#Ozzy literally sacrificed his eye for him

[fictionobsession]

devotion

Pairing: Alastor x f!Reader

Summary: She would give anything for him.

Word Count: 1,997

Warnings: blood, canon typical violence, Alastor being psychotic

A/N: okay friends, first time writing for Al. this was not beta'd or really edited at all so if something seems weird just... assume I meant to fix it. also, this was written as a QPR, but there's a little feelings on reader's side if you squint. I'm not 100% on how in character this is for Alastor, but we tried and that's what matters right

---

She plopped onto the shitty couch and pulled her knees to her chest, looking around the shitty house where they'd been hiding out in the middle of this shitty swamp for the last two shitty weeks. The wallpaper was peeling and yellowed, the floors covered in mold and mildew, the running water only worked half the time, and, more importantly, the refrigerator was empty as of six nights prior. Her stomach rumbled just thinking about a nice juicy cut. She sighed, closing her eyes and allowing herself to sink into the daydream of food.

She knew when she'd gotten into this hobby with Alastor that there was a non-zero chance she would wind up on the run someday. She just wished they could have put it off a bit longer, had a bit more fun. She laid her head back against the rotting couch until she heard the creak of the floor near the front door.

Her eyes snapped open and her brows furrowed as she took in Alastor's hunting attire.

“Al, where do you think you're going?”

“Well, my dear, unless you feel like us both starving to death in this dismal abode, I thought I'd better go get some food.”

“Alastor. You know we've heard the dogs nearby. You can't possibly go out there without getting caught, at least until we've had a couple days where we haven't heard 'em.”

“Again, starving is not on my agenda, so we don't particularly have another choice.”

Another choice. Her face hardens as she realizes what another option might be. She stood up and crossed the room, grabbing Alastor's arm before he could open the door. “There is a way for us to make it out of this without you leaving. Or rather, a way for one of us to make it out of this.”

He hummed, and she could see the wheels turning as he put together what she was implying. “I'm not sacrificing myself for you to get away, you know.”

“I know. That's why I'm just asking you to get it over with quickly. You'll get more time, and I – well, I'll at least get to go out on my own terms. If I have to go, at least it'll be for you.”

His eyes widened just a bit, more reaction than she'd usually get, before he shrugged. “Okay. Painless it is. Not usually my style, but I think I can figure it out.”

She laughed, a genuine, full laugh. “I know, Al, and that's why we've worked out so well. But I think you could at least do that much for me.”

He pulled his hunting knife from where he had already slid it into his belt. “Are you ready?”

And with one nod, everything went black.

-

It seemed instantaneous, appearing in hell. She looked around, taking in the chaos around her. Literal dumpster fires, public sex, casual street murders, Hell had it all. Of course, arriving in Hell wasn't a surprise for her. You don't kill that many people and expect to get into Heaven. She wasn't even sure she had believed in the whole afterlife thing until she was experiencing it. She shrugged it off, finding the closest place with a mirror she could use for free.

Her body was... different, certainly. But intact, and honestly, she was quite happy with it. Given the various types of demons she'd seen just in her brief time there, it could've been a lot worse. She wandered, putting together a plan of action for getting herself set up in Hell. It seemed she would need income to make most things happen, which made finding a job a top priority. She also needed a place to sleep, as it seemed unsafe at best to stay on the streets.

She got a job fairly quickly at Ozzie's, though she wasn't thrilled with the outfit they made her wear for the whole thing. But it was money, and easy work, so she stuck with it. Asmodeus offered her a fairly decent rate on rent nearby, as well, so she could have done worse.

Shortly after getting settled, she started feeling pressure on her body in random locations and at seemingly random times, almost like someone was grabbing or poking her to get her attention. Occasionally she'd get hot spots, which she at first attributed to it being hot in Hell. Little scrapes and cuts would appear sometimes as well, but they always healed up quickly. It wasn't until the final time it happened that she realized what had been happening over the past few weeks.

A perfect bite imprint appeared on her forearm, accompanied by a sharp pain, and she realized it must have been an effect of Alastor in the living world. She traced her finger over the mark, which had healed into almost a scar, but not quite. It was a bit pink, but wasn't angry and fresh. She smiled a little to herself, happy that her sacrifice hadn't been in vain.

As time went on, she found herself tracing the mark when she was feeling stressed, upset, or particularly lonely. It never healed all the way, making it always a bit sensitive to touch, and served as a reminder of why she was here. The mark always made her feel closer to Al, which brought a little comfort when things got crazy.

She had managed to stay within the same few blocks that she knew were heavily policed by Asmodeus's people. However, six months into her stay in Hell, she finally had to leave her little neighborhood to buy some things for the bar. She packed her gun, a knife, and made sure she was dressed inconspicuously – the rumors about the surrounding areas were very...detailed...about what might happen to someone who ended up on the wrong side of a fight.

Unfortunately, her preparation didn't keep her from getting spotted by some Sharks outside the store as she started back toward her apartment. She tried to hurry, sliding between demons and other sinners, before slipping down an alley to attempt to lose her tail. It was too late by the time she realized it was a dead end, and the Sharks started cutting off her only entrance.

She took one step, two, keeping them in her sight until her back hit the brick wall behind her. Her hand reached for her gun, ready to pull it when the lead Shark got close enough. Their glares were paralyzing, and she could smell the smoke and alcohol on them at that distance. She felt herself start to shake, taking a deep breath to steady herself before -

“You wouldn't want people to think you're picking on those of fairer means would you?” The sound and feeling of static crackled through the air like lightning as a dark shape enveloped the opening to the alleyway. A long, thin shadow ripped through the air, straight through the lead Shark, throwing him against the side of the neighboring building.

Green sparks shone through the seemingly infinite blackness, a pair of what could only be described as antlers growing from the approaching shape. Two more tendrils, picking up the remaining Sharks and tossing them into the air like dolls. She wanted to close her eyes, but couldn't look away from the gore. Sure, she had seen a lot of violence in her time in Hell, but she hadn't seen that level of overkill in quite some time.

As the last of the Sharks fled only to get a tendril through the skull, she pressed herself as far into the corner as possible, sliding down the wall and pulling her knees to her chest. There was only the hope that the demon forgot she existed, and the knowledge that if he hadn't, she would likely be next up for second death.

The shadow approached, darkness fading as he got closer until finally it revealed a man. A tall man, with horns, but just a man, nonetheless. He was straightening out his red coat, and twirling something around in his hands as he approached. “Always good to have an excuse to let off a little steam. Always good.”

He put a hand out to help her up. As she lifted herself off the ground, he was already vaguely shaking her hand, introducing himself. “Name's Alastor, pleasure to meet you. Quite a pleasure.”

His name hit her ears about the time he caught a glimpse of her bite, and both stopped dead in the middle of introductions. She looked up, eyes widening as she realized that yes, that was a microphone, and yes, in fact, it had been quite a while since she'd seen that level of overkill, one could even say since her living days. He looked different now, sure, but as soon as she looked into his eyes, she knew that was her Al.

“Well maybe don't wait so long to come save my ass next time, eh, Al?” She smirked up at him, waiting for him to process what was happening. His nails traced the pattern of his own bite on her arm. She caught sight of his tongue tracing across his teeth, as if he was just then realizing how different they'd really become. “I bet your imprint looks a bit different now, doesn't it?” She spoke more to herself than to him as she reached to pull her sleeve down over the mark.

“Why, I should hope so, my dear. I should very much hope so. Let's see just how much it's changed then!” Without any more warning than that, he pulled her arm to his mouth and bit, hard. The new mark bled, sure, but it healed up more quickly than it probably should have, covering his old impression with his new one. His ears twitched subconsciously, his ever-present smile nearly faltering as he watched the blood drip, drip, drip down her arm. He shook himself out of whatever thoughts were distracting him rather quickly before acting like no time had passed at all since they'd been together last. “Now, I don't think I should leave you alone again. It seems to me that you still can't stay out of trouble, my dear! Come along, let me show you where I've been staying!”

“But – Hang on! Al! I've got to go to work!”

“Ah, there'll be no more need of that anymore. We'll send a notice to... whoever you're working for when you get settled.” He raised an eyebrow, practically daring her to argue. She knew, though, that she'd never gone against what he'd wanted before, and she didn't particularly want to start now. She took the elbow he'd offered her and allowed him to lead her out of the alley.

Occasionally, as they walked, she would catch sight of a shadow that seemed to be following them.

“Oh, don't mind them. They're just keeping an eye on your wellbeing. You better get used to it! Having a friend like me, why, other overlords will just be dying to get their hands on you!”

She scoffed, a look of adoration crossing her features before she tactfully replaced it with annoyance. “I'm not going to get any rest now, am I?”

“Oh contraire, ma cherie! You're going to get everything you've ever wanted and deserved. I owe you that after what you did for me up there, wouldn't you say?”

“Oh I just can't wait to show you Cannibaltown! You've got to meet Rosie, yes. You'll get along very well, very well indeed. And she makes the most delectable little treats! Maybe we'll go by tomorrow.”

As he continued rambling, she hummed approval when appropriate, watching him out of the corner of her eye with a mix of caution and longing. As he led her down streets she'd never seen before, she realized maybe this was all her afterlife had needed after all.

[itsroguelife]

I don't think I'll ever get over the reason Penguin having a glass eye and monocle (although the monocle could have been a fashion choice) was because he jumped infront of Ed when a grenade was thrown infront of them and lost his eye for it

That is

That is true love

[littlehollyleaf]

Oh re: Eddie sacrificing for Ozzie - he did literally throw himself in front of an attacking Butch that time to protect Oz :)

Ooooh, and to add to your note about him trying hard to be (/present himself as?) a Good Guy in those other instances, he was kinda doing the same with Ozzie. Because he was trying to present Ozzie as a Hero to the city at the time, so by protecting him from Butch he was playing up to that narrative he'd crafted - furthering the idea of Ozzie as a great Mayor whose Chief of Staff is willing to risk himself to protect. So the action was maybe a bit about simultaneously presenting himself and Ozzie as Good Guys.

But he wasn't actually trying to BE 'good' at the time, because overall he was actively embracing being a behind the scenes criminal with Ozzie. So there wouldn't have been any internal manipulation/confusion there I think ie. him convincing himself he was a Good Guy protecting a Good Mayor. Because he knew that was an act, he says as much to Ozzie on the sofa later, how the whole thing was about making sure the city saw Ozzie (and by extension Ed) as a Hero.

But the act did also cement him as loyal and trustworthy to Ozzie and fully earned him Ozzie's affection (more than Eddie realised in fact!), so there was also that persona he was playing up to - crafting himself as a true and devoted friend in Ozzie's eyes.

But at what point does the person you are presenting yourself as start to blur with who you really are? Esp. when you are risking your life to maintain said persona?

Because there's a fine line here between Eddie risking his life for his plot/manipulation and just flat out, in the heat of the moment, risking his life FOR OZZIE (like he did for Kristen) and honestly BEING a loyal and devoted friend caring about Ozzie's safety.

Heh, so true about Eddie always changing himself as he tries to figure out who he is. His behaviour is... like a chicken and egg situation sometimes I think! Is he acting a certain way because he's become a certain type of person, or does he decide he wants to / should be a certain type of person and so acts a certain way. If that makes sense?

Like, what came first - his desire to help/protect Ozzie, which led him to becoming his friend? or his desire to be Ozzie's friend, which led him to help/protect him? And does it make a difference? Maybe he developed feelings for Ozzie that he would have done either way...

Likewise with Lee - did he develop feelings for her that he later realised were love? Or did he think he should love her and so interpreted what he felt for her as such? And in the end does THAT matter? Maybe even in that latter situation his feelings developed into love anyway...

As I understand him, he wouldn't even know himself! He's such a mixed up blend of repressed desires and performance, always reinventing himself because he just can't figure himself out (or is too afraid too face up to himself).

He is, well, an enigma :p Even to himself.

(I'm sorry, I've descended into faux-poetic babble, I'll stop now!! I just... I like the character, what can I say?!)

ed in s3: *tortures and attempts to murder oswald for killing his gf isabella because ~love is about sacrifice, you should have been happy for me oswald~*

ed in s4: *tortures and attempts to murder jim, the guy lee isn’t even with, because suddenly love isn’t about sacrifice anymore, and jim respecting lee’s relationship with ed is a crime i guess*

me: k

You guys do realize he’s criminally insane right? I always take it as everything he says is just a way to justify his current actions. Love was never about sacrifice with Ed. When did he ever sacrifice anything for Love? Like really try to come up with something he did that wasn’t him manipulating someone else. I think he just said that to hurt and further manipulate Oswald. Guy likes manipulating things, words, turn of phrase, people. So, yeah everytime I see Ed I’m like okay what’s on the crazy train this week? Start of season 5 they could be like Ed’s with Zsasz and Headhunter now and I’d be like. Eh, sure, there was that old polish woman thing so this probaly makes some sense somewhere in Ed’s crazy brain.

[itsybitsylemonsqueezy]

An Unpopular Opinion About Oswald Cobblepot

This opinion is not for everyone. I won’t hate you if you don’t read it.

But if you were offended, hurt, or confused by Robin Lord Taylor’s interview where he stated that Oswald couldn’t love? I think this may be worth reading.

First of all, I want to apologize to Robin. Because, at the time, I didn’t know what he meant and leapt to conclusions about why he would say such a thing. I am now reasonably certain Robin was talking about this episode, 3x14 “The Gentle Art of Making Enemies.” The episode we learn that Oswald can’t love. “But he sacrificed himself for Ed!!!” I know, I know... and yes, that is the first step as Oswald begins to understand what love truly is, and not just in Ed’s eyes, but the actual emotional and mental requirements of love. But he doesn’t love Ed. Yet. Robin’s statement, too, should have been amended to say yet, if it helps.

Now please, hear me out, and understand this doesn’t come from a place of hate or retribution. I am not trying to bully Oswald nor anyone who loves or identifies with him. One could call me biased in Ed’s favor, and you’d be right. I will own that, and if you want to discredit what I’m saying based on that, go ahead, but please read to the end first.

I am a devout Nygmobblepot shipper as well as you and I want nothing more than to see this relationship do well and I think it can! I have TREMENDOUS hope for it and I truly believe the show is heading us in that direction, even now. Yes, even now, and I think the events as I describe them here only reinforce that. And the last thing I want to do is label the ship ‘problematic,’ I want it to be healthy. And that’s... why I’m making this post. Because currently their relationship isn’t healthy, yes, even considering Oswald’s sacrifice. But it can be, it REALLY can, and I so want it to be.

So... misgivings and disclaimers out of the way, I’ve given you all the warning I can that this is going to hurt. I'm just going to proceed now.

There’s been some posts going around tumblr that were bothering me. They were gifsets comparing Fish Mooney’s creation speech to Oswald in 3x02 to Oswald’s creation speech to Ed in 3x14. And they bothered me because, while the text might be similar, the intent could not be more diametrically opposed. And, I could be wrong, people might have been spreading them around to see the contrast, but I saw a lot of people treating the speeches as if they were similar, if not identical. I beg your patience to let me disagree with that claim and dissect them for a minute.

Superficially, one can argue that they both use the “I created you” emotional manipulation ploy to save their own skins. As they are both being held at gunpoint at the time. But I don’t think this is true in either case. Fish tells Oswald the truth because she has no reason not to and she is already out of time. Even if Oswald doesn’t shoot her, there’s no guarantee on her lifespan, so what does she have to gain by lying to him? Besides which, if she does die... he is what she leaves behind. And she is, actually, proud of that. In this moment, she accepts him, as her son and heir, and gives him the right to kill her, if he so chooses. She says,

Because you’re mine. You were my umbrella boy, remember? You rubbed my feet when they were tired. And now look at you: the terror of Gotham. Everything I’ve done in my life, possibly the best thing, was turning Oswald Cobblepot into the Penguin. I couldn’t destroy that.

And it’s worth noting that she only says this in response to a direct question, when Oswald demands an explanation for why he’s not dead right now.  She says all of this to wind up at ‘I couldn’t destroy that.’ Now that’s... not why Oswald says what he says.

When I met you, you were a nervous, jittery loser. You were nothing! I created Edward Nygma! And I am the only one in the world who truly sees you as you are, who you can still become. You can’t do this.

Seeing them back to back, free of the heartbreaking images, kinda makes the difference more stark doesn’t it?

First of all, Ed didn’t ask anything, he stated “You killed her, so you die” and this is how Oswald responds. He responds with tearing Ed down, by making him feel small and powerless. By insisting he needs him, that Ed needs Oswald to be powerful, even just to be himself. And it’s significant that Oswald offers this as a defense of why he should live, why Ed shouldn’t kill him.

And true, Fish brings up where Oswald started, her umbrella boy, but NOT to tear him down! She does it to say ‘look how far you’ve come.’ She moves past it to show his progress. Because it’s his PROGRESS she’s proud of, it’s the man he is now that Fish accepts and... in a sense, would die for. Oswald doesn’t do that. He doesn’t get beyond reminding Ed what he was and, pointedly, reminding him who’s responsible for making him more than that. In a way, he’s saying Ed owes him. But he’s definitely saying Ed’s nothing without him.

And that’s not what Fish said. Fish has been gone, out of Oswald’s life for a year, she’s had no hold on him, and she’s remarking on what he’s done in the meantime. When she says ‘I created you’ she means she enabled his becoming, gave him the tools, taught him the steps, then stood back and watched him flourish. True, she was... dead most of that time, but besides the point. She is not making him feel like he owes her, she’s just taking credit, not even credit, pride for her part in him, not the whole, and not his achievements, which are his and his solely. Again, this is not what Oswald does. Oswald brings Ed back to the beginning purely to make him feel like he needs Oswald, purely to manipulate Ed into not shooting him. Oswald isn’t proud of him, at least he doesn’t say so here. Oswald doesn’t laud Ed’s achievements, he doesn’t even mention them. He only says that if Ed wants to continue being whatever he is now, he needs Oswald with him. That’s... that’s not pride. It’s not even healthy as he’s literally saying Ed cannot function independently. Which is patently untrue, as Ed’s run him in circles for the past week.

Just look at where they end. In the end, Fish justifies her OWN inaction and gives Oswald permission to take whatever action he feels is necessary. Oswald, on the other hand, FORBIDS Ed’s action, won’t let Ed decide what’s best for himself, tries to trap him in this manufactured need. Oswald does not accept and has not accepted Ed’s decisions for some time. And that, at the heart of it all, is what Ed is most mad about. Oswald didn’t accept his choice of girlfriend. Oswald didn’t accept how he dealt with his grief. Oswald didn’t accept his resignation. Oswald didn’t accept him WALKING OUT on him. Let’s be real, all Oswald does after that is complain how Ed’s not here, calls him obsessively, and whines about getting him back. Oswald hasn’t accepted a single goddamn decision of Ed’s that he didn’t like, which was... all of them. And sure, any single one of these moments is perhaps trivial, but look at what’s underlying it: Oswald will not accept Ed’s autonomy. And he’s not doing it again here.

Now, HERE it makes sense because, you know, Ed’s gonna kill him. Literally has a gun pointed at his chest and has said many times that... he’s going to kill Oswald. Except... Oswald hasn’t acted in self-preservation for the entire episode. Most notably in JUST the previous scene Oswald completely turns coat on self-preservation and would rather give up his own life than give up Ed. Which complicates things a bit. And that’s what puzzled me about Oswald’s speech on the docks, because normally I’d chalk it up to self-preservation. Only, when Oswald really IS out to save his own skin, he’s a LOT better at it. And it was just proven to us that Oswald in fact isn’t here to save himself. Because he loves Ed. At least, he’d die for him. So, what’s this about? Why would Oswald cut him down like this if he loves him? And he’s not actively trying to survive?

Well, my dear @amaranthineexcuse​ had the answer and so tenderly and eloquently puts it, much better than I ever could have:

Oswald wants to cripple Ed so that he'll stay with him. Oswald is fucking terrified that Ed will leave him. [...] Oswald just proved that he'd destroy either of them to keep Ed. Which Ed rebuffs, thankfully. Oswald 100% doesn't hurt Ed to hurt him; he's not trying to be mean; he cares about Ed and wants him to be safe. He's just overwhelmed and afraid and he ultimately does not think he's worthy of a relationship with a whole Ed. He lashes out. Oswald's a guy with a lot of trauma; people with trauma sometimes do weird shit in personal relationships. Self-sabotage (and the sabotage of people who love and support you) is not outside of the realm of possibility. He's not trying to be an ass, but he is being hurtful.

He's scared, but he's NOT scared of losing his life, he's scared of losing ED.

That... was a revelation to me. Suddenly everything made sense:

THAT MAKES SO MUCH SENSE! THAT EXPLAINS WHY HE'S EMOTIONALLY ABUSIVE AT THE DOCKS! Yes, GOD, that's EXACTLY what he does, the whole time, he wants to be NEEDED, he wants to bind Ed to him through FEAR which is NOT healthy! He FORCES Ed to pull the trigger in doing so. And this DOES mean that Oswald is not stable enough IN HIMSELF, he is not secure enough IN HIMSELF to handle a relationship right now!

My literal, verbatim reaction there ^^;

It explains... so much, it did for me anyway. Why Oswald hasn’t accepted any of Ed’s emotions, even though he’s explicitly declaring them. Why Oswald has been acting scared and desperate, but never moved to save his own life. It wasn’t his life at all he was worried about, it didn’t even occur to him. The thing that scared him... was losing Ed.

And the hilarious, ironic thing is we were told this. When Babs walks in to explain to Ed why his life is terrible, she literally says, “But Ozzie saw you being taken away from him by that bookish vixen.” That fear and jealousy doesn’t stop being real after Isabella’s dead. It extends forward, until now. Oswald continues to operate off the fear that Ed will leave him, that’s why he rejects all of Ed’s decisions that in any way don’t match his own, especially the moves for independence. That’s why Oswald tries to trap him again here. And yes it is motivated by a deep and profound desire to have Ed in his life, which can BECOME love... but isn’t love. Because it denies autonomy. Because it does not accept the choices of your partner. And love does not exist without acceptance. Love is sacrifice. Love is also risk. Oswald has to learn that first, how to accept risk. How to trust and respect Ed.

So... again, I want to apologize, deeply, to Robin who said this from the beginning because he knew. He saw that Oswald didn’t respect Ed, hasn’t learned how to yet. Oswald experiences affection, certainly, he is generous and kind and sweet, but he fails at the fundamentals of any relationship, platonic, romantic, any. Trust and Respect. You can’t have anything else before you have that, much less something as complex, tenuous, and difficult as love. But Oswald is also learning. He’s made the first step, he’s realized not everything can be the way he wants it. Sometimes he has to sacrifice. But now he has to work on seeing Ed as an equal and accepting that love is not about needing each other, but choosing each other. Accepting that Ed is a fully formed and functional human being who is capable of making his own decisions. And there is SO MUCH risk embedded in that. And Oswald’s fear and self-loathing prevents him for accepting it.

And, for the record, you have to accept that before you can accept someone loving you too. Ironically, neither he nor Ed can accept being loved by someone else ^^; They just responded to it in DRASTICALLY different ways. But, even if Ed could and did right now, Oswald would never really internalize it and it would rift the relationship even worse than it is currently frayed.

It may not look great that Ed’s shot Oswald, but Ed has leveled the playing field, or wiped the board. Because he put his foot down, he proved that his decisions have consequences and Oswald can’t just ignore them anymore. He has created the opportunity for them to imagine each other as equals, because Ed is guilty to of imagining not only himself as lesser, but Oswald as greater. They both need to accept Ed’s autonomy and everything that that means. If they can do that, I have every hope and desire that they should be together and work seamlessly to terrorize Gotham.

P. S. Consider this scene:

“I gave you a job!” “I gave you everything!”

ANOTHER person Oswald depended on. ANOTHER person Oswald took, and took, and took from. ANOTHER person Oswald REFUSES to give credit to.

And Ed DID, in PAINFUL, LITERAL ways, give him... everything. That's kinda horrific foreshadowing for what will happen to Ed, since he's taking Butch's place. I thought of that earlier and I... I need to lay down now. Oh. Oh that hurt.