#Pakistan2015

[prettyplaces-and-unseenfaces]

Bahria Town, Lahore, Pakistan🗼

[khanambano]

Lali

We all chipped in money. I think 1 rupee from all my neighborhood friends. 

Earlier that day I went with a formal proposal to Lali’s home. I said it as officially, in the words that elders use “I am here to ask for your Gudda’s (male doll) hand in marriage for my Guddi (female doll). It’s so humorous to look back because at the age of 8 or 9 I was going thru the motions of what I have seen and heard the adults do around me when arranging a nuptial between two humans. Only in my mind it didn’t matter that tradition dictates the male’s family to bring the proposal over to the female’s family. I guess kids don’t worry about stuff like that.

In any case, Lali- my best friend at that time had agreed to the marriage. Now it was time to collect the money so we can buy a cone of Henna for the mehndi, and buy Tulsi (candy) and Papars (orange crisps) for the wedding. I didn’t want to look under-prepared at the Baarat, so I went the extra mile. We had grape wine in our yard. I collected some of the best and biggest leaves and put a few tiny pieces of Tulsi and some Red Peppers and Salt, Sugar, and tied them with a string to look like Paan (this was a unique creation invented buy us since we weren’t really allowed to eat Paan). Lali went ahead and asked her mom to cook White Rice and I believe she served it with Chatni at the Walima. We had no patience for carrying out the wedding in three separate days as it’s done traditionally. We did all three events, Mehndi, Baraat and Walima in a matter of hours.

It was a grand ol’ wedding. We invited all the neighborhood girls that were our friends and we sat on a cot and sang songs. Lali did the dolki. Then came time for Ruksati (part where the girl- in this case the female doll- leaves to the Grooms home). I flipped! This meant I was losing my doll and not gaining anything in return. I said no way! This is unfair and I should have them both too. I don’t know how but we decided we will just rotate them between us every two days.

This is one of my most profound memory i have of my childhood best friend. Lali and I did all sorts of crazy things together. Her roof was connected to mine and I would just hop over to her home and spend hours with her family. She has six sisters and one brother. At that time we were of the same socioeconomic status. To be frank, I never realized we were so poor but then again, I was a kid and everything was provided for by my parents. I guess, comparatively to others around us we weren’t in such a bad condition. 

In December, 2000 my family was preparing to leave for America. Lali and I made promises to each other to write regularly. I made those promises with all my close friends. I’d say “Lali when I go to America and settle there, maybe you can come visit me.” She would get excited and then we would go back to playing whatever game we were playing. The day I was supposed to leave to America, I invited all my friends to sleepover. We were to leave in the middle of the night. We all knocked out but when my parents woke me up to get ready for the airport- Lali woke up with me. She even came to the airport with me.

Once we were in America, I wrote to her once. That is all I remember. After that I had no communication. That is not to say I didn’t know what was going on with her life. Growing up I’d here news here and there. Then I heard she got married at the age of 17. Later, I found out that her only brother died in a Truck accident. Then I heard that her husband passed away. I would here snippets of news here and there and sometimes I would even reflect at the friendship we once had. 15 years later, this April i actually got to meet her again.