#Paul Putner

[in-love-with-movies]

Paris, I Love You (2006)

[screenshothaven]

Paris, je t'aime (2006)

[oots-digitalmedia]

Queer Rep in Wooden Overcoats

Title: Wooden Overcoats

    Status: Complete

    Cast: Belinda Lang, Felix Trench, Beth Eyre, Ciara Baxendale, Tom Crowley, Andy Secombe, Steve Hodson, Sean Baker, Alison Skilbeck, Elle Mcalpine, Paul Putner, Alana Rooss

    Queer Creators: Unknown

    Accessibility: Scripts available

Summary: RUDYARD FUNN runs a funeral home on the island of piffling.

It used to be the only one. It isn't anymore.

Rudyard Funn and his equally miserable sister Antigone run their family’s failing funeral parlour, where they get the body in the coffin in the ground on time. But one day they find everyone enjoying themselves at the funerals of a new competitor – the impossibly perfect Eric Chapman! With their dogsbody Georgie, and a mouse called Madeleine, the Funns are taking drastic steps to stay in business…

Tags: mlm couple, multiple wlw characters, queer character, asexual character, most characters bisexual,

More details and/or spoilers under the break.

Check out our other queer podcast recommendations here.

ID tags: Mayor Desmond Desmond: gay, Reverend Nigel Wavering: gay, Georgie: queer, Rudyard Funn: asexual, Georgie Crusoe: wlw, Jennifer Delacroix: wlw, Marlene Magdalena: wlw, Lady Templar: wlw

Details and/or Spoilers: Mayor Desmond Desmond and Reverend Nigel Wavering are a couple, wlw characters enter relationships, creator considers most characters bisexual

[gigsoupmusic]

INTERVIEW - MICKO WESTMORELAND ON 'VELVET GOLDMINE' AND LIFE WITH THE MELLOTRONICS

Micko Westmoreland first came to the public's attention as the enigmatic Jack Fairey in the star-studded glam rock fake biopic 'Velvet Goldmine', and since then has done everything from making electronica as The Bowling Green to the sharp edged new wave of his current project Micko & The Mellotronics. With that band on the verge of releasing their second single, a double A-side with the timely 'Noisy Neighbours 'and 'You Killed My Father' (featuring the late Neil Innes), he spoke to Gigsoup to tell all... Starting at the beginning, you got your first break appearing in the film ‘Velvet Goldmine’…  Quite a baptism of fire! Yep, I was fresh out of film school with little acting experience. So I did a ton of research, suspended all activities other than glam rock ones; late mornings, blurry eyeliner, became a kind of ‘Our Lady of the Flowers’, to quote Jean Genet. I did appear on set however with well prepared sleeve notes. Ziggy/Hunky and early Roxy had been teenage territory. Toni Colette really helped me during filming, showing me where and how to move and stand in frame etc. which I really wasn’t aware of and she was such a wonderful person to hang out with. Ewan McGregor was enormous in the 90s but treated you like a complete equal. I’ve acted the fiction of being a sensational rock star, my embalmed alter ego is now moth balled and hermetically sealed for posterity. What do you make of the film’s recent re-appraisal – it was panned at the time but now it’s considered a cult classic A lot of the film heavyweights liked it at the time and have consistently sung its praises over the last 20 years, which has contributed to its legacy, plus Todd Haynes is now seen as a 24-carat auteur. 1998 wasn’t ready for a kaleidoscopic pansexual odyssey. Velvet Goldmine truly tapped into a teenage hormonal feeling, so the audience is responsible for its longevity I think, people have grown old with it and new fans have discovered it. You had quite a lot of success making electronic music as The Bowling Green but then switched tack to making more song-based stuff.  What’s the story there? The music I was making was becoming increasingly filmic, so I moved into movie sound tracks for a while and did two film scores and a few documentaries with my brother; acclaimed director Wash Westmoreland (Still Alice, Colette). One of them, Echo Park L.A., won best drama at Sundance in 2006! I was becoming more attuned to a literary narrative and was listening to Dylan’s Time out of Mind and Beck’s Sea Change at the time – couple that with improvements in technology that weren’t so reliant on sampler and keyboard. I started playing much more guitar again, my first love and now my primary instrument for writing. You made a couple of albums under your own name but then formed Micko & The Mellotronics – your first ‘band’ project.  What was the thinking behind that move? I was very much used to working on my own. I made a couple of solo albums, one which Terry Edwards (P.J. Harvey/Holy Holy) released on his Sartorial label called ‘Wax & Wayne’, and ‘Yours Etc Abc’, on my own Landline records imprint, which I believe was the main unconscious projection into putting a live act together. The person doing PR for it asked, ‘Who’s in the band?’ When I realized I didn’t have one, it made sense to look for folk to start pushing sounds around. How would you sum up the band to someone you hadn’t heard you before?  Can you name us a few bands that have influenced its sound? We get compared to the Buzzcocks quite a lot, I’ll take that. I’ve loved Magazine since teenage, Television too. I also dig Serge Gainsbourg majorly and bands like The Silver Apples. I’m really into Iso Tomita, the 70’s electronic musician and of course Mr. Eno too. People have commented that the double A side, soon to be released, is like early Genesis but I think it’s much closer to The Rutles. Patrick from R.O.C. said there was violence to the sound. I do pride the writing on an intricacy and eccentricity but without getting prog about it. Talk us through the Mellotronics members and their individual flavours... Nick Mackay a friend referred me to. He was playing in a two-piece called ‘Barricades’, and was clearly a very good drummer, real flare as a player/performer and had the magic ingredient for any band – he was a thoroughly decent chap you could spend a ton of time with. Jon Klein is our very own rock star hiding in plain sight. He has a CV better than the rest of us put together: Banshees, Sinead O’Connor to name a few and of course his own band Specimen. I lent Jon my amp when we were on the same bill. I gave him a copy of my previous album and he contacted me the next day, which I considered a big thumbs up. He’s very quick, obscenely talented and has revolutionized day-to-day working practice. In short a turbo charged V12 engine has been carefully placed inside a Hillman imp, with fresh brake pads added. Vicky Carroll the bassist also came through personal referral, Haydn Hades who does stand up. At the time she was playing in a band the ‘Owls of Now’, a very bright lady indeed. She really got what the band was about and had great style. The dynamic of now the band get on and its chemistry is essential to longevity. Having a woman on board was important to us, so we really lucked out by finding such a smart cookie in Vicky. So far, you’ve shared ‘The Finger’, your first single, and now two new tracks, which will (eventually) be released as a 7” single.  Talk us through ‘Noisy Neighbors’ and ’You Killed My Father’. Noisy Neighbours came about from my experience with dealing with serial complainers whilst living in a housing co-op. We shot the video with filmmaker Ashley Jones (www.thechaoesengineers.com) in the next door location the inhabitants of the song were occupying, so we had to be quiet. Of course some complaints are genuine but most were more telling of the complainant than complainee. There are control issues, which come about as a result of trying to micromanage your environment beyond your own four walls. I wanted to make a witty statement about that without being over critical or condemning. Raising a single eyebrow over that type of behavior. ‘You Killed My Father’, the double A side was inspired by Neil Innes R.I.P. (Monty Python, Bonzo Dog, The Rutles). So of course I was thrilled when he agreed to play on it. I was introduced to him through an artist friend Harry Pye. We inadvertly created a supergroup together called the Spammed and meet up once a year to record for the Teenage Cancer Trust. Last session Tony Visconti produced a cover of Bolan’s ‘Get it on’, for us. It comprises, Rat Scabies (The Damned), Horace Panter (The Specials), Neil when he was with us and actor/comedian Kevin Eldon on vocs, I play guitar. The song relates to my childhood, growing up in Leeds and has a Shakespearean quality. I checked the prose with an expert to make sure I hadn’t over egged the pudding. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_5iswf8GG6o You seem to be able to attract some interesting names to collaborate with - Horace Panter of The Specials and the late Neil Innes recently, but also members of The Blockheads, Madness, Stranglers and Goldfrapp in the past.  Who would be top of your collaborative wish list? I’d love to do something with Eno again. We became friendly during the mid nineties. I was tutored by him, whilst working on an art show called ‘Self Storage’ with Laurie Anderson but never made it into the studio. A wild card like Wendy Carlos, famed for the soundtrack of ‘A Clockwork Orange’ would be great too. Likewise, your videos have featured some interesting names from British comedy…  What do they bring to the party?  Anyone else you’d like to get on board if you had free reign? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pDr7nkOQN9Q All the comedy connections came from Kevin Eldon initially, a super bright and truly wonderful guy. He introduced me to Paul Putner at a Specials gig. Paul’s a brilliant bloke and really likes the band. He found the remarkable Suzy Kane for us. All three have taken excellent roles. Suzy had a lot of input in Noisy Neighbours, suggesting wardrobe and even shots to Ashley as we were making it; we really have had tremendous fun with our contributors. Obviously, Chris Morris would be fantastic but I’m a little afraid to knock. We hear the debut M&TM album is close to completion – what have you got in store for us? A psychedelic mish mash of fable, sound collage and idea. With the new single, 3 of the songs are now out there. On a musical front Horace Panter out of The Specials has guested on a couple of tracks for us and of course we have one of Neil Innes’ last performances too. I’ve written a song about Imelda Marcos, she seemed like a person who was way ahead of her time, a modern template for a highly manipulative battle-axe. I have an author friend in his 60s who’s an eminent  psychologist, (Georg Eifert - Anxiety Happens) so I wrote a song called ‘The Fear’, with a lot of his theories in mind. There’s also one too called ‘Sick and Tired’, it’s not about what I’m eed up about, but like Noisy Neighbours it’s a comment about complaint. When writing I try to look at what gets talked about by everyday people and base some of the songs around those themes. Earwig on phone conversations on buses, pick up discarded bits of paper, when you get into the habit you’ll be amazed what you find. So I get on the 38 and set my brain to record. There’s also a fair amount about growing up on the record too, which I hope all can relate to. I think you have to start with a good idea, that’s on any level otherwise you’re unlikely to get far. From my art college days I got into the habit of noting things down, if you don’t it often escapes you. It’s difficult to marry a multitude of ingredients and let’s face it the world is full of plenty, pair it down and make it resonate. Anyone who tells you otherwise is telling porkies. To make something that stands the test of time is more difficult still. But I’m not afraid of the work and I enjoy ‘the doing’, for me that’s what it’s all about. I believe that as individuals we have a natural tendency to evolve, if we choose to see it that way and trust, it’ll ‘self fulfill’. If you’ll allow yourself to tap into that expansion creatively, you’ll always find inspiration. Micko & The Mellotronics release 'Noisy Neighbours / You Killed My Father' on Landline Records on April 17 with the 7" single schedule to hit the shops on June 27. Read the full article

[kingsnorthlobotomy]

Dan Tetsell: Sins of the Grandfathers (Fan Edit)

This is a fan edit of Dan Tetsell's "Sins Of The Grandfathers" to bring it down to the regular Radio 4 comedy half hour format.

https://www.4shared.com/mp3/dOEWVoNKei/01_Sins_of_the_Grandfathers__F.html

To my suprise editing the play down by 50% really changes the tone. Here is the orignal play as broadcast:

https://www.4shared.com/mp3/BmacaR7Oca/01_Sins_of_the_Grandfathers.html

If you have the time, listen to them both and tell me which one you think is better.

Then visit:

http://www.tetsell.com/

[marvelousmatt]

News: Brexit Special From Matt Berry

By Bruce Dessau on 15/3/2019

Matt Berry offers his unique take on Brexit in Road To Brexit, a one-off comedy special to mark the passing of the Article 50 deadline.

Reuniting with collaborator Arthur Mathews for the first time since Toast Of London, Berry plays rogue historian Michael Squeamish, who’s on a mission to discover the origins of Brexit and offer some interesting opinions on Britain’s current plight along the way.

Through creative use of archive footage and filmed interviews, The Road To Brexit unashamedly plays fast and loose with the facts to create a joyously surreal whistle stop tour of Britain’s relationship with Europe, from the 1950s right up to Brexit.

The Road To Brexit is an Objective Fiction production for BBC Two.

Road To Brexit, BBC Two, 26 March, 10pm

Credits:

Michael Squeamish - Matt Berry Jill Spiller - Felicity Montagu Tony Braxton - Alex Macqueen Rob Codex-Forrester - Phil Wang Jemima Codex-Forrester - Natasia Demetriou Vox Pop Peter - Simon Greenall Vox Pop Pamela - Ann Mitchell Musician - Paul Putner

Writer: Arthur Mathews

Director & Producer: Hannah Mackay

Executive Producer: Ben Farrell

Production Company: Objective Fiction

[mikesmith]

Tweeted

Sorting through my old novelty singles again. Dug out this rarity. One of Aphex Twin's early outings. Let's get nostalgic about 1992 getting nostalgic about 1982?https://t.co/bwg7VYQ6X6 pic.twitter.com/MyODzbV2Ot

— Paul Putner (@RealPaulPutner) November 20, 2020

[darrenlock]

RT @RealPaulPutner: I see 'Sussexes' and 'Stewart Lee' are trending today. Do you remember when he went on That's Life and made his pet dog say 'Sussexes'? https://bit.ly/2wCDLe4

I see 'Sussexes' and 'Stewart Lee' are trending today. Do you remember when he went on That's Life and made his pet dog say 'Sussexes'?https://t.co/XqeDJHx5yM

— Paul Putner (@RealPaulPutner) March 30, 2020

from Twitter https://twitter.com/darren_lock March 30, 2020 at 01:53AM via IFTTT

[networkingdefinition]

Peas Quotes

Official Website: Peas Quotes

(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push();

  • A man must have something to cling to. Without that he is as a pea vine sprawling in search of a trellis…. I was all asprawl, clinging to Beauty, which is a very restless trellis. – E. B. White • A minister has to be able to read a clock. At noon, it’s time to go home and turn up the pot roast and get the peas out of the freezer. – Garrison Keillor • A monkey was carrying two handfuls of peas. One little pea dropped out. He tried to pick it up, and split twenty. He tried to pick up the twenty, and split them all. Then he lost his temper, scattered the peas in all directions and ran away – Leo Tolstoy • A solid man of Boston; A comfortable man with dividends, And the first salmon and the first green peas. – Henry Wadsworth Longfellow • A typical Irish dinner would be: cream flavored with lobster, cream with bits of veal in it, green peas and cream, cream cheese, cream flavored with strawberries. – Nancy Mitford • All I wanted was to be a pea of being inside the green pod of time. – Billy Collins • All things here appear to me to trudge on in one and the same round: we rise in the morning that we may eat breakfast, dinner andsupper and to bed again that we may get up the next morning and do the same: so that you never saw two peas more alike than our yesterday and to-day. – Thomas Jefferson • An election cannot give a country a firm sense of direction if it has two or more national parties which merely have different names but are as alike in their principles and aims as peas in the same pod. – Franklin D. Roosevelt • As cows need milking and sweet peas need picking, so writers must continually exercise their mental muscles by a daily stint. – Joan Aiken • Aspirin is so good for roses, brandy for sweet peas, and a squeeze of lemon-juice for the fleshy flowers, like begonias. – Gerald Durrell

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• Banquet: a plate of cold, hairy chicken and artificially coloured green peas completely surrounded by dreary speeches and appeals for donations. – Bennett Cerf • Barney’s Dad was really bad so Barney hatched a plan when his dad said “Eat your peas.” Barney shouted no and ran Barney tricked his mean old dad and locked him in the cellar Barney’s Mom never found out where he’d gone, Cause Barney didn’t tell her. There his dad spent his life eating mice and gruel With every bite for fifty years he was sorry he’d been cruel – Bill Watterson • Be careful what you say. It comes true. It comes true. I had to leave home in order to see the world logically, logic the new way of seeing. I learned to think that mysteries are for explanation. I enjoy the simplicity. Concrete pours out of my mouth to cover the forests with freeways and sidewalks. Give me plastics, periodical tables, TV dinners with vegetables no more complex than peas mixed with diced carrots. Shine floodlights into dark corners: no ghosts. – Maxine Hong Kingston • Being pretty on the inside means you don’t hit your brother and you eat all your peas – that’s what my grandma taught me. – Lord Chesterfield • Blue does not go with everything,” Will told her. “It does not go with red, for instance.” “I have a red and blue striped waistcoat,” Henry interjected, reaching for the peas. “And if that isn’t proof that those two colors should never be seen together under Heaven, I don’t know what is. – Cassandra Clare

• Cacao is rich in happy phenethylamine chemicals called PEA. These compounds have been associated with feeling good and falling in love. – David Wolfe • Catherine went still. Her eyes closed against a sudden wet sting. ‘Did you accept her proposal?’ Leo nuzzled tenderly into the hollow beneath her ear. ‘Of course not, pea-goose. – Lisa Kleypas • Children pick up words as pigeons peas And utter them again as God shall please. – John Ray • Civilisation makes us all as alike as peas in a pod, and it is the very uncouth – uncivilised, if you will – element which individualises nations. – Alec-Tweedie • Donald Trump has said that I would like to sit down and talk to people, work things out. Well, guess what? Some of the evidence is that was, he went straight to Mexico and sat down and had a conference and a meeting directly with Pea Nieto to go over all this. OK, that. – Kimberly Guilfoyle • Dried peas and beans, being rather on the dull side, much like dull people respond readily to the right contacts. – Irma S. Rombauer • For a hungry man, green peas are more shiny than gleaming pearls. – Mehmet Murat Ildan • Frozen peas can be shelled very fast with a wringer-type washer. Put a pan on one side of the wringer to catch the peas and the pods go on through. You will think peas will go through the wringer and be mashed the moment the pod hits the wringer, but they will pop out before they go through. A very fast job can be done this way. – Heloise • Hebrew was frozen, like frozen peas, fresh out of the Bible. – Etgar Keret • Here are sweet peas, on tiptoe for a flight; With wings of gentle flush o’er delicate white, And taper fingers catching at all things, To bind them all about with tiny rings. – John Keats • Hey, look at this!” He holds up a glistening, perfect pearl about the size of a pea. “You know, if you put enough pressure on coal it turns to pearls,” he says earnestly to Finnick. “No, it doesn’t,” says Finnick dismissively. But I crack up, remembering that’s how a clueless Effie Trinket presented us to the people of the Capitol last year, before anyone knew us. As coal pressured into pearls by our weighty existence. Beauty that arose out of pain. – Suzanne Collins • How long have you been here? (Jericho) Don’t know. Again, tried to count once, got depressed so I stopped. I find it easier to just go with the flow. Ease with the peas. (Asmodeus) Ease with the peas? (Jericho) Yeah, that’s not a happy memory, either. Let’s forget I mentioned it. (Asmodeus) – Sherrilyn Kenyon • How lucious lies the pea within the pod. – Emily Dickinson • How much courage does it take to fire up your tractor and plow under a crop you spent six or seven years growing? How much courage to go on and do that after you’ve spent all that time finding out how to prepare the soil and when to plant and how much to water and when to reap? How much to just say, “I have to quit these peas. Peas are no good for me, I better try corn or beans. – Stephen King • Hugh Grant and I both laugh and cringe at the same things, worship the same books, eat the same food, hate central heating and sleep with the window open. I thought these things were vital, but being two peas in a pod ended up not being enough. – Elizabeth Hurley • I am as comfortless as a pilgrim with peas in his shoes – and as cold as Charity, Chastity or any other Virtue. – Lord Byron • I cannot wait to go get my fried butter on a stick, and fried cheesecake on a stick and…Twinkies, especially in honor of those who would rather just be forced to eat our peas. – Sarah Palin • I had pecs for about two days. Everyone would hate me. Just look at me walking around with my little peacoat on. My little customized pea coat. – Robert Pattinson • I have a few cavities. I don’t like to call them cavities, though – I like to call them ‘places to put stuff’. ‘Do you know where I can store a pea’ ‘Yes, I have some locations available.’ – Mitch Hedberg • I like not lady-slippers, Nor yet the sweet-pea blossoms, Nor yet the flaky roses, Red or white as snow; I like the chaliced lilies, The heavy Eastern lilies, The gorgeous tiger-lilies, That in our garden grow. – Thomas Bailey Aldrich • I liked playing Morph in Mash and Peas and doing Phil Daniels in the Blur Rock Profile was a giggle too. – Paul Putner • I listen to my iPod as I walk on. If I’m winning I’ll listen to the same song, that’s like a good luck thing – usually The Black Eyed Peas’ Let’s Get It Started. – Andy Murray • I love fresh vegetables and we always include them in our meals. I don’t force my kids to eat asparagus, but they do eat peas, broccoli, and carrots. – Alison Sweeney • I loved pop music as a little kid. Things like the Black Eyed Peas. If it had a catchy chorus, I was into it.- James Bay • I met Mel [Brooks] backstage in Anne’s [Bancroft] dressing room. He was wearing one of those pea coats, pea jackets that were made famous by the Merchant Marines, and I admired it and he said, “You know, they used to call this a urine jacket, but it didn’t sell.” – Gene Wilder • I must be like the princess who felt the pea through seven mattresses; each book is a pea. – C. S. Forester • I never dream in French, but certain French words seem better or more fun than English words – like ‘pois chiches’ for chick peas! – Lydia Davis • I think Black Eyed Peas are kind of unique in the ways they produce their songs. Their songs are very current. – Steve Pink • I think everything happens for a reason and all of my choices have led me up to my solo album and made me stronger, not only as an artist but as a person. I want to do more the Black Eyed Peas albums and more of my own albums. I’m in this for the long run. – Fergie • I thought that I had found something new. But then I convinced myself that the Abbot Gregor Mendel in Brünn, had, during the sixties, not only obtained the same result through extensive experiments with peas, which lasted for many years, as did de Vries and I, but had also given exactly the same explanation, as far as that was possible in 1866. – Carl Correns • I used to visit and revisit it a dozen times a day, and stand in deep contemplation over my vegetable progeny with a love that nobody could share or conceive of who had never taken part in the process of creation. It was one of the most bewitching sights in the world to observe a hill of beans thrusting aside the soil, or a rose of early peas just peeping forth sufficiently to trace a line of delicate green. – Nathaniel Hawthorne • I will be brave, thought Despereaux. I will try to be brave like a knight in shining armour. I will be brave for the Princess Pea. – Kate DiCamillo • I will say A Pea in the Pod saved my life – at the end of my pregnancy. I even wear their tanks now to work out in because they’re really long. – Kim Kardashian • I worry about people who get born nowadays, because they get born into such tiny families–sometimes into no family at all. When you’re the only pea in the pod, your parents are likely to get you confused with the Hope Diamond. And that encourages you to talk too much. – Russell Baker • If the Earth is the size of a pea in New York, then the Sun is a beachball 50m away, Pluto is 4km away, and the next nearest star is in Tokyo. Now shrink Pluto’s orbit into a coffee cup; then our Milky Way Galaxy fills North America. – Wayne Hays • If you don’t have at least a working knowledge of the Hawaiian language… you can’t chant well. You cannot… receive the images of poetry paints for you. It’s like having peas and no pod. – Keali’i Reichel • If you gave kids peas that didn’t look like peas and said they were a space shuttle, they’re much more apt to eat them because it’s now playtime. – Hod Lipson • If you want to grow up to be a big, strong pea, you have to eat your candy,” Papa Pea would say. – Amy Krouse Rosenthal • I’m a great believer in conversational rhythm. I think in terms of rhythmic dialogue. It’s so easy, you can talk naturally. It’s like peas rolling off a knife. Take the great screen actors and actresses, Bette Davis, Eddie Robinson, Jimmy Cagney, Spencer Tracy. They all talk in rhythm. And rhythm and movement are the life of the screen. – Lorenz Hart • I’m good in the kitchen. I can cook seafood, collard greens, black-eyed peas. – Monique Coleman • I’m obsessed with broccoli, carrots, celery, string beans, snap peas, black kale, brussels sprouts, cabbage – I could go on! They used to call me ‘rabbit’ when I was a kid. I hate mushrooms, though. I apologize to fungi lovers, but this way, there’s more for you! – Lisa Edelstein • In order to get big things done, sometimes, presidents have to be deft at moving the pea around under the shells. – Charlie Pierce • In school, they would tell you that life wouldn’t come to you; you had to go out and make it your own. But when it came to love, the message for girls seemed to be this: Don’t. Don’t go after what you want. Wait. Wait to be chosen, as if only in the eye of another could one truly find value. The message was confusing and infuriating. It was a shell game with no actual pea under the rapidly moving cups. – Libba Bray • In the early years of the Uprising, we survived on one meal a day of horse meat and soup, but by the end we ate only dried peas, dogs, cats and birds. – Diane Ackerman • In the game of life, less diversity means fewer options for change. Wild or domesticated, panda or pea, adaptation is the requirement for survival. – Cary Fowler • In the range of things toddlers have to learn and endlessly review–why you can’t put bottles with certain labels in your mouth, why you have to sit on the potty, why you can’t take whatever you want in the store, why you don’t hit your friends–by the time we got to why you can’t drop your peas, well, I was dropping a few myself. – Mary Blakely • Is that clear?” said Borcht “as clear as pea soup” I said – James Patterson • It is a great delusion to suppose that flesh-meat of any kind is essential to health. Considerably more than three parts of the work in the world is done by men who never taste anything but vegetable, farinaceous food, and that of the simplest kind. There are more strength-producing properties in wholemeal flour, peas, beans, lentils, oatmeal, roots, and other vegetables of the same class, than there are beef or mutton, poultry or fish, or animal food of any description whatever. – Catherine Booth • It suddenly struck me that that tiny pea, pretty and blue, was the Earth. I put up my thumb and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth. I didn’t feel like a giant. I felt very, very small. – Neil Armstrong • It was Lisa, aged five, whose mother asked her to thank my wife for the peas we had sent them from our garden. ‘I thought the peas were awful, I wish you and Mrs. Thurber were dead, and I hate trees,’ said Lisa. – James Thurber • It’s a trifle. It’s got all of these layers. First there’s a layer of ladyfingers, then a layer of jam, then custard, which I made from scratch, then raspberries, more ladyfingers, then beef sauteed with peas and onions, then a little more custard, and then bananas, and then I just put some whipped cream on top! – Rachel • Lack of world vision in any Christian produces a ‘pea-sized Christianity’. – David Bryant • Let us consider what we call vicious luxury. No gratification, however sensual, can of itself be esteemed vicious. A gratification is only vicious when it engrosses all a man’s expense, and leaves no ability for such acts of duty and generosity as are required by his situation and fortune. The same care and toil that raise a dish of peas at Christmas would give bread to a whole family during six months. – David Hume • Lives are snowflakes – unique in detail, forming patterns we have seen before, but as like one another as peas in a pod (and have you ever looked at peas in a pod? I mean, really looked at them? There’s not a chance you’d mistake one for another, after a minute’s close inspection.) – Neil Gaiman • Love is ridiculous. But love is also wonderful. And powerful. And Despereaux’s love for the Princess Pea would prove, in time, to be all of these things: powerful, wonderful, and ridiculous. – Kate DiCamillo • Mainstream people dislike homosexuality because they can’t help concentrating on what homosexual men do to one another. And when you contemplate what people do, you think of yourself doing it. And they don’t like that. That’s the famous joke: I don’t like peas, and I’m glad I don’t like them, because if I liked them I would eat them and I hate them. – Quentin Crisp • Memory overshadows the present and dims the future “into something thicker than its usual pea soup.” – Vladimir Nabokov • Mostly, I spend my time being a mother to my two children, working in my organic garden, raising masses of sweet peas, being passionately involved in conservation, recycling and solar energy. – Blythe Danner • My boy, the ‘quenelles de sole’ were splendid, but the peas were poor. You should shake the pan gently, all the time, like this. – Marie-Antoine Careme • My cat is completely blind. I am watching her now, sweet-pea that is, circling the kitchen floor and bumping into the kitchen chairs. She is kind of like a furry ball in a pinball machine…she bumps into something and then just turns and moves on…it makes me smile – although i know it’s just not that funny. I think i laugh because what i really feel like doing, is crying – Jann Arden • My family lived off the land and summer evening meals featured baked stuffed tomatoes, potato salad, corn on the cob, fresh shelled peas and homemade ice cream with strawberries from our garden. With no air conditioning in those days, the cool porch was the center of our universe after the scorching days. – David Mixner • My favorite healthy foods are Jamaican chicken soup, Jamaican chicken stew peas, Jamaican brown stew chicken, plantains and banana chips. – Sanya Richards-Ross • My musical taste is like a 16-year-old girl’s when it comes to working out – Rihanna, Black Eyed Peas, Miley Cyrus. I love it all! – Jessica Capshaw • My solo album is different from the Black Eyed Peas albums because I’m a singer first and foremost. There are more ballads and more intimacy between me and the listener because sometimes when you’re in a group you don’t have space to air out your dirty laundry. – Fergie • My teacher said my brain was the size of a pea. He made my life miserable by singling me out in the classroom as a failure. – Willard Wigan • No member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints who has canned peas, topped beets, hauled hay, shoveled coal, or helped in any way to serve others ever forgets or regrets the experience of helping provide for those in need. – Thomas S. Monson • Nobody wants somebody who wants them for what they have or the position their in- you want somebody who wants you for you. In case it all goes crazy and it all turns to dust. I want somebody who loves me in the welfare line, eating gumbo, eating fish,black eyed peas and rice. I want somebody that loves me. God wants you to love him, not his cars, not his house, not his blessing- love him. – T. D. Jakes • Nothing rekindles my spirits, gives comfort to my heart and mind, more than a visit to Mississippi��� and to be regaled as I often have been, with a platter of fried chicken, field peas, collard greens, fresh corn on the cob, sliced tomatoes with French dressing… and to top it all off with a wedge of freshly baked pecan pie. – Craig Claiborne • Now hoppin’-john was F. Jasmine’s very favorite food. She had always warned them to wave a plate of rice and peas before her nose when she was in her coffin, to make certain there was no mistake; for if a breath of life was left in her, she would sit up and eat, but if she smelled the hopping-john, and did not stir, then they could just nail down the coffin and be certain she was truly dead. – Carson McCullers • October, baptize me with leaves! Swaddle me in corduroy and nurse me with split pea soup. October, tuck tiny candy bars in my pockets and carve my smile into a thousand pumpkins. O autumn! O teakettle! O grace! – Rainbow Rowell • One recent menu for suspected terrorists at Guantanamo consisted of orange glazed chicken, fresh fruit crepe, steamed peas and mushrooms, and rice pilaf. Sounds like the sort of thing you’d get at Windows on the World – if it still existed. – Ann Coulter • Our full humanity is contingent on our hospitality; we can be complete only when we are giving something away; when we sit at the table and pass the peas to the person next to us we see that person in a whole new way. – Alice Waters • Pea was aware suddenly of how fragile her heart was, how much darkness was inside it, fighting, always, with the light. She did not like the rat. She would neverlike the rat, but she knew what she must do to save her own heart. – Kate DiCamillo • Peas baffled me. I could not understand why grown-ups would take things that tasted so good raw, and then put them in tins, and make them revolting. – Neil Gaiman • Peas went with carrots as infallibly as ham went with eggs. For years I thought carrots and peas grew on the same vine. – Peg Bracken • People ate bread made of the shells of peas because there was no flour. – Bel Kaufman • Poetry is a rich, full-bodied whistle, cracked ice crunching in pails, the night that numbs the leaf, the duel of two nightingales, the sweet pea that has run wild, Creation’s tears in shoulder blades. – Boris Pasternak • Reader, you may ask this queston. In fact, you must ask this question. Is it ridiculous for a very small, sickly, big-eared mouse to fall in love with a beautiful princess named Pea? The answer is… Yes. Of course it’s ridiculous. Love is ridiculous. But love is also wonderful. And powerful. – Kate DiCamillo • Rice and peas fit into that category of dishes where two ordinary foods, combined together, ignite a pleasure far beyond the capacity of either of its parts alone. Like rhubarb and strawberries, apple pie and cheese, roast pork and sage, the two tastes and textures meld together into the sort of subtle transcendental oneness that we once fantasized would be our experience when we finally found the ideal mate. – John Thorne • Runny’s Nicpic One day Runny Babbit Met little Franny Fog. He said, “Let’s have a nicpic Down by the lollow hog.” He brought some cutter bookies, Some teanuts and some pea. And what did Franny Fog bring? Her whole fog framily. – Shel Silverstein • She could not explain or quite understand that it wasn’t altogether jealousy she felt, it was rage. And not because she couldn’t shop like that or dress like that. It was because that was what girls were supposed to be like. That was what men – people, everybody – thought they should be like. Beautiful, treasured, spoiled, selfish, pea-brained. That was what a girl should be, to be fallen in love with. Then she would become a mother and she’d be all mushily devoted to her babies. Not selfish anymore, but just as pea-brained. Forever. – Alice Munro • Soft petals, yes, but not so barren quite, Mingled with these, smooth bean and wrinkled pea; And go along with you ere you lose sight Of what you came for and become like me,

Slave to a springtime passion for the earth. How love burns through the Putting in the Seed On through the watching for that early birth When, just as the soil tarnishes with weed,

The sturdy seedling with arched body comes Shouldering its way and shedding the earth crumbs. – Robert Frost • Some are trapped in boxes of pea-sized Christianity, full of myths about missions that rob them of incentive to care about the unreached – David Bryant • Some days confidence shrinks to the size of a pea, and the backbone feels like a feather. We want to be somewhere else, and don’t know where – want to be someone else and don’t know who. – Jean Hersey • Someone is dead. Even the trees know it, those poor old dancers who come on lewdly, all pea-green scarfs and spine pole. – Anne Sexton • Sometimes when you are trying not to think about something it keeps popping back in your head you can’t help it you think about it and think about it and think about it until your brain feels like a squashed pea. – Sharon Creech • STAY HOME FROM SCHOOL FAUX VOMIT: 1 cup of cooked oatmeal 1.2 cup of sour cream (or buttermilk ranch dressing or anything that smells like rancid, sour milk) 2 chopped cheese sticks (for chunkiness) 1 uncooked egg (for authentic slimy texture) 1 can of split pea soup (for putrid green color) 1/4 cup of raisins (to increase gross-osity) Mix ingredients and simmer over low heat for 2 minutes Let mixture cool to warm vomit temperature Use liberally as needed Makes 4 to 5 cups – Rachel Renée Russell • Straight up from this road Away from the fitted particles of frost Coating the hull of each chick pea, And the stiff archer bug making its way In the morning dark, toe hair by toe hair, Up the stem of the trillim, Straight up through the sky above this road right now, The galaxies of the Cygnus A cluster Are colliding with each other in a massive swarm Of interpenetrating and exploding catastrophes. I try to remember that. – Pattiann Rogers • Sweet pea?'” Alec said. “I was just trying it out.” Alec shook his head. “No.” Magnus shrugged. “I’ll keep at it. – Cassandra Clare • Tess and I are a good match. She understands intimately where I came from. She can cheer me up on my darkest days. It’s as if she came perfectly happy home instead of what Kaede just told me. I feel a relaxing warmth at the thought, realizing suddenly how much I’m anticipating meeting up with Tess again. Where she goes, I go, and vice versa. Peas in a pod. Then there’s June. Even the thought of her name makes it hard for me to breathe. I’m almost embarrassed by my reaction. Are June and I a good match? No. It’s the first word to pop into my mind. And yet, still. – Marie Lu • That admiration of the ‘neat but not gaudy,’ which is commonly reported to have influenced the devil when he painted his tail pea green. – John Ruskin • The best minds come from the most unexpected faces and places. There is no image for intelligence or genius. Genius is something that cannot be seen. It cannot be produced or manufactured. It is something that even the true genius thinks is unattainable. The genius recognizes he’s just a small pea in a sea of infinite atoms. Knowledge is as infinite as the universe. The man who claims to know all, only reveals to all that he really knows nothing. – Suzy Kassem • The Black Eyed Peas sell thousands of seats in every country on the planet. You can’t get nervous. We’re all succeeding in all different parts of our careers. Just because I produce Nas and John Legend and Justin Timberlake doesn’t mean it will change the dynamic of the Peas. – will.i.am • The Colonel led all the cheers. Cornbread!” he screamed. CHICKEN!” the crowd responded. Rice!” PEAS!” And then, all together: “WE GOT HIGHER SATs.” Hip Hip Hip Hooray!” the Colonel cried. YOU’LL BE WORKIN’ FOR US SOMEDAY! – John Green • The meal was pretentious – a kind of beetroot soup with greasy croutons; pork underdone with loud vulgar cabbage, potato croquettes, tinned peas in tiny jam-tart cases, watery gooseberry sauce; trifle made with a resinous wine, so jammy that all my teeth lit up at once. – Anthony Burgess • The only really interesting thing about someone that makes you want to explore them further is their heart, and Miss Honeycut has a teeny tiny pea-sized one and it takes you nowhere you want to go. – Polly Horvath • The Owl and the Pussycat went to sea In a beautiful pea-green boat: They took some honey, and plenty of money Wrapped up in a five-pound note. . . They dined on mince and slices of quince, Which they ate with a runcible spoon; And hand in hand, on the edge of the sand, They danced by the light of the moon, The moon, The moon, They danced by the light of the moon. – Edward Lear • The owl and the pussycat went to sea, / In a beautiful pea green boat. / They took some honey, and plenty of money, / Wrapped up in a five pound note. – Edward Lear • The peanut is neither a pea nor a nut. Discuss. – Mike Myers • The Princess and the Pea?” Gabrielle suggested. “Not enough time,” Kat said “Where’s Waldo?” Gabrielle went on. “No.” Hamish recoiled. “I am still not allowed back in Morocco. – Ally Carter • The sower may mistake and sow his peas crookedly; the peas make no mistake, but come up and show his line. – Ralph Waldo Emerson • There are few pleasures like really burrowing one’s nose into sweet peas. – Angela Thirkell • There are m]oral precepts that we consider really important, such as ‘don’t pick your nose’ or ‘don’t eat peas with a knife’. There may, for ought I know, be admirable reasons for eating peas with a knife, but . . . early persuasion has made me completely incapable of appreciating them.- Bertrand Russell • There are so many things to be tortured about, sweet pea. So many torturous things in this life. Don’t let the man who doesn’t love you be one of them. – Cheryl Strayed • There has long been a bemoaning of the lack of opportunity to make films that are anything but explosions or the ladling on the pea soup or whatever you want to call it. You can hardly make a movie today where somebody isn’t a murderer or a rapist or, if it’s a “Fried Green Tomatoes” that isn’t some wistful thing on this, that or the other thing. – Jack Nicholson • There must be a way to get more of these in me faster, thought the inventor of pea soup as he sat eating peas. – Dana Gould • This fellow pecks up wit, as pigeons peas; And utters it again when God doth please: He is wit’s pedler; and retails his wares. – William Shakespeare • Though loyal and able and brave, Pea had never displayed the slightest ability to learn from his experience, though his experience was considerable. Time and again he would walk up on the wrong side of a horse that was known to kick, and then look surprised when he got kicked. – Larry McMurtry • Thoughts come maimed and plucked of plumage from the lips, which, from the pea, in the silence of your own leisure and study, would be born with far more beauty. – Marguerite Gardiner, Countess of Blessington • Throw high risers at the chin; throw peas at the knees; throw it here when they’re lookin’ there; throw it there when they’re lookin’ here. – Satchel Paige • Tibby cried into her soup when it finally came. “I’m scared… ,” she told it. The carrots and peas made no reply, but she felt better for having told them. – Ann Brashares • Today, most women are surrounded by ingenious gadgets. They don’t grow the peas or raise the chicken that they serve for dinner; instead they hunt and gather in the grocery store. They go through catalogs or department stores to buy clothes instead of shearing sheep, carding wool, and weaving cloth for skirts and coats and blankets. – Helen Fisher • We all know what feminists are. They are shrill, overly aggressive, man-hating, ball-busting, selfish, hairy, extremist, deliberately unattractive women with absolutely no sense of humor who see sexism at every turn. They make men’s testicles shrivel up to the size of peas, they detest the family and think all children should be deported or drowned. – Susan J. Douglas • We have fried catfish, country fried steak and cinnamon-roasted pork. We have collard greens, black-eyed peas, hush puppies, biscuits, sweet potato pie and lots of gravy. Most players love it, but we also have a baked catfish for players who are still looking to stay on the approved diet. – Mark Farner • What you discover about life’s shell game is that it’s hardest to follow the pea when you’re the pea. – Robert Breault • Whatever cleaning goes on on the planet, women do 99% of it. But see, women are not as proud of their 99% as men are of our one! We clean something up, we’re gonna talk about it all year long. It might be on the news, you don’t know. A woman could be out re-paving the driveway. Men actually have enough gall to run out on the porch and go “Hey baby? Man, it’s hot as hell out here, ain’t it! Look, don’t worry about emptyin’ that ashtray in the den, I done got it, all right? Did it for you, sweet pea. I’m gonna go take a nap now, all right?” – Jeff Foxworthy • When Pococke inquired of Grotius, where the proof was of that story of the pigeon, trained to pick peas from Mahomet’s (Muhammad’s) ear, and pass for an angel dictating to him? Grotius answered that there was no proof! – Thomas Carlyle • When you look at the Lady Gagas of the world, or the Jay-Zs, or the Black Eyed Peas, these are people who have one album release and it’s a worldwide one. – Tinie Tempah • When you think of the “Exorcist” (1973) you think of Linda Blair and pea soup and all this madness, but really if you look at the first half of that film, the stuff between her and Ellen Burstyn is so naturalistic and so real. – Matt Reeves • When you’re the only pea in the pod, your parents are likely to get you confused with the Hope diamond. – Russell Baker • Who watches golf on TV? Who calls eight friends over and gets a keg of beer? Landscapers, I guess. They sit around the TV, yelling, “Will you look at that golf path?Pure pea gravel.” – Jeff Cesario • William Tell could take an apple off your head, [Phil] Taylor could take out a processed pea. – Sid Waddell • You know, when I eat three peas, I’m pregnant. When I visit a city, I’m buying a house. – Vanessa Paradis • Young people want to look like peas in a pod, and there is no use trying to make them different. – Ilka Chase

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[equitiesstocks]

Peas Quotes

Official Website: Peas Quotes

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  • A man must have something to cling to. Without that he is as a pea vine sprawling in search of a trellis…. I was all asprawl, clinging to Beauty, which is a very restless trellis. – E. B. White • A minister has to be able to read a clock. At noon, it’s time to go home and turn up the pot roast and get the peas out of the freezer. – Garrison Keillor • A monkey was carrying two handfuls of peas. One little pea dropped out. He tried to pick it up, and split twenty. He tried to pick up the twenty, and split them all. Then he lost his temper, scattered the peas in all directions and ran away – Leo Tolstoy • A solid man of Boston; A comfortable man with dividends, And the first salmon and the first green peas. – Henry Wadsworth Longfellow • A typical Irish dinner would be: cream flavored with lobster, cream with bits of veal in it, green peas and cream, cream cheese, cream flavored with strawberries. – Nancy Mitford • All I wanted was to be a pea of being inside the green pod of time. – Billy Collins • All things here appear to me to trudge on in one and the same round: we rise in the morning that we may eat breakfast, dinner andsupper and to bed again that we may get up the next morning and do the same: so that you never saw two peas more alike than our yesterday and to-day. – Thomas Jefferson • An election cannot give a country a firm sense of direction if it has two or more national parties which merely have different names but are as alike in their principles and aims as peas in the same pod. – Franklin D. Roosevelt • As cows need milking and sweet peas need picking, so writers must continually exercise their mental muscles by a daily stint. – Joan Aiken • Aspirin is so good for roses, brandy for sweet peas, and a squeeze of lemon-juice for the fleshy flowers, like begonias. – Gerald Durrell

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• Banquet: a plate of cold, hairy chicken and artificially coloured green peas completely surrounded by dreary speeches and appeals for donations. – Bennett Cerf • Barney’s Dad was really bad so Barney hatched a plan when his dad said “Eat your peas.” Barney shouted no and ran Barney tricked his mean old dad and locked him in the cellar Barney’s Mom never found out where he’d gone, Cause Barney didn’t tell her. There his dad spent his life eating mice and gruel With every bite for fifty years he was sorry he’d been cruel – Bill Watterson • Be careful what you say. It comes true. It comes true. I had to leave home in order to see the world logically, logic the new way of seeing. I learned to think that mysteries are for explanation. I enjoy the simplicity. Concrete pours out of my mouth to cover the forests with freeways and sidewalks. Give me plastics, periodical tables, TV dinners with vegetables no more complex than peas mixed with diced carrots. Shine floodlights into dark corners: no ghosts. – Maxine Hong Kingston • Being pretty on the inside means you don’t hit your brother and you eat all your peas – that’s what my grandma taught me. – Lord Chesterfield • Blue does not go with everything,” Will told her. “It does not go with red, for instance.” “I have a red and blue striped waistcoat,” Henry interjected, reaching for the peas. “And if that isn’t proof that those two colors should never be seen together under Heaven, I don’t know what is. – Cassandra Clare

• Cacao is rich in happy phenethylamine chemicals called PEA. These compounds have been associated with feeling good and falling in love. – David Wolfe • Catherine went still. Her eyes closed against a sudden wet sting. ‘Did you accept her proposal?’ Leo nuzzled tenderly into the hollow beneath her ear. ‘Of course not, pea-goose. – Lisa Kleypas • Children pick up words as pigeons peas And utter them again as God shall please. – John Ray • Civilisation makes us all as alike as peas in a pod, and it is the very uncouth – uncivilised, if you will – element which individualises nations. – Alec-Tweedie • Donald Trump has said that I would like to sit down and talk to people, work things out. Well, guess what? Some of the evidence is that was, he went straight to Mexico and sat down and had a conference and a meeting directly with Pea Nieto to go over all this. OK, that. – Kimberly Guilfoyle • Dried peas and beans, being rather on the dull side, much like dull people respond readily to the right contacts. – Irma S. Rombauer • For a hungry man, green peas are more shiny than gleaming pearls. – Mehmet Murat Ildan • Frozen peas can be shelled very fast with a wringer-type washer. Put a pan on one side of the wringer to catch the peas and the pods go on through. You will think peas will go through the wringer and be mashed the moment the pod hits the wringer, but they will pop out before they go through. A very fast job can be done this way. – Heloise • Hebrew was frozen, like frozen peas, fresh out of the Bible. – Etgar Keret • Here are sweet peas, on tiptoe for a flight; With wings of gentle flush o’er delicate white, And taper fingers catching at all things, To bind them all about with tiny rings. – John Keats • Hey, look at this!” He holds up a glistening, perfect pearl about the size of a pea. “You know, if you put enough pressure on coal it turns to pearls,” he says earnestly to Finnick. “No, it doesn’t,” says Finnick dismissively. But I crack up, remembering that’s how a clueless Effie Trinket presented us to the people of the Capitol last year, before anyone knew us. As coal pressured into pearls by our weighty existence. Beauty that arose out of pain. – Suzanne Collins • How long have you been here? (Jericho) Don’t know. Again, tried to count once, got depressed so I stopped. I find it easier to just go with the flow. Ease with the peas. (Asmodeus) Ease with the peas? (Jericho) Yeah, that’s not a happy memory, either. Let’s forget I mentioned it. (Asmodeus) – Sherrilyn Kenyon • How lucious lies the pea within the pod. – Emily Dickinson • How much courage does it take to fire up your tractor and plow under a crop you spent six or seven years growing? How much courage to go on and do that after you’ve spent all that time finding out how to prepare the soil and when to plant and how much to water and when to reap? How much to just say, “I have to quit these peas. Peas are no good for me, I better try corn or beans. – Stephen King • Hugh Grant and I both laugh and cringe at the same things, worship the same books, eat the same food, hate central heating and sleep with the window open. I thought these things were vital, but being two peas in a pod ended up not being enough. – Elizabeth Hurley • I am as comfortless as a pilgrim with peas in his shoes – and as cold as Charity, Chastity or any other Virtue. – Lord Byron • I cannot wait to go get my fried butter on a stick, and fried cheesecake on a stick and…Twinkies, especially in honor of those who would rather just be forced to eat our peas. – Sarah Palin • I had pecs for about two days. Everyone would hate me. Just look at me walking around with my little peacoat on. My little customized pea coat. – Robert Pattinson • I have a few cavities. I don’t like to call them cavities, though – I like to call them ‘places to put stuff’. ‘Do you know where I can store a pea’ ‘Yes, I have some locations available.’ – Mitch Hedberg • I like not lady-slippers, Nor yet the sweet-pea blossoms, Nor yet the flaky roses, Red or white as snow; I like the chaliced lilies, The heavy Eastern lilies, The gorgeous tiger-lilies, That in our garden grow. – Thomas Bailey Aldrich • I liked playing Morph in Mash and Peas and doing Phil Daniels in the Blur Rock Profile was a giggle too. – Paul Putner • I listen to my iPod as I walk on. If I’m winning I’ll listen to the same song, that’s like a good luck thing – usually The Black Eyed Peas’ Let’s Get It Started. – Andy Murray • I love fresh vegetables and we always include them in our meals. I don’t force my kids to eat asparagus, but they do eat peas, broccoli, and carrots. – Alison Sweeney • I loved pop music as a little kid. Things like the Black Eyed Peas. If it had a catchy chorus, I was into it.- James Bay • I met Mel [Brooks] backstage in Anne’s [Bancroft] dressing room. He was wearing one of those pea coats, pea jackets that were made famous by the Merchant Marines, and I admired it and he said, “You know, they used to call this a urine jacket, but it didn’t sell.” – Gene Wilder • I must be like the princess who felt the pea through seven mattresses; each book is a pea. – C. S. Forester • I never dream in French, but certain French words seem better or more fun than English words – like ‘pois chiches’ for chick peas! – Lydia Davis • I think Black Eyed Peas are kind of unique in the ways they produce their songs. Their songs are very current. – Steve Pink • I think everything happens for a reason and all of my choices have led me up to my solo album and made me stronger, not only as an artist but as a person. I want to do more the Black Eyed Peas albums and more of my own albums. I’m in this for the long run. – Fergie • I thought that I had found something new. But then I convinced myself that the Abbot Gregor Mendel in Brünn, had, during the sixties, not only obtained the same result through extensive experiments with peas, which lasted for many years, as did de Vries and I, but had also given exactly the same explanation, as far as that was possible in 1866. – Carl Correns • I used to visit and revisit it a dozen times a day, and stand in deep contemplation over my vegetable progeny with a love that nobody could share or conceive of who had never taken part in the process of creation. It was one of the most bewitching sights in the world to observe a hill of beans thrusting aside the soil, or a rose of early peas just peeping forth sufficiently to trace a line of delicate green. – Nathaniel Hawthorne • I will be brave, thought Despereaux. I will try to be brave like a knight in shining armour. I will be brave for the Princess Pea. – Kate DiCamillo • I will say A Pea in the Pod saved my life – at the end of my pregnancy. I even wear their tanks now to work out in because they’re really long. – Kim Kardashian • I worry about people who get born nowadays, because they get born into such tiny families–sometimes into no family at all. When you’re the only pea in the pod, your parents are likely to get you confused with the Hope Diamond. And that encourages you to talk too much. – Russell Baker • If the Earth is the size of a pea in New York, then the Sun is a beachball 50m away, Pluto is 4km away, and the next nearest star is in Tokyo. Now shrink Pluto’s orbit into a coffee cup; then our Milky Way Galaxy fills North America. – Wayne Hays • If you don’t have at least a working knowledge of the Hawaiian language… you can’t chant well. You cannot… receive the images of poetry paints for you. It’s like having peas and no pod. – Keali��i Reichel • If you gave kids peas that didn’t look like peas and said they were a space shuttle, they’re much more apt to eat them because it’s now playtime. – Hod Lipson • If you want to grow up to be a big, strong pea, you have to eat your candy,” Papa Pea would say. – Amy Krouse Rosenthal • I’m a great believer in conversational rhythm. I think in terms of rhythmic dialogue. It’s so easy, you can talk naturally. It’s like peas rolling off a knife. Take the great screen actors and actresses, Bette Davis, Eddie Robinson, Jimmy Cagney, Spencer Tracy. They all talk in rhythm. And rhythm and movement are the life of the screen. – Lorenz Hart • I’m good in the kitchen. I can cook seafood, collard greens, black-eyed peas. – Monique Coleman • I’m obsessed with broccoli, carrots, celery, string beans, snap peas, black kale, brussels sprouts, cabbage – I could go on! They used to call me ‘rabbit’ when I was a kid. I hate mushrooms, though. I apologize to fungi lovers, but this way, there’s more for you! – Lisa Edelstein • In order to get big things done, sometimes, presidents have to be deft at moving the pea around under the shells. – Charlie Pierce • In school, they would tell you that life wouldn’t come to you; you had to go out and make it your own. But when it came to love, the message for girls seemed to be this: Don’t. Don’t go after what you want. Wait. Wait to be chosen, as if only in the eye of another could one truly find value. The message was confusing and infuriating. It was a shell game with no actual pea under the rapidly moving cups. – Libba Bray • In the early years of the Uprising, we survived on one meal a day of horse meat and soup, but by the end we ate only dried peas, dogs, cats and birds. – Diane Ackerman • In the game of life, less diversity means fewer options for change. Wild or domesticated, panda or pea, adaptation is the requirement for survival. – Cary Fowler • In the range of things toddlers have to learn and endlessly review–why you can’t put bottles with certain labels in your mouth, why you have to sit on the potty, why you can’t take whatever you want in the store, why you don’t hit your friends–by the time we got to why you can’t drop your peas, well, I was dropping a few myself. – Mary Blakely • Is that clear?” said Borcht “as clear as pea soup” I said – James Patterson • It is a great delusion to suppose that flesh-meat of any kind is essential to health. Considerably more than three parts of the work in the world is done by men who never taste anything but vegetable, farinaceous food, and that of the simplest kind. There are more strength-producing properties in wholemeal flour, peas, beans, lentils, oatmeal, roots, and other vegetables of the same class, than there are beef or mutton, poultry or fish, or animal food of any description whatever. – Catherine Booth • It suddenly struck me that that tiny pea, pretty and blue, was the Earth. I put up my thumb and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth. I didn’t feel like a giant. I felt very, very small. – Neil Armstrong • It was Lisa, aged five, whose mother asked her to thank my wife for the peas we had sent them from our garden. ‘I thought the peas were awful, I wish you and Mrs. Thurber were dead, and I hate trees,’ said Lisa. – James Thurber • It’s a trifle. It’s got all of these layers. First there’s a layer of ladyfingers, then a layer of jam, then custard, which I made from scratch, then raspberries, more ladyfingers, then beef sauteed with peas and onions, then a little more custard, and then bananas, and then I just put some whipped cream on top! – Rachel • Lack of world vision in any Christian produces a ‘pea-sized Christianity’. – David Bryant • Let us consider what we call vicious luxury. No gratification, however sensual, can of itself be esteemed vicious. A gratification is only vicious when it engrosses all a man’s expense, and leaves no ability for such acts of duty and generosity as are required by his situation and fortune. The same care and toil that raise a dish of peas at Christmas would give bread to a whole family during six months. – David Hume • Lives are snowflakes – unique in detail, forming patterns we have seen before, but as like one another as peas in a pod (and have you ever looked at peas in a pod? I mean, really looked at them? There’s not a chance you’d mistake one for another, after a minute’s close inspection.) – Neil Gaiman • Love is ridiculous. But love is also wonderful. And powerful. And Despereaux’s love for the Princess Pea would prove, in time, to be all of these things: powerful, wonderful, and ridiculous. – Kate DiCamillo • Mainstream people dislike homosexuality because they can’t help concentrating on what homosexual men do to one another. And when you contemplate what people do, you think of yourself doing it. And they don’t like that. That’s the famous joke: I don’t like peas, and I’m glad I don’t like them, because if I liked them I would eat them and I hate them. – Quentin Crisp • Memory overshadows the present and dims the future “into something thicker than its usual pea soup.” – Vladimir Nabokov • Mostly, I spend my time being a mother to my two children, working in my organic garden, raising masses of sweet peas, being passionately involved in conservation, recycling and solar energy. – Blythe Danner • My boy, the ‘quenelles de sole’ were splendid, but the peas were poor. You should shake the pan gently, all the time, like this. – Marie-Antoine Careme • My cat is completely blind. I am watching her now, sweet-pea that is, circling the kitchen floor and bumping into the kitchen chairs. She is kind of like a furry ball in a pinball machine…she bumps into something and then just turns and moves on…it makes me smile – although i know it’s just not that funny. I think i laugh because what i really feel like doing, is crying – Jann Arden • My family lived off the land and summer evening meals featured baked stuffed tomatoes, potato salad, corn on the cob, fresh shelled peas and homemade ice cream with strawberries from our garden. With no air conditioning in those days, the cool porch was the center of our universe after the scorching days. – David Mixner • My favorite healthy foods are Jamaican chicken soup, Jamaican chicken stew peas, Jamaican brown stew chicken, plantains and banana chips. – Sanya Richards-Ross • My musical taste is like a 16-year-old girl’s when it comes to working out – Rihanna, Black Eyed Peas, Miley Cyrus. I love it all! – Jessica Capshaw • My solo album is different from the Black Eyed Peas albums because I’m a singer first and foremost. There are more ballads and more intimacy between me and the listener because sometimes when you’re in a group you don’t have space to air out your dirty laundry. – Fergie • My teacher said my brain was the size of a pea. He made my life miserable by singling me out in the classroom as a failure. – Willard Wigan • No member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints who has canned peas, topped beets, hauled hay, shoveled coal, or helped in any way to serve others ever forgets or regrets the experience of helping provide for those in need. – Thomas S. Monson • Nobody wants somebody who wants them for what they have or the position their in- you want somebody who wants you for you. In case it all goes crazy and it all turns to dust. I want somebody who loves me in the welfare line, eating gumbo, eating fish,black eyed peas and rice. I want somebody that loves me. God wants you to love him, not his cars, not his house, not his blessing- love him. – T. D. Jakes • Nothing rekindles my spirits, gives comfort to my heart and mind, more than a visit to Mississippi… and to be regaled as I often have been, with a platter of fried chicken, field peas, collard greens, fresh corn on the cob, sliced tomatoes with French dressing… and to top it all off with a wedge of freshly baked pecan pie. – Craig Claiborne • Now hoppin’-john was F. Jasmine’s very favorite food. She had always warned them to wave a plate of rice and peas before her nose when she was in her coffin, to make certain there was no mistake; for if a breath of life was left in her, she would sit up and eat, but if she smelled the hopping-john, and did not stir, then they could just nail down the coffin and be certain she was truly dead. – Carson McCullers • October, baptize me with leaves! Swaddle me in corduroy and nurse me with split pea soup. October, tuck tiny candy bars in my pockets and carve my smile into a thousand pumpkins. O autumn! O teakettle! O grace! – Rainbow Rowell • One recent menu for suspected terrorists at Guantanamo consisted of orange glazed chicken, fresh fruit crepe, steamed peas and mushrooms, and rice pilaf. Sounds like the sort of thing you’d get at Windows on the World – if it still existed. – Ann Coulter • Our full humanity is contingent on our hospitality; we can be complete only when we are giving something away; when we sit at the table and pass the peas to the person next to us we see that person in a whole new way. – Alice Waters • Pea was aware suddenly of how fragile her heart was, how much darkness was inside it, fighting, always, with the light. She did not like the rat. She would neverlike the rat, but she knew what she must do to save her own heart. – Kate DiCamillo • Peas baffled me. I could not understand why grown-ups would take things that tasted so good raw, and then put them in tins, and make them revolting. – Neil Gaiman • Peas went with carrots as infallibly as ham went with eggs. For years I thought carrots and peas grew on the same vine. – Peg Bracken • People ate bread made of the shells of peas because there was no flour. – Bel Kaufman • Poetry is a rich, full-bodied whistle, cracked ice crunching in pails, the night that numbs the leaf, the duel of two nightingales, the sweet pea that has run wild, Creation’s tears in shoulder blades. – Boris Pasternak • Reader, you may ask this queston. In fact, you must ask this question. Is it ridiculous for a very small, sickly, big-eared mouse to fall in love with a beautiful princess named Pea? The answer is… Yes. Of course it’s ridiculous. Love is ridiculous. But love is also wonderful. And powerful. – Kate DiCamillo • Rice and peas fit into that category of dishes where two ordinary foods, combined together, ignite a pleasure far beyond the capacity of either of its parts alone. Like rhubarb and strawberries, apple pie and cheese, roast pork and sage, the two tastes and textures meld together into the sort of subtle transcendental oneness that we once fantasized would be our experience when we finally found the ideal mate. – John Thorne • Runny’s Nicpic One day Runny Babbit Met little Franny Fog. He said, “Let’s have a nicpic Down by the lollow hog.” He brought some cutter bookies, Some teanuts and some pea. And what did Franny Fog bring? Her whole fog framily. – Shel Silverstein • She could not explain or quite understand that it wasn’t altogether jealousy she felt, it was rage. And not because she couldn’t shop like that or dress like that. It was because that was what girls were supposed to be like. That was what men – people, everybody – thought they should be like. Beautiful, treasured, spoiled, selfish, pea-brained. That was what a girl should be, to be fallen in love with. Then she would become a mother and she’d be all mushily devoted to her babies. Not selfish anymore, but just as pea-brained. Forever. – Alice Munro • Soft petals, yes, but not so barren quite, Mingled with these, smooth bean and wrinkled pea; And go along with you ere you lose sight Of what you came for and become like me,

Slave to a springtime passion for the earth. How love burns through the Putting in the Seed On through the watching for that early birth When, just as the soil tarnishes with weed,

The sturdy seedling with arched body comes Shouldering its way and shedding the earth crumbs. – Robert Frost • Some are trapped in boxes of pea-sized Christianity, full of myths about missions that rob them of incentive to care about the unreached – David Bryant • Some days confidence shrinks to the size of a pea, and the backbone feels like a feather. We want to be somewhere else, and don’t know where – want to be someone else and don’t know who. – Jean Hersey • Someone is dead. Even the trees know it, those poor old dancers who come on lewdly, all pea-green scarfs and spine pole. – Anne Sexton • Sometimes when you are trying not to think about something it keeps popping back in your head you can’t help it you think about it and think about it and think about it until your brain feels like a squashed pea. – Sharon Creech • STAY HOME FROM SCHOOL FAUX VOMIT: 1 cup of cooked oatmeal 1.2 cup of sour cream (or buttermilk ranch dressing or anything that smells like rancid, sour milk) 2 chopped cheese sticks (for chunkiness) 1 uncooked egg (for authentic slimy texture) 1 can of split pea soup (for putrid green color) 1/4 cup of raisins (to increase gross-osity) Mix ingredients and simmer over low heat for 2 minutes Let mixture cool to warm vomit temperature Use liberally as needed Makes 4 to 5 cups – Rachel Renée Russell • Straight up from this road Away from the fitted particles of frost Coating the hull of each chick pea, And the stiff archer bug making its way In the morning dark, toe hair by toe hair, Up the stem of the trillim, Straight up through the sky above this road right now, The galaxies of the Cygnus A cluster Are colliding with each other in a massive swarm Of interpenetrating and exploding catastrophes. I try to remember that. – Pattiann Rogers • Sweet pea?'” Alec said. “I was just trying it out.” Alec shook his head. “No.” Magnus shrugged. “I’ll keep at it. – Cassandra Clare • Tess and I are a good match. She understands intimately where I came from. She can cheer me up on my darkest days. It’s as if she came perfectly happy home instead of what Kaede just told me. I feel a relaxing warmth at the thought, realizing suddenly how much I’m anticipating meeting up with Tess again. Where she goes, I go, and vice versa. Peas in a pod. Then there’s June. Even the thought of her name makes it hard for me to breathe. I’m almost embarrassed by my reaction. Are June and I a good match? No. It’s the first word to pop into my mind. And yet, still. – Marie Lu • That admiration of the ‘neat but not gaudy,’ which is commonly reported to have influenced the devil when he painted his tail pea green. – John Ruskin • The best minds come from the most unexpected faces and places. There is no image for intelligence or genius. Genius is something that cannot be seen. It cannot be produced or manufactured. It is something that even the true genius thinks is unattainable. The genius recognizes he’s just a small pea in a sea of infinite atoms. Knowledge is as infinite as the universe. The man who claims to know all, only reveals to all that he really knows nothing. – Suzy Kassem • The Black Eyed Peas sell thousands of seats in every country on the planet. You can’t get nervous. We’re all succeeding in all different parts of our careers. Just because I produce Nas and John Legend and Justin Timberlake doesn’t mean it will change the dynamic of the Peas. – will.i.am • The Colonel led all the cheers. Cornbread!” he screamed. CHICKEN!” the crowd responded. Rice!” PEAS!” And then, all together: “WE GOT HIGHER SATs.” Hip Hip Hip Hooray!” the Colonel cried. YOU’LL BE WORKIN’ FOR US SOMEDAY! – John Green • The meal was pretentious – a kind of beetroot soup with greasy croutons; pork underdone with loud vulgar cabbage, potato croquettes, tinned peas in tiny jam-tart cases, watery gooseberry sauce; trifle made with a resinous wine, so jammy that all my teeth lit up at once. – Anthony Burgess • The only really interesting thing about someone that makes you want to explore them further is their heart, and Miss Honeycut has a teeny tiny pea-sized one and it takes you nowhere you want to go. – Polly Horvath • The Owl and the Pussycat went to sea In a beautiful pea-green boat: They took some honey, and plenty of money Wrapped up in a five-pound note. . . They dined on mince and slices of quince, Which they ate with a runcible spoon; And hand in hand, on the edge of the sand, They danced by the light of the moon, The moon, The moon, They danced by the light of the moon. – Edward Lear • The owl and the pussycat went to sea, / In a beautiful pea green boat. / They took some honey, and plenty of money, / Wrapped up in a five pound note. – Edward Lear • The peanut is neither a pea nor a nut. Discuss. – Mike Myers • The Princess and the Pea?” Gabrielle suggested. “Not enough time,” Kat said “Where’s Waldo?” Gabrielle went on. “No.” Hamish recoiled. “I am still not allowed back in Morocco. – Ally Carter • The sower may mistake and sow his peas crookedly; the peas make no mistake, but come up and show his line. – Ralph Waldo Emerson • There are few pleasures like really burrowing one’s nose into sweet peas. – Angela Thirkell • There are m]oral precepts that we consider really important, such as ‘don’t pick your nose’ or ‘don’t eat peas with a knife’. There may, for ought I know, be admirable reasons for eating peas with a knife, but . . . early persuasion has made me completely incapable of appreciating them.- Bertrand Russell • There are so many things to be tortured about, sweet pea. So many torturous things in this life. Don’t let the man who doesn’t love you be one of them. – Cheryl Strayed • There has long been a bemoaning of the lack of opportunity to make films that are anything but explosions or the ladling on the pea soup or whatever you want to call it. You can hardly make a movie today where somebody isn’t a murderer or a rapist or, if it’s a “Fried Green Tomatoes” that isn’t some wistful thing on this, that or the other thing. – Jack Nicholson • There must be a way to get more of these in me faster, thought the inventor of pea soup as he sat eating peas. – Dana Gould • This fellow pecks up wit, as pigeons peas; And utters it again when God doth please: He is wit’s pedler; and retails his wares. – William Shakespeare • Though loyal and able and brave, Pea had never displayed the slightest ability to learn from his experience, though his experience was considerable. Time and again he would walk up on the wrong side of a horse that was known to kick, and then look surprised when he got kicked. – Larry McMurtry • Thoughts come maimed and plucked of plumage from the lips, which, from the pea, in the silence of your own leisure and study, would be born with far more beauty. – Marguerite Gardiner, Countess of Blessington • Throw high risers at the chin; throw peas at the knees; throw it here when they’re lookin’ there; throw it there when they’re lookin’ here. – Satchel Paige • Tibby cried into her soup when it finally came. “I’m scared… ,” she told it. The carrots and peas made no reply, but she felt better for having told them. – Ann Brashares • Today, most women are surrounded by ingenious gadgets. They don’t grow the peas or raise the chicken that they serve for dinner; instead they hunt and gather in the grocery store. They go through catalogs or department stores to buy clothes instead of shearing sheep, carding wool, and weaving cloth for skirts and coats and blankets. – Helen Fisher • We all know what feminists are. They are shrill, overly aggressive, man-hating, ball-busting, selfish, hairy, extremist, deliberately unattractive women with absolutely no sense of humor who see sexism at every turn. They make men’s testicles shrivel up to the size of peas, they detest the family and think all children should be deported or drowned. – Susan J. Douglas • We have fried catfish, country fried steak and cinnamon-roasted pork. We have collard greens, black-eyed peas, hush puppies, biscuits, sweet potato pie and lots of gravy. Most players love it, but we also have a baked catfish for players who are still looking to stay on the approved diet. – Mark Farner • What you discover about life’s shell game is that it’s hardest to follow the pea when you’re the pea. – Robert Breault • Whatever cleaning goes on on the planet, women do 99% of it. But see, women are not as proud of their 99% as men are of our one! We clean something up, we’re gonna talk about it all year long. It might be on the news, you don’t know. A woman could be out re-paving the driveway. Men actually have enough gall to run out on the porch and go “Hey baby? Man, it’s hot as hell out here, ain’t it! Look, don’t worry about emptyin’ that ashtray in the den, I done got it, all right? Did it for you, sweet pea. I’m gonna go take a nap now, all right?” – Jeff Foxworthy • When Pococke inquired of Grotius, where the proof was of that story of the pigeon, trained to pick peas from Mahomet’s (Muhammad’s) ear, and pass for an angel dictating to him? Grotius answered that there was no proof! – Thomas Carlyle • When you look at the Lady Gagas of the world, or the Jay-Zs, or the Black Eyed Peas, these are people who have one album release and it’s a worldwide one. – Tinie Tempah • When you think of the “Exorcist” (1973) you think of Linda Blair and pea soup and all this madness, but really if you look at the first half of that film, the stuff between her and Ellen Burstyn is so naturalistic and so real. – Matt Reeves • When you’re the only pea in the pod, your parents are likely to get you confused with the Hope diamond. – Russell Baker • Who watches golf on TV? Who calls eight friends over and gets a keg of beer? Landscapers, I guess. They sit around the TV, yelling, “Will you look at that golf path?Pure pea gravel.” – Jeff Cesario • William Tell could take an apple off your head, [Phil] Taylor could take out a processed pea. – Sid Waddell • You know, when I eat three peas, I’m pregnant. When I visit a city, I’m buying a house. – Vanessa Paradis • Young people want to look like peas in a pod, and there is no use trying to make them different. – Ilka Chase

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[dulwichdiverter]

Parking an idea

SIMON AND DONNA WADE’S NEW COMEDY SHORT USES A PARKING FEUD ON A SUBURBAN STREET TO EXPLORE WIDER ISSUES IN POST-BREXIT BRITAIN

WORDS BY SEAMUS HASSON; PHOTO BY LIMA CHARLIE

It’s a decades-old battle between neighbours that has caused feuds and mental anguish, not to mention criminal damage. While the fight for the right to park might not be as important as the right to say, shelter or education, across suburbia it has taken on a peculiar significance.

It is also the subject of East Dulwich writer and director Simon Wade’s new short film, Huntington Gardens. Using the battle for car-parking spaces on a residential street as a metaphor for post-Brexit Britain, the film explores the country’s thinly veiled prejudices and generational divide.

I meet with Simon and his wife Donna, who was the cinematographer on the project, at Brick House Bakery to discuss the nine-minute satirical short. I begin by asking them what it is about car-parking spaces that is so emotive.

“I think it may have something to do with the fact that it’s something you have some control of,” Simon says. “It becomes a weird thing that seemingly is quite unimportant.

“You know that whether you park right outside your house or 10 metres down the road shouldn’t really make a difference, but for some reason it sometimes becomes like a mini battle with other people.

“When I started doing research for the film, I began by going on online forums like Mumsnet. People on there were talking about it [parking rights] like it’s the most important thing in their lives. I came across drawn diagrams describing how ‘this person’s parked a little bit over my drive, as you can see my house is here’. Things like that.”

The film was funded by Sky Arts’ Art 50 project and premiered on the channel as part of a night dedicated to shorts about life in post-Brexit Britain.

It has an impressive cast list, including Kacey Ainsworth, who played Maureen Mitchell (Little Mo) in EastEnders, Little Britain’s Paul Putner and former Holby City stars Kelly Adams and Amerjit Deu.

The idea to use car parking as a prism through which to explore the issue of Brexit was already in the pipeline before Simon and his brother Paul, who is the film’s co-director, applied for Art 50 funding.

“We had a concept before this [the funding opportunity] came up, and it seemed like a good way and an interesting way to approach the idea,” Simon says.

“Because it’s so much in the public consciousness, it’s kind of impossible for Brexit not to feed into your work, whether you are aware of it or not.”

“The purpose of the story is it’s supposed to be a microcosm of life in the UK and it could essentially be any street in any town,” Donna adds.

The couple, who met at university, have lived in East Dulwich for the past two-and-a-half years and have worked on several projects together prior to this.

“I actually only got into film when I was about 16 or 17,” Donna says. “I always thought I would like to do photography and then I was introduced to a moving image arts course in Northern Ireland.

“I studied that and from there I found out what a cinematographer’s job was. I thought, ‘That’s something I want to do.’”

Simon on the other hand has been a movie buff all his life, with regular trips to the cinema playing a big part in his childhood.

He and his brother have been making films together since a young age and they both worked for a time at the same production company in their hometown of Luton.

“We’d make home movies together, I guess the same as a lot of people do,” Simon says. “We used our savings to buy a camera and then we started making more stuff between us.”

Huntington Gardens was shot on Simon’s old street in Luton where his parents still live, with his childhood home used as a location.

“With short films you’re always tight for money, even though we got funding,” says Simon. “So the opportunity to shoot in my parents’ street and use their house was a massive money saver.”

“When we speak to a lot of people they don’t really understand short films,” says Donna. “They’re like, ‘You’re not making any money! What do they do? What is the point of them? Why do you put yourselves through that?’”

“But it’s multi-faceted in as much as we’re developing our careers and developing what we do and you’re always learning and trying to improve”, Simon adds. “Short films can act as a kind of step-up, a calling card.”

When I meet Simon and Donna, it’s the morning after Theresa May announced her resignation, in what was yet another landmark moment in the ongoing Brexit saga.

With the country divided and no solution obvious, could art provide more clarity than our politicians are currently doing?

“It just started to bring out a lot of divisions within the country,” says Simon of the 2016 referendum. “I don’t think they were new divisions that came out of nowhere; it just really highlighted them.

“Bringing it back to the film, it’s the idea that on a street, you’re maybe not talking to the neighbours very often other than a ‘hello’ in the morning, and maybe behind closed doors you have a different perception of people than the one which you show out in public.

“So, the idea of car parking and car-parking spaces acting as a metaphor for Brexit, bringing out all those hidden divisions and preconceptions, that was what we were looking to do.”

“One thing though I feel with the story is that many years from now you could still watch it as a standalone film and not feel that you have to necessarily relate it to Brexit,” Donna adds.

“There are underlying themes, it’s not overtly saying it’s about Brexit, we don’t talk about Brexit in the film, so over time the metaphor could take on a different meaning.”

While the couple both voted to remain, Huntington Gardens avoids making narrow political points, focusing instead on the broader picture and the effect that the referendum has had on the country as a whole.

“The stance we were taking [in the film] was simply that there is a lot of hysteria that has been brought up around the issue,” Simon explains.

“Whether you’re remain or leave, you can probably agree that it’s been a shambles, so it was that which we were trying to look at.”

To watch Huntington Gardens online, go to skyartsart50.tv/projects/huntingtongardens

[gigsoupmusic]

Video director Ashley Jones on promo production under lockdown

Ashley Jones moved to London from his native Wales to make it as a musician, but it was as video producer that he would make his mark.  He's been responsible for 50-odd promos for many of the underground music scene's finest, from William D Drake of his childhood cult heroes Cardiacs to Hurtling and Stephen EvEns. Lockdown may have put paid to many a musical plan but it it's not stopped Jones from staying busy, switching - with the aid of his children - to animation and capturing clips using his phone.   Here, he tells us of what got him started, what he's proudest of and what he'd like to do next, if and when life ever returns to normal. Hi Ashley,  how are you coping in the lockdown?  We’ve seen some quite impressive pictures of your new beard on social media…. As a family we’ve coped remarkably well.  We’re lucky to have a garden and we get on annoyingly well.   However, I am now more beard than man and I have no real exit strategy. Your love of rare and fine whisky is also well documented on your channels – we hope you’re not overdoing it! Four years ago I setmyself the goal of becoming a whisky bore in six weeks.  I dramatically overshot.  In 2018, Sue (the bionic Chaos Engineer who works with me on most projects) and I went on a trip to Islay, the Hebridean home of peated whisky.  It was like Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and I was Augustus Gloop. Making music videos must be difficult in these circumstances.  But we see you’ve managed to produce one for ‘Dustbin Man’  by Stephen EvEns that has surfaced recently.  It’s a mixture of animation and performance, tell us about the process. I normally have a set of rules that I follow when I am making videos.  Lockdown has meant I have had to temporarily abandon some of those. We had been discussing ‘Dustbin Man’ for a while prior to Lockdown.   The song is so relevant to these times that I felt we really should get the video done. https://youtu.be/WpymrHhq85o It crossed my mind that an animation could work.  Apart from anything, animation frees you to use sets and locations that are otherwise unavailable.  We had always wanted to have (singer/guitarist) Stuffy in these scenes and animation allowed us to do this. I did some sketches and created an animatic to show how the video would work. https://youtu.be/2LGOTzENsrE I often shoot little demo videos when I have an idea in mind.  I knew Stuffy would have a phone but not much other video kit.  So I shot my own demo using natural light and my phone to check that the approach and look would work. https://youtu.be/_AYB04WEZug Stuffy did a brilliant job of filming himself which made my life so much easier when I was putting him into the scenes. I got my daughter, Seren, to turn my drawings into images I could animate.  My son, Bryn, is also into animation and I asked him to provide the walk cycles for the binmen. I had booked a week off from my day job to go on holiday to Scotland (obviously) in the first week of April.  Obviously, we couldn’t go so I spent that week in front of the computer working on the video.  I love the moment when things start to coalesce from a bunch of bits into a coherent whole. Stuffy and I chatted using Facebook’s video calling so that we were able to bounce ideas around.  But it was pretty quick given the nature of the work.  It’s a great song, and “Employee of the Month” is a great album. I did the gatefold photo for the album artwork and I was thrilled to receive a copy of the LP last week.  I am hugely proud to be a part of it. You’ve got another animation – or at least part animation – in the pipeline with Micko & The Mellotronics’ ‘Psychedelic Shirt’.  Without too many spoilers, tell us about what’s involved. Micko and I have worked together several times now.  We were initially introduced by Mikey Georgeson from David Devant & His Spirit Wife.  The first time we met was in a pub in Kentish Town where we talked about our common love of Florian Schneider and Gibson Les Pauls. Micko is very much a storyteller and he has a strong commitment to narrative.  We are working with an artist to create the artwork for the video and I am going to be using some new tools to create the animation.  I am hoping this will make the animation more dynamic and musical.  I am still working on the animatic; working with a defined narrative makes this phase a bit more work, but I think it’s going to pay off. You seem to strike up relationships with certain artists and work on a series of promos.  That must give you a certain freedom to experiment…. I’m not in it for the money.  Thank God.  There are two things I love about making music videos.  Firstly, the initial conversations about what the video is going to be.  Some of my videos have been 100% my idea.  Some have been (nearly) 100% the artist’s.  My favourite ones are the 50/50 ones where we thrash ideas around in a pub or café.  Preferably the former. The other thing I relish is the problem solving during the filming and editing:  “How am I going to make this happen?”  I love those moments when the seemingly impossible becomes reality. Tell us a bit about yourself – your background, first musical loves and what made you pick up a camera. Short version:  Moved to London to play in a band.  Never quite made it.  Got my first real camera when my kids were little and mainly took pictures of them. Musical loves:  Early Adam and the Ants, Sex Pistols, early Human League, Fad Gadget, Kraftwerk.  The centre of my musical universe since about 1989 is Cardiacs.  Everything stems from there since then. We know you also work as a photographer – which came first? I made some music videos for my own band in the late 90s.  From around 2010 I started taking photos at gigs; I’d also done some studio photography with my brother-in-law, Lann.  We started using “The Chaos Engineers” name back then for the studio work. But I got into making music videos all because of one evening.  Roastfest was a gig put on by Kavus Torabi’s “Believer’s Roast” label at the Camden Unicorn on November 12, 2011. I took photos of almost everyone playing.  One of the bands was ThumperMonkey.  They liked the photos and I offered to do a studio shoot for them.  We did that shoot and it went well.  Michael Woodman, the lead singer and guitarist, is also very interested in film-making.  Mike had offered to make a video for Knifeworld, Kavus’s band.  He asked if I would like to be involved and nothing was ever the same after that.  I have worked with pretty much everyone who played at Roastfest at some point.  Mike is a hugely talented man and someone with whom I love working. Any videos you remember seeing that made you think ‘I want to do that!’? Cardiacs' “Tarred and Feathered” was shot by the people who made The Tube but it was my great audio-visual epiphany.  My sister remembers me seeing it when it was live on telly and it immediately and permanently blew my mind. https://youtu.be/NVjSycDJatc Tim Smith is a brilliant video director as well as my favourite music maker.  I have to use that broad term because he does it all. I love Anton Corbijn’s photography and videos.  I also think that Bjork’s videos are astonishing.  I mentioned my rules earlier.  One of these is that the artist has to be at the heart of the video.  Madness wrote the book when it comes to “video as vehicle to define the band’s identity”.  I want my videos to showcase the artist – because that’s what all my favourite videos do. What was the first promo you shot?  Any memories? The first one I worked on was for Thumpermonkey’s “Wheezy Boy” which Mike Woodman directed and edited.  All my footage was overexposed, but Mike never complained.  I remember being stunned by how brilliant the actors were.  I have only worked with actors a few times; that was the first. Tell us a bit about who else you’ve worked with…   I was a huge Stump fan in the 80s and am extremely proud of the video for “Rubberised” that I did for Prescott, Kev Hopper’s band.  I think it’s the most technically innovative thing I have done. Looking at my YouTube playlist, I am shocked to learn that I have made more than fifty videos. I’ve loved pretty much all the songs and artists I have worked with:   Hurtling, Simon Love, Knifeworld, Awooga, The Fierce And The Dead, Arch Garrison and Cesarians. I have also collaborated heavily with the brilliant Richard Larcombe on his Lost Crowns project. You’ve worked with William D Drake I believe….  Are you part of the Cardiacs fan cult or was this strange world new to you? I really am part of the cult.   I have compered at the last two Alphabet Business Conventions.  Which means I talk in a loud voice before the bands come on and quietly stand next to Tim Smith at the side of the stage for most of the show. They played Distant Buzzing on a big screen at the ABC months before it was released and it was my most “goosebumps” moment when it was shown.  Hugely exciting. I saw Cardiacs loads of times and still miss the transcendental experience of throwing my hands in the air to the strains of Big Ship. I also love Bill’s work and my personal favourite Cardiacs material is the stuff from Bill’s time in the band. You’ve also shot with a few well known comic actors – Kevin Eldon, Paul Putner, Suzy Kane….    That must have been fun. Micko has an amazing capacity for getting great people to work with him.  So it’s flattering that he also works with me.  Kevin, Paul and Suzy were all delightful to work with and it’s been fantastic to have the chance. https://youtu.be/_5iswf8GG6o When we shot Schmescos with Kevin, Micko’s brother, Hollywood director Wash Westmoreland, was standing next to me.  Wash was also utterly charming.  It was an amazing few hours and I felt like pinching myself.  I still do. You have a penchant for the Hitchcock-style cameo too – is that a deal breaker?! I have tried to get myself in lots of the videos.  My kids particularly like my cameo in Distant Buzzing.  I am there at 3:05.  I’d like to be in all of them but sometimes I forget because I am so busy on shoot days. Any other highlights of your career we’ve missed out – It was fantastic to be at RAK studios in November when The Spammed recorded their version of Get It On.  It was six weeks before Neil Innes’s sad passing and it was wonderful to meet such a kind, talented and funny man.  I took mostly candid stills of conversations between the band and the also-amazing Tony Visconti.  Again – I was pinching myself for weeks. Finally, if you could pick one artist alive or dead you wish you could or could have worked with, who would it be? I would love to have worked with Fad Gadget/Frank Tovey.  I met him – and this sounds like a pattern – six weeks before he died.  I love his work and would love to have worked with him.  And always, always, always Cardiacs’ Tim Smith.  But I don’t know what I would bring to the party with Tim because he does everything so brilliantly himself.

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[thetuppenny-blog]

What?? This old thing?? Oh it’s just that time Phil Jupitus dropped by for a couple of after show beers with his mates Paul Putner (aka The Curious Orange and loads of other brilliant telly stuff) and Dave Gregory (XTC/Tin Spirits guitarists and general rock royalty). I’ve got no idea why I challenged him to arm wrestle me!! What a lovely chap and he keeps excellent company!! #craftbeer #swindon #philjupitus #swindonartscentre #standupcomedy #littlebritain #XTC #renegadebrewery #thetuppenny #swindependent @renegadebrewery (at The Tuppenny)

[womeninmovieswearinghats]

Yolande Moreau and Paul Putner in Paris, je t’aime (2006)

Direction: Sylvain Chomet (segment)

Costumes: Olivier Bériot