#Percy has good taste in girlfriends and im not complaining

[imlyfie]

I don't think we talk enough about how badass Baby Annabeth is for a moment.

My girl straight up stabbed an Overgrown Hugeass FUCKING CYCLOPS, who was mimicking her dad's voice which was so compelling not to give in, especially after seeing the people who took care of her, her closest thing to family in a helpless situation. Oh yeah did I forget to mention the people who were in trouble were much older than her and Annabeth was only seven. Lemme, say it again, she was S-E-V-E-N.

Percy had doubts on his own bravery(which albeit slight lack of self-esteem) after hearing her aay this and wrapping it up with a shoulder shrug saying "oh he would've killed me". Like seriously....this girl.

Oh, and she ate a magic-proof vitamin within one minute and made sure to kick Circe's butt and hand it back to the sorceress, and requested her to be turned into a panther so she could slaughter Circe and held her at a knife point.

Dragged said sorceress to the cage and made sure she watched as Annabeth released all the male rodents that Circe had painstakingly captured with disdain

Like Ms Chase did not hesitate.

[jcmorgenstern]

Same anon that asked for the headcanons that btw is the same anon asking for Jon’s virginity: My god I love your headcanons and yes I would fully enjoy more if you have the time. 💕

omg I still haven’t finished all the virginity asks ghakfjghg I hope those weren’t yours. also fair warning these will probably veer dangerously into Woobifying Territory because im that person and im gross.

Jonathan sleeps with approximately 4,792 blankets and finds the heat and weight comforting. He will absolutely turn up the AC to do so. Does that apartment have AC? It does now.

Has no concept of what amount of food is gross to eat, so will often sit on the couch and demolish an entire jar of peanut butter in one sitting without feeling sick.

Val probably had a lot of physiology textbooks lying around the cabin due to his extremely unscientific “experiments” so uhh that’s where he got his sex ed. it’s just as bad as it sounds. From personal experience i can say physiology books are pretty terrifying.

He really hated Siberia because of how cold it was (as Sebastian you’ll notice he wears three or more layers even inside. dat bitch COLD). Edom probably has snow in some areas but Asmodeus and Lilith seem to live in an arid region.

God I actually have a really weird headcanon about how the courts of Edom work. So all the kids of the greater demons are considered princes of hell, but it’s a complex and fiercely competitive hierarchy for which child is most favored by their parent at the time and most in favor in the court overall. By virtue of being Lilith’s Only Miracle Half Angel Boy, Jonathan was not super popular with the other princes (I guess prince is a gender neutral term here??). Asmodeus’ kids are probably the best overall but like…..super Horny, Azazel’s kids fucking SUCK, Abbadon’s kids are all super depressed and torture people for fun, etc.

Enter: blonde kid with a bowl cut. It’s like fucking high school. it’s like percy jackson but in hell. it is literally and actually hell.

The courts of edom also occasionally get obsessed with human fads so sometimes it’s just like. 1800s Versailles! Ancient Greece! Lilith is constantly complaining Asmodeus won’t do Sumerian priestess and priest with her.

Most of the time in Edom after he learned to shapeshift Jonathan used the last self-image he remembered, which was him at ten. Lilith definitely thought he was cutest that way, though she was always kind of wistful he hadn’t turned out as an enormous dragon. Too chubby. Not enough claws. Definitely no fangs. Bit of a late bloomer with the wings.

Jonathan, as evidenced by the outfits he’s put together for 3b so far, has no ability to color coordinate at all. He may be slightly color blind. It’s tragic and still does not explain that scarf.

He killed a McDonald’s employee once for shortchanging him on fries. Not really the high point of self-control. Makes Rick and Morty fans look good and sane. He got a free drink refill out of it, though.

OH GOD how can I forget?? Ok so if vampires drinking angel blood confers resistance to sunlight, I’ve always wondered what drinking Jonathan’s blood would do. in the books Simon describes it as tasting like battery acid, but the vampires in COLS seem to drink it just fine. My personal onion is that it confers resistance to fire. Oh, the irony.

He did a shot of holy water on a dare. It didn’t do anything.

I also feel like he’d be pretty resistant to vampire venom/the werewolf demon virus or whatever it is. Like, he’s probably got more ichor or whatever than they do. fuckin up ur game

Seelies think he’s just a really weird fucked up seelie (but have to admit the ears are kind of cute in a sad sort of way) and GOD isn’t the lying hot and scandalous??

mmmmmmm the eyes black out during sexytimes

Maybe this is a weird one but I feel like even the image of Jonathan we see now (ie, Luke Baines) could be in part a projected or assumed image. We never saw him after he was reborn, and it doesn’t seem like it takes a lot of energy to hold a particular shape. Especially since after he was reborn he wouldn’t have any of the scars he had before like…losing his skin. So i imagine those could come and go depending on the Mood. Is this an excuse to keep in that goddamn cryptic “perils of obedience” line?? maybe. you can prove nothing.

Ohhh how could I forget a personal favorite? I really liked the idea that Valentine tried to rune Jace and Jonathan wayyyyy to early, and esp for Jonathan it . Did not go well. Like getting an angelic rune at like four (and ofc Valentine would go for Angelic Power first……..you know he would) when you have Pure Ass Demon Blood sounds…intense. If you’ve read the books you know how intense and angsty rune rejection can be. I fucking love it sorrynotsorry. Like I imagine how upset Valentine would be that his Brilliant Experiment didn’t go to plan and is rejecting the angelic blah blah blah you get the picture anyway angst and im here for it poor bby

Jonathan hates the taste of Earl Grey but transparently pretends to like it to impress Clary and she thinks he’s a fucking idiot.

Even though alcohol doesn’t have much of an effect he likes fruity drinks and straight vodka. Mostly the fruity drinks because they taste good hello?? but for some reason Clary keeps laughing and taking pictures of him?? rude.

I still maintain he had the ear pierced at Claire’s even thought i KNOW this fucking edgelord would do it himself i just need the image of this 20 something edgy fucking demon prince standing in line with a bunch of 8 year olds in princess dresses trying to figure out what “earring gun” could possibly mean. am i immature? yes but shut up

The whole “memorizing Paradise Lost” thing sounds all well and good until you know how fucking WORDY john milton is as a writer. He never shuts up. Also–and Miltonists are welcome to correct me–the Michael/Lucifer bond is bullshit, by the way. and honestly if either jace or jonathan had that book memorized lbr they’d never fucking shut up.

This is also the show that had Aldertree look up from casually reading Art of War at his desk so maybe I ask too much.

The COLS vampire kink is very real dont @ me

Has never received a birthday card (except one three months late from Sebastian’s aunt Elodie strongly implying Sebastian should stop fostering cats and start getting a girlfriend).

okay imma stop there while im still ahead because it is Late and that is a Lot. i hope you enjoy though, friend!!!