#Percy wake up from a Nightmare and Nico appear and hug him to call him down but like

[notfeelingthyaster]

Imagine (based on the incomplete fanfic Son of Underworld) (3/5) (Son of Hades! Percy AU)

Before reading, check the masterpost - and read the warnings before proceeding :)) Good reading!

Percy goes back to Yancy, and things proceed as normal. He has nightmares, he misses his mom, who he only saw for a week. He thinks back on last summer and asks himself if it's worth going back to.

Annabeth tries to go back to her father's family. It doesn't go well, but at least they could keep contact using a landline for the three months she can deal with the monsters in her father's new location. There's a weekend he tries to visit her in San Francisco - but he still isn't perfect and lands in Sacramento.

It takes him an hour and a half to reach her - and it's the best weekend of the year, even if he doesn't meet anyone in her family - she is afraid they'll double the monsters in her house.

And her stepmom is racist. So there's that.

Annabeth makes fun of his Academy Uniform, the blazer and the black gloves, the red tie that he hates, and he calls her Wise Girl - he is two grades over her because of her years as a runaway.

It feels a little like a date. There's pizza, and they hold hands when she takes him to see the Golden Gate. He notices that Annie's eyes look literally like molten silver - every demigod carries a trace of their parent, he finally notices.

He can't come back after that - they were attacked by a Hydra, and killing it was only possible because he managed to use fire - a green, weird fire that he did not know he had - to cauterize the stumps.

Blackjack shadow travels him back to Yancy Academy and he and Annie keep the contact for another two weeks before she has to go back to Camp since San Francisco is becoming too dangerous.

It's his last year of middle school. Next year, he doesn't know if he'll continue in Yancy or go for a scholarship at Phillips Academy, in Massachusetts.

It's far. It's almost four hours from his mother, it's six hours from Camp. But it's the best school on the East Coast.

He does his midterms exams. He is in all high of A+ in Geometry, Algebra II, Economics and Government, Ancient World History, and Health&PE.

U.S. History and Science keep between B- and D+, and he is okay with that.

Language Arts and World Cultures can go die in a hole. He hates reading, writing makes him anxious and the only language he can get a C+ is Latin.

They give him a tutor for English - his GPA is only sustained by math. His grades raise a little: They go from F to E+.

There's a girl being tutored with him. She is Cherokee and a grade below him - her name is Piper.

He hates verbs. He hates To Kill a Mockingbird. He will kill a mockingbird if it stops them asking him to read again.

He cheats in his essays - makes skeletons write them for him. They suspect - it's not his handwriting, it's not the way he writes, it has no errors.

They can't prove it, so he scrapes Language Arts with a D+.

His midterm GPA is amazing. He goes see his mother for Christmas, even though he thinks there's no Christ. Maybe. Who knows? He is not celebrating Jupiternalia anyway.

He barely put his bag down when his four weeks with his Mom go down the drain - Thalia and Annabeth appear in his door. He grabs his backpack, his weapons, and go.

Annabeth looks at his hands with wonder - it's the first time she sees them bare in two years, but he puts his gloves back quickly enough.

Thalia is less skittish around him, and that's good. Better, at least. He notices that her eyes aren't only green - there are waves in them, it's like looking at the sea. It changes with her humor, perhaps? He doesn't know.

They make fun of his uniform - but they are going to Westover Hall, and he will merge better if he looks like a preppy kid from a boarding school.

Percy knows about the Mist this time. He helps Thalia to control it - his heart aches when he thinks of his friends. Its been a year and a half now. He misses them.

The daughter of Zeus asks him who taught him.

"The same person who taught you"

She looks at him appreciatively now, but he knows he'll come short of whoever she is measuring him against.

They see the kids. There's a girl looking nervous and overlooking the gym, and a boy by her side fiddling with his cards. Their hair is black just like his - he wishes for a brother and a sister.

Their skin is not like his - but it doesn't matter that they have a different mom, does it? In the end, it's family. Grover says they're powerful - so Big Three might be a possibility.

They're not children of Poseidon - their skin lacks the tan and the hair lacks the messiness, the windswept look - And Zeus is a lot of things, but a hypocrite isn't one of them, is?

Percy dances with Annabeth, and he feels alive. Then, he is running to save the children.

He doesn't shadow travel them. Shadowtravelling with more than one person is tricky, and he still hasn't mastered not going to Wyoming.

He kills the manticore with his Warhammer, but as it crumbles to dust, Annabeth falls.

The earth trembles at his feet - but it's Thalia's hand in his shoulder that remembers him there's two kids here, and Artemis Hunt is all looking at him with varying degrees of disgust and fear.

It's nothing he is not acquainted with. For being black (and not even a normal shade of black), for his clothes, for not having a father, for having a father and it being Hades. Just now, he was being judged for being a man.

Misandry is news for him. His mother raised him to respect all genders (even when he discovered a few months ago there's more than two), that women deserve the same as men. Annabeth fights alongside him frequently enough. Clarisse wipes the floor with his ass. Katie Gardner doesn't - it doesn't make her weaker, or less deserving of respect.

He knows women have to fight for their place in society much more than he has to. He knows these women are probably traumatized by violent men and unable to fight back.

It still doesn't make it right for them to be bullies. It gives a reason, but not a justification.

And when they take Bianca Di Angelo, who has a little brother and barely has any idea of what she is doing, who was just attacked by a thing that shouldn't exist and is probably still in shock, he wants to scream.

Artemis sees something in Bianca - and he finally looks at the girl's eyes. There's a storm raging in them.

Zeus is a hypocrite, after all.

But it's not his place to say anything, nor to the children, nor against Artemis, so he just leaves the tent and goes ask the only other boy here to teach him Mythomagic.

Nico Di Angelo asks way too many questions and has an infinite source of energy. He is prideful - a trace common of all Zeus children. His eyes aren't stormy like his sisters, there aren't clouds in his irises. They are white, like his probable father's lighting bolt.

Nico asks him why he has green eyes - and why they turned black after the question. He doesn't know the answer.

Apollo appears and says something about flying in the sun car - it's the first time he and Thalia agree on something.

But calls for Blackjack. He is not flying, not even under a god's asking. Apollo understands.

Thalia goes with him. Better through shadows than through air. He doesn't want to leave Nico with the misandry archers - but he has Grover, and Percy would probably land them in Iowa.

The daughter of Poseidon holds his waist while they ride on the hellhound. He focuses the best he can - and, for the first time, he lands exactly where he wants to land: in the woods at Camp.

Thalia helps him get to the Big House under weird looks of the year-rounders. They are there at least three hours before Apollo.

"You're kinda heavy, Corpse Breath. But that was cool."

"Shut it, Kelp Head"

He is anxious to just leave and go back to his mother, but Annabeth is in danger: They need a quest.

He has dreams. He can't fault Annabeth for doing what he would've done without a second of hesitation. It's Luke.

He helps Nico settle at Cabin 11, and avoids the huntresses. Connor hugs him, and Clarisse wipes the floor with him in wrestling - they are his friends now.

Clarisse, Connor, Annabeth, Grover, Charles. Luke, Ethan, Alabaster. The scales are tipping. He doesn't care for masters - he cares who is the defending.

Artemis goes missing, and they finally get a quest. Zoe Nightshade doesn't want a boy in the quest but tough luck: He is the most experienced camper here right now AND the quest goes through a desert, so he is going.

There's some doubt about taking Thalia - she is a daughter of Poseidon and can't do much in the wasteland.

So it's decided: Phoebe, Bianca, Zoe, Perseus, and Grover. No one is happy about it, and Percy knows Thalia is going to follow them.

He introduces himself as Perseus to them. He is stoic and doesn't smile around the girls.

Capture the Flag is horrible. He doesn't leave his post and blocks Zoe with skeletons for enough time that Thalia manages to snag the flag and cross the river.

The huntresses get mad and try to fight the campers - Phoebe tries to hit Nico with the pommel of her sword and a lightning bolt hits her, putting her out of commission.

He is claimed. Bianca isn't, but it doesn't matter: She is not a camper, she is a hunter. Her loyalty is to her half-sister now.

They leave in the morning without Phoebe before anyone wakes up.

Bianca looks at him weirdly because of his soft white and blue sweaters and scrunchies that he started using to take off hair from his face, and the contrast it makes with his dark skin and demeanor.

Newsflash: He doesn't care for a prejudiced daughter of Zeus's opinion.

Zoe doesn't even look at him twice: They have trans girls in the hunt, they're caught up with modern times. Except for the misandry and the exclusion of genderfluid, agender and non-binary people. But sure, caught up.

Nico asks him to protect his sister. He says he is going to try, but he understands death better than some. He says it'll be dangerous, but he'll do his best.

For some reason, Nico doesn't look worried.

Thalia joins them in the Space museum. She came in her Pegasus, Porkpie, and they fight the Nemean Lion together. His hellhound startles the hunters, and Thalia laughs.

They kill the Nemean Lion, and Perseus thinks he finally perfects his power over the earth when he uses a stone spike to pierce the monster through the mouth and barely gets tired.

The duster is not his style, but beggars can't be choosers. Zoe is warming up to them, he thinks, but he doesn't care either way: his objective is Annabeth.

He still hasn't managed to open the ground or to control metal's proprieties, but he controls the earth beneath his feet, shadow travels (very badly controlled, but sure), raises armies of skeletons and money and gems just sprout when he wants them. He has power.

But he isn't completely in control yet, so he doesn't want anyone touching him. And it's been such a long time since anyone except his mother ever been close to any skin below his neck.

Perseus has dreams. He is grateful that Artemis took the sky for Annabeth, so he burns the coat in her name.

Thalia says she has met Apollo, and Perseus is glad at least one god is on their side.

Perseus feels in the air: life. This town is cloying with the smell of life, of forests and waterfalls. He hates it on principle but wishes she could enjoy it.

He kills a spartoi. He doesn't manage to kill more, but now he knows. He wishes he could open the ground and swallow all of them, but even his own skeletons he only manages to turn them into piles of bones.

The boar carries most of them: it's still just a boar and they are five, so both he and Thalia enjoy Blackjack, who now is almost the size of a small rhino.

Perseus meets Ares awake this time. He didn't snitch on him to the gods, but he wishes he did.

Meeting Aphrodite is awful. Percy looks at her, and he sees blonde hair that he can't decide if it's golden or brownish, he looks at her eyes and see the blue and grey fight for dominance in the irises. Her skin flicks, and he sees a scar crossing her eye.

For a moment, her skin turns as black as his - his desire for family.

He hates her more than he hates Ares when she looks at him with a smile and says that his love life will be the most interesting tale she has ever woven.

They cross the junkyard. Bianca dies for a figurine of Zeus, and Perseus wants to scream at the skies for the injustice. He isn't close to Bianca, he won't miss her, but he blames himself.

What if he was good enough at shadow traveling to take all of them away? What if he was able to kill Talos before? If he saw the figurine in her hand, if he was clearer in his warning, if, if, if.

He is a son of Hades, and death follows him. The stench of it grabs at his clothes, but he doesn't cry. Bianca is not the first to die in the name of the gods - she won't be the last one.

Perseus tries and tries to reach for any part of her body - everything is gone.

The Hoover Dam goes exactly the same way - Percy finds the mortal girl cute, but he doesn't ponder on it. It's not the time. He tells her his name is Percy, because why not. He is not seeing her again.

He laughs at the dam joke and feels a little freer. He cares about Zoe. It's difficult not to.

They fly away, and Perseus doesn't like it, but he barely flinches.

They get closer - all of them. Perseus always makes friends in quests, and he is happier for it.

Thalia catches Nereus - and she tells them all about Bessie, the ophiotaurus. Percy thinks that, for a serpent cow, it's pretty cute.

Grover leaves with it back to Camp Half-Blood and away from the temptation that Thalia feels. He knows it - he feels it too, deep inside of him, the urge to kill all of them.

But is Kronos any better?

They meet Annabeth's father. Her stepmom caught a glance at him and sneers like he is covered in blood.

Luke is in Mount Othrys. Percy doesn't join him. He wants to. The drachma is still in his pocket. But Luke needs to pay for what he has done to Annabeth. This is not about the war that looms on the horizon, this is about his best friend.

They fight. Perseus holds the sky, but the thing in his fingertips is not the earth, it's something older and harder, that presses him to his knees. He draws strength from the earth, and he holds on.

They win, but at what cost? Luke falls. He cries and throws the drachma over the cliff - a promise gone with one of his first friends.

Zoe is dead. Three people dead, for a goddess who couldn't care less about them. Perseus wants to go back in time and accept Luke's proposal.

He wants to cry and he doesn't. They go to Olympus. Thalia joins Artemis, and he feels betrayed: just because she is afraid of power, she is going to throw the weight of this prophecy on him?

And on top, she just joined the eternal misandry group, and something in his heart festers. He thought he had one more friend in her, but she was just another pawn.

Annabeth basks in her mother's praise. He wants to vomit - two people are dead, but who cares.

Thalia pleads for the ophiotaurus life, but she doesn't lift a finger when they talk about his death. He hates her. He holds a grudge for his cousin just like his father holds one for his brother.

He just saved their asses for the third time, and they're talking about murdering him because he might not save them a fourth.

The gods. They take and they take and they take and the demigods keep giving.

His father saves him - no one dares to go against Hades' vote to let him live, because he is a hero.

They go back to camp, and Perseus is charged with the task to tell Nico.

"Well, so bring her back"

The boy says it non-chanlantly like he is counting on it. Percy feels guilt creep at his heart like a plague, all the ways he failed to save Bianca. If he just had a better grasp in his powers, if he was just better. And here it was, something else he couldn't do.

"I can't, Nico"

Nico yells at him. He screams that he killed his sister. Percy starts to retract, and they end up in the pavilion. Everyone is there, and they don't lift a finger to help.

Percy is so tired. He hasn't seen his mom since October. He just lost one of his best friends. He was on a mission for a week. He held the sky in his hands. Zoe is dead. Thalia is gone. Death follows him. The guilt claws at him - for not being enough.

Nico shouts and shouts. The final straw is when he says that he shouldn't have trusted a son of Hades, how everyone told him not to. He tells no one wants him here, and before anyone can say anything to contest it, spartoi appear.

People scramble for their weapons, but Percy opens the ground and swallows all of the skeletons. When they're gone, so is Percy.

Turns out? Percy doesn't want to be here anymore either.

Nico is prideful. People in camp scrambled for his attention. A couple of kids of Aphrodite tell him that Perseus wasn't a good company, trying to get in his good graces. This time around, there's no one to sing the praises of Percy Jackson.

Grover takes him aside and explains, a little against him own will, what happened with Bianca. He gives him the figurine.

Nico feels guilty. He is too prideful to admit, but he feels it burning in his heart - so he tries to understand what he just did. Grover tells him about the last two years. The guilt now fights with admiration, and resentment battles with adoration.

Some people steer clear of him for a while. Charles Beckendorf is too kind to isolate him - but Nico sees the sadness in his eyes. Annabeth doesn't talk with him - she just lost three best friends in a swoop. Grover reluctantly tells him more about Percy. Clarisse wipes the floor with him - and he doesn't complain when he wakes up and his makeshift bed in Cabin 1 is crawling with bugs - He is pretty sure Connor hates him.

Katie Gardner doesn't talk to him anymore. Will Solace - who is his best friend - consolates him. He tells Nico he was pretty awful to Percy last summer, and Percy still came back.

Pretty awful doesn't even begin to cover what Nico did. But he nods and settles. It's going to be fine.

Perseus wanders the Underworld. He plays with Cerberus, and it's finally time to go make peace with his father and meet Persephone.

There's the heavy weight of a drachma in his pocket.

[toffrox]

Voices (Part Two)

Summary: In the months preceding Lester & Meg's return to camp, Nico's nightmares begin to worsen. Nico goes to Percy for advice. *Spoilers for Tower of Nero*

Part One | Part Two | Part Three

Read on Ao3

Nico

Nico lay staring at the ceiling of Cabin Thirteen.

The voices were absent today, although the memory of last night's dream still burned in his mind.

Alongside them were echoes of his conversation with Will. They had fought yesterday and they hadn't spoken since.

Nico had skipped dinner. And breakfast.

Perhaps if Jason were here he would have brought Nico some food. (He was awfully hungry).

But Jason was gone.

Nico cursed the tears that stung the corner of his eyes as he remembered again the moment he had felt Jason's…

But no, he shouldn't think about it. Couldn't think about it.

It would drive him crazy, he knew, if he obsessed over it. And he wasn't even sure if it was real… especially with all the other weird things Nico had been seeing and hearing lately.

Part of him knew already that this feeling was different. That it was real. Just like he knew Bob's voice calling out to him was real.

But he didn't want to think about that either. Didn't want to think about how upset he was making Will.

"You can't go down there alone again, Nico. You can't." Will had told him, his eyes sparkling with tears.

Nico had panicked at the idea of Will coming with him to Tartarus. But that had only made Will more upset.

"You really don't think I can do this, huh?" 

Nico groaned and rolled onto his side, curling into a ball in the corner of his bed.

All he wanted was to protect Will. For Will to be safe. To keep him and their relationship seperate from all the horrible things that already haunted everything else in his life.

He squeezed his eyes shut in an attempt to stop the tears that still threatened to overtake him.

Instead the darkness just reminded him of his dream.

-

He dreamed he was at camp.

Except his dream self didn't know it was camp. He was lost.

He stumbled around the green, knocking on cabin doors. Each time he did the door would swing open to reveal groups of monsters instead of campers.

The Apollo cabin had been empty.

Someone was calling Nico's name. Someone Nico knew… or had known a long time ago.

Nico ran along the pier at the lake and around the edges of the woods, but he couldn't find his way… he wasn't even sure what he was looking for. Wherever he went, the voice calling out to him became more distant.

He had walked up to the Big House and wandered around the big, empty rooms, but no one was home. He'd climbed up to the attic thinking maybe he'd find something there. Instead he found himself face to face with Akhlys, who wept. She stared at him, like she stared at him every time he dreamed about her.

He knew what she was going to say before she said it, even though it had been months since she had spoken to him in his dreams. After he and Will had started dating she had started appearing in his dreams less frequently. When she did, she rarely spoke. She rarely even cried lately, though she was crying now. Crying and smiling.

"Child of Hades, what more could I do to you?"

Nico wrenched his eyes open again and sat up straight.

He blinked the remnants of tears out of his eyes, his heart still racing from the memory of the dream.

Then he stood up and reached for his shoes and bomber jacket.

He needed to talk to someone about this.

-

Nico appeared on the doorstep and pressed the buzzer before he could change his mind.

It wasn't the first time he'd stood outside Percy Jackson's place, his stomach churning with nervousness. But this time he wasn't nervous about the boy inside the apartment. All Nico could think about was his fight with Will and Will in Tartarus and whether he would be able to fix it.

"Hello?" came a woman's voice from the apartment speaker.

Nico had learned that it was better to shadow travel to the front door when visiting the Jacksons'. Apparently shadow travelling onto the window sill or directly into the living room was a little inappropriate.

"Hey Mrs Jackson. It's Nico."

Nico bounced on his heels impatiently.

"Nico! What a pleasant surprise! Come right up-" Mrs Jackson's voice was cut off by static and the door buzzed open.

When Nico arrived on the Jackson's floor he saw the door at the end of the corridor click open and Percy appeared in the doorway, grinning.

"Hey, man!" He said, stepping back to let Nico inside and closing the door behind him. "What brings you to the city?"

Nico swept his eyes around the apartment. The TV was blaring out from the living room. In the kitchen Nico could hear Estelle babbling away and Mrs Jackson cooing at her.

"I was hoping we could… talk." Nico said, uneasy.

Percy eyed him with concern.

"Of course." He nodded. "Let's go up to my room. I'll ask Mom if you can stay for lunch." As he spoke, he led Nico back into the kitchen.

"Oh, you don't need to- Hi Mrs Jackson." Nico cut himself off to raise his hand in greeting. Mrs Jackson beamed at him and stood up to wrap him in a hug. Behind her Percy bent over baby Estelle in her crib, wiggling his fingers at her.

"How have you been, dear?" Mrs Jackson asked, "Will you be joining us for lunch?"

"I-"

"Yes. We'll cook." Percy said before Nico could answer. "But we have to talk about camp stuff first. We'll be in my room if you need us."

And before Nico could argue Percy was rushing up the stairs to his bedroom, leaving Nico to shoot Mrs Jackson an apologetic glance before following him.

-

"So what's up?"

Percy was sitting cross legged on his bed, looking entirely unconcerned about the mess that was his room.

Nico leaned hesitantly against Percy's desk, brushing away piles of notes and worn textbooks. He started to worry that maybe he'd made a mistake coming here… Percy was in the middle of studying for finals. He didn't have time to talk to Nico about this.

Still, it felt too late to back out now.

"I…" Nico fumbled for words, unsure where to begin. "I've been having nightmares… about Tartarus." He said eventually.

Percy's concerned frown deepened at Nico's words.

"What kind of nightmares?"

"I…" Nico paused and took a slow, deep breath. Then he plowed through and told Percy everything: How he'd been having nightmares and flashbacks and waking dreams. How they had been getting worse, and more specific. How he had been hearing things, hearing voices. How one of those voices was Bob the Titan. And most importantly how Nico was convinced that all of these things meant that Nico would have to go back down to Tartarus again. To find Bob. To stop the voices.

Percy's face grew paler the more Nico spoke, until he looked almost as nauseous as Nico felt.

Again, Nico felt a stab of guilt for coming.

What was he thinking? Will was right when he'd said that Percy and Annabeth had enough to worry about as it was. Nico stared at his shoes in shame.

When Percy eventually spoke, his voice was hoarse.

"I'm so sorry, Nico."

Nico guessed that Percy was feeling guilty for having left Bob behind but that just made Nico's stomach flood with remorse all over again. Because that wasn't the real reason Nico had come to talk to Percy about all of this.

"Will wants to come with me." Nico forced himself to say it, though just the thought made his head spin with fear.

Percy was quiet but Nico could somehow tell he was looking at him.

"That's… good, right?" he said.

"No, it's not good!" Nico couldn't help but yell.

It was like all the emotion he'd been holding back this morning came rushing into him at once. He brought his hands up to cover his face and bent over, helpless. Paralysed at the idea of Will, his Will, being trapped down in Tartarus with him, so far away from the sunshine Nico always associated with him, so tangled up in everything Nico hated about his past.

"I can't- He can't-" Nico stammered out the words in a kind of panic, the memory of Will's face flushed with anger from their fight yesterday swimming before his eyes. "And now he's mad at me and I- I can't just… I can't do that do him. I can't let him come."

Nico dropped his hands in defeat and looked up at Percy once more.

Percy's eyes were big with concern and pity.

"I get it." he said softly. "It's ok to be scared."

Perhaps those words would have annoyed Nico once. But the truth was Nico knew Tartarus scared Percy just as badly as it scared him. He met Percy's eyes with determination.

"If I have to go back, I'll go back." said Nico. "But I can't let Will come with me. There's just no way. If something happened to him…" Nico closed his eyes.

"I get it." Percy said again.

"What do I do?" Nico croaked. Percy winced and shook his head.

"I don't know, man… Maybe if-"

"You could come with me instead." Nico blurted it out. He was desperate, pleading. He felt terrible even as he said it but he was willing to do anything, ask anything to avoid the thought of Will in danger.

Panic flashed in Percy's face. He swallowed, looking nauseous again.

"Nico, I can't go down there again." He shook his head, eyes wide and fearful. "I can't. Not even for Bob. I don't think I could…"

"Percy, please…" Nico begged. "It's Will. Can you honestly imagine Will Solace down there?"

Percy's guilty look changed then into something resembling annoyance. He almost rolled his eyes.

"Nico. Will is a badass. He's been through two wars." said Percy flatly.

"Yes, so he keeps saying." Nico huffed.

"Then why aren't you listening?"

"I am, Percy, but it's not the same you know that."

Nico was desperate again. Percy met his eyes and seemed to regain some kind of confidence in his sternness.

"Nico. Do you think Annabeth would listen for one second if I tried to tell her she wasn't powerful enough to do something?" he said.

"That's not what I'm saying." Nico sighed. "I know Will is powerful. I do. Obviously I think he's amazing."

"Then you have to trust that he'll be able to take care of himself." said Percy.

"How can he when he's always trying to take care of me first?"

"Well maybe you should let him."

Nico threw up his hands and tugged his hair, exasperated.

"I can't just ignore this, Percy!"

"No. Listen to me." Percy's tone turned serious. "I wouldn't have lasted 5 minutes down there without Annabeth. The only reason we've survived anything together these past few years is because we trust that we have each other's backs - no matter what."

"But -"

"Dude… if Will got given a dangerous quest and tried to do it without help, would you let him?" Percy raised his eyebrows at Nico. Nico scowled, angry at being interrupted and frustrated at the truth behind Percy's words.

"I… yeah, of course I would." Nico said, weakly. But he knew that wasn't true. "If that's what he said he wanted… I…" He trailed off, unable to convince himself.

Nico sighed again.

"Ok fine." he snapped. "But this is Tartarus, Percy. It's not the same. You know it's not."

Percy grimaced. "If… if you really do have to go back down there - and I'm still not convinced that this is actually a good idea - then don't you think Will is going to find a way to follow you whether you like it or not?"

Nico shook his head stubbornly.

"If I told Will I didn't want him there, he would listen. He wouldn't follow me." Again, he wasn't sure that that was true. But Will had always supported him before.

"Even if that were true," said Percy, "Do you think he'd be happier stuck back at camp waiting for you?"

Nico chewed his lip.

"Will is not going to be ok if you go down there without him." Percy went on. "He's already worried about you. You have to take care of him too, you know. You barely survived down there last time; things got so bad that being kidnapped by giants ended up being a good thing! You think Will is going to be just going about the infirmary without you not even worrying about it? You might not come back! Don't you realise you won't be able to do this on your own?"

"Of course I know that" Nico was miserable. "Thats why…" Nico's voice went quiet. "That's why I thought maybe if I asked you…"

Percy looked though Nico had just punched him in the stomach. Nico broke his gaze, ashamed.

Percy took a deep, shuddering breath. "Look, maybe I should tell you why exactly I can't go back there."

Nico glanced up to see Percy inspecting his fingernails, conflicted. Nico stared him down, waiting.

"When…" Percy's voice caught and he cleared his throat before pulling himself upright and pushing on. "When Annabeth and I were in Tartarus, we met Akhlys, the goddess of misery."

Nico's blood went cold, remembering his dream from last night.

"We… we fought her." Percy said. "But we were losing. And she… there was this poison. All around me. I realised, since it was made of water, kind of, I could control it."

Percy's eyes glazed over. He looked more frightened than Nico had ever seen him.

"I- I fought back and I almost… I almost killed her. I wanted to. I could feel that she was choking on her tears and the poison…"

Nico stared, wide-eyed.

He knew Percy was powerful; more powerful than anyone. But to kill a goddess…

"I scared Annabeth." Percy admitted, voice hushed. "If she hadn't stopped me…"

"Percy-" Nico began, although he wasn't sure what he intended to say. What could he say, after that? But Percy looked up and gave him a grim smile.

"Jason told me that stopping friends from using their powers in the wrong way is something friends have to do for each other." he said.

Oh Gods. Nico felt his stomach lurch as he realised. I haven't said anything about Jason.

He felt another brief wave of panic and guilt at not thinking of it earlier, but at the same time he couldn't bring himself to say anything when he didn't know for sure if what he'd felt was true.

What if this was like with Leo, and Nico was wrong? He couldn't do that Percy. And especially not now, after everything else Nico had just dumped on him.

"Anyway the reason I'm telling you all this." Percy said. "Is because I've been thinking about that fight a lot and- well, it's just that I don't think I could trust myself to go back to Tartarus and not… I don't think I could stop myself from becoming…"

"I get it." Nico said, echoing Percy's words from before.

And Nico did get it.

Honestly, Nico felt shocked. How many times had he replayed his own encounters with his darkest instincts; his fights and moments of weakness when he doubted whether or not he'd done the right thing or whether he'd gone too far.

He had always thought that as a Son of Hades he was the only demigod who felt conflicted about his own powers in this way. Who felt dangerous. Who questioned whether their powers were good or bad. Who looked at other demigods and saw fear reflected back at him in their eyes.

Nico felt all of a sudden that maybe he wasn't so alone after all.

He shifted on his feet and heard something crinkle under his toes.

He looked down to see a picture of Percy and Annabeth. They were sitting on the beach at Camp Half Blood. Percy had one arm thrown around Annabeth's neck and she was leaning into him, eyes alight with laughter. Percy was looking at her, his face turned to the side, away from the camera. His smile was bright and clear-sighted. A million miles away from the way Percy's face was twisted in confusion and worry right now.

Nico thought of Will, and the way Will smiled at him.

Nico never felt dangerous around Will. Will was never scared of him. Had never been scared of him. Even when Nico felt he was at his worst.

Suddenly Nico realised what Percy was trying to tell him. He understood.

"You're right, Percy."

Percy's head jerked towards him in surprise. He gave Nico a lopsided smile.

Nico pushed away from the desk and stood up properly.

He would have to talk to Will when he got back to camp. Would have to talk to him about what came next and apologise for making him so upset.

But for now, he had to rest and get some food in him.

He returned Percy's smile, determined to make up for having shown up with such bad news and asking him to relive Tartarus again. Percy grinned then. He stood up and made to head back down to the kitchen, motioning for Nico to join.

"Come on," he said. "I think we deserve some lunch."

[toffrox]

Voices (Part Three)

Summary: In the months preceding Lester & Meg's return to camp, Nico's nightmares begin to worsen. After a bad fight, Nico apologises to Will.  *Spoilers for Tower of Nero* 

Part One | Part Two | Part Three

Read on Ao3

Will

Will didn't think he'd ever felt this angry.

After his fight with Nico about going to Tartarus, Will had stormed across the pavilion, crashed into Cabin Seven and thrown himself on his bunk.

The cabin was silent. His siblings must still be out doing afternoon activities. Will wasn't sure whether to feel relieved or upset that they weren't there.

He rolled over onto his back and stared at the neat wooden beams above him. He took deep breaths, trying and failing to calm his racing heartbeat. He clenched and unclenched his fists.

What was going to happen now?

Nico would probably be angry at him, he thought bitterly. He had been angry for weeks now, Will knew, ever since the horrible moment he'd felt Jason's death.

Will supposed he would be continuing on with his solo journey down to Tartarus. He might even head down to the Underworld right now, if he was really upset with Will. Will knew how reckless he got when he was mad.

Will's stomach boiled with anger at the thought. He squeezed his eyes shut and clenched his fists again.

Why did Will do this to himself?

Why did he think that he could help? That he could somehow control every situation?

He turned on his side and curled up, feeling suddenly sick.

Every nightmare Nico had told Will about, every waking flashback. Every time Will had touched Nico's wrist to check how he was healing and instead been taken aback by the shock of dark anguish… Each time resurfaced in Will's memory, paralysing him with fear.

That's what Tartarus had done to Nico. And that's what it was going to do again.

There was nothing Will could do to stop it. He had tried to stop him. He had tried to help. And he had failed.

There had been plenty of times in the past couple of years that Will had felt useless; he was unable to fight; the lousiest singer, the worst shot of all his siblings… but this was the most helpless he had ever felt.

He tried desperately not to cry but his eyes burned all the same.

Nico made him so happy; was the best thing in Will's life.

The thought of losing him (to Tartarus, to this fight) was unbearable.

-

The afternoon seemed to slip away in a haze of repeated thoughts and reluctant tears.

At some point before sunset, Kayla appeared at his side.

"Will?" Her voice came urgent and surprised. "Will, are you alright? What happened?"

Will pulled himself upright, filled with relief at the sight of her worried face. Her gaze flickered over Will's disheveled appearance and tear stained cheeks.

"Gods, Will. Come here." She climbed onto the bed beside him and pulled him into a hug. Will rested his head on her shoulder.

They hadn't been sitting there long when another voice came from the doorway.

"Hey," Austin came into the room, frowning. "What happened? What's wrong?" He hurried to join them, his hand on Will's shoulder.

Will felt his spirits lift in their presence, his fear for Nico momentarily abated by his affection for his siblings.

He felt silly for a moment, getting so upset over a fight with his boyfriend.

But it wasn't just a fight, Will reminded himself. This was more than that.

"I'm just worried about Nico." Will mumbled against Kayla's shoulder. Kayla and Austin exchanged a worried glance.

"What are you worried about?" Kayla asked softly, at the same time as Austin said "What happened to Nico?"

Will took a deep, trembling breath.

"He… I think he's going to go back to Tartarus." said Will. "He says it's for a mission. He's been 'called'."

"What?" Kayla breathed. Austin's eyes widened in horror.

"And I tried to tell him that I'd go with him-"

"What?" Austin said.

"-so that he didn't have to do it alone this time." Will pressed on. "But he told me he didn't want  me." His voice cracked on his last words.

"What do you mean?" Kayla asked, perplexed.

"He said he wouldn't let me!" Will shrugged Kayla off and hugged his knees to his chest. He scowled. "He said that fighting in battles wasn't the same as being in Tartarus and that I didn't know what it was like and that I should stay here in the infirmary while he went down there with someone else like Reyna or Hazel or Percy."

Will shoved himself to his feet at that, his eyebrows knitted together. He was suddenly every bit as angry as he'd been when he'd stormed out of Cabin Thirteen.

"Nico said that?" came Austin's stunned voice from Will's bunk.

"Yes." Will spat.

Will had never thought of himself as a jealous person before. He'd never once felt insecure about Nico's relationship with any of his friends; even Percy. But now he was livid.

How could Nico reject him like that? How could he not stand up for Will when Will asked him if he doubted Will's ability to look after himself?

Will worked so hard to look after Nico. To look after everyone at camp. And it was still not enough.

He paced backwards and forwards in the cabin, seething, his jaw set.

"How can-?" Will's voice broke off, whether from his hurt or his anger, Will wasn't sure. "How can he not want me?"

He sat down heavily on Kayla's bunk. And Kayla and Austin exchanged another worried glance before hurrying to his side once again.

-

Kayla and Austin stayed with him for the evening, Austin running to the dining pavilion to grab them all some food.

They sat on the floor of Cabin Seven together, eating burgers and teasing each other.

It had been a tough year already for all three of them. They were all worried about Apollo and struggling with the lack of communication with their summer friends. Will knew that Kayla and Austin had been worried about Nico lately too. They could all tell something big was coming.

The next morning Will joined them both at breakfast. Nico wasn't there.

Will tried to work in the infirmary but he was jumpy and distracted. Treating the minor wounds of the Ares and Athena campers from morning sparring practice only made him feel useless again.

Eventually Kayla snapped and told him he had to leave before he gave himself a panic attack.

Will returned to Cabin Seven and sat on his bunk, trying desperately not to think about whatever Nico might be doing right now.

-

Nico

Nico returned to camp with his stomach (and backpack) full of Sally Jackson's blue cookies. He shadow travelled directly to infirmary.

Will wasn't there.

"Hey" Nico said to Kayla as he came through the door, somewhat out of breath from rushing. He made his way to the supply cabinet just inside the door, grabbing himself a KitKat alongside a dose of unicorn draught (one of their last doses left over from before they lost contact with New Rome).

Kayla looked up warily from where she was administering burn cream to Harley on one of the beds. "Hi."

"Where's Will?" Nico asked, coming around to lean against the bed next to them.

"Hi, Nico!" Harley piped up with a wide grin.

"Hey, kiddo," Nico reached out to bump his fist, though his eyes were still on Kayla.

Kayla straightened up. She had a shrewd look on her face, as though unsure whether she was mad at him. Nico guessed he deserved that. He grimaced.

"Ok, Harley, you're all patched up." She said, standing back to let him go. He jumped up with a cheerful "seeya!", either unaware or unbothered by the tension between the two older demigods.

Kayla crossed her arms. "Will's not here." she said bluntly. "He wasn't feeling well."

Nico swallowed his mouthful of KitKat.

"Is he ok? I was going to come talk to him." he said.

"That depends. Are you planning on apologising?" Kayla raised an eyebrow, which made Nico wince.

"Yes."

Kayla gave him a twisted smile.

"Good. Then I think he'll be fine." She paused. "Are you ok?" Her gaze seemed to soften now that Will's interests were taken care of. Nico smiled at that.

"Yeah. I'm better." He said.

"Good." She nodded. "Will's in our cabin."

Nico finished his KitKat and retreated shyly, slipping the unicorn draught in his pocket for later.

-

He knocked softly on the door of Cabin Seven and waited for Will's muffled "come in" before letting himself in.

Will was curled up on his bunk with his arms wrapped around his knees. When he saw it was Nico his brow creased into a frown. Nico couldn't tell whether it was from anger or from hurt. Probably both.

"Hi, Sunshine." Nico said quietly. Will's eyes flickered away at the use of the nickname.

Nico approached the bunk hesitantly but Will let him crawl up onto the bed beside him and lean against the wall, sitting side by side, their knees touching.

Will's head was bowed. He blinked rapidly, not daring to look up.

"Are you ok?" Nico asked out of habit, unsure whether or not to reach out and take Will's hand. Will swallowed.

"Not really." He whispered.

Nico inwardly flinched but forced himself to move in closer, pressing his shoulder against Will's. Thankfully, Will didn't pull back.

"I talked to Percy."

Nico watched Will's response carefully. But the anger he expected never came. Will bit his lip.

"What did he say?"

Nico's heart ached at the concern in Will's voice. Because that was Will all over, wasn't it. So kind, even when he was upset. Nico felt the ghost of a smile tug at his lips.

"He said he wouldn't come." said Nico. "But I shouldn't have asked, really."

Nico watched Will's jaw muscles clench and unclench. He cleared his throat and pushed on.

"It wasn't fair of me to ask that of him… and it wasn't fair of me to dismiss you, either."

Will closed his eyes. His lip trembled as his frown deepened. Nico shifted to wrap an arm around him and was relieved when Will leaned into his touch.

"You really hurt me, Nico." he whispered.

"I know." Nico replied softly. "I'm so sorry, Will."

Will turned his face and buried his nose against Nico's chest. Nico let his fingers trace gently up and down Will's arms.

They sat like that for a long time, wrapped up in each other. And Nico felt relieved to sit with him for a while. He felt guilt bubble uncomfortably in his stomach. He'd seen Will upset before, but never like this, and never because of something Nico had done. He closed his eyes and tried to remind himself what he'd realised when he was at Percy's. He pushed away the fear of losing Will and instead focused on how warm Will felt against his chest, how safe and comfortable he felt sitting here, with Will's arms around his waist. He focused on that and nothing else while Will steadied his breath.

"It was so stupid of me to doubt you." Nico said eventually. The memory of Nico's silence from yesterday rested uncomfortably between them. Will didn't look up from Nico's chest, though he seemed calmer than before.

Nico thought of the way Will had saved lives under fire at the Battle of Manhattan and the way he'd stopped crowds and weaved through crowds of enemies in the Battle at Half Blood Hill. He remembered thinking that he'd never seen anyone put such unswerving trust in his fellow demigods before. The most loyal and the most reliable camper in the field.

"The truth is" Nico murmured, "I always thought you were amazing in battle."

Will straightened up and rolled his eyes. "No you didn't."

"I did." Nico insisted. "I've always thought… You're so amazing, Will."

Will shrugged. "I'm just a healer."

"The best healer." said Nico. "The best combat healer. The best in a generation."

"You don't know that." Will mumbled.

"I do. Everyone knows it." Nico said. He reached up to cup Will's cheek in his palm. "I'm just so scared of losing you, Will."

"I'm scared of losing you too." Will's voice trembled. "Every time I think about how bad things have got for you lately, and how much worse they might get if you have to be alone down there again I-" Will cut off, unable to say it out loud.

Nico was quiet for a long time, thinking of what Percy had said to him earlier that day. He didn't move his hand from Will's face.

"When I spoke to Percy," Nico began, "He told me about when he and Annabeth were in Tartarus."

Will glanced up, apprehensive.

"He told me that when he was down there, he was afraid of himself sometimes. That Annabeth was afraid of him too. The way he used his powers…" Will's eyes widened at this, and Nico reached out with his spare hand to squeeze Will's as he went on. "It made me think about you."

"Me?" Will frowned at him.

"Yeah. It made me think about how you've never been afraid of me." Nico said. Will's eyes softened into a smile. "You've never been afraid. Even when I shared with you the worst things that I've done and… and even when I've tried to scare you-" Nico broke off with a half-hearted laugh. His hand was still on Will's cheek, his thumb brushing his jaw. Will bit his lip to hold back a grin.

"It also made me think about how… good you are." Nico breathed.

"Good?" Will raised an eyebrow.

"You're the best person I've ever met, Will. You're so kind. And selfless. And… I've never met anyone who cares about things like you do. You're so, so good, Will. And when I'm with you, I feel like maybe I could be good too." As he spoke. Nico felt his heart flutter with nerves and embarrassment and overwhelming joy that he got to call Will his boyfriend. Will gazed back at him with round eyes. His cheeks burned red.

Nico had thought that Will being the most thoughtful, generous person he'd ever met was a reason not to let him come to Tartarus. He couldn't imagine someone so good in such a horrible place. But really, he should have been thinking of those things as exactly the reasons why he was the best person for Nico to have fighting at his side.

"I guess I realised that… I could never be afraid of you. Everything about you - about us - makes me feel so safe and… I would be lucky - I am lucky - to have you with me."

"Nico…" Will blinked rapidly and pulled Nico towards him, wrapping his arms around his back and holding him tighter than he'd ever held Nico before.

"I'm sorry that I hurt you." Nico mumbled against his chest. Will just gripped him even tighter.

"You're not going to lose me." He said firmly, threading his fingers through Nico's hair and cradling the back of his head. "I'm not leaving you."

"I'm not leaving you, either." Nico said. Will let out a breath.

"Good." He said. His voice was suddenly a million times lighter.

Nico finally let himself smile for real and closed his eyes, running his fingers lightly against Will's back. They spent another few minutes holding each other in silence.

"You know I still think you shouldn't rush into anything." Will murmured, pulling back to meet Nico's eyes and gently brushing his hair away from his face. "I still think you need to be more sure about these voices before we decide to do anything."

Nico nodded, his attention still half lingering on the way Will's fingertips felt against his scalp.

"But when I figure that out, you'll help me?" Nico breathed.

"Of course I will." said Will.

Nico smiled, closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

"Good." he said heavily, thinking of the book he'd been poring over last night, now tucked into his backpack alongside the plastic container filled with freshly baked blue chocolate chip cookies. And he opened one eye to peek up at Will in apprehension. "Because I think I found a way into Tartarus without my father knowing."