#ParentingKidsInPain

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Programs to Treat Children in Pain

An updated list of resources and 100 programs that treat childhood pain.

Tonya Palermo is an outstanding researcher and practitioner working with children in pain. She wrote a terrific workbook that is essentially a pain rehab program in a book – Managing Your Child’s Chronic Pain. Working with the International Association for the Study of Pain’s Special Interest Group on Pain in Childhood, she maintains a list of resources for academics (which I think are great for…

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Beating yourself up about parenting?

It's tough when your child is always in pain. And it takes TIME. Don't beat yourself up. Focus on the things that are most important to your child. Love. Routines. High standards.

I have studied parenting on five continents for close to four decades. I’m also a mom — the mom of two sons, one of them who is very sick. I know what it is to beat yourself up about not being a perfect parent.  But too many parents beat themselves because they are trying to meet two entirely different, incompatible, and unrealistic standards. Most parents – and I’m going to focus on mothers…

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Balancing Challenge & Support

Developmental psychologist Urie Bronfenbrenner argued that three things are critical for kids to thrive: the maximum of challenge & support and one person who is crazy about them.

Urie Bronfenbrenner was one of the giants of 20th century developmental psychology. One of the founders of HeadStart, Urie had many favorite sayings about raising children. In additional to studying children for more than half a century, he also had five of his own. Urie Bronfenbrenner in the Cornell Nursery School One person who is crazy about them One thing that fascinated Urie was trying to…

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NYTimes Says There's Never Been A Better Time To Have a Headache

A NY Times article argues there has never been a better time to suffer from headaches. We are finally getting taken seriously.

Sunday’s NY times published a front-page article on headache. It talked about the decades (centuries) of neglect of headache disorders – a disease identified as one of the most disabling diseases in the world today. It talks about the FINALLY rising awareness of the seriousness of these diseases.It talks about new headache treatments – CGRP – and our new understanding of migraine as a…

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The 1step2life Podcast

Follow 1step2life on five major podcasting platforms. A podcast for people living with chronic pain and parents of children in pain.

1step2life: For those living with chronic pain and the people who love them. Honest talk for people living with persistent pain, chronic illness long COVID or other complex medical conditions. Dr. Nancy Darling is a psychologist who studies adolescent parenting and the mom of a son with severe chronic migraines. Living with chronic pain or illness shrinks your world, limits your social life,…

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Podcast: Parenting a Child With Migraine

Dr. Nancy Darling talks about her experiences as a mom when her son was suddenly overwhelmed with pain from severe chronic migraine. Her work as a psychologist led to the development of the 1step2life app for children in pain and their their parents.

I am so honored to be interviewed for the Living With An Invisible Injury podcast.  Listen here: https://open.spotify.com/episode/6XKewmmW7AAKnQ2sVxWVWP?si=JyFZgMQLTYKGzPSpYJ5ouA&dl_branch=1 Interested? Follow us! Subscribe Check out the 1step2life app! Start where you are. Set your own goals. Take back your life. A tool for tracking goals, emotions, and success, not just logging pain. And…

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Keeping What's Good About This Crazy Year

This is the time to reflect on what worked better for you during the pandemic and begin negotiations for more flexible school and workplace conditions. #accessibility #spoonies #accommodations #SpoonieKids #ParentingKidsInPain

This year of COVID has been a year of loss. Loved ones. First dates and coffee with old friends. Shared worship. Beach parties. From the profound to the trivial. For many who live with complex illnesses or who struggle to get out of the house and make it to school or work, it’s also been a time of revelation and maybe of anger. I know for me, I was angry. My son had barely made it through high…

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Challenge, Support, & Love

The worst thing we did when my son's migraines devoured his world was letting him withdraw to his bed alone in the dark with his pain.

Pushing my son to go to get out of bed when he was in pain was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I knew how much he hurt. But we both knew that the worst mistake we’d made when he first got sick was to let him withdraw from the world and into his bed. The light hurt his eyes. The cat walking across the room made him cringe from the sound. So he started with sunglasses and ear plugs. Then…

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How Do Doctors Build Trust?

How Do Doctors Build Trust?

Doctors, patients, and caregivers all bring something different to the table. All contribute to healing.The patient has the lived experience. It is their body. Their life. It is their decision what they decide to do and take from the relationship in the hope of moving forward. The caregiver brings support. Often – especially when it’s a parent caring for a sick child – they bring endless hours…

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When Your Child Says They're In Pain, Believe Them.

When Your Child Says They're In Pain, Believe Them. Only they know what they feel. Believing them builds up your relationships allows them to keep going because they know you have their back.

One of the hardest things about invisible illnesses is that they’re – um – invisible. No one can see them. Only the person who has them knows they exist. The most common chronic pain conditions in children and teens – headache, migraine, gastrointestinal problems, skeletal issues – are trivialized. That’s pretty awful. Anyone, anytime, can just call you a liar to your face and say you’re…

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Supporting Parent of Kids In Pain

Parenting children & teens living with chronic pain is tough. Caregiver Mode is unique to 1step2life. It supports effective coaching so parents can help their children while building & maintain healthy relationships.

I’m reading a book called The Midnight Library, by Matt Haig. It’s a fantasy – a parable really – about regret and depression and building a better life. Sounds odd for a book I picked because it was billed as ‘a feel good novel’ about a life well lived, doesn’t it? Did I mention that the main character’s cat dies in chapter 2? And she committs suicide by page 24? (She gets better.) But it is,…

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Quieting Your Inner Voices So You Can Hear What They Say

Calming Your Inner Voices So You Can Hear What Your Child In Pain Says

Nothing is more distressing than listening to a baby cry. I’m not just saying that about me. There’s a lot of research on the topic. When we hear a child in distress all we want to do is make it stop. Their hurt makes us hurt. I don’t think that ends when they’ve grown. I watch my son in pain and all I want to do is take it away. My distress – my very read pain – can be good. It motivates me to…

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We're on Spotify!

We're on Spotify! 1step2life is posting many of our blogs for spoonies, folks with chronic pain. and parents on Spotify. Because sometimes it's just easier to listen than to read.

https://open.spotify.com/show/3s1IG8nIkT0M79hk9tb0J7 Are you a fan of podcasts? Would you rather listen to the 1step2life blog than read? We will be podcasting many of our essays on Spotify. They’re also available directly through Anchor. Follow us! We will be adding new content as it comes out and slowly recording our catalog. Like what you read? Get a weekly digest of our posts. Follow…

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Can Stoicism Make You A Happier Parent?

Stoicism isn't about suppressing emotions. It's about investing your energy and happiness on what is in your power to control: intentions, thoughts, and focus. All parents can use a bit of this. #parenting #Stoic #guilt

Confession time I feel guilty. Why? Because there are times I feel I’m failing at my most important job: being a mom. My son hurts all the time – and I can’t protect him.He is having a hard time transitioning gracefully to adulthood. He struggled to make it through high school – it’s tough when you miss over 100 days of school a year. It’s been hard for him to work regular hours. Pain spikes…

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Assemble A Rescue Kit For Your Next Pain Spike

When pain spikes, it's hard to think clearly or well. Assemble a rescue kit to help track pain meds, keep your go-to's together, and remind yourself of things that help relieve pain, distract you, or you get through when things are bad.

I walked into my son’s room this morning – it was immediately obvious it was one of ‘those’ days. Light sensitivity. Migraine spike. Fog. You know the gig. So I asked my usual self-care questions: Did you take your rescues? Water?Salt?Magnesium oil?Daily meds? “Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.” No eye roll (thank you, son!) but exasperation in the voice. Of COURSE, Mom. I know what to do. Except I…