the wound really.

But also once again see what he said there, it's not just about that one time he keeps reliving, aka his first come back, its really just about each time Rin was leaving. Like the very first one already was bad, the second was the worst, bc he thought he hurt him and thought that bc of him he quit swimming, others are just painful bc by then it was already another kind of feeling. I mean, I do think that this first Rin's return to Australia thing needs to be cleared up since it's obviously still haunting him. But again it's just part of this. Haru after the Australian trip and "I've always admired you" and "without you I have nothing to aim for" and after TYM goodbye when Rin told him that he doesn't need a surprise party and that just swimming with Haru before leaving is the greastest surprise for him, he knows already about the way Rin feels about swimming with him... I think the reason why everyone is freaking out here is that bc the way it's executed it's just really about him constantly missing him and "why am I always have to longingly watch you leave, while you seem fine." If he was in a free race, but wasn't on a relay team, he'd get the same reaction. Its just all seasons combined that brought us here. We already in 3x01 without Hiyori knew that he wasn't handling Rin being far away again good. So tbh it's logical even without any explanation really. I mean, Rin does indeed leave and come back as he pleases and does what he wants without holding back or sometimes thinking about consequences. There's no lie here.

It's like since the beginning for Rin it was like "I found the gorgeous guy I adore and I want to swim with, I'll transfer schools just to nag him into swimming with me, it's not like he's gonna care if I leave after that." (he literally in the book didn't think it was a big deal)

For Haru it was like "I lived just fine, but this guy stormed into my life, made me want things I didn't think I'd ever want, got me addicted to him and then dropped me like a hot potato".

Rin's just very passionate about life and things he wants, like Haru for example, but he's really also very unobservant and very clueless at times.

But like just bc he doesn't know about Haru's existential crisis and all the pain he's truly in when he's leaving, doesn't change the fact that he at times didn't even treat him as a simple friend (because they can't be just friends I KNOW), but still things like "you could've called" "well sorry, I guess I'm just not good at it" are probably hurtful, considering the fact that you are good at it with everyone else tho, Rin sweetie. Like thanks for avoiding us the most and holding back and visiting us the last each time, we feel real special. Haru is like the opposite, he doesn't call anyone for example, but he can call Rin in the middle of the night if needed, he always does for Rin smth that's completely out of his comfort zone.

It's like some say "Rin didn't know he wanted him to call" or "he didn't know Haru felt guilty". He did know he wanted him to call and he didn't know Haru felt guilty and stopped swimming competitively when he stopped swimming, but then Rei told him and Natsuya in 3x03 reminded him about this too. Its just the fact that he doesn't want to add 1+1 and thinks "well, there's no way I can affect Haru like that right?", "he can't be that upset about Rin Matsuoka, right?". While facts are he IS literally the only one who affects Haru in such huge way. It's like everyone else can just pass him by and it's nothing, but he walks by and it's a whole "asdfghgfdsa why my body is on fire, its just Rin who's just standing there".

And I'm also buffled by this thing that some people really say stuff like "where did this come from, they were perfectly fine" etc, as if they ever had normal "friendship" relationship. I'm like when did they ever behave themselves okay? In 3x03 Rin is dying to call Haru, but can't do it, while he's constantly texting everyone including Nagisa. First thing he says in the airport when he comes back is "I'm home, Haru" to air, but then goes to hang out with Makoto and Sousuke, desperately looking for an excuse to see the one whom he from the beginning, as it was shown wanted to see the most, but in his opinion can’t without a reason. It's only when Makoto tells him that Haru was upset about Albert he quickly rans off out of there bc "hooray, I have an excuse to see my bae”. Like we know from the airport scene that he wanted to see Haru the most. If they're so as people say were doing great, than how do you exlain all of their s2 and s3 behavior for real? It's like as if in TYM Haru didn't lose his shit from some gossip about persimmons. I mean, they never settled anything really. And Haru is constantly scared of Rin leaving again since forever.

So it's complicated, but yes, we're super excited for p2, bc asdfghjhgfds.