#People are acting like Ogre got ill on purpose

[testure-1988]

The level of entitlement in the Skinny Puppy reddit right now.

[duhragonball]

Hellsing Liveblog Ch. 51-56

This is the “Seras Coming of Age” part of Hellsing, but the chapters are all one-off titles: “Last Mission”, “Get Away”, “Yaksa”, “The Man I Love”, “Ogre Battle”, and “Angelous,”

Last time, Zorin Blitz’s company invaded the Hellsing HQ, and Seras managed to kill them all except for Zorin herself, and then she used her psychic whammy, forcing Seras to relive some traumatic moment.   We saw one of the Wild Geese get this same treatment, and he briefly saw his dead daughter before Zorin killed him.  As for Seras, she relives the deaths of her parents.   Years ago, two guys barged into their home and shot them.   The circumstances aren’t entirely clear, but they must have had some forewarning, since Seras’ mom hid her in a closet and told her not to come out no matter what.   But when she saw what they did to them, Seras became so enraged that she attackedthe men and stabbed one in the eye with a fork.  

The other guy shot Seras, and while she must have survived, she remembers laying on the floor as the guy she stabbed decides to rape her mother.   I’m not even sure “rape” is the right word, since she was already dead, but the guy doesn’t care because the body is “still warm.”   You’d think he’d be too upset about losing an eye, but maybe he’s high on cocaine or something.

I don’t think you need me to tell you this, gentle reader, but hol-ee shit this dark.   We knew Seras’ parents died when she was young, and it wouldn’t be hard to speculate that they died in some violent crime, but Seras watched it happen, and she stabbed a dude in the face, only to get shot herself, and she watched her mother’s body getting molested before she passed out.  

And this gives us some insight into what Alucard saw in her that night in Cheddar.  There, Seras was surrounded by ghouls, many of them her comrades in the police department, and a vampire who promised to rape her before drinking her blood.   Alucard found it remarkable how she persevered in this horror, but now we see that may not even be the worst thing that ever happened to her.  It’s not even the first time she got shot!  

And from the earlier flashback we saw, Seras was hellbound to become a police officer like her father.  After a trauma like this, it’s amazing that she’d want anything to do with the police, since those men killed her father for digging “too deep” into whatever they were involved in.  But Seras quietly, defiantly chose to follow in her father’s footsteps, only to suffer a similar fate. 

Because, let’s not forget, Seras is dead.   She died in Cheddar, because Alucard had to shoot through her to kill the vampire who had taken her hostage.   Then she agreed to become a vampire like him, and join the Hellsing Organization.   Once more, she has quietly, defiantly, chosen to carry on in this life of public service.  

But none of that matters to Zorin Blitz.   She just wanted to dredge up all this trauma to keep Seras preoccupied long enough for Zorin to do this...

Oh, also she lopped off Seras’ left arm, but I liked this impalement panel better. 

On top of that, Zorin slashes Seras’ eyes, which was pretty gruesome and shocking.   When I started watching the Hellsing Ultimate OVA, I couldn’t wait to see what happened next, so I trawled YouTube for clips of Seras, so I had a pretty good idea where the character was headed, and noticed that late-story Seras was missing a left arm.   So Zorin cutting it off didn’t surprise me much, but everything else she did to her was a surprise.

Then, just as Zorin seems to be ready to finish Seras off, Pip Bernadotte gets the drop on her and whacks her with the butt of his rifle.    Machine gun?   Semiautomatic?   I don’t know from guns.    He hits her with it, is my point.   Then he shoots her with a different gun to put the exclamation point on it.

There’s two other guys left in the Wild Geese, and they toss smoke grenades to cover Pip as he tries to carry Seras to safety, but he’s wounded, and then a Millennium soldier wakes up and shoots him in the thighs.   Was that guy playing possum?  The Geese take him out, and Pip even makes it back to them, but I’m not sure what good that does anybody.   Then Zorin gets back up and cuts him down with her scythe.    I don’t think she chops him in half or anything, but he’s not getting back up again, that’s for sure. 

Seras calls out to him, and he steals another kiss.   I guess he forgot about the last time, because he acts like he “finally” managed to do this.   Then he asks Seras to drink his blood, which will allow her to win.   I guess someone must have explained enough vampire lore to Pip for him to have figured this out.    Maybe Seras herself told him how it worked, which makes it doubly-meaningful for him to say this to her now.  

And Seras starts wailing with grief, before Zorin finally mocks her for it, calling Pip an insect.   I’ve seen a few people poke fun at this scene, because it’s kind of weird for Zorin to just stand by while Pip and Seras have this final moment together, but Zorin’s a sadist.   Much of what she’s done in these past several chapters has been about reveling in her enemies’ suffering.    She took her sweet time with Seras earlier, which was the only reason Pip managed to help her, and now she’s taking her sweet time again, like she’s enjoying this drama. 

So Zorin uses her psychic whammy again, but this time it doesn’t work on Seras.   Maybe because Seras is already in the middle of a terrible trauma in the here and now.   She couldn’t do anything to avenge her parents back then, and she was powerless against the Cheddar Priest, but this time?   This time she knows exactly what to do.

VENIT AEVUS ILLE, O MESSIAH, O MESSIAH

YUDULIYA-VELE YUDULIYA-VELE

EN ESE MOMENTO ZORIN BLITZ SINTIO EL VERDADERO TERROR.

So yeah, this rocks.    The anime version does this cool thing where all the blood soaks up into her clothes and stains them red.   Maybe the manga was going for the same thing, but it’s harder to tell in black and white.   I find it kind of strange how Seras’ eyes grow back, but her left arm does not.    I’m pretty sure she could reform her arm, but chooses not to.   Instead, she’s got this black ectoplasm-y thing, like the same black stuff that Alucard uses when he’s not holding back as much.

Then Seras starts slaughtering Zorin’s men.   Didn’t she already kill them all?  Yeah, but there’s more.   The anime tries to cover for this by having Zorin explain that some “late arrivals” showed up.  Well, they did have to enter the building single file to get past the mines, so it makes sense that Zorin would keep some in reserve in case there were more traps inside. 

Seras is my favorite character in this whole thing, and since these pages of her kickin’ ass speak for themselves, I guess I’ll talk about why I like her so much.    I’m pretty sure I saw a cosplay photo of her on tumblr, and I found the design intriguing.   She’s a vampire, but dressed in something like a military uniform, kind of like the “Bridge Bunnies” in Macross. I looked up Seras to find out what she was from, and I was like “Oh, Hellsing was the show Team Four Star has been abridging, I guess I need to watch that anyway so I can watch the Abridged version and get the jokes.”

Mostly, I just like the idea of a vampire with a very professional mentality, as opposed to the whole Lost Boys/What We Do in the Shadows/Buffy kind of aesthetic.    Not that there’s anything wrong with that, but we see that sort of thing all the time.   I’ve also seen a lot of “reluctant” vampires in my time.    Vampires who try to avoid doing any vampire stuff, or going about their business like the vampirism is just this inconvenient obstacle.   Hellsing presents this other option, where vampires like Alucard are used for the purpose of anti-vampire countermeasures.   He’s been turned into a weapon, but he’s basically just Dracula with a fresh coat of paint.   Seras is more firmly rooted in the concept.  Alucard was a vampire who became a sort of cop, and Seras is a cop who became a vampire. 

And while I liked the idea of Seras being like “Oh, well I didn’t want to be a vampire but I’ll try to make the best of it”, I quickly found out that she wasn’t just a cop with pointy teeth.   There’s moments where she can be scary and creepy too.   “Sir, yes sir, my Master.”  It sums her up very neatly.   This is a vampire who can be polite and respectful and professional, but she can also get very deep into the more horrific aspects of this thing.   She’s got layers.  Zorin Blitz tried to peel them back, and look how that’s working out for her.

Once the rank and file goons are dealt with, Seras goes after Blitz, and just wrecks her shit.   Blitz tries to punch Seras in the face and it does nothing.   Seras just bites all her fingers off and spits ‘em out.   Then she announces that she refuses to drink Zorin’s blood, not a single drop. This is important, because Seras was always reluctant to drink blood.  She said she feared that drinking blood would mean the end of something inside of her, but now she’s crossed that Rubicon.   One might suspect that she’d suddenly want to drink more blood, but no.  She drank Pip’s as a means to an end.   Zorin’s blood would serve no higher purpose, and I think there’s an implication that she doesn’t want to dishonor Pip’s sacrifice.  Desperate, Zorin tries to use her power on Seras a third time, and then this happens:

  Okay, so at first Zorin sees Seras’ memories, like before, but now there’s all this stuff from Pip’s memories, and then Warrant Officer Shrodinger, of all people, shows up.   Zorin is confused by this, but he explains that he’s “everywhere and nowhere,” which means he can appear in this psychic vision just as easily as he can teleport between Brazil and England.

Schrodinger is here to pass along a message from the Major.  See, Zorin disobeyed his orders, and he would normally punish her for this, but he and the Doctor are busy with a “most interesting toy”, so they’ll just leave it to Seras to take care of punishing Zorin.  

Yesterday, I think I figured out what Zorin’s disobedience was.    Before I was confused because she didn’t start attacking until Seras opened fire on her blimp, and that only happened because Seras was shooting at the rockets fired by the Major.   Everything that Zorin did afterwards could be considered a matter of self-defense, but therein lies the problem.    Namely, what was Zorin’s blimp doing in the line of fire to begin with?  

Because once Seras shot her down, everything Zorin did next was sort of her only option.   She pretty much had to attack the mansion, and brave its defenses, whatever those happened to be.   And the Major knew that this was a big unknown.   He warned Zorin about Seras Victoria and while he didn’t seem to know exactly what her abilities were, he regarded her as an “arch-enemy” on the same level as Alucard.  That’s why he wanted Zorin to hold off and wait for the rocket attack.   It was intended to probe the mansion’s defenses, and once it became clear that they had anti-aircraft guns, and that Seras was eagle-eyed enough to shoot down their rockets, then the Major could have ordered Zorin to find a different way.   

But instead she was too close and gave Seras a target, which precipitated everything else, up to and including this:

Yeah, Seras just drags Zorin across the walls until her whole head smears apart.   Cool!

With Zorin dead, Seras delcares her intention to take the fight to the enemy, and the last three Wild Geese salute her before she leaves.   One way or another, they realize that Pip has become a part of Seras now, and they pay their last respects to him through her. 

Then Seras flies toward London, using her left arm-thing to make cool bat wings.    And this is a good illustration of what Seras is all about.  Once, she might have been horrified at the thought of doing something like this, but now she sees it as a way to carry on with her duty.    This was what Alucard had been trying to get her to understand, but sometimes you just have to work these things out in your own way.   Seras is about utility, and now that she has a use for these vampiric powers, she’s finally prepared to embrace them as her own.

In London, Schrodinger reports back to the Major and informs him of Zorin Blitz’s death.  He’s not surprised, and even declares “our ruin has begun”.   Schrodinger points out that he’s leading everyone, friend and foe alike, into destruction, and the Major simply observes that this is war.   Millennium didn’t come to London to win, they came to London to fight.

Then the Ninth Crusade shows up.  Recall that, earlier, Enrico Maxwell organized a military response to deal with the Millennium invasion of London, but he hasn’t come here to save the civilian population.   Instead, he’s treating them as enemies, just like the Nazi vampires.    Somehow, there’s still living people in the city, and as dawn approaches, they see Maxwell’s helicopters putting off some sort of light show.  I don’t know what you call this, but the people on the ground think it’s angels, and then Maxwell orders his men to open fire.

I want to point out that the newly promoted Archbishop Maxwell is riding into this battle in a special truck with a glass box for him to sit in.   He’s surrounded by microphones so he can address his troops and the people below.   Also the truck is hanging from a helicopter.   It’s stupid and pointless and over-the-top, so naturally the Major is highly impressed with Maxwell’s style. 

[vallonde-laid-bare]

Something special for you all today.

I tend to map out most of my major encounter areas like this and post them after they’ve been conquered so my players can get a better mental picture of where they’ve been and the things they’ve done. This are in particular has some sentimental value to the group because this is where our first character death happened.

The scene: The party is exploring the personal library of a legendary wizard in an attempt to stop or at least slow the spread of a magical illness that has been plaguing a nearby town. They’ve stumbled upon some cultists who are taking advantage of an open planar gate to perform a ritual. The cult is one that the players have been dealing with since very early in the campaign, so there is already history here, and animosity on both sides.  The group had managed to discover that the illness affecting the town was being caused by open portals in the library releasing extra planar energy that’s acting almost like radiation to living creatures, mutating them or causing them to fall ill. They’d closed all of the portals in the complex and have traced the leaking energy to the final portal hidden in a cave system underneath the library proper. After fighting their way to the end of the tunnel system they realized that they weren’t the first ones when they were met with chanting voices. Hiding at the mouth of the cavern, they took a moment to observe the ritual which I was very proud of them for because they usually just rush dick first into every encounter regardless of context. The apparent leader of the cultists dropped her robes to the floor at the height of the ceremony and began slowly walking toward the portal as the chanting was reaching a crescendo. I had decided I would let everyone take one action before she made it to the gate, but I didn’t want to prompt them to do so and give away that this was an important moment so I played it cool and asked them what they were doing. The only character who decided to attempt to interfere was the kenku rogue who shot an arrow at the woman. Unfortunately he rolled poorly and the cultists were alerted to their presence, causing the woman to sprint toward the portal. She leapt through and the party readied themselves for a fight with the remaining 4 cultists.

This is where things started going downhill.

Soon, the portal ring began to tremble and everyone was all eyes and something began to emerge from the gate. A leg, thick, chitinous, and prodigious. Then a second, and a third as a massive body drags itself into the room. Within seconds, a massive insect-like creature was filling part of the room from floor to 15 ft ceiling, and it didn’t look friendly. The cultists apparently weren’t prepared for this and one of them began screaming at the sight of the monster. A bad move it would seem at the thing quickly honed in on the noise and made for them, stomping it’s heavy legs and neatly pulverizing the hapless cultists in seconds. You should have seen the look on the group’s faces, it was fantastic.  And so began a quick conversation amongst themselves about whether they were just going to get the fuck out of there and leave the town to its doom. Two of them wanted to bolt while three of them had vague ideas of some ill-defined plan, so the party became split while facing what was undoubtedly the most powerful enemy they’d yet to encounter. Ascertaining quickly that the creature was blind and was tracking them by sound and vibration, the kenku began a campaign of hit-and-run tactics with a bow to distract it while two of the others, a lizardfolk bloodhunter and a kitsune paladin, went to close the portal. Lucky for them, they succeeded, and the mission was complete. Unfortunately, they had to make a lot of noise to accomplish the task, and the bug-monster turned its attention to them.  It was at the point that the last two members of the group (half-orc tempest cleric and half-ogre fighter), who were still standing a little back from the entrance and contemplating leaving, decided to make their return. Together with the kenku they drew the creature’s attention away from the lizard and the fox and toward the entrance of the cavern which it actually started tearing open to allow it to get to the members of the group that were harassing it just out of reach. Desperate the be out of the room and reunite with the rest of the group in the relative safety of the tunnels beyond the cavern, lizard and fox came up with a second death-defying plan: They would weave between the pounding rear-legs and tearing fore-legs of the monster and then they could all gtfo. I ruled it would require either athletics or acrobatics to avoid being trampled and then an attack from the creature with disadvantage because it was still busy tearing away at the walls which were now almost sheared away enough for it to advance. The lizard made it, but the fox wasn’t so lucky. Ritsuko, our voice of reason and party leader, managed to artfully weave through the gauntlet of pistoning legs but was reduced to a smear on the cavern floor by a blind swing, and it was honestly a little emotional. Take his player’s word for it:

(Note: The players like the make fun of the names of the character and NPCs by purposely saying them wrong, so Ritsuko often got called ricotta. Group inside joke)

Even with this unfortunate death, the group still managed to lay the insect-monster low and mostly escape with their lives. The town was saved and the party got some loot and a great story out of it. As a DM, these are the moments I live for, getting to orchestrate and share in emotional moments with my friends and the friends they’ve created.

I know that was long and a bit rambling, and if you’ve made it this far I applaud your diligence in deciphering my messy story telling. I know most of the people who follow this blog are here for the homebrew, but Vallonde is more than just its rules. Its the characters that exist in that world, the places they go, the things they do, and the people who play them. Players make the game, not the other way around, and I think that’s something that we as DMs forget too often.

[counttotwenty]

Bullet Points: Bumps in the Road

Ill Boding Patterns–part 4 (part 1-3 here, here and here)

Bullet points are encapsulated scene analysis from the top of each act to the bottom. (each act is bookended by a commercial break)

1. The establishing shot of this act is Rumple and Bae walking through murky water. There’s really nothing else that needs to be said about that except 

BOING!!!!!

2. It’s interesting in terms of blocking that as the scene opens Bae is in the lead. He’s the one, to this point, that has shown a seemingly unwavering faith in his father’s ability to defeat the monster without using dark magic. This blocking is a nice visual representation of that. He’s got the dagger at the ready prepared to do exactly as he promised and keep Rumple from embracing the darkness.

The problem though is that to this point Bae hasn’t witnessed a real threat. And unchallenged bravery is a very different thing that bravery that bravery in battle.

3. After they hear “Grendel” the blocking starts to change and Rumple moves in front. It’s a great way to show Bae’s confidence literally begin to slip. 

Well done!

4. As soon as Rumple came through the hanging vine curtain of revelation it was clear shit was about to go down.

Low light, spooky setting, unfamiliar circumstances and an unseen enemy all add up to bad news on the other side of any hanging obstacle. It’s the exterior equivalent of a basement door in a horror movie.

DON’T GO IN THERE!!!

BOING!!!!!!!!!!!

5. Another loud roar and Bae drops back even further. This might be a good time to start looking at other characters in this ep/arc exhibiting complete and utter confidence they’re on the right path to defeat a monster.

*cough*Gideon*cough*

6. Since I’m now settled in my seat, though not comfortable, on Retcon Airways, it’s interesting to note that the bellowing of the monster actually seems to embolden Rumple. 

And it’s fascinating that he takes a sword from one of the dead villagers to use as a weapon as opposed to beseeching Bae to return the dagger to him. Which judging from blocking alone Bae would do in a hot second.

7. RC does a brilliant job of showing the moment realizes he’s been had (after he blows the ogre’s call). 

So we see the reality of the opponent’s plan dawning on Rumple BEFORE it dawns on his son.

I have a feeling we may see that repeat itself fairly soon.

BOING!!!

8. “There never has been.”

Really brilliant piece of blocking having Rumple hand Bae the ogre’s call, the thing that made him realize the truth, on that line.

Sometimes the real opponent isn’t the monster you think it is.

Hmmmmmmmmm

9. Beowulf’s single minded quest to be a hero, and the belief it is his destiny, is almost as focused as Gideon’s.

BOING!!!!!

10. And just in case they weren’t clear about that we cut to Gideon.

It’s a clear compare/contrast though. Beowulf’s main purpose has always been to be hailed as hero for personal glory while Gideon is seeking to become a hero in order to achieve revenge and freedom for others.

It’s kind of a macro version of the whole identity thing they have going. 

Really nicely done.

11. Gideon’s willingness to shed the blood of an innocent is much like Beowulf killing the villagers. Collateral damage in pursuit of a larger goal.

12. It’s as informative to watch the comparison between Rumple’s reactions to being controlled in the two situations as it is to watch the confidence of the men controlling him.

His commitment to the idea of protecting his sons is almost as single minded as theirs to being heroes.

I mean there’s no leg room on this airline but since we’re here we might as well try to enjoy the view.

13. It’s very telling that they make a point of Gideon showing uncertainty at several points in this scene. Though he recovers every time and continues moving forward it’s true that there is clearly light in him as his father says.

Sometimes other people see you more clearly than you see yourself.

BOING!!!!!!

I’d bet all the money in my wallet right now this comes up again the Killian/Emma storyline moving forward.

14. At the top of the next scene we pan from the Leaving Storybrooke sign to Robin 2.0 standing with his back to the town line facing Storybrooke.

Heh.

Clearly this escape plan is going to fail.

Well shot!!

15. I think it’s actually a very sweet aspect of Zelena’s character that she carries baby Robyn everywhere as opposed to magic-ing up a stroller. Whatever else we can say about the character she clearly loves her daughter and wants to protect her.

It’s also interesting that she mentions going to New York ... while clutching the baby ... in case anyone forgot.

16. Since we see the EQ in her snake form sitting atop a pile of luggage I’d say it’s a pretty good bet she, and her human counterpart, are going to be traveling soon. They’re not long for that cage.

BOING!!!!!

17. I snorted for real at the fact that even when they want to do the good/sister bad sister thing with Regina and Zelena they can put Zelena in a black hat but can’t bring themselves to but Regina in a white one.

Heh.

18. Seriously, Regina, you need to stop trying to fit a square peg into a round hole. It’s getting embarrassing.

She really only wanted Robin 2.0 to have a fresh start if it involved making himself into a carbon copy of OR Robin.

This is where this scene ties nicely with the previous one. Gold sees who Gideon really is more clearly than Gideon sees it himself while the Regina/Robin 2.0 dynamic is completely opposite.

Despite her words to the contrary Regina still sees Robin 2.0 as OR Robin because that’s who she wants him to be.

19. Watch Regina and Zelena’s blocking as Robin 2.0 gets ready to pour the potion on the town line.

Beautiful!! And very representative of the way these two often dance around each other.

20. VERY telling framing that when we see Robin 2.0 pour the potion the cage is partially obscured but by the time Zelena approaches the the line it’s in plain view.

BOING!!!!!!

Go ahead. Lift the cover. I’ll bet she’s not in there anymore!

21. There’s no question that part of Regina’s reticence to let Robin 2.0 go out into a world he doesn’t understand is the memory of what happened when OR Robin went to the big city.

It would be hard to forget with the pink bundle in Zelena’s arms serving as a reminder.

This is another example of Regina blurring the line between Robins and this one is staged beautifully.

22. “I owe it to him. To you.” “Even if it means letting you walk out of here.”

She’s using Robin 2.0 as a proxy to let go of and say goodbye to OR Robin maybe I have a heart of stone but it’s just not working for me.

Next up--Do You Really Want To Do That?

[rock-and-compass]

Rock and Compass Watches Once Upon A Time – 6.13: Ill-boding Patterns

Overview

Killian struggles with the weight of the unfortunate discovery that he killed David’s father and the ramifications of telling Emma the bad news. Gold tries to reach out to Gideon and steer him towards a better path. A flashback to the past involving Balefire and Beowulf suggests that this won’t necessarily be an easy thing to do.

Discussion, thoughts & things that could be significant

Ill-boding patterns – The title of the episode literally invites us to look at the patterns being highlighted in the story. Rumple’s history with Beowulf and Baelfire inform his choices with Gideon. He tries the same memory potion spiked tea on both sons, he gives both his trust only to have it backfire, the sword Hrunting is important in both stories and in the end, Rumple does something dark to save his son from having to do it – once by force and once by choice.

To the first Ogre War - The flashback must take place very shortly after Rumple became the Dark One and before he turned into an overbearing tyrant who had the villagers terrified. Slim window of opportunity…

The Magic Sword – Beowulf’s sword, Hrunting, is the same one Emma found in Gold’s shop and the same one sought out by Gideon as the weapon with which he can defeat the Saviour. It is imbued with light magic and is said to be very powerful -  Although the sword doesn’t really live up to expectation on any of the occasions we’ve seen it in use, except for that one time when it injured the Evil Queen. Obviously the light magic in effect, but is that the reason it didn’t also injure Regina (as it should have – Jekyll and Hyde established that what harms one, harms the other). Maybe this sword is more judicious than a regular blade?

A Blue Creation – The sword was made by The Blue Fairy. My god does this woman have a long, long history! And why wouldn’t she have spoken up about the sword earlier? She’s a nun now, maybe she didn’t know about it. You’ve got to wonder why they don’t bring Blue into the inner circle a bit more; she knows a lot of stuff that could make all their lives easier.

Who so ever holds the …. Beowulf says that whoever wields Hrunting will be hailed a hero. Is this the basis of Gideon’s misguided belief - The legends that are attached to the sword? It is also interesting that in this story an external object is given the power to grant a heroic status, rather than the actions of the person using it.

Cowards vs Hero – so many comparisons of cowards and heroes throughout the episode and not just concerning Rumple and his sons. The opening scene concerns an unnamed piece of cannon fodder and his inclination to flee the battle. He is then inspired by the very tall, very imposing, very stereotypicaly hero Beowulf to be brave and fight. Cannon fodder ends up dead. His confidence in Beowulf’s confidence (in his sword) was misplaced yes, but it reinforces the idea that being brave doesn’t necessarily bring reward and more importantly, being brave is often not an easy choice. Both very important messages throughout the episode. Beowulf himself, seems like the picture of heroinism but we find out later that he is much more attached to the personal prestige of being a hero rather than the altruistic worth. He is devious and manipulative and resorts to some very cowardly acts to try to maintain his status – sometimes heroes are not what they seem and no amount of magic hardware can make them one.

That certain crutch – throughout the episode we see three examples of characters needing an external crutch to be a “hero” – For Rumple it is the dagger. It allows him to defeat the ogres and go from being the town coward to being a celebrated hero. Beowulf, who believes that his ownership of Hruting automatically entitles him to be considered a hero, and Gideon, who believes he needs the same sword to fulfil his destiny to be the saviour of the Dark Realm. In each case, the person’s faith in the object is misplaced; being a hero is about internal choices and actions and by choosing to do the right thing rather than the easy thing. Yep that message is really getting smashed home isn’t it.

Finding courage - Killian too is drinking to try and find some courage, although to be fair, I don’t think his mid-morning tipple is so much about courage as it is about processing what he’s learnt about himself. He’s processing what it means for him and for the people he is closest to – Emma and her family. He knows he’s got to tell Emma, even though he could just keep his mouth shut and noone would be none the wiser, but this is never really a viable option for him. When, at the end of the episode, Hook throws back that final shot and goes home he is clearly resolute about telling Emma the truth because it is the right thing to do. Killian Jones has never been a coward and so for him it’s not really a coward vs bravery thing, it’s more that sometimes doing the right thing takes bravery, particularly if there is an easy way or a short cut on offer…

A safe secret? – Killian thinks that no other living soul knows the truth of his murder of David’s dad. So naturally this means that someone else knows. Regina must know; The EQ gave David the coin. But who else might know? And if Killian doesn’t come clean about it, who will be the one to spill the beans? 

The Black Fairy – Rumple makes such a point about her being ‘trapped in another realm’ that it’s clear that she is going to appear sooner rather than later. Where is she trapped? And why is she trapped? Is it just the limits of inter-realm travel? How did she get through to steal baby Gideon? And who is going to help her gain entry into Storybrooke. The Wish Realm is looking awfully suspicious right about now – like some sort of key to unlock passage? Fake Robin – FRobin is also looking pretty suspicious with his attempts to open the town line, and his suspicious comments about not liking children and having a partner in crime who is competent with magic….

Retconning Rumple – While the flashback slots neatly into a slim window of opportunity in Rumple’s backstory, it does add a noble layer to Rumple’s darkness that is not as easy to accept given what we already know about him. In this new addition to the story, Rumple is already enamoured with the power of the dagger but not necessarily completely under its spell. He likes it, he wants to use it but with persuasion from Bae he is convinced to forego it. He voluntarily hands the dagger over to his son – something I don’t think we’ve ever seen him do again. Balefire cops it big time in this flashback to prop up the revisions to Rumple’s story – He becomes something of a hypocrite, particularly after taking such an anti-magic stance and clearly positioning himself as Rumple’s moral superior,  when he commands his father to kill Beowulf and then begins to consider the possible benefits of having a tame Dark One at his beck and call. Rumples use of the memory potion to restore Bae’s innocence is done out of lov,  but is it necessarily right to mess with a person’s mind like that? The price for the intervention is large; it sets his relationship with Baelfire on a very specific course – cements the dagger as a point of contention between father and son that is never overcome and really, leads to the Dark Curse and Storybrooke and where we are today. I will concede that this addition to the story actually provides some textual scaffolding to Neal and his inherent weaknesses and his willingness to use very dark magic to resurrect Rumple as a means to getting back to Henry.

Who’s got the dagger – There is a lot of dagger swapping in this episode! It’s a timely reminder of the power of the dagger. I still think we are ripe for a change in Dark One (particulalry if Robert Carlyle is leaving the show).  

A young master – Gideon’s magic is strong. He should be a formidable opponent and yet somehow, I just can’t take him seriously… and I keep thinking why isn’t Belle the one trying to help him? She is clearly a soft spot for him and is going to be more successful than Rumple in reaching him. Despite my finding Gideon unconvincing, he is written incredibly ruthless. He is prepared to harm his godmother to get what he wants, he is clearly willing to kill Emma to achieve his purpose. though I can’t help but think that all the efforts to protect his soul from corruption are too late? The intent is already there. You need darkness to make these terrible decisions in the first place – surely his heart is already spotty? I don’t think Rumple can ‘save’ his son; Gideon needs to choose a better path for himself. Isn’t that the point. 

A box of potions – this box of black potions could have many uses, many possible concoctions. I wonder if we’ll see more of its uses than just the sucking magic spell.

Inside Regina’s wardrobe – Very interesting costuming for Regina – A red pantsuit, (classic early Regina) covered by a very light beige trench-coat and hat. Have we ever seen Regina wear something this close to white before while in Storybrooke? It just strikes me as odd, for a woman so frequently in black. Is it to be taken as a sign of her authentic change?  While wearing the coat she is all about doing the right thing – she wants to help Frobin - she’ll even help him get out of Storybrooke if that’s what he truly wants. That being said, I still find her response to Frobin really weird – she seems to flip-flop between accepting that he not Robin Hood and yet still hoping that she can still somehow force the transformation. Most inexplicable is her assertion that meeting Frobin in the Wish World was some kind of test, that was meant to see if she can move foreward with her life… if this was the case, then wouldn’t meeting Snow and Charming in the Wish Realm have been a test to see if she could like, maybe not kill them? She really does have an impeccable knack at making everything about her. I liked that when she was talking to Zelena they were both dressed in singular colours – Green for Zelena (for her “wickedness”) and Red for Regina – the red is so interesting when used in conjunction with Zelena because it really plays with the allusion to apples and reminds us of Regina’s fondness for red apples and the fact that they were frequently her weapon of choice. And I still haven’t forgotten that the colour of magic used by the robed figure in Emma’s original vision was red. Yup I’m still suspicious.  Okay, sure, when she’s discussing the Evil Queen with her sister she does have the decency to own that she is responsible for the Evil Queen’s past actions, but she also maintains a certain degree of separation – a “her and me” mentality because they are separate. Plus she still cultivates that deep persecution complex where everything that happens is somehow all designed to rob her of happiness. And until she starts wearing her past and doing constructive things to make up for it, beyond hoping for personal gain, I’m not buying any depth of change.

Resistance is futile - Once you give in to the darkness it’s almost impossible to resist. Hmmm, I can think of a couple of people who did resist it but that’s not the point.  The point is that those who use Dark Power find it difficult to stop doing so. Is that why Hook’s redemption is so much more convincing than Regina’s? Because he is not a slave to dark power and is actively making the choice to change? Whereas Regina, who has used Dark power to get what she wants for so long is like an addict going cold turkey. How long will she stay on the wagon? Rumple of course is a functional addict. He fully admits his need for power and has no intention to give it up.

Bullseye – Frobin suggests that Zelena has a “target on her back”. The comment comes out of nowhere and seems to have no substance so I’m thinking we are perhaps supposed to take this as foreshadowing? Ill-boding pattern indeed.

Hard way vs Easy way – Rumple’s story is an exploration of the choice. Bae encourages the hard way (defeating Grendal without magic) but ends up using the easy path of dark power to kill Beowulf. And he also chooses the easy/hard way (depending on how you look at it) when he chooses to help Gideon by usurping the Blue Fairy’s magic to reforge the sword. It’s an odd one; I get that he does it to help his son avoid darkness (which  is a debatable topic in iself) but he willingly drains Blue of her magic. Why is Gideon’s need greater than hers?  And of course, you could argue that Gideon needs to make his own decisions – even if they are bad. He’s a grown man. He shouldn’t need the cotton wool.  We also get reminded that Regina took the easy way to redemption with her split personality – rather than work through her dark urges, she decided to cleave them away from her.   And we also see Killian succumb to temptation and take the easy way of not telling Emma the truth about his past before he proposes to Emma. None of these ‘easy ways’ is going to turn out well, that’s not the lesson from this show (and I stand by this expectation even in the light of today’s developments with Regina and her other half!)

Think again – Before Blue is drained of her magic she outright tells Gideon that “killing Emma with that blade won’t make you the saviour you think.” It sounds like Blue, who did make this sword, knows what she’s talking about. It’s clearly a warning that all of this is not what any of them thinks. Twist coming.

The Proposal – Killian is obvious in his intention to tell Emma the truth when he first arrives home. But Emma inadvertently finding the engagement ring makes him veer off course somewhat.   For the life of me I can’t work out why they wouldn’t have shown Emma finding the ring! It would have only been a short scene, it would have tied the two ends of the story together beautifully – Show, don’t tell, isn’t that the first rule of writing? Hook’s desire to confess the crime is mistaken for endearing nervousness and uncertainty. She makes the proposal easy for him, reassures him of her feelings and lets him know that she will say yes. It’s understandable that he got caught up in the moment and pops the question; the woman he loves wants to marry him, she handed him the freaking ring! The beautiful bittersweet rendition of the Captain Swan theme acts as a warning that this is not as nearly settled as it seems. Hook’s expression as he and Emma hug is the real kicker though; he knows he’s made a mistake and it won’t be easy to just live with it – and that truth is going to get out the only question is how. Will Killian come clean and admit the truth by his own volition or will someone else force confession? Either way, angsty times ahead for Captain Swan.  

[galimatios]

t/a rambles 1

back on my bullshit part 1

... should look into the tactics ogre games for novel inspo bc my novel is also a political drama ... UNINTENTIONALLY actually id call it a coming of age story in rhe new adult genre since mc is probably 23-25 i have so many feelings about the novel ugh i love my ocs so much and i put them all om opposing sides for this novel the most complex relationship i have in it i think is alex and his mother or rather prince kreutzer in this au queen elaine and her son prince kreutzer .. god its so fucked up bc kreutzer loves his mother- he was largely isolated as a child and his mother was always so loving and sweet and they were so so close but the prince never knew of the shit his mother did as queen she is a tyrant she must have lost a child once. a princess, i think probably to the king who she may have ... overthrew or usurped maybe but regardless of that shes in power now and because she lost a child she became overly protective of kreu and consolidated her power heard of a plot to infiltrate her kingdom and assassinate the son of the previous tyrant king (?) and she just fucking ruled with an iron fist because she has so little trust in the goodness of people that she thinks the only way to achieve good is to force it and as a result she kills anyone who steps out of line thus making the people resent her deeply but to kreutzer shes his mother his loving and doting mother who does all she can to protect him the novel actually starts um after the queen is assassinated h a its not her story but shes a big part of it even after her death bc a big portion of the theme is like coming to terms with the complexity of individuals no one is all good or all bad and kreu starts out unable to understand this he has a very black and white view of moralitt like his mother at the beginning on his coronation day theres an assassination attempt made on him but he gets whisked away by the court jester after that a coup is staged and rebels take over the country and the prince is forced to hide with a traveling circus that the jester brings him to where every performer... is a fugitive or criminal! and thats where his personal growth really begins bc he learns abt these people and realizes his world view was wrong people are complex people do bad things... for just reasons and vice versa esp Keith who makes a major appearance in the novel his entire bg story takes place outside the novel as well hahaha but its a lot after a raid on his village, hes orphaned along w his little sister who is ill so to make ends meet / buy medicine he does literally every fucking crime under the sun starting off with petty theft and scaling up to murder literally sacrificing every last shred of innocence he has for the sake of his ailing sister who... dies anyway! and im thinking, tbh, its a fantine/cosette/thenardiers type sitch where this quack doctor is basically scamming him except instead of fantine dying cosette does anyway thats where he fucking hits rock bottom he could handle things as long as he had someone to fight for you know he was alright with it bc his sister was there, his saving grace but when she dies hes all alone thats probably when lydia finds him i imagine he would he on the verge of suicide or at the very least dying of self imposed starvation and neglect but honestly probably suicide julie's death on top of the crushinf weight of all the crimes hes committed the innocence he lost, the lives he took its just way too much and hes just a naive kid lydia finds him and takes him back to the circus takes care of him gives him food and water and shelter and slowly tries to reach him slowly teaching him that there is still life to be lived that he is so young, and it is far too soon for him to lay down and die that he should live for his dead family, because that is what they would want to keep their memory alive in his heart and he begins to come around slowly starts doing chores for the troup then he finally sees one of their performances acrobats and the trapeze and the glitz and the glamor its the first time in years where he ... wasnt thinking about his dead sister or his trauma he asks lydia to teach him how to "do that" he says while pointing at the stage and so she does and ever since then hes taken up performing full time as a .. daredevil type act doing outrageously dangerous things for the thrill of it it excites him, the risk he loves to see how close to the edge of death he can walk without falling and it fuels him makes him enjoy being alive again and he's.. happy god by the time you meet keith in the novel he's just this happy go lucky teen with this smugness about him a kind of dangerousness belying a sweet exterior he's all jokes and laughs at this point and you'd never be able to tell what he went thru at first glance or at all really bc honestly, at this point he honest to god is okay lies and dirt - Last Thursday at 6:00 AM he... doesnt need anyone's pity. he doesn't need anything but the feeling of being alive now and one of the major points of the novel is prince kreu's relationship with him... bc at first they really clash and kreu is just... he's a fucking criminal and all of then deserve to hang keith plays this off w jokes at first but kreu keeps being antagonistic bc he just cant believe a criminal like him is getting away without punishment but then one day keith snaps at him knife to the prince's throat dangerous, cat like eyes, the usual smile on his face no where to be found you're right. i'm a thief. a liar. a criminal. a murderer. i'm all those things. but i'll tell you one thing, prince: i'm not worthless. he pulls the knife away and walks off leaving the prince stunned after this lydia talks to kreu explaining that maybe he shouldn't judge keith so quickly hinting that the circumstances of his life were... not ideal when i first found him, he was already half dead. perhaps not physically, but in the eyes. you could see the reaper in them. hhmgmgn i need to think more abt the circumstances around this scene ah keith must have been looking for a good place to die

the music from the circus reminded him of better days, when he played songs with his family. i imagine him.. outside the tent, somewhere obscured and there's music flowing from its interior... he's tired. he sits down against a barrel and he's been starving, exhausted... letting sleep take him away on the songs from the circus back to a time he used to be happy...

lydia fines him and shakes him but his eyes look glassy and he's unresponsive

he's taken poison must have been something from his former days working as an assassin something he saved for himself just in case and that's when lydia takes him in and nurses him back to health she's a water mage w healing capabilities so she's able to do it and i imagine at first keith is hurt, angry why am i still alive? i im fucking myself up in the feels i hate this THIS ISNT EBEN IN THE FUCKINF BOOK IT ALL HAPPENS BEFORE IT KEITJS NOT THE MAIN CHARACTER HERE BUT IM SO FUCKED UP ugh after kreutzer learns a bit abt keiiths origins he actually thinks a lot. and tries to make amends. apologizes to keith who doesnt say anything much he's sitting, eyes away from the prince, fiddling with the knives he uses for his performances

"a raid took my parents away. illness took away my sister."

"i did a lot of things for money. most of it i'm not proud of. but i would have done anything to save her... you know?"

"you've got someone you love too, don't you?" kreutzer thinks of his mother. the surrogate brother who disappeared on him and never returned "i do." "then, you get it." after this they start to really bond almost as siblings.. which is really funny bc kreutzer doesnt need to be protective of keith keith can MORE THAN take care of himself but its new for kreutzer to feel.. responsibility for someone else like this he was always the one protected before keith laughs at this a lot what're you trying to do? be my big bro? but secretly he ...really likes having family again as idiotic as kreutzer is ofc lydia has always been there for him but as a surrogate mother an older sib is new and.. kind of nice in canon modern au they really are basically bros LOL actually cousins via mothers but alex/kreu goes to live w keiths family after his mom (lain) dies so they essentially grow up like brothers i didn't even get started w the fucking mess that is alan and kreutzer alan goes by calisto also and he hes the court jester but he was trained from a young age as a snake in the kings court he was supposed to kill the prince when the time was right but alan and his dumb fucking gay ass FALLS IN LOVE WITH HIM INSTEAD spoiler alert: its unrequited btwn alex and alan is NEVER requited in ALL aus its because alan ... doesnt love himself at all. he has no sense of... purpose or identity alex can never love someone like that but either way he becomes the prince's personal servant and entertainer and this idiot falls for him the naivete he displays, the timid stateliness, the unfitting title of prince bestowed on his shoulders- kreutzer is far too soft to be the leader of this kingdom and alan increasingly has the desire to protect him even as kreu grows older and more skilled in his studies there is always the anxious trepidation they also grow up together from around ages 11-present at the time of the novels start god alan loves him so much it hurts me but its so one sided alex loves cyrus in modern au ): alan could never be more than just a phase tbh poor guy alan and his low self esteem and depression the worst part of this thougg is that because alan feels aimless and without purpose when he falls for kreutzer he ... finally has his OWN cause to fight for and he takes it to the extreme betraying everyone that trusted him to do his job for the sake of a man who wont ever love him it bites him in the ass too bc i kill him off as a catalyst for other stuff h ahahahhahahahahahahaha not just kill him off but horribly because HE FUCKING BETRAYED HIS ENTIRE SIDE THEY ARE, UNDERSTANDABLY, PISSED Alan is so fuckong flawed hes a fuckinf mess and i love it ugh im thinkijg of another scene in the novel once kreutzer gets captured bt the coup rebels he actuallt submits himself voluntarily bc keith gets kidnapped and used as ransom keith tells him hes a fucking idiot keiths life doesnt matter dont fucking come for me! but kreu doesnt listen obviously and they torture kreutzer bc i love suffering and after that they make him listen in a mock trial to the testimonials of all the people hurt by his mother death to the queen! death to elaine of koel! all the horrible stories of lives unjustly cut short because of his mother it breaks him because he loves his mother so much but she's done all these horrible things he doesn't know what to do how to make amends the damage was done and he takes their wrath their scorn and anguish and i'm sorry as if sorry could ever fix anything but it is his burden to carry, his punishment to suffer in place of the queen ironically this makes lilya have a change of heart she was infiltrating the queens court just as alan did and she is directly responsible for her death her assassination, i think or the king's? either way shes part of the rebel forces and she DESPISES the queen good fucking riddance as far as she's concerned that woman made her life hell(edited) so she can rot in it for all lilya cares for but seeing kreutzer there bloodied tortured sobbing broken and taking the punishment doled out to him without so much as a word of protest(edited) she thinks... this... isnt right this is wrong. because kreutzer was not responsible for the sins of his mother as much as people want to blame him, take out their anger on him lilya was at first all gung ho about ending the royal bloodline lies and dirt - Last Thursday at 7:02 AM but she reconsiders this moment feels something tugging at her this isnt right

she remembers her sister back at the circus— lydia. who she always loved dearly but clashed with, leading to her abandoning the circus and joining the rebellion.

retribution is deserved, but should it be served? what then makes us different from our oppressors?

or sth like that so she rescues kreutzer takes him back to the circus. and reunites with her sister after so many years after that ik not entirely sure what to do w the novel LOL bc i know there has to he a big battle bc the rebellion forces begin to quell opposition like how the communist regime in other countries started in ernest bc people felt oppressed but then they went too far and started culling the middle class so then kreutzer leads his own rebellion force against them to take back the country then once he wins he uses his kinghood to dissolve the monarchy and embrace democracy instead asking lydia to lead hes much too tired to lead, and she is much better suited for it but hm inhabe to think more about that entire segment after this he takes over lydias spot in the circus as its owner and organizer and with keith he spends the rest of his days helping people just like keith also they properly mourn alans death it takes forever for kreu to come to terms w his mothers assassination and crimes he probably never truly works it out but he begins to be able to recognize that she is both the tyrant queen and his loving mother that they do not cancel eachother out, that they are not mutually exclusive they are one in the same UGH IM SO UPSET I WISH ID FUCKING WRITE THIS BC I WANT TO FUCKING READ IT the message i wanna convey is like people.. are complex, imperfect, and the systems they create are also subjected to that but everyone does things for a reason. no matter what that reason is and i want lydia to address this too when she becomes the new prime minister of koel a democracy is not perfect, because man is not perfect. there will be hardship, mistakes made along the way. but together we can grow, improve, and learn about one another— and better our society for it. and i believe anywhere injustice goes, justice will always follow(edited) sth like that ig