#Only one thing there's nothing else to live for. as if ari wouldnt welcome back her daughter after whatever stupid shit she would do GIRL!! | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

deadrlngers · 2 years ago

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i think the Thing that makes vhanya's tragedy so..tragic to me is her youth. but not in a 'omg dying young, she had so much to live :(' which is. well rip to her. but more like every single mistake she does is in a way..normal. like mistakes you do when you're a teen and are sooo dumb but make you learn and they shouldn't weight too much or more like. they shouldn't have you pay a too expensive price. while vhanya's mistakes aren't looked at with kindness, there's no Understanding. she walks around with her rage and tears like she's screaming "i'm still learning!! don't i deserve some kindness?" and instead of a "it's okay that you fucked up, we can fix this" it's mistakes that shape forever her future without any way to rewind and idk it gets me </3

#rena.txt #like does she fuck up? YEA. the betrayal and the mistakes that come from a first love and shit and stuff. like yea she takes.. questionable #choices and her behaviour isn't the best at times but lord doesn't she deserve a bit of understanding? she's angry and angry and ANGRY at #her mother that (in her opinion) looks down on her and doesn't love her and probably vhanya thinks ari considers her as her greatest #disappointment. and that's when the rage takes control and she screams and threatens and all of that shit but then sadness settles and #she's falling down and asking her mother to please forgive her. like SHE'S LEARNING SHE MAKES STUPID SHIT. WELL YEA WHO HASN'T DONE STUPID #SHIT AS A TEEN!! and then belonging. god she only ever wanted to belong somewhere but she always ended up being estranged? not a black not #a green not her mother's side not her family. she tries to find her place in a world where she feels like isn't made for her. which is why #when aemond dies </3 she's just like. i thought i found a place but to follow this idea i lost everything else and now that i lost that #Only one thing there's nothing else to live for. as if ari wouldnt welcome back her daughter after whatever stupid shit she would do GIRL!!#AND LIKE THE IDEA ITSELF that she convinced herself that was her Place finally. a first love. dumb and stupid the kind of probably doesn't #last but you remember it and she's like THAT'S EVERYTHING i will ever have in life and now that is gone it makes no sense to be alive.#there's only emptiness. brrr IDK I'M LOSING IT. SHE'S DUMB BUT ALSO SHE HAS THE RIGHT TO BE. ME @ ME: U CATCH MY DRIFT #in the words of my bestest bestie moravia who wrote about alienation in a way that spoke to me through my whole teen years: 'desire for #normality; a longing to adapt to some recognized and general rule; a wish to be like everyone else from the moment that being different #meant being guilty.' FUCKING DEAD ON THIS SUNDAY MORNING

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