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bellyofkorea · 7 years ago

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Becoming a Local

Aside from working like crazy I’ve had some downtime to continue to explore my neighborhood. I’m starting to reap the benefits of familiarity and routine. I now know my favorite coffee shop, my favorite cheap lunch spot, the closest grocery store, and my favorite bar.

I always loved feeling like a local. There is something deeply satisfying about walking into an establishment, being recognized and greeted differently because of it. Weirdly, I’ve found that this time around in Korea people have decided that I look Korean enough to warrant me being spoken to and greeted in Korean. This has been oddly flattering, but mostly anxiety inducing because I hate the look on peoples faces when they realize I have no idea what they’re saying. Additionally, if the person speaks English, this only opens the door for them to ask me all sorts of questions about where I’m from and, of course, how old I am.

So becoming a “local” so to speak, in this area, has been really wonderful and helped me feel more at home in Seoul. The coffee shop has several young boys are baristas and they always giggle and shove the one guy who speaks English to wait on me. He always blushes and they all laugh more.

But, by far and away, my favorite find has been the bar. I don’t know the name of the bar because this place is so local that everything is in Korean. A lot of places in the busier or central areas have menus in both Korean and English, or at the very least photos that I can grunt and point to. This bar is literally half a block away from my Uncles and is thus located on a residential street. Almost everyone in there live locally, because I doubt anyone would find this bar otherwise.

It is small, with a wooden wrap around bar with about 12 stools. There are two tables in the “front” but otherwise it’s all about the bar area. The bar is self-service - meaning that when you walk in and find a spot to sit, you then get back up and walk over to the two tallboy refrigerators at the front and select your beer. The bartender then pulls down a clean glass and a bottle open for you.

There is also a menu with korean bar food. My first few times at the bar I was too intimidated to try and order anything because the menu is entirely in Korean, no pictures :(. However, I did eventually get to try some of the menu because I figured out that the bartender speaks perfect English and she is also always there - but that’ll be explained in a moment.

The bar also has bobble heads on display on all 3 exposed walls. There are a lot of them and they are vary in category - some Star Wars, some cartoons, some old school, etc. etc. This strange addition has given this bar a level of local quirkiness that charmed the shit out of me.

On my second visit there I went on a Saturday night. It was after my first real shift at Flower Child and my brain was buzzing with recipe ideas that I needed to write down and flesh out. I also think that I have a somewhat bad association with the end of a shift at a kitchen and badly wanting a nice cold one to ease the adrenaline or caffeine (or both) that I am amped up on.

I settled in and nursed a beer while writing. There were several other solo diners - mostly older men drinking heavily. There was one guy who had 13 empty beers lined up in front of him and he was working on his 14th while staring blankly into space. Koreans are funny about drinking - they’re either very chaste (my relatives don’t drink at all and if they do, it’s in very small amounts) or they’re wildly out of control (like these men at the bar).

One of the men kept glancing at me. Eventually he blurted out, “ARE YOU A TEACHER?” and the whole bar went silent and looked at me. I awkwardly laughed and said no. Everyone went back to their conversations, but with continual glances over at me. The man though was not sated with this answer and started digging. He was excited to speak English with me he said. He lived in Hawaii for 10 years. Wasn’t his English impressive? How old am I? Where am I from? Do I have a boyfriend?

As most women have learned from any experience of being female and alone at a bar - I employed various tactics to show that I was either 1, busy and extremely focused on something 2, texting someone, or 3, blatantly not interested in talking. I don’t think he was interested in me or thought he had any remote chance of getting my full attention, but I think he was drunk, lonely, and was having fun provoking me. He would not stop, even when I told him I was trying to work on some things and that I couldn’t really talk. Eventually I gave up and left. The bartender gave me a sad smile and told me I should come back when it wasn’t so busy - a hint/nod to her awareness of why I was leaving.

The next time I went the bartender greeted me enthusiastically. There was no one else in the bar - I had lucked out. I plopped down my bag and asked her to pick anything on the menu for me to try. I told her I was hungry and that I had been dying to try some of the menu but that I couldn’t read anything on it. She got very excited, although she acknowledged that she had overheard me mention that I was a chef and she was worried I would judge the food. I assured her that I’m not going to judge.

She sent me pork intestines sautéed with cabbage, onions, garlic, and korean spices and chili paste. It was amazingly simple and delicious. My mouth is watering just remembering it. While I ate we talked.

She told me that she never went anywhere to study English, that she just learned it in school. Her accent has a slight britishness to it, but otherwise it’s flawless. I told her as much and she blushed and fanned herself. She explained that she hasn’t spoken english in such a long time - that I’m the first foreign to walk into this bar. I was so surprised and yet delighted that I had truly stumbled into local territory. We talked at length - the way two people do who see the potential for a friendship emerging. She told me her Korean name but then gave me her english name - surprisingly the exact same name as the chef of Flower Child, Jamie. Although I wanted to use her Korean name, she insisted that I used her english name.

My fourth time going to the bar, there were a couple people at the bar, but otherwise quite. Jamie gave me another surprise item off the menu - this time chicken dumplings with an extremely spicy cole slaw. She also gave me, on the house, some fried chicken gizzards and a taste from a local brewery. We shared the drink and talked about the past couple days. Then, to both our dismay, the man from the night before stumbled in.

He yelled my name. He remembered every detail he had managed to get out of my from the other night. Jamie whispered “I’m sorry” before turning her attention to some other customers.

The man stared at me while taking shot after shot of soju. I ignored his stares and continued to talk to Jamie whenever she had a free moment. The subject turned to North Korea and several people tuned in for this convo.

Heres the thing - I’ve been very blunt about asking about North Korea with anyone. I want to know what the atmosphere is like and I’m assessing how worried I should be depending on how the locals feel.

My aunt, who was born and raised here has the mentality of bewildered apathy. She said she grew up with this looming monster of North Korean threats and that these recent ones are no different. I asked if she thinks theres any solution and she said no - thats why they’re still at a stalemate and that’s why nothing is going to happen this time around or any time in the future.

Jamie, the chef, and Inhee both had the same sentiments. They also feel like this is just the same posturing that has been happening for a long time. However, they do feel like it’s taken on a sinister turn only because of the US president, Donald Trump. Inhee said she’s mostly worried because she thinks Trump is more of a wild lunatic than North Korea. Jamie, the chef, pointed out to me that while people seem to think this is all old news, that is seems like people are scared. She has noticed a dramatic drop in customers to the restaurants. Additionally, it seems that across the board restaurants have been suffering. The theory is that those with enough money to be eating at fancy restaurants also have enough money to leave the country for an extended amount of time. Additionally, tourism is extremely down. There are definitely still tourists like me around, but it’s significantly less than normal.

At the bar, everyone seemed to express the same sentiments. They’re worried - but what can they do? Everyone said they hated Trump and worried about what he would do more than what North Korea will do. However, the drunk man announced “I like Trump!’ He then proceeded to slur together an explanation that made little sense. He said that as a man he understood Trump. He also said that because of his military training in Korea, he has a military mind so he understands Trump and thinks that it makes sense the escalations that Trump is making. This man, obviously drunk, was a stand alone on this stance and has been the first person I’ve met that supports Trump.

I left soon after that. The man bought himself another bottle of soju and went out for a cigarette. I asked Jamie if he was there often and she sadly said yes. She said he’s like that with everyone - but that she didn’t know he spoke english and that he was probably giving me more attention because he was excited to be showing off. I asked when he wasn’t there and she said the best times were earlier in the day - so I told her I’d see her next time sometime earlier in the day. We laughed and I went out.

In a week, Chris gets to Korea and the two of us are going to move to an Airbnb apartment located in a different neighborhood. I’m excited to get to learn a new neighborhood, especially because the one we’re headed to is more central in the city of Seoul with a lot more going on. However, I’m going to miss this area. It feels kind of suburban, despite being very urban. It’s been a great introduction to living in a foreign city and I feel very at home here now. Ultimately though, I’m excited to get the chance to do that same thing else where and find the local haunts in a new area of the city.

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just-shower-thots-responses · 8 years ago

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Bar Fight ((Underswap Drabble/Open Starter))

Papyrus was smoking out by his sentry, as usual when he got the call. Muffet usually didn't call during business hours, so he had a slight sense of concern when he saw her name on his phone, yet he didn't seem to rushed to answer. “Hello?”

“Papyrus, it's Muffet.”

“Muffet, I have caller I.D. on my phone, I know it's you. What's up?”

“Could you keep an eye on the shop for me for a little while?” That definitely got his attention, forcing him to remove the cigarette from his teeth as he sat up, suddenly leaning on his shed. “Is everything alright?”

“Yes yes, I just need to take Danish to the Vet ER.”

“What?!”

“He's fine, he just swallowed something he shouldn't have. Normally I'd just leave the shop to my spiders, but it's getting close to night hours, and I need someone to keep an eye on the place.” “Why me and not Sans?”

“Do you really want to leave your brother that close to the sweets, unsupervised?”

“Point taken.” He sighed, putting the cigarette back in his mouth. “Can you please do this for me, Paps?” Muffet begged on the other line. Paps pulled the cigarette back out, puffing out the smoke.

“I dunno, I did kinda have plans...” Said plans merely consisted of harassing his brother online by sending him puns to his ask. Always a good time. “I'll give you free alcohol for the rest of the night.”

“Wait, seriously?!” “Yes, but you need to come as quickly as possible.” “Alright. It's a deal.” He nodded. “I'm on my way, but I gotta text Sans so he doesn't freak out.”

“Alright. I'll get everything set up for you to serve the alcohol. See you soon, Muffin Top.” Papyrus couldn't help but blush at the nickname.

“Muffet.” He whined. “We talked about this.”

“You're still my adopted son. I can call you whatever I want, deary.”

“Goodbye, Muffet!”

“Ahuhuhuhu!” She giggled before Paps hung up. He stood up, breathing in the last of his cig before throwing it on the ground behind his station. He started walking towards Muffets, texting Sans as he traveled through Snowdin.

“going to watch muffets for a while. ill be home whenever.” It didn't take long for Sans to text back.

“PAPYRUS! YOU CAN'T LEAVE IN THE MIDDLE OF WORK!!”

“she asked me to bro. she has to go to the capital for a bit so she wont be able to keep an eye on things during the night hours.”

“WHAT? TO THE CAPITAL? DID SOMETHING HAPPEN?”

“danish apparently swallowed something bad for him but hes gonna be alright. she just has to get him into the vet er today.”

“OH MY GOD!!”

“ill be home whenever. ill keep you posted on danishs status tho.”

“OKAY. BUT JUST BE CAREFUL PAPS.”

“will do”

By the time Papyrus had gotten to Muffet's, the night hours were just about to start. When he walked in, Danish had already been whining in his cage, while Muffet's spiders were helping her bundle up. “Pappy, dear! Thank you for coming on such short notice.” “Hey, Muffet. What all do ya need me to do?” He asked, sitting kneeling down to look at poor, frightened Danish. “Hey buddy, you alright?” He asked, noting how the poor pet didn't have nearly as much energy and zeal to try to escape as he usually did when he was placed in a cage. Danish merely whined a response, prompting the skeleton to reach his hand in the cage and comfort the pastry pet. “There's not much for you to do. I've already gotten everything set up for the most part, and the spider's will take care of everything for you.” “Then why do you need me here?”He asked, removing his bony hand from the cage.

“All you need to do is watch over the people here, and make sure nobody gets into fights, the place doesn't catch on fire, etc. Just make sure nobody gets hurt and nothing gets broken.” She informed, grabbing her purse. “Okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, I get it.”

“You may have one drink while I'm gone.” She told him, holding up an index finger, as if to stress the point.

“Just one?! But you said-”

“I said I'd give you free drinks for the rest of the night. That starts once I get back to supervise you!”

“Muffet, I'm twenty-four! I-”

“Yet you still can't drink responsibly.” She scolded. “Sweetie, you need to keep your wits about you when you watch over the shop. I don't want anyone getting hurt, least of all you!”

“Alright, alright, fine.” He conceded, not too happy about the limitation in drinks.

“One drink. That's it. And trust me, I will know if you have more than that.” She warned, picking up Danish's cage. “I love you.”

“Love you too, Muffet.” He said, giving her a quick hug. “Be safe, okay? Don't get too cold out there.” Muffet gave the skeleton a quick peck on his cheekbone,before heading out the door.

“I won't.” She reassured as Papyrus handed her the scarf she nearly left on the table. “I'll be back in about four hours if the elevator's working. Five if the ER is busy.” She informed as she walked out the door.

As soon as she left, Papyrus slumped down into his usual spot at the bar. It was too early to drink, so he just sat at the bar with his honey, sipping away at the squeezy bottle, eyeing and considering the drinks that he'd try later. One particular bottle that he'd had been meaning to try for almost a year now. Paps watched the costumers fill in, getting their drinks from the spiders, which wasn't too uncommon, Muffet usually just took the orders and washed the glasses during these hours. He had to admit that he was incredibly bored without anyone to talk to, so he shot a few texts to Undyne, but he got no response. It didn't take him long to shoot a text to his brother.

“this is boring.” He took another sip from his squeezy bottle, but only to find that it was empty. He started to consider having that drink when a spider gave him a new bottle of honey that was shaped like a little teddy bear. He quickly recognized this particular spider, and him a smile. “Thanks, Gerald.” He said, holding out his hand for Gerald to crawl in, affectionately.

Although, he got scared and ran away when Paps' phone went off when Sans texted him back.

“HOW CAN YOU BE BORED, BROTHER? YOU LOVE MUFFET'S.” He sighed.

“you scared gerald.” He sent, already working on his explanation. “and im bored because theres no one to talk to. i love talking to muffet but shes not here and im boooorrreeeedddd!”

“OOPS TELL HIM I'M SORRY!” Sans texted back, sending another text as soon as he got Paps' other message. “DO YOU WANT ME TO COME OVER? I'M WITH ALPHYS RIGHT NOW, BUT I CAN HEAD OVER AFTER MY LESSONS.”

“nah bro. i know how much your show means to you and I wouldnt want you to miss it. but I wouldnt mind the company after napstons show.”

“ARE YOU SURE, BROTHER? IT'S A TWO-HOUR SPECIAL.”

“then forget it. muffet should be back by then anyway. ill see you when i see you.”

“OKAY...”

“i promise you its fine bro. ill tell reginald you said hi.”

“OKAY. SEE YOU TONIGHT!” Well that bought him some entertainment for a few minutes.

He checked for new messages from Undyne, but frowned when he saw none. It worried him.

“hey fish face you okay?” She could have just been busy, but there had been days were she'd seemed a bit hopeless... He checked the clock on his phone. Eleven thirty.

“Alright. It's as good a time as ever, I guess.” He grinned. He decided to try that bottle on the top shelf. “Hey, Gerald. Can you hand me that bottle up there?” He asked, pointing to the desired booze. The spider happily scurried up the wall and carefully slid the bottle down the web, letting Papyrus grab the heavy bottle about half-way to the counter. “Thanks, pal. Now let's see the alcohol content.” He said, with every intention of heeding Muffet's orders. He squinted his eyes, trying to read the fine print on the bottle,but to no avail. If he wanted to read the contents, he'd need to wear his glasses. 'Not worth it', he thought. He grabbed himself a tall beer glass, and put his hand on the top of the bottle, ready to twist it open, when a spider waved his arms for Papyrus to stop. “What's the matter?” He asked. The spider shook an arm, as if to say no. “Oh lay off, Reginald. You're such a buzz kill.” He says, twisting the cap off, and pouring the bottle's contents into the glass. Muffet said he could have one drink, but she never said what size after all. “I'm sure it can't be that bad.” He smiled, bringing the glass in close to drink from it. He'd had a high alcohol tolerance from drinking so much since high school. “Oh, and Sans says hi.” He took a sip, and his eye sockets widened, he nearly choked, feeling the alcohol's strength. “Wooo boy, that's a bit stronger than I expected.” He admitted, but it tasted really good. A bit more on the bitter side, but it was surprisingly tasty in his opinion, as someone who liked sweet drinks much more. He couldn't help but take another sip, a bit bigger than the last, and a bit more satisfying as well. He gave a drunken chuckle, the effects of the strong booze already taking effect on the skeleton, who hadn't eaten since lunch. Even to someone who hadn't grown up with the spider, anyone could tell that he face palmed.

Shortly after, a figure came over and sat next to Pap.

“So, you still hang around here?”

“Oh, hey Crash!” He chimed, clearly drunk, otherwise he wouldn't have greeted him so happily. Crash was an old friend of his in high school. More specifically, he was the lead guitarist in their old band. But they had a huge fight two months before they graduated, and Paps quit the band, leaving X Bones without a drummer, or a skeleton.

“Wow, you seem pretty drunk. Can I get whatever the fuck he's got?” The spider visibly sighed, almost deflating as he grabbed the glass that was intended for such a drink, an average shot glass. “No way, I want it in that glass.”

“Ooooh boy, I wouldn't buddy. This stuff's really strong!” Papyrus warned, already slurring his words. “In fact, you can just have the rest of this.” He said, sliding the half-empty beer glass his way. Normally he wouldn't give up such a good drink, but he was just barely sober enough to remember that he needed to be just a bit responsible.

“Wow, thanks, old buddy. How's it taste?”

“Oh my God, it's so good!!” He praised, seemingly forgetting why exactly he stopped hanging around Crash, who quickly took a gulp of the drink.

“Holy shit, you weren't kidding about the strength. But this shit is good though.”

“Right? So how's Mae? Last time I saw you, you guys were dating?” Papyrus slurred.

“Mae's just as beautiful as she was in high school. Why, still jealous?”

“Nah, dude. I'm content with my family.”

“Hahaha! Right. You still a virgin?”

“Shut the fuck up.”

“And how's your stupid brother? Still a wet blanket?” Papyrus suddenly gave the other a glare.

“Sans is not a wet blanket.”

“Oh, so he's drinking now?” Papyrus was quiet for a second.

“Lemme rephrase. He never was a wet blanket. He was just smarter than the dumbasses who decided to start smoking in the first place.”

“Wow, you really haven't changed have you?” Crash laughed. “So my guess is that you've quit? How fucking lame.” Paps blushed, absolutely humiliated at the fact that he hadn't.

“Sh-shut up! You're the asshole that got me addicted in the first place!”

“Ahahahahaha! So you haven't yet?! And you're getting mad at me?” He took another gulp of his booze. “And is your brother still an idiot who doesn't understand this world?”

“Shut the fuck up! My brother is not stupid!!”

“Paps, c'mon. I've seen your brother. He is a complete dumbass.” Paps stood, forming a small bone bullet in his fist, but did nothing else. However, he kept the bone in his hand. It was all he could do to stop himself from firing the Gaster Blasters.

“Listen to me: My brother is not a dumbass. He was smart enough to not get addicted to drugs, or to smoking, or to drinking. He probably has more intelligence in his phalanges than you do in your entire body. Now, if you're as smart as you claim, you'll get out of this bar.”

“Are you threatening me?” Crash growled. “Because your brother is not as smart as you think, whether you like it or not. After all, he did have the cigarette in his hand.”

“That's it. It's not an option anymore. Get out of the bar. Now!”

“Heh heh heh heh heh! What are you gonna do about it, hm?” Papyrus grabbed Crash's wrist, very forcefully, and started dragging him towards the door. Crash, didn't take too kindly to this, and used a magic attack to scratch his skull, grabbing the attention of everyone else in the bar. “Let go of me! What right do you have?!”

“The right that I am the owner's son. And she left me in charge. And I'm kicking you out!”

“The owner's son?! That's a laugh! She's not your real mom, and you know it.” Paps grabbed his other arm forcefully, and tried to put them behind his back, but Crash merely broke free, and punched him in the chest, knocking the skeleton over. Papyrus quickly stood up, angry and fueled by the whiskey. He was through playing around. He threw a punch to his shoulder, sinking nearly all of his weight into his fist, hitting his shoulder. Crash, who was clearly much better at fighting, threw a direct punch to his spine, forcing Paps to keel over. He spawned three bones, and hurled them at Crash, who couldn't get out of the way in time. Crash merely threw out a needle attack, several of the syringe bullets piercing Papyrus' bones, forcing him to yelp in pain. Whether he liked it or not, Crash was a heavy hitter, so Paps quickly realized that he couldn't take anymore hits like that. He pulled the needles out, ignoring the blood that the pricks left. Bones lined up behind him. “Get out of this bar, jack ass!” He screamed, flinging the bones his way.

“Make me!” Crash snarled, showing his fangs, as he ducked down on all fours, lunging at the skeleton, and letting his bone attacks hit and destroy the table behind him. Paps made a row of blue bones, and stepped out of the way, only hurting Crash more, as he was unable to stop in mid air. “How did you-”

“Last warning. Get. Out.” Paps warned, spawning another bone in his hand. Crash suddenly lunged at Paps again, pinning the skeleton he knocked over to the ground. He began repeatedly punching him, almost mercilessly, before Papyrus managed to grab a hold of the bone he dropped, and knock him in the side of the head. He quickly stood, panting and feeling the cuts and bruises on his skull. He looked down at his hand, noting the blood on his hand, which only freaked him out, reminding him of his final moments in Judgment Hall. He quickly looked down at Crash, who he'd just knocked out. “...Shit...” He felt really bad. About everything that just happened. “S-sorry guys...Muffet's gonna be pissed.” HE said to the Spiders, who'd all gone into hiding since the fight began.

Crash suddenly stood, pissed as hell. “Just get out of here, okay. I don't want anyone else to get hurt!” Crash growled, bleeding heavily from the head. Saying nothing he punched Papyrus dead in the face, knocking him out. Once he was on the ground, he finished off his whiskey, and stumbled out of the bar, taking the glass with him.

The spiders quickly scurried around, panicking as they tried to rush everyone out and close the bar. They wouldn't be able to contact Muffet, and they couldn't speak on the phone, yet still they tried to call Sans in the hopes that he would realize something was wrong and come over.

#Underswap #Bar Fight #Neutral Ending #Violence #Open Starter #Drabble

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viralhottopics · 8 years ago

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Ros Comes In 40s Now, So Get Ready To Black Out In Broad Daylight

If you thought that drinking 40s was left to your high school partying days (you know, before your metabolism went to shit), then think again because 40s of ros are now totally a thing, and just in time for summer. A new company called Forty Ounce Wines (very creative naming) has released a new 40s of ros that they claim are organically farmed, spectacular tasting, large format wines. They currently offer two types of wines, Muscadet (a French white) and ros, which is obvi the star of the show. Honestly this opens up so many possibilities for white girls everywhere. Like, is doing Edward 40 Hands going to come back into our lives like its 2005 again? Will you start seeing groups of white girls in Lululemon standing on street corners and pouring out a little bit of ros for the basic bitches weve lost? Only time will tell.

This is obviously going to become a staple of the summer. What better way to walk into a party and establish that you are the HBBIC (head basic bitch in charge) than to have one, dare I say, TWO pink 40s full of sweet pink alcohol? Anyone who sees that and questions your dedication to basic-ness is seriously disturbed. All youd have to then is start talking to anyone who will listen about how you ordered a big salad at Cheesecake Factory yesterday and find a way to casually display the little star tattoo on your foot and youll probably be appointed to the ICBAInternational Council On Basic Affairs.

Obviously, youre going to need time to adjust to this important wine development. How does this stack up in comparison to the 250k other ways you already know of to consume ros? Should you convert to ros 40s only, or should you attempt to maintain even some semblance of dignity in your life? Here are all the various ways one can consume ros, to ensure that you pick the best one for your personal, and very basic, lifestyle:

1. Buy It By The Bottle

So, this is a no brainer. If you want ros, you could always just buy a bottle of ros. Its a fairly simple concept. Of course, one bottle of ros does not traditionally go a long way. I mean, I think we all know that one person can consume a bottle of ros fairly easily over brunch (and go on to have a pretty fucked up Sunday afternoon) so remember that if youre planning to share your stash, more than one bottle will likely be necessary. You could also buy one of those giant bottles, but then youll need to make sure you have an SO or some sad-ass friendzoned guy friend around to carry it for you. What if you reach for your phone to answer an important text and drop it? Then theres no ros for anyone, and thats a goddamn tragedy.

2. Subscribe To A Ros Delivery Service

If you love ros and are the laziest person on the face of the Earth, you can have ros delivered directly to your door, and the best part is that the bottles are magnums meaning that they are equal to two normal size bottles of ros. Membership to The Summer Water Societ is a very bougie way of letting people know that you are devot to the church of ros, and must have access to it at all times. Also, each month they send you cool swag like Societ hats, water bottles, and beach towels so everybody knows where you stand when it comes to drinking pink wine.

3. Get Into Boxed Ros

Move the fuck over Franzia, because boxed ros is here and its actually like, kind of good. Two companies, Les Vignerons dEstzargues and VRAC will provide you with boxes of ros all the way from France for around $30. Thats basically spending $30 on four really good bottles of ros, despite the fact that they do come in a box and look like hobo wine you made under your bed. Buying this boxed ros is a great way to signal to your friend group that, when it comes to your most beloved wine variety, you are more about quality than appearing like you have any respect for yourself.

4. Casually Sip Ros From A Can

If youve ever wanted to spend an entire day low-key sipping on ros without having to carry a bottle (or a box) around with you, canned ros is the way to go. Uncorked offers a 4 pack of Seven Daughters ros for just $17.99, which is a steal when you realize that each can is equal to two glasses of ros. The cans are also very sleekn and kind of look like energy drinks, so you could totally sip them in public next to a police station and nobody would notice. Not that were saying you should do that, but also you should totally do that.

5. Be That Person With A 40 Ounce Wine

As we previously discussed, 40s of ros are now an option, and if you want to claim the 40 Ounce Ros Girl title for yourself, then by all means do so. Just be sure to figure out how youll eventually explain all the pics of you double fisting wine 40s to your children.

40 Oz. to Freedom. @fortyouncewines #genius #sublime #yeswayros

A post shared by Yes Way Ros (@yeswayrose) on

Apr 5, 2017 at 12:05pm PDT

6. Make Your Own

If youre one of those DIY betches with the ability to actually complete a Pinterest project, a make your own ros kit may be right for you. The bag claims that the kit makes over 30 bottles of wine in just one hour, which is a fuckton of ros until you consider that only the most advanced DIY-er will probably walk away from this project with thirty drinkable bottles. For those of us who can barely follow microwave popcorn instructions, the make-your-own-ros kit will most likely result in a very questionable looking pink goo that will end up killing your friend Becca when she gets drunk enough on store bought ros to try it.