#Percy acts all chill and tough (and he can be tough) but he’s actually a big ol’ loser/aff

[justsomerandohere]

Christmas drawings of a clock and his gay loser boyfriend

I meant to post this 2 days ago hsjwkjskk (click for better quality)

I’m working on more aaf drawings (non oc related stuff)

Also I randomly changed the color of Percy’s flower to a darker blue in order to better match the one it’s based on (also I just like the dark blue better)

[hrhjeshea]

PJO characters as boyfriends:

PERCY JACKSON

* that cool kid who is cool without even trying to be; everybody is a little bit in love with him, but he is loyal to you only.

* likes to annoy you so he can have an excuse to hug you afterwards

* acts all goofy but is actually tough

LUKE CASTELLAN

* the boy your mom warned you about

* sneaks into your bedroom after curfew

* sometimes caught in his many issues and you are his only comfort

* total babe with the ragged look

NICO DI ANGELO

* acts like he is pissed all the time but is actually a softie

* rich kid with chauffeur

* chill and Netflix kind of dates

* pretends to be annoyed but secretly loves being adored by you

* takes a while before he can share secrets with you

JASON GRACE

* the boy your family loves because he’s so polite and charming, totally unfazed by your dad’s questions

* UN model boy, prefect, head boy, student council president, co-valedictorian

* never forgets what your favorites are

* always pushes himself to be better

LEO VALDEZ

* always surprises you

* sings with you during long car rides

* lowkey scared of you when you’re angry, tries to make it up for it by cooking your favorite foods

* makes up with his lack of height by his charisma

* is friends with everybody, even your cranky neighbor

FRANK ZHANG

* forced to be a jock for his built but is lowkey clumsy

* very humble; he’s not even aware of half the things he can do

* all the teachers love him for being helpful

* your mom treats him like her own kid

* never breaks the rules, but very reliable when you need him

[theraveninhisstudy]

💪🤯🤡

Favorite battle:

God, this is a tough one. in campaign one it’s probably a tie between scanlan’s triceratops rampage during the briarwood arc and grog’s pit fights with Kern the Hammer. The triceratops incident speaks for itself really, and the pit fights have this unique ��gimmick” going on where the way Travis and Matt flavor each blow to have real tactical meaning. It’s not just two dudes wailing on each other and seeing who gets the bigger numbers, Matt and the whole group have an amazing talent for painting these glorious pictures of combat that I feel was one of the things that really made Critical Role different to watch compared to other DnD podcasts I’d seen up until then, and Matt and Travis really did something amazing with Grog vs Kern. It also really shows how much is going on in Travis’s head in combat, which is easier to overlook during the earlier shows when his personal role in battle was mostly “GROG SMASH”.

Campaign 2, happened recent enough to be spoilery, so skip this one if you aren’t caught up. I’d actually have to say the battle against the Uka-toa fish people on the Ball-eater. Everything from Matt managing to completely blindside Travis, Travis’s regret at not seeing it coming, The long term implications the battle had in what the bad guys where trying to accomplish, The very real “What the Fuck, Mercer” fear, and of course the way the whole table came together to protect/save fjord. Talisen apparently said off camera that it was the angriest he’s ever played Caduceus and the moment where he says “Not in the Mood” moment is surprisingly chilling.

Favorite Reveal:

Campaign 1 fave reveal is probably the first time Matt brings up the briarwoods, which might be a bit of a stretch on what counts as a reveal, but it’s just one of those moments that’s done so beautifully. The way Matt just drops the name brairwood into what is essentially Background Worldbuilding NPC chatter to most of the group, on the tail of a conversation that had much more obvious in-character interests for the group. You can see everybody either looking at their notes or deciding what to do next already, and Matt says the words Briarwood and Talisen just snaps up like Matt just actually slapped him in the face and he’s all wide eyed and you can just see all of Percy’s trauma and turmoil as if it’s his own and ACTING and the integration of character and player that’s just one of the things i seriously love about Dungeons and Dragons. 

Campaign 2 fave reveal probably goes to the one-two punch of Nott’s family and Nott’s curse. Sam’s particular style of acting tends to make even the more serious character moments feel like a bit. There are only a handful of moments outside of incredibly dire combat where his character is the center character that he doesn’t bring some sort of levity to in some way. And the triple gut punch of revealing Nott’s family, her curse, and Husband being kidnapped by the Dynasty leading up to Nott actually lashing out at Caleb just had me shaking with so many emotions and feeling like Sam Reigal and Matt Mercer had just drained literal years off my life.

Worst take that I still stand by:

There’s a part of me that sort of wishes Matt had kept Tiberius around as an NPC. Kicking Orion from the show was absolutely the right thing to do, and having Tiberius leaving Vox Machina the way he did was probably the right way to handle that. Even killing him felt like a good narrative choice and happened long enough after the fact that it didn’t feel unnecessarily malicious. I just think that when you remove Orion’s shitty behavior on and off the table from the equation, Tiberius had enough charming quirks and mannerisms that I found him pretty entertaining, and Matt’s short performance as him when he left the party permanently made me want to see more on his take on the character. I get the probably reasons why he never used Tiberius in that way, and admittedly Vox Machina manages to feel complete without him in a way that it doesn’t when it’s missing literally any of the other original members, but I’m still a bit curious about what could have been if different decisions had been made.  

[kristinstoked]

List of My Favorite Things in The Lightning Thief Musical (as heard on audio)

Disclaimer: someone got me an audio of the show from 2017, so no, I have not seen the show. This is all gained from simple audio. Also this list used to be way longer like I have more awesome moments but I had to tone it own a lil’

First of all, Chris McCarrell started singing and i started cryiiing. This man lays so much emotion in Percy AND IT’S WHAT HE DESERVES

“Their father Kronos” “KROOONOOOOOSSSSS” (this happens two times btw it’s awesome)

Okay so on the cast album when Grover goes like “you’re not exactly...” and then Percy finishes it off with “normal” and Percy sounds angry and fed up. But then here he says it in a really sad and disappointed way and SOMEONE GIVE THIS BOY A HUG PLEAS

“we saw all this x-rated art. Museums are crazy” “the headmaster called me” “about the art?” (convo between Percy and Sally)

I love that James plays Chris’ step-father, uncle and best friend-turned-enemy and definitely more in one musical.

“If he was my kid-” “He’s not.” I stan Sally Jackson with all my heart ugh (convo between Gabe and Sally)

okay so i’m pretty sure that the last note in Strong is sung by both Sally and Percy on the cast album but not here and honestly??? it just shows that Sally realizes she can’t take care of Percy anymore and that he now has to do it alone; be strong on his own and i just made myself cry

“Hey look a goat! Hey little guy - GROVER????” (also this means that at some point Percy can only see his legs which makes me wonder what position Grover is in)

“is a Fury after Percy right now?” “Oh no no no (as in don’t worry no)” “oh thank god” “IT’S A MINOTAUR” (convo between Sally and Grover)

THE CHAIRS CONSTANTLY BREAKING DURING ANOTHER TERRIBLE DAY

“Mr. D can be a bit- well, he hates children”

when grover comes to apologize to Percy for what happend he’s all talking himself down and being like “i’m the worst satyr in the world” and then Percy says “I’m so glad you are here” and i can only assume they hug at this point

“admit it, i’m the smartest person you know” “yeah, you’re also the toughest so i would admit it either way” “you think i’m tough?” (convo between Annabeth and Luke)

First of all, that above was Clarisse erasure but whatever

“are you ever going to wear pants ever again?” “nope” (convo between Percy and Grover)

okay so hearing this without seeing it makes it kinda confusing at most times but at some point percy makes light saber noises???? so like??? i assume he’s holding a sword and thinks that’s appropriate????

“YOU’RE MY DREAM GIRL” (as said by Percy Jackson)

“sexist much?” (said by Annabeth when Percy assumes only male gods can have children)

i’m very gay for kristin stokes and sarah beth pfeifer

“[clarisse] could have killed me” “the plan would have worked either way” (convo between Percy and Annabeth)

also PARALLEL; when realizing that Annabeth used Percy as a distraction he says “you set me up” which is like also literally what he says to luke so foreshadowing that Percy is going to get played

*everyone talking about how they hate their parents* “hi my name is percy and i love my mom” (i know it’s on the cast album but it’s too iconic not to mention)

“my dad is Poseidon? SUH-WEEEEET”

“Mr D wants to kill you - I MEAN TALK TO YOU” 

“why is Zeus mad at me?” “Um you were born??” (convo between Percy and mr. D)

*Mr D talking about the lightning bolt* “and we’re not talking about some crowny tin foil zig zag from some off-broadway play”

“okay so what happens now?” *amidst a coughing fit “dolphin”* (convo between Percy and Mr. D)(also mr d constantly wanting to turn Percy into a dolphin is everything)

“the underworld is in los angeles” “really? actually, I’m not surprised” (convo between Luke and Percy)

"he claimed me because he needs me? where was he when i got kicked out of school or we couldn’t pay our rent???”  aaahhhh yesss angsty percy i love him

“you’re expelling me. Again.” (aka MORE ANGST)

also i know he climbs the scaffolding during good kid so i need a video of that someone come through

Act II has barely started and they’re already being attacked which I think accurately describes Percy’s life

How is Percy the only one who thinks that maybe getting your picture taken by a strange woman in a garden full of human statues is a little sketchy? 

also these 3 are idiots. how did they not die in the first book

“Your mother and I are old nemesisss... nemesisssss... WE DONT LIKE EACH OTHER” 

*in the most dry tone ever* “ow. my head.” (said by Medusa)

“Just tell her it wasn’t your  fault.” “You’re right, it’s yours”

“Medusa used to be beautiful until... *mumbling*” “until?” “until her mom turned her into a monster! *laughing* .... oh look, a bunch of empty boxes!!!” (Annabeth - Percy - Grover)

“you don’t even know how to hold a sword.” “yes i do - wait *presumably fumbles with sword* *very smug* yesss, I do.” (convo between Annabeth and Percy)

Tree on the Hill has NO BUSINESS being like that

“are we sure we’re ready to do this?” “not at all. let’s go.”

“we drowned. in a bathtub.” “all three of us.” 

“guys... i think this pit... is Tartarus?” “LIKE THE FISH SAUCE????” (convo between Annabeth and Percy)

“why would Kronos want my shoes?” “they were really cool shoes” (convo between Grover and Percy)

“there is no way in HELL... sorry” (said by the sass master Percy)

“[Your father] doesn’t care about family. Or his brother, who he never visits. He’s too busy playing with mermaids and dolphins and thinking he’s soooo cool in his Hawaiian shirt.” Damn Hades, chill with the salt already

“Does [gabe] have some magic power or something?” “you could say that. his smell.” (convo between Percy and Poseidon)

“have you ever heard of Hercules and the Augean stables? That guy smells worse.” (said by Poseidon)

*very touching speech from Father Poseidon to his beloved son* “still, I am sorry you were born.”

“as our official protector you can escort is back to camp.” “and you’re conscious this time!!!!” (convo between Percy and Grover)

“you met my dad? ... Did he mention me?” (said by Clarisse)

good kid reprise is giving me all the feels and i am crying bye.

also can we appreciate the strength it must have taken Annabeth to turn her back on Luke???? Like here’s this guy who’s been protecting her since forever, who literally was a hero to her because without him she wouldn’t have been alive. She probably idolized him, and she definitely loved him (as a brother or silly crush). But still she turns her back on him. That is strength.

And those were a few of my favorite things so you can probably guess how much i love this musical. 

[batgirl-87]

Get to know MC/Jacob (I can't remember which you've answered apparently, so hopefully these are new): 4, 6, and 21

If these are for the Talk About Your MC and Jacob Asks by @cokebottlesanddenim then no I have not answered those ones! (Even if I had I appreciate the ask regardless; and if they’re for my MC and Jacob Asks umm… I’d suggest checking my Masterlist where I have an Ask section) 

Thank you for asking! =)

4. Is Jacob physically and/or mentally different after he is released from the Vaults? How does he change?

So I am about halfway through Year 5 I think? I know I’m still way behind everyone else but I haven’t heard of any confirmation that Jacob is actually in the last Vault??? But I could be wrong and missed it… 

I’ve always had the idea that I prefer for my version of Jacob where he agrees to join the Cabal with a plan to take them out from the inside and do his best to stop them from hurting more people, primarily his family, and gaining more power while acting as a loyal member. (Plus I don’t know if I believe the voice MC hears is really Jacob and not the Cabal manipulating her to open the last Vault for them) I won’t go into my whole idea for it right now because I’m going to try my best to not make this too long, but - while it’s not the same as being trapped in a Vault, I do believe going undercover would affect him. Especially what he might of had to go through to prove he’s loyal to them and be accepted into their cult.

So like most version’s of Jacob he’d need some time to recover and recuperate. He could have gone through physical torture and been forced to do some terrible things, such as harm others, to prove himself to the Cabal, as well as endure emotional manipulation. And for my Jacob who tries to protect others, having to hurt others would really cause him a lot of internal conflict. Even if he’s not the one doing the harm, just sitting back and allowing other members of the Cabal to hurt and possibly kill others would not sit well with him - that’s not the type of person he is! While he’s trying to do something good and save others, particularly his family, to do that he has to do some bad things and hurt others which can make him concerned that he is becoming this bad person like the other Cabal members and losing himself. There would be a lot of internalized guilt, which he already had plenty of because of Duncan, and now this. 

Physical torture he can handle (Quidditch is a tough sport and it’s on him and not happening to anyone else where he would feel he needs to help them and stop it, and he can heal from the physical damage) but having to hurt others or constantly have his family threatened, questioning his own morals and values and what type of person he is and wants to be and who he’s possibly becoming, would be what really affects him and sticks with him and would be something he’d have to deal with probably for the rest of his life. Over time it may not affect him daily but I think there would be moments and situations that would trigger that trauma for him and cause him to question again what type of person he really is based on how he reacted or thought about reacting or reminded him of what he had done. 

I feel like there would also be a constant fear in the back of his mind that there would still be a member or some members of the Cabal left after everything who would find him and hurt his family to get back at him for what he did to them. So the normally super chill Jacob would have a lot more anxiety, though he’d still hide it well, and the already protective Jacob would become even more protective and even paranoid at times.

And if he is in the Vault I feel like a lot of this will still stand because he did have to do some things he’s not proud of to find the Vaults and dealt with the Cabal. (I hope that all makes sense, I wrote this late last night =p)

6. What’s Jacob’s opinions of Prefects, especially the ones 4 years older than MC?

I don’t think Jacob thinks much of Prefects… Not like he thinks little of them, but like he doesn’t really think of them…ever… =p Listen, he’s going to do what he wants to do, when he wants to, and some kid who’s a few years older than him isn’t going to boss him around or punish him. Seriously, a kid like three years older than him has all this authority over him? No. He probably views Prefects like Percy the Prefect. Annoying, false sense of great authority, and he’ll just rolls his eyes, ignore them, and if they continue to nag he’ll shove them aside. Or down the stairs. He probably told them to shut up too. And if the Prefect went to the Head of House or some Professor to get him in trouble they would receive a terrifying death glare from him and most likely quickly learn to never do that again or else face his wrath. But as long as they didn’t let the power of being a Prefect go to their heads and treat him poorly and disrespectfully, he’d be fine with them.

Clearly Jacob also was not on track to become a Prefect, nor would he want to be one anyway. He doesn’t want to be bossed around but he also doesn’t want to boss others around and punish them for doing… whatever (if he ever did become Prefect he’d be the most chill Prefect ever! - Literally does not care =p) Also he clearly was not Quidditch Captain but there are other reasons for that =p

As for what he thinks about the Prefects we all know and love…

Chester needs sleep (obviously); Felix seems cool; Angelica and Jacob never had any issues and she seemed to understand and respect his wishes to not be bossed around and treated lesser than because she had a badge and he didn’t (and she apparently had a crush on him?!?!) so he respected her back and tried not to cause her too much grief - it’s all about mutual respect; And Jane… that’s probably the only one he actually feared (although who knows if he’d admit that or not) and would do his best to avoid at all costs and would never want to cross her because she’s the only one who would be immune to his death glare! =p

(I know Jacob in the game is in the same house as you but my version of Jacob is a Gryffindor while my MC is a Slytherin)

21. Would MC/Jacob prefer to live in the lively, populated city or the quiet, sparse countryside?

Jacob would prefer the quiet countryside, but he knows if he wants to play Quidditch professionally he’ll have to live in a populated city to do so since that’s where the teams are! However, after he makes enough money (I assume professional Quidditch players would make a lot like professional athletes do…) he’d buy a second house in the quieter countryside, next to or in some woods, but also nearby to a town where he could get food, go out to eat and get a drink, and such of course, where he’d live during the offseason. 

As for my MC, she would prefer the livelier city. She needs things to do, she needs places to go that are open late =p While she does love to escape to a quieter place like Jacob’s second home or Charlie’s place in Romania, she couldn’t live there full time. She’d get restless and bored and need action - she needs action! (This probably all stems from her needing to keep busy so she can never have a moment to sit and allow all the stress and emotions over her situation with the Vaults and Jacob and Beatrice and the Cabal and her O.W.L.s etc. to overwhelm her, so if she doesn’t keep busy then overwhelming emotions come flooding in and she can’t handle it! And now she probably has no idea how to relax =p) 

After she graduates Hogwarts she would become a Curse-Breaker with Bill in Egypt and live there with him but also visit Charlie in Romania, and London, and her brother and family in Canada, and the Burrow, and other friends as often as she can, and even after Bill retires as a Curse-Breaker she would still bounce around from his house, 12 Grimmauld Place, Charlie’s place, and Jacob’s so instead of having one place of residence she’d always have at least 3-4. 

I always thought the Dragon Sanctuary in Romania had a quaint little town nearby with a pub and market and as cute as it probably is (in my mind it is anyway =p) and as peaceful as Charlie’s place is, while it’s a great place for her to recover and relax because constantly breaking curses or doing other dangerous jobs clearly requires some down time, she would go stir crazy if she had to be there all the time and may try to start a pub fight for some excitement (plus as mentioned she has some issues and maladaptive coping techniques). But it seems like a great, perfect place for Charlie! And it’s sort of like a special serene retreat for her when she visits and may even be viewed as a peaceful, calm future for her and a life she could have, but for now she needs more action and liveliness (plus getting to share a home with Charlie is a huge bonus =p)

I also think with just her own personal issues she has, she feels like she doesn’t really deserve to relax or be happy all the time so she wouldn’t live with Charlie all the time. She’d start to get too comfortable then worry that something bad was going to happen, she’s going to do something to ruin it, or she doesn’t deserve to be this relaxed and happy! So she has to go now. Love you, bye! =p So it really is like a special reward, like after doing a job and now she deserves to relax and be happy for awhile but then she’ll have to go do something else to deserve going back - does that make sense? Plus, like Jacob, she wants to help others and she wants to make a difference so she can’t just sit back and not get involved! She can’t be kicking back in Romania with Charlie and the dragons when shit is going down! She has to help and protect them (and then Sirius, Tonks, Remus, and Fred would live because she would save them! But even other times not involved with the war she would feel the same way).

Whoops, this kind of went off on a tangent so to simplify, Jacob - quiet countryside, Keira - lively city (with relaxing vacation in the quiet countryside =p).

[valdeznation]

i'll start with leo bc he's my favorite and a fellow latino ^_^

he's a) the only latino in the series (apart from reyna and alex. the issue with reyna is that her entire arc is that She's Not Like Other Girls, but that's with like,, every girl in the series. alex is a whole other story for lgbtq+ misrepresentation) and he's described as annoying, feeling inferior to the people on the boat who are like 80 or 90% white, and disrespecting women. jason literally says that he shouldn't be trusted with sharp objects. again, he's the only latino in the series. (i'm gonna repeat that a lot) if none of the demigods were to be trusted around sharp objects, i wouldn't have a problem, but it's only the latino who can't be trusted. he's called the weak link in the team. he takes everyone's bullsht and sucks it up because he thinks he deserves it. no other character acts that way. he's the only male (and, once again, latino) on the boat who is short and scrawny and has elf ears.

fcking elf ears.

all the other boys are normal and tough and muscular and heroic. leo's scrawny and annoying. and latino. (see i told you) the whole 'mamacita' thing >:( calypso asked him to stop and he ignored that. flirting and falling in love with everything that is female and moves. that's so, so wrong. he's the comic relief. he constantly makes bad jokes and isn't serious about anything, except for that one time when they're all about to die. he was abused. (the only other people who were abused in the series are reyna, alex and hazel, who are all poc, and percy.) he literally died to save humankind and when he got back, people lined up to slap and hit him?? lined up to hit an abused person???? and he's constantly speaking in spanglish, which is annoying because actual latinos don't... speak like that. and just- the main thing is that none of the other characters feel this way, not even the other latines. he didn't do any research, and it shows.

i can try to link a few tumblr posts that explain in much more depth if you'd like since they've got a bit more information and it's all explained much better. (also. um. this- that had a lot - a lot - of anger and upset and the other posts are a bit more chill-)

(hey other people if i missed anything please add on and correct me)

@thechaoticbisexual

rick's books have a not-okay amount of racism, perpetuation of harmful stereotypes, and misrepresentation in them. grow up and accept it. rick's a white man who does not understand what it is to be a poc or a minority or lgbtq+, the least he could have done was his fricking research, but the truth is that he didnt and you need to deal with it. calling the people who are a) misrepresented in the books and b) accepting these facts, calling them haters is just on a different level of immature.

[slytherin--king-blog]

Soft and Painless (Scar Tissue - Chapter 15)

Summary: (AU)  A few years ago, Draco’s life changed for the worst. Still, he could live with it, he could adapt. But when another werewolf comes in Hogwarts to teach the students, it starts to get dangerous.

Their absences and behavior towards each other raise some eyebrows and Draco is afraid that a curious mind might even end up seeing right through him.

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7 - Part 8 - Part 9 - Part 10 - Part 11 - Part 12 - Part 13 - Part 14 | playlist | FF.net | AO3

Pairing: Draco MalfoyxHermione Granger, Lucius MalfoyxNarcissa Black Malfoy

Characters: (it’ll be updated every time a new character appears)  Werewolf!Draco Malfoy, Lucius Malfoy, Narcissa Malfoy, Dobby, unknown werewolf, the man Lucius is meeting (so much information wow), Severus Snape, Remus Lupin, Minerva McGonagall, Hermione Granger, Harry Potter, Ron Weasley, Albus Dumbeldore, Rubeus Hagrid (mentioned), Pansy Parkinson, Buckbeak (mentioned), Madam Pince, Gregory Goyle (mentioned), Vincent Crabbe (mentioned), Neville Longbottom (mentioned), Madam Pomfrey (mentioned), Dolores Umbridge (mentioned), Fred and George Weasley (mentioned), Sirius Black (mentioned), Luna Lovegood, Sybill Trelawney (mentioned), Ginny Weasley, Percy Weasley.

Word Count: 7,106

Warnings: Rollercoaster of emotions

YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

A/N: Ready for the Dramione feels? 

The Werewolves Squad: @prayfordream @carry-on-you-wayward-winchesters​ @shit-happens-bitchachos @oceanblue-and-forestgreen​ @chelsea072498@dracosmanor @lauralikenoone @mad–chill @wolfstar0scorbus@browntown630 @newtismyspiritanimal​ @havingmusicismylifeandworld @dreymain @sonyamd34​ @teamfreewill-girl@hearted-words @hei924​ @broitswinchester @sarahkate1116 @directionerpjab @criticalstardust @06132001pg @claclm @somethingabouttheway @yandere-rat @morettigrg @grangermalfoylovechild @hearted-words​ @woundedtoaster​

Draco opened his eyes and heard quiet voices next to him. He blinked a few times and rolled on his other side, yawning. The voices stopped and he opened his eyes again. He saw legs. Someone was sitting on a chair next to him.

The room was filled with light and clearly, it wasn't his dormitory. He blinked a few times again and remembered that he was in the hospital. He looked up to discover Lupin who was watching him. And next to him was Pansy, sitting on another chair. She had a little smile on her face and was clearly less tense than she had been when he had fallen asleep.

"Draco, how are you feeling?" She asked. Draco could hear the relief in her voice. He slightly stretched and felt some pain in his body.

"I've been better..." he said as he sat up. He glanced at Lupin again, who was still staring at him and he looked away as quickly.

"Miss Parkinson, do you mind..." Lupin said before he finally looked at Pansy. She stood up and approached Draco's bed. She put a hand on his shoulder, pressed it and leaned to kiss his cheek.

"I'm so glad you're alright," she whispered before she turned around to leave the room quickly. Draco watched her leave, using her not to have to look at Lupin again. When the door was closed, his teacher approached his chair to be closer to the bed.

"She was really worried for you," he said quietly. Draco didn't look at him. "Actually, I've been worried too... Really worried," he confessed. Still, he couldn't make Draco turn his head. "And... Harry told me you were here... What happened and... I wanted to talk to you."

"I'm sorry," Lupin heard Draco say with a shaking voice. He frowned.

"Why would you be? I'm not the one in the hospital bed. Look at me," he said. Draco didn't, he swallowed and looked down instead. Lupin moved to sit on the bed, close to Draco. "Come on Draco, look at me," he repeated as he put one hand on his shoulder. "I'm not mad at you."

Draco didn't believe him. It was difficult to believe him, because he was mad at himself. So why wouldn't Lupin be mad at him? He had been so afraid, so hurt and so sad in a few hours, he didn't know what to think anymore. He had been ashamed too. Not only because Harry and Hermione had seen him, but also because of his actions. He felt Lupin pressing his shoulder.

"Did I... Did I hurt you?" Draco asked. He turned his head a little but still couldn't face his teacher.

"You did," Lupin said, not seeing the point in lying. "I never thought you would be so aggressive," he added. Draco gritted his teeth and clenched his fists on his blanket. "But I'm still in a better shape than you are. If someone really has to apologize, it's me."

"No, I-"

"You attacked me, saving two innocent lives by doing so."

"But I didn't plan that!" He said, finally looking at Lupin, meeting his eyes directly. Lupin could read his expression, he could see how damaged he was morally. "I wanted to- When I saw them, I- I was about to lose it, even with the potion, I... I told you it would happen one day, I told you that I was a monster, or that I would become one, I-"

"What are you talking about?" Lupin asked with a soft smile, interrupting Draco who had suddenly been talking really fast. "You didn't become the monster you thought you would be. That's not..." He sighed. It was complicated, he knew he wouldn't be able to reason with Draco like he would with someone else. "It wasn't supposed to happen. You didn't plan the attack either. It was my fault, I didn't... think about the cycle, I didn't take any precautions, I was too busy with... It was an accident, and no one was really hurt besides us. And I told you, I'm fine."

"But you were hurt," Draco said shortly. "And you can talk about accidents all you want," he added more quietly, "It shouldn't have happened but still, it did. Last night, it was just... Just... Faith. There's no accident, it's-"

"Is that what you really believe?" Lupin asked. Draco shrugged, realizing that Lupin still had his hand on his shoulder. He liked the contact, he only needed that to feel a bit safer.

"Does it matter now? It's the end anyway... Potter knows. Weasley knows and Granger knows..."

"Hermione knew way before last night," Lupin said calmly. Draco looked at him again and Lupin nodded. "It's been months. She knew for the both of us in the beginning of the year. And see, she never told a soul. It's not the end, Draco, did you ever think they might keep your secret?"

Draco couldn't believe it. She had known this whole time and had never said anything, not even to him? Why? And was that why she was so nice with him? Was it... pity? Or was she genuinely wanting to know him better, to spend time with him?

"I think you should have a conversation with her. But you don't have to worry. I also asked Harry and Ron not to tell anyone."

"As if they-"

"Draco, can you listen?" Lupin asked. Draco met his eyes and took a deep breath, feeling his back hurt as he did so. "I know it has been a really tough year for you. I'll never deny it, and it was partly my fault so I'm sorry," he said. Draco looked down, blinking as he held back the tears that were filling his eyes. Lupin kept going, talking a bit more quietly. "And this year... has been interesting for me. I hadn't lived anything like it for... Quite some time now. Remember when I told you I never thought I would be more than a teacher for the students here? This year I met three thirteen-years old, I... also got to see someone I hadn't seen in a long time and who grew up to be, like the other three, really brave. Some of the bravest people I have ever met. I consider myself lucky for that. Unfortunately, some of them might not understand all the courage you must have to gather to live the way you do. They might not be able to understand how difficult and painful it is. But this is not a reason for them to betray the trust of their friend or mine. They promised Hermione and they promised me. I would be very disappointed if I had to learn that they told anyone."

"You'd probably be one of the first to know," Draco said, his voice a bit shaky again. He swallowed, turning his head even more to be sure Lupin wasn't able to see his face. His teacher didn't mind because he didn't want Draco to see his expression either.

"I'm not sure about that," he said quietly. Draco frowned and felt the hand on his shoulder pressing it again. "I have to leave, Draco."

This was the icing on the cake that was Draco's life. He didn't show any reaction. He didn't look at Lupin, he kept looking at the other beds, at the walls, at nothing and everything but Lupin, not even breathing. But he let the tears roll down his face at last, as he gritted his teeth not to let any sound come out. He started to cry silently and Lupin didn't move, he didn't remove his hand from his shoulder even though he felt Draco's back shaking a little. He knew that he was crying, but he wasn't sure he should talk. Draco was always too unpredictable and Lupin didn't want him to be angry or embarrassed again.

But Draco was just tired, really. He couldn't gather any of the courage Lupin was talking about anymore. It was pointless. It had always been pointless, but he had always thought he had to act this way. And with Lupin, he had naively thought he had discovered why. But even that was falling apart. He moved his head a bit when he felt Lupin's fingers going on his neck. Draco closed his eyes, feeling new tears rolling down his face.

"I'm sorry. That's not what I want but... I have to," Lupin said.

"You don't have to, that's not true..." Draco said, feeling his chin shake and he slowly pulled his legs against his chest.

"You're right. I didn't have to resign but in a way..." Draco shook his head. "Someone told the students about... what I am. I can't stay here. Soon, letters will arrive, no one will want their kids to be taught by someone like us," he almost whispered.

"Dumbledore will make you stay," Draco mumbled, not really clearly. Lupin had a sad smile as he moved his fingers a bit on Draco's neck.

"But I won't let him," Lupin said.

"But why?" Draco said louder. This time, it sounded like he was pleading. He let Lupin hear that he was crying, but he still didn't look at him. Lupin looked down, feeling the same way  but he wouldn't show it. He didn't answer either. "Who told them?" Draco asked, a bit more quietly but still devastated.

"That's not the point, Draco. Look at me, we need to talk about something else," he said, trying to keep a steady voice.

"I don't care!" Draco said, louder again. He finally turned his head to look at Lupin, breaking his heart. "I don't care, you can't leave me! Who told them? Who would do that to you?"

Lupin didn't even know what to say, seeing Draco like this. He had removed his hand from his neck when Draco had turned his head and he looked down.

"It's not important," Lupin said. Draco narrowed his eyes before his vision became blurry again. He couldn't take it anymore. Then, a thought struck him.

"It was Snape, wasn't it?" He asked quietly, his voice breaking again. Lupin clenched his jaw as he looked up at Draco.

"You can't blame him. There are things you don't know, there's history, there's-"

"I don't care!" Draco said as he removed the blanket he still had on his legs. Lupin stood up as he saw that Draco was getting out of his bed. "I don't care," he repeated as he walked towards the end of the bed before he faced his teacher again. "I'll- I'll tell my father, he- I'll have him- He's gonna- I-"

Lupin walked towards Draco, shaking his head as he approached him.

"Would you calm down? I'm not angry at him and you shouldn't be, he-"

"But I am!" Draco cried before he felt Lupin's hands on his wrists. "Why would he- He knew it would hurt me too, why would he do that? Why would he... Why? Just because he didn't like you and your friends? That's not good enough! What are you going to do? You can't find another job, you will- What are you going to do?" He was talking fast, helpless, his thoughts being a mess in his head. He wasn't even totally aware of the pain in his body, because he was too sad and angry. Lupin pulled his arms a little to make him come closer. After that, he let go of his wrists and put his hands on both sides of Draco's head.

"Calm down," he repeated. Draco let out a sob as he closed his eyes.

"But I don't want you to leave..." He opened his eyes again, his tears still streaming down his face.

"I know," Lupin whispered.

"I don't want to be alone again..."

"I know."

Draco sobbed again and he slowly lowered his head as he grabbed Lupin's wrists.

"I don't want you to go... I don't want that... So you have to stay..."

Lupin closed his eyes for a second before he slowly moved his hands from Draco's face to finally pass his arms around Draco's body. He didn't hug him too hard, not wanting to hurt him because of his injuries but still, he hugged him and he felt Draco's fingers grip his clothes.

"Here you go... Let it out... Let it all out," he said as Draco hid his face against him, still crying and his body shaking. "It's fine... It's going to be. It doesn't mean we will never talk again," Lupin said, trying to reassure Draco like he could. "You can write any time you want. And even if you don't, I will, is that alright with you?" He asked with the same sad smile as before. Draco closed his eyes and sniffed before he nodded, still against Lupin, not ready to let go just yet. Lupin would give him the time he needed, since it might be the only moment like this they would have. Yes, they would write to each other, but Lupin wasn't sure they would see each other anymore. It would mainly depend on Draco, of course, but still, their situation wasn't easy.

After a few minutes, Lupin walked Draco back to his bed and they both sat on the edge. Like Lupin had said, he still had to talk to him about something.

"Now, I need you to promise me something too," he said quietly, looking at Draco.

"What is it?" Draco asked as he tried to dry his cheeks with his hands, tired. He had always been so proud, and now he was feeling miserable, allowing himself to show how weak he was. He didn't know why Lupin had this effect on him. With Lupin, he could just let his emotions go. Maybe because he could understand him more than anyone else.

"You need to focus on yourself a bit more," Lupin whispered. Draco frowned and looked at his teacher, meeting his eyes. "And by that, I mean... Focus on what's good for you. I didn't know you before but from what I've seen, you've changed quite a lot in one year. You grew up, you opened up, you discovered new things... Maybe it would be good if you kept those new things around, you know. It might help," Lupin said with a little smile. Draco looked down again, feeling his cheeks becoming warmer. He was so pale that Lupin noticed the shade they were taking and he stopped himself from smiling more. "I just need you to promise you will take care of yourself, do what makes you happy and... I'd say avoid getting in troubles but I think we can agree that it's not going to be easy."

For the first time that day, Draco chuckled. He sniffed again and looked at Lupin before he slowly nodded.

"Ok, I promise."

"Now, why don't you get some rest?" Lupin said as he glanced at the mattress. This time, Draco shook his head.

"If I do, you're going to leave me alone..." Lupin pursed his lips for a second.

"Draco, we talked about this..."

"And I just promised that I would keep what makes me happy around," Draco said, not looking at Lupin anymore but at the wall behind him. Lupin smiled.

"I can stay for a while," he said, nodding towards his chair.

"You're going to leave when I'll be asleep," Draco said, still not looking at Lupin. His teacher stood up and walked towards his chair without saying anything. He sat down and stared at Draco's back until he finally moved to lie down on the mattress, covering himself with the blanket.

Draco stared at the ceiling for a minute before he slowly rolled on his side, telling himself that it was just because his back was hurting. But he stared at Lupin for a while. Their eyes met and Lupin smiled to him.

"It was a horrible, horrible year," Draco said quietly. Lupin kept smiling as he tilted his head. "But it was the best..."

Draco closed his eyes as he thought he was about to cry again. He knew Lupin would be gone when he would wake up, that was why his teacher hadn't answered earlier, because he couldn't lie about that to Draco. He couldn't promise him he was going to stay that day if it wasn't the case, he couldn't give him false hopes about that.

So, if Draco had to keep one last image of Lupin in his head, it would be one of him smiling the way he did when he had said those last words. Not an image of a blurry teacher, but the image of a smiling friend.

Needless to say that the next morning was a bit tough for Draco. He was so tired that he had slept during the rest of the day and during the whole night before waking up really early in the morning. Like he had thought, Lupin had left. It didn't surprise him and he didn't cry, maybe because he wasn't so exhausted anymore. But he actually didn't really react either. He caught himself glancing at the chair next to the bed a few times but he was mainly trying not to think about it, especially when Madam Pomfrey came to check on his wounds. He just promised himself he would write to him as soon as he would get back home. That's all he could do, in a way, and thinking about it was making him feel better. It would be alright, they would still be talking.

The most difficult part would be the next cycles. Before, he could tell himself that he would only live two of them alone but now, he knew he would face all of them all by himself again and he didn't like that. But he had to live with that fact. He had to live with all of what had happened. And with his new scars. Not only the ones on his body, but also the new ones in his head.

Pansy came in the hospital during the afternoon, with a few things for him to eat. Madam Pomfrey was just putting new bands on him before she opened the curtains around the bed, discovering Draco's friend. She allowed her to stay and told her that he would be able to leave the next day. Then, she forced him to eat the food Pansy had brought and told him that his healing process was, indeed, going very well. He would keep those scars forever, of course, but she said that it wouldn't look too bad and it reassured Draco a little, even though he knew he wouldn't be able to look at them no matter what, let alone show his body to anyone. Pansy had seen, of course, but it was different.

He smiled at his best friend as she sat on the end of the bed. She wasn't wearing her uniform, she was wearing a pretty black dress. No one was wearing their uniforms anymore because everyone was enjoying the end of term. Draco couldn't wait to get out of the hospital.

"That's what I'm talking about," Draco said as he smirked when she put some sweets she had apparently been hiding on the bed, between the both of them. Pansy chuckled.

"Did you think I would come without nothing you really like?" She asked. "And... Professor Snape told me to give you this," she said as she handed him an envelope.

"Don't care," Draco said, not even looking at the envelope just before he started to eat a Chocolate Cauldron, looking at what else Pansy had brought. She tilted her head.

"It's your exams results," she said. Draco glanced at her, then at the envelope, and he finally took it with his free hand. Still, he waited to eat the rest of his Chocolate Cauldron before he opened the letter. Pansy was eager to know if he had passed his examinations, knowing that he hadn't been really focused on his studies that year. Draco read the letter silently before he handed it to Pansy, satisfied. He took a Green Apple Strip before he leaned on the pillow behind his back. The injury there was still hurting but it was bearable.

"I have to be honest, I didn't expect you to do... that well," she said.

"Oh, me neither, life's full of surprises apparently," he said and when she looked at him, he smiled again. She shook her head and folded the letter to put it back in the envelope.

He had passed, and he had succeeded in every classes but he definitely didn't get really outstanding results. Still, it was understandable and he wasn't really disappointed. His parents might make some comments on this, though. But it was alright, at least, he had passed. He wanted to focus on this kind of things, not on small details that might ruin his mood, like Snape. Still, he was so mad at him.

"I can't believe he came here and asked me how I was doing," Draco mumbled.

"Who?" Pansy asked, helping herself with some sweets.

"Snape," Draco said before he grimaced. Pansy didn't say anything at first, she just considered her friend.

"Well, I guess he's worried about your well-being, I mean... Aren't you two... close?" Pansy asked, not knowing which words to use. She knew that they were, of course, she knew that Draco had met Snape years ago. She knew he was the one making the potion for him ever since he had been bitten and that they had spent some alone time together. Still, now, she also knew the situation was complicated and she didn't know if it was even a good idea to talk about him.

"We are nothing anymore," Draco said, looking away. "Not since he made Lupin leave, I still can't believe this," he said as he took an angry bite of his Green Apple Strip. Pansy hadn't had the chance to talk with him about that whole thing. She had been there when Snape had told the students about Lupin and she had made sure no one was thinking about Draco then. "I can't believe Lupin's not even... angry, he was so calm, and I thought I was going mental when he asked me not to be angry either, as if," he kept on going, shaking his head. "Nutter..." he mumbled, thinking about Lupin. Pansy smiled a little.

"You miss him already, don't you?" She asked. Draco shrugged and looked at Pansy again. "Don't focus on all of this right now. In a few days, you'll be home, we will enjoy the summer and if you really want to, I can give you chocolate from time to time."

"Shut up," Draco said, making Pansy laugh. But she was right. Soon, they would be out of this castle. This year had been really long and he was glad it was over. But at the same time... He still needed to do something that would make him feel good. "Hey, can you do me a favor?"

"Depends," Pansy said with a little smile, clearly still amused. "What is it?"

"There's this book, in my trunk. A French book. Could you bring it to me?"

"Ok, Random, will that be all?" Pansy asked as she stood up.

"Take a piece of parchment with it. And a quill. Then, when I'll be done with it, bring it discreetly to Granger for me," Draco said, not looking at Pansy but at the sweets that were still on the bed.

"I'm sorry, what?" Pansy asked, a bit taken aback. Draco smiled innocently as he looked at her.

"Now, I'm not going to talk to her directly, what do you think others will think? Just... Give her the book when I tell you so, ok?"

"What do you need to talk to her for?" Pansy asked, curious. She knew Draco was more than serious about Granger since he had admitted his feelings out loud, but she didn't think he would still want to talk to her directly after what had happened.

"Well, she helped me, didn't she? I have to thank her, I mean... I don't know about your parents, but mine taught me manners," Draco said. Pansy tilted her head as she narrowed her eyes.

"Oh, so I guess I will have to give a book to Potter too?" She asked sarcastically.

"Ha, ha, ha, very funny. I'm a gentleman, not a hopeless case."

"Alright, then," Pansy finally said, a bit annoyed but not about to say no. "Will his Majesty need something else?"

"Please."

"That's better."

                                                                              ○

Hermione was in the library, hoping that Draco would show up. She still had his note in her hand, her fist clenched hard around it as she was staring at the book Pansy had slipped to her. She couldn't believe that Pansy was actually doing this for Draco and she even thought that it might be a trap, just for Pansy to humiliate her or something. To show her friends that Hermione wanted to see Draco and that she was falling for this kind of things. But, thinking about it, how would Pansy have known for the book? It was the one she and Draco had been talking about back in January, there was no chance he had told her about that. Unless, like Harry had thought when he had discovered the both of them talking, Draco had planned it all since the beginning just to mess with her.

But Hermione was sure it wasn't the case. She told Ginny about the note and, excited, her friend had told Hermione that she absolutely had to go, that it might be the last time they would be able to talk together that year. Somehow, Hermione had felt better, knowing that she wasn't crazy by wanting to go, and she left the common room with a little smile on her lips the next day. She was glad that Draco was able to leave the hospital and enjoy the rest of his days in the castle before having to go back home. She didn't tell Harry and Ron about that, afraid that they might annoy him. Even if they had told her they wouldn't tell Draco's secret, she couldn't help but fear they might taunt him with it.

In the library, Hermione was so lost in her thoughts that she didn't notice him. She almost jumped with surprise when she saw Draco standing next to her chair. She didn't know for how long he had been there, but she was happy to see him. Still, she didn't exactly show it. She gave him a shy smile and stood up uselessly before she sat down again. Draco bit his lower lip, trying not to smile, and it only made Hermione blush a little as she looked at the book that was still on the table, her heart beating faster.

"I'm not bothering you, am I?" Draco asked. Hermione didn't expect for his voice to sound like that. The last time she had heard him, he had been hoarse and not looking so handsome. Now, he was well dressed, clean, and maybe Hermione was imagining it but he was smelling good. Or maybe it was just because wasn't smelling like the blood he had had on him anymore.  

"No, not at all," she directly said, coming back to her senses as she looked at him, biting her lip from the inside of her mouth. Draco wanted to smile again, just seeing her with his own book, but he didn't.

"Good. I wanted to talk about... about what happened, is that ok?" Hermione had never seen him so polite. She nodded.

"Of course it is," she said a bit too quickly. She gave him another shy smile before she glanced at the seat next to her. Draco took it as an invitation and sat down.

After a few second of an awkward silence, he cleared his throat.

"I never had the chance to thank you properly for... what happened," he finally said, staring at his book not to meet her eyes, or just not to look at her again. Hermione raised her eyebrows, taken aback. She shook her head.

"It's fine, you don't have to, it's normal. I'm sure you-" She didn't know if he would have done the same for her. "I'm just glad you're fine. You're fine, right?" Draco glanced at her before he smiled awkwardly. It looked more like a grimace and Hermione almost laughed. He clearly wasn't used to show this side of himself, he was so awkward. But she was too. He then licked his lips before he cleared his throat again.

"Yeah, I... I'm doing better, see, already back on my feet," he said. Madam Pomfrey had been able to totally heal his feet, so that was something already. No trace of bruises from his night out were visible anymore there and he could stand properly. His other injuries were still hurting but he didn't want to complain. Not about that. Plus, Hermione seemed relieved to hear that he really was fine, and he liked seeing her face like that. "So, you... You knew about me, huh?" he asked.

"Yes, I did," she confessed, looking down for a second like she had been caught doing something bad. "It's... I wrote that essay for Professor Snape and I just... figured it out," she explained. Draco clenched his jaw and looked down for a second. He didn't really want to hear about Snape at that point, not for now, he was still too mad at him.

"That long, huh?" He said without expecting any answer. He glanced at her before he opened his mouth. Nothing came out. He looked away again, trying to find the right words and then he met her eyes. He couldn't help but think that she had seen his other form. Draco wasn't used to other people seeing him like this, not even his parents. Just thinking about them knowing what he looked like was disgusting him. He had had to accommodate for Lupin but it had been different, since he had to turn too, since he knew what it was like, since he knew how Draco must be feeling like. He didn't look at Hermione when he asked his next question. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I was afraid," she said and, seeing him becoming a bit tense, she quickly explained what she had meant by that. "We weren't talking... like we do, at the time. I was afraid you would react badly if I had told you. I wasn't... afraid."

Draco nodded without purpose and thought really carefully about what to say.

"You were right. I mean, I wouldn't have been happy..." He said, frowning a little as he stared at the table.

"Are you mad at me?" Hermione asked.

"How could I be mad?" He asked, looking at her. "You... helped me, I don't know what I would have done if I had woken up there alone..." It was the first time he was really talking about it with someone. Even with Pansy, he had avoided talking too much about it, he had just explained what had happened without going into the details. But Hermione had seen him that night and even if it was truly terrifying for Draco, he knew that he could talk more easily with her thanks to that.

"Well, I don't know if you remember but... you helped me too, that night," she said, talking about what had happened with Lupin. Draco directly looked away. He didn't feel like he had saved them. He had attacked Lupin but he had been about to attack them too and he was sure Hermione knew that.

"You and Lupin keep telling that but... I didn't really save you or anything, it was just..." He began, a bit embarrassed.

"Luck?" Hermione asked to help him. With a little smirk, Draco leaned a bit on his seat.

"It you can even call it that," he said.

"I need to write the date somewhere. I can't believe this is the day Draco Malfoy refuses to be seen as a savior," Hermione said as she tilted her head, an amused smile or her lips. She was making it easier. Draco realized it now, it wasn't because she had seen him. It wasn't because she knew. She was just making it easier because it was easy to talk to her, to be around her.

"I just don't want you to see me as someone I'm not," he said. Even he noticed that he had been speaking lower. Hermione didn't show her reaction, if she had had one. At least, Draco wasn't able to see it. But at this instant, Hermione just wanted to tell him how she was feeling. She just wanted to take his hand, or to make him smile, or laugh, or whatever, she just wanted to keep him around that day. Or maybe for longer. She wanted to spend more time with him, even more than before, but she just wanted him to know that. To know that she liked having him around.

"You didn't mind letting me think you were a jerk until this year..." She said with the same little smile as before, still trying not to show anything. Draco smirked.

"It's no news that people make mistakes sometimes, even I do, can you imagine?" he said. This time, her smile became a bit larger and it pleased Draco. He wanted the same, after all. "So, you know, if you don't care about me being... Anyway, maybe, we could... Keep talking. Next year. Or even during the holidays, you know, I have an owl. But you knew that," he said, clearly a bit more uncomfortable. He cleared his throat as he glanced at her. "Because... You don't care, right?" He asked, just to be sure.

"Why would I?" Hermione asked after a second she had used to stare at Draco. "You didn't ask for this, did you?" She smiled when he looked at her. "Well, you're still the same. I've always known you this way, I just wasn't aware of the situation. You're not another person," she said. Draco clenched his jaw again as he felt his lips curling up. He didn't want to show too many emotions. He didn't want to show her how happy this was making him feel. He wasn't used to this, he didn't think she would react this way. That she wouldn't really care. That it wouldn't make any difference. "I mean, you're a bit different, obviously. You're nicer, this year. Nicer and..." She didn't finish her sentence, she just smiled at him. Draco met her eyes and couldn't help but smile back, not knowing what to say.

Hermione blinked. Here it was, the smile she had been waiting for. A genuine smile, just showing that he was ok, that he wasn't mocking anyone or thinking of himself as superior. It gave her the feeling that they were close, or at least closer. Close enough to share this kind of painless smile. It was a soft smile, showing that despite what he had lived, that despite his tired eyes, at that exact moment, he was feeling good.

"You helped with that too. I mean, you're really not that bad yourself," Draco said and Hermione chuckled. She laughed and his heart skipped a beat. She laughed and he felt a weird feeling in his stomach. She laughed and a heat wave went through his whole body, making his heart beat even faster. She laughed and he wanted to smile and tell her that she was really pretty. She laughed and when she smiled, he straightened up on his seat to have a better view.

"But you know who you are. You don't need me to tell you kind things to know it, right? So... since when did my opinion start to matter?" She asked and Draco swallowed, feeling his heart sinking when she smiled shyly again.

"Since you've started to matter," he let out quietly, surprising both himself and Hermione. She looked confused, like she didn't know what to say. He noticed her lips twitch like she was about to say something, but she looked down for a second before she met his eyes again, her cheeks being more pink than usual. Draco blinked and after another second, he leaned forwards.

The contact had been soft, despite being a bit clumsy. Not too long, nor too hard. It had been too spontaneous for Hermione to react, she actually only really realized what had happened when he broke the kiss, slowly moving his head backwards as he opened his eyes before he met hers. He seemed a bit confused too, like he hadn't wanted it to happen this way, without her being ready or anything. But he wasn't regretting it either. His heart was beating fast, ready to explode, and his body was burning as he tried to see what she was thinking in her eyes.

After a few seconds of an unbearable silence, Draco, still looking right into her eyes, talked.

"I meant that," he said calmly and quietly. "I really did."

Hermione wasn't doubting it. She was doubting the fact that she was awake, actually. Since she had realized her feelings for Draco, she had had only one dream about something like that, but they had just been holding hands. Then, Pansy had pushed her down the stairs and Harry and Ron had laughed. Not really a good dream, but she had caught herself thinking a lot about the holding hands part of it. As well as she had started to imagine what it would be like to really date Draco Malfoy. But never had she thought that one day, this opportunity would actually exist. She already felt like it was a miracle for him to talk to her, but having feelings for her too?

Draco didn't know what to do. At least, she hadn't totally rejected him. That was a good sign, right? He knew he had been horrible with her the year before, but he had changed a lot since then. Like Lupin had said, he had grown up. Maybe it was because he had realized that Hermione had always been a better person than anyone he knew or that he ever was. Because she was accepting, forgiving, kind and trustworthy. Also because even without knowing his secret, she had been able to see past his flaws. She was the one who had started to talk to him, even after all the mean things he had told her. He didn't mind hurting her at the time, because he was more selfish, because he was trying to prove himself that he was better, because he was lying to himself. But this year at Hogwarts had changed him. Maybe it was thanks to Lupin, because he had made him open his eyes about a lot of things, as well as he had made him talk more about his feelings. About those feelings he was always repressing. Maybe having someone to listen to the things he couldn't tell to anyone else, to understand him like no one had something to do with his change. Maybe it was thanks to Pansy, she was the first one to make him actually talk about his feelings for Hermione. It didn't matter if Lupin had noticed at some point, because Pansy knew first. Because she had always noticed everything. Maybe having her discover his secret had helped him. The fear and the anger he had felt during those moments had been hard to handle, but it had helped him when he had to face Potter and Granger in the Forest.

Maybe it was because he was like his father. Because he had realized that he wanted to be with Hermione, so he had to at least try.

Or maybe it was because of her smile, because it was making him forget about his problems, about his anxiety and his affliction. Because when she was smiling like she was doing at that very moment, his heart was beating very fast and his body was becoming warmer and he wanted to smile too because nothing mattered more than sharing her joy. Because it was making her wrinkle her nose a little, and her eyes were sparkling. And she didn't seem to care about anything.

And Draco wanted to stop caring about everything. He blinked when he felt her fingers on his hand and he looked down. He swallowed as he slowly interlaced his fingers with hers before he looked at her face again. When he did, he saw her approach and he closed his eyes as he felt her lips against his once again. But this time, she was kissing him. It was as innocent as the first one, but Draco was able to kiss back. They were timid, it was short and soft and they both liked it. And Draco liked seeing Hermione so shy as she looked at him again.

"I meant that too."