#PMW

[rathologic]

The Pathologic Modding Wiki is 1 year old!

Since 4/10/2023, the Pathologic Modding Wiki has grown to include:

* 110 article pages * 7 modding tutorials * 191 user-uploaded files * 3,224 total wiki edits

Thanks to everyone who's visited, shared, or contributed so far! I'm thrilled with the wiki's progress and excited for the next year (hopefully, we can fill in those last red links on the homepage).

To celebrate, I've written my most in-depth tutorial yet: Adding items to Pathologic. If you're interested in learning to mod P1, items are a great introduction to the game's functionality! The guide will walk you through implementing a delicious burger with onion, and installing it in grocery stores / trash cans. :-)

[sunnydinthereal]

Redrew some old pacman world fanart!

Original:

[live-fit]

jodirobicheau | ig

[aspenwritesstuff]

Part Seven: Just You

🌹 prev 🌹 masterlist 🌹 next (coming soon)

🌹taglist: open! @drhsthl, @propertyoftoru, @pumkiinpasties @raehawthorne

🌹 permanent taglist: @svintsandghosts, @notastraykid

"Felix smiling because of you was quickly becoming one of your favorite things, and when he rushed forward without warning to hug you? You realized his hugs may be one of them, too." "Hugging Felix was like being wrapped in a warm blanket after being out in the cold. Comfortable, easy, soothing."

warnings: cheating mention, mentions of blood and snot, self-doubt, swearing, mention of violence, not a whole lot of warnings for this chapter, really, it's a lot of fluff.

wc: 5582

author's note: hi, hello. I am alive! I'm so, so sorry for how long it's taken me to update this fic. Writing has been hard, the last year has been a hell of a time. but I'm back now, and I hope that it was worth the wait. If you're still here, thank you. I appreciate your patience and love for PMW.

xoxo,

Aspen

As Lee Felix, twenty-three year old bartender opened his freezer to pull out a frosty bottle of liquor, you felt at peace. Despite the clutter here and there, his apartment managed to radiate the same comfort and warmth as the man himself. 

Following a heartfelt apology for the mess - along with an explanation, despite your insistence that you didn’t mind the few things he’d left out, that he simply wasn’t expecting company - Felix had given you what he referred to as “the grand tour.” 

Felix had given a remarkable amount of attention to detail whilst showing you around, as if you were staying longer than just a night, and made sure to show you where every single thing you could possibly need would be located. He’d even shown you how to operate his game consoles with a reasoning of, “Just in case you’re awake after I am,” and a bright smile.

“You could be a realtor, if you ever get bored of tending bar,” you mused, pulling yourself from the memory of your tour before casting Felix a teasing smile. He chuckled before shaking his head and pouring a shot in two of the glasses you’d made for him.

“I don’t know about that,” he said with a comedic level of wariness, drawing out the words as he tucked away the only unused part of your gift away in the cupboard, “But I’ll keep that in mind.” 

Your gaze was drawn to the pale blue in the midst of clear glass as your gift to Felix bumped against crystal, a tinge of self-consciousness settling in your thoughts at the absolute contrast to the things he’d already owned. He didn’t seem to mind, though, the corners of his lips remaining curved upwards in a content smile as he shut the cupboard. “Here,” Felix’s voice broke through the train of thought you’d been spiraling down, the squeak of ceramic against granite accompanying the sliding of the minty green cup to you.

“Thanks.” You managed, tearing your eyes from one out-of-place little shot glass to another, taking it into both of your hands despite its size. “What kind of fake boyfriend would I be if I didn’t have a celebratory drink in honor of your victory?” He said with an innocent seriousness, though he couldn’t hold his smirk towards his own joke for long. “Which victory?” You asked in reply, his lightheartedness paired with the way his head cocked to the side like a curious cat while he’d awaited your reply bringing a small smile to your own lips. “Being the number one fake girlfriend, of course!” He said with a blinding smile, holding up his pink shot glass filled with soju as he waited for you to toast with him, “To the best fake girlfriend in the world!” His prideful tone made you laugh quietly as you lifted your own glass to his with a small ‘clink’ that only tiny little ceramic glasses could make, downing your shot before speaking breathlessly through the burn, “You know, you’re not a half bad fake boyfriend either.” Felix absolutely beamed.

“Now you’re just flattering me,” his voice carried his smile, making it unknown whether or not the heat in your chest was the lingering effects of the soju or simply Felix’s warmth.

“You got a split lip for me tonight, I’d say that definitely got you some points,” you corrected him as he filled the glasses once more, sliding yours back over to you. “And you cleaned it up for me, so the score is evened,” he countered, raising a brow as if challenging you to argue. Of course, you did. “You cleaned my mascara up, too.” “Blood is arguably grosser than gray tear tracks,” he said with a tilt of his head, a hint of a smile betraying just how seriously he was trying to convince you he was taking this. “I snotted on your blazer,” you scoffed, “That’s pretty gross.” “I work at a bar, I’ve seen grosser.” “Touche,” you conceded before downing your second shot, pondering for a moment on how the evening had unfolded before speaking, “I’m still sorry, y’know, about–” “Ah-ah!” Felix held up a finger and shook it, his brows shooting up, “No apologizing for something I chose to do.” “But you–” “I said no apologizing!” he repeated firmly, a frown on his normally cheerful face nearly being enough to make you stop.

As powerful as a pouting Lee Felix was, your guilt was stronger. “You wouldn’t have gotten punched if it weren’t for me.” Felix paused at that, his goofy little scowl morphing into a genuine, parted-lips look of surprise and contemplation. “I told you before, and I’ll tell you now. I’d do it again,” he said earnestly, looking right past your eyes and into your soul. He’d been pretending before, but now? Now Felix was actually serious. “Felix…” you began, trailing off as you realized you couldn’t say what you wanted to. Surely Felix would frown for real if you told him that you didn’t think you, yourself, were worth the trouble - and genuinely upsetting Felix sounded like a great way to cry for the third time this evening. “I’m serious!” he insisted, taking his second shot and dutifully pouring you both another, “And, honestly? That guy seemed like a dick. I’d probably have punched him eventually anyway, y’know? So stop blaming yourself for a silly little scrape.” You sputtered out a laugh, having failed to hold it back at the idea of San and Felix somehow meeting without you as a mutual existence in their lives. “You think so?” You asked him, still trying to hold back from simply cackling at the notion. “Oh, for sure. Assholes love going to bars, and I work at one. I’m sure I’d have seen him eventually and he’d have done something that would warrant a punch.” You couldn’t argue that, at least. San did have a penchant for being a dick pretty much anywhere he went. “I don’t see you as the ‘punch-a-random-dude’ kind of person, Felix,” you argued the next best - and valid - thing you could.

“He isn’t a random dude, he’s a prick and he sucks,” Felix said somberly, looking gravely serious as he slid your refilled cup over to you.

The laugh that threatened to escape had now succeeded, making you cover your mouth while it made its way through you and out into the air. Once it had died down, Felix took his shot and sighed, looking a bit conflicted. You wondered what on earth could be so serious in his little sunshine-y head, but you didn’t have to ponder long. “So…who was that guy?” Felix asked quietly, averting his eyes as if afraid the question would be far too much. Normally, he’d be right…but now? You weren’t sure if it was because it was Felix asking, or the way he’d been there for you tonight, or the soju that was now effectively making you relax, but you would tell him. It was weird. Jisung knew about San because he’d been there firsthand, but otherwise you simply opted out of sharing. Of course, there were mutual friends of you and San’s who’d ask you, but you would always abruptly change the subject and then make a point not to see those people again. So, it was weird…

But you wanted to tell him. “That was San,” you answered him in a sigh, lifting your shot to your lips and taking it in one fell swoop - you’d likely need it. “And he is?” Felix prompted you to continue, though not aggressively. He was gentle about it, pulling the information from you like a splinter that might hurt, but needed to come out. He wasn’t being nosy, he wasn’t being impatient. He was being compassionate. 

As if just as much as you wanted to tell him, he wanted to know. Not for gossip, not for himself…but to understand. “He’s my ex,” you answered simply, setting your shot glass down as Felix immediately pulled it close to himself again, waiting to pour until he was sure you’d finished a complete - if not short - sentence. “You dated him?” Felix asked in an almost dumbfounded way, like the idea of San having once been someone you cared about was unreal. “I almost married him,” you corrected, watching as Felix’s eyes widened briefly before he regained his composure. “I’m glad you didn’t,” he said quietly, putting the now empty soju bottle next to the sink before moving around the counter to stand next to you rather than across. You appreciated his proximity more than you’d want to admit.

“Dodged a bullet, didn’t I?” you murmured, a dry laugh leaving you as you stared down at the shot of soju, “Or, I guess, the bullet dodged me in favor of a different target.” “No…” Felix whispered, going wide-eyed, “He..?” “Yeah.” Silence ensued for a moment as Felix simply glanced at you, then to the floor, then back to you. “Married her, too, if the ring on his finger was anything to judge by,” you added, figuring if you were going to talk about this? You may as well get it all out. “Only thing that ring is gonna be good for is splitting my lip,” Felix said with a quiet, simmering anger, taking his shot before turning to look at you, “Nothing born of cheating is gonna last. He’ll be alone, and he’ll have no one to blame but himself.” “That’s what I tell myself, too,” you responded in kind, swallowing your soju just as he had moments ago, “But maybe I’m wrong. He’s married, and I don’t even believe in love.” “Because of him?” Felix asked quietly, carefully picking up the shot glasses and setting them near the sink, turning to face you as he leaned back on the counter. “Yeah. Because of him.”

Felix frowned, walking up to you and clapping his hands against your cheeks just hard enough to make you pay attention, though there was no sting. His stare looked intense, though not in the same way it did earlier at the gala. He looked angry then. Now he looked sad. “Don’t you dare give him that power,” Felix said sternly, his voice rumbling in his chest as he continued to hold your face, “He doesn’t deserve to have any influence over you or your life. Ever.” “Felix, it’s not that big of–” you began, wanting to assure him that it wasn’t something that needed tending to - at least not now. “Yes. It is.” He interrupted, lowering his hands and sighing softly, “I hate that he did that to you. I wish I’d punched him harder.” “Felix, really, I’m okay.” “No you’re not.” “I’ll be okay.” “I know.”

There was a long silence, interrupted only by the soft swishing of Felix’s hand through his hair, before he finally spoke. “I’m sorry I got so worked up,” he mumbled, still looking away, “I just…you’re important to me, and he hurt you and messed with your brain and–” “Felix, it’s okay,” it was your turn to interrupt now, and the softness of your own voice surprised you. “Thanks for telling me,” he said quietly, looking over at you with a sheepish little grin, the beginnings of the brightness you knew him for starting to return. “It’d be kind of unfair of me not to,” you conceded rather than accepting his gratitude, doing your best to return what you hoped was a semblance of a smile. “What? Why?” Felix asked, perplexion leading him into that all-too-familiar by now head tilt. “You’re trying to prove me wrong, right?” Felix nodded in response, to which you continued, “Shouldn’t you know why I hold my beliefs?” Felix paused, but then nodded, “I suppose so…but still. You didn’t have to tell me, y’know? But you did.” He was right. You didn’t have to tell Felix about San at all, let alone that you’d almost married him. You didn’t have to tell him that San was now getting to live the life that could’ve been yours if he’d stayed faithful. You didn’t have to, but… “I wanted to,” you said quietly, “I…haven’t really talked about it much.” “Will no one listen?” Felix asked innocently, now intent on understanding as much of you as you’d allow. “It’s not that, plenty of people asked.” “Why me?” That question gave you pause. Why Felix, of all people, to unload - albeit in very little detail - what happened with San to? You knew the answer.

Who else to tell but the man who made you a silly little mug that matters to you more than an award? Who else to tell but the man who left a date with his dream girl just to come find you and make sure you were alright? Who else to tell but the man who carried you to bed when you fell asleep in his truck? Who else to tell but the man who almost punched your best friend, and did punch your ex, simply because he wanted you safe? Felix was warm. He was sunlight, he was joy. He was security, dependable even though he might be a bit goofy at times. Felix was safe.

Who else would you tell if not Lee Felix? That was far too long of an answer to give the eagerly waiting man, however, so you settled for simply saying, “Because you’re you.”

And he smiled.

Felix smiling because of you was quickly becoming one of your favorite things, and when he rushed forward without warning to hug you? You realized his hugs may be one of them, too.

Hugging Felix was like being wrapped in a warm blanket after being out in the cold. Comfortable, easy, soothing.

Felix did not hold you too tightly, just enough to make sure you knew he had you, one of his hands absently rubbing your mid back. He smelled of the peach soju you’d shared earlier and remnants of his cologne, and he was warm. Not in the sense you usually saw him, but genuinely and truly warm. 

“You know what you need?” he posed his question with an eager smile as he pulled back from the hug, though you wished he hadn’t.

You don’t voice that, though, so instead you settled on a query of your own, “What’s that?” 

“Brownies.”

Of all the things to suggest, making brownies at midnight was not on the list of expectations from Felix.

Though at this point, it seemed, Felix had a habit of defying your expectations.

“Hand me the flour?”

You complied, pulling yourself from that train of thought to hand him the large bag of flour, to which he thanked you with that brilliant smile of his.

As you watched Felix expertly fold the batter into itself, you couldn’t help but wonder what else there was to him that you had yet to discover. As much as being taken aback by Felix wasn’t a problem, it also opened the door to an almost unhealthy level of curiosity to who he was when he wasn’t existing in your presence.

A curiosity you couldn’t quite identify the necessity for.

“How long have you been baking for?” you asked, rather than focusing on finding the root of your newfound interest in his life.

Felix paused in his stirring, setting the rubber spatula down to rest against the edge of the bowl as he hummed, answering after a brief moment of contemplation, “A few years, I think?” he began, sounding just as unsure of the answer as you would’ve been, “I started out trying to learn to impress a girl, but turns out she had a boyfriend.” You stifled the urge to roll your eyes; of course he would’ve learned in an attempt to find love. A so very Felix reason to pick up a hobby.

“I liked it, though,” he began, “Baking, that is…not that she had a boyfriend. That’d be weird,” he said with a small laugh, shaking his head as he looked back to the bowl of batter and added in some cocoa powder.

“What makes you like it so much?” you asked him, surprised by the interest you heard behind your own inquiry.

“Well,” he began with another smile as he blended the powder in the bowl, reaching for the chocolate chips to add into the sweet-smelling mixture, “It’s kind of cheesy…” he mumbled, setting the bowl aside to get a pan from beneath the stove.

“Hit me with it,” you said with a small laugh, watching as he poured the rich brown batter into the pan carefully.

“Okay…” he spoke hesitantly, opening the oven and sliding the tray in, “I like having a skill that makes people smile.”

That gave you pause.

While you hadn’t necessarily been wrong about the reason for his initial interest in the hobby being very true-to-form, something about knowing he’d continued because it made people happy struck you, as if there were no other reason that would make as much sense as that one did. Why you hadn’t expected it was beyond you, but you felt a warmth settling in your chest at the thought.

“To make people smile?” you inquired, to which he nodded.

“Yeah. Someone has a bad day? Baked goods. Celebrating? Baked goods. Friends coming over? Baked goods. They’re never really out of place, y’know? And they always make things better.”

You nodded, understanding what he meant but likely not as deeply as he felt it. The look on his face spoke leagues, he looked so proud of being able to do something that brought at least a bit of a bright point to someone’s day.

“That makes sense for you,” you answered him eventually, the corners of your lips turning upwards.

“Does it?” he countered, tilting his head as he picked up a towel to wipe any lingering brownie from his fingertips, “How do you figure?”

“Well, yeah,” you started, the words to say coming from your lips in an unplanned series of compliments that made Felix’s cheeks turn progressively darker shades of pink, “You’re selfless, Felix. You left a date to make sure I was okay, you remembered I like dumb novelty mugs, you’re always smiling and ready to help at a moment’s notice…so, yeah, I think it makes perfect sense that, even with a hobby, you want it to bring brightness into someone else’s life.”

Felix cleared his throat, a grin on his lips that he tried to hide by looking away bashfully, “Wow…I mean, thank you, I…” he trailed off, “I’m really not that great, though, y’know? I’m just…me.”

“Just you was the first person I felt safe sharing my past with San to, remember?” you countered immediately, an ache forming in your gut as you felt the self-deprecating nature of Felix’s comment about himself. You wondered if there were maybe something that had happened to him, just as something had happened to you, to plant such a seed of self doubt in his mind.

You wanted to find whatever it was and pluck it from his little blonde head.

“I guess you’re right…” he said quietly, looking up at you with a lopsided smile.

“No guessing about it, Felix. Just you is pretty great, remember that.” The seriousness with which you spoke those words to Felix surprised you, and apparently him as he paused for a moment with his lips slightly parted.

“Thank you,” he said quietly, still looking every part a flustered boy who hadn’t the slightest clue how to accept a compliment.

“Yeah,” you said back, equal sheepishness in your tone now that exactly what you’d said and how you’d said it registered with you. 

Time passed quietly, though not awkwardly after that conversation. Felix had busied himself by washing the mixing bowls and measuring cups while you sat on the couch, scrolling through your phone. A sudden ping almost made you jump, the comfortable silence broken by a pop-up denoting a new message.

Dumb Squirrel: hey, minho and i just got back to our hotel!

Dumb Squirrel: how was the gala?

Dumb Squirrel: did you win?

You couldn’t help but smile, the startling dings becoming less jarring and more comforting as they continued to flood through. 

You: how’s Jeju?

You: I won, yeah.

You: The gala was…something.

Jisung’s reply came almost the second after you’d hit send, rendering switching back to scrolling socials a bit pointless as you tapped the drop-down.

Dumb Squirrel: “something”???

Dumb Squirrel: explain.

You sighed. Explaining this to Jisung may very well be as exhausting if not more than the actual events that had occurred. You could already guess that he’d react poorly, if not violently - not that Jisung could take a punch, let alone throw one. As tempting as lying was, this was your best friend…and you knew he’d find out eventually.

You: well…San was there.

The absolute flurry of texts you were then bombarded with were nothing short of the literary equivalent of a storm.

Dumb Squirrel: WHAT?!

Dumb Squirrel: what the fuck?

Dumb Squirrel: W H Y the fuck?

Dumb Squirrel: you didn’t call me why?

Dumb Squirrel: are you okay?

Dumb Squirrel: do you need me to come home?

You waited a moment, just to be sure he was done with his rapid-fire questions before responding.

You: I’m okay. He said it was to save me from embarrassment, but I don’t know if I believe that. I didn’t call because I was at the gala and you’re busy. You don’t need to come home.

You: Felix kinda saved me.

Jisung’s next text came in slower, a welcome relief from what was beginning to tempt you to turn off your ringer.

Dumb Squirrel: Felix showed?

Dumb Squirrel: I was hoping he would! thank god he did.That was…puzzling. Why had Jisung assumed Felix would come?

You: Did you have something to do with him showing up?

You: I swear if you gave him a guilt trip…

Dumb Squirrel: No, no, nothing like that. He just asked me what the gala was out of nowhere, so I told him. And he didn’t like that you were alone, and asked me if you’d have liked someone there.

Dumb Squirrel: all I did was tell him that yeah, you probably would.

You frowned, this made no sense…

You: How did he even know to ask about it? I never told him.

Dumb Squirrel: I don’t know, that’s a Felix question.

You: and you had NOTHING to do with it?

Dumb Squirrel: would I lie and pass up on being your knight in shining armor by association?

He had a point. Jisung would never pass up on an opportunity to boast about saving the day for you, even when it was something as simple as bringing you a coffee when you had a deadline coming up…there was no way he’d not admit to sending someone to accompany you at the gala.

“Hey, brownies are coming out!” Felix chimed happily from the kitchen, pink oven mitts on his hands bringing a fond look to your face.

You: Felix made me brownies, gotta go. Have fun with minho!

Dumb Squirrel: You’re still with him???

Dumb Squirrel: 👀👀👀👀👀👀👀

Dumb Squirrel: details????

Dumb Squirrel: bitch????

You ignored the texts with a small exhale of a laugh before leaving your phone on the arm of the couch, joining Felix in the kitchen. 

The smell in the air was heavenly. Cocoa and a hint of coffee filling your lungs, replacing any thought you had other than just how good something with that rich of a smell would taste. Your mouth watered, and it took more effort than you’d care to admit in order to remember what you wanted to ask Felix.

“So, Jisung texted,” you began, hoping to maybe find a smooth way to ask without sounding accusatory. Simply asking straightforwardly how he knew about the gala felt a bit too brash, a bit too harsh for someone like Felix. 

Felix was gentle, so you would be gentle.

“Oh! What’d he have to say?” Felix asked happily while slicing the brownies carefully with a knife, taking a spatula and scooping two out of the pan and onto little plates adorned with pastel flowers along the edges.

“He and Minho are back to their hotel room,” you started, pressing your lips together as you wondered how exactly you’d tackle the elephant in the room that only you could see.

“Oh, that’s right, they’re on vacation, right?” he asked innocently, handing you a plate expectantly.

“Mhm, Jeju,” you said quietly, sitting down at the island counter with your brownie. Why was it so hard to just ask?

“Ooh! Pretty this time of year,” he noted, sitting one seat over from you and setting his own plate down, immediately taking a bite of the brownie with a pleased grumble from deep in his chest, “Try it!” he encouraged, covering his mouth with his hand so as not to show off the mouthful he had.

It was impossible not to, when his eyes sparkled while stared at you. The question could wait.

You lifted the still-warm brownie in your hand, taking a bite from the corner. As soon as it hit your tongue, the perfect mixture of crispy and gooey, you felt your eyes widen with an unintentional exclamation of, “Mmm!” leaving your lips, brows now sky high as you chewed, savoring it for everything it was.

It was more than just a brownie. It was a gift from a boy filled with sunshine - a boy who’d saved you tonight, despite your uncertainty as to how he’d known you’d needed saving in the first place. It was made specifically for you, by a boy who’d learned for someone else entirely.

The boy who liked to bake to make people happier baked these for you, to make you happier.

That was more important right now.

“These are amazing, Felix!” you complimented, lips upturned without you having the intention for them to be, to which he grinned right back.

“Really?” he chirped, straightening up as he accepted the praise, his fluffy hair bouncing around his head as he almost vibrated with the happiness that compliment gave him, “They’re my own recipe, I’m glad you like them!”

“I do!” you nodded before taking another bite, the flavor being perfect - not too sweet, hints of the bitter from the instant coffee powder he’d used in them, “You could sell these!”

Felix shook his head, “They lose their meaning then,” he said earnestly, “It’s not special anymore if just anyone can have them.”

That made your heart lurch in your chest.

You were not just anyone to Lee Felix.

“I guess I see your point,” you managed to speak, rather than pondering exactly what his explanation meant to you. The two of you ate in silence for a while, your brownie being nothing but a few crumbs on a plate when you remembered your original question.

“Felix?”

“Hmm?” he asked, picking up both of your plates and carrying them to the sink.

“How did you know where I was?” you asked him, feeling much more settled now that you’d had a moment of peace with him.

“Oh…” Felix trailed off, a breathless chuckle leaving him as he turned to face you, running a hand through his hair - something you’d learned he did often when nervous, “I think you sent me a picture on accident instead of Jisung.”

“Huh?” you asked him, reaching for your phone only to remember you’d left it on the couch. Felix quickly pulled his own out, saving you the effort, and opening your texts to show you the photo and the text that had mistakenly been sent to him.

He was right in the assumption the photo and message had been meant for Jisung, a dry humor to the ‘pray for me’ you’d attached once you’d arrived to the gala sending off pings in your head as you realized that the message hadn’t, in fact, made it to the intended recipient.

It was an accident, albeit a lucky one.

“And you came..?” you asked him, handing the phone back to him in an almost-daze. 

“Well, yeah. I asked Jisung what it was, and once I found out you were all alone at such an important thing for you, I couldn’t just leave you by yourself,” he mumbled, looking away shyly as if admitting his own kindness were difficult for him.

“But you were out with Ryujin,” you pointed out, though if anyone knew that it was Felix.

“I know…I told her I had an emergency with a friend, though, and she understood,” he said, waving a hand almost as though trying to shoo away your concerns.

“How did you even know it was an emergency? You didn’t even know about San,” you spoke quietly, sounding every bit as confused as you felt.

“I didn’t need to know about him to know that being there for you was important,” he shrugged, still downplaying just how big it had been to you.

“More important than a date with the girl you’re head over heels for?” you asked him, incredulous that - without knowing about the discomfort of an ex being there - Felix still found being there for you to be urgent.

“Sure, why not?” he asked, his brows furrowing in genuine confusion as to how that was even a question, “I can reschedule a date, you can’t reschedule an award show.”

He…wasn’t wrong, no…but it felt almost foreign to have the show put on such a high pedestal. You had to beg San, back when you’d actually wanted him there, to come. A man you were supposed to marry basically needed to be dragged to it. And here was Felix…a friend who you’d made in the strangest of circumstances, who’d dropped something he’d wanted for months, unprompted, to support you.

It took everything you had not to cry - and Felix could tell.

“Hey, hey, did I say something wrong?” he asked, hurriedly making his way to your side and putting a hand on your shoulder - a warm, safe, comforting hand. The same hand on the same shoulder he’d comforted you with at the gala…

“No, no, it’s not that, it’s just…” you trailed off, cursing the wetness you felt in your eyes as your cheeks grew hot, shaking your head as it felt like your throat grew tighter.

His hand squeezed your shoulder, but he didn’t speak. You didn’t need to look at him to know he held a furrow between his brows, concern written on every facet of his face.

“I just can’t believe you’d show up for me,” you finished your thought, your voice cracking as you managed to keep the tears from spilling down your face.

“Why wouldn’t I?” Felix said softly, moving his hand to your back to rub small, soothing circles there.

“Because I’m…me,” you said with a dry laugh, wiping your eyes on the back of your hands - they still smelled like the brownies, and it was strangely comforting.

“None of that,” Felix said with a frown, reaching behind him to grab a paper towel in case you’d need to wipe your eyes or blow your nose, “Just you is pretty great, too, y’know.”

He echoed the sentiment you’d given him earlier, though it felt almost uncanny to have reversed towards you now. Swallowing the lump in your throat, you looked up at him and nodded with a quiet sniffle.

“Yeah?” you managed to ask, your voice thick with emotion.

“I wouldn’t make you brownies if you weren’t.” His words were like an oath, his face devoid of any hint of humor as he nodded in return.

And you believed him. You believed that somehow, Lee Felix, twenty-three year old bartender, found just you to be enough. 

Enough to make his special recipe he saved for making others happy for. Enough to leave the girl he was hopelessly in love with alone at a bar. Enough to punch your ex in the face. Enough to carefully clean your face up. Enough to remember you collected, let alone to make a silly novelty mug for. Enough to carry you up to your apartment when you’d fallen asleep. Enough to care about.

Even after the threat of tears were gone for the time being, that thought would stick with you.

You were enough to be cared for, and that thought would surround you just as much as the scent of brownies and Felix’s shampoo as you fell asleep in his bed that night, his light snoring from the couch being the sweetest lullaby.

It was the best night’s sleep you’d had since San left, and the final thoughts in your head were that you certainly hoped Felix knew that he, too, was enough. More than enough. You hoped he knew that everything he’d done for you had given you a deep sense of peace, quieting those voices in the back of your mind that would whisper things into your ears to make you doubt yourself. You hoped he knew that his brownies made you happy. You hoped he knew that you’d always be grateful for just how much he’d done for you - not only in the last twenty-four hours, but since you’d met him.

You were already grateful, too, for the things he had yet to do, because there was no doubt in your mind that there would, in fact, be more he would do for you.

Not that you’d ever ask him. You wouldn’t have to. That was just Lee Felix.

[mattepurplehat]

i furried the green man

[eretzyisrael]

by Itamar Marcus

In a recent interview, al-Masri said that Arafat had told him that the agreement was only intended to serve as “a temporary solution.” The “two-state solution,” said al-Masri, was to have served only as the “first stage” in a wider plan.

“When Arafat presented the two-state solution at Oslo, I was very angry at him, because it said 22% for the Palestinians and the rest for the Israelis. I came to him in Tunis, and he told me: ‘[Calm] down.’ Our thought in all this was the two-state solution as a first stage… a temporary solution, until [the Palestinians] will live comfortably and are satisfied, and there will be the right of return and the like, and we will live in one democratic state [i.e., in place of Israel],” he said.

PMW has exposed many testimonies of people close to Arafat confirming that the PLO leader was never a sincere peace partner. Already in 1994, right after signing the Accords, Arafat compared the agreement the Hudaybiyyah peace treaty signed by the Prophet Muhammad—a 10-year truce between Muhammad and the Quraish Tribe of Mecca, which Muhammad broke two years later when he attacked them and conquered Mecca.

“This agreement, I am not considering it more than the agreement which had been signed between our Prophet Muhammad and Quraish, and you remember the Caliph Omar had refused this agreement and considered it ‘Sulha Dania’ [a despicable truce],” said Arafat.

“But Muhammad had accepted it and we are accepting now this [Oslo] peace accord,” he added.

Palestinian journalist and editor Abd al-Bari Atwan, who met with the Palestinian leader when he was in exile in Tunis, has also confirmed that Arafat told him that he merely wanted to use the Oslo Accords as a way to bring back “the PLO and the resistance” to “Palestine”—in other words, as a way to return terror to Israel.

[turboacek-blog]

Was it a trap?

Pod Meets World had a debate on whether Topanga trapped Cory with the whole Lauren situation

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Danielle and Will are on the side that it wasn’t a trap and Ryder is on the side it was a trap

They asked viewers to send voice memos and such but I just wanted to write my own thoughts here plus I’m very late/behind on the podcast lol

Summary: Cory and Topanga are boyfriend and girlfriend senior year in high school and while the continuity is messy we are going with the story they’ve been together since they were little babies (like 4 years old), on a school trip Cory ends up falling for another girl and talked to her a lot and bonded to the point she kissed him

Before leaving the girl Lauren wrote Cory a letter and the letter made its way to Topanga's hands, that’s how she finds out about what we call cheating causing a rift between Cory and Topanga

Lauren comes to visit Cory so many miles away just to speak to him at the same time Cory is going to try and reconcile with Topanga with assistance from his best friend Shawn

Topanga says if Cory needs to be 100% sure about his feelings he should talk to Lauren which Cory does

After hanging out with Lauren Cory becomes 100% sure about Topanga but Topanga still breaks up with him on the principle he has to test and go see if he likes the other girl more than her

So people think Topanga trapped Cory as she says to go so he went and she’s breaking up with her for listening to her

A lot of other details that matter but that’s the core of it

So was it a trap?

Yes and no

I think the show presents and shows it’s a trap, Shawn even flat out says it. And everything after makes it sound more and more like a trap on Topanga’s part

But I also don’t think what Topanga said was that vague to be seen as manipulation or a “trap”. It wasn’t explicitly clear but I don’t think she was being so cryptic that I don’t think it’s hard to register she wanted him to leave with her instead of spending time with Lauren

My answer is it really is a perspective thing as I think you can trap someone without meaning to so Topanga didn’t think it was a trap while Cory (and Shawn) did due to each side's available knowledge

It’s similar to the we were on a break debate from Friends with the confusion around the word break, Ross thought breakup and Rachel thought pause then it was later clarified that even if it was a breakup sleeping with someone right after a breakup is still bad

So Topanga asking if Cory wants to talk to Lauren is in Topanga’s mind seeing if he’s choosing her or Lauren, while Cory reads it as okay I get a moment to sort things out and then decide

If Topanga understood that Cory wasn’t thinking that was the moment to decide she might of worded it better, just like if Cory knew that was the moment to decide he would of probably answered differently as well

Additional and random thoughts

The situation is already in a bad situation as everyone agrees Cory was in a cheating or cheating-like situation (depending on what you think constitutes as cheating for you)

So the situation alone has the grounds for a break up there alone

Let alone their prior history in the show such as other moments when girls came onto Cory

The trap debate is around the wording Topanga uses as people think if it was worded better Cory would not have talked to Lauren if he better understood what Topanga meant, which was evident by the end of the episode where Cory was upset

Since she wasn’t being explicitly clear it can feel misleading or vague or manipulation and if she was clear they wouldn’t have broken up

My stance is I feel they would of broken up either way

Even if Cory was 100% sure at that moment Topanga was already hurt enough from everything that they probably would have broken up regardless

Now it would have made their eventual getting back together easier to swallow if he hadn’t gone on that ‘date’ with Lauren

But I don’t think Cory leaves with Topanga then everything is fixed and perfectly fine

Cory leaves with Topanga and then they’re still going to talk like they initially planned and then Cory being Cory isn’t going to say the correct things to put Topanga at ease especially since in this scenario he wasn’t able to properly sort out his feelings for Lauren so Topanga would not have been satisfied or even hurt by Cory’s answers and still broken up with him

The Lauren aspect is tricky…

I do think there’s a version where Lauren never shows up so Cory doesn’t get conflicted as it really was bad timing

Whether he felt that way deep down or not, he was ready to get back with Topanga and the moment he does so Lauren appears throwing him off before he could even recover Topanga shows up

If Lauren showed up idk 5 minutes before or after, it would make a lot of things different as it could mean Cory gets a chance to talk to either of them before the other arrives, maybe he succeeded in getting Lauren out before Topanga arrived, there are a lot of possibilities if Lauren didn’t arrive precisely when she does

I agree with Will from the podcast in the standpoint that Lauren is essentially a villain in this whole arc

She flirts with a boy that she knows has a girlfriend, she kisses that same boy, gives him a love letter, and when that boy doesn’t write her back she travels a really long way to see that boy again

If it was framed a different way Lauren would be looked at as evil, crazy, or desperate but the show presents more as somewhat romantic in the lens of ‘wow she travels so far just to see him’ again versus a girl obsessing over a guy she knew for like 3 days who has a girlfriend

Cory…

So it’s been pretty accepted that Cory in the show isn’t the best person

Part of it is that as the main character, he’s put in these ridiculous situations and due to having to learn lessons and such messes up and doesn’t always do the right thing

But the other part is that we see a lot of the characters conform to his reality in a sense

Cory is an awkward teen/young adult who has moments where he acts like he knows what’s going on and either is proven wrong so he can learn the lesson or he acts like he knows what he’s doing and the world conforms around him not learning a lesson

The podcast brings up the universe a lot as the way the characters talk about Love does make it seem like a soulmate destiny sort of thing vs just two people who really like each other have history and compatibility and etc

To the point where other characters like Shawn Topanga and others also think the same thing

So the things is Cory in this scenario has the weird blend of reality of yes it’s possible to actually like someone that’s not the person you knew since you were 4 years old but also in the world where Cory and Topanga love each other to the point they are that old married couple at 16 years old and after this would be engaged shortly after would also never entertain someone else

This is a storyline that would have made more sense earlier on like season 3 but it being at this specific point is what makes it messy

I don’t want to defend Cory here but I also feel this is just his personality good or bad as this similar thing has happened before like the Topanga sick episode, and on one side yes he should grow out of this but on the other, it just seems a part of who he is

Topanga

So Danielle’s main point is that the writers threw Topanga’s character under the bus since they couldn’t make Cory too much of the bad guy to the audience and viewers so they changed it so it was more like a trap even if the way it was said didn’t imply that

The beauty and tragedy with Topanga is she truly does love Cory and probably understands him more than even Shawn as she’s been one of the only characters that has been able to see his true intentions even in his mistakes

On one hand, I can see how making the usually articulate smart character in Topanga not be as articulate and more emotional as character assassination

On the other, I can see a character like Topanga who has just as much if not more fed into the whole that she and Cory are destined to be together, be that emotional and shaken up to break up with Cory but still remain friendly and eventually get back together and ask him to marry her

Like Cory is the focal character and for a good chunk of the show Topanga is a recurring character and is barely even in some episodes so we see his viewpoint on love and much more

But Topanga is arguably worse than him as she’s the one who stays with him after that first kiss scandal when younger, she’s the one who moves away from her parents so she can stay with him, she’s the one who claims she’s afraid to be alone with him because she doesn’t think she can contain herself sexually, she’s the one that eventually asks him back and she’s the one that proposes

Topanga is arguably more in love with Cory than Cory is with her (the whole Cory x Shawn thing lol)

So I think in the lens of this character who loves this other character more, then yes I can see logic going out the window in this tense situation

While Topanga’s character has changed over the show at a certain point her romantic subplot with Cory has been pretty consistent I feel

I know a lot of people would never even entertain Cory again but I also think Topanga views Cory differently than us

~~~~~~~

Final thoughts

It’s interesting when first watching the episode the trap question didn’t even appear in my mind lol

But as I think about it and listened to the debate about it the whole thing is so manufactured and unbelievable their break up here doesn’t even fully register as a breakup, especially with future knowledge

This is like those hypothetical questions that you get in trouble with but for the characters, it actually happened

Like what would you do if you start to bond with a new person to the point of catching some feelings and that person kisses you?

Then you’re literally forced to pick between the two when you’re feelings are at their most confused

I think there’s the simple/ideal answer of staying with your existing partner

Then a more realistic answer of trying to sort out your feelings better and need time and so on

This brings up a lot of other questions like were they ever truly in love if there was doubt, she kissed him so is it the same as he kissed her or is there a difference, would it really matter if he told her immediately about the kiss?

Etc etc

Edit 11/21:24: completely forgot about the Starry Night episode lol

Which basically reframed again the whole talk all night and kiss thing by flipping it on Topanga with the boy Ricky

And I guess my final somewhat updated thoughts about CoryxTopanga are…

The show whether due to different writers or it’s general inconsistency with the lore (like one writer knew about the Lauren thing but didn’t know all the details when writing the get back together episode) wants the take away to be about the surface level issue of talking all night and she kissed him being while not great is ultimately harmless in the name of love, I guess kinda similar to how some think a person should never dance with anyone other than their partner and when they do it can be seen bad but maybe not permanent breakup worthy

And I think the writers or maybe even the viewers at the time didn’t equate what Cory did to cheating/infidelity as they keep not framing it that way

And I think it really does get down to the whole how are we looking at “love” as they are like 17 here so it’s part of they’re so young let them date other people and what they feel isn’t actual love or shouldn’t be taking it as seriously like they’re 30+ married and etc

And the podcast episode about how if this were a married couple with kids and together for 15+ years then yeah maybe the whole starting to like someone else might not be an automatic divorce due to the circumstances but it being in high school should mean you should be over that person and move on and etc

And I know the podcast is very critical on the whole destiny viewpoint on love and think and feel that’s not what love is and think it’s actual detrimental to especially the kids that watched it growing up

But I guess to me a lot of kid/teen shows that had an actual romantic subplot also did this so it’s not a Boy Meets World thing, maybe some lines are way more explicit in BMW than other shows like literally saying the universe wants them together but I don’t think it did any real harm than other shows

Plus maybe hot take but I’d rather people take from Cory & Topanga journey on “true” love than plenty of other shows takes on romance as at least Cory and Topanga check almost all the boxes you would want in a couple

And I think there’s a general conversation to be had about cheating as some people think it’s the worse thing you can ever do and some think it’s forgivable and I don’t know what that percentage is in the world but in the podcast they all are mostly on the same page so it would be interesting to hear someone that has the viewpoint of what Cory did was forgivable be heard in a conversation as I feel that’s what they writers were feeling at the time at least

[gordontv]

drew wubby :)

[scottspencer4011]

🦦

[gaslightgatekeepgirlbosscombat]

Group G, Round 1, Poll 2:

Propaganda under the cut

Spooky

Tried to take over the world, got trapped in a tree, got freed from the tree and immediately attempted to take over the world again. that's determination right there

Love Quinn

literally have you seen this woman in s3??? literally having to be a mother AND dealing with joe goldberg's bullshit- honestly she was right in killing all the people she did. honestly believe she would kill anyone without any fucks given under the right circumstances. killed an anti vaxxer, killed her husband's mistress/weird obsession. also the iconic lines she has during this season... "i'm not the problem, my husband is the problem," "this time i'm letting it [poison] absorb through the skin," "well if your marriage is so perfect, stay together. die together."

[rathologic]

Added a guide to ripping usable P1 models to the PMW... this has become somewhat less convenient recently because it's hard to find the free version of NinjaRipper, but still doable. :-)

[pitagain]

#365DaysOfVGM Day 159:

Title Screen (Pac-Man World 3 [2005])

Listen closely, it’s a very ambient choice, to say the least! Although technically an excerpt of Bot Boneyard from the same game, it’s my absolute favorite part of the whole soundtrack. Such a foreboding yet mysterious atmosphere to communicate the game’s different tone perfectly, with the title screen’s view of clouds flying over a grassy mountain range, as if Pac Man is on an adventure much greater in scope than ever before!

I don’t remember the game being bad either, just a bit on the slow side, on top of featuring the endearing duo of a fully voice-acted Pac-Man and the gray ghost Orson, former foes in the 1st Pac-Man World turned allies to face a new villain! Just don’t expect the journey to be very serious, Pac-Man himself is what I’d call the wisecracking type with hints of sarcasm throughout. Considering how long its been since I played Pac-Man World 3 however, my opinion on the game might change for the better or worse upon replay.

On another topic, I guess Re-Pac from last year is bringing more attention to the other entries in the series, so it’d be interesting to see how they’d handle the 3rd entry, VAs and all, seeing as they made a new story event in Re-Pac to bridge the 1st and 3rd games together more nicely

(Length: 2+ minutes)

^(Go to 0:12 if your browser doesn’t go to it automatically)^

[itsthechocopuff]

hello! hope you're doing alright - Ive been binge-reading your "Pulling My Weight" story and what its absolutetly fucking increadible and I just cant stop reading. I could say a million and one things right now, but this is really a masterpiece <3 Ive been wondering if this is okay if i translate this work into Ukrainian please? I'd link the story to original one and post it on ao3 only - but if you're not really into than, I understand :)

ok this is SUPER LATE but yes of course you can translate!! good luck and thank you for asking!! <3

[madiealexa]

[eretzyisrael]

by Nan Jacques Zilberdik

Another fact about Barghouti PMW exposed is that he serves as supervisor of academic studies in prison, teaching and tutoring other prisoners who are studying for their MA degrees in “Israel Studies.”

Released terrorist murderer Karim Younes shed more light on Barghouti’s doings as a teacher recently, when he praised Barghouti at a Fatah ceremony honoring Barghouti.

Younes spoke with awe about terrorist Barghouti, telling the audience of his dedication to his terrorist prisoner students — teaching for hours while sitting on an iron pipe with a rag over it. Younes related that 200 of Barghouti’s students have completed MA degrees under his supervision:

Released terrorist prisoner Karim Younes: “Marwan … has been a leader since his youth, and he is a Fatah member and a member of its [Fatah] Central Committee … [In prison] we would call him: ‘The professor who sits on a pole.’ Forgive me [the expression] ‘the professor who sits on a pole.’ I cannot explain to you how tough, persistent, and loyal he is, because he is the man behind the great achievement, the achievement of academic studies, the systematic studies in the Israeli prisons. No one can describe how this uncompromising man can sit on a bit of iron pipe and put a rag or torn blanket on it and sit from 11:00 a.m. until 3:00 p.m. and lecture to his students, of whom 200 have already completed a master’s degree … At 11:00 a.m. he goes down, loaded with books, the textbooks are in his hands, and he continues until 3:00 p.m. without a break with the prisoner students so that they will complete their studies. They complete their studies at Al-Quds [Open] University, but they do not complete their studies like in regular universities … Those who were released and continued to study in universities [outside prison] know the difference between the studies inside prison and outside. Studying with brother Marwan — if the [regular] study material is two books, with Marwan it’s seven. A regular class is an hour and a half, with Marwan [it’s] four hours.” [emphasis added] [Official PA TV, May 8, 2023]