#PLEASE IM STILL GIGGLING that was a lot fkjfhgkjhkfg

[vonlipvig]

Survivor Winners at War Ep 9 Recap

In this episode, oh my gODDDDD AAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH SDHSKJHSJHSKFHSKL holy shit

...Anyway.

So the ep starts with the gang coming back to camp, and Nick and Michele are pissed cause they were not in on the last vote, and ok why is it so hilarious that it’s TONY the one that’s being super level headed and telling Nick “dude, calm down, nobody’s going after you just cause you voted for Wendell”? (No but for real, Tony’s being super smart and not that over the top sooooo...)

Then Michele and Adam have a conversation (where Michele is like “oh yeah I’m pissed”...to Adam? The person she was voting for? Lmao), and Adam tells her...his...brilliant idea.

It’s the beginning of something wonderful, oh baby.

But yeah, he thinks the little fleur de lis thingie on Jeff’s table looks like the idol Denise found, and thus, it’s probably a hidden idol...in Tribal. On the podium. And here’s where my friend and I look at each other and go hoooooly shit don’t tell me this is gonna happen cause WE CAN FEEL IT’S GONNA HAPPEN and dkjffdflk.

But we’ll go back to that.

On the Edge, the gang goes on another scavenger hunt for something to sell, and Danni and Parv end up finding a 50/50 immunity coin thing (And apparently they find it in the same place that Aubry found whatever the hell she found on s38, y’all think I remember? I’m a fan I just have shit memory, guys!). Parv decides to sell it to Michele for four tokens, which DKFHDKJ PARV YOU’RE SO RIPPING HER OFF I LOVE IT, and in the end she and Danni decide to share the news and food reward with everyone else BUT Yul and Wendell which lmao (I mean, makes sense since they were the last ones to arrive).

Back in the game proper, it’s Challenge Time! It’s the one with the fish puzzle pieces, blah blah blah, they divide into two teams, whatever. Sarah’s team wins, but then she decides to give her spot on the reward to Nick, because it was his birthday the day before (and well, he didn’t have a great time, if that TC was any indication lmao).

And ok, Sarah did it simply because she is Nice. I mean, it must be tough to keep the “strategic brain” turned on every time, cause sometimes the humanity of it all gets to you, but ONCE AGAIN TONY IS BEING A BIG VOICE OF REASON going “girlie, c’mon, that’s gonna be seen as a strategic move, they’re gonna want you out”. And he’s kind of right, cause everyone else is like uuuuuuhhh okay.

Then Michele finds the 50/50 coin that Parv is trying to sell to her, and lo and behold, she buys it!

Like, don’t get me wrong, she 100% got scammed cause that thing was NOT worth four fire tokens, but she’s in a pretty shitty position if they’re gonna keep going after low profile people (and considering she doesn’t have that many allies anymore, I’d say Jeremy but Jeremy’s the one that wants these kind of people out sooo). But yeah, making Parv rich, I’m not complaining!

For the Immunity Challenge, we have the “stand on that triangular platform on the water and stay there” challenge, which always seems like such fun and one that...I think I could do pretty well? I mean, I don’t have the worst balance?

Anyway, Kim wins (Yay, Kim!), but god was it fun to see Ben do some weird Surfing Karate to try to stay on it!

Yeehaw!

Then of course it’s time for Chaos. The lions want the vote to be between Nick and Adam. Nick wants Sophie out. Adam prefers to go for Sarah. The lions clearly don’t want it to be Sarah, so they’re ok with Adam. 

Gratuitous Sarah pic being a badass, because we all need Sarah being a badass in our lives.

Then Ben goes to confront Adam cause he had said that him and Sarah were super close and Adam is kind of trying to stumble his way out of that and it’s really awkward and also really funny? I just think they’re so over each other dfkjdfkh (AND IT AIN’T OVER YET!).

And now we go to Tribal. Hooooo boy.

So Jeff gets ignored almost right away, and LET THE CHAOS BEGIN!

You got everything, baby. You’ve got Adam and Ben going at each other about PRE-MERGE DRAMA!? WHAT ARE THEY TALKING ABOUT DKJFDFKJ. While that distraction is going on, everyone is whispering, everyone is up and talking, and I’m smiling from ear to ear, gotta love this show.

AND THEN. DKJFHDKJFHD. AND THEN EVERYONE SHUTS UP AND ADAM ASKS IF THEY’RE VOTING FOR HIM.

AND THEN IT’S COMPLETE SILENCE. THEY’RE HARDCORE IGNORING HIM I’M-..DFJKDHFKDH

So at this point I’m at near death from the second hand embarrassment, and I think it’s pretty clear to everyone--Adam included--that it’s probably him being voted out...

OH BABY TIME FOR PLAN B.

So it’s time to read the votes, I’m grabbing my friend’s hand really hard, we’re at the edge of our seats, is he gonna do it? is he really gonna do it?

AND THEN. AND THEN HE DOES. HE STANDS UP. HE WALKS TO JEFF’S TABLE...

IT’S STUCK. IT’S STUCK TO THE FUCKING TABLE. BECAUSE IT’S A PIECE OF THE FUCKING SET. AND HE’S TRYING AND IT KEEPS RATTLING AND I’M DYING HOLY SHIT OH MY GODDDD DKJFHEKJFHEKF.

But holy shit it doesn’t even end there because Jeff motherfucking Probst--who thrives on chaos, tears, and embarrassment--is all “...are you sure?”, AND THEN ADAM GOES “wait, can I play that? I wanna play that.” AND JEFF IS LIKE “you wanna play...this thing...the thing you can’t get from this table.” AND ADAM’S LIKE “yes.” AND I’M IN ANOTHER DIMENSION BY THIS POINT I’M LAUGHING AND CRYING THIS IS A LOT.

And no, it wasn’t and he was voted out.

BUT LET ME SAY THIS. Fucking kudos to him for going through with all of that. Like, at one point if you know you’re screwed anyway what does it even matter right? Just fucking try, the worst thing that can happen is that you look silly, but that’s COMEDY AND WE LOVE IT. So yeah, props to him cause GOD THAT WAS HILARIOUS.

(Also, apparently there was an idol hidden in TC in an international Survivor season, maybe South Africa, I don’t remember? I didn’t watch any but if he did then he probably convinced himself it wasn’t that crazy an idea. Plus, I guess if you’re desperate you can totally convince yourself that if the idol was a fleur de lis that could be an idol as well, but yeah...it was WAY too crazy, but goddamn if it wasn’t entertaining).

Thank you Adam, love you dude.