#PURE ANGST

[nimnia]

𝐡𝐨𝐩𝐞𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐥𝐲

pairing ── kim minji x female reader

summary ── you're so hopelessly in love with her, and yet she doesn't feel the same. it was your fault. your fault. now you ended up throwing the prettiest yet dangerous flowers in all universe.

contains ── pure angst, non-idol au, sensitive topic, hanahaki disease, blood roses, vomiting, sister hyein

taglist ── @flyingcigarettes

[masterlist]

── ── ꒰🥀꒱ ── ──

you stare emptily at the bloodied roses on your bathroom floor, unaware of tears falling and the numbing on your bottom as you sit on the tile. your hair feels sticky, your hand is covered with your blood, and the huge hole in your heart is incurable.

you feel so exhausted. you couldn't think straight, but all you could think of is her. you can't feel anything properly, but all you can feel is your heart breaking into pieces. you can't understand yourself why— why you still continue to love her.

she's married. she's happy now, and doesn't care about your hidden feelings for her. 'because why would she?' you thought mockingly to yourself. you never revealed how you felt for her, and this is your consequences. your karma.

it hurts. it hurts so much to see her smiling with someone else other than you. it hurts to see her lovingly kiss someone she truly loves. it hurts to know that the love of her life isn't you, and it only broke your heart even more.

you let out a shaky short breath, fluttering your eyes shut slowly and letting the anguish pain overwhelming you more. your blood that covers your hands and some parts of your body burns so much. it feels so hot and painful.

but it's normal. this is nothing compared to the first day you had this disease— a disease called hanahaki.

─────

"y/n, please get it removed. you have to live!"

you glared at hyein, who didn't mind your glare and only glared back. you felt annoyed, and you made it clear in your face. hyein sighs deeply, shaking her head in disappointment.

"you know, you're so annoying!" she scowls at you, but couldn't help feeling more worried about you and your disease.

you sigh tiredly, wiping the tiredness from your eyes. "hyein, please. can we not do this today?" you start. the younger girl grimaces at the raspy sound of it. "why not? you're not going to change your mind if i don't remind you about it."

you scoffed, "hyein, i'm tired, okay? i just finished work and i want to rest. i don't want you nagging at me today, so please." you pleaded, covering your eyes as you dropped onto your bed while hyein stood by the door frame with crossed arms.

"you're a stubborn person, unnie." she sighs, "if you're too cowardly to confess your unwanted feelings for her, then get surgery! you," she points at you, still glaring at your form. "better get it solved or else i'm making an appointment for your surgery."

you groaned frustratedly, "fucking hell, hyein. can't you just leave me alone?!" you can't help but feel so frustrated. you feel so irritated. you just couldn't tell why she couldn't leave you alone for a second.

you removed your arm from your eyes and scowled back at her. "unwanted feelings? you have the audacity to call my feelings unwanted? i can solve my problem just fine, hyein. stop trying to provoke me."

hyein wordlessly rolls her eyes, before throwing you a small paper bag. you barely caught it because your mind couldn't process anything properly, but it landed on your lap. you raised one brow.

"what is this." it wasn't a question that came out, but you didn't care. you hold it up and watch your little sister scoffing unkindly. "your medicine, idiot. take it now before you vomit more."

then she leaves you alone, not even closing your door for you.

somehow, your eyes softened a bit at her aloofly kindness towards you. even with your ridiculous and stubborn state, she still cares about you and takes care of you.

you were grateful. you appreciated her more than anything else. you look down and open the paper bag to see the certain medicine for your disease. unfortunately, it was only a painkiller, but it was enough to ease the painful ache and constant vomiting, along with terrible headaches.

you take it out and stare at it absentmindedly before you glance at the cup filled with water on the side table by your bed. you let out a small sigh, ruffling your hair before walking up from your bed to take the cup.

you throw one painkiller pill into your mouth and drink the water afterward.

─────

seeing her again tightens your chest painfully, but you tried to keep holding onto your smile on your face as she approached you excitedly. "y/n!" she calls out, lunging at you with a tight hug.

you wordlessly hugged her back, your hands didn't hold her waist like you used to. you were giving her space and respect, and considering that you still hold feelings for her, you tried not to have as much skin contact as before.

"hey, minji." you greet, smiling as you pull away and she holds your arms with a gentle gummy smile. your heart flips, and you feel your ears burning under her gaze.

"how's the start of your married life? was it spicy or what?" you teasingly asked, ignoring the burning ache of your heart as you asked that question. she laughs heartily and sneaks her hands from your arms to your hands.

you wanted to pull away, but she kept drawing you to her. it was unfair. she's cruel, so cruel and horrible. the way she gives you a smile— you knew it wasn't for you. it wasn't always for you. that's why you have to stop being so hopelessly hopeful.

"my married life is fantastic. it was.. really beautiful." you couldn't look away from the red hue coating her mesmerizing face. your heart kept flipping and turning, in every way it was starting to hurt.

you tried to keep your smile natural, "that's amazing, minji. i'm glad you're enjoying your life with her now." you yearn for her. you yearned every piece of her. you wanted her to know how you feel for her, but you just feel so— terrified.

her eyes softened, pursing her lips smiley. "thank you. how are you? are you still doing the job and college?" she asks, still holding your hands in which you desperately wanted to pull away before you start feeling the flowers growing inside your throat.

you coughed slightly, your smile slowly turning strained but you kept it strong.

"yeah. i'm doing just fine! it was a bit difficult managing my job and college, but overall, it was..." you feel the particular cough coming, inhaling once. "it was amazing." you ended, feeling tortured and terrible after lying to her face.

but she didn't seem to notice it, only her smile widened and nodded understandingly. the fondness and affection in her eyes glows, "i'm happy for you. i'm happy that you are doing so well, y/n."

you only nodded. then minji remembers that she was holding you back from your shift, "oh, are you still having your break? maybe i'm disturbing you," she said out of concern, tightening her grip with yours.

you shifted awkwardly. you shake your head, "no, not really. i still have a few minutes of break, so you're good."

she sighs, "i think i should let you go for now." i should say the same. you cry internally, still feeling the cough building up in your throat. you wanted to go to the restroom.

"i guess so. my manager is a bit strict, cuz you know..." you laugh awkwardly, trying to loosen your hands from hers. eventually she releases you and smiles at you sheepishly, "right, sorry about that. i guess i'll talk to you soon?"

minji questioned, watching as you wear your apron once again, pulling your hair up into a bun. you had long averted your eyes away from her, not wanting to make eye-contact with the married woman as you finished tying your hair.

you pat your clothes, "yeah, talk to you soon. you can wait for her in a bit, since she's almost done." you quickly informed her before walking away, unaware of her reaching her hand to you as you leave her alone.

on cue, the bassa nova music plays in the background as the lights dim gently inside the bar area. walking around the counter, you let out a sigh before noticing your co-worker looking at you with gentle eyes, resting her chin on her hand as she leans her elbows on the counter.

you gave her a smile, "hi, hanni." you softly greets.

she returns the smile, much softer and gentle. "hey, love. is your break finished?" she leans away from the counter and stretches, letting out a little noise of satisfaction. you nodded, working already on the drink your customer orders.

she greets the customer with a smile, and goes to assist the other approaching customers, though she was still talking to you. "how's big dillyman? is he doing good?" she asks, a bit far from your spot but you can still hear her question.

a small smile sticks on your lips, "yeah, he's doing great... that dog is big, so there's no way a cancer can defeat him just like that, y'know?" hanni laughs fondly, nodding as she shakes the metal bottle together with the drinks inside with ice rattling.

"right, right. he's like 20 pounds? man, i really remember how he made me fall on the floor when he lunges at me, it's crazy!" your smile widens, laughing with her as you gave the drink to the customer, who thanked you genuinely before sipping on it.

"20 pounds might be too much for him, hanni. he's just as big as a toddler, i guess." you responded, assisting the next customer who sat on the bar stool, patiently waiting. you took his order and immediately worked on it swiftly.

"hmm~ maybe, maybe not. whatever, he's still a big dog and a good boy at that. you raised him so well!" hanni giggles and gives her customers the drink before wiping the counter where she makes a little mess.

you chuckle, squeezing the slice of lemon over the juice you made before serving it to your customer, who sniffed on the drink first and hums in satisfaction. he gave you a thumbs up and you returned it with a shy one before turning to hanni who was removing her apron and loosening her hair tie.

you smile sadly, "your shift is done?" you asked as she hangs the apron over the hanger, turning to you with a large smile and a nod. she walks over to you and kisses your cheek playfully, before squeezing your cheeks, cooing as she does.

"yep! i'll be back tomorrow morning though, since the mingle manager is out to have a day with his family. understandable but he should raise my salary just a bit, like bro." she jokes as she pats your head before leaving the counter with her bag.

you watch her as she turns to you and waves at you with a smile, "i'll see you tomorrow, love! stay safe once you get home!" you nodded with a small smile and waves calmly, watching as she left the counter area.

your heart clenched to see her jumping on minji and kissing her cheeks, giggling as minji scolds her playfully before kissing her forehead. your throat felt much tighter than before, and you could truly feel the cough coming up as they leave together with hands interlocked.

you could see a glimpse of their wedding rings glimmering under the lamp lights on the entrance door.

─────

after your night shift, you immediately head home and as soon as you landed inside your home, you suddenly collapsed on the floor and violently coughed up bloody roses. you heaved heavily, trying to catch oxygen but it didn't stop the coughing at all.

blood drips from your nose, and your heartbeats increased the pace that it was starting to feel overly suffocating. it hurts so much. it hurts to breath. you buried your face onto the floor, continuing to cough blood and flowers.

then you laid there, heaving for air desperately. tears never stopped falling, mixing onto the blood you had violently coughed up earlier. your limbs quivers in pain and shock, chest raising and lowering rapidly. blood had stopped dripping from your nose, but it was still burning hot.

you wanted this to stop, you wanted to stop this madness. this pain. you couldn't bear doing this anymore. you wanted to breath, but you couldn't. you wanted to think, but you couldn't.

it feels so painful.

you can only cry silently on the floor, drowning in your pool of blood and red flowers. your consciousness slowly tries to fade away, your sight dimming little by little and the feeling on your limbs have felt numb.

you couldn't hear the door opening and a scream erupting from your little sister, hyein.

'hyein... i'm sorry you had to see me like this. i'm sorry.' was the only thought in your mind before you completely passed out.

── ── ꒰ end ꒱ ── ──

[mionemymind]

Never Enough

Summary: The aftermath of Wanda cheating on Y/n.

A/n: Felt inspired after watching a bomb ass movie :) Gif credits to the wonderful @dreamlonelywolf

Warnings: Cheating with Vision, Cursing, Pure Angst, No Happy Ending, No Part Two

Word Count: 471

Masterlist

“What can I do to fix this? Please - I know I messed up. Please let me fix this.” It was a pathetic sight to see Wanda beg Y/n as the two quietly argued in the parking lot. Many onlookers were nearby. Y/n already felt embarrassed enough by her wife. She didn’t need the judgment of others. 

But as more people passed, it felt like everyone within a mile vicinity knew. They all knew that Wanda cheated. Everyone did besides her.

“Don’t act like you want to fix this now, Wanda. You got caught - again. Grow the fuck up.” Y/n shoved her bag at the back seat and slammed the door shut. 

Wanda stepped in front of Y/n, using her body to block the driver’s side door. She instinctively reached out to grab Y/n’s hand. “Don’t.”

Y/n backed up slightly, hands away from Wanda’s reach. “I want you out of my fucking life, Wanda. Don’t fucking text me, call me, or reach out. I’m getting a fucking divorce and that’s the last you’ll ever see of me.”

“Please - just let me talk-“

“Talk about what?! How you keep going back to him?! How this is the third fucking time you’ve got caught?! How nothing I will ever do make you fully love me?!” Getting into Wanda’s face, the red head could feel the anger dripping out of Y/n. The vein in her neck could practically burst at how mad she was. 

“If that’s what you want to hear so fucking badly, then save it. I’m tired of all the lies. You want him? Have at it. I could care less anymore.” Taking off her ring, Y/n shoved it into Wanda’s hand causing the girl to stumble back in shock. 

Using this opportunity, Y/n got into her car and locked the door immediately. Wanda tried a couple times to get it opened but failed. She tapped on the window, trying her best to get Y/n’s attention.

“I love you,” Wanda whispered, but the blank stare that Y/n held terrified Wanda. This was the point of no return. This was the last time she’ll ever see Y/n. And that scared her.

“I’m staying at Emma’s. I won’t bother getting my shit. You can have it.” Wanda’s jaw clenched at the mention of the blonde. Someone she knew had such a strong love for Y/n. Wanda scoffed and shook her head.

“Fine - go to her like you always do.” Finally looking Wanda in the eye, Y/n showed no emotion, having gone completely numb at the memory of Vision fucking Wanda.

“Don’t patronize me, Wanda. I don’t need two people to feel complete. But clearly you do.” Not waiting for her response, Y/n drove off forever out of Wanda’s life. 

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@msmothermaximoff @ielliesitchyeyereposts

[nomoreusername]

TMR Characters Do The "Do They Make You Laugh?" Trend

Thomas:But does he make you laugh?

Y/N:He's not always falling in love.

Newt:But does he make you laugh?

Y/N:He trusts me enough to come to me.

Minho:But does he make you laugh?

Y/N:He doesn't hurt my feelings.

Gally:But does he make you laugh?

Y/N:He doesn't lash out at me when I help him.

Aris:But does he make you laugh?

Y/N:He can tell when girls aren't just being nice.

Teresa:But does she make you laugh?

Y/N:She knows what she wants in life.

Brenda:But does she make you laugh?

Y/N:She opens up to me.

Sonya:But does she make you laugh?

Y/N:She doesn't look at Aris the way you do.

Harriet:But does she make you laugh?

Y/N:She doesn't put her work first.

[mm-lurking]

It's too late - Blade

Angst, angst and angst. Because I wanted to write pain. I tried a new perspective so apologies if it's confusing!

Warning: Blade x fem! reader, there is literally not a single drop of comfort in here, it's pure angst. I am not sorry

WC: 2238 – The tension is suffocating at the Exalting Sanctum in the Xianzhou Luofu. It is so thick you could cut it with a knife. The sun is hanging low in the sky as Blade stands on the other side from the Astral Express members and the general of the Luofu, Jing Yuan. No words are exchanged but enough emotions are conveyed through the glares and stiff body language from everyone in front of him.

Blade calmly observes the people. There is backup from the cloud knights behind the general and the Astral Express. He glances at the battlefield and takes note of the extra backups on the adjacent side of the general. As usual, this fight will be nothing more than child’s play; after all, taking out several enemies in one go was his bread and butter. The cloud knights weren’t even worth his attention, for they were just training dummies in his eyes.

“Member of the Stellaron Hunter, your games have come to an end. Drop your weapon and surrender.”

Jing Yuan steps forward as he speaks with authority. There is a glint in his eyes that only Blade understands, it’s a glint that asks him to quietly comply with whatever the general is planning. Both parties know that he cannot be held hostage, for Kafka would save him one way or the other. Besides, Jing Yuan’s past with the wanted criminal would mean that no matter what, he could never be in serious trouble on the Luofu.

“You impede me.”

Blade scowls. If it was just Jing Yuan and his pathetic guards, he could have handled it alone, but why was the Astral Express here too? This was supposed to be a Xianzhou Alliance situation and it had nothing to do with the outsiders. A soft zap fills the air when he conjures his sword and points it towards the general, ready to fight. He narrows his eyes when he sees how the general nods his head and smiles. Things were going his way indeed.

“It appears that communication will not suffice any longer. My friends from the Astral Express, get ready.”

Jing Yuan sternly commands his companions as he also gets in the position to fight. Yet when he’s about to draw his sword he’s stopped by Dan Heng who extends his arm out.

“General, you haven’t recovered from Phantylia completely. We will take care of this. I’m sure Stelle, March and I can handle him. Besides we have all the backup we need, you needn't get yourself involved.”

“Confident aren’t we today?”

Blade mocks from the distance and Dan Heng snaps his head towards him, frowning. An evil grin slowly appears on Blade’s face as he confidently walks closer with his sword ready.

“Traitor of the Xianzhou,” He says wickedly, “how about a rematch-!”

There is no time for Dan Heng to prepare as Blade rapidly starts to attack him left and right leaving no room for him to think. The swords clash loudly with one another as they go back and forth with each other. Even with March 7th and Stelle aiding, Blade evades one hit after the other, skillfully wielding his sword to deflect their advances. Fury is evident in his eyes and his mania for revenge is crystal clear from the aggression he displays with his weapon.

Everyone moves out of the way as they both battle their way through on the ground, afraid to get involved. Dan Heng manages to warn the others to not interfere as he single-handedly struggles to keep up with Blade. The hostility between the two is too dangerous for anyone to be dragged in. Their exchange is like a dance, a dance of danger and death with the loud noises of their weapons being the melody. It doesn’t take long for the Vidyadhara descendant to get cornered by the Stelleron Hunter as he struggles to push the man off.

“Give up.”

Blade smirks as he watches the man struggle to push his weapon away. Jing Yuan, who had been carefully watching from a distance, chooses to intervene now as he rushes over and aids Dan Heng. The battle continues once again, this time with Jing Yuan being the receiver of Blade’s blows. The general manages to push Blade back to his original spot; the sounds of their swords getting sharper and louder with each strike.

“Blade this is enough.”

“Hmph.”

He sighs knowing he can’t get past Blade’s stubbornness. They both continue to fight endlessly, neither one willing to put down the sword first.

–

The wind whizzes past your face as you sprint as fast as possible to find Blade. At this time of the day, you would usually be heading back home from work. However, a moment ago Stelle messaged you, informing you of the conflict between Blade and Dan Heng, urgently pleading for your assistance. You agreed as there was nothing more important than stopping your man from killing his archnemesis. You rush to the location, panting and wheezing as you go up and down the flight of stairs and the maze-like corridors to finally arrive at the scene.

You are appalled by the sight in front of you. Several cloud knights are lying around on the floor injured while the others have retreated from fear of getting involved. The Astral Express members are in one corner trying to stop their male companion from joining the general to fight Blade. Your eyes finally land on Blade, who is effortlessly battling Jing Yuan with a psychopathic smile on his face. Chills run down your spine as you try to figure out what to do without getting caught in the heat of it. Unfortunately for you, fate has other plans.

Dan Heng refuses to stay put as he pushes Stelle and March 7th out of his way, stumbling to get to Jing Yuan. On the other side, Blade who hasn’t stopped striking even once, sees Dan Heng out of the corner of his eyes and grins. Without a word, he distances himself from the general putting enough space between the two so he can lift his sword and hurl it towards Dan Heng.

You watch in horror as the sword flies through the battlefield, its course set to hurt the Vidyadhara. Instinctively you bolt towards Dan Heng, using your body as a shield to prevent him from getting hurt. Everything happens so fast, yet you feel like your world is in slow-mo. You manage to interfere just in time as the sword flies halfway in its path and pierces you instead. The momentum makes the sword push through your skin and organs and comes out from your back causing you to stagger. You want to yell and scream but the agony and pain make your throat locked, unable to breathe or say anything. You hear Dan Heng shout your name but his voice feels so far away as your mind goes blank and eyes widen. The yelling makes Jing Yuan turn around and Blade freeze up when his eyes land on you. All three men are stunned as they look at what has occurred.

–

“..!!”

His world is spinning. Everything around him is a blur in his eyes as he dashes forward, past Jing Yuan, to catch you in his arms right as you hit the ground. His mind is racing full of thoughts, confused and shocked as to where you came from and how he didn’t see you. The look of horror doesn’t leave his face as he stares at what he has done; his sword has impaled through your body completely like a fishball on a skewer. Blood leaks out of you like a waterfall, spreading through your clothes, his hands and the floor. You cough out blood and it trickles down your chin, falling on his fingers. The sight is too gruesome to see even for him, yet he cannot look away.

“B-blade…”

You say very weakly as you look at his face. Your voice is so soft that even the subtle breeze threatens to carry it away.

“You…!”

He manages to choke out, holding you tightly in his arms. His gaze flickers all over your body trying to make sense of your situation. Your fingers loosely cling onto his coat in an attempt to consolidate him.

“It’s ok…love…”

His heartbeat is through the roof as he watches you struggling to speak. You slowly lift your bloody left hand and he latches on to it immediately, tightening his fingers around your shaky palm. There is a small smile on your face as you gently brush his cheek with all your strength.

“Don’t-”

He’s struggling to find the right words. What can he say? What is there left to say?

“I love you…”

His eyes widen when you say so and he shakes his head.

“No, don’t- don’t-” You both know you don’t have time left. You cannot be saved but he refuses to believe it. “Please don’t-”, he continues, “you can’t-”

Tears spill from your eyes as you stare into his crimson eyes for one last time, admiring the mysteries of his depths that you never got to fully explore in this lifetime. You muster your final breath and slowly speak.

“I love you very much…”

The hand on his cheek drops on the floor with a loud thud and his breath hitches. The tiny smile on your face recedes and your eyes close as your body goes limp. He shakes you gently trying to wake you up.

“?!?!”

He yells out your name in distress. Despite his attempts, you don’t wake up. He desperately shakes you over and over, pleading for you to open your eyes one last time, for you to speak to him once more, for you to just smile at him once again, to wake up and tell him it’s a joke or that it’s just a bad dream he’s having but alas, you have departed to a place he has spent his cursed life seeking and hopelessly wishing for. Death had come for you before him and once again he had to watch another loved one leave him alone in this empty world full of lies and deceptions. You, the one thing he considered to be the light in his darkness, the star in his empty sky, had also dimmed.

Jing Yuan and Dan Heng come over quickly, still too staggered to process everything. They look back and forth between Blade and you with no words good enough to speak. He continues to hold you tightly, unwilling to let go of you even if seeing his sword in your body breaks him in ways he cannot comprehend.

“Bla-”

“Leave us alone.”

He says weakly as he stares at your now peaceful face. Your eyes are closed and you look so calm as if a giant sword wasn’t anchored into your body. His bloody hand finds its way to your cheek and he softly strokes it, cherishing every touch he has remaining.

“Blade you have to-”

“I said leave us alone!”

Blade yells out at the two men, his voice hoarse from the events that have unfolded. Anger and pain swirl in his bloodshot eyes as he tries to keep himself under control. He turns back to look at you, his eyes softening once again.

“She’s gone….”

He mutters to himself, still holding you tightly. Jing Yuan stays rooted in his spot for a while before gesturing for his knights to leave to give some privacy to you both.

“She wasn’t supposed to be here…where did she come from..?”

Jing Yuan watches his long-time friend mumbling quietly, unsure if he should say anything.

“I killed her…I did this.”

“It was not on purpose. We didn’t know she would get caught in the middle of this.”

The general finally says something, carefully picking his words to not aggravate the swordsman. Silence falls once again and Dan Heng gestures at Jing Yuan to leave with him.

“She needs to be buried soon, Blade. Call for us when you’re ready.”

They give you both one last glance before walking away with the other two Astral Express members. There is an unsettling calmness in the air as everyone leaves the two of you alone. It wasn’t supposed to end like this. It was just supposed to be the usual antics between him and the general. He only had to spar with Dan Heng, have the general interfere and then make his escape. It was supposed to be as simple as that without you involved. He was supposed to meet you at Aurum Alley at sunset yet here he was, holding your dead body during sundown.

Blade is not a man of emotions yet he finds his eyes becoming misty as he continues staring at you, unable to move or speak. He struggles to breathe, heaving while trying to process your death, replaying your fall over and over like a broken radio. Fate truly enjoyed playing its cruel tricks on him, making him dance around like a puppet on strings. He was imprisoned in a glass jail for eternity as he watched everyone live out their dreams while his faded away. No matter how hard he tried to find happiness in his cursed immortal life, it was always snatched away. He looks at you one last time, caressing your cheeks before kissing your cold forehead gently.

In this lifetime, he was never meant to be happy. ⋇⋆✦⋆⋇ ©mm-lurking 2024 do not copy, steal or reuse my work.

[thehusbandoden]

Welp I just found this in one of my many drafts-

(Warning: angst, mention of murder, blood, betrayal, being used, manipulation, gaslighting, the sorts)

~~~

Tears form in your eyes as you stare at the man that you have dated for months stare down at you, his once warm honey-colored eyes hardened with a freighting coldness. You struggle to breathe as you feel surrounded by the stench of blood- your comrades, your friends- the people you thought were *his* comrades and friends.  

Dead on the floor beneath you- killed by *his* hands by *his* freewill- you felt sick. “I thought you were one of us.” You whisper, your voice hoarse from the roller coaster of emotions.  

“Don’t be silly, y/n.  You should have been smarter.” He sighed, glaring down at you like he was disappointed- as if he expected better. “Well, there‘s a reason why I had to drag you into dating me.” He added with a shrug. He started walking towards you, his foot crushing a fallen comrade.  

It felt like a punch to the gut.  

Your hands were shaking as you ready your quirk, prepared to fight back. “So all of those months... all the time we’ve spent together? It meant nothing to you?” You whisper, your voice broken from emotion.  

“They weren’t nothing... they were annoyances.” He rolled his eyes. Your heart throbbed.  

~~ I'm gonna try to make something out of it lol. Lmk if you're interested/wanna be tagged if I ever do write anything for it

[salmbtchtrials]

"Don't tell me this didn't mean anything to you. I was there, I saw the way you looked at me."

[ghulehthezombiequeen]

stay with me - swiss ghoul x reader

masterlist.

Author’s note: Hey ghesties I was in the mood to write some heart-wrenching angst because I love it sm, also this is my first ghost fic I’ve ever written so yeah hope you like it and requests are always open :) also any ghouls I write for are to be read as the characters, not the people behind the masks. Enjoy!! 

Other things to note: reader’s gender is not mentioned, reader and swiss are in an established relationship, reader’s mental health is not the greatest, reader has a black cat named Jiji, reader is in the 3rd year of college.

Warnings: ANGST ANGST ANGST, slightly suggestive towards the end, hurt/comfort, no pronouns used for reader (swiss calls reader 'baby')

Word count: 1569 words

You had secluded yourself in your room, fuming. You and Swiss had just had a massive argument, the whole time you just felt arguing with him was pointless; but he wouldn’t give up. This time he had really hurt you, saying that if you weren’t going to support him, maybe you two should break up. Jiji, your teeny ball of adorable darkness, trotted over to you and rubbed its head on your leg. You sighed and picked him up, holding him close to your chest. You gave him a few kisses and he mewed as you sat down on your bed. 

“..Jiji.. what am I gonna do.. he won’t listen to me..” You whispered softly as you pet him. He mewed again in response, softly purring on your arms. You chuckled lightly, then felt a few tears welling in your eyes. 

“This whole thing just feels like…” you trailed off, mostly talking to yourself. You sniffed as tears started to fall. “..Maybe he’s right.. y’know?.. Maybe I am destined to be alone forever…” You held Jiji a bit tighter, trying not to cry.

Suddenly, as if he had a sixth sense, Swiss barged into your room. “Baby.. baby, I’m so sorry.. please don’t cry.. I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean it..” He said quickly, rushing over to hug you. Jiji leapt from your arms and laid on the bed, right on your pillow. 

You stood up as he wrapped his arms around you, hugging you tightly. You sobbed into his chest, your hands holding onto his shirt tightly. 

“Shh.. I’m sorry baby, I’m so sorry.. I didn’t mean to say what I said, I’m so sorry..” Swiss whispered, rubbing your back soothingly as you continued to cry. After a few minutes of crying, you had calmed down a bit and started to speak. “..S-Swiss, I-“ 

He cut you off by placing a soft kiss to your lips. You stood in shock for a few seconds, another tear falling down your cheek. You kissed him back gently. “Shh.. ‘m so sorry, baby.. I never meant to make you feel alone..” He apologized over and over as he pulled away briefly to look into your eyes. 

“…if I’m being honest.. maybe you’re right..” You started, looking down. “..you know I don’t have enough money to follow you everywhere for your tours.. and then there’s my schooling..” Your voice catches in your throat as it hurt to say those words aloud. 

“…Wait.. What? What- what are you saying, love?” Swiss stared at you in shock and confusion. He had never thought that you would’ve actually thought of ending your relationship with him. 

“…y’know.. maybe we should take a break.. you’re always gone and.. and I need someone to be here for me, physically, for when I need hugs.. you know what I mean..?” You whispered, still looking down. It broke your heart to say those words, but maybe it really was for the best. 

He froze, his heart shattering inside his chest. His eyes got wide as he just looked at you.

“A.. A break…?” He stuttered, as if not believing what you said. “What do you mean? You want to... You want to... Be... Be away from me.. When I’m here..?” He asked, his voice sounding scared and he felt his eyes welling up. 

It broke your heart to see how badly your words had hurt him. 

“Take a break…” he repeated to himself, as if the words had just registered into his brain.

“But that means... That means... No more... No more... Kisses? No more... hugs... No more... Cuddling...? No more Jiji..?” His voice cracks towards the end of the sentence, now starting to cry. “Why…?” He asked, trying to stop you.

“Please... Please don’t do this..“He looked at you as if he was begging and his eyes were filled with desperate tears... He didn't want to do this, he didn't want to let you go. 

You looked back up at him as you heard him start to cry. 

“..I- I’m sorry, Swiss… b-but if you think that might be best-“

“No! No, I don’t think that’s the best!” Swiss exclaimed immediately. “Look, I- I let my temper get to the best of me, okay? I’m sorry I said that.. I didn’t mean it. Please, baby, don’t go.. I need you..“  He pleaded desperately, now starting to sob as well. 

You just stared at him longingly, feeling very guilty as you watched him cry. You started to cry as well, bringing a hand to your moth to try and stifle your sobs. “Please... I'm sorry... I'll do... I'll do anything... Please…” He begged again, holding you tighter. You sniffed. “..’m sorry, Swiss.. I’m so sorry..” You pulled away, wiping your tears. He stared at you in shock, deeply hurt. “..W-What do you mean..? You’re not… you’re not breaking up with me.. are you..?” He whispered. 

“I…” You were at a loss for words. You couldn’t bring yourself to actually break up with him. He was too perfect. You felt so terrible for doing this. “..Please.. don’t look at me like that..” You silently begged. He smiled sadly, caressing your cheeks with both his hands. He looked at you for a moment, then he leaned closer and he started kissing you tenderly, his lips meeting yours passionately and softly. He wasn't trying to be too quick, he just wanted to feel your body against him. He wanted to feel safe and loved by you again. 

You let out a soft whimper as you felt him kiss you. You stepped back a bit, but kissed him back softly. You pulled away briefly. “…Swiss.. I…” 

He stayed quiet for a few moments, but he kept kissing you. He was slowly picking up the pace, feeling you against him as his lips went down to your neck. “You're so beautiful... I missed your skin... I missed everything about you…” He whispered. He put his arm around your waist and he smiled, his eyes closed. For a few moments he felt safe and he felt free, he felt like nothing bad could happen now that he was with you again.

“Mm… S-Swiss.. please..” You put your hand on top of one of his to pull his arm off your waist, but instead it lingers. He looked at you, not believing you were still trying to end it. He was hurt so much that he didn't know how to answer you for a moment, he stayed silent. He started to open his mouth to say something, but then he closed it. He couldn't say anything... He felt like his words were trapped inside his throat. 

“Why…?” He asked softly. “Why do you want to... Break... U-us…?” He paused and his voice started to break now. He was about to cry again.

“Please, baby... Please... I love... I love you, I…”

He choked on his words and he covered his face to muffle his cry. “I can't... I can't do this... I can’t… I need you, baby..”

In that moment you regretted everything. You hated hurting him, and it just broke your heart to pieces to see him like this. 

“I’m so sorry, Swiss.. I’m so sorry.. I didn’t mean to hurt you..” You said in a quiet voice, hugging him tightly as you sobbed. He was held you as tight as he could without hurting you, his voice sounding broken and almost whispering.

“I love you…”

He kept looking at your face as he kissed you and he tried to make you happy, to make you stay.

“I.. I need you... Please, don't... Don't leave me...

He was caressed your face, and he kissed you again, a little more passionately than before.

“Please... Please... Baby…” He mumbled between kisses, and you felt his tears fall as well as yours. He was desperate and he didn't want you to go. 

You kissed him back with the same passion, feeling terrible. Your arms wrapped themselves around his neck, pulling him in closer as you two continued to kiss each other, both still crying. “I love you.. I’m so sorry, Swiss.. I’m so sorry..” You repeated every time in between kisses. 

“I love you... I love you…” He repeated his words, his voice breaking again as he continued to kiss you.

Eventually he backed you up to the bed and you both sat down, still giving each other short but passionate kisses. You pulled away, sobbing. “..I’m sorry.. I didn’t mean to hurt you… I feel terrible..” Your voice cracks, and he wipes your tears, disregarding his own. He smiled sadly. 

“..No, no… Don’t be sorry.. I’m the one that should be sorry.. I made you feel like I didn’t want you anymore.. I should’ve controlled my temper.. I’m so sorry.. Will you ever forgive me..?” He pulled you into his arms again, having you sit on his lap. You buried your face into his neck, holding onto his shirt tightly, letting a few last quiet sobs out. He rubbed your back soothingly, not caring that you got his shirt wet. “Shh… it’ll be okay..” He whispered. “..Will you ever forgive me…?” 

You nodded. “Yes.. yes, of course.. of course I forgive you. I love you.” You whispered with a smile. 

He smiled contently, resting his head on yours gently. “Thank you…” he whispered, continuing to rub your back and humming softly soon after, lulling you to sleep. 

[blossom-works]

Next Time, Okay?

Request (anon): Hi!! I saw your post about the Leon Kennedy fanfic ideas, I was wondering if you could do one with this prompt? https://vt.tiktok.com/ZSLKCFKUE/ if not then that’s okay!!🫶🫶🫶

A/N: I'm a sucker for some good angst. If you have a Leon Kennedy fic idea or a Kylian Mbappe one, I'm taking requests. Just no smut, please🙂

---

Breakups are tough. Especially when you really loved that person. For humans, letting go of anyone or anything is hard. Naturally, humans add sentimental meanings to their relationships with people and objects. It is one of the qualities that makes a person, a person. Breakups can happen because of a multitude of reasons. Cheating. Losing interest. Different beliefs or views. Toxicity.

In your case, it was a mutual breakup. You and your now ex, Leon Kennedy, came to an agreement that your relationship just will not work. He is too busy to be in a committed relationship and you like stability. You like knowing when your significant other wakes up to go to work and you like to know what time they will be coming home every day. The spontaneous up and leaving and the trauma that comes with it are just too much for you to handle.

Leon knew this too. It was too much additional stress to worry about you. Sometimes Leon just wants to come home without having to answer questions or be coddled. He just wanted to be alone in those moments. The two of you care too much about each other to stay in the relationship, only for it to result in bitterness and resentment. Neither of you wanted to hate the other. If you really think about it, you sort of knew the relationship with Leon would end eventually. Leon knew that too.

It still hurt though. You two cared about each other a lot. You made each other happy. You only get to feel that kind of special love a few times in life. When the breakup happened, the two of you hugged for a long time. In the middle of your living room. Just hugging. Wishing that things could have been different. It was a sad breakup but a needed one. When you went to bed that night, you just laid on your bed, staring at the ceiling. You cried too. You knew that Leon wanted to cry too but he is just too good at hiding his sadness.

During your relationship, you realized that Leon kept his emotions in check. You never saw him cry or heard him weep. You knew when he was sad, but he never wanted to talk about it. No, that is not right. Leon could not talk about what had bothered him all those times before. He is a federal agent so he is lawfully forbidden to talk about the missions he goes on. That was the one part of Leon he could never give you, and the one part of Leon you could never touch.

Getting over the breakup was even harder. You have had to refrain from sending Leon a "good morning" text. It sucked. You sort of kept to yourself for a while. You did not go out with your co-workers for dinner or a small get-together. Every now and then you would catch yourself crying in the shower.

It was hard for Leon too. You were his one chance at normalcy. Fighting BOWs for a living was not where Leon thought he would be when he signed up to be a police officer. Can he even call himself a former officer? His first day on the job was also his last. It hurt Leon to let you go. You were so innocent and Leon wanted to protect that innocence. It was not until recently that he began to see how if he stayed with you, he would be doing the opposite. Seeing him distraught without any knowledge of how to help him was destroying you. Leon did the one thing he needed to do to protect you from the ugliness of his world.

You are a civilian. You did not need to know the horrors Leon knows. Maybe it was the remaining piece of his younger, naive self that wanted to be an officer to help people, that possessed him to make a choice. Watch you blossom into a gorgeous rose from the horizon, or watch you wither away in the palm of his hands. No, Leon loves you too much for that.

"Leon?"

The half-drunken man turns the swivel bar chair to find you standing a couple of feet from him.

"Hey. What are you doing here?" Leon is so happy to see you in all your beauty. You still look the same but happier. Good. This is what Leon wants to protect.

You hold up a brown, paper bag that is stamped with the bar's logo. "I just came to pick up some dinner." You look at Leon's hand that is gripping a crystal glass of dark liquor.

"Another one?" Leon nods. You knew Leon had a drinking problem. He always drank when he came back from one of his missions. It died down a little when you got together, but he still drank a lot for comfort. It was in those instances that you were clueless about how to help him.

You sigh in pity and take a seat next to him, putting your bag of food on the counter. The bartender offers to take your order but you decline. Like second nature, you hold Leon's other hand in a comforting way.

"So, how have you been?" Leon asks.

You nod your head. "Good. I've been doing good. I got that promotion I talked about and I moved to a better complex. Oh! I even got a pet bird!"

Seeing you excited about getting a bird makes Leon smile. He remembers you talking about wanting one but the place you used to live in did not allow pets. You have always loved birds for some reason. Often times you would compare Leon to an eagle. It was even your nickname for him.

The two of you sit in silence for a while, still holding hands. Leon's palms feel more callous than before. You guess he has been keeping himself busy on those missions he can never talk about. Then, Leon breaks the ice.

"Can I tell you something?" You nod. "I still love you."

You take a deep breath to control your pounding chest. If the two of you were not in a public setting, you would have cried then and there.

"Do you still love me? Should I let you go or try again?" Leon needs to know. He needs to know how you feel because it will determine how he lives the rest of his life. The pity look you give him is a good enough answer, but he needs to hear you say it.

"If I'm being honest, a big part of me will always love you, Leon. But I don't think I love you like that anymore. It wouldn't be fair for either of us to go back."

Leon nods. Good. This is the answer Leon was hoping to hear. He cannot bring himself to be selfish enough to sacrifice your happiness.

"I know." He says as he tightens his grip on your hand. "I just want you to know that I'll always be grateful that you were part of my life. I think I'm in the same boat as you too. A part of me will always love you, just not in the same way I used to."

You lay your head on Leon's shoulder. Seeking comfort while simultaneously giving it. "I'm grateful too, Leon." Your voice wavers. "You'll always be special to me."

"So...Maybe we'll be able to work out in another life?"

You nod. "In another life..."

Leon lays his head on yours, still not letting go of your hand but loosening his grip. His drink of whiskey was long forgotten.

"Hey?"

"Yeah?"

'One last time.' Leon tells himself.

"I love you."

"...I love you too."

Maybe in a life where Leon Scott Kennedy is not fighting bioterrorism, can you two be together. No bio-engineered creatures to fight. No secrets to keep. But right now, this eagle still has to soar through the neverending sky before he can be set free.

[hearts4leeknow]

pushed away || lee minho (leeknow) x reader

Warning(s): no comfort (at least not in this part), hurtful words unrequited love uses of y/n (pls im sorry idk what leeknow is supposed to call reader) SWEARING!!!

Genre: angst

Summary: you two have been bffs since forever, you two know everything about each other. well not everything.

minho has yet to tell you about the fat crush he has on you, he’s scared it’ll ruin everything so he thinks pushing you away will solve this situation, but it only makes it worse. he ends up loosing his bff the one he loves in the process.

leeknow x reader

!!LOWERCASE INTENDED!!

a/n: just got a random idea based on nothing!

you and leeknow were inseparable, you two told each other everything… well maybe not everything.

what he didn’t tell you is that he liked you, like was an understatement, more like love you. of course he couldn’t tell you what if it ruined years of friendship, what if it makes it awkward what if he gets rejected. he hated rejection and he can’t bare loosing such a precious bond. his feelings for you only surfaced a few months ago, he realized he liked- no loved you when he had gotten extremely sick due to sweating and performing in the rain making him super weak and unable to walk properly due to dizziness. so you took care of him, everyday made him food and soup, tried to make his sick days less cloudy and more sunny, and it worked. you made his worst days still feel happy, that’s when he fell for you and oh boy he fell hard. how was he supposed to handle this, now he gets flustered every time you speak to him he can’t continue like this and he can’t just tell you what if-

“minho hyung” han snapped his fingers in front of minho’s face.

“hi” is all he responded with.

“you were zoning out think about…?” han questioned curious of what his hyung was thinking about.

“oh nothing just spacing out cause you’re to boring” he lied with one of his snarky remarks.

“rude!! i am not boring” han pouted while he flopped onto the couch. you walked in talking to felix.

“min!” you smiled seeing your best friend seated on the couch.

“hi y/n” he returned the smile. felix sat down next to han as those two talked you and leeknow had your own conversation flowing.

oh how leeknow was struggling to keep his composure, you looked so cute in the tight short sleeved shirt with baggy cargos. he felt his face heating up but he was good at hiding it.

“min? are you okay you’re spacing out” you looked concerned and confused. minho usually tells you what’s wrong immediately because he knows he can’t hide it from you, but today he just shook his head.

“min, are you sure you don’t wanna talk about it?” you asked feeling a little hurt that he didn’t want to tell you what was wrong, but you knew if it was something personal you couldn’t force it out.

“i’m just not ready to tell you yet” minho mumbled with a slight frown, he could tell you were upset by it.

“it’s okay take your time” you give him a light smile trying to make him feel at ease. little did you know this would be one of the last real convos you would have with him.

—— 🎀 ——

you 🌷: minnie we haven’t hung out in a while! movie night?

min 🐈: i cant im sorry

you 🌷: how come? we barely hangout anymore..

min 🐈: busy

you 🌷: minho cmon you’ve been saying you’re ‘busy’ for weeks now, what’s wrong?

min 🐈: nothing just want time for myself

you 🌷: ok…

you switched off your phone and flopped down onto your bed.

he’s been ‘busy’ for weeks and he’s saying he wants time to himself but he’s had 3 weeks for that

you thought, you knew there was no way he was just busy or wanted time to himself. wouldn’t he have told you what’s up so you don’t worry? does he not want anything to do with you anymore because he finds being friends with you is embarrassing? it hurt to think about it, now what if that’s what he wanted?

no, it can’t be.

that’s what you kept telling yourself but at the 3 week mark it wasn’t working anymore, you kept getting worried and you felt helpless. you’ve had enough and so you called him…

—— 🎀 ——

ring ring ring…

he picked up his phone seeing your photo as the banner with your name ‘y/n (my love💞)’ he read and he answered.

“minho!” you screeched

“what!” he mirrored the energy

“tell me what’s wrong please? i know it’s not just that your busy or need time to yourself, please!” you begged and pleaded for him to tell you, he wanted to tell you trust me he just didn’t know how.

“i can’t” he didn’t dare say more than that, your pleading voice broke him but what else was he supposed to do?

“minho, i feel like i’ve been pushed to the side by my best friend since childhood, we barley hangout together your always ‘busy’. you’re not telling me something, please?” your voice broke mid sentence, you were at your breaking point.

“no, i can’t always hangout with you! i have a busy idol life unlike you.” minho spewed out in an instant not realizing his words until after.

“what the fuck? minho, im busy too but i always make time for you.” you frown when you hear him lash out.

“whatever, your annoying and just a distraction to me anyways” minho scoffs.

“im-im annoying? ive been your best friend for who knows how long, i’ve always been there for you and now im annoying and just a distraction? wow, i thought you were different, minho. i’ve been trying to drop hints that i like you! but i guess all i am to you is a distraction.” you spill out all the emotions that were inside of me, you were hurt and felt betrayed. “i dont think i wanna talk to you after this.” you say my voice was quiet.

“wait-wait, y/-“ you hung up before minho could finish talking.

——🎀——

as soon as you hung up everything came crashing down on him.

you liked him?

he thought, you liked him back and he ruined everything with his attitude and harsh words. hes hurt the love of his life, how is he supposed to get you back after such words left his mouth? angry tears trickled down his face, this anger wasn’t directed to you though, it was directed to himself. hes messed up, and hes messed up bad.

——FIN——

a/n: i dont know why i decided to post this sosososoossoo late!! im so sorry i havent been active, i havent been feeling well lately. but i promise ill have more stuff up soon! 🤞🏻🤞🏻💞

a/n: @sona1800 IVE LEFT MY POOKS WAITING FOR TOO LONG, im so sorry bby you waited to long and it’s not even that good. i hope you still some what like it 💞💞 (lemme know if i should make a pt2 and if i should make it angst or fluffy 👀👀)

[phos-phorus]

Breaking Point - Valewis FF

Valewis fic i talked about earlier!

Won't be able to finish it today but decided to post the first part of it anyway! Please read the warning!!!!

TW/CW: eating disorder, Vomiting

And as always: Any mistakes please ignore or let me know. Thank you!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Valtteri sat at the long table, the buzz of voices around him fading into a blur. The air in the meeting room was heavy with the usual technical jargon, the upcoming race strategy, tire choices, and performance analysis, but none of it sank in. Valtteri was staring blankly at the figures flashing across the screen. The lights where too bright, and the words spoken by the engineers and team principal felt distant.

He hadn’t eaten properly in days, and his body felt it. The tight knot in his stomach was a familiar companion now, gnawing at him relentlessly. The hunger was always there, but the idea of eating, of trying to force food down when everything inside him felt twisted and wrong, seemed impossible.

At least he was weighting less than Lewis now.

His chest tightened as the pressure built inside, a familiar gnawing feeling creeping in. No matter how hard he pushed, how much he trained, it never felt like enough. The weight of never being enough—never quite living up to the expectations, to the dominance of his teammate, Lewis—sat on his shoulders like an unbearable burden. He had been struggling with this for months—long, agonizing months of trying to control something that seemed so utterly out of control.

He was drowning in it, struggling to stay afloat.

But it's his own fault, no? It's what he signed up for all those years ago. Valtteri should be used to it by now. It was part of the deal.

He glanced at Lewis across the table, the man who made everything seem effortless. Lewis, always calm, always composed, with a confidence Valtteri could never seem to find in himself. His thoughts raced, louder than the voices around him.

It's not his fault. I just need to be better. Why can’t I be better?

The room felt smaller.

His palms grew damp with sweat, and his pulse quickened.

His stomach churned, a twisting pain that had become all too familiar. The pressure of racing, of constantly being compared to Lewis, of always feeling second-best, had chipped away at him. The pressure had seeped into every part of his life, his mind a relentless critic.

He could feel the room spinning. His throat tightened, and he knew if he didn’t leave now, he wouldn’t be able to hold it together much longer. He needed to get back into control. Quietly, almost cautiously, he rose from his seat, quickly moving toward the door. His legs felt shaky beneath him, but he forced himself to walk, head down, hoping no one would notice. No one usually did, after all.

Of course they don’t care.

He headed down the hallway, heart pounding in his chest, his footsteps growing faster as he neared the stairs leading up to his Room, a place where he could break down in peace. But his body betrayed him. He couldn’t hold it back any longer.

The nausea surged, and he darted into the nearest restroom. Slamming the door behind him, he fell to his knees, hunching over the toilet. His whole body trembled as he gagged, trying to keep what little food he had managed to eat earlier from coming up.

---

Lewis had noticed.

He always noticed when Valtteri disappeared. He had been watching him for weeks—how his mood shifted, how his energy seemed depleted, how his once hearty laughter had dwindled into almost nothing. At first, he thought it was just the stress of the season, but there was something more, something darker lurking beneath the surface.

It wasn’t until he saw Valtteri’s hunched shoulders hastily leaving the room that a sinking feeling settled in his gut.

Lewis followed.

---

Valtteri knelt on the cold floor of the small bathroom, his hands gripping the porcelain edge of the toilet. His body trembled, the shame of what he was doing hitting him in waves, but it was the only way he felt in control. He hated it. He hated himself for it. But he couldn't stop.

He felt utterly alone in that moment, as he always had in the shadows of the team. But then, through the haze of sickness and shame, he heard the door creak open.

"Valtteri?" Not now. Not him. It was Lewis. Of course, it was Lewis.

His chest ached, too late to hide, too late to pretend everything was okay. He heaved, gagging as his body rejected the little food he had forced himself to eat earlier, his body convulsing as he struggled to breathe between violent retches.

"Go away," Valtteri choked out, his voice hoarse. His knuckles turning white from the force he held onto the porcelain with. He heaved again, his body shuddering as another wave of nausea hit.

Lewis stood frozen in the doorway. His breath hitched at the sight before him. Valtteri, the strong, composed teammate he had always admired, was hunched over in a position that spoke of agony and desperation. His heart clenched painfully in his chest.

"Valtteri…" Lewis's voice was a whisper, filled with concern but to Valtteri, it felt like a stab to the gut.

Valtteri lifted his head but didn't turn around. He couldn't. He couldn’t face this—couldn’t face Lewis. Not now, not like this. His eyes were wide, chest tight, as if even breathing hurt. He wanted to tell him to leave, to walk away and pretend he hadn’t seen any of this. But the words caught in his throat, choked by the raw shame and exhaustion.

He swallowed hard, trying to compose himself, to act like it wasn’t what it looked like. But it was. He knew it, and Lewis knew it too. He couldn’­­t help it. His body trembled as he hunched over the bowl once more, dry heaving, retching with nothing left to give. His stomach was painfully empty, but still, he gagged, his throat burning from the bile coming up in harsh waves.

Lewis stepped forward, the weight of the moment hanging between them like a thick fog. "Val, what—" Valtteri could feel the concern radiating off him, but he couldn’t bear it.

His body was still shaking, and he could feel Lewis’s presence close behind him. Why did he follow me? He had always tried so hard and managed to hide it before, always kept this side of himself locked away. He couldn’t bear for anyone, especially Lewis, to see him like this.

"Don't," Valtteri cut him off, his voice hoarse, raw from the strain. He didn’t want Lewis to see him like this, vulnerable, broken. "Please, Lewis, just-" His body convulsed, another dry heave shaking him as more bile rose in his throat. He gagged, coughing, the sound echoing in the small restroom. His whole body ached, exhausted from fighting this battle for so long.

"Just… go," Valtteri croaked, his voice ragged, barely audible "please."

[cinniipuppiii]

My Roman Empire might just be a fem!reader falling in love with Lisanna in childhood, only for her to be in love with Natsu. Reader doesn’t know how to tell her. Is she even into girls? Reader doesn’t know.

And then growing up and still being in love, feelings never fading. Even after the reader watches her die when she went on the quest with the siblings, her feelings never faded.

Meeting her in Edolas and just KNOWING she was the real one. Your love was that deep. You knew it.

But her coming back and still clearly loving Natsu, forever one sided love.

[nomoreusername]

The Other Side

Pairing:Newt x gender neutral reader

Summary:After both Newt and you get the flare you make a life ending decision together.

It was the worst thing to happen to anyone. I had caught the flare along with Newt. Despite Thomas trying his best two people, almost half dead, and going insane, was a lot to handle. He had to drop us on the ground.

"I don't think I can do this anymore,"I panted, laying still in front of the WCKD building.

"You'll both be fine. They're getting the cure. You'll be fine,"Thomas tried to assure this.

"Don't make promises you can't keep,"Newt murmured, his body almost completely limp next to mine. I felt like my heart had stopped beating, like something was hitting my head over and over, as I felt myself freeze. I couldn't move.

This was for the best because once those lights came on everything inside me seemed to cloud over. I had one thought on my mind. Somebody needs to suffer.

I turned my head to see a stranger glaring at me, with black eyes, and black drool. He looked just as ready to kill so I had to get to him first.

I lunged at him and knocked him to the ground. He scratched at me, his nails drawing blood. This stranger was a threat.

"No! No!"Someone screamed, trying to pull me off. I threw that person to the ground. They hit it with a thud before lying motionless.

I went over to see who it was when I realized something. Thomas. I had just killed Thomas. At least, I thought so until I saw his chest moved. I didn't kill him. I caused him pain.

"Tommy?"Newt asked, kneeling next to me. I looked over a him. He didn't have much time left either.

"I'm sorry Thomas,"I whispered, closing my eyes. I pulled a gun from my pocket and looked at Newt. He nodded as his eyes filled with tears.

We couldn't live like this though. This wasn't even living, and we knew our friends wouldn't make it to save us.

He pulled his own gun out and held against his head. We just stared at each other.

"I love you Newt,"I said for what could be the last time.

"I love you too. I'll see you in the other side,"He whispered.

"Yeah. If we get there I'll find you,"I promised. He nodded before closing his eyes. I did the same before pulling the trigger.

If only we had waited just one more minute. Then, Brenda would have given us the cure.

[adastraetretro]

"It's not fair!!" [Person A] yells, whirling around to face [Person B].

"It's not fair," they repeat, in a quieter voice, tears streaming down their face. "It's not fair that you get to walk around like nothing's happened while I'm stuck here picking up the pieces of the broken heart you shattered."

[thehusbandoden]

Burnt -Dabi x Reader

A/n: felt angsty lol. I'll write an alternative ending or maybe a second part soon~! <3

General info:

Genre: pure angst \\ wc: 1,224 \\ posted: 01/03/2024

Summary: you gave the love of your life too many chances already. But this time? He crossed a line.. a line that should have never been crossed.

Warnings!: pure angst, no happy ending, spoilers of Dabi's backstory, Dabi's real name, arguing, toxicity, crying, mention of blood, suggested abusive childhood, trauma, gaslighting, manipulating, being badly insulted, being unable to apologize, flinching, being physically harmed, break up, shame, guilt, annd I think that's it! Pls let me know if I miss anything! <33

Alternative Ending- More Than Life Itself (Dw he doesn't get away with it, but it's fluff/comfort!)

Hurt coursed through your being as you glared at your beloved, biting your lip in pent up anger. “Why can’t you just trust me?! I’m not going to hurt you Touya!”  

“Do not call me Touya.” He growled, his hands clenching into fists. “You’ve done nothing but use me. All you ever care about is yourself, you’re a lazy, selfish, manipulative, and flat-out disgusting woman.”  

You open your mouth to retort, but quickly close it, shocked at his words. You only want him to be happy. All you do is provide love, support, shelter, and safety for him. You haven’t left him no matter how many times he’s insulted, manipulated, or gaslit you.  

You gave him shelter in your own home, no matter the risks of police, heroes, or other villains. You sat there as he yelled at you, insulted you, and belittled you.  

But... this? 

This was too far.  

“Do you mean all that?” You murmur, your eyes lowering to the floor. Your lip started to tremble.  

Dabi sneered. “Yes. Every single bit of it.” His turquoise eyes were filled with pure hatred.  

“Then just leave me.” You murmur, your hands shaking.  

“What did you say?” Dabi scoffed.  

“If I’m such a terrible person, just leave me and find someone better.” You spit, your e/c orbs filling with tears.  

“Are you really crying? Pathetic. Maybe I will... I’ll find someone who’s a lot better. She’ll be gorgeous, loving, selfless, and best of all- completely opposite of you.” Dabi snickered, pulling his black combat boots on.  

You don’t say anything. A few tears strayed down your face. Dabi scoffed. “Good.” You whisper. 

Rolling his eyes, Dabi pulls on his long leather jacket and his large backpack stored with all his belongings. He came home only a few hours ago... you tried to tell yourself to stay quiet, but you couldn’t help it... 

“Did you ever even love me?” You whisper, a few more tears joining the first.  

Dabi paused, his turquoise orbs moving to the floor. He doesn’t say anything, hardly even breathing. Silence envelops the two of you for a few moments before he speaks. “I... don’t love anything. Or anyone.”  

More tears fell.  

“So what? I was just- a- a game?” Your voice shook. Your control began to tremble.  

“You were something to pass time.” He muttered, running a large hand through his black hair. “Nothing more.”  

A choked sob broke through your lips. “Nothing? Nothing else at all?”  

“Yes. You were nothing but a stress relief.”  

A second sob followed the first. You could have sworn you saw Dabi’s sneer falter for a mere second.  

“What? Did you really think I could love someone like you?!”  

“Just go. I would wish you misery-” your voice cracks, “-but you’re already cursed. You break whomever and whatever is around you. You destroyed us and you destroyed your fam-" -a loud smack echoed across the room. Everything but you and Dabi’s heavy breathing were heard.  

You stared at the floor, your cheek burning. You couldn’t believe that the man you once loved and trusted could ever do something like this... he was not only cursed- but a liar at that.   

Biting your lip, your tearful eyes meet Dabi’s cold ones. No one other than you wouldn’t be able to tell how he was truly feeling. But you knew that his eyes were full of regret, guilt, and shame. But he wouldn’t apologize. He never would.  

“Get out.” You whisper, clenching your hands into fists. Dabi’s mouth opened ever so slightly.  

“What did you say?” He asked softly.  

“I said get out.” You demand. Tears fell down your face, making your cheek sting further. You silently cursed at your vulnerability.  

“Oh, come on y/n- it wasn’t that big of a deal.” Dabi protested, reaching out to hold you. He was gaslighting you. Again.  

“No! It was that bad! You didn’t only slap me Dabi, you burned me.” Dabi froze, your words finally pulling himself out of his delusional state. His eyes widened as he eyed your bruising cheek- it was not only bruising but burned.  

His face fell in horror. He subconsciously reached his hand to your cheek. You flinch, and he slowly falls apart.  

“Y-y/n- I-I...”  

“Get out. Now.” Your gorgeous e/c orbs hardened in rage, and he finally realized how serious you were.  

“O-okay... I’ll go.” He murmured, moving his heartbroken orbs to the floor. “I don’t want to see you again. Ever.” You murmur, wrapping your arms around yourself.  

“E-ever?”  

“Ever. You crossed a line, Dabi.”  

Dabi froze as he heard you call him his villain's name... you always called him Touya... you were serious. He yearned to apologize, to hold you in his arms as he coos at you, to fix everything he ruined.  

His body jerked forward, but he didn’t budge. Opening his mouth, he inwardly screamed at himself to just- do it. The words were at the tip of his tongue. 

Memories of his childhood flashed before his eyes- the screaming, the insults, the endless apologies left ignored, or even punished. Something inside him snapped and he just- broke.  

“Good. I’m glad. I’ll be much better without your pathetic self weighing me down.” He sneered, pushing you aside, sending you scrawling to the floor. “You’re pathetic. Did you think that I loved you?!”  

Another sob broke from your lips. “Out.” 

“Y’know what? Why should I? You get out. I’m staying.”  

“I pay for this apartment Dabi! I buy the groceries, pay the bills, buy the furniture, pay for the repairs- this is my place!”  

“And I’m going to stay. Now either shut up and deal or leave.” Dabi growled. You glared at the man, your fingernails digging into your palms.  

“Dabi- leave. You’ve overstayed your welcome. Not only have you physically harmed me- whom you swore to protect, but you’ve insulted, belittled, and totally disrespected me. I want you out of my apartment by-” you were interrupted by Dabi tightly grabbing your arms, his flames burning into your flesh. Hissing in pain, you push Dabi to the ground. He lets out a loud curse before shooting back up to his feet, glaring at you. His hardened eyes involuntarily softened as he met your teary eyes. His heart stung as he watched you fall into yourself, sobbing.  

Dabi kneeled to the floor, trying to make eye contact with you. “Listen y/n... I-”  

“Leave! Go! I don’t want you or your apology! Leave or I will!” You sob, gripping onto your shirt tightly.  

Dabi’s cold, broken, and at most times invisible heart- shattered.  

He did this to you. He was a monster... he was just like Endeavor.  

Nodding, Dabi stood up. He turned away, walking towards the door. He glanced at you once more before walking out. He could hear your sobs as he closed your front door. He clenched his hands into fists. After a few moments of listening to your wails of betrayal, lost, and hurt, he couldn’t take it anymore.  

He threw a punch to his cheek, cursing himself out as he walked away. Blood streamed from his eyes; his burnt tear ducts burning in agony as his body attempted to cry. 

He insulted you.  

He lied to you.  

He broke you.  

He burnt you.  

And the worst part? 

There was nothing he could do to fix it. 

~~~~~

Dabi's masterlist | Masterlist | Navigation | You can tip me here <;3

~~~~~

Reblogs and feedback are greatly appreciated <33

Alternative Ending- More Than Life Itself (Dw he doesn't get away with it, but it's fluff/comfort!)

Do not copy, repost, nor plagiarize my work. Ask before you translate or use my work in any way -minus reblogging.

[crunchygrasshopperttounges]

[ladylamrian]

Fragile

Female Main Character: Alexis (Alex)

Pairing: F!MC×NikRyder

Summary: Thomas's wraith was defeated by Alex. But the battle wasn't easy. She was now fighting between life and death.

Word Count: 6.3K words

Rating: Teen/Mature

Warnings: Angst, Heartbreak, Hospital, Health...

-> My complete Nightbound Masterlist <-

Taglist: @lilyoffandoms ; @secretaryunpaid ; @blackcatkita ; @liviusofpella ; @peonierose ; @jdstar88 ; @hopelessromantic1352 ; @tessa-liam ; @mxdanni ; @infactnoimmasitinthemiddle ; @mariemarieohcontrary ; @rosepetals1 ; @stars-are-within-me ; @dutifullynuttywitch ; @thosehallowedhalls ; @bri1234 ; @artbyalz ; @choicesaprilchallenge24 [Prompts: "What happened?" ; "Shut up!" ; "I'll take care of you." "Just relax" & "Wake up." ] @choicesficwriterscreations and whoever wants to join...

Comments via Reblog wholeheartly welcome

Author's note: Nightbound rewrite of last scene.

Nik's girlfriend, Alex was lying on the hospital bed, injured, unconscious and not waking up. Nik held back the tears that came to his eyes. Tears he didn't think would appear so easily for a tough man like him. He watched her for a long time and then kissed her forehead.

"Don't worry, rook. Everything will be alright, I swear. Just don't leave me. Wake up, I'm here. Your Nik is here with you and never left your side.", his voice trembled as he whispered. After a little pause, he continued.

"I... I think... I love you... I never thought that I would ever fall in love so deeply with you. Never imagined the thing I would fear the most would be losing you. Hell, I can lose everything but not you. But oh, not you. Please... Wake up."

He sat quietly by the bedside holding her hands, and couldn't help but keep talking to her even when she was unconscious.

"What I would give to hear your voice again...", he stroked her silvery-black hair, remembering their happy moments, their first meeting, their first kiss. Wiping away the tears that kept coming to his silvery-gray eyes, he thought he should have protected her better. He failed. Not ready to lose her like he once lost his birthparents and Elijah. He failed again. He couldn't protect her from the bloodwraith which attacked his girlfriend. Now she's fighting between life and death. Struggling.

"That Thomas bastard... Damn Lady Fate who couldn't fight that bastard before all this happened before. Powerful Fate? The hell with that!!! Thomas's gone now, but at what cost...?", he muttered as his eyes burned with anger and revenge.

Even though Thomas and his bloodwraith who tried to kill Alex and all the supernatural elite, were finally defeated at the Mardi Gras event by Alex's mysterious powers. But before its defeat, the bloodwraith just had to attack her. Its claws sank into her body, making her lose so much blood that the wraith itself ended up bloody. She lost so much blood, but it was somehow a miracle that his girlfriend was still with him. For now...

After a moment later, a doctor entered the room to check Alex's status and vitals. For his luck, the doctor was a fae, disguised from the human sight through the glamour spell. He wouldn't question much about the happenings and already knew that this was the work of a supernatural being. The bloodwraith, a killing machine. And since Alex was partly fae, he would understand her better than the rest of the doctors. Nik got up from the chair where he was sitting and approached the doctor.

"How is she?"

The doctor turned his attention to him and appeared a little worried.

"I'm afraid her situation is rather delicate, she's still unconscious. She's in a coma, her condition is serious but stable. She's been intubated and connected to many machines that keep her alive. I can't give you a date when she would wake up... it could be tomorrow or it could be in several days... I'm absolutely sorry, sir."

Nik was visibly shaken.

"And she will survive this right? Right?!!"

"The truth is... I can't know for sure. We just hope she'll pull through without any further complications.", the fae doctor informed without meeting his eyes. He paused before he continued. "We need to run some tests to know more."

Nik's body suddenly trembled slightly and his fists tightened into a ball. Taking a deep breath, he tried to remain calm.

"But in the meantime, there must be something you can do for her right?"

The doctor felt sorry, looked at her condition on the monitors and then adjusted some of them.

"She's a half-fae, right? She appears to be stable, for now. The most important thing we could do for her is allow her body to rest. And we will perform several tests so please if you want, you can be with her during the tests."

The young nighthunter nodded and watched his girlfriend. Her long hair was so beautiful, her face full of peace even when unconscious, she seemed so still, so fragile. She was now his Sleeping Beauty, waiting for her to finally wake up because he couldn't bear thinking of the worst. He gripped her hand tightly, feeling her warmth and how her skin was soft as silk and whispered to her. For him, she looked like an angel on earth. Peaceful.

"Please wake up rook, don't leave me alone..."

The doctor left the room to give him some privacy. Nik kissed her on the forehead and held onto her hand. His face is completely devastated and broken. Every fiber of his being was being torn away by this pain. Tears kept flowing down his face, his heart felt like it was about to explode and shatter in many tiny pieces. His thoughts were so chaotic and filled with dread. He blamed himself for everything. If only he could have protected her better. If only his last memory with her was a happy one. If only he made sure that Thomas and his bloodwraith were really really dead and defeated. The young man felt so powerless in this situation. He wanted to do something for her. His helplessness was torturing him, but there was nothing he could do right now. He could only wait. Nik's head whirled, his hands trembled and all that he could do was to keep holding on to this only connection he had left with his beloved.

Weeks passed and Nik Ryder was still sitting next to his girlfriend's bed. He hasn't left the hospital room since the deadly bloodwraith tried to kill her. He looked exhausted and his eyes were red as if he hadn't slept in days. He had barely eaten anything and just couldn't leave her alone. The doctor and the nurses tried to urge him to leave the hospital for a while, but he refused. Every time they suggested he go rest at home, he shook his head, because he was afraid that the second he left her, she would slip away to leave him forever. A tear ran down his cheek as he saw her lying motionless, so pale and so fragile on the bed. She looked like a small and innocent child. Alex had lost so much blood, but he was grateful at least that she was still here with him. But the fact that she was so vulnerable and helpless... Just seeing her like that cut him with a knife to his soul. He couldn't imagine what he would do if something worse happened to her. He held her hands again, and couldn't help but be overwhelmed with fear.

"I'm here love. I'm not gonna leave you. I swear.", he felt his own heartbeat as he whispered to her.

Again, weeks have passed and Nik was still sitting at her side. Every single day, holding her hand. He has barely eaten anything in all this time and now looked very pale and tired. His eyes got even more red and swollen from all the tears and exhaustion. He never left her, not a single moment. Every second he spent beside her bed because his only concern was her. If only she knew that too. He watched her with the same devotion as if they had just met and he had fallen in love. She was so peaceful in sleep, she looked so cute to him with her delicate face, her hair still so soft and shiny. But he only wanted her to wake up. If there's a god in this world then please let her wake up, he thought. Please. He would even die for her.

"It's me, darling. I'm here. Come back to me. Please.", he whispered as he stroked her silver strands and gently kissed her forehead.

"Wake up, love. Wake up, my rook... Alex, my love... You're everything to me and I need you. Wake up, please."

He stared at her, not taking his eyes off of her, looking at her face with a mixture of love, affection and fear. The silence in the room killed him and was only interrupted by the faint noise of the machines that tried to keep her alive.

Hours later. Nik was still next to her, holding her hands, caressing her hair, watching how she was in this state of deep sleep. His Sleeping Beauty. He hasn't left her side for a second and for all this time, he has barely eaten anything in the last week. Still devastated and exhausted, everything he was going through was overwhelming him. Nik Ryder was broken. His face was covered with wrinkles, and his silvery-gray eyes looked even more lifeless and swollen. He looked very pale and even a light beard began to grow. All his fears overcame him and the doctor did not give him any hope. His heart was in agony. He leaned over her and looked at her face again. So peaceful and pure with closed eyes as if she was a sleeping angel. He caressed her soft hair with devotion, his eyes were full of pain and fear. He spoke to her in a hoarse voice.

"Please wake up love. I need you. I need you so much."

"Nik, I..."

Nik sensed words coming out of her mouth and froze. Did she just say her name or was he imagining this? Did his brain start to play tricks on him since he hadn't slept for days? But then he heard her again and a spark of hope was ignited in his heart. He leaned over her and watched her lips carefully, waiting to hear her again. His hand trembled a little bit and his heart raced in his chest. Beating fast. The man took a deep breath in anticipation of the next word she would speak. He whispered to her with excitement and hope.

"Yeah? You wanna say something, love?" He was watching her lips intently to try and discern what she was trying to say and he was desperate to know if she was alright and that it was all just a bad dream.

Alex opened her eyes weakly and was struggling to open her mouth. She couldn't speak. The machines attached to her were beeping louder which made Nik immediately rush outside to call the doctors and nurses. They quickly followed him back inside the room where Alex was lying. The doctor came over to help her raise her head a little. Nik watched her lips and managed to capture the last word "You". What was she trying to tell him? He kept trying to listen to what came next, as she kept struggling to move her lips to try it again. It really looked like she wanted to say something. She managed to mumble a couple more words, but Nik couldn't understand what she was trying to say. He leaned down very close to her to listen to her words. She kept repeating the same words which sounded like "you and me". The rest he couldn't understand the rest and requested her to stay silent and not lose any energy. Nik watched as the doctor and nurses worked on giving her medication. Nik was relieved that she was showing signs of improvement now.

But she's still confused and disorientated. There were a lot of machines and tubes around her. She tried to speak again. Her voice is even more hoarse but this time she managed to murmur a few more words. This time she tries to say "I'm scared, what's happening?"

She seemed desperate to get up, not understanding why she couldn't move and why her body was still so weak. The nurses and the doctors kept checking her, giving her medicine and trying to soothe her. Nik whispered to her with empathy.

"My rook. What do you want to say?"

"Nik? Is that you?"

Nik smiled immediately at the mention of his name. He caressed her cheek with affection while feeling a lot of relief. His heart pounded fast, it was her! She's finally starting to regain consciousness!!

"Yeah It's me, I'm here love.... ", he whispered in a warm voice and smiled. He caressed her cheek and hair with more tenderness. He wanted to hold her but he was too afraid to move her since her body was still so fragile and weakened. At least, he was very happy to hear her sweet voice again.

"Yeah rook, it's me. You're alive!!"

"Nik...", she got emotional and began to sob. He softly wiped away her tears and stroked her rosy cheek.

"Hey, calm down. Don't cry. Just relax, you're safe here." He wanted her to feel safe and loved. Almost holding his breath, he also had tears in his eyes, felt very touched and so much love for her.

"Where am I? What happened?", she asked and he noticed her confusion.

He held her close to him and he wiped away her tears.

"You're safe now. We're in a hospital. Everything will be alright, don't worry."

"Nik, don't leave me here alone."

"I won't leave you alone, I swear. I've been here with you every day since this happened.", he sighed with sadness and held her hand tightly without taking his eyes off her. Nik wanted to experience every second she was awake to be able to comfort and support her. She's everything for him. There was silence between them while the doctors and nurses were working in this room and all Nik wanted to do was stay by her side. Then he noticed that she silently kept looking at him. Her face suddenly washed with sadness as if she just remembered something very important. Her break-up with Nik.

"Rook, try to rest, your body has gone through a lot. Let me stay here with you, I won't leave your side.", he promised, not being aware of what she was currently thinking. A few seconds later Nik watched her as she silently fell back asleep. Her body was so exhausted from what it's been through and she couldn't withstand being awake for a long time. Nik felt like a part of his soul was slowly being taken away with every moment he saw her in bed with the machines keeping her alive. He was still so worried and afraid. His whole body shook with fear and desperation. Taking a deep breath, he continued looking after her. Stroking her hair gently, holding her hand to never let go, he stayed there with her in silence. Only the sound of the machines that kept her alive filled the room.

Days later, finally at home.

Nik was carefully carrying her from his Black Range Rover to his apartment. Finally home. He was still holding her in his arms like a baby. Her body was so light and fragile that seemed as if he was carrying something much more delicate than a human being. He entered his apartment and took her to his bed, placing her gently on it. He watched her with tenderness, a lot of love and concern for her state of health.

"You're gonna to be okay and you'll get better, rook. I'll take care of you."

"Are we home?", she whispered, still dazed. Without noticing she accidentally said the word "home" as if she accepted that she and Nik live and belong together, sharing a home.

"Yeah, we're finally back home.", he kissed her gently on the cheek which confused her and got back to her senses.

"But... But Nik, why? Why kissing and loving me? I thought you broke up with me."

He now felt ashamed of himself, looked down to the floor for a moment to avoid her eye contact and cleared his throat before speaking.

"I... I had to think things over, and calm down, but when I realized that I'd lose you forever. I couldn't let you go anymore. I know a little sorry won't be enough to make it up, but you're so damn special to me and I never felt like this to anyone before. I still love you, my rook. I want us to be together. I want to hold you. And kiss you again. I want to feel you against me and your skin on me. To hear you breathe. To hear your heartbeat. Wake up with you every morning and sleep at night. I need you. I need you more than ever needed in my whole life. You changed me to a better man. The rules I made in my life... I broke my rules just for you."

"Nik, you broke my feelings. You hurt me. It won't be easy anymore.", she scolded him which made him feel very guilty. Ashamed, he looked away without being able to hold her gaze. She was very disappointed in him and it probably won't be the same anymore. Nik thought that he had been very selfish and unfair towards her, yet this was something he had to say, knowing the pain it could cause both of them.

"Rook..."

"Shut up, I'm not your rook!!!", she almost yelled.

"Sorry, I mean... Alex. I was a coward, but please let me explain, I swear that I'm damn sorry. I can explain..."

"Nik, I want to rest.", she decided to change the topic before she burst into tears in front of him. She didn't want to cry, feel sorry, look weak and little in front of him. She knew that Nik was taught since childhood to move on which was harsh, but it hurt her so much. She would love to be happily together with him because she never felt that way to anyone but him. Their love was so deep, strong and passionate, but that sadly didn't last for long. She wanted to be back with him, but she couldn't.

"Yeah, of course. Rest now, but later we need to talk and fix things. Or just at least hear me out to understand why I did this?", he begged for forgiveness.

"We'll see.", she answered coldly which filled him with desperation and guilt.

"I promise you that I'm gonna make it up to you and I understand your anger. Hell, you're allowed to be angry with me. But please don't...", he couldn't finish his sentence because she immediately moved away from him as he squeezed her shoulder for support.

Nik was shocked by the fact that she did not let him touch her or even get close to her. He noticed that she had gotten very distant from him which broke his heart with every move she made away from him.

"Please don't be like that. Don't push me away."

"You pushed me away first, Nik."

The man nodded, accepting his true guilt, but he couldn't argue with the fact that she was right. He also knew that for every word he said, the situation would only get worse and cause her more anger and pain. He watched her sadly, with no words left to say. A wave of guilt overwhelmed him and he felt truly terrible for what he's done. He stayed silent for a moment and faced the floor with his face full of agony. The man didn't know what to say anymore and regretted pushing her away that night before Thomas's wraith attacked her. When Nik wanted to sit on the bed near her, she immediately stood up which broke his feelings. That distance. He froze and just watched her in silence. He couldn't handle the silence and her cold attitude towards him anymore. Nik wanted to see her looking at him again, but instead, she tried to walk away. Taking a few steps forward got difficult for her because she still felt weak. Nik saw her losing balance and his natural instincts kicked in. He quickly ran towards her and placed his hands on her arm. His touch was so delicate, his grasp so gentle as he held her. He got concerned.

"Gotcha, rook. Are you okay? You were about to fall. Here, sit down, lemme me help you."

"I feel a little dizzy, nothing else."

Nik analyzed that her condition had worsened and he noticed that she got very pale, her eyes were almost closed and her body was now leaning more to one side. He held her gently by the waist and tried to help her to sit down. The nighthunter looked into her eyes with worry and was very concerned about her health. He sat her down on the bed slowly and held her, afraid of letting go. The girl was so fragile. He had taken care of her every day since she came home from the hospital. The doctors were surprised by her recovery but told him to expect some weakness for several days. Nik was very careful with her, carried her in his arms everywhere he could and not letting her out of his sight. He felt so much guilt about everything that happened. He couldn't bear to even look at the scars and all the bandages. Knowing that she almost died broke him. Alex was not yet ready to talk because of her weakness which she didn't want to show. She hated to be weak, helpless and belittled.

"Nik, I..."

"Don't pressure yourself. I'm here and I'm not gonna go anywhere. You can recover at your own pace, I'm not gonna push you, I just want you to get better, rook."

They were silent. Now looking very peaceful and relaxed after closing her eyes. Nik was glad that she was at least resting and not thinking about anything that stressed her. They stayed like this for a long time until Nik broke the silence speaking softly to her.

"You are stronger than you think. You will get back on your feet soon, I have faith in you."

He smiled as he looked at her. Nik felt a new inspiration to fight for her and was more determined than ever to give her whatever she needed. He stayed with her and was patient.

"Nik...", it took a lot of effort for her to speak.

"What is it?"

"Why? Why are you doing this for me?"

"Because I love you. It's as simple as that. Why else would I be doing this? I don't want you to be alone, or be sad or in pain. I just want you to be happy, and if I have to go through every obstacle and take every step, I'll take it, as long as I can see you smile again someday. I love you, Alex. I love you so much."

"Are you sure? You're not just loving me because I almost died?? Because if this wouldn't have happened you might..."

"No!!! Hell no, I loved you before too and still do. Before all this... this death thing happened. You broke all the walls I've built and opened me up a bit. I never felt this before. Never felt like this towards anyone before. I love you, Alex. You're so special and it would kill me if something happened to you because everyone close to me died horribly and I wanted to prevent that. Keep you safe by separating each other. What a damn mistake I made. I couldn't even keep you safe from my bad luck by breaking up with you and you still died. Almost. I love you still. Since the beginning."

She wasn't responding very much to what he just confessed, but at least she didn't seem to be angry anymore. Just tired and weak.

"So this is the only reason why you're helping me? You weren't offered some extra money or something like that, huh?"

"No rook, damn the stupid money!! You're more important than money. You're not only a job to me, but something more. More than a job. Alex, you have become so dear to me. I care for you and you're everything I have left now in this darn, cruel world. You mean so much to me. I love you, Alex."

She felt like her heart skipped a beat when she heard her name coming from his lips in such a gentle tone. She gazed at him for a moment before responding.

"You're complicated, Nik."

Her words reminded him that many people have told him this before and she was sadly right. His emotions which he always kept hidden from the world were like a tornado which confused him too. For him, choices weren't always easy like black and white. But right now, it's hard for him to explain himself to her in this state. The young man just wanted her girlfriend to get better, so he spoke with tenderness and sympathy.

"I know you're tired and everything confuses you right now. But later, I will explain everything to you."

Again, days have passed and she felt much better but still had some weakness for not being able to walk alone. At least she could sit on her own and she seemed to be more energetic. She was even able to hold conversations for several minutes without getting tired or bored. But she still seemed angry, didn't let him touch her and she just shortly answered him. However, he was still trying to show her that he had changed and that he was going to make amends for what he did.

Nik, the nighthunter discovered her sitting on the white sofa, reading a book. Her face is expressionless with no trace of the beautiful smile he once knew. He missed the good and romantic times with her. She seemed very distant from him and it saddened him to see her this way. He knew the reason behind her behavior was him and he couldn't blame her for that. Taking a deep breath, he approached her gently. He stood in front of her and he spoke softly and with a lot of sadness, honesty and determination, willing to take whatever came, even if he had to suffer. At least he tried to make up for what he did to her in the Mardi Gras Parade. The break-up. He cleared his throat and tried his best to express himself as honestly as he was.

"Rook... I mean, Alex... I know you're angry and you're upset because I left you. Because I wanted us to go separate ways and move on, but listen, I was a coward and I was afraid to tell you the truth. Since childhood I was taught not to trust anyone, to be alone and to move on. I made you believe that I no longer felt the same way I felt about you before, but that was never true. Alex, I never stopped loving you, and I will never stop loving you.", he paused, hoping that the words he was saying had some effect on her and so that he could understand the damage he did to her. She remained silent and looked at him indifferently which hurt him just looking at her that way. The young man didn't want to pressure her and he knew that for now, he had to be very patient with her.

"I... I'm really sorry for hurting you, for making you think that I don't love you.

"Alex, I can't find excuses for what I did. It just wasn't the right thing. I'm sorry..."

He knew it would be very difficult for her to forgive him for the heartbreak he caused her. Still, at least he got her to listen to him and had a brief conversation. That's the start he needed, now he just had to keep his promise that he was serious about making it up to her and that he would show her how much he really loved her.

"Listen, Nik... Thank you for taking care of my health and getting me back on my feet, but I think it's time for me to go."

A wave of sadness hit him when he heard what she just said. His heart sank and he felt desperation welling up within him.

"What are you talkin' about?", he asked, looking at her with eyes full of longing and a kind of fear that perhaps his last attempt to have her stay with him has been lost.

"I will go back home where I came from, Nik."

"But you're still not in a condition to do this alone. Who's gonna take care of you at home?", he was suddenly taken aback.

"Nik, you broke up with me. I can't live with you like this"

Nik sighed sadly and faced the floor. He knew that he had no right, as this was a natural consequence of his own actions. He was upset and depressed for causing this break-up and for losing her true love, but he had only himself to blame.

"I'm trying to fix everything between us, I swear. I don't want to lose you again. I love you and I can't imagine my life without you anymore. Please, I beg you to stay."

"But Nik, can I trust you? Will you prove yourself? How will I know you won't change your mind again?"

It seemed like a small window of hope was still open to him and he felt like he actually had a chance to convince her to trust him again. He thought for a few seconds before he spoke, this was probably one of the most important moments for him. He gazed at her directly in the eyes with a serious expression and he spoke with pure honesty.

"I know my words alone aren't enough for you to trust me again, but I can assure you that I'm serious about fixing the mess I created and proving I can be a better man for you. So, what do you say? Wanna start our love story again?"

"Nik, it feels good to hear this. Thanks, but I need time."

The blond-haired man was very understanding when she confessed that she needed some time and he knew that he had to be patient and give it to her. He smiled at her with kindness and sincerity, but his smile also hid a sadness in him because of all the pain he had caused her.

"I don't want to rush anything, I know I have to win back your trust little by little, so just take the time you need. But, please, do me a favor... Just don't close me out, okay? I know right now we can't act like we used to, but lemme be here for you. Lemme help you. Lemme stay by your side, please."

Nik knew that she still had a lot of anger towards him, but he also hoped that in time, he could find a way to make her see that he was indeed a changed man.

"Hmmph, I try my best.", she muttered.

He tried not to show impatience, tried to be patient and to respect her decision. Patience and tolerance. She was also making an effort to at least stay calm and listen to him, which was also a good sign for him, even if she hadn't forgiven him yet.

"Thanks, Alex. All I ask you is to not give me your back. Lemme be here for you, that's all I want."

"But I can't live here with you just like that without any relationship, right?"

"I know... I don't expect you to trust me 100% in your present circumstances. That's why I'm telling you that we should take things slow and that you need time to regain your confidence. However, I do expect that you let me continue to help you."

"I know, but... But Nik, I don't want to bother you."

He chuckled and his response was honest and spontaneous as his natural personality returned at the sound of his humorous side coming back.

"Don't be silly, rook. How are you bothering me? Quite the opposite actually, I'd be bothered if you didn't let me help you..."

Nik's laughter felt heartwarming which made her smile a little. Though it was still quite small, he felt his heart skip a beat at her sweet smile and his affection for her grew even stronger. She was like a small kitten he wanted to cuddle and protect.

"See? Now, that's a cute smile more like the ones I like to see on your face...", he confessed which made her blush.

"Thanks", she whispered as her cheeks turned softly pink.

Nik and Alex's relationship has progressed over the past weeks, despite the slow pace they had, she let him stay near her and help her. She became more receptive to his help and she even showed some affection with her attitude, though sometimes she was still very distant and a little cold towards him. He knew that the break-up was very painful for her and she was still struggling with her anger, but he was determined to help her. Both would get through this difficult situation and still work hard to build something strong again.

A few days later, Nik was in the kitchen helping her clean the dishes, as he had done with her these past few weeks. She looked a bit more comfortable and smiled a little bit more. However, she was still tad cold with him as she couldn't easily forgive him yet, but he was patient and tried his best to make her realize that this was all in the past and he was determined to win her affection and trust and heart again.

"Woah!!", she shouted as she was about to slip. Nik quickly rushed to catch her before falling. He pulled her close to him. Alex looked down at the fallen dishes from her hands and realized that he caught her just in time. She gazed at him with a surprised expression upon realizing he was there for him.

"Are you okay? Are you hurt?"

"Nik, I..."

He held her close to him and couldn't help but feel an increased affection increase as their eyes met each other's.

"Alex, are you feelin' weak again? It's okay, I'm here for you."

His tone was affectionate and protective, which could give a hint of his growing feelings for her. He could see that her condition improved a lot over the past few weeks, but she was still a little fragile. He held her close to him, feeling her body pressed against his and she didn't even protest about it. They stood there for a few seconds like this as if the time froze. He was still holding her with affection. She was in his arms and felt his gentle touch which felt comforting.

The physical proximity between the two brought them closer on an emotional and sentimental level, which was evident by the soft glances he gave her. His gaze spoke of affection, it gave a hint of an awakening feeling that was becoming more sincere and profound. They stayed like this for a few more moments. His arms were tightly wrapped around her and he was almost holding her close to himself. More affectionately than he should, although his intention was only to comfort her as much as possible.

"You can lean on me as long as you need. I have you..."

She looked at him with surprise and appreciation and she was finally able to feel this affection that he had been expressing towards her. A hint of emotion started to form in her eyes and she couldn't help but feel comfortable with his touch. Safe and protected next to him. Her heart beated faster with satisfaction and she couldn't resist the feeling of affection towards him that began to form within her. She leaned her head slightly against his shoulder and allowed herself to feel sheltered.

"Nik, I missed us."

Her words made him emotional. He missed the relationship they had before too, loved the bond they had and now he saw its spark reigniting.

"Me too... I missed us too... My rook."