#Ordo is headcanon on the autistic spectrum

[nocturius8015ficore]

Nocturius: Third Republic Commando fanfiction! This one is about Ordo and Besany trying to understand each other.

————-

Fandom: Star Wars Republic Commando books by Karen Traviss

Characters: Ordo Skirata and Besany Wennen

Rating: Family-friendly ** Fairly accessible to people who don’t know RepCom **

Topic: Slice of life, autistic spectrum, romance

Pitch: Besany and Ordo are not very used to be with each other like a regular married couple. Adaptation is required.

It was late. Besany was tired but not as much as Ordo was. He just went back from a dangerous spec ops, took a shower and crashed on his bed without saying a word or taking a bite. Besany said to herself that she will never get used to that high level of risk about his husband but that was the life she chose.

Well, not exactly chosen, Ordo happened in his life and yes, she didn’t have to fall in love with him, she could have helped the clones by providing information only. Staying on Coruscant. Spying. Nothing was that simple with the clones though, especially those under Skirata’s protection. The point of no return was the day she saved Fi from being left to die at the hospital. The poor man, he never fully recovered from his injuries.

She spent most of her day busying herself with the chores of the Aliit and a bit of weapons training. Laseema and her were a great team at organizing and maintaining everything in order to sustain all those ever hungry soldiers and supporting their other needs.

She looked at Ordo. He was buried under the bed sheets. She only saw a part of his hand, in a claw position, holding the duvet. She hesitated before joining him in the bed, she didn't want to wake him up. Those men never seem to have enough sleep, even less leisure time.

‘’ Are you joining me or not? ’’ he said, not even moving. She shouldn't have been surprised. Of course Ordo wasn’t asleep. She probably woke him up by her footsteps only.

‘’ Yes, I’m sorry, I didn’t want to stare…’’ She felt awkward. ‘’ I didn’t know if you were awake or not. May I ask a question? I mean, it’s already a question, why are you always sleeping with a sheet on your face? Are you breathing correctly?’’

Ordo sighed and moved slightly to let her take a place near him.

‘’That’s multiple questions. Yes you can, why, to sleep well and yes, I have no problem breathing. Otherwise I would get a headache which would get in the way of me to sleeping well. ’’

‘’ Obviously. ‘’ She suspected she might not have been precise enough therefore she reformulated the question. Ordo had that tendency to take everything so literally. He was way more intelligent than her on so many levels but sometimes, he had the mind of a child. Which, to be fair, he was in a way, as a 14 years old clone.

‘’ Why does it help you to sleep better? The room isn’t dark enough? Is it because you are used to sleep with your helmet? ’’

The former Null ARC trooper let a sound come out of his lips. Besany didn’t know if it was from irritation or a chuckle.

‘’ I’m not sleeping with the bucket on. Only our vod Darman does that. And he is not the smartest of his squad. And for why I’m doing that, it’s my business. I don’t want to talk about it. ‘’

‘’ It’s alright, I respect that. As long at it makes you feel good, it’s all I need to know. ’’

Besany was used to his silence and she knew the Nulls had been through so many things in their short existence. She would probably never know all of it but what she learnt for Kal Skirata and the other Nulls was horrifying enough. She was happy to share her life with him nevertheless.

Then she carefully slipped under the blankets. His husband had a complicated arrangement of sheets with his arms and she didn’t want to disturb him. Even if she fully trusted him, Ordo’s feelings were hard to predict. They haven't slept together often since their Mandalorian wedding about a year ago. They were not totally accustomed to that new normality. Nothing could ever be normal with a clone anyway. Things always moved so fast even for her quick witty mind but especially with that exceptional man. She smiled sadly. She felt the need to be better at guessing his needs but she reminded herself that she didn’t have to understand him perfectly. She would never be. Even Skirata could't. She only had to accept him as he was. She heard him sighing again as he uncovered his face and sat.

‘’ It began on Kamino. Before Kal’buir. Like almost every osik to be honest…I took the habit of hiding my eyes from the never ending thunderstorm. But even when we got a soundproof room with no window, I kept doing it. It soothed me. The other Nulls didn't need to do that apparently. It took me time to realize that it was not only about that childhood trauma of live ordnances bombardment … ‘’

‘’Wait, before Kal Skirata you said?! You were like… Two standard years of age?’’

‘’Correct. It surely didn’t help my other disorders. I think I have sensory overload issues. In the daytime I can manage with the bucket, artificially control the inputs and keep my mind busy but I can’t rest that way. Things can get pretty intense. It’s like… all I didn’t manage, come back together at once. And I have a lot to manage. ’’

‘’ I see… it’s like if the sounds and lights come from your own mind? ’’

‘’Something like that, yes. The blanket helps me feel safe. I know, it must look weak to you, a childish thing…’’

‘’ Of course not, Ord’ika. It’s simple but if it works, that’s all good. You know, as a child I had a cuddly toy and even if I knew it wasn't a real animal, it made me feel safer too. I even talk to them. It helped me feel less lonely and the faux-fur also had a calming effect.’’

‘’ We didn’t have toys on Kamino. ’’

The woman looked at Ordo with tenderness.

‘’ I know sweetheart, but today… you have me? Can I come under your… fortified blanket? ’’

‘’ Why is that even a question? ’’

She looked at him not sure if she had crossed his boundaries too far but he finally smiled at her.

‘’ If I didn’t want you to be here, you wouldn’t be in my room at all. Come closer, cyar’ika.’’

Pressing her cheek to his chest, she felt Ordo replacing the duvet around the both of them, the sound went slightly muted, the darkness was appeasing. She felt privileged, cozy and yes, also safer. Maybe she would never fully understand him, but it seems he also struggled on his own as he tried his best to be a good husband to her. They both joined in the middle. She put her arms on his very athletic belly and kissed him softly.

‘’ It’s quite lovely, but it’s getting hot under it. ’’

‘’Believe me, it’s getting hotter than you think. ’’

Fi-Core/Nocturius 5th of Avril 2024 / Updated 14th of October