#One must imagine cas happy and in a hoodie

[daily-castiel]

Day 17

[poohkeepsee]

I was going through my AO3 bookmarks, and I wanted to organize them a little bit. These are my Dean/Cas canon-ish fic recs.

season 5

canticles  by  2street2car Words: 10,311     Chapters: 1

“But you know something? If I couldn’t get you laid, at least I gave you a good first date.”feat: footsies at a Ruby Tuesday, stargazing, the recreation of an iconic "Dirty Dancing" scene (no, not that one—the other one), and practicing for When You're With A Girl.

FTBYAM MY BELOVED

post season 6

Someone Who's Feeling For Me  by  ellispark  Words: 45,876     Chapters: 1

Dean sees her for the first time in nearly six years in some no-name town in Idaho, and it's panic at first sight.

Lisa Braeden, the one woman Dean ever actually had a shot at a real life with, back from where he buried her in his mind. And her hand is on Cas's arm like it's no big deal, like it belongs there. Cas, Dean's dorky, sweet, badass, angelic best friend, and he's just standing there next to Lisa and not moving her hand away.

Dean feels the jealousy rising, and it's not directed where he expected it to be. Because it takes this exact moment for Dean to realize he's in love with his best friend. He's in love with his best friend, and Lisa is looking at Cas like he's the best thing since automatic rifles, and Dean is utterly fucked.

post bunker

Sun Can't Set Until Nine  by  LeverDrift Words: 67,939     Chapters: 16

Cas moves into the bunker as his powers start to fail. Dean doesn’t know if the arrangement is as permanent as he wants it to be. He's also not sure why he keeps dreaming about his friend. All he knows is that he wants Cas to stay. Overall warnings: canon-typical miscommunication & Dean having self-hatred issues.

Life Skills  by  ilovehowyouletmefall           Words: 26,052     Chapters: 3

After Metatron steals Castiel's grace, and Cas comes to live in the bunker, Dean spends a lot of time with him, sharing all of his favourite things. Dean can't help it if sharing things with Cas just makes everything better. Besides, it's Dean's job as Cas' friend to introduce him to the joys of human life. To teach him how to be human.  And if one of the experiences they end up sharing is sex with women, well... that's just part of Dean's job as Cas' friend too, right? The desire is triangulated, the rituals are intricate.

Sam Stole My Boyfriend  by  sobsicles    Words: 8,445     Chapters: 1

“Dude, you’ve been staring at me a lot lately, like even enough that Sam noticed. More than usual. So, like, what’s up?” Dean pauses, purses his lips and reconsiders. “What did I do?”

Cas knows that would be a perfect time to confess to Dean what exactly happened and what he was thinking. Maybe, Dean had some insight into the situation or even some kind of comfort to offer. But, the longer that he sat there, he realized that he could not tell Dean absolutely anything. So instead, for the first time, Cas fumbled.

“Um,” Cas mutters and abruptly stands. “Freckles?”

Dean blinked up at him as Cas pivoted and left the room. There was only one remaining option he had and unfortunately, it involved Sam.

Aching in the Absence of You  by  sobsicles Words: 95,090     Chapters: 10

Brittle and battle-worn, Cas looks at him over coffee one morning and says, "I need to go," and Dean instantly knows that he's not coming back.

He's not really sure how he knows it, but he does. It settles into the pit of his stomach, curling hot and tight like something he instinctively wants to tear out with his bare hands. He takes a breath, and it gets stuck in his throat, hitching there. It hurts, hurts, hurts when he finally exhales.

"Yeah," Dean says, "of course you do," and he nods jerkily as he looks down at his phone. He doesn't say goodbye. He doesn't look up from the screen when Cas gets up and leaves the room. He doesn't finish his coffee, or move for a long time.

By nightfall, Cas is gone.

'Communication'  by  JustAnotherSamlicker Words: 11,656

The same story told from two perspectives.

Dean bought a house and he and Cas fix it up.

Is Dean moving out? Is Cas moving in?

Should they just talk to each other already? (Yes they should)

Build a Home  by  domesticadventures Words: 20,102

After they save the world, Dean expects Cas to come back to the bunker with them.

He doesn't

season 10

The Most Important Thing  by  NorthernSparrow Words: 94,462     Chapters: 14

Jimmy Novak remembers nothing of the last six years. Reunited with his troubled daughter Claire, he's struggling to raise her on his own. The most important thing is to make Claire happy. But why does he keep having these dreams of wings, and of two men in a black car? (Canon-divergent from S10E11, when we first met Claire again and Dean was still struggling with the Mark of Cain. Takes places several months later).

season 12

Heroes for Ghosts  by  pantheon_of_discord Words: 42,922     Chapters: 7

Canon-divergent from 12.08

After Sam and Dean are arrested, Castiel is left alone and scrambling to find them. He knows they’re locked away in a government facility, and he’s still able to hear their prayers, but no matter how he tries Castiel can’t seem to track them. He chases leads and even attempts to hunt on his own, but Mary is AWOL, Crowley refuses to help, and Castiel’s options are running out.

Weeks pass, Castiel’s hope dwindles, and through it all Dean prays, keeping them connected. His voice is comforting, frustrating, and occasionally annoying, but in his solitude Castiel comes to cherish it. But then one day, without warning, Dean stops praying, and Castiel is forced to confront some uncomfortable truths about his feelings.

season 13

i want to do with you (what spring does with cherry trees)  by  sobsicles   Words: 74,173     Chapters: 8

Dean keeps going back.

When he arrives, it's always to blooming flowers and a windmill in the background, not too far from a brook, the sun painting the plains.

He likes it there. He likes to stand in front of the makeshift urn and check that it's still where he put it, switching out the flowers when they wilt. He likes to listen to the sound of birds chirping, insects singing, the faint sound of water trickling in the distance. He likes to turn his face up and feel the sun on his skin, wondering if Cas would do the same if he were here, somehow knowing that he would.

He likes to talk.

There's never a response, but Dean feels the breeze rustle through his hair and watches the flowers bob when bees come to them and stares as the windmill keeps turning, turning, turning. And he imagines that Cas is replying—the windmill is the tilted head, the bobbing flowers are a gentle smile, the breeze is whatever words Dean wants to hear at the time.

Sometimes, it's almost like he's there.

Trial and Tribulations of Raising a Nephilim  by  Sickandtiredofyou Words: 14,910   Chapters: 6

Dean has far too much on his plate, losing his mom, his best friend and now being a single parent to a newborn nephilim.

In which Jack is an actual newborn instead of a teenager.

post season 13

dumbassery, denial, doing (the three d's to the destination)  by  sobsicles           Words:     108,427     Chapters:     4

Freedom is just one adjustment after the next.

Cas hums again. "I think you already have. It's been months since everything settled. All that's left to do is...get used to it, and perhaps—" His voice stalls out, uncharacteristically, and his gaze roams Dean's face with intensity. When he speaks next, his tone is a little raw. "Perhaps what one does with peace is...whatever they want."

"What if I don't even know what that is?" Dean grumbles, arching an eyebrow in challenge. "'Cause I know damn well you don't just mean good food and a good bed and time in Baby, not simple wants like that. You mean—ya know, the big things, the wants we didn't get to have before."

"Yes," Cas agrees. "If you're not sure, figure it out."

"Easier said than done."

Reasons to read this:

Dean reads a story that ends like despair and his reaction is FUCK THAT

Cas wears Dean's hoodie

Jack is a toddler

The Jack and Claire sibling energy we deserve

Eileen being awesome and pulling pranks with Dean while Sam thinks she's an angel

Sam knows

YOUR HONOR THEY'RE IN LOVE

First Date  by  aeli_kindara Words: 8,968    Chapters: 1

“We should go on a date. You and me.”

Castiel wishes he could see Dean’s face. He wishes he had any idea what to say.

“I’m asking you out, Cas.”

Also known as the Dean Winchester makes the first move fic.

season 14

Broken Road  by  thegeminisage Words:     109,629     Chapters:     7

A 14.13 Lebanon rewrite. When Dean uses a wish-granting pearl to try and kill the archangel Michael before he can escape the cage in Dean's head, they instead wind up with a newly-resurrected John Winchester.

It's been more than a decade since John died, and a lot has changed: Mary is alive, Sam and Dean have what passes for a proper home in the Men of Letters Bunker, and they're living with angels. John doesn't know angels are real, he doesn't know about the fragile new relationship between Dean and Castiel, and most of all, he doesn't know that Dean said yes to Michael, or that Dean's plan to defeat Michael would send him to a fate worse than death.

Now Dean must contend with both his father asking questions he can't answer, and his loved ones learning about the darker truths of his childhood, all while constantly battling the archangel trapped inside him. But Dean coming to terms with his history may be the difference between this being the beginning of a journey—or the end.

post season 15

fools and pilgrims  by  lagaudiere Words: 31,904     Chapters: 2

Claire shows up at the bunker a day before Dean was planning to leave, with her hair cut short and a fresh tattoo on her left arm under a bandage. Chuck is dead, Jack has given up his godlike powers, and Cas is back from the Empty, which doesn't make it any easier for Dean to talk to him. Suddenly finding himself in a world without monsters, supernatural forces, or any need for hunters, Dean's solution is to go on a road trip. Claire tags along.

Dean-Claire mirror fic post Despair

what's missing is found (our souls can exhale now)  by  sobsicles Words: 27,403

It's not the first time Claire has ever gone missing. It is, however, the first time Kaia panics about it. Dean's dragged into the mess, but he soon finds that it's the best thing that could have happened to him.

canon(?) au  (Hunters and Men of Letters)

Dean Winchester's Secret (Angel) Boyfriend  by  reluctantabandon, Winter_of_our_Discontent Words: 11,191     Chapters: 1

Dean Winchester isn't exactly a team player. So when he starts mentioning a new Hunting partner, Ellen and Jo Harvelle aren't sure whether they should be worried or relieved.

But they're starting to get the feeling there's something important Dean's not telling them about Cas...

Shot Through The Heart  by  peanutbutterjelly-pie (Aleakim) Words: 11,191     Chapters: 1

Dean is a hunter.

Castiel is a Man of Letters.

And even though they have to work together on a regular basis, there is not much sympathy between them. Castiel thinks Dean too brash and reckless while Dean in return sees nothing more in the other man than a rude asshole with an obsessive love for books and a truly terrible fashion sense.

But fate clearly has a funny way of throwing those two together over and over again.

And somewhere along the way feelings change into something neither of them would have expected.

[cheeseburgersstuff]

Same Old  Love

•Steve Rogers x Reader

Warnings: language, mistakes, shitty writing... 💕 (I suck with titles) 

master-list

~

It's my babe's birthday!!! @heyiamthatbitch ❤❤ This is from me and my twinie!! She helped me with this idea!!! @lookiamtrying 👀💕💫

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ALEX!! I hope you get ruined by this man ,in your dreams!! 👀🤣

(gifsnotmine)

The compound was silent which felt weird because it never got quiet there, ever. I looked around to see where everyone was. Well everyone but my lovely boyfriend.

He was sent on a mission for two months and I didn't have any idea when he was going to come back.

First I thought maybe he would be back by my birthday but no he still wasn't back which ruined my whole day.

I walked towards the lab, maybe Tony could tell something about him.

"Um...hey tony" he looked up from whatever he was doing. "Hey, sweet cheeks what do you want?" I flinched at the nickname. I hated it but bit my tongue.

I opened my mouth to ask about Steve when he cut me off. "Lemme guess. It's about spangles again? I already told you NO!! I don't know anything about him, now go let me do my work" 

He said, gesturing me away with his hand. This made me feel worse and before I knew it, I grabbed a metal container and threw it towards his head. That I feel a bit better.

"Ouch. What the hell y/n..." 

I walked out before he could finish. 

Then I asked FRIDAY about nat and went to the gym, where she was sparring.

"Nat" she turned around hearing my voice and sighed. 

"Not now y/n, I'm pretty busy here" I stopped walking towards her and looked at her with shocked expressions.

What was wrong with everyone, they were acting so distant. No one even wished me. 

I felt tears coming out of my eyes. But I brushed them off instantly, no way I was gonna cry for these shits.

I grabbed my hoodie and went outside to walk in the fresh air. If they are bothered by my presence, I also need them either.

No one, not even Steve. But I can celebrate alone.

I know I was acting childish but I was fucking sad.

Two hours passed and still, I was mad at everyone. My legs started to hurt by running continuously but I didn't stop.

When it started to get dark, I decided to go back but I made sure not to interact with anyone and head straight towards my room. 

~

"It's been hours and she is still not here" Tony whined looking towards the cake he wanted to taste bad.

"She must be coming back now" Steve smiled knowing well of the frown covering his girl's face.

"How do you know…." Tony was about to ask but Nat shut him off.

"Shh...I think she is here"

_____

The living room was dark when she came back, she didn't turn on the lights and started to walk towards her room.

Everyone got confused when the lights didn't turn on.

Everyone but Steve, he knew what she was doing.

Suddenly the lights turned on and everyone yelled a surprise making her jerk with shock. 

She looked at everyone with a stupid smile on her face. 

A pair of hands wrapped around her waist, "happy birthday babe"

He whispered in her ear from behind.

Y/n turned around to face him.

"You are back" she whispered, feeling the tears coming again.

"Couldn't miss my best girl's birthday" he kissed her forehead.

"We are here as well, love birds," she turned and walked towards them.

"Happy Birthday y/n/n I'm sorry for acting like that earlier" nat said pulling her into a hug.

"It's okay. I cursed you all well enough, so we are even now" she chuckled. 

"Happy Birthday sweet cheeks, now can you cut this yummy cake, so we all ca…" suddenly tony stopped and everyone gasped.

Y/n frowned and turned to see what happened.

Her breath hitched seeing him kneeling in front of her.

He looked into her eyes, a goofy smile covering his face. But she knew he was nervous.

“y/n I... I can’t imagine a single day without you. I want to see your face every day when I wake up. I wanna start my day with your beautiful voice when you sing while making breakfast, not knowing I am always standing there, right behind you. y/n I know our lives are tough but I want to make it bearable with you. So y/f/n  would you make me the happiest man alive? Will, you marry me?” 

His eyes were shining with hope and tears.

“Yes,” you nodded, letting your tears fall. 

Everyone cheered when he placed the ring on your finger. You both kept looking at each other ignoring the world around you. 

“Um… can we have the cake now?” you sighed hearing the desperate voice. You gave tony an annoyed look before walking towards your cake. 

“Happybirthdaytoyou…” everyone sang trying to pull out the highest notes but failed miserably. You chuckled at their beautiful voice. These were the people you were cursing a few hours ago, thinking they never cared about you. Oh, how wrong were you about them!

“Don’t you wanna give us some of it” Steve whispered in your ear bringing you out of your thoughts. 

You chuckled, “hmm… I will give it to them but for you, I have something else in my mind.” you said biting your lip. 

“Well, I can’t wait for whatever you have in your mind.”  his voice making you shudder with excitement. 

“I think you guys should go to the bedroom now, you can handle all this stuff” 

And that night you indeed gave him something else than usual, told him how much you love him…  

.

.

.

@donutloverxo​ 

[bartzechariah]

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[sosa-sketch]

Fright or Flight: Chapter 4

Parings: Prinxiety // Logicality // Platonic LAMP

Story Summary: Virgil and Patton investigate the New Prince Castle, when a brutal accident kills Patton. Patton wakes as a ghost and meets friendly ghoul Roman, who has been haunting the castle for 20 years. Virgil is determined to bring Patton back to life and brings Logan, the ghost expert, to help him out. Time is quickly running out, and the four must work together to undo death. If only it was as simple as Logan made it sound.

Unknown to them, a secret entity in the castle does not plan on letting them succeed.

First Chapter    Previous Chapter

To Patton’s surprise, he loved the woods! The chirping sounds of birds and the scurrying of fluffy critters excited him as he matched his pace to the bubbly gurgling of the creek hidden beyond the trees. It was calming and serene. Pacifying enough to get his mind off their final destination.

Virgil, on the other hand, disagreed with Patton’s five star forest Yelp review.

“Are we there yet?” Virgil groaned, dragging his feet behind Patton.

“If we’re quick, another half hour kiddo!” Patton chirped.

Virgil sighed dramatically, yanking his hands from his purple-patched hoodie. “We’ve been walking forever, I’ve learn the true definition of drowning in sweat, and I think every car that passes us is a ephebophilic murderer.”

“E-phe-bo-philic.” Patton perplexedly sounded out.

“A pervert who would be all too happy to find two lonesome teenagers walking alone a forested road.” Virgil explained while plunging his hands back into their homey pocket abyss. “Maybe this was a bad idea.”

Patton frowned emphatically and slowed his pace until him and Virgil were hiking side-by-side. “You’ve just had too much time to get into that silly ole’ head of yours. We’re just fine!” Patton reassured, grinning as an idea crossed his head.

“I know! Why don’t we play a game?”

Virgil raised a suspicious eyebrow at his direction. “What kind of game?”

“I spy! Why don’t you go first?” Patton invited.

Virgil crossed his arms in resistance. Patton pulled his favorite card and shot his puppy-eyes in return. No one was too old for a bit of distracting fun! And definitely never to broody-no matter how much black his son determined on coloring himself with.

Virgil blew a raspberry into the air and shrugged, which Patton greedily took as an enthusiastic win. “I spy with my little eyes…something black.”

“Right on brand, but at least you’re trying.” Patton quippedd. “Is it the road?”

“Nope.”

“Your hoodie?” Patton tried again.

“Nuh-uh.”

Patton craned his neck to the sky. “The birds?”

“Wrong again, pops.”

“Well what is it?” Patton eagerly gave in.

Virgil stared at him with a deadpanned expression. “It’s what we’ll see when a murderer stabs us in the back and we lose consciousness because we were so enraptured with a preschool game.

Patton ogled at Virgil, dumbfounded and disturbed. “I…appreciate your imagination. But you see, Virge, the game ‘I Spy’ is usually about others trying to figure out what you see. You know, physically? So maybe give it another go.”

Virgil lazily eyed Patton before scanning his surroundings in relent. “I spy something red.”

“It better not be blood this time.” Patton warned. “Is it my sock?”

Patton pointed at his long mismatched socks, one red, one yellow. Virgil shook his head.

Patton scanned his surroundings, thinking hard. Two pinpricks of light hidden in bushes caught his attention. “Is it those eyes in the trees?”

Virgil naturally shook his head before halting and snapping his head to the bundle of trees. “Eyes?”

“Yeah!” Pat confirmed. “I think it was a deer.”

Virgil squinted his eyes, following the direction Patton was enhtuastically pointing at. Swiftly, he took quiet steps to the cluster of evergreen.

“Virgil, don’t go in there. You might spook it away!” Patton warned.

“Deer eyes glow yellow. Not red.” Virgil apprised faintly. He stepped off the broken road and shuffled through the trees, scanning the area. The entrance to the wood was spread out and bright-if there were any animals there, he would have spotted them.

Despite the beaming sun and thick hoodie, Patton’s hand iced his skin when he briefly touched Virgil’s shoulder. “Maybe I was seeing things. Let’s just get to the castle.”

However, when Virgil met Patton’s sky blue eyes, shrunken and unsure, he took another step deeper into the wooded area. Patton had seen something, and it wasn’t an animal.

“Who’s there?” Virgil called into the trees, omitting the tremble from his words.  He kept one hand on his backpack as security, despite there being nothing inside that would offer protection. With the other, he motioned Patton to wait at the edge of the road, facing the sparsely spread trees. “Stay where you are. I’m going to look around. If you can’t see me, call me and I’ll come back.”

Patton looked as if he wanted to argue, but then settled down and nodded. treading back until he returned on the aggregate. “Be careful, Kiddo.”

Feeling steadier knowing Patton was simultaneously safe and watching his back, Virgil hastened his pace deeper through the trees. were clustered enough for Virgil to have to watch his stepping, but spread out enough for Patton to spot glimpses of him through windows of wood. However, the deeper he stepped, the closer and thicker the trees became. Sunlight slowly became subdued from the overhead spanning of branches and leaves.

Surveying the area around him, nothing seemed out of the ordinary. The dirt mushed around his Converse, adding filth to his worn-down shoes. The dark leaves idly dangled from their branches, softly swaying in the breeze like wind chimes. Chirping fell from the sky in undertones as red birds flew overhead. The red birds Patton was meant to spot.

Watchfully turning around in a circle, Virgil widened his eyes in investigation. Nothing caught his attention. Patton wasn’t the type to pull pranks, but he was the type of get carried away in his imagination. About to call it quits, Virgil began to take a step back.

Without warning, two spots of red blinked in the brushes, a bright contrast from the cool tones of the forest. It was far off from where Virgil stood and it only shone for a second, but Virgil had it.

He sped off to a chase where the red light flashed, hopping over fallen logs with twisted branches that prodded his legs as he fell. It was getting darker now-the trees crowded and loftier-blocking the pastel sky. Faintly, he heard Patton calling after him in the distance.

Virgil rationally understood he could be rushing after the trick of the light or a prankster. Be that as it may, Virgil’s heart was pumping with exhilaration. What were the odds that in the forest near a possibly haunted castle, both Patton and Virgil spotted gleaming red orbs?

“Is anywhere here?” Virgil called into the woods, slowing to a stop. He hastily fished out his phone, pressing record. A small line of light pierced the wood as Virgil scanned his camera in front of him.

A sharp crack erupted from his left, abrupt and quick. Virgil swiveled to the left and held out his phone. A stick laid in the dirt, snapped in half. The black hairs on his pale arm stood up straight, each an individual sensor for any sudden sound or movement.

“If that was you, can you give me another sign?” Virgil stood tensely, awaiting another indicator. Upon utter stillness, he suggested, “Make a leaf from the tree in front of me fall if you broke the stick.”

Virgil craned his neck upwards, scanning the leaves of the broad overhead tree. Leisurely, almost tauntingly, a single leaf unlatched itself from its twig and fluttered down gracefully. Virgil followed the movement with his phone’s light. The narrow leaf landed on Virgil’s shoulder.

Virgil attempted to calm himself down. Not from fear, but from excitement. This was the closest he had gotten to a response affirming a self-aware entity. And the entity was communicating with him personally, manipulating responses to make their answer clear. This was a big deal! This is what Virgil expected ghost hunting to be like!

“My name is Virgil Storme,” he introduced. “What’s your name?”

A soft whisper rasped, coarse and hoary. As if the voice had not been used in a long time, and it was testing out its tongue once more. Pausing deeply after each syllable, the voice croaked, “Roman. Prince.”

Roman Prince? The Roman Prince? One of the tragic victims from the New Prince Castle’s brutal murder?

Okay. Relax. As long as he didn’t screw things up, this could happen.

“Hello, Roman. Are you from-” Ring! Ring!

Virgil jumped as his phone violently buzzed. Patton’s contact flashed on the phone, loudly beeping. Irritated would be an understatement as Virgil answered loudly, “What, Patton?”

“What do you mean, ‘what, Patton?’” Patton yelled, equally loud and much more aggravated. “I’ve called you at least five times! I can’t see you at all. You’ve had me worried sick!”

Virgil furrowed his brow in confusion, checking his phone log. His last call had been from Remy this morning. “I have no missed calls from you. The signal must have been jacked up.”

“I don’t care!” Patton cried. “You just went running off into the middle of the forest where I can’t see you. You ignore me when I’m calling after you. You were supposed to stay in my sight.”

Virgil guiltily ran his sweaty palm through his hair. “I’m sorry for worrying you, Pat. But, I think I really got something here.”

Promising to head back, Virgil hung up and sighed at his phone. The video had stopped. At least Roman spoke before Patton called-right in the nick of time as well.

“Roman?” Virgil called. “Are you still here?” Steady silence answered Virgil. The cold weight that was brought upon the entity’s presence had lifted. The manifestation had disappeared.

Still, Virgil had a name. And a connection. Roman Prince from the New Prince Castle.

This investigation might be the one to finally unlock his answers of the paranormal. Finally, Virgil would win.

 The sun was slowly setting, casting warm hues onto the early evening sky. Remy gently hobbled up and down in his seat as they headed down the bumpy road. Soft, classical music drifted from the car’s radio.

“Can you believe it? They walked! Walked! Alone in the woods; like a couple of white guys!”

Logan shot Remy a questioning glance. “They are a couple of white guys.”

“Yeah, but I’ve practically raised Virgil-bringing him coffee and letting him inside my house at four in the morning. He should have some Hispanic blood running through his veins. Where are his street smarts?”

Logan sighed, keeping his eyes on the road. Remy and Logan’s father were relatively close. Remy knew Logan since he was a kid. When Logan’s father received a call from Remy asking for a ride, he had sent Logan to pick him up and drop him off at his shop.

Remy has been huffing about today’s former events since Logan had arrived to pick him up. In the back of Logan’s vehicle, Remy’s sad excuse of a car was being towed.  “If you are so wound up about them walking to the castle, why did you grace them with your consent to proceed?”

Remy crossed his arms, pouting. “Gurl, don’t you think I tried to stop them? But, at the end of the day, I’m just Virgil’s fun, sexy roommate. I’m not the boss of him. And when Virgil sets his mind to something, he does it.” Remy pulled his hazel locks. “It’s so irritating!”

When a silence settled over the pair, Remy could feel Logan’s calculating eyes fall upon him, studying his body movement, his words. Remy shifted uncomfortably, but kept his back facing Logan as he stared out the window. Remy felt like a textbook under his gaze.

Finally, Logan seemed to reach his conclusion. Clicking his tongue, he determined, “You’re upset.”

Remy harshly glared at Logan, feathers riled up and fuming. “No shit, Sherlock.”

“However,” Logan enunciated, “I do not believe it’s because Virgil and Patton took a walk in order to arrive to their destination.”

“Oh wise one, please enlighten me on how you reached that conclusion.” Remy sarcastically pleaded.

“Because you and I know that Virgil can take care of himself-you have seen it countless of times. Additionally, the circumstances in which the are embarking on their travels is more than suitable. They left well during the earlier hours of daylight, they have all the supplies they would need for survival, and if there was any danger, they would easily be able to call you.” Logan explained, ticking down each factor on the list with a soft hit on the driving wheel.

“You wouldn’t get it.” Remy mumbled. “You don’t feel things like other people.”

“Just because I am more logical than most does not mean I don’t feel.” Logan defended, voice slightly rising. “I just believe you are upset and need to see things from a different perspective-hence, my explanation.”

“Yeah, okay.” Remy conceded, shooting Logan an apologetic smile. “You’re right. Thanks for trying, nerd.”

Logan seemed perplexed as whether Remy was genuinely expressing his gratitude or if he was as the butt of another insult. It was a bit of both.

“Not to, as the saying goes, ‘stick my nose where it doesn’t belong,’ but you had mentioned having history with the New Prince Castle. Does that, perhaps, have something to do with you exaggerated concern?”

“Sayings exist for a reason, Lo. I didn’t have a good experience with that castle when I was younger. I just want the kid and his friend to stay safe.”

Logan took the hint and let the conversation die. Remy suddenly felt awfully tired, and he wasn’t up to make small talk, and he definitely wasn’t up for nerd talk, so instead he closed his eyes and leaned his head against the window.

“Thanks for the ride, hun.” Remy mumbled.

“You are very welcome, Remy. Do not hesitate to give me a call if you’re in need.”

Remy pictured the New Prince Castle in his head from his childhood. Colorful and full of life. Everyone gave it their all to make the castle come to life. He wondered what the castle looked like now, aged and abandoned. Covered in dust and mold with only remnants of what it once been.

No matter how it looked now, it could not be uglier than what is used to be.

  Taglist: @suspicious-sweaters @septicstarlight

[ilovemygaydad]

Friends in Dark Places [ch 2]

pairing: eventual moxiety, eventual logince, background eventual remile, background eventual remy/emile/deceit

WARNINGS: suicidal ideation, attempted suicide, crying, anger, shouting, self harm, blood,  fainting, panic attacks, depression, cliff hanger ending, food mentions, graphic scenery and lots of angst, and possibly something else

summary: After struggling with suicidal ideation and loneliness for years, a teen decides it’s time for it all to end… that is, until someone tries to save him.

tag list: @hufflepuffgirl01 @cocobearthe4th @cas-is-a-hunter@band-be-boss-blog @theunoriginaldaisy

a/n: so i have to repost all of these in a different format! yay fucking me!!!! please consider reblogging these if you’re a fan of this series because it’s all fucked up now

first - previous - next - companions

consider buying me a coffee (please)

-

Virgil rubbed his eyes harshly, not caring about smearing his makeup. He slowly opened his eyes and caught sight of a person at the end of the bed he was laying in. A bed that definitely was not his.

“What the fuck?!” Virgil yelled, scrambling out of the bed and as far from the person he could possibly get. The stranger looked familiar, but he couldn’t quite place where he’d seen them before. His thoughts and memories were all jumbled from sleepiness, and pulling one distinct face was nearly impossible.

“Phew! For a little while there, I was pretty worried that you weren’t going to wake up. Do you remember what happened last night, kiddo?” Virgil’s memories of the previous night practically slapped him in the face with how quickly they’d rushed back. He’d gone out to... Well, he’d gone out with the sole intention to kill himself. Then, while contemplating the inevitable like the when this stranger came by and persuaded him that he shouldn’t jump, partially by threatening to call the police. And then he’d had a panic attack because the situation had become far too intense, and after that… He supposed that he must’ve passed out, but he couldn’t remember.

He relayed that information back to the stranger adding, “You scared the fucking shit out of me.” The stranger nodded solemnly, obviously not happy with having upset Virgil the night before.

“I called my mom to come pick us up, saying that we’d both been walking in the same direction and you’d passed out. I didn’t really want to lie, but I knew that you would want as little attention brought to your suicide attempt as you could. And, since I guess you would like to know whose house you’re in, I’m Patton. Patton Shea. And you are?” Patton gave him an encouraging look.

“I’m, uh… I’m Virgil Thomas. He/him pronouns.” Virgil added the last part purely out of habit from being online. Patton nodded thoughtfully.

“I guess I use he/him pronouns as well. I’ve never thought to add them when I introduce myself, but it definitely sounds good in practice,” he said with a small tilt of his head. “Well! You must be starving! It’s nearly noon; would you like some breakfast? I can quickly reheat some leftover pancakes and make some more!” Patton stood up and walked toward the door of his bedroom. Virgil was still standing in the corner, thoroughly confused and feeling distressed. After his initial panic had faded, he’d realized that at some point after he’d passed out, Patton had taken his hoodie off of him.

“Um, Patton? Can I have my hoodie back?” Virgil asked softly just before the other boy had reached the door. Patton turned around and gave him a big smile.

“Of course! I can’t believe I forgot. It’s in the bathroom right over there with some more comfortable clothes than skinny jeans if you’d like to change.” He pointed at a door to Virgil’s left that Virgil assumed led to an en-suite bathroom. Fancy, he thought with a bitter sarcasm.

“I’m gonna go get your breakfast ready, so take your time getting yourself situated,” Patton said with a sunny smile. Virgil nodded and watched the other leave the room. He let out a long breath that he hadn’t even realized he was holding. He made his way into the bathroom. The second he’d locked the door, he sank to the ground and put his head in his hands.

He felt so guilty. He was imposing himself onto this person that he’d never met before--not to mention his entire family--and had caused mental distress to him as well. He shouldn’t have stood on that ledge for so long; he should have just climbed up and jumped immediately. And now Patton ended up paying the repercussions of innocently walking by when a depressed kid was on the brink of death. Virgil felt the tears start to stream down his face. Why did he always fuck things up?

Virgil had no clue how long he’d been sitting on the floor of Patton’s bathroom in the middle of a breakdown before he’d heard a light knock on the other side of the door.

“Virge--gosh, is it okay if I call you that--are you okay? It sounds like you’re crying. Can I come in?” Patton’s voice was laced with genuine concern and understanding. Quickly swiping the back of his hand over his eyes and nose, he stood up and glanced worriedly at the door.

“Um, I’m fine, Patton. Don’t worry about it. Really,” Virgil replied, probably with too much enthusiasm. He crossed his fingers that Patton would just go away, and after a few seconds, he heard a sigh from the opposite side of the door.

“Okay, well, if you need to talk, I’m here. Your breakfast is ready, so come down when you’re done.” Virgil gave a quick okay and actually set to get himself cleaned up. He felt gross as hell. Patton’s footsteps could be heard walking away, and Virgil rushed to ask something.

“Hey, Patton? Is it okay if I take a shower?” Patton’s footsteps came to a halt.

“Of course, Virgil! There are towels under the sink.” The footsteps continued, and the bedroom door made a soft click as it closed. Virgil pulled two towels out from where Patton had told him they’d be and turned on the shower. It took him a few minutes to figure it out (he had to turn it to adjust the temperature and pull the knob out to turn on the water) and accidentally soaked his shirt in the process.

He took a quick shower and dried off. Unfortunately, some of the water from his shirt had soaked into his jeans and he was forced to wear the light blue checkered pajama pants and disgustingly bright green shirt. He zipped up his sweatshirt in an attempt to mask most of the color. Virgil took the edge of the towel he’d used to dry off his hair and washed off the remaining smudges of black makeup from under his eyes and brushed his hair out of his face with his fingers. He looked oddly… normal.

Once he was absolutely sure any signs of him having cried had disappeared, Virgil left Patton’s room and went down the set of stairs to his left. Overall, the house had a very clean yet familial aura, and it gave Virgil an odd sense of calm and happiness.

“Patton? Where’s the kitchen?” Virgil called out. The place was huge. There were three hallways that branched from the bottom of the stairs and each had at least one other hallway branching off of that one.

“Go left and then go through the first doorway on the left!” Patton shouted back. The instructions were easy enough, and the confused teen found himself in a spacious kitchen with pristine, cream-colored cabinets and pink marble countertops. Patton was standing at the counter with the largest stack of pancakes Virgil had ever seen in his whole seventeen years of life.

“Are all of those pancakes for me?” Virgil could only imagine the confused and astounded look that was on his face.

“Well, if you want them all, you’re free to have them. I didn’t know how many you’d want, so I made more than enough.” There was a bright smile on Patton’s face, as if he’d fulfilled his life’s purpose by making at least thirty pancakes. He looked truly radiant in his flour-covered t-shirt and jeans. 

Virgil couldn’t help but smile. “Thanks, Patton. I don’t eat a lot of pancakes, usually, but I appreciate the sentiment.” He walked to the small table in the center of the room and sat down where a sole was a plate set up. Patton carefully carried the giant plate of pancakes to the table and set them near his guest. Virgil took three pancakes to start and began to eat them plain. He didn’t want to use up anything more than he had to.

“Are you sure you don’t want any syrup on your pancakes? They’ll probably taste better if you put some on…” Virgil looked up to see a confused, but not malicious, look on Patton’s face.

“No, it’s fine. I’m used to eating plain pancakes.” The teen gave a reassuring smile and hoped he was convincing enough. The other seemed to take that as a good enough answer and began asking about Virgil’s life.

“So, Verge, how old are you?” Patton still had a smile on his face as if he was truly enjoying the company. 

“I, uh, turned seventeen yesterday…” Virgil cringed at the thought of his host realizing he’d tried to kill himself on his birthday.

“Oh! I just turned seventeen yesterday as well! As did two of my friends. They’re super nice; I think you’d like them.” Where Patton had gathered any information as to what kind of people Virgil would enjoy spending time with was a mystery, but Virgil politely nodded. “Do you go to Westview High School?”

“Yeah.” Virgil didn’t see any use in lying to Patton. Eventually their paths would have crossed at school, and that would’ve been a really awkward to have to explain.

Patton furrowed his brows, obviously trying to think of at least one time that he’d seen Virgil around school. “I’m surprised I’ve never seen you around before!” 

“I keep to the shadows most of the time. It’s really not a big deal.” He’d finished his pancakes and was reaching for another one.

“You should hang out with my friends and I at school sometime. Which reminds me, I’ve already called myself in sick, so I should do the same for you. Your last name was Thomas, right?” Patton stood up and walked over to the cell phone laying on the counter. It was in a light blue case with dog stickers on it, which seemed to fit Patton’s happy-go-lucky persona perfectly.

“Yup.” Virgil continued to eat his pancake while Patton made the phone call. He seemed to be making jokes with the secretary, which was extremely surprising since she was notorious for being mean.

“Okie dokie! You’re excused from school today. Now, I know we’ve been talking about some pretty light topics, but I think we should talk about something important.” The hoodie-clad teen shrunk back. Oh no…

“Patton, it’s fine. I’m fine. I was just feeling really upset yesterday and was about to do something rash. It was a one-time thing…” Virgil didn’t even sound convincing to himself. He slouched forward, discarding his pancake on his plate and settling his head in his hands.

“Virge, I know that I’ve only known you for less than a day, but I know good people when I see them. You deserve to live--”

“How do you know?!” Virgil snapped. “You know barely anything about me. For all you know, I could be a criminal in need of psychiatric help!” His voice was a knife through Patton’s soft, kind words. There was no longer any happiness on Patton’s face.

“I… I…” Patton looked like he was a second away from crying.

“You should have just left me to die. I’m worthless, and you know it. Now leave me the fuck alone.” Virgil aggressively shoved his chair back and walked from the room. His feet carried him up the stairs and into Patton’s bathroom. He immediately locked the door and collapsed. What he’d done was wrong and he knew that, but he was sick of Patton’s faux empathy.

Patton’s muffled voice carried through the bathroom door, but it was barely registered. “Yes, Logan. Yes, I did try to talk to him about staying with me, but he wouldn’t let me get my words in. Mhmm. He locked himself in the bathroom; I’m going to try and get him to come out.” There was a knock. “Virgil? Kiddo, are you okay?” Tears were streaming down Virgil’s face as he stood up and looked at his reflection in the mirror. He was pathetic. He couldn’t even kill himself correctly; he wasn’t able to do the obviously right thing. The teen pulled his fist back and sent it flying into the mirror.

CRASH! 

Glass rained onto the counter with the sound of a thousand tiny bells. Virgil looked down to see red streaming from his knuckles, but he honestly didn’t care.

“Virgil?! What happened? Are you okay?” Patton sounded frantic. “Logan, get Roman. I need you both to come here and help me. Right now. Yes, just--get here.”

Verge picked up one of the larger shards of glass and examined it in his hands. It was beautiful, a jagged piece of crystal catching the light at just the right angles. He squeezed the shard, feeling it cut into the soft flesh of his hands. The teenager gently placed the red glass onto the pristine white countertop and ran a hand through his hair. He was starting to become dizzy. He picked up another mirror shard and cut it into his forearm multiple times. A wave of calm washed over his racing mind.

“Please let me in, buddy. I’m not trying to hurt you!”

The teen in the bathroom fell to the floor, unable to hold himself up with how dizzy he was.

A few sets of footsteps pounded nearby, and Patton’s voice was a bit softer. “I think he broke the mirror. I don’t want him hurting himself. He’s in a very dark place. Help me break the door open.” A series of bangs erupted in the small space where Virgil was. He curled in on himself, not wanting to have to deal with the world anymore.

A loud crack rang out as three figures bursted through the door. They froze and stared at Virgil, laying on the bath mat covered in blood and crying. Virgil hazily registered that Patton had made a choked noise in the doorway.

“Patton, I know this is hard for you, but I need you to go grab gauze rolls from the medicine cabinet. Roman, help me drag him onto the bed,” a calm voice instructed. Virgil felt two sets of hands grab him and pull him to the bed, gently laying him onto the plush covers. Something was then being wrapped around his hands and forearms.

“Thanks, Pat. Roman I need you to get the car started up and clear out a space in the back for Virgil to lay down.” The edges of Virgil’s vision had become shrouded in misty black, so he wasn’t able to make out any of the figures around him.

“Virgil? I’m going to carry you now. Please do not be alarmed,” the calm voice said. Virgil gave a weak nod as he was scooped into a pair of steady arms. The teen allowed himself to doze off as he was carted into an unfamiliar car for the second time in twenty-four hours.

next

[supernatural-book]

Second Chances

Title: Second Chances

Pairing: Gadreel x Reader (my first not sam, cas or dean fic!)

Word Count: 1,591

Summary: Gadreel is trying to get the boys to trust him, and while they don’t, the reader believes they should give him a second chance, and stands up for him during the conversation. Gadreel isn’t used to people seeing past his mistakes.

A/N: Hey, sorry if it’s not all following canon. It’s been a while since I watched this season, but I really wanted to try to put the reader into the show, and so this is kind of changing the canon plot. Oh well. Also, this is unedited. I’ll check in tomorrow to reread it, but I’m about to pass out.

Over your years with the boys, you've met many different people- seeing people come and go after hunts were over was part of the job, but you're never met someone quite like this angel. All the angels you have encountered, with the exception of a select few, were completely royal dicks. But this angel whose name had only recently been revealed to be Gadreel, was different.

You knew his story. After learning who he was, you sat with Cas, listening to him tell you Gadreel's whole, infamous tale. You couldn’t imagine the guilt he must feel after what happened. He’d spent thousands of years in Heaven’s prison after being tricked by Lucifer and letting him into the Garden. He’d been dishonored, and his mistake had led to Humanity being corrupted. And now, once God’s most trusted, he stood before you asking for redemption.

“You don't trust me, fine. I understand. I've...made mistakes. But haven't you? Haven't we all?” His words struck a familiar chord inside you. You have made mistakes. What were you thinking, about to deny him his chance at redemption, when you had been in his shoes before? Your arms uncrossed, your stance relaxing. He looked back and forth between the boys, and his eyes settled on you for only a moment longer. “At least give me a chance.” You exchanged glances with the boys. None of them seemed to care, but you stepped forward.

“I’ll give him a chance.” The three of the boys looked over to you in shock, as if they couldn’t believe you would even consider. Gadreel locked eyes with you, and you could feel a wave of pity wash over you. He truly meant well, you could tell.

“Really?” Dean sounded as if you had just betrayed him. It hurt you, but you believe in second chances. You turned to Dean.

“How many times have you or Sam or Cas fucked up or worked for the wrong person, and needed a second chance? Hell, even a third chance! Why is it any different now?” They boys exchanged glances.

“He lied to us. He told us his name was Ezekiel!” Dean raised his voice, and you stood taller, defending your ground.

“Of course he did! If he would have said he was Gadreel, you would have never trusted him in the first place! Sam would probably still be in the hospital! Remember when Cas lied to us? Or what about recently when you lied to Sam about what was happening in his own body? How is anything we’ve done any better than Gadreel lying about his identity?” Dean took a step towards you, furious now.

“He’s working for Metatron!”

“He was. And he wants to help us now!” You glanced at Gadreel, who nodded in response. “Think of how much help he could be. He already helped Sam get better and he resurrected Cas and Charlie for fucks sake! I think he deserves a second chance.” The boys seemed to relax, only slightly.

“What about what he did to Kevin?” Sam forced the words out. You took a shaky breath.

“Well, that I won't forgive. I can't. But I'm sure he regrets that.” Dean still didn't seem pleased with this answer. It's the mark. You told yourself. Dean would normally be more open to giving people another chance. He saw Gadreel kill Kevin, and now the only thing that matters to him is that Gadreel pays for it. “Guys, you always say you trust my guesses. It’s like, my sixth sense. So trust me this one time.” Finally, Cas stepped forward.

“I agree with (Y/N). Gadreel truly wants to do the right thing.” Silence settled in the bunker while Sam and Dean considered this. You smiled at Cas, thankful that someone was finally hearing you. It felt like another million years before Sam sighed.

“Alright, (Y/N), I’ll trust you.” You smiled, and looked over to Gadreel. He was watching you with a look of pure thankfulness in his eyes. You almost melted seeing the man who was so desperate to be redeemed that he was willing to risk his life. Suddenly, all eyes landed on Dean. He still didn’t look happy, but he took a step towards Gadreel, holding his hand out in what you assumed to be acceptance.

You assumed incorrectly.

It all happened so quickly. With Dean holding Gadreel’s hand tightly in his own, he lunged forward, revealing the First Blade. Before you could even process what was happening, there was a large gash in Gadreel’s torso, and he was stumbling back. “Dean!” Sam and Cas rushed forward to stop him from inflicting any more pain onto the angel. They held Dean back, and you cringed at the feral noises he was making. Sam looked at you and nodded in Gadreel’s direction. Knowing that Sam and Cas had Dean under control, you turned to help Gadreel, but were shocked to find out he wasn’t there. Your first instinct was to follow the bloody handprints on the wall. He must have stumbled outside, holding the cut on his chest in pain.

You picked up your pace and exited the bunker. There was no way you were letting him get away. Not after building up your trust like that.

“Gadreel!” You called as soon as you came in contact with the world outside the bunker. You heard quiet grunting and saw him leaning all of his weight onto the tree not far from the entrance of the bunker. “Gadreel.” You reached out to him, supporting him and lowering him to the ground slowly. “Cas will come out and heal you, don’t worry.” He looked up at you, his eyes full of awe, as if he couldn’t believe someone was being nice to him. After a few moments, he opened his mouth.

“Why did you come after me? Why do you trust me?” You paused, thrown off by the question. How do you answer to something like that? Here he was, lying injured in the grass and asking you to explain the reason you found a way to give him a second chance. Asking you to bear your heart to him. You sat down on the ground next to him.

“Will you be okay until the boys comes out?”

“I will.” He was obviously in pain, but there wasn’t anything you could do at the moment but wait for Cas to come out and heal him.

“Well, um, to answer your question…” You met his eyes and found it difficult to hold eye contact. “I think you really do want to help us. And I believe you deserve to redeem yourself.” He didn’t say anything, so you continued, your hand absentmindedly playing with the string of the hoodie he wore under his jacket. “I don’t think the events that you were punished for were your fault. I don’t think you deserved that.” You waited for a few moments and he still didn’t respond. He watched you in silence with soft green eyes. You couldn’t pinpoint the emotion behind them, but what you could see was surprise and a hint of awe. “Please say something.”

"You really believe I am innocent? You do realize that the blame for all of the world's sins can fall on me, do you not?”

“Well, I wasn’t there, of course. But, from what I’ve heard, it sounds like you were manipulated. So yes, I don’t think you deserved the sentence you received. The boys may not believe me, but I’ve seen you heal my friends, hell, even animals! You’re a good person, Gadreel.” He was quiet for a few moments, but this time it was different. Whereas before it was a troubled, awkward silence, this time he looked happy. “I believe in second chances..”

“(Y/N).” You took in the way his lips pronounced your name, realizing it was the first time he had spoken directly to you. “I am wholeheartedly thankful.” He spoke with the same polite, serious tone he’d always used, but there was something different there. Something more intimate. As if there was a friendship sparking between you two already, as if you had finally gotten him to open up to you, as if he felt like someone finally cared for him. It was sad to think about, but after thousands of years in prison, he must have lost faith in himself. He must have come out craving redemption, and had forgotten what it feels like for someone else to finally care about him. “Now I promise you, I will not let you down.” You smiled.

“Good.” Before you could say anything else, Cas and Sam came out. Cas kneeled next to Gadreel and reached out to heal the injured angel.

“No. Your Grace. Healing me will only weaken you.” Gadreel pleaded. You smiled. You were right, and almost felt like turning to Sam and saying ‘See? He is good.’ But for now, you’d just keep it to yourself. You gave Gadreel a hand and helped him to his feet, and he lent you a smile smile in appreciation. It warmed your heart to see him show happiness. Ever since you’d known him, he seemed to only think about redemption, honor, and the mistakes he made. You were glad you were able to lift the weight from him. There was so much more you wanted to tell him, so much more you wanted to teach him about human customs, so much more you wanted to do with him. But unfortunately, there were more important things at hand right now. Maybe tomorrow you’d hold his hand more. Even give him a hug.

You smiled. Yeah, tomorrow.

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Taglist!

@thecurlyhairedwinchester, @solis200213, @music-lockscreen, @bella-ca, @totally-not-gadreel (here ya go!)

[noexit-ff]

40. Part 2

This is so weird, like crazy weird “What did she say?” I said to Robyn, walking around the now wet carpet. Robyn held the phone out to me “I don’t know” she sobbed out, taking the phone from Robyn “hello?” I said down the phone “oh hi Chris, erm. I was saying to your wife to come to the hospital, no sign of her wanting to push?” she questioned “nothing, she’s not well though. Her temperature is high, she is sweating and telling me she is cold” I explained “she could have got an infection which has pushed the waters to break, keep her hydrated and bring her to the hospital we will be waiting for you both” nodding my head “we need to check the baby’ temperature too so please come now” sighing out “aight, we will come” I don’t feel I am ready for this, disconnecting the call feeling a little out of my depth with this “just stop crying please, we need to go to the hospital. I need you to put some clothes on, you not in pain are you?” she shook her head “I am just tired” touching her forehead “I can tell, just get dressed. I am going to get things together” I need to get dressed myself “Chris, wait” stopping in my tracks “Happy Birthday baby, I am sorry it’s not much” I chuckled “it’s cool babe, just be careful. Let me put your pants on for you, let me know what you want to wear” I need to call Cass, I am having a bodyguard outside that shit. I don’t want no shit being leaked out because I know what them motherfuckers are like.

Crouching down at the side of the car “here, you need to keep drinking water. We will get there” placing the bottle of water on her lap, reaching up and placing the hoodie over her head “how do you feel? I know I don’t feel it so I won’t get it but how is it?” Robyn rested her head back “I feel pressure but I don’t want to push, it’s not what I am supposed to feel. I feel like cold, tired” she mumbled out, I am so worried now “ok, we will get you there. Just hold tight” getting up from my position and closing the door, I am so fucking scared. I need to pull myself together, I need to do this for Robyn. No weak shit, I can do it. Pulling open the car door and sitting in “I am just going to sleep” Robyn mumbled “ok” putting the car engine on “you want me to call the family? Let them know so they can fly out?” Robyn nodded her head silently, I will call them but not say Robyn is not well. If I am worried then they will be worried, too much worrying. This is so foreign to me, especially when this type of shit is out of my hands and I cannot do anything to control the situation.

Stopping outside the hospital, Cass got into the car “they won’t let you in like that, you need to come in from the back with us” driving off “they strict as shit here, how is she?” Cass asked “Robyn is not well, I have no idea bro. I was telling her mom that you know, it’s time. I let it slip that she is not well and her mom is so worried now, I am so scared Cass” stopping outside the barrier “I can imagine” rolling the window down, the security guard just looked at my face, he didn’t ask me nothing and put the barrier up “Happy Birthday though” Cass patted my shoulder “thanks, I just need you to make sure nobody comes on that floor we don’t know, that room is covered. We have the two rooms at the side of the room Robyn is giving birth in, I bought them because of privacy. I wanted the floor but Robyn said I was being dramatic” seeing Sarah and a few nurses waiting “I got you, I think they are all waiting for you” stopping at the side of them “Robyn, baby. Wake up, we are here” carefully unbuckling Robyn out of the seat “I am awake” she lifted her head up, Cass got out of the car “I need water” she said, grabbing the bottled water from her lap. Opening the cap and holding it out to her, Cass opened the car door for Robyn “Robyn, it is time” Sarah said, I been waiting for this to happen but now I am scared.

Holding my am out, I just want to go back into the room with my wife “even though we know who you are we still need to put a name wristband on you, let everyone know you are the dad” the nurse said tightening the wristband around my wrist “I know you are thinking but I am the dad and you’re Chris Brown but it needs to be done” nodding my head smiling, looking down at my name “you put Christopher Brown on there” it sounds so formal “yes, and you are the bodyguard, you also need one. Even though you will be outside. Just so we know you can be here” let me go and see my wife, jogging down the hall. I stopped in my tracks as a nurse ran out of the room, I near hit into her. Holding the door open as I walked in, they got Robyn in that gown quick. This room is like an apartment, I have my own bed too. I am impressed “are you comfortable Robyn?” the guy said, I am not here for males being near my wife “yes” I can make my wife comfortable, he is not needed “hello” he seems gay “hi” walking over to Robyn’ side.

I am just sat back silently, these people know what they are doing. There is Sarah and these other two nurses, they are really doing a lot that I can’t keep up “what does that do?” I pointed at this belt they put around Robyn’ stomach “heart monitor for the baby, just look there. And you will see it, any minute” looking up at the screen “there we are, look at the healthy heart beat there” smiling a little, I am happy to hear that “so what is happening, is my wife ok?” I just need to know “sorry, I just needed to check the baby. He is fine, nothing to worry about but” Sarah said, I hate the word but “the labour hasn’t started but Robyn has got a fever, an infection. We will keep a close eye on the baby and Robyn’ temperature, so she is on an IV drip and Antibiotics. I am going to give it a few hours, the IV hopefully will push the birth but right now she is not in labour. I don’t want to wait too long, Robyn being ill can and will get to the baby making the baby have the fever. I don’t want to wait too long on this, we will need to induce her if the labour does not happen. If it worsens then we will look to do a caesarean section” frowning at her “a what?” I said in confusion “it’s where we will need cut open the stomach and get the baby that way but no need to worry right now, we just need to monitor Robyn. Only reason why we would do such a thing is to bring the baby into the world if we feel the baby is at risk, or the mother is not strong enough” Robyn has fallen asleep and left my ass to worry, this is a fucked up situation.

Sitting in the chair just watching Robyn sleep, I am worried that because she is not well then the baby will not be well either. I am worried for the both of them, I don’t understand how she even got this infection, was it me or is it because we went out. I should have kept her at home, it may be my fault. Hearing a light knock on the door “boss!” Cass shouted from outside the door, getting up from the chair “come in” walking over to the door, the door opened “your mom and family are here” he pointed down the hall, poking my head out and seeing the happy birthday balloons. A smile crept on my face leaving the room “oh look, my son” my mom pointed, I think the nurse was stopping her “Mr Brown, we was just saying how Rihanna needs all the rest and just some peace” the nurse said “I got you, I will make sure they go in the waiting room” placing my arm around my mom “Happy Birthday my handsome boy, oh I can’t believe you have hit another milestone in your life and you are about to be a dad, my heart is so happy” moving back from the hug “appreciate it everyone, y’all can’t come in the room. Let’s go in the waiting room” I ain’t going to speak in the hallway, I just want to get back in the room.

It’s nice to see Keeis, Aaron, Robb, Austin, my aunties and uncles all here “appreciate it, y’all flew out from VA that quick. Must have been ready?” rubbing my hands together “I had my bags packed, got the call and flew out with these” Christine said “thank you, so yeah Robyn is in the room. She is not in labour, the waters have broke but she is not giving birth exactly. She is asleep on a IV line and antibiotics, she has actually come down with a fever” my mom gasped “oh baby, no wonder you have this worried look on your face” nodding my head “yeah, she is asleep right now and I am just a little worried but the baby is ok for now. I don’t know how she even got ill, it was out of nowhere, Robyn was literally fine. So yeah, I am just worried and just need to be quiet for her” I hope they understand, same will happen with the Barbados family when they come.

Opening the door to the room “don’t push me in” I said to my mom, she is so rough “oh my poor baby, look at her. She looks like she has given birth already” furrowing my eyebrows “don’t say that mom, you’re supposed to be supporting and making me feel positive” my mom walked over to the bed “she is in good hands Chris, they will act on anything they feel is wrong so stop worrying. Did you put her hair up? This looks like a man did it” rubbing my neck “well, she said for me to do it. I ain’t know what to do, I couldn’t get the bun right” my mom chuckled “you think she will mind if I fix it?” shaking my head “fix it, better then what I did” putting my hands in my pockets “you going to spend your birthday worrying now, real life issues. No clubbing or having fun anymore” turning around “I know mom, I am not upset about it. I just want to make sure Robyn is good mom, you know I ain’t finna do anything if something goes wrong with my wife, if lose her” my mom shushed me “you are more dramatic than tootie, be quiet” my mom scolded, Robyn woke up “it’s just me sweetie, men don’t know a thing. Your hair wasn’t good” Robyn smiled at my mom “you sleep baby” my mom said “hey, Chris” hearing someone high key whispering, moving my head to the side seeing Aaron “what?” what the hell is he doing “look, we got cake. Can we sing Happy Birthday to you” why do I have stupid cousins, Cass opened the door wider “I’ll come out there, you legit bought me candles and cake?” seeing Keeis behind him and they really have “let them come in” Robyn said shifting up on the bed, my mom pulled the covers up for Robyn “come in, Robyn said you can” they need to go really.

Rubbing my chin “let me guess, mom got the baby picture on there. I knew it would be a Joyce thing” my mom hit my arm “you will always be my baby, look at you. My heart” smiling down at the innocent Chris before he grew up “I appreciate though” turning around to Robyn “I have in that bag, Austin. There is a box, get it out for me” Robyn said to him, Austin got up so I quickly sat down next to Robyn’ bed “is this it?” He held up, Robyn nodded “give it to Chris, I will obviously make it up to you” taking the box from Austin “you know I didn’t want anything, I am good with that” looking at Robyn, I just want her to be better “and baby open this” my mom placed a wrapped gift in my lap “seriously, why y’all buy me things. And cards” shaking my head smiling, they are doing the most “Happy Birthday to you” my sister started singing and then the rest started, busting out laughing “y’all sound bad, come on” my sister bought the cake over “was this planned?” I questioned “Happy Birthday Chris! Happy Birthday to you” I can’t stop smiling “make a wish and mean it, come on. You still little” licking my lips blowing the candles out “thank you everyone, honestly. I will remember this day, eventful day of course” my family really did this for me “well baby, I was going to give you the gift and cake today so we bought it here” my mom said, no wonder it was all set out.

Opening the box from Robyn “wow, this is beautiful” touching the diamond chain “that is platinum and diamond, but I will make it up to you Chris” she said, shaking my head closing the box “don’t babe” getting up from the chair and pressing a kiss on Robyn’ lips “thank you, it looks beautiful and expensive as fuck” sitting back down “now let’s see what Joyce got me, Desean is it wack?” I asked while placing the box on the side and picking up my mom’ wrapped gift “looks a little on the thin side mom” my nephew laughed “uncle I helped pick, it’s good” squinting my eyes and ripping open the paper and seeing two square boxes, one smaller than the other “if this is some cubic zirconia kind of thing mom, I won’t be impressed” my cousins busted out laughing “will you just open it, you’re so rude” opening the bigger box first “awww mom, that is too much” she spent money on me, a lot. Holding up the chain that have my initials on it “I got it made for you, it’s gold and diamonds. It’s big too” nodding my head “that is dope mom” I didn’t think she would think that deep on things “open the smaller box, you will see why” placing the chain back in the box and then opening the smaller box “awww look at that C M B Jnr, awww mom. I love it” I actually love this, getting up from the chair “thank you so much” I am so impressed.

Robyn fell asleep again even though the family are being loud as shit “Chris” Sarah waved at me, getting up from the chair “yeah, they going now. I know” I know what she is going to say “thank you, I am just going to check her over now so please” turning around “aight, y’all need to go. I will message my mom if anything ok? I appreciate y’all all coming out and it meant a lot to me for the birthday cake” Aaron hugged me “stay strong cuz” hugging him back “thank you” hitting Austin’ arm “shouldn’t you be in college? Coming out here for” I chuckled hugging Robb “keep in contact with us” Robb said “I will, and the videos y’all did. Keep it to y’all selves, it’s private” I pointed “like we was going to do that” Tootie side eyed me, hugging Tootie “but baby, I am putting the picture of me kissing your cheek. You can’t see anything there” my mom said “but you can see I am in a hospital, just don’t” my mom better not, but knowing my mom she will.

Putting the gifts away while they did their tests, they been doing it for a while “ok so no change, your temperature is coming down. Hopefully down to a safer number, just rest more Robyn” turning around to hear what Sarah is saying “we are going to give twenty four hours, hopefully to see movement or we will induce you. You need to eat too, bring some energy back in you and ready for the main event. The baby seems very content in staying in your stomach, he is very comfy” my smile grew “it must be luxury in there” I said, I didn’t say anything as stupid “only fit for a king” Robyn said smiling at me “I get to taste every so often” it naturally slipped out of my mouth “ok, so I will leave you both. Someone will be over shortly because you need to eat” Robyn shook her head at me “your first strike” Robyn pointed at me “what happens at the third strike?” this is testing, I want to know “push it and you will find out” that is easy for me, I will say something stupid again very soon.

It’s like hotel service here, Robyn ate and is now having a little snooze but that means her snoring for the gods again. She lucky I love her because it’s not cute but it’s the weight, it has to be because she loud and her double chin is out. It’s been leaked out anyways, Rihanna is giving birth. It’s everywhere and my lovely mom put the picture up but I don’t care, Jen text me and said they won’t let her in and I said after we have eaten I will come down, that was an hour ago “Chris” Robyn said, her voice so hoarse. Looking up at Robyn from my phone “my mouth is dry” she said in a whisper “well babe, that is what happens when you have your mouth open and you snore” Robyn side eyed me “second strike, you work fast” she should know me by now “Chris” passing Robyn the bottle of water “thanks but I am feeling like I am getting better but please, when things get hectic or they knock my ass out or if I get worse. Please don’t let them do C-section unless it’s life threatening, these doctors think shit is fine but I don’t want that shit. I don’t want my stomach cut open, I am scared. I am trying my hardest here to get better, I am trying to show them I can and I can. Chris you need to be by my side and listen to me, I heard you talking to your mom. Shit will be fine, I know it’s scary and I am scared but I need you to be strong for me. If god decides that my life is over with then fine because I don’t think I could live with knowing another baby has died in me” shaking my head getting up from the chair “I don’t want to hear that shit, man. Why talk that, I don’t want the baby. I want you, you ain’t leaving me here so stop it” I don’t want to hear such shit right now.