#Orlando gay bar shooting

[justinspoliticalcorner]

Mira Lazine at LGBTQ Nation:

The Christian group Liberty Counsel, an SPLC-designated hate group, is using the 2016 shooting at Pulse Nightclub in Orlando, Florida, to promote conversion therapy, calling the shooting the “Great Redemption.” The 2016 shooting in the LGBTQ+ nightclub left 49 people dead. In a blog post published earlier this week, the organization describes the experiences of Pulse survivor Angel Colon, where they claim “our beautiful Savior both rescued and redeemed Angel that night.” “Angel has a ministry helping lead people out of the LGBTQ lifestyle. But that ministry is now at risk, thanks to city and state bans on Christian change counseling, as well as federal legislation that seeks to ban this lifesaving practice and ministries like Angel’s permanently” This refers to the group Fearless Identity, founded alongside fellow survivor Luis Javier Ruiz. It seeks to promote LGBTQ+ individuals embracing conversion therapy and leaving the community behind.

Liberty Counsel does not mention how Colon admitted already being conflicted about his identity before the shooting. The post describes the shooting from Colon’s perspective in great detail, saying shooter Omar Mateen “proceeded [to hunt] down bar patrons like ducks in a pen.” It then quotes an interview with Colon where he says, “I was petrified knowing I was next. I heard the shooter behind me, gauging his next move. That’s when I asked the Lord for forgiveness, to forgive me for failing Him, for turning my back on Him. I wanted to be at peace with God, but at that moment, my prayer changed to prophecy.” He continued, “I promised Him I would worship Him for the rest of my days. The very moment I said, ‘amen,’ I felt the bullet. Heat swelled through my abdomen, and I was certain I was dead. But when I opened my eyes, I knew the Lord spared me.”

[...] While the city was still mourning the victims of the attack, Colon and Ruiz set up a “Freedom March” five minutes away from the nightclub to encourage people to “overcome” being gay and trans. They wanted to “bring hope of deliverance to the LGBTQ community and point them toward Christ,” as Colon said to PinkNews. Ruiz and Colon claim that neither of them support conversion therapy and that they’re simply supporting people in their individual decisions to seek change. “We are not at all advocates for conversion therapy or shock therapy,” Ruiz said to NBC News. “We stand with the gay community, and our main message is about falling in love with Jesus, but if an LGBTQ person wanted to talk to a pastor or counselor, that’s a whole different story.”

Anti-LGBTQ+ extremist hate group Liberty Counsel has called the 2016 Pulse Nightclub shooting the “Great Redemption” in a blog post detailing Pulse survivor Angel Colon’s turn towards ex-gay advocacy by founding pro-conversion therapy group Fearless Identity with fellow ex-gay Pulse survivor Luis Javier Ruiz.

The post decried the Equality Act and bans on the medically unsound practice of “ex-gay” conversion therapy, and used the homophobic dogwhistle term “homosexual lifestyle” to describe Colon and Ruiz’s experiences.

See Also:

The Advocate: Two Pulse survivors are now 'ex-gays' running a conversion therapy organization

PinkNews: Christian group uses Pulse shooting anniversary to promote conversion therapy

[remembertheplunge]

My Journal entries from June 12, 2016, the day of the Pulse Nightclub shooting slaughter in Orlando, Florida.

I had driven to San Fransisco and the Castro District when I learned that morning of the shooting deaths. On arival, I went to the Midnight Sun Video Bar on 18th Street. The bar tender had not heard about the Pulse Nightclub shootings yet.

Per my journal entries, two NBC TV trucks were posted at 18th and Castro. President Obama (who I called O blah blah) ordered all flags be put at half mast in honor of those killed at Pulse and a moment of silence at 3pm EST.

My friend warned me about going to the Castro that day because there was a man with a gun at LA Pride.

And the Texas Lt Governor re Pulse Shootings said “per the Bible “you reap what you sew” . Meaning, if you are gay, you deserve to die that way.

Per my 7/4/16 margin note, I put an = sign sticker on my car bumper in honor of Pulse shooting victims. (Gay friendly sticker: the equal sign)

On July 4, 2016, per my margin note, Faces bar had a Pulse Memorial on the corner in front of the bar. I placed orange roses there.

[a-queer-seminarian]

"Pulse Christ" by James Day

Today, June 12 2023, marks seven years since the shooting at the Pulse gay bar on Latin Night in Orlando, Florida. The deadliest single act of violence against LGBTQ people in US history, this shooting took 49 beautiful, vibrant lives, and left countless more wounded and traumatized.

In the above painting, James Day depicts Jesus Christ as one of the victims of the Pulse shooting.

Image description: Jesus with light brown skin and dark hair and a close-shaved beard lies with his eyes closed on a dark background, a gold and white halo around his head. A purple cloth drapes his body, stained with blood from a bullet hole near his left shoulder. / end ID.

____

Day wrote a poem to go with his painting based on Romans 8 and Psalm 139, which reads as follows:

Who is it that condemns us, and who would see our destruction? Shall narrow -minded preachers, or self-righteous religious zealots, Or conservative lawmakers, or unjust judges, or brutal police officers Convince us that we are unworthy?

What charges do they lay on us, and wherein do they find us guilty? Is it the color of our skin, or our economic status? Is it the religion we practice, or the religion we don’t practice? Is it that our bodies don’t conform to their ideals, Or that our love makes them uncomfortable, Or that we don’t blithely submit to their authority? Are these the crimes for which they persecute us daily and assign us to Hell? Can these separate us from the love of God or make us unworthy of love?

We are persuaded that neither rejection by our families, nor two-faced friends, Nor thoughtless neighbors, nor hate-filled co-workers, Nor being single, nor being divorced, nor being lonely Can define us as unlovable.

We are persuaded that neither unjust laws, nor biased public policy, Nor hateful tirades from pulpits, nor bullies with bullhorns, Nor ignorance, nor silence, nor invisibility Can separate us from our connection to the divine.

For we are fearfully and wonderfully made, Whether by the hand of God, or countless generations of ancestors. We are fully human and imbued with the divine spark of life, Curiously wrought in the depths, and encompassed even in our incompleteness. We are the image of God, and in us the love of God can be seen clearly.

And even though they lock us away, or commit us to institutions, Or drive us from our homes, or fire us from our jobs, Or shower us with bullets at night clubs, Or allow us to die from deadly diseases, Or find any number of ways to grind us into the dust, We will find color and light in the darkness, We will sing together, We will march together, We will protest, and preach, and live lives filled with joy and love, And, even in the face of fear and despite the hypocritical calls for false humility, We will be proud of who we are.

Find more artistic, spiritual responses to the Pulse shooting here.

[alien-insomniac-05]

mild rant warning

Came on here to give my condolences to the 5 people killed in the Colorado Nightclub and all there families.

the fact that six years after the Orlando shooting we still have to deal with hate crimes like this is absolutely disgusting. “Shoving lifestyles down peoples throats” my ass. 5 people died because god forbid people bring their kids to a drag bar but not a church, with has a higher rate of crimes happening at them than any gay bar I have seen.

either way, just what happened was inexcusable and I hope everyone who was injured there heals.

[90363462]

Biden joins Polis, other political leaders in condemning Colorado Springs Club Q shooting

Jace Khosla places flowers outside police tape surrounding Club Q, a gay bar in Colorado Springs, Colo., where a mass shooting took place late on Saturday, Nov. 19. Khosla is from Pueblo and said many of his friends frequent the bar and he’s still waiting to hear if anyone he knows was a victim. “I’m waiting for my phone to go off,” he said. According to police five people are dead and 18 are injured. (The Gazette, Parker Seibold)Parker Seibold

President Joe Biden on Sunday joined Colorado's political leaders in condemning the mass shooting that killed five people and wounded 25 at a gay and lesbian nightclub in Colorado Springs.

Biden viewed the shooting — the latest in a string of mass killings in Colorado that stretched as far back as the 1990s, notably in the Columbine High School attack that killed 15 — as a hate crime targeting members of the LGBTQI+ community.  

"Gun violence continues to have a devastating and particular impact on LGBTQI+ communities across our nation and threats of violence are increasing. We saw it six years ago in Orlando, when our nation suffered the deadliest attack affecting the LGBTQI+ community in American history," the president said in a statement. "We continue to see it in the epidemic of violence and murder against transgender women – especially transgender women of color. And tragically, we saw it last night in this devastating attack by a gunman wielding a long rifle at an LGBTQI+ nightclub in Colorado Springs."

Gov. Jared Polis, who is gay, called the shooting "horrific, sickening, and devastating."

"My heart breaks for the family and friends of those lost, injured, and traumatized in this horrific shooting," he said. "We are eternally grateful for the brave individuals who blocked the gunman, likely saving lives in the process and for the first responders who responded swiftly to this horrific shooting. Colorado stands with our (LGBTQ) community and everyone impacted by this tragedy as we mourn together.”

Polis said he has spoken with Colorado Springs Mayor John Suthers and told him the state is making all its resources available to the city's local law enforcement.

[killerchickadee]

My mom is cursed I think. She was working at a hospital in Orlando when the Pulse shooting happened. The victims were taken to another hospital (the one I was born in actually) but where she worked was basically across the street.

Now she's working at a hospital in Colorado Springs and there was a shooting at a gay bar there last night. Idk if it was near her cause we haven't spoken in weeks, but I'm like... wow she's bad luck.

[dankusner]

COLORADO LGBTQ club shooter pleads guilty to federal hate crimes

Lawyers say admission is meaningful for those affected by fatal attack

DENVER — The shooter who killed five people and injured 19 others at an LGBTQ club that was a refuge in the conservative city of Colorado Springs pleaded guilty to federal hate crimes and was sentenced to 55 life terms in prison Tuesday, but once again declined to apologize or say anything to the victims’ families.

Prosecutors nevertheless highlighted the importance of Anderson Lee Aldrich being forced to take responsibility for the hatred toward LGBTQ people that they say motivated the mass shooting. As part of a plea agreement, Aldrich repeatedly admitted Tuesday to evidence of hate.

“The admission that these were hate crimes is important to the government, and it’s important to the community of Club Q,” said prosecutor Alison Connaughty.

Aldrich attacked a place that was much more than a bar, said Connaughty, who described Club Q as a safe space for people in the LGBTQ community.

Aldrich, 24, is already serving life in prison after pleading guilty to state charges last year.

Federal prosecutors focused on proving the Nov. 19, 2022 attack at the haven for LGBTQ people was premeditated and fueled by bias.

U.S. District Judge Charlotte Sweeney, the first openly gay federal judge in Colorado, heard heart-wrenching testimony from victims before accepting the agreement, which also includes a total of 190 years on gun charges and other counts.

Several survivors had called for Aldrich’s execution.

The father of one victim said Aldrich “should be shot like a dog.”

The survivors delivered harrowing accounts of the shooting and the fear and anguish they’ve lived with since then.

Adriana Vance, whose son Raymond Green Vance was killed, said she wakes up screaming.

“All I have left of his now is the urn that I speak to every night,” she said.

Aldrich “knows nothing but hate,” she said.

Aldrich, appearing in an orange prison uniform with head shaved and wrists handcuffed, faced victims as they spoke but declined to make his own statement when given the chance.

Defense attorney David Kraut said there was no singular explanation for what motivated the mass shooting, but mentioned childhood trauma, an abusive mother, online extremism, drug use and access to guns as factors that increased the risk his client would engage in extreme violence.

Connaughty said evidence of Aldrich’s hate for the LGBTQ community included two websites he created to post hate-related content, a target found inside his house with a rainbow ring that had bullets in it, and the defendant’s sharing of recordings of 911 calls from the 2016 killing of 49 people at the gay-friendly Pulse nightclub in Orlando, Fla.

[onlylovefordandelions]

Its pride month. Here's one of my favorite Andrea Gibson poems. Its about the Pulse Nightclub shooting.

When the first responders entered the Pulse Nightclub

After the massacre in Orlando

They walked through the horrific scene of bodies and called out

"If you are alive, raise your hand."

I was sleeping in a hotel in the Midwest at the time

But I imagine in that exact moment, my hand twitched in my sleep

Some unconscious part of me aware that I had a pulse, that I was alive

The next day, I woke to the news that an assault rifle had fired

202 bullets through a gay bar, on Latin Night

In one of the worst massacres in US history

A massacre of people

Who did not leave the dance floor when they heard gunshots

Because they thought they were just the beats of a song

Everyone around me spent that day grieving and

Every tear was someone′s dance sweat, drying in the morgue

Later that night, I was on stage

Performing for an audience that had spent two hours in line

Waiting to get through the metal detectors

I couldn't keep my hand from covering my heart

I kept scouring the club for the fastest route to every exit

I knew the person working security was in a text war

And wasn′t keeping his eyes on the door

I knew there was a man in the fifth row

Picking at the seams of his duffel bag

Every few seconds, I'd eye the balcony

For the glint of whatever might aim

To tear the bodies off of the spirits of the boys holding hands

Or the girls with their hair cut short as my temper

When rage is a decibal I can actually get

When I not just grief sick and ruined

Watching history not be history, watching the music not be music

Knowing someone having the best night of her whole life said

"This is my favorite song."

And then a rifle lifted over a bathroom stall and emptied

A magazine into the kidneys of a grown man texting

"Mommy, I'm gonna die."

His hand prints in blood on the walls

Reaching for people dying in the fetal position

People covered in their friend′s blood

Sobbing too hard to hide from their own deaths

While people outside pushed bandannas into bullet wounds

It′s true, what they say about the gays being so fashionable

Their ghosts, they never go out of style

Even life, it's like funeral practice

Half of us already dead to our families before we die

Half of us on our knees trying to crawl

Into the family photo, that night

On stage I kept remembering being fifteen at Disneyland

Wearing my best friend′s hoodie like it was my boyfriend's class ring

How many years it took me to just touch her face

How many years I spent praying my heart could play dead

Till the threat was gone, till the world changed

Till history was history, but history

It just keeps coming for the high

Keeps shooting up bodies

Keeps drumming up reasons to have metal detectors at

Poetry readings where the poems

They′re just unanswered calls

To people who claim their God

Or their apathy, is unwilling to accept the charges

Dear God, how broke do you have to be, to not buy people time

To get out the door when the song goes to fucking hell

When this world drunk on hate

Decides blood is wine and drinks its fill

In the only place they ever thought was safe

In the only place they thought they did not have to hide

In the only place they were wanted because

Because of who they loved and how they loved and how they loved

Till someone walked through their bodies and asked who was still alive

And hardly anyone put their hand up

https://open.spotify.com/track/6xHEAa158iY2H3LpNZMqt0?si=8H90eM-vS2SocXEXZGcg_Q

[mpmcorner]

Anderson Lee Aldrich: What we know about suspect in the Colorado Springs shooting.

What we know about Anderson Lee Aldrich, the alleged Colorado Springs Club Q shooter Anderson Lee Aldrich: What we know about suspect in the Colorado Springs shooting A suspect has been detained following the mass shooting on November 19 in Colorado Springs, which left five people dead and 18 more hurt. At 11.57 p.m., police officers arrived on the site after 911 dispatchers got "several" calls reporting an active shooter inside the club. Anderson Lee Aldrich, 22, was identified as the shooter by Colorado Springs Police early on Sunday. He was admitted to the hospital with unknown wounds. Club Q described the assault as a hate crime and claimed it was "devastated" by it. An event featuring drag queens that started at 9 p.m. and was scheduled to end at 2 a.m. was where the shooting occurred.

Who is the Colorado Springs shooting suspect Anderson Lee Aldrich?

On Sunday morning, Anderson Lee Aldrich, 22, was identified as the alleged shooter. The culprit was apprehended on the spot and taken to the hospital with unidentified injuries. Aldrich entered the club and started firing a long rifle, according to Colorado Springs Police Deputy Chief Adrian Vasquez, before being tackled by onlookers. At the scene, two firearms were found. There hasn't yet been a motive identified.

How did the shooting unfold?

The shooting happened following "Delusions," a punk and alternative drag performance staged by actor Del Lusional, at Club Q. The event started at 9 o'clock, then a DJ spun tunes from 11 o'clock till 2 a.m. Just before midnight, there was a report of gunfire, and police flocked to the area. "I heard the gunshots while I was backstage. In a tweet, Del Lusional stated, "I only saw the after math and even then, I didn't want to look. The singer wrote: "I never dreamed this would happen to me and my bar," in another post. What should I do with myself? The gunfire is unavoidable in my ears. According to a witness who talked with Colorado Public Radio, one victim fled the scene for a neighbouring 7-Eleven where they both passed out. One of the victims had been shot seven times when he ran over here in an effort to seek assistance. "He fell down. That warning tape is there at the front for a reason. People within the facility allegedly assisted in stopping the shooter, according to a Facebook post on the club. A statement on the club's Facebook page reads, "Our and thoughts are with all the victims and their families and friends." We appreciate the brave patrons' swift efforts in tackling the shooter and putting an end to this hate crime. 11 ambulances and more than 30 firefighters arrived on the site, and ambulances transferred three victims at a time to nearby hospitals. Also read: How did Jean Marie Straub die? Cause of death – revealed. Police spokesperson Lt Pam Castro refused to speculate on a motive during an early morning press briefing, stating that "the inquiry is in the very early stages." The number of fatalities and injuries, Lt. Castro continued, "may alter as the inquiry progresses." The Colorado Springs Police Department's inquiry is being helped by the FBI as well. The killing occurred only days before Sunday's International Transgender Day of Remembrance, when activities are held all over the world to mourn and remember transgender people who have died as a result of violence. The shooting in Colorado Springs was certain to have a unique impact on Sunday's activities. According to its website, the gay and lesbian nightclub Club Q presents a Drag Diva Drag Show every Saturday. On top of the drag show, Club Q advertised a Sunday "all ages brunch" and a "punk and alternative event" that would be followed by a birthday dance party. The shooting brought back memories of the 49-person tragedy that occurred in 2016 at the Pulse LGBT nightclub in Orlando, Florida. Read the full article

[takemehomefromnarnia]

Our thoughts go out to victims of deadly attack at gay bar leading to cancellation of Oslo Pride

We are shocked and heartbroken to hear about the shooting at Oslo’s London Pub, a popular gay bar, that left two people dead and twenty one gravely wounded. The police are treating this as a terrorist attack. Oslo Pride, which was supposed to have taken place today, has been cancelled for safety reasons. 

Our hearts go out to the victims and their loved ones. 

This news is tough, on all of us in the community, as once again, the scene of this tragedy was a gay club, one of the rare places meant to be a safe space for LGBTQ people, and where they are to be able to enjoy themselves and find some respite from the inequalities and pressures they face in everyday life.

The cancellation of Oslo pride as a result is a bitter pill to swallow - necessary for safety, today, but hopefully a safe Oslo pride can be held in the coming weeks or months in honor of the victims.

If ever anyone thought “pride is not necessary anymore”, this is your answer. 

We believe that we should not stop fighting for our safe spaces now out of fear, because it is this very fear and isolation that the attackers seek to create. We are stronger, we find support in our community, and will continue to seek and build that community. We will keep finding each other  in our bars, we will keep fighting for our safe space and attend Pride. 

If you (or someone close to you) are in need of help and support at this time, here are some resources we put together after the Orlando Pulse shootings - they may not be entirely up to date but it’s a starting point

(links that no longer work deleted form original post) 

Takemehomefromnarnia’s resource masterpost for LGBTQ+ helplines and chats, organisations, safe houses and more (warning some of these links were first put together in 2014, some work, some do not - we will work on compiling a new list of resources )

[elumish]

A lot of people seem to not know this, so...here's a (sort of) brief non-comprehensive timeline of (primarily) USian super recent queer history (warning for a lot of anti-queer violence and discrimination):

1980: Gender Identity Disorder first appeared in the DSM-III

1980: Inhibited sexual desire (ISD), later renamed Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder (HSDD) first appeared in the DSM-III

1981: AIDS was first noticed by doctors in LA, NYC, and San Francisco in clusters of Kaposi's sarcoma and pneumocystis pneumonia in gay/bi men.

1983: Gerry Studds became the first openly gay member of Congress after being censured for a 1973 sexual relationship with a 17-year-old male congressional page. He was later reelected six more times.

1987: Barney Frank became the first voluntarily openly gay member of Congress

1992: U.S. Navy Petty Officer Allen Schindler was murdered by a shipmate after having been repeatedly harassed for being gay. This became a major incident cited in the debate leading up to the passage of Don't Ask, Don't Tell (DADT)

1993: Brandon Teena, a trans man, was sexually assaulted and murdered in Humboldt, Nebraska. His story became the subject of the 1999 film Boys Don't Cry.

1993: In Baehr v. Miike, the Hawaii Supreme Court's decision suggested the possibility that Hawaii's prohibition on same-sex marriage may be unconstitutional.

1994: Don't Ask, Don't Tell, Don't Pursue (DADT), passed in 1993, comes into effect. This law prohibited discrimination or harassment within the military of closeted gay or bisexual members of the military, while also banning openly gay or bisexual individuals from serving in the military. An estimated >13,000 individuals were discharged before its repeal

1996: The Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) was passed and came into effect. It defined marriage for federal purposes as the union of one man and one woman and allowed states to refuse to recognize same-sex marriages.

1997: The Otherside Lounge, a lesbian bar, was bombed by Eric Robert Rudolph, the "Olympic Park Bomber"

1998: Tammy Baldwin became the first openly gay person elected to the House of Representatives and the first open lesbian elected to Congress

1998: Matthew Shepard was beaten and tortured in Laramie, Wyoming, later dying from his injuries

1998: Rita Hester, a Black trans woman, was murdered in Allston, Massachusetts. Her death inspired the Transgender Day of Remembrance.

1999: The trans pride flag was created by Monica Helms

2001: The Asexual Visibility and Education Network (AVEN) was founded by David Jay

2002: After a wave of state statutory and constitutional bans on same-sex marriage, 43 states have some form of ban against same-sex marriage

2003: Lawrence v. Texas, a landmark Supreme Court decision, struck down the sodomy law in Texas and invalidated sodomy laws in 13 other states.

2004: Massachusetts became the first US jurisdiction to license and reocognize same-sex marriages, as a result of the 2003 Massachusetts Supreme Judicial Court ruling in Goodridge v. Department of Public Health.

2008: The California Supreme Court ruled that same-sex marriage was legal. This was overturned by Proposition 8, a constitutional ban on same-sex marriage that was found unconstitutional in 2010.

2008: Timothy Ray Brown, identified as The Berlin Patient, was announced to be the first person cured of HIV/AIDS.

2009: Same-sex marriage is legalized in Connecticut following the the Connecticut Supreme Court's 2008 ruling in Kerrigan v. Commissioner of Public Health. 10 more states and DC would legalize same-sex marriage before United States v. Windsor.

2009: The Matthew Shepard and James Byrd, Jr. Hate Crimes Prevention Act was signed into law. It classified attacks based on sexual orientation or gender identity, as well as mental or physical disability, as hate crimes

2009: AVEN members walked in the San Francisco Pride Pride as the first asexual entry in an American pride parade

2011: DADT was repealed, allowing gay and bi individuals to openly serve in the military

2012: Kyrsten Sinema became the first openly bisexual person to be elected to Congress

2012: Tammy Baldwin became the first openly gay senator

2013: United States v. Windsor, a landmark Supreme Court Decision, ruled that DOMA was unconstitutional and that the federal government couldn't interpret "marriage" and "spouse" to only apply to different-sex unions

2013: The DSM-5 eliminated Gender Identity Disorder and instead referred to Gender Dysphoria, which focuses attention on those who feel distressed by their gender identity

2013: The DSM-5's criteria for Female Sexual Interest/Arousal Disorder and Male Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder excluded individuals who self-identify as asexual

2015: Obergefell v. Hodges, a landmark Supreme Court decision, ruled that the fundamental right to marry is guaranteed to same-sex couples. This required all states to perform and recognize same-sex marriages as equal to different-sex marriages. Prior to Obergefell, same-sex marriage was at least partially legal in 38 states, Guam, and DC.

2016: A mass shooting was committed in the Pulse Nightclub in Orlando by Omar Mateen, leaving 49 dead and 53 wounded. ISIS claimed responsibility for the attack

2018: Openly trans individuals were allowed to join the military

2018: Danica Roem became the first openly trans person to be elected to and serve in a U.S. state legislature

2020: Bostock v. Clayton County, a Supreme Court decision, ruled that Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964 prohibited employement discrimination against queer people.

2020: A second man was announced to have been cured of HIV using a stem-cell treatment.

Feel free to add on to this, and let me know if any of the links are broken.

[ucflibrary]

Pride Month has arrived!

While every day is a time to be proud of your identity and orientation, June is that extra special time for boldly celebrating with and for the LGBTQIA+ community (yes, there are more than lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender folx in the queer community). June was chosen to honor the Stonewall Riots which happened in 1969. Like other celebratory months, LGBT Pride Month started as a weeklong series of events and expanded into a full month of festivities.

2021 is also the 5th anniversary of the Pulse nightclub shooting in Orlando where 49 members of our community were murdered on June 12, 2016. On the main floor of the John C. Hitt Library there will be display cases with items from the University Archives relating to Pulse memorials as well as a display wall honoring the lives lost. Both of these library memorials were created in partnership with UCF LGBTQ Services. UCF will also be hosting several events in June to help the community remember, grieve and grow stronger. Full listing of events is available on the Pulse Remembrance event calendar.

Additional Pulse memorial events will be hosted by the onePULSE Foundation.  An memorial archival collection from the first anniversary of the shooting can be found as part of the Resilience: Remembering Pulse in the STARS Citizen Curator collection.

In honor of Pride Month, UCF Library faculty and staff suggested books from the UCF collection that represent a wide array of queer authors and characters. Click on the read more link below to see the full list, descriptions, and catalog links. There is also an extensive physical display on the main floor of the John C. Hitt Library near the Research & Information Desk.

All Adults Here by Emma Straub Emma Straub's unique alchemy of wisdom, humor, and insight come together in a deeply satisfying story about adult siblings, aging parents, high school boyfriends, middle school mean girls, the lifelong effects of birth order, and all the other things that follow us into adulthood, whether we like them to or not. Suggested by Rachel Mulvihill, Downtown Library

 All the Young Men: a memoir of love, AIDS, and chosen family in the American South by Ruth Coker Burks & Kevin Carr O'Leary A gripping and triumphant tale of human compassion, is the true story of Ruth Coker Burks, a young single mother in Hot Springs, Arkansas, who finds herself driven to the forefront of the AIDS crisis, and becoming a pivotal activist in America’s fight against AIDS. Suggested by Megan Haught, Student Learning & Engagement/Research & Information Services

 And the Band Played On: politics, people and the AIDS epidemic by Randy Shilts An international bestseller, a nominee for the National Book Critics Circle Award, and made into a critically acclaimed movie, Shilts' expose revealed why AIDS was allowed to spread unchecked during the early 80's while the most trusted institutions ignored or denied the threat. One of the few true modern classics, it changed and framed how AIDS was discussed in the following years. Suggested by Becky Hammond, Special Collections & University Archives

 Big Gay Adventures in Education: supporting LGBT+ visibility and inclusion in schools edited by Daniel Tomlinson-Gray A collection of true stories by 'out' teachers, and students of 'out' teachers, all about their experiences in schools. The book aims to empower LGBT+ teachers to be the role models they needed when they were in school and help all teachers and school leaders to promote LGBT+ visibility and inclusion. Each story is accompanied by an editor’s note reflecting on the contributor’s experience and the practical implications for schools and teachers in supporting LGBT+ young people and ensuring they feel safe and included in their school communities. Suggested by Terrie Sypolt, Research & Information Services

 Call Me By Your Name by André Aciman The sudden and powerful attraction between a teenage boy and a summer guest at his parents' house on the Italian Riviera has a profound and lasting influence that will mark them both for a lifetime. Suggested by Rebecca Hawk, Circulation

 Fun Home: a family tragicomic by Alison Bechdel Meet Alison's father, a historic preservation expert and obsessive restorer of the family's Victorian house, a third-generation funeral home director, a high school English teacher, an icily distant parent, and a closeted homosexual who, as it turns out, is involved with male students and a family babysitter. Through narrative that is alternately heartbreaking and fiercely funny, we are drawn into a daughter's complex yearning for her father. And yet, apart from assigned stints dusting caskets at the family-owned 'fun home, ' as Alison and her brothers call it, the relationship achieves its most intimate expression through the shared code of books. When Alison comes out as homosexual herself in late adolescence, the denouement is swift, graphic, and redemptive. Suggested by Michael Furlong, UCF Connect Libraries

 Gender Queer: a memoir by Maia Kobabe; colors by Phoebe Kobabe In 2014, Maia Kobabe, who uses e/em/eir pronouns, thought that a comic of reading statistics would be the last autobiographical comic e would ever write. At the time, it was the only thing e felt comfortable with strangers knowing about em. Maia's intensely cathartic autobiography charts eir journey of self-identity, which includes the mortification and confusion of adolescent crushes, grappling with how to come out to family and society, bonding with friends over erotic gay fanfiction, and facing the trauma and fundamental violation of pap smears. Started as a way to explain to eir family what it means to be nonbinary and asexual, this is more than a personal story: it is a useful and touching guide on gender identity--what it means and how to think about it--for advocates, friends, and humans everywhere. Suggested by Megan Haught, Student Learning & Engagement/Research & Information Services

 Heaven's Coast: a memoir by Mark Doty The harmonious partnership of two gay men is shattered when they learn that one has tested positive for the HIV virus. Suggested by Claudia Davidson, Downtown Library

 Hurricane Child by Kheryn Callender Born on Water Island in the Virgin Islands during a hurricane, which is considered bad luck, twelve-year-old Caroline falls in love with another girl--and together they set out in a hurricane to find Caroline's missing mother. Suggested by Rebecca Hawk, Circulation

 Last Night at the Telegraph Club by Malinda Lo Seventeen-year-old Lily Hu can't remember exactly when the question took root, but the answer was in full bloom the moment she and Kathleen Miller walked under the flashing neon sign of a lesbian bar called the Telegraph Club. America in 1954 is not a safe place for two girls to fall in love, especially not in Chinatown. Red-Scare paranoia threatens everyone, including Chinese Americans like Lily. With deportation looming over her father--despite his hard-won citizenship--Lily and Kath risk everything to let their love see the light of day. Suggested by Claudia Davidson, Downtown Library

 Laura Dean Keeps Breaking Up with Me by Mariko Tamaki & Rosemary Valero-O’Connell All Freddy Riley wants is for Laura Dean to stop breaking up with her. The day they got together was the best one of Freddy's life, but nothing's made sense since. Laura Dean is popular, funny, and SO CUTE ... but she can be really thoughtless, even mean. Their on-again, off-again relationship has Freddy's head spinning - and Freddy's friends can't understand why she keeps going back. When Freddy consults the services of a local mystic, the mysterious Seek-Her, she isn't thrilled with the advice she receives. But something's got to give: Freddy's heart is breaking in slow motion, and she may be about to lose her very best friend as well as her last shred of self-respect. Mariko Tamaki and Rosemary Valero-O'Connell bring to life a sweet and spirited tale of young love that asks us to consider what happens when we ditch the toxic relationships we crave to embrace the heathy ones we need. Suggested by Sara Duff, Acquisitions & Collections

 LGBT Health: meeting the needs of gender and sexual minorities edited by K. Bryant Smalley, Jacob C. Warren, K. Nikki Barefoot A first-of-its-kind, comprehensive view of mental, medical, and public health conditions within the LGBT community. This book examines the health outcomes and risk factors that gender and sexual minority groups face while simultaneously providing evidence-based clinical recommendations and resources for meeting their health needs. Drawing from leading scholars and practitioners of LGBT health, this holistic, centralized text synthesizes epidemiologic, medical, psychological, sociological, and public health research related to the origins of, current state of, and ways to improve LGBT health. Suggested by Sandy Avila, Research & Information Services

 Lived Experience: reflections on LGBTQ life by Delphine Diallo  A beautiful series of full-color portraits of LGBTQ people over the age of fifty, accompanied by interviews. Suggested by Jacqui Johnson, Cataloging

 Love is for Losers by Wibke Bruggemann When Phoebe's mother ditches her to work as a doctor for an international human rights organization, she is stuck living with her mom's best friend, Kate, and helping out at Kate's thrift shop. There she meet Emma. Phoebe tries to shield her head and her heart from experiencing love-- after all, love is for losers, right? Suggested by Pam Jaggernauth, Curriculum Materials Center

 Man Into Woman: an authentic record of a change of sex edited by Niels Hoyer This riveting account of the transformation of the Danish painter Einar Wegener into Lili Elbe is a remarkable journey from man to woman. Einar Wegener was a leading artist in late 1920's Paris. One day his wife Grete asked him to dress as a woman to model for a portrait. It was a shattering event which began a struggle between his public male persona and emergent female self, Lili. Einar was forced into living a double life; enjoying a secret hedonist life as Lili, with Grete and a few trusted friends, whilst suffering in public as Einar, driven to despair and almost to suicide. Doctors, unable to understand his condition, dismissed him as hysterical. Lili eventually forced Einar to face the truth of his being - he was, in fact, a woman. This bizarre situation took an extraordinary turn when it was discovered that his body contained primitive female sex organs. There followed a series of dangerous experimental operations and a confrontation with the conventions of the age until Lili was eventually liberated from Einar - a freedom that carried the ultimate price. Suggested by Richard Harrison, Research & Information Services

 On Earth We’re Briefly Gorgeous by Ocean Vuong This is a letter from a son to a mother who cannot read. Written when the speaker, Little Dog, is in his late twenties, the letter unearths a family's history that began before he was born -- a history whose epicenter is rooted in Vietnam -- and serves as a doorway into parts of his life his mother has never known, all of it leading to an unforgettable revelation. At once a witness to the fraught yet undeniable love between a single mother and her son, it is also a brutally honest exploration of race, class, and masculinity. Suggested by Rachel Mulvihill, Downtown Library

 Queer Objects edited by Chris Brickell & Judith Collard Queer lives give rise to a vast array of objects: the things we fill our houses with, the gifts we share with our friends, the commodities we consume at work and at play, the clothes and accessories we wear, various reminders of state power, as well as the analogue and digital technologies we use to communicate with one another. But what makes an object queer? 63 chapters consider this question in relation to lesbian, gay and transgender communities across time, cultures and space. In this unique international collaboration, well-known and newer writers traverse world history to write about items ranging from ancient Egyptian tomb paintings and Roman artefacts to political placards, snapshots, sex toys and the smartphone. Suggested by Megan Haught, Student Learning & Engagement/Research & Information Services

 Real Life by Brandon Taylor A novel of rare emotional power that excavates the social intricacies of a late-summer weekend -- and a lifetime of buried pain. Almost everything about Wallace, an introverted African-American transplant from Alabama, is at odds with the lakeside Midwestern university town where he is working toward a biochem degree. For reasons of self-preservation, Wallace has enforced a wary distance even within his own circle of friends -- some dating each other, some dating women, some feigning straightness. But a series of confrontations with colleagues, and an unexpected encounter with a young straight man, conspire to fracture his defenses, while revealing hidden currents of resentment and desire that threaten the equilibrium of their community. Suggested by Sara Duff, Acquisitions & Collections

 Riley Can’t Stop Crying by Stephanie Boulay While his sister tries everything to help, a young boy isn't sure why he can't stop crying in this transitional picture book. Suggested by Pam Jaggernauth, Curriculum Materials Center

 Supporting Success for LGBTQ+ Students: tools for inclusive campus practice by Cindy Ann Kilgo This book aims to serve as a one-stop resource for faculty and staff in higher education settings who are seeking to enhance their campus climate and systems of support for LGBTQ+ student success. Included are theoretical frameworks and conceptual models that can be used in practice. Suggested by Terrie Sypolt, Research & Information Services

 The City and the Pillar: a novel by Gore Vidal Jim, a handsome, all-American athlete, has always been shy around girls. But when he and his best friend, Bob, partake in “awful kid stuff,” the experience forms Jim’s ideal of spiritual completion. Defying his parents’ expectations, Jim strikes out on his own, hoping to find Bob and rekindle their amorous friendship. Along the way he struggles with what he feels is his unique bond with Bob and with his persistent attraction to other men. Upon finally encountering Bob years later, the force of his hopes for a life together leads to a devastating climax. The first novel of its kind to appear on the American literary landscape, this remains a forthright and uncompromising portrayal of sexual relationships between men. Suggested by Richard Harrison, Research & Information Services

 The Invisible Orientation: an introduction to asexuality by Julie Sondra Decker Julie Sondra Decker outlines what asexuality is, counters misconceptions, provides resources, and puts asexual people's experiences in context as they move through a sexualized world. It includes information for asexual people to help understand their orientation and what it means for their relationships, as well as tips and facts for those who want to understand their asexual friends and loved ones. Suggested by Dawn Tripp, Research & Information Services

 The New Testament by Jericho Brown The world of Jericho Brown's second book, disease runs through the body, violence runs through the neighborhood, memories run through the mind, trauma runs through generations. Almost eerily quiet in even the bluntest of poems, Brown gives us the ache of a throat that has yet to say the hardest thing-and the truth is coming on fast. Suggested by Claudia Davidson, Downtown Library

 The Prophets by Robert Jones With a lyricism reminiscent of Toni Morrison, Robert Jones, Jr., fiercely summons the voices of slaver and enslaved alike, from Isaiah and Samuel to the calculating slave master to the long line of women that surround them, women who have carried the soul of the plantation on their shoulders. As tensions build and the weight of centuries—of ancestors and future generations to come—culminates in a climactic reckoning, masterfully reveals the pain and suffering of inheritance, but is also shot through with hope, beauty, and truth, portraying the enormous, heroic power of love. Suggested by Rachel Mulvihill, Downtown Library

 The Ship We Built by Lexie Bean A fifth-grader whose best friends walked away, whose mother is detached, and whose father does unspeakable things, copes with the help of friend Sofie and anonymous letters tied to balloons and released. Includes a list of resources related to abuse, gender, sexuality, and more. Suggested by Pam Jaggernauth, Curriculum Materials Center

 Tinderbox: the untold story of the Up Stairs Lounge fire and the rise of gay liberation by Robert W. Fieseler Buried for decades, the Up Stairs Lounge tragedy has only recently emerged as a catalyzing event of the gay liberation movement. In revelatory detail, Robert W. Fieseler chronicles the tragic event that claimed the lives of thirty-one men and one woman on June 24, 1973, at a New Orleans bar, the largest mass murder of gays until 2016. Relying on unprecedented access to survivors and archives, Fieseler creates an indelible portrait of a closeted, blue- collar gay world that flourished before an arsonist ignited an inferno that destroyed an entire community. The aftermath was no less traumatic--families ashamed to claim loved ones, the Catholic Church refusing proper burial rights, the city impervious to the survivors' needs--revealing a world of toxic prejudice that thrived well past Stonewall. Yet the impassioned activism that followed proved essential to the emergence of a fledgling gay movement. Fieseler restores honor to a forgotten generation of civil-rights martyrs. Suggested by Andy Todd, UCF Connect Libraries

 Transgender: a reference handbook by Aaron Devor and Ardel Haefele-Thomas This book provides a crucial resource for readers who are investigating trans issues. It takes a diverse and historic approach, focusing on more than one idea or one experience of trans identity or trans history. The book takes contemporary as well as historic aspects into consideration. It looks at ancient indigenous cultures that honored third, fourth, and fifth gender identities as well as more contemporary ideas of what "transgender" means. Notably, it focuses not only on Western medical ideas of gender affirmation but on cultural diversity surrounding the topic. This book will primarily serve as a reference guide and jumping off point for further research for those seeking information about what it means to be transgender. Suggested by Richard Harrison, Research & Information Services

 Transnational LGBT Activism: working for sexual rights worldwide by Ryan R. Thoreson Thoreson argues that the idea of LGBT human rights is not predetermined but instead is defined by international activists who establish what and who qualifies for protection. He shows how International Gay and Lesbian Human Rights Commission (IGLHRC) formed and evolved, who is engaged in this work, how they conceptualize LGBT human rights, and how they have institutionalized their views at the United Nations and elsewhere. After a full year of in-depth research in New York City and Cape Town, South Africa, Thoreson is able to reconstruct IGLHRC’s early campaigns and highlight decisive shifts in the organization’s work from its founding to the present day. Suggested by Sandy Avila, Research & Information Services

 Upright Women Wanted by Sarah Gailey Esther is a stowaway. She's hidden herself away in the Librarian's book wagon in an attempt to escape the marriage her father has arranged for her--a marriage to the man who was previously engaged to her best friend. Her best friend who she was in love with. Her best friend who was just executed for possession of resistance propaganda. The future American Southwest is full of bandits, fascists, and queer librarian spies on horseback trying to do the right thing. Suggested by Sara Duff, Acquisitions & Collections

 Walt Whitman's Songs of Male Intimacy and Love: "Live oak, with moss" and "Calamus" edited by Betsy Erkkila This volume includes Whitman's handwritten manuscript version of the twelve "Live oak, with moss" poems along side with a print transcription of these poems on the opposite page, followed by a facsimile of the original version of the "Calamus" poems published in the 1860-61 edition of Leaves of grass, and a reprint of the final version of the "Calamus" poems in the 1881 edition of Leaves of grass. Suggested by Rebecca Hawk, Circulation

[dreamsequencing]

it's 2016

i met her at my first pride old and bright and layered with glitter

Like stars on heaven crow's feet from smiling

black and grey curls of hair that turned white and White hair that turned Colors,

A rainbow that was different when you blinked

Like she had made the colors themselves

"I love my dead gay son"

Her sign, painted with glitter glue

She told me about him,

And in the end we laughed over some joke,

She laughed like my mother, Like my grandmother

And my high school art teacher

All at once

i read on my phone, Man found with guns and explosives

On his way to pride

Ready to shoot up the sinners

A couple blocks from where I stood

She read my mind and laid a hand on My shoulder

Above my heart "May the lord be with you"

Reflexive like thank you Reflexive like breathing in,

The smell of dried flowers and dust motes

And foggy stained glass and Incense

"And also be with you"

her smile was sunlight

We saw her son in the parade, young and bright and layered with glitter,

face copper like the statues I prayed to in Sunday school

face unlike the statues I prayed before I left Sunday school

Black shirt, holding up a banner for Orlando

Somber but alive

So incredibly alive I had to blink

And accidentally walk in on my friend and him making out in a bar Full of joy

She told me

Hes always most alive when theres love

She gave me a flag before leaving with her son

Homeward bound and happy for the day

The car ride home smelled of olive oil and incense my friend texted him the entire ride home

We were silent otherwise

The radio tuned to my girlfriend's playlist

And i swore I saw mother and son pass us by on the highway Alive

[prusina]

When the first responders entered the Pulse nightclub after the massacre in Orlando, they walked through the horrific scene of bodies and called out, If you are alive, raise your hand.

I was sleeping in a hotel in the midwest at the time but I imagine in that exact moment my hand twitched in my sleep, some unconscious part of me aware that I had a pulse, that I was alive. The next day I woke to the news that an assault rifle had fired 202 bullets through a gay bar on Latin night in one of the worst massacres in US history a massacre of people who did not leave the dance floor when they heard gunshots because they thought they were just the beats of the song.

Everyone around me spent that day grieving and every tear was someone’s dance sweat drying in the morgue. Later that night I was on stage performing for an audience that had spent two hours in line waiting to get through the metal detectors I couldn’t keep my hand from covering my heart. I kept scouring the club for the fastest route to every exit. I knew the person working security was in a text war and wasn’t keeping his eyes on the door, I knew there was a man in the fifth row picking at the seams of his duffle bag.

Every few seconds I’d eye the balcony for the glint of whatever might aim to tear the bodies off of the spirits of the boys holding hands or the girls with the haircuts short as my temper when rage is a decibel I can actually get to when I'm not just grief-sick and ruined watching history not be history, watching the music not be music, knowing someone having the best night of her whole life said, This is my favorite song, and then a rifle lifted over a bathroom stall and emptied a magazine into the kidneys of a grown man texting, Mommy, I’m gonna die, his handprints in blood on the walls, reaching for people dying in the fetal position, people covered in their friend’s blood, sobbing too hard to hide from their own deaths, while people outside pushing bandanas into bullet wounds.

It’s true what they say about the gays being so fashionable, their ghosts they never go out of style, even life is like funeral practice half of us already dead to our families before we die, half of us still on our knees trying to crawl into the family photo.

That night on stage I kept remembering being fifteen at Disneyland wearing my best friend’s hoodie like it was boyfriend’s class ring.

How many years it took me to just touch her face, how many years I spent praying my heart could play dead, until the threat was gone, until the world changed, until history was history, but history just keeps coming for the high, keeps shooting up bodies, keeps drumming up reasons to have metal detectors at poetry readings where the poems they are just unanswered calls to people who claim their god or their apathy is unwilling to accept the charges.

Dear god, how broke do you have to be to not buy people time to get out the door when the song goes to fucking hell? When this world, drunk on hate, decides blood is wine and drinks its fill in the only place they ever thought was safe? In the only place they thought they did not have to hide? In the only place they were wanted because, because of who they loved, and how they loved and how they loved, until someone walked through their bodies and asked who was still alive, and hardly anyone put their hand up.

- Orlando, Andrea Gibson

[holidaywishes]

It Had To Be You XXXIV

Chapter Thirty Four: Lush Life

  Summary: Your friend invites you onto his podcast over the summer and asks you a lot of question about Tyler and your relationship with him; leading him to do a lot of uncharacteristic things.

  Author’s Note: Two in one week?! What sorcery is this? I kid, I kid. So, I’m sorry that the last chapter ended almost identically to others I’ve add -- but it was a fluffy smut chapter that it deserved it; especially with what’s coming up. This one jumps ahead about 5 months from January to August and that’s the biggest “warning.” Again, I was going to add some angst but I’m waiting for it to build up some more. So, this one is sweet and still pretty short but if you keep this one in mind, you’ll be able to tie all the drama together. 🤷‍♀️

  Warning: Time jump, tiniest bit of angst

  Song Credit: Lush Life -- Zara Larsson

  masterlist

  the other masterlist

xx

  The last five months had been almost perfect; almost like it had been at the beginning of your relationship. Tyler took you out to the Bahama’s for a week, the two of you took in a festival in Dallas and Toronto, Chris even convinced the two of you to come back to Calgary for the Stampede where you met Ethan’s new boyfriend, Graham.

  “Ethan talks about you all the time!” Graham said upon your first meeting him, hugging you tightly

  “I’m so happy to meet you! When Ethan first mentioned you to me, I don’t think I’d ever seen him smile so wide. It was adorable” you laughed. It was true though. Ethan hadn’t really dated since Orlando and you wondered if he’d ever be in that place again so when he told you he met someone on Tinder you were nervous, because it was Tinder, but he couldn’t stop gushing about him. When he FaceTimed you randomly one day, you weren’t expecting him to tell you that things were serious; but he did, and he was so happy that you couldn’t stop smiling. Graham and Tyler talked for a bit while Ethan pulled you aside

  “I need you to do me and Graham a favour...” he said

  “Of course, I’ll officiate your wedding” you joked and he smiled before shaking his head

  “Graham just started a podcast, but he’s having a hard time promoting it...”

  “What’s it about?”

  “Dating”

  “What’s the hook?”

  “Hook?”

  “There’s a million dating and relationship podcasts out there. What makes his stand out? What’s the brand?”

  “It.. He’s describing it as a hopeless romantic’s guide to dating in a world that is forever obsessed with hooking up.”

  “Okay, fair...” you furrowed your brow, “what’s the favour? You want me to ask Ty to go on?”

  “No, see, that’s what I thought,” he said, excitedly, “I suggested it and said it would be such a good starting off point. You know free publicity and all that. But Graham said no, because the chances of him having another professional athlete, or guest at all, were slim so he wanted someone who people could relate to!”

  “And that’s me?”

  “OF COURSE!”

  “I mean, I’m in!” you smiled, “but I’m not sure I’ll be the most exciting guest...”

xx

Tyler’s P.O.V.

  You and Ethan sat down outside the podcast studio while (Y/N) and Graham recorded. You could hear some of it but not enough to gain anything from it, so you turned to Ethan to talk about his relationship; listening to him gush about his boyfriend, you wondered if (Y/N) had ever been like that to her friends about you.

  “I’m glad the two of you have been able to get back to a good place,” he said, as if he was reading your mind, “she really loves you but she gets.. stupid sometimes.” He laughed at his own words and you laughed back, hearing Graham’s laugh fill the studio and (Y/N)’s follow soon after.

  “What do you think they’re saying in there?” you asked

  “We’ll have to wait until tomorrow when Graham puts it up. He does it all himself you know?” Ethan gushed, “he’s pretty amazing..” You weren’t sure what to say, so you smiled to yourself and then over at Ethan who was clearly sporting a deep red blush across his cheeks. The podcast went out the next day, like Ethan had said it would, but you had to wait an extra day to listen to it and when you finally got around to listening to it while you were driving around the city, you inhaled slowly before pressing play.

  “Welcome everyone, to those few out there who are actually listening to this podcast, welcome. Hello. Hi. Thank you for being here,” Graham started, with a laugh before introducing you, “I have a guest with me today. I’m excited, my first guest! So, welcome everyone, my new friend, (Y/N) (Y/L/N)...”

  “Hello,” (Y/N) said softly, “I’m so happy to be here. This is my first time on a podcast, so it’ll be interesting to see what happens.” You were proud of her, how confident she sounded and how happy she seemed. Graham prompted her with questions about whether or not she was single, “I’m not, no, I’m in a relationship,” she answered, “he’s busy a lot but we’re happy. He’s actually sitting outside the studio as we record.”

  “He’s a super nice guy, everyone, do you want to keep him a secret or tell people who he is?” Graham asked eagerly

  “I can say, I don’t think he’d mind..” she laughed, “Tyler Seguin”

  “What’s that like? Dating a hockey player? A pro athlete?”

  “I mean it can be a lot... Like I said, his schedule gets really hectic and sometimes I don’t get to see him very often but when we finally get to spend time with each other, we try our best to make the most of it.” You smiled at (Y/N)’s sentiment, getting a quick text from her as you pulled into your driveway

  “I just landed, Lucy’s with me. She’s already ordered an Uber. See you soon. Love you!” she wrote

  “Love you too” you replied and went back to listening to the podcast, only now realizing they’d changed topics from you to online dating

  “I hate all the apps. I was on all of them for literally like a minute,” (Y/N) admitted, “but they’re all so shallow. Even Hinge. The one app where you’re supposed to get to know someone by the answers they give but here’s the thing... NO ONE ANSWERS A GOD DAMN PROMPT!” she exclaimed and the two of them burst into laughter, “they all add pictures of themselves with fish or at a shooting range or like in a huge group of people and you’re just like: What am I supposed to do with this?”

  “Right?!” Graham continued, “and, obviously my dating apps are different than yours might be, but if you’re looking for relationships you have to weed out these guys who are just showing pictures of their abs so they can ‘move the camera down’ later...”

  “No one wants that! Like, I’m sorry. Gay or Straight, penises are not pretty to look at. I wouldn’t say that vagina’s are either but that’s why it’s called ‘bumping ugly’s’“ they laughed

  “So has Ty ever sent you a dick pic?” Graham asked semi-seriously

  “No. Thank god. I think he’s being a little more careful with what he sends because he’s been burned with stuff in the past. Which I think is completely fair and actually very smart. Plus, I don’t know what I’d do with it. I’m not gonna stare at it. I mean, I’ve seen it before and I’ll see it again. I don’t need pictures of it when he’s on the road...” You laughed along and cleaned up the house with the podcast playing in the background while you waited for (Y/N) and Lucy to walk in when you heard Graham ask something unexpected

  “Do you think you’ll ever get married? Like do you see Tyler ever proposing to you?”

  “Tyler? no. I’d marry him in a heartbeat. I mean we’ve been together something like 2 years, maybe 3, and we’ve had our ups and downs but I love his stupid face and his ridiculous love for what he does and how much he loves his fans. I love it all. Honestly. But Ty’s never been the marrying type. You know, we’re young and I think he wants to make sure that whoever he’s with is going to be the person that he wants to BE with. Because I wholeheartedly believe that he wants to marry once or not at all” you stopped what you were doing to listen to what she was saying

  “Why don’t you think that’s you though?” Ethan asked and you leaned in

  “I’m not the most confident person in the world, and it’s been a huge cause of a lot of our arguments. I can’t see ME, not him, me, ever getting past that part of myself that always jealous of the girls who slide into his DM’s when he’s on the road or the friends of the girlfriends of the other guys on the team who show up at parties or bars when the guys are out or childhood friends who are now tall, beautiful models. I guess I just think that those issues would always come up and it would just strain our relationship. We can always fix it when we’re dating but when we’re married, we’re in it. Like IN IT” she laughed

  “And he’s the guy who wants to marry once?”

  “Oh Absolutely. When you first meet him, he might seem like an eternal bachelor but once you get to know him you see this super romantic part of him and that’s the part that wants to get married and have kids and retire and just live the rest of his life in complete bliss.” You furrowed your brow at her words, having never really thought about it too much yourself, but you couldn’t say that she was totally off base. You listened to the rest of the podcast while you tidied up the house and just as it ended, Lucy and (Y/N) walked in the door.

  “HEY!” the sound of her voice felt different, as if the podcast had tainted it somehow but seeing her face brought the light back to her voice.

  “Hey” you answered, giving her a hug and kissing the crown of her head and nodding to Lucy as your welcome to her. “Can I talk to her alone for a second?” you asked Lucy

  “Go for it” she said and you guided (Y/N) to the bedroom. She giggled when you closed the door and paced in front of her but when you looked at her, you noticed her smile fade

  “What’s wrong?” she asked

  “Nothing..” you answered, “I uhm...”

  “Ty, you’re making me nervous. What’s going on?!” she whined and you rushed to calm her down, rubbing your hands up and down her arms when you got in front of her.

  “I listened to the podcast...” was all you said and she squinted at you, waiting for you to continue but all you could do was sigh.

xx

  You waited for Tyler to continue his thought because the podcast couldn’t have been bad enough to warrant this reaction

  “I didn’t mean to say anything bad, we were just talking about us and I was being honest...” you said, a frown crinkling your face

  “No no, it wasn’t anything bad. I’m so proud of you, I loved listening to you on the podcast,” he smiled but you were still confused, “but.. did you really mean what you said?”

  “Which part?” you asked

  “The marriage part. You don’t think we’ll ever get married?”

  “Ty, we’ve talked about this before. You don’t want to get married, I don’t think I’m ready to get married anyway but you’ve always said that if you’re gonna get married it won’t be for a long time. Like once you’re out of the NHL...”

  “Yeah, I’ve said that in the past... but maybe it’s different now..”

  “What changed?”

  “You?”

  “What?” you stepped back, away from his touch

  “You changed my mind. My opinions on all of it.” Stepping forward and grabbing your hands softly

  “I don’t understand...?” you shook your head

  “I don’t want to get married,” he said and you gasped, “right now!” he corrected and you laughed

  “I didn’t think you did” you interjected

  “I think we’re still too young but I want to do something,” he said and you furrowed your brow again, feeling a slight headache starting from how much he was confusing you but he turned around and grabbed something off the dresser, “it’s not a ring”

  “Is that my earring?” you laughed as he knelt in front of you

  “Yes,” he smiled, “I can’t promise you I won’t screw up or that you won’t feel insecure. I can’t promise that we’ll ever actually get married but I want you in my life because you make me happy and when I picture my life in 5 years.. you’re there. With me. And the dogs.”

  “Ty...” you tried

  “I honestly can’t promise you anything but what I can promise you is that I love you and I want you always...”

  “You’re such a loser,” you joked, and he smiled, “I can’t promise you anything either. I can’t promise that I’m good for you or that we’re good for each other but I can promise you that I’ve never wanted anyone more than you..”

  “So that’s a yes?” he asked

  “I mean.. sure? But what is it a yes to? That we love each other because we didn’t really need my earring for that?”

  “That we’ll always love each other, married or not. Together or not...” you tilted your head to the side and pouted mockingly

   “If that’s what it is,” you said with a smile, moving your hand to his cheek, “of course.” He smiled and pulled you in for a hug, kissing your cheek and holding you there for a bit before Lucy threw open the door.

  “What the hell is going on here?” she said only to be met but the two of you smiling brightly.

  “We’re not engaged!” you exclaimed and Lucy’s face contorted into pure confusion, leaving you and Tyler to laugh at the situation.

[thekotaroo]

Profiles of Pride: June 12th! 🏳️‍🌈Pulse Nightclub🏳️‍🌈

Pulse was a gay bar, dance club, and nightclub in Orlando, Florida, founded in 2004 by Barbara Poma and Ron Legler. On June 12, 2016, the club was the scene of the second worst mass shooting by a single gunman in U.S. history, and the second deadliest terrorist attack on U.S. soil since the events of September 11, 2001. Forty-nine people were killed and fifty-three other people were injured.

Founded by Barbara Poma and Ron Legler, Pulse opened on July 2, 2004. Poma's brother, John, died in 1991 from AIDS, and the club is "named for John's pulse to live on," according to a marketing staff member in February 2016. The venue had a focus on local talent. Poma ensured that her brother's memory was prominent on the website, and that the facility was more than "just another gay club." Legler, who was president of the Florida Theatrical Association when Pulse was founded, also founded two nightclubs in Lake Eola Park in 2010, before moving to Baltimore in 2014. The Washington Post described the club's first 12 years as "a community hub for HIV prevention, breast-cancer awareness and immigrant rights," and reported it had partnered with educational and advocacy groups such as Come Out with Pride, Equality Florida, and the Zebra Coalition.

On June 12, 2016, a lone gunman killed 49 people and wounded 58 others in a mass shooting. The attack was the deadliest single gunman mass shooting in United States history until the 2017 Las Vegas shooting, the deadliest incident of violence against LGBT people in U.S. history, and the second deadliest terrorist attack on U.S. soil since the September 11 attacks of 2001.

In November 2016, the city of Orlando agreed to buy the nightclub for $2.25 million. Mayor Buddy Dyer expressed plans to convert the nightclub into a memorial to honor the memory of the victims.

Barbara Poma, the owner, refused to sell the nightclub to the city in December 2016. Instead she announced in May 2017 the creation of the onePULSE Foundation to independently fund a memorial site and museum slated to open in 2022.

Remember those lost (read left to right from the top): 

Stanley Almodovar III, 23

Amanda Alvear, 25

Oscar A Aracena-Montero, 26

Rodolfo Ayala-Ayala, 33

Antonio Davon Brown, 29

Darryl R Burt II, 29

Jonathan A. Camuy Vega, 24

Angel L. Candelario-Padro, 28

Luis Omar Ocasio-Capo, 20

Simon Adrian Carrillo Fernandez, 31

Luis Daniel Conde, 39

Cory James Connell, 21

Tevin Eugene Crosby, 25

Anthony Luis Laureanodisla, 25

Deonka Deidra Drayton, 32

Leroy Valentin Fernandez, 25

Mercedez Marisol Flores, 26

Peter O. Gonzalez-Cruz, 22

Juan Ramon Guerrero, 22

Paul Terrell Henry, 41

Frank Hernandez, 27

Miguel Angel Honorato, 30

Franky Jimmy Dejesus Velazquez, 50

Javier Jorge-Reyes, 40

Jason Benjamin Josaphat, 19

Eddie Jamoldroy Justice, 30

Christopher Andrew Leinonen, 32

Alejandro Barrios Martinez, 21

Juan Chevez-Martinez, 25

Brenda Lee Marquez McCool, 49

Gilberto Ramon Silva Menendez, 25

Kimberly Morris, 37

Akyra Monet Murray, 18

Geraldo A. Ortiz-Jimenez, 25

Joel Rayon Paniagua, 32

Jean Carlos Mendez Perez, 35

Enrique L. Rios Jr., 25

Eric Ivan Ortiz-Rivera, 36

Jean C. Nieves Rodriguez, 27

Xavier Emmanuel Serrano Rosado, 35

Christopher Joseph Sanfeliz, 24

Yilmary Rodriguez Solivan, 24

Edward Sotomayor Jr., 34

Shane Evan Tomlinson, 33

Martin Benitez Torres, 33

Juan P. Rivera Velazquez, 37

Luis S. Vielma, 22

Luis Daniel Wilson-Leon, 37

Jerald Arthur Wright, 31