#PYSCHE PYRAMID

[guysgrotto]

When we think of pyramids Howard Carter springs to mind - and the airbrushed images that removed phallic strap ons the ancient priests attached to mummys before a public ritual where the priestess mounted publicly in order for the crops to be good.

Studies seem to show the alignment of some pyramids reflects the seven stars above the Nile.

This maquette on this face shows the journey of pysche.

[yanderes-galore]

It's never really elaborated on, but Silent Hill does change depending on who's in it, usually reflecting either darker parts of their pysche or their fears. Pyramid Head being a manifestation of James's guilt and The Bogeyman from Downpour being a manifestation of the protag's directionless rage and refusal to accept his own failings and actions, instead blaming the world around him.

Sorry for the lore rant, I just really like the series.

I like the series too.

Surprisingly I actually really liked Downpour besides the bugs.

Like that one side mission you couldn't do for whatever reason.

[awesomegaydar-a]

Write a meta about how Santana feels about Finn. It’s not really brought up until he’s gone, so I’m curious!

SEND ME META TO WRITE ABOUT!

it permutes from time to time, season to season, episode to episode. its hard to ground santana’s true feelings about finn into a few paragraphs, but i’ll try.

i’m a firm believer of santana and her careful calculation of her stance in mckinley’s social ladder (you can see a post referencing this and her “relationship” with sam here) and while finn was always strictly off limits during the time he was dating quinn, santana was highly aware that when it came down to the top of that pyramid, finn hudson was the number one candidate to climb to the top. we actually don’t see santana and finn interact much in season one – whether it has something to do with santana being a secondary character and retained to comedic relief or their vague friendship as a whole, its not really relevant. in fact, the first time finn and santana interact is in Hell-O, when sue encourages brittana to break finchel up as a way to sabotage the glee club, and promptly coarse him into going on a date with them at breadstix, a date that turns out into a total disaster because brittany and santana are more interested in insulting him and the glee club than pretending to be interested in him (see: ‘finn’s cute, but not hot’). then again, we see them interact a second time in The Power Of Maddona, which was the infamous episode where finn loses his virginity to her in a sketchy looking motel room, after she convinces him by revealing the nature of jesse and rachel’s relationship to him, thus taking advantage of his emotional turmoil. it means nothing to both of them and santana seems more interested in dinner than what had just happened between them (although finn shouldn’t take offense to that – santana was having her own struggles at the time).

its not until season 2 when they have more solid interactions. the second season is a mess, especially emotionally, when it came down to santana’s feelings for brittany and her popularity. as early as 2x04: Duets, we know santana has continued a sexual relationship with brittany, but brittany is very obviously developing feelings for santana that she feels she can’t return. that’s where finn comes in again. not only does breaking finchel up seem like the more plausible option to keep herself distracted, its also the perfect way to secure her stance with the cheerios now that she’s been demoted to the bottom of the pyramid and quinn snatched the captainship by stabbing her in the back. she’s angry because rachel is getting all the solos, she feels like she can’t trust quinn anymore, things with brittany are complicated, and she’s no longer “top bitch” within the mckinley high cheerleaders. so, when she reveals her very fleeting affair with finn to rachel in Special Education, she ultimately achieves her goal: social destruction. because when santana is upset, she self destructs, and brings everyone down with her. including finn hudson and the rest of the glee club. particularly rachel berry.

as for the rest of the season, santana spends her time plotting against quinn fabray and finn hudson (i.e: revealing their adultery to sam after giving them mono) or making fun of him ( “you have weird puffy pyramid nipples, they look like they’re filled with custard, you could dust them with powdered sugar and they could pass as some sort of dessert”). i wouldn’t really say that she considered him a friend just yet. to her, especially in the first two seasons, high school was a very well calculated game of chess, and finn was just a pawn. so what was finn to santana in season 1 and 2? two things: 1) a way to secure her popularity and her spot in the cheerios (with quinn fabray out of comission she was surely the best candidate for that captainship, therefore had to follow sue’s every order), and 2) a gullible boy she could mess around with and play with his head.

season 3 is a whole different ball park. ultimately, its the season that could’ve marked the demise of finn and santana’s friendship. the very obvious and memorable scene in the hallway in Mash Off was the culmination of santana’s continuous name calling and bullying that she perpetuated in an attempt to pysch finn out of the competition. we actually don’t see santana be that mean to finn until she joins the troubletones and therefore become rival glee clubs, and while i can’t make much sense about the rest of the episodes (particularly I Kissed a Girl), i can say for certain that santana had a lot of anger, anger she didn’t know how to express, anger she had repressed for so long that eventually led to her slapping him across the face after performing Rumor Has It/Someone Like You. so why was santana ready for forgive him so quickly? why did they hug during We Are Young in Hold on to Sixteen? why didn’t santana lash out?

because she had too much to lose, because she had parents to come out to, she had a very conservative grandmother to worry about, and most importantly, she had brittany. her shining beacon of hope in the midst of her emotional turmoil. picking a fight with finn would only make things worse, it wasn’t gonna resolve anything, and it would only lead to more anger and frustration. but there is also something people forget about santana: she’s a very forgiving person, even more so than brittany and her other peers. she’s aware that people can make mistakes and although they might not be justifiable, she can find it in her heart to move on. forgive and forget. which is why she’s so willing to call finn in season 4, when she finds out brody is a gigolo, to get rid of him once and for all.

in short, it means one thing: they had solidified a friendship; they weren’t the best of friends, but they were on good terms by the end of the fourth season, even if their interactions were heavily limited, and in season 5 we learn that santana cared about him, because he was a “nicer person” than she ever could be, because he cared about people (like walking behind her when she sat on a piece of chocolate cake so no one would think she crapped her pants), but that ultimately, if finn didn’t think she was a good person, he wouldn’t have been her friend.

santana lopez cares, god does she care about her friends and the people she considered her family.

i hope that sums it up!

[petalsmooth]

Doesn’t it?

Meditation is what I did in college. Learning how to relax mentally and physcally, clear head space and importantly how to breathe. Even more importantly...it was free.

This cult preaches you can talk to spirits, become an empath, attain spirit blessed vitamins, have energy channeled from the universe through someone’s hands or eyes or whatever to heal you and advance in rank by spending money and recruiting more members. It’s a cult and a pyramid scheme. 

No lame troll copying and pasting lingo from pop pysch sites to try to appear intelligent is going to succeed in labeling this as anything but a scam that hooks vulnerable people with promises will fix what ails them.

Oh my god it’s official, you’re a complete moron. Reiki isn’t a cult you cur, it’s a form of meditation. How stupid are you and Petals? Hours of research and that’s what you think Reiki is? Another fact pulled out of that fat ass of yours? You’re so fucking dumb it’s not even funny it’s just pathetic.

Dude, a) already know you’re the same loon (now mercifully fully blocked for the moment)

B) fully detailed and discussed, multiple times, including yesterday. But yes, obviously you know moar than quackwatch, journal of scientific medicine, etc.

Try to keep up moron

[survivingsusac]

Adulting Update

Vitamins

We’re going to start today off on a weird note. I go to a Curves gym because fitness is important. I may be not the most mobile person anymore (thanks a TON Susac) but still, health is important. At the gym a person tells me about this vitamin supplement that has changed her health and has improved her quality of life. She’s like, let’s set up a call and you can learn all about it and get some and be healthier. I found out the name of it and do some research (that’s Adulting 101) and find out the stuff is absurdly expensive and less bioavailable (read: your body can’t use but 18% of the nutrients in the pills) than the liquid vitamin that I have access to that are half the cost (which are 98% bioavailable). I let the lady know that while I appreciate her sentiment, I will let the professionals and specialists in Susac Syndrome be the ones to guide me through whether nutrient supplements will heal my autoimmune disorder. Spoiler: they won’t. I will take my liquid vitamins, though. Be healthy, y’all.

Welcome home, Link!

On another note, I am still totally hyped about the awesomeness of my local bike shop.

The guys never fail to be friendly and welcoming when I walk in. Ken greets me by name today and says you’re here to pick up Link, yes? Why yes, Ken, yes I am. You’re going to let me pay you guys today right? Recall, they have (1) replaced my saddle, (2) patched my flat rear tire, (3) ordered me two new tire tubes, (4) installed the correct tire tube, (5) replaced my saddle post. All at no charge so far. And today Ken let me pay him today, a whopping…drum roll please… $37.55.

These guys are like legit superstars.

Baclofen

We’re changing subject to include stuff about badass doctor Egan who can no longer be my doctor because he got a new job (remember him? He hasn’t been brought up in a minute).

So my UCD neuro immunologist who is supposed to replace him (PYSCH, because no one could ever adequately do that) began me on a new drug (Rx), Baclofen. It’s a CNS suppressant that was intended to help my wacky gait (it’s a spastic gait). Well, long story short, it did not. It made me super sleepy which I don’t have time for in my life, and a fall risk. It was the complete opposite of what she lead me to believe it would accomplish for me.

I send her literally three messages over a month requesting responses to my concerns. No response, nothing. So I do some research and safely and successfully wean myself off the Rx. I finally get an appointment with her to follow up and she tells me that based on the increase in symptoms, I am experiencing a relapse.

She asks me what I did last time I had a relapse. I let her know that I’ve never had one before, that my immune systems’ response to this Rx that it’s never encountered before seems to have sent me into my very first one. She sets me up with a five day pulse of this infusion called Solumedrol, AKA methylprednisolone. Today is my last day of that. Tomorrow she has me taking oral prednisone for 18 days.

My thoughts are, “This had better work.”

Now, circle back to Egan.

My mom/rock and I go out to dinner with him Monday night. We’re just chilling eating cheese burgers and of course, he can’t take off his doctor hat. He's watching me walk through the restaurant, asking me questions about my alleged relapse, and doctoring me between my complaints to him about his decline in Pokemon Go activity. He’s seriously been slacking lately.

Anyway, apparently, relapses can’t be confirmed without quantitative data. Relying only on reports of increases in symptoms is qualitative. NOW we’re talking; speak science to me.

MRI

So about a month ago, this new UCD neuro immunologist who Rxed me Baclofen had ordered a series of MRIs. Brain, C-spine, and T-spine. Here’s our qualitative data.

I never acted on those things because UCD charges things like facility fees, technical fees, and procedural fees that aren’t covered by the copay that I pay already at each appointment. Heads up, they also don’t dislose the estimate of the cost of these things unless you specifically ask for it. When you do, everyone points fingers and transfers your calls for days. By the time you finish doing their jobs for them you find out that it will be something like $2k for your care. And why does the hospital charge for things like facility fees (rent for the room the appointment takes place in), technical fees (that’s the computer the doctor charts your notes on during the appointment), and professional fees (that’s the other radiologist or doctor who reads the imagery or test the doctor orders)? Because hospitals are a business at heart and need money to survive. Patient's money.

Your girl can’t afford thousands of dollars for the hospital to just make money off of patients. Go charge someone with expendable cash, not someone trying to live off of $400 a month.

But now I’m searching for the least expensive way to get these MRIs done for this quantitative data for bad ass Egan. ‘Cuz we all know that he’s going to ask me about the images once they’re done. I couldn’t get rid of him now, probably not even if I wanted to. Eventually, thanks mostly to my GP at Sutter, I found a place that will save me $500 so I’ll only have $1.5K to pay. I’ll be paying the bill until the end of the year. But eh, such is life.

Speaking of money

I signed up for my own dental insurance coverage. So far in my life I’ve been covered by my mom because I was a minor and then by my husband because I was married to the useless pile of flesh and asked for coverage for myself and our daughter. She was five by the time he got around to it. Useless. Pile. Of. Flesh. But now I am not a minor and I am cutting free from the useless pile of flesh! So I get to adult and get my own dental insurance! So I want to keep my dentist because I love him tons (medically speaking) and Lee’s been my dentist since I was like 10. First I talk to his office about the type of insurance he accepts. Then I call the insurance company and talk to Gilbert (no, not Gilbert Blithe) and we talk about options and financial commitment and the types of procedures covered. Within the day I have chosen the best coverage for myself! I call my dentist and let Kathy know that I have been adulting and I am pumped to announce that as of October 1 I will have my own new dental insurance! She gives me a metaphorical high five. Again, she’s known me since I was 10.

The Moral of the Story

Adulting is hard work.

Beware pyramid schemes that want you to commit to costs and promises without bonafide science. Do your research. It may take a minute but knowing what people are trying to get you into, whether because they are honestly trying to help or because they are unaware of what they are presenting you with, is crucial to making wise decisions. Picking up Link now that he is up to 100% after the battle he has unexpectedly given me was relieving, especially given how awesome the bike shop has been. That bike shop was a happy accident but I am SO GRATEFUL that it has worked out so well!

Don’t let up on doctors when they stop making contact with you. I’m looking at you, UCD. Hold them accountable for the oath they took when they began school.

Also, keep those hospitals in check. Be thorough about your bill, regardless of if it’s itemized when you see it. When doctors order tests or imagery ask questions and get things in writing, when possible. Make yourself familiar with your health insurance policy and its limitations and expectations. Do your due diligence when you’re after answers. Take notes, record that names of the people you speak to. And keep track of phone numbers you’re given.

Guys, if it sounds like a full time job, that’s because it IS. I can’t tell you how often I’ve had to bow out of tutoring sessions for school for five minutes, take calls while in the car and someone else is driving. If you know you’ve got adulting drama coming I suggest you keep a pencil and paper with you for notes at all times. I think the only things I haven’t interrupted are classes and doctor appointments. It’s a commitment, for sure.

And please, have your own back when it comes to insurance. Check out your options, compare them to your needs, and make wise choices. This is something I’m going to have to do next week when I explore health insurance opportunities. As per usual, I’ll keep you updated!

Surviving Susac,

Aurora