#PLS IGNORE THAT I FORGOT HIS HALO THANKS

[featherdusterbelphie]

[hwauas]

🎭: "a voice inside of him"

jeong yunho (정윤호) - 2, 716 words

     Yunho was running on the empty streets. his eyes were shining because of the streets light illuminating the dark night, and hope. the hope he was feeling deep inside of him. the hope to reach his friend running, running again. still running. running away. never stopping. never turning back to wait for Yunho. 

     “wait! wait for me! stop running away!”

Yunho was screaming out after his friend. he wanted and needed to reach him.

“pl-please!” 

     the shape he was seeing slowly slowed down, and was only walking. the steps still were leading Yunho's friend somewhere through the streets, somewhere in the city. 

Yunho was out of breath. and when he reached his friend, he found a way to escape. again. Yunho didn't catch him. for a reason he didn't know, his friend managed to escape before Yunho could grab his wrist.

     on the opposite pavement, after the road, his friend's shape. standing there. waiting for him, for Yunho.

the tall man looked on both sides of the road, and ran across the asphalt. any cars. any car lights. any horn. any noise, besides Yunho's breath.

he was short-winded, he had trouble catching his breath. but he kept running after him. he was running away for a reason he didn't know. he needed to catch him to know, to ask questions. he needed answers. 

why his best start to run away for no reason? why was his friend avoiding him like that? 

     “stop running away from me!”

Yunho was still running after his friend with teary eyes. 

“why.. why are you doing this to me..?”

each tears his eyes let out were rolling on both sides of his forehead, to his temples.

“stop.. please.. it's dark.. it's cold.. i'm tired.. i just want you by my side.. please.. Mingi!”

     the man Yunho called Mingi kept running. even though he was looking back at Yunho, he was running at a high speed. Yunho couldn't see his face perfectly, yet he was sure his friend's eyes were almost closed, as if he was smiling.

Yunho tried to keep running. he tried his best, but he couldn't run indefinitely. when he felt he couldn't handle more the effort, he stopped running and bent over; his hands on his thighs, the head still up to catch his breath, and few drops of sweat were falling on the ground. he was breathing hard, his chest was going up and down quickly. 

     Afar, the shape also stopped running or walking. the shape was standing there, in the halo of a street light. the human was looking at Yunho, waiting for him. from where he was, Yunho was sure his friend wasn't short-winded. as if he didn't run. worse: as he didn't need to breathe in general. 

     “Min-mingi! please! stop..!”

Yunho's tears get mixed up with the sweat drops on the ground. he could beg to have his friend by his side. he could beg for him to be here. 

     when Yunho was alright, he straightened up. the first thing he did was looking for the shape, but it simply disappeared. nothing left. just an empty street, with a hopeless young man, looking for his friend running away for no reason.

     Yunho ran to the same halo the shape was standing in. and as he looked around, he found it back again. the shape was pointing at something he couldn't see. and the shape ran towards the thing he was pointing to.

Yunho followed him, and again, as he turned into a street, the shape disappeared. nothing left.

     Yunho fell in his knees, and cried out. he was calling Mingi. he was crying so hard he could have lost his voice. he wanted his friend. he needed his friend.

a breeze brushing his whole cold body felt like a hug. felt like an embrace encouraging him to do his best, and cheering him up.

he was so hopeless, this breeze was all he had at the moment, and all he could rely on right now.

      with a little bit of determination, he wiped away his tears, and stood back on his feet. they slowly but surely led him further in the street. and in the shadow, in front of a front door, the man was standing here.

he was here, facing Yunho. as if he was waiting for him. 

     “Mingi please. don't leave me again. i need to know..”

Yunho begged as he slowly came closer to the quiet man, as if he was trying to come closer to catch him.

“why are you running away from me? what did i do wrong?”

Yunho stopped walking when he noticed the man was about to leave.

“are you hating me? aren't i your best friend anymore? don't you believe me anymore?” 

     the whole atmosphere was quiet as soon as Yunho stopped talking. Mingi didn't answer. Mingi didn't move. Mingo didn't do anything. and it got Yunho going so crazy: what happened, what was he feeling, what did he experience because of Yunho to run away like this. 

     “but please answer me! you can't stay silent after this! you can't leave me by myself, without any valid answers!”

tears again rolled down Yunho's cheeks. but this time, he didn't wipe them away. what's the point? he would cry again because of Mingi.

“tell me. tell me, even one word. i don't care. something. but give me a reason.”

     “Yunho.”

     Yunho stayed quiet. he would have his answers. he didn't want to disturb his best friend. he didn't want to say anything that could hold Mingi back from saying something.

     “Yunho. look at me.”

     the tall man frowned when he felt a hand in his, even though Mingi was still in front of him.

     “Yunho, don't ignore me. look at me. just look at me.”

you gently turned Yunho's head to you, resting a hand on his cheek. you were softly holding his hand, making it a little bit warmer. your thumb softly wiped away his tears.

“Yunho. it doesn't exist. it's your imagination only. Mingi isn't here anymore, you know that.”

     Yunho looked back at the spot Mingi was. but nothing. there was nothing, besides your opened front door. 

     your friend started to cry harder as he noticed this was only his imagination. a mirage. Mingi wasn't here. wasn't real. 

     “y/n i... i can't do this.. i'm seeing him everywhere..”

he cried out in your arms. your top got wet because of his tears, but it was the least of your worries. 

“why.. why did he have to leave now..?” 

     you softly grabbed Yunho's hand, and pulled him inside of your house. you sat on your sofa, and again pulled him for him to come. you wrapped both of your arms around him and tried to lull him.

     you never knew Mingi. you've heard about him. you've met him through Yunho talking about him. but you never talked to him.

Yunho told you in the past Mongi left suddenly. Yunho never told you why, no matter how many times you asked him. it was a mystery for you, and it looks like it would remain a mystery for you. some things are meant to be like this, and won’t ever change.

you knew a few things about Mingi. the few things Yunho told you by himself. you knew what he looked like, because Yunho showed you many pictures about him. and you knew a little about himself: he was very cheerful, he often was looking on the bright side, and even though he was quite discreet, he would always have the right words to support his friends.

     Yunho got calmer into your arms. he was sniffing after crying this much in your embrace. you wiped away the last tears on We

his cheeks. softly, you kissed his forehead and bent over to look at his face directly.

     “you calmer Yun?”

     “i am.. thank you y/n…”

he stayed snuggled up against you. at this moment, he looked like a little baby. this baby you want to protect at all cost, and this baby you want to hug and kiss multiple time, showing how much you love him and want to protect him. 

     “wanna tell me what happened?”

     Yunho nodded without even thinking about it twice. anyways he was the kind to talk a lot about what was bothering him, and would never hesitate to tell you what’s bothering him if you ask him to talk about it. 

“i swear it looked so real.. i really thought he was here, in front of me. i miss him so much, when i saw him.. i totally forgot he was no longer here. i thought it was him. so i approached him. and.. this is when he started to run away. no matter how fast i was running, no matter how loud i was calling after him, he never stopped. he still was running in front of me. the only times he stopped were when i was stopping because i was out of breath. he was waiting for me. and when i was running again after him, he was running too.”

Yunho rubbed an eye with his sleeve, and got even closer to you — as if it was possible. 

“a-and.. i don’t know how is it possible, and i don’t know how this happened, but he suddenly disappeared when you called me, in front of your house..”

     “Yunho, none of this was real.”

you tightened your hold around him.

“we both know you still can’t accept he left. we both know you’re still hoping you would see him a day or another in front of your house, waiting for you to go and play basketball or something. seeing him is a logical consequence. and you won’t see him anymore when you’ll accept the truth, when you’ll accept he’s not here anymore. you have let him go, Yun. and this doesn’t mean you’ll be forgetting him.”

     “i.. i can’t.. there are so many answers i’m looking for..”

     “you’ll find them once you’ll be letting him go, Yun. you can’t stay like that, you can’t hurt yourself even more. this is very unhealthy for you..”

you bit your lip as Yunho stayed quiet. you couldn’t even interpret this silence. was it because he was thinking about your words? was it because he didn’t know what to say, whether because he couldn’t agree with you, or because you were right and couldn’t deny it?

“will you work on it? will you work on letting him go?”

     Yunho heavily sighed. with the previous sadness and bout of crying, he stifled. he rubbed his puffed up eyes, again with his sleeve. you gently rubbed his scalp, and fixed some of his strands. you were looking at him like you would be looking at a treasure. he was your little treasure.

“i’ll try.. but i can’t do this alone…”

     “i’ll be here…”

     you both stayed there. you didn’t move an inch. you kept him close to you, until his breath wasn’t twitching anymore, and until you felt him calmer in your arms. you then let him go off, and went to your front door to lock him; no way you were letting him go anywhere tonight. you went by his sides again, and took both of his hands.

     “come with me. we’ll get ready to try and sleep. you’ll sleep with me, okay baby?”

     Yunho followed you, his hands in yours. you pushed him on the edge of your bed, and left for a moment to go to your bathroom. you needed to grab some things there, and for Yunho too, like physiological saline for Yunho’s eyes that may be dry. 

     in the other room, Yunho was lost in his mind, looking at the night through your window. but suddenly, he snapped out of his mind. a shape was standing in front of him. a shape he could recognise with his eyes closed. Mingi. again. 

his face was hidden by shadows. and the shape seemed less clear than before.

     “thank you, Yunho. you’re doing great. i needed this. i’ll forever be here, in your heart.”

     when you came back, Yunho was curled up, like a ball, on your bed. he was looking at the window, and his eyes were teary. he was again about to cry. but nothing was standing at your window, before or behind. absolutely nothing.

in no time, you knew he was thinking about Mingi, or even have seen him again in front of him. an another mirage. mirages he couldn't control, and which won't ever stop if he doesn't try his best to accept the truth.

     “what did he tell you this time..?”

you sat beside the little ball which was Yunho. you rubbed his back to show him some support. this situation was saddening you, but you weren’t the one you should feel sorry for.

     “he told me.. i was doing great. and he’ll still be living in my heart.. but he needed me to start and move on..”

     you knew this mirage and what he thought he heard may be in fact his subconscious. this is why he couldn’t control it, and you knew it. and it was proof that, even for him, this situation and his incapacity to move on was hurting him too.

“that’s right, Yun. moving on doesn’t mean forget. it means accepting what you can’t control, and living with this. everything will be fine. we will go through this together.”

you softly kissed your friend’s forehead, to show him a little bit of support, and you stood up.

“lay down, Yun. your eyes are red, i got you some physiological saline.”

     Yunho layed down as you asked, and you sat on the edge of the bed, next to him. you slowly bent over his body, to his face, and dropped a few drops of the liquid in both of his eyes. as his eyes were closed letting the product work on his precious dark eyes, you stayed above him. you were softly stroking his cheek, and admiring his beauty.

only two bedside lamps were illuminating the room. it was quite gloomy, but bright enough for you to perfectly take in Yunho’s beauty. how could something like this happen to someone as joyful as him? even though the loss affected him, on his best days, you were perceiving the real him. the one Mingi knew and took with him when he left. this Yunho you loved the most, and the one you wished you could see more often.

     a little bit later, after you admired him enough, you kissed the tip of his nose. you smiled as you noticed any reactions. did he fall asleep? was he in this own universe, far from here and not paying attention to you anymore?

     “are you sleeping, Yun? ~”

you whispered to not disturb him if he was sleeping. you didn’t want to wake him up if he was having some rest — what he needed the most.

     when you had no answer, you slowly moved to stand up, trying your best not to wake him up, and you put the blankets over his body. you did the last few things you needed to do before going to bed, in the most silent way possible. you turned off the lights, closed the window and the curtains, closed the door, and put on comfortable clothes to sleep. you laid down next to him, under the blankets, facing him.

     “thank you Mingi.. i promise i’ll take care of him.. but please, keep an eye on him.”

you fixed few stands of his hair, and moved closer to him. you whispered again, to him this time.

“good night, Yun. i hope you're gonna sleep well.”

you came against his chest, and rested your head over his heart. you were listening to his heartbeats, your eyes closed.

“i won't ever leave you, Yun.. i love you.”

     you glanced over the window one last time, where Yunho was looking and where you were assuming he saw Mingi. you were again promising to Mingi you will take care of Yunho and be here for him through this step, and slowly fell asleep.

     your heart was following Yunho's heart's lead. they were beating in unison. and they were beating for each other.

[gilfoyles-tech]

Gunz

Some Dinfoyle 

I’m new pleASE request a oneshot, talk to me, tell me to follow ur SV blog pls I beg of you

On AO3. On FFn.

"Are you actually coding over there, or are you just spazzing out all over your keyboard?" Dinesh snapped, turning in his chair. "All I've heard for the past ten minutes is you button mashing."

Gilfoyle didn't even dignify that with the turn of his head. "I finished my section of the code."

Dinesh snorted, secretly pleased that his worried glance at his code went unseen by Gilfoyle. "There's no way you figured out how to unscramble the image from the code. You literally built the code into the image."

"Nope. Finished."

Dinesh squinted at the back of Gilfoyle's head. "Are you playing PC?"

The only sound was the frantic mashing of keys.

Dinesh frowned. "You are! Shouldn't you be, oh, I dunno', doing your job?"

"I'm playing a classic, and once again, I finished my section of the code."

Dinesh hesitated. He looked around. Richard had holed himself up somewhere in his room, and Jared was probably hovering nearby, offering tea and soothing Richard's ego. Erlich had fucked off to who knows where—or he was smoking in the charred remains of the palapa. It was late.

Dinesh looked at the distant few feet to Gilfoyle; it was late, no need to kill himself over code if Gilfoyle wasn't.

Dinesh scooted his chair over to Gilfoyle's desk.

"You're in my space," Gilfoyle said, but it was lower than it would have been if he was actually complaining, so Dinesh promptly ignored him.

"Jesus, what are the graphics on that?" Dinesh grinned. "2004 at the earliest."

"I neither volunteered this game for your scrutiny, nor care for your opinion. I don't expect you off all people to understand the tactical knowhow that Gunz requires."

Dinesh leaned forward, his smile only growing. "I'm sorry, did you say Gunz? Like, with a Z?" Dineh squinted. "Are you holding a sword?"

"It was made in Korea."

"I didn't know they called swords gunz in Korea."

Gilfoyle had been killed, and he leaned back like he wasn't going to respawn. Dinesh kept his face right where it was, trying to see past the pixels to understand how the game was actually played.

"I'm the admin," Gilfoyle offered, raising one shoulder in a shrug that seemed suspiciously nonchalant. "I had to find my backup after Anton's… After Anton."

Poor Anton.

"Did you make it?"

Gilfoyle's eyes were locked on the screen. "No, just saved it. It was a shitty game, with shitty forums, but when it was shut down, I made my own server for some of my buddies and I to play on. I was just booting the server back up when you so rudely interrupted."

Dinesh pointed—though he was resting his hand under his chin, so it wasn't a super aggressive point. "No, you were totally playing."

"To make sure everything in the backup made it over."

Dinesh sat up. "I want to play."

Here, finally, Gilfoyle's eyes flicked over to him. The corners of his mouth twitched up into a smile. "You're going to get destroyed."

Dinesh frowned. "Fuck you."

Once again, Gilfoyle's shoulder rose in a half shrug. "I'm just warning you. My server is k-style only, and even if you're playing with me, all these other guys have been playing for ten-plus years."

"It's a PC game, Gilfoyle."

"Look, this isn't some PS4 baby's-first-blunt piece of shit game; this is the hardcore heroin of PC games. Highly specialized, obsessive players literally broke the game and then made a whole competitive sport involving breaking the game."

Dinesh raised an eyebrow. "You sound a little defensive, Gilfoyle."

"This isn't Halo, Dinesh."

Dinesh's eyebrow arched higher, and he smiled. Gilfoyle threw his hands in the air and rolled over to Dinesh's computer. Dinesh scooted after him, watching Gilfoyle log into the server.

"Dude, I don't want to be a chick!"

Gilfoyle glanced over his shoulder, exiting the character creator. "Smaller hit box. Trust me, you're going to thank me."

"I'm not a chick!"

"I'm not saying you have tits, Dinesh, just that you're going to get shot enough without having a huge hitbox to contribute to the—no, your slaughter."

Gilfoyle kicked the neighboring computer's chair away and logged on to his own account. Dinesh frowned, carefully arranging his fingers over the WASD keys. A controller was so much easier.

"A controller is so much easier," Dinesh muttered.

"Take your baby-blunt complaints out into the living room, Dinesh. Alright, we're going to be playing two v. two, so I want you to try not to fuck up as long as possible. I put in standard controls for switching weapons—"

"So you're not entirely stuck in 2004?"

"—but your melee weapon is your most important." Gilfoyle reached over and showed Dinesh the keys, eyes glued to his own screen. "You can glitch out the animation and essentially bounce off the walls as long as you have your sword out."

"You mean my gunz." Dinesh smiled.

"I mean don't make me replace your teeth with your computer keys. Switch to your gun and then back to your sword so you can keep dodging as fast as possible."

"Sounds easy." Dinesh settled into his chair.

It wasn't easy.

The first three rounds, Dinesh couldn't get the glitch to work. He would just hop around, frantically waving his sword around, and then get shot in the head. The fifth round, he managed to bounce off the wall—

"Gilfoyle, I bounced!"

—only to get shot in the head a second later.

So most of Dinesh's time was spent watching Gilfoyle play because the stupid fucking game wouldn't let him respawn until the next round.

"This is fucking stupid." Dinesh threw his hands in the air and swiveled to watch Gilfoyle.

"Team deathmatch," Gilfoyle said, fingers flying across the keyboard. "It's a bitch."

"I bounced again," Dinesh said, resting his chin in the palm of his hand. "Though I have absolutely no fucking idea how you do it."

"I'm thirteen years in the making. I'm pure heroin, baby."

Gilfoyle picked off a player, switching back to his word and glitching away before the team mate could kill him—but only almost. He had almost died, just then. It was the first mistake Dinesh had noticed; Gilfoyle pretty much was pure PC heroin.

"This is how I got into coding," Gilfoyle said. Volunteered, even.

"Really?"

Gilfoyle nodded, eyes on the screen, fingers moving on their own accord. "I'd track down people's IP addresses and fuck with them. When this fuck sent a letter to my house after my clan beat his, I had to figure out how to protect my own shit."

Dinesh's gaze had moved to Gilfoyle's face. It was as impassive as ever, but Dinesh caught Gilfoyle's eyes dart to meet his, then back to the screen.

"And then I got into figuring out statistics for firing, got into how the glitch actually worked, how to perfect it, take advantage of it." Here, again, their eyes met, just for a second. "I won a Wii."

Dinesh made a face. "What?"

"We had competitions. There would be clans, and a point-system. We came in first one year and won a Wii, and my team decided I should get it." Gilfoyle dropped his hands into his lap. "My parents weren't very pleased."

Dinesh didn't move back to his keyboard, still hunched over, face close to Gilfoyle's arm. Gilfoyle looked at his hands.

"Who wouldn't be pleased with their kid winning a brand new Wii?"

"My parents. And it wasn't anywhere close to brand new." Gilfoyle shrugged. "Anyways, I'm tired of carrying your ass in this game." Gilfoyle stood and closed out the game.

Dinesh blinked and watched him, sitting up and crossing his arms. There was an awkward silence that Dinesh's dumb little brain needed to fill. "Yeah, well, it's late, and this game is a piece of shit, anyways."

Gilfoyle's who posture stiffened, shoulders hunched, fists clenched. "You asked to play," Gilfoyle shot back.

Dinesh's head jerked back. Jesus, what was with the attitude? "Oh, I forgot I held a gun to your head and forced you to make me a girl character."

Gilfoyle snapped around to face Dinesh. "Smaller hit box." Gilfoyle shut off his other computer. "I shouldn't have even shown you," he said, heading towards his bedroom.

Dinesh sank lower in his computer chair.

Sat there in the dark, arms crossed, stewing.

For a second, Gilfoyle had…

He couldn't even be nice for…

What a one-eighty in attitude…

He had probably meant for Dinesh to see his stupid game, and make him feel stupid for sucking at it. Or something.

Or something.

Gilfoyle was fucking weird, and that was that. Dinesh stood, switched his computer off, and walked to his bedroom. Fucking weird.